I just grabbed an older sketchbook and scanned a few things that I still somewhat consider good.

Three pirate characters from a convoluted sweeping epic fantasy idea thing I had. Left to right: Lydya, Gouram, and Calamin– Not to be mistaken for calamine.

Some bizarre interpretations of the Super Mario Universe.

I like to make cover art sketches for graphic novel ideas that are nowhere near completion. I’m still working on this one here and there. This character has since been drastically re-designed. She’s still lovable and Hell-bent in killing aquatic abominations though.

Over the past 2 weeks, I’ve manually (and individually) updated all 470 pages on my site. I ran into a lot of unexpected problems & I had to fix issues that I’ve been delaying/unaware of since February 2008.  That’s when my web host stopped supporting Frontpage & I needed to convert to Dreamweaver wayyyyy faster than I was comfortable with.  TurtleKiss.com isn’t perfect, but considering it’s functional and built on a foundation of questionable online tutorials, it’s decent. I’m thankful I was able to take the time to make the design more consistent and professional in appearance.  Can’t wait to see how long it takes for the code to become a mess again.

I plan to transfer & organize all of the photos from my old computers (five hard drives!!!!) to one external drive.  I’ve set up my 4-computer network and reconfigured my firewall & router to play nice with the new computer.  I’ve got all computers sharing files with each other, as well as the with the printer, Xbox360 and the PS3.  Even the Nintendo DS is picking up the Wi-Fi signal again.  I had forgotten how nice it is when things run smoothly (it’s been a while.)  I’m not a fan of Vista, but I’ll be upgrading to Windows 7 as soon as Dell decides to send to me.  I had the same exact situation with Windows Millenium before XP was released.

My break from eBay was fantastic – I did NOT miss the tedium of listing auctions!  However, I have many (30+) full-sized paintings to list before the Christmas shopping frenzy begins.

Just a reminder: My breast art will be featured in the December 2009 issue of MAXIM magazine, available November 17.  Please don’t hesitate to reserve your session for a commissioned “New Hope” breast painting.  These are great personalized gifts for investors, collectors of original art, creative individuals, and the person who has everything.  Requests will be scheduled on a first-come, first served basis.

The “UGH” section starts here.

You will no longer be seeing “similar items” from other sellers in any of my listings.  These “similar items” too often lead directly to the auctions of scumbag parasites. I am DONE helping plagiarists market their unoriginal, copycat GARBAGE.  I was recently told I “might enjoy” a gilded breast painting from another seller today!  Are people seriously incapable of thinking for themselves? I haven’t even listed a single piece from my “Gilded Hope” series yet ( or “Gilded Insomnia,” “Gilded Entropy,” & their respective ACEO crossover equivalents.)  Stealing ideas from an honest person must be a “unique” and “unorthodox” feeling.

I was not surprised by this revelation:

The last bit of this post’s title refers to that “artist” who’s been profiting off my ideas in a seemingly symbiotic, amicable, & harmless manner for quite some time.  I’ll save the screen captures, fun webcrawler tags, and details for another entry, but if you can figure out who I’m referring to (it’s not too hard)…view her feedback & see if you can spot a very suspicious ending price (on a painting that’s gone unsold since February.)  The painting in question allegedly sold for about 60 times the seller’s average selling price.  Yes, sixty.  That exact same painting (identical photo/title) is currently listed as “unsold” on a 3rd-party gallery site linked directly from another of the seller’s sites.  The Buy-it-Now price there is about 1/10th of the fake final “sale price” on eBay.

Did I mention that this painting more than DOUBLED in SIZE since it was originally listed on eBay and the other site?  That would certainly account for the increase in price – I wish I knew where to get these magical expanding canvases – even the depth increases!  Note to seller – you forgot to change the size in eBay’s Item Specifics from “medium” to “large.”  Also, it’s painfully obvious (visually) that this painting was done in the smaller (pre-magic spell) dimensions.  Keep that day job.

