En Israel crearon un nuevo modelo de computadora: se trata de la Idische Computer.
Después de media hora de hablar con el vendedor, usted pensará que es muy barata, que es una oportunidad única y querrá comprar dos.
Viene con las siguientes novedades:

• Está preparada para durar 120 años.
• El cursor se mueve de derecha a izquierda.
• Viene con dos discos duros, uno para los archivos lácteos y otro para los de carne.
• Si uno la deja de usar durante un minuto,aparece un protector de pantalla diciendo: “¿Nu?”
• No trabaja desde el viernes a la noche hasta el sábado a la noche.

Es imposible incorporarle nuevos archivos en Iom KIppur.

• Si te da a elegir entre dos opciones y elegís una, te pregunta: “¿La otra no te gustó?”
• Pueden aparecer instrucciones del tipo:”Inserte el cable en el tujes del monitor” o “Ese mouse no es el indicado, busque uno que sea de la Colectividad.”
• EL sistema arranca con “Hava Naguila” como música de fondo.
• El Office incluye “Un poco de esto, un poco de aquello…”
• Cuando se satura la memoria RAM envía un mensaje: “¡Oi veiz mir!”.
• Cada tanto, te pregunta: “El sistema está lleno de “drek”, ¿lo defragmentamos?”
• Los virus se curan con sopita de pollo, té con limón o una enema.
• Si usted apaga mal la compu, aparece un cartelito que dice: “Debería darte vergüenza.”
• Además de ofrecerte grabar, imprimir o abrir archivos, también te ofrece varéniques, kreplaj y sopita con kneidalaj.
• Cada 7 días aparece un cartelito: “Ya es hora de actualizar su antivirus y de visitar a su mámele.”
• Los archivos no se convierten.
• El símbolo de “Guardar como” es una alcancía del Keren Kaiemet Leisrael.
• Por supuesto, no tiene íconos.
• El antivirus más ortodoxo borra todos los archivos que contienen la palabra jamón; revisa 613 archivos por minuto y ante un virus, no pregunta si uno quiere que lo arregle, sino que dice: “Si Él quiere, será arreglado y restaurado.”
• Cuando la apagas, se escucha un mensaje que dice: “Está bien…vos apagame, que yo sufro en silencio…”

Happy Thanksgiving!

What shall I be thankful for? Too many things to count, thank G*d, but let’s keep it with the theme here.

While visiting the Magic Kingdom and EPCOT Center in the 1980’s, we didn’t really think about how we were going to fuel up for and during the day. We were a “commando-style” family to the max. Stopping for lunch was a no-no, and taking a break during the day to swim or nap was heresy. As a family who kept to a kosher diet (albeit with some leniencies that I’ve dropped over the years), the Disney dining experience just wasn’t happening for us. So, our food-for-fuel consisted of a big breakfast at the hotel (likely cereal & bagels), a snack during midday (Mickey bar, popcorn, etc.), and something for dinner. We’d pick up some nosh at a counter service spot that was deemed kosher enough for us, and made do (or we had more popcorn, ice cream, etc.). Again, food was for fuel purposes only in the Magic Kingdom – not for the nutritional value, and surely not for the culinary experience. It worked well for us and we liked it. We never felt we were missing out at all.

Decades go by, and I find myself in Anaheim for a conference, and my wife and 1 ½ year old daughter come along for a Disneyland experience. Because she is so young, she doesn’t “get it” as much as we’d hoped. So, we think out of the box: why not a character meal? It’s expensive considering we would be able to eat much at all, but two things convince us to give it a go:

• Breakfast is the easiest way to go for the kosher traveler
• My daughter is the biggest fan of Minnie I could imagine

So, off to the PCH Grill at the Paradise Pier hotel. Total success! The smile on her face was incredible. It was an experience that was totally new for me, let alone her. I was convinced of the character meal dining experience.

So, what is new at Disney World when I go back in 2005 after a long hiatus? Kosher meals! Happy day! We did kosher meals for character dining at Crystal Palace in 2005 and Tusker House in 2008. What a great experience, and we even had hot kosher food. We also enjoyed the “luxury” of counter service kosher meals to get us through the day. While I didn’t miss this at all as a kid, as a parent I am grateful.

Is the kosher dining at WDW and Disneyland anything close to the dining experience the average Joe has? Absolutely not. As anyone who keeps kosher in any capacity knows and understands, that would be a luxury that is rare on any kind of vacation. But to have that option available makes the experience that much more enjoyable. The food isn’t Victoria & Albert’s, but it beats popcorn for lunch and ice cream for dinner. And the character meals are now a “must-do” for us on any trip to a Disney park.