For those of you who haven’t seen this a million times like I have: This is called shill bidding.  The seller is trying to artificially increase the perceived value of her worthless junk by having a friend bid an unrealistic amount on it. She can then just give the painting away as a gift or something.  She and the “winning bidder” both pretend it was an in-person cash transaction, they leave each other positive feedback, and hope no one like me notices how damn shady the whole situation is.  In return, the seller gets undeserved Powerseller status, discounts for being a fraudulent “Top Seller” and an ego trip associated with deception of unsuspecting buyers who believe her lies.  Can you tell I’m a little miffed?  I worked my way up from the bottom, and it took a long time because I didn’t take dishonest shortcuts.  Shill bidding is unethical to honest sellers, it’s against eBay’s Terms of Service, it’s illegal in some places, and it’s just plain greedy to think anyone would pay that much for a painting by someone who charges for COAs and only profits from the loosely modified ideas of other artists and outright theft of Trademarked logos and images. I’ve already filed a report, but I also plan on following through with eBay Powerseller support because I’ve got way more time-stamped/dated evidence than their little form allows.  This could not be more obvious, clear-cut shill bidding, and I will make sure eBay gets all of the pertinent info.

I gave her the benefit of the doubt & I’ve been letting her subtle rip-off  ”pity art” slide for a long time.  That’s coming to an abrupt end, and I’m fully prepared to support my statements with facts.  I’m used to being a victim…and unfortunately I’ve gotten good at handling it in ways that are both professional and fair.  People like this don’t go away, they don’t get punished, and they never stop coming out of the woodwork.  Why do you think I’ve got 5 hard drives worth of screen captures and documentation of my ORIGINAL ideas?  Yes – partially due to insanity, but there’s a little common sense & self-protection thrown in.  I’m also dealing with a ridiculous amount of non-paying bidders lately.  I think that someone is trying to make me look suspicious by having random people open eBay accounts, bid on ONE of my pieces and nothing else, then win the auction and NOT PAY.  I report all NPB’s to eBay and now need to actively cancel bids from ZERO feedback bidders who don’t contact me prior to bidding. Legitimate bidders – thank you for your support & understanding.  I’m prepared to defend myself & confront anyone who thinks they can manufacture success out of thin air and lies.  I have no cushy job to fall back on – I’ve been a full-time Internet-based artist since 2003 and making ends meet has been ROUGH enough without these pesky little wannabes mirroring every little move I make.   Will someone please tell me what I did to deserve this?  Is there a sign on my back that says “Steal My Ideas & Betray Me While Discrediting Yourself in the Process?”  I’m annoyed, not flattered.

On a brighter note:

My husband and I celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary earlier this week.  I’m so fortunate to have snagged myself such an honest and hardworking studmuffin!

I love you NES – my density! <3

I donated 3 paintings to some great fundraisers this month:

Medicalodges Bike Show – breast cancer awareness (Eudora, Kansas)
CT Children’s Medical Center Storybook Gala (Hartford, CT)
HRC Annual Dinner, Gala & Silent Auction (San Antonio, TX)

So, that’s what I’ve been up to – sorry it hasn’t been too exciting.  My next post will have photos!  This was just meant to be a quick recap.  Here’s my currently available artwork:

Sorry, no magical expanding canvases here.

]]> http://lunarlorax.wordpress.com/2009/10/07/g-of/ Wed, 07 Oct 2009 04:23:52 +0000 Gameli Anumu http://lunarlorax.wordpress.com/2009/10/07/g-of/

The middle-aged mutant ninja turtles are chilling in their sewer headquarters. They have been having trouble riding out the recession.

Yo bro, did you get the pizza?

No problemo. Check it out.

What’s the deal, these are all plain pizza’s bro.

We can’t afford toppings, you know that.

This is really lame you guys.

What happened to April and Splinter?

Splinter’s helping the Dali Lama way out in Tibet. April’s doing a movie or something out in L.A.

Oh yeah, Maybe we’ll be able to see her movie at the theatre when it comes out.

Um, I don’t think it’s that kind of movie.

Huh?

We need to get jobs bros. We can’t keep waiting around for Splinter and April.

But bro, what marketable skills do we have? We kick ass and we live in the sewer.

Well, I’m actually working on my doctorate.

What? You think you’re better than the rest of us, Leonardo?

Just because I have other pursuits than kicking ass and eating pizza that doesn’t mean I am or think I am any better than the rest of you. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll do as well, when I have time anyway. We are brothers after all.

Kowabunga Dudes!

What?

I found something. Action Plumbing. Mario Bros. Plumbing Co. is looking for new associates.

Tubular bro. Nice work, let’s go check it out.

Not for me bro. I don’t do… plumbing.

But Donatello…

Sorry. I’ve already made plans. I’m going to join the superfriends.

Phhha ha ha ha. Sounds like a support group bro.

Yeah, or a daycare center.

Shut up! Well Maybe I’ll join the marines then. In any case I’m outta’ here.

Hey, we’re sorry bro. Don’t go.

I never wanted to be part of this stupid family anyway.

Donaaaaatelllloooooo!

The turtles, minus Donatello, arrive at Mario Bros. in the dead of night.

Raphael smacks the door with his elbow and wrist.

Use the doorbell dude.

Luigi opens the door. He stares sleepily for a moment then his eyes go wide.

Mario. Mario, wake up. We got koopas.  Hurry up Mario.

Jump on ‘em Luigi. Whatayou waitn’ for? Jump on ‘em.

I’m tryin’.

Mario gets a fire flower out of the kitchen and torches Raphael. Raphael falls over stunned and charred. Luigi jumps onto his back.

Who sentchu? Talk or I’ll pop you right outta’ yer shell.

Leonardo approaches slowly, hands in air.

Pardon me friends but I think we have a misunderstanding here.

Anotha’ one! Luigi, jump on it.

Wait a second.

It’s a trick. Jump on it.

Michelangelo falls out of the sky onto Mario’s back.

How do you like being jumped on, dude.

Michelangelo, get off of him. We aren’t here to fight…

Luigi pulls a mushroom out of the ground and eats it. His size increases by a ratio of 2. He runs at Michelangelo. Leonardo cuts him off.

We come in peace, dude. We just want to be plumbers.

Ay, Mario. Did you hea’ that? These koopas saw are ad in the paper.

The training is gruesome but the turtles learn quickly. They will be paid in pizza. The phone rings. A wealthy prince has monsters coming out of his giant novelty faucet.

Come owa koopa apprentices, to the pipe.

Mario and Luigi jump into the large green pipe in their basement. After a moment of hesitation the turtles jump in turn, flipping and spinning awesomely.

Tubulaaar!

Kowabungaaaa!

Pizzaaaaa!

Our heros trek through the sewers dispatching dozens of wild goombas. dunuh nuhnuh nuhnuh. dunuh nuhnuh nuhnuh. doot doot doot doot duhduhduhdeedeedeedoodoodoo. They they walk into another pipe and find themselves in the prince’s giant novelty bathroom. The prince is cornered by Bowser and two mechakoopas.

Dad?

Bowser turns to see Raphael staring up at him, pupils dilated with affection.

What are you talking about. You’re not my son.

Dad what are you saying?

Bowser sighs heavily and breathes fire onto the tile wall.

My Egyptian Tile!

Shut up, prince.

Bowser draws his family tree into the ash with his claw. His voice is deep and rumbly.

You see the koopa family is descended from a line of royalty. You are just a freaky mutant commoner of some kind. I suspect you are the result of nuclear tests you know, like Godzilla.

Oh, I see.

Well excuuuse me princess. In that case let me give you a royal ass kicking. Kowabunga.

Michelangelo kicks Bowser upside the head. Luigi takes out the mecha koopas, Mario grabs the Prince, and Leonardo sets a bobom.

Garrrr. Mario Brrrrrrrothersssss!

Our heroes escape as the giant novelty bathroom explodes. Raphael is covered in ash from the explosion. The prince is crying.

My giant novelty bathroom. Aboobooboooo. Here’s the money. No tip.

Well, you koopas ar’ olright. Everything went according to plan.

At this rate we will be the number one plumbing company in no time, but we can’t blow up anymore bathrooms. Mario, what were you thinking?

All in good time little bro, all in good time. meh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

Mario seems to be hiding something in his hand…

By Tiger Oliver

There are some movies that are scary, then there are movies that are bad. Then, there are movies that are so bad, they’re scary.

Then, there’s 1993’s box office disaster, Super Mario Brothers.