So, I am thankful for kosher dining at Disneyland and Walt Disney World.

(If there were to be a kosher resturaunt with freshly cooked kosher food on property, then expressing my gratitude wouldn’t be possible with words alone.)

First of all, shalom y’all!  Welcome to my first real blog here on Word Press.  I have been meaning to get one started for some time based on the baking and cooking adventures of myself and Rashe.  Thanksgiving is a mere day and a half away and what better time to throw out some of my favorite recipes in honor of one of my favorite holidays.

Texas style chili con carne

There are a few dishes I have been reluctant to try or have made few times because for some reason they scare the crap out of me.  Overall, I am a type B personality, but when it comes to cooking *anything* I hover around those people asking their very detailed opinion.  My love for those around me is in what I make, wow very yiddishe mame of me!  Of those dishes that give me hives thinking of making is chili.  Meatloaf and gravy are also up there, but last week conquered the meatloaf fear and made one of the best *I* have ever had.

Sunday morning I watched America’s Test Kitchen and they made a chili out of chuck roast.  According the them, true Texas style chili con carne does not have beans and with the plethora of yummy ingredients I decided to try it.  However, ATK wants you to have a membership in order to download those recipes and with the penny-pinching that is going on in over drive, I decided it was not worth it.

From memory and another chili recipe, I have what is one of the best chilis I have ever made and have ever eaten.

• Three tablespoons chipotle
• Three tablespoons chili powder
• Two tablespoons cumin
• Two teaspoons oregano
• Four pounds of chuck roast
• Kosher salt
• Eight slices of turkey bacon (or regular if not a kosher diet)
• One medium onion
• Five medium cloves of garlic
• Four small jalapeno chile peppers
• One can of crushed tomato (approx. one cup)
• Two tablespoons lime juice
• Five tablespoons of Jiffy corn muffin mix or Masa Harina
• Ground black pepper and salt (like you need it after this is cooked, but I remember they had it for “season to taste”)

Preparation:

1. Mix all those chili powders, cumin, oregano in a small bowl and stir with enough water to make a paste.  P.S. I am not an exact recipe builder so I will try to give that or an idea of what it would look like. Set paste aside.

2. Take your chuck roast and cut out all the hard fat.  I rip it open with my hands (ARRRGGG!!!!!!!) and pull off the fat.  If you are less than interested in that, use a knife.  Leave any soft fat so it will melt into your meat.  Cube roast into one inch chunks and toss with two teaspoons of kosher salt.

3. I know I am going to run into a lot of trouble with bacon purists here.  You see, bacon from pig is not allowed in kosher cooking, so we have to find other alternatives.  I am all cool with everyone else using the bacon of your choice.  My choice was turkey.  Turkey did not have the allotted amount of fat to make this recipe (as opposed to pig) so I had to improvise with extra olive oil.

OH!  And this was my first time cooking bacon, ever.  Seriously.

Fry bacon in a large Dutch oven over medium-low heat until fat renders and bacon crisps, about 10 minutes.  Remove bacon with slotted spoon to paper towel lined plate and pour all but two teaspoons of bacon fat from pot into a small bowl, set aside.  Increase to medium high heat and saute chuck roast in four batches until well browned on all sides, searing in all that lovely goodness (about five minutes per batch).  Add additional bacon fat (or olive oil) for each batch.  Set browned meat aside.

4. Reduce heat to medium and add 3 tablespoons bacon fat to empty Dutch oven.  Chop up that onion and saute the onion FIRST!  I was lame and threw in the jalapeno, but yeah, saute for about five minutes.  Add chopped garlic and chopped jalapenos to the onion and saute those buggers until fragrant.  The point is to caramalize those babies, it is worth the extra attention to detail. Add chili powder paste for another couple of minutes until fragrant.  Add reserved bacon fat (or a couple of tablespoons of olive oil) and browned chuck roast, crushed tomatoes, lime juice, and seven cups of water.  Bring to a simmer and cook at a steady simmer until meat is tender and juices are dark, rich, and starting to thicken, about two hours.

5. Mix masa harina (or Jiffy cornbread mix OR 3 table spoons of cornstarch) with one cup of chili broth.  Mix it up to make a bit of paste, if it still looks like flour dumplings put it in the microwave a minute at a time until dumplings disappear with your whisking styles of awesomeness.  Increase heat to medium, stir in paste, and simmer until thickened about five to ten minutes.  Adjust seasonings generously with salt and ground black pepper to taste.  Serve immediately or store up to five days.  The left overs are killer!