Honestly, anyone who can make it through this massive trainwreck of fail without wanting to kill their television can probably make it through all of the nasty internet shock videos that have circulated around the internet since 2 Girls 1 Cup.

This movie has got to be the worst video game movie ever made, tied only with Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Street Fighter. However, to give some iota of a silver lining to the tempest, it was the very first movie to be based off of a video game.

To put the plot in a nutshell, two plumbers named Mario Mario and Luigi Mario (played by Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo, respectively) come across an NYU student named Daisy (played by who’s digging for fossils under the Brooklyn bridge. Luigi and Daisy go back later that night and find that the site had been sabotaged. So, they grab Mario and go back, where the Mario brothers get knocked out and Daisy gets kidnapped. Our plumbers give chase and find a parallel universe and a city called Dinohattan ruled by Bowser Koopa (played by Dennis Hopper of Speed fame) who turned the former ruler into fungus.

Turns out, 65 million years ago a meteor hit the planet, causing a dimensional rift in which the few remaining dinosaurs entered and evolved into a humanoid species not unlike ourselves. However, the only way to reunite the dino-dimension and our dimension is to put the meteor back together. The only remaining piece of the meteor left separated belonged to Daisy. Okay, so it starts to make sense.

After that, everything goes topsy-turvy. No, not the movie, the entire plot. After a chase scene, a huge woman bouncer getting fresh with Mario, the revelation of Daisy being the princess of the whole dang dimension and something about a Koopa de-evolution machine that looks strangely like an old Super Nintendo Super Scope, it gets to where the big face-off begins. Mario and Luigi de-evolves Koopa into some goop, ending his reign over the reptilian universe. The Mario brothers leave, but are quickly called upon by Daisy again to help with some villains.

Let me spell it out for you, they actually planned a sequel!!!

Thankfully, for the sake of humanity, they never got the chance. This film was widely criticized by everybody: the critics, the movie-goers, the video game fans and even those who worked in the movie itself. Shigeru Miyamoto even criticized it for trying to parallel the Super Mario franchise too much. The movie flopped in the box office and everyone who worked on its production has claimed that it’s the worst mistake they’ve ever made in their entire careers.

However, not to say that there wasn’t good in the movie. Bob Hoskin’s accent made the Mario character come alive, much like “Captain” Lou Albano when he protrayed the mustachioed hero in “The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!”. Plus, Dennis Hopper’s performance in this game landed him in more villain roles, most notably in Speed and Waterworld. Also, the Bob-omb was actually a perfect representation of its video game counterpart. That, in itself, saved the rental VHS tape from a horrible Super Mario Bros. demise via falling into a lake of fire.

Needless to say, this movie is awful. Decent acting, Bob-ombs and a sweet Mario accent couldn’t save this movie from being the steaming pile of scrambled Yoshi eggs that it is. A horrible plot, even worse depictions of video game concepts and the lack of any worth-while relationship to the franchise outside of small references completely kills this movie for me.

Honestly, you should watch this on Halloween, it’s scarier and more disturbing than anything that Jigsaw himself could dream up.

so the other day i was going through some old game soundtracks that i haven’t heard in quite some time. a soundtrack that i totally forgot existed completely surprised me. the original Mario Party soundtrack for the N64 is freakin great. the songs vary in style and some are super funky.

this particular song is the theme song of the Mini-Game Island part of the game. it’s definitely my favorite out of them all. just thought you guys should know.

now i’m kind of excited to go look for even more hidden gems.

7th Aug 2009 – The Dublin Castle, Camden, London

www.popesofchillitown.com

www.flickr.com/ashleywoodphotography

Photos By Lola, Preet and Ashley Wood

Mario costume

Donkey Kong costume

Jack as Bowser

Liz on the sax as Paperboy

Ewan as Goldeneye

Donkey Kong and Mario kiss and make up

Julina represents as Mario! Good costume man!

Little known fact that Rayden from Mortal Kombat actually drinks red wine and play bass in a ska band

Some more pics from Alex – nice costumes dudes! Shonobi, Princess Peach and Chun Li!

Late 2009, the new Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games comes out! Should be really cool, since not only are you able to use the Wii Balance board for the Wii on it, but you also can play it on the DSi! Here are some pictures of the game:

Looks fun I’ll post more info once more comes in.