Chili is one of those dishes I consider sacred to many people.  Everyone has their “world’s best” and you know it because the chili cook off business is hopping.  This also produces a large number of chili purists.  This is for you.  Toasting, chopping, and grinding whole dried chiles *makes* a chili.  You know it.  If you want to go that route to knock off the socks of your family and friends this is what to do: toast the whole dried chiles and grind them in a mini-chopper or a coffee grinder dedicated to spices only (good idea, so stick with it!). Pick chiles that feel like dried fruit. Bake chiles in the oven at 350 degrees for six minutes or until puffed. Cool, stem, and seed, tearing pods to pieces.  Grind chile pod in the grinder until powdery. If you like that hot, hot (hawt!) chili add a little of cayenne or hot pepper sauce.

Top it off with cilantro, avocado (yum!), onion or if meat/cheese does not bother y’all, throw on some cheese or sour cream.

Again, the leftovers are the best and I am still getting accolades from those who were over to dinner last night.  It does take a bit of time and can be done in stages because children may need to be payed attention to once in a while.    I also suggest wearing gloves for the jalapeno chopping, but hey, I discovered washing my hands in baking soda paste helps take the pain away.  I love hearing what other people do in their cooking, so feel free to share your best chili ideas and hope you enjoy this chili recipe!

B’tayavon!

Kosher Spice

After an annual trip to Costco, my fridge looked like it was going to explode at any second.  You had to precariously open the door, for fear of anything from oversized sauce jars to heads of broccoli falling on your unsuspecting foot.  Without even realizing what I’d done, a ginormous tray of sliced mushrooms kept pleading with me everytime I snuck in for a quick snack.  I do love a mushroom and I happened to be in the ball and realized I was overdue in my soup of the week, so I thought: let’s kill two birds with one stone (figuratively of course!!).  This resulted in a creamy, earthy soup that tasted even better as my warming lunch the next day.

.

INGREDIENTS:

1 TBSP butter

1 medium onion, finely chopped

1 TBSP olive oil

2 dozen crmini mushrooms, chopped

2 cloves of garlic, minced

3 cups stock (your choice – as long as it’s rich and good!)

1 cup boiling water (you may use more or less, depending on the thickness you desire)

1 tsp sea or kosher salt (if your stock is super salty, use less)

1/3 cup 10% table cream

Pepper to taste

.

DIRECTIONS:

1)      Bring a large pot to medium heat and sauté the onion in the butter and olive oil until just browned.

2)      Add into pot the garlic and mushrooms, and sauté until browned and softened (about 5-10 min).

3)      Pour stock, water and salt into pot, bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 30 min (or until veg are very tender).

4)      Turn off heat and allow soup to cool slightly, then add in cream.

5)      Pour 3/4 of the contents into a blender, and blend until smooth (you can add in extra liquid if it’s too thick).

6)      Place puréed soup back in pot, add in pepper to taste and re-heat slightly (you do not want to burn the soup, so keep a close eye).

7)      Serve hot with crackers or bread!

Looking back on the previous year I realized that the travel world has changed me.

After decades of showing up 1 hour before my flight (and that’s for international flights, mind you) now I end up showing up so early – I have 2 hours at the gate.

I credit that to ElAl.

A good friend of mine showed up 2+ hours before his flight to Madrid and made it to check in with plenty of time to spare. Unfortunately for him, the flight was overbooked. Rather than bump a happy bumpee, they dug up the fine print and informed my friend that he did not show up on time. Don’t worry – the story has a happy ending.

For ElAl. Not for my friend, who was shipped to Barcelona and had to find his own way to Madrid. Cost – 1/2 day of vacation and at least $500. So, now I get there 3 hours before the flight. I am a changed man.

Second big change was reported in the New York Times.

Not about me, personally, but about the average traveller is ditching the web and booking flights through their travel agent. For the first time, I called a travel agent and had them do all the work. Changed flights ten times, paid later, speak to a human – it was all new for me and quite refreshing. (Kind of like my 8 year old kid discovering the VCR – you just put the tape in and press play. What a great idea! No menu! No scratched disk! No Estonian subtitles! – Just play the movie.) I actually had a good travel agent honest enough to tell me if I could get it cheaper online. But, I must admit that I still enjoy using the Western Union hold from time to time in online bookings.

And of course, if you need to decide where to do your Hannukah shopping on Long Island – at Roosevelt Field Mall or at Smithhaven Mall – you need the web. Or for conditions at Mt Baldy Ski Resort. If you just like reading blogs – try this travel blog and this vacation blog.

I guess this is a good place to introduce my readers to Josh Herst – blogger and Web entrepreneur, founder of TripHub. For our Canadian readers – check out this post with a rabbi’s experiences in the Canadian tundra (that’s a bit north of Hampstead