Credited to Nintendo.com and GameFaqs.com

This is all new, but i’ll give it a whirl.

Once everything is sorted fully, we should be going on tour with KOOPA in October. I’m not a massive fan, but they’ve worked with Mark Hoppus and Virally marketed their way into the UK charts, so that has to count for something. There’s been some decent interest fom some decent venues so far, which leads me to the conclusion that there might be people at these shows every night. Which will be a first or us, playing to more than 10 punters every night. I’m interested to see what it’s like, actually having a crowd to feed off. I know this sounds stupid, but in our postition, and band of little noteriety and more infamy than fame, it’s a novelty, one that i’d love to get used to. We feel we’re going from strength to stength both as songwriters and as a live band, and it’s truly soul destroying when nobody but you gives a fuck. Disconnecting ourselves and playing for our own benefit is generally what sees us through the bad shows, and the good ones just serve to remind us why we do it. If the day comes that i get to play 200 shows a year and live in a van with my friends, i’ll honestly be able to die happy.

Which brings me to another point. I’m sick to death of promoters trying to fuck bands over. Bands that travel to shows trying to make a name for themselves, squeezing all five of them into a Fiat Punto and trekking to play whatever shows they can, only to be told that, despite them being from 60 miles away, they haven’t brought X amount of people, so they won’t be getting paid. Even though the promoter hasn’t even bothered to turn up to the show. A prime example of this is Stu from Varsity Veune in Wolverhampton. We were assured a take of the door money for petrol and such, and not told about any “bring X people with you” requirements. We were then told that because we didn’t bring anyone with us, we would get any money, despite what was said. We wouldn’t have accepted the show, had we known that those were the requirements. So as a result we wasted effort and what little money we had, playing a poorly promoted show, 70 miles from where we live, to no one but a couple of members of the other bands.

The moral of the story is, get and keep written confirmation of your guarentees. It’s nice to think word of mouth and a gentlemans agreement is enough, but unfortunetly, it’s no longer the case.

Currently listening:

http://myspace.com/movingmountainsmusic

http://myspace.com/halfheartedheroband

Currently reading:

Ticktock by Dean Koontz

Quote of the day:

While passing Nabucca:

Tom: “How did it burn down?”

Me: “…..it caught fire?”

some of you may have already seen this last week when it was released online amongst specific communities, but i figured it deserves a mention on Sick Damage as well. we’ve seen artists take the Kid Robot blank Dunnys, Labbits, and Munnys to extrodinary levels. Some bro turned a smoking Labbit into a Para Troopa from Super Mario!! so well done.

here is the original Labbit model.

now it’s a freakin Para Troopa!!

just the head. koopa smokin bluntz. so appropriate.

the same artist also went along and turned a Dunny model into Luigi. SPAGHETTI!

“New Hope #210″ – 9″ x 12″ – breast creasted

“Entropy #3″ – 12″ x 16″

Auctions and store items located here

Koopa kept getting in the way while Nes was assembling the new grill, so I placed an empty wicker laundry basket over him.  This basket was curved in shape and Koopa could have left freely at any time if he was smart enough to just look down…

We had our first gaming console when I was around 8 years old. It was called the Goodboy Family Computer. Games during those times were Street Fighter, the game where I first learned the foundation move of all fighting games, the down+up+button combination, haha! Rockman 3, my first ever encounter with the blue little robot that glows when you hold the fire button and changes color every time you beat a boss. Of course, Super Mario who looked like a red and blue combination of boxes who grows bigger when you eat the mushroom and becomes invincible when you get the star. Then after some years, my parents bought a Super Nintendo (SNES), it was much like our first gaming console, games were chips covered with rectangular plastic which you need to forcefully insert in the opening found at the console’s upper part. This gaming console introduced me to that big macho ape called Donkey Kong (I forgot the name of his assistant, the one with the hat).

(Rockman 3. Picture from here)

(SNES. Picture from here)

(Donkey Kong. Picture from here)

After some time, my uncle working abroad went home and brought us a Nintendo 64. Because of this console, I was able to play with Mario in a 3D environment and found out that Koopa is different from Bowser, I really thought they were one and the same haha.

(Nintendo 64. Picture from here)

(Mario 64. Picture from here)

Then, during my teenage years, my parents upgraded our Nintendo 64 to a Playstation 1. It was the best of its kind during this time, well at least in our house hehe. We had Megaman X4, Tomb Raider, Marvel Super Heroes, and of course, the only RPG game I was able to finish and the reason why I had to jump out of joy (serious) because I got a blue sword with a lion engraved in its handle, Final Fantasy VIII. Squall, Zell, Rinoa… Are these names familiar? For me, they were almost good as real people hehe.

(Playstation 1. Picture from here)

(The blue sword I was talking about. Picture from here)

Then we upgraded again, this time with a Playstation 2. During this time, gaming was not my thing anymore, so I let my brothers play most of the time. Of course, having 3 other brothers who love games as well, we have mini competitions with Marvel Vs. Capcom. There was a time that I took it seriously, so I play in ‘practice mode’ when my brothers were asleep.

(PlayStation 2. Picture from here)

(Marvel Vs. Capcom 2. Picture from here)

Then just a couple of years ago, my parents upgraded our Playstation 2 with a Nintendo Wii. Talk about interactivity. It’s the best gaming console I laid my hands on. Because it was so good, I went back to playing games again. I was having my training in Nestle during the time they bought the Wii so I had no assignments and exams for 3 months! Because of that, I spent every night playing boxing… I ended up enhancing my muscles haha.

(Nintendo Wii. Picture from here)

Then I stopped playing again until a couple of days ago when my brothers brought out the dusty Playstation 2 and challenged me for a battle in Marvel Vs. Capcom. Wow! I still know the moves and I can still do some combos.

So much happened since that day where I first played with our Goodboy till the day I finished Zelda in Nintendo Wii. But after everything… I’m back playing with my brothers again, with the same enthusiasm and competitiveness as I had before… as if nothing really happened.

The Danzanites were surprisingly similar to people on Earth. If I had to choose, I’d probably go as far as to say the residents of Danza were more fun than the people of Earth.

Every day was like a party to these people; there was always something to celebrate, whether it’s an anniversary of a discovery or accomplishment, or God forbid, Tony Danza’s birthday. One of the Toads told me about the celebrations Tony Danza’s birthday. He explained that every year there is a giant melee with every member in each region of Danza. The last creature standing is declared that years ‘Boss’.

King Koopa seems like a shoo-in, I thought to myself. I’ll have to get an update next April 21^st.

Apparently a Donkey Kong with patches of grey hair was this year’s sore loser because he overheard me talking to Toad and went bananas (pun intended). He started howling and chasing after me. I turned to ran but wasn’t quick enough; DK caught me with struck my head with enough force to knock me out.

I woke up in my bed and turned to look at my alarm clock, which read 3:23 AM. Was that all a dream?, I asked myself. The Sham-Wow guy was telling me to buy the Slap Chop now. I let out a groan and cursed the far off dream of a Tony Danza-centric utopia. Then I noticed there was something next to my alarm clock that I don’t remember being there before. It was a Jell-O pudding cup with a note attached which read:

Sorry about that.

We’ll come back next year.

And go to the Waterslide Galaxy.

And who knows, you may have a shot at being next year’s ‘Boss’.

- The Danzanites.

Thus ends the tale of Danza. What did you think? Do you have any suggestions? Favorite aspects of the story?

Thanks for reading.

Lucky!!!

Yes…I am slightly addicted to Mario Kart.  It helps me unwind.  I don’t have a problem though.  I just play after a hard days work.  OKAY?  Stop bothering me about it!

Sit back and unwind…la la la la

At 8X10, “New Hope #192″ is the smallest non-ACEO breast painting in the series:

My newest series of ACEOs is comprised of individually-edited photo prints of my (sold) painting, “New Hope #180.”  The original painting was created with black/white/silver paints, but these prints will be individually colorized and enhanced, making each one unique.

“New Hope #180 – v.1.0″

“New Hope #180 – v.2.0″

“New Hope #180 – v.3.0″

Link to photos of the original painting.

The weather’s been nice for Koopa, and he’s happy to go outside again.  He decided to hang out in this pile of garden hose/wire fence for about 10 minutes…seemingly fascinated by everything.

All paintings and prints can/will be found here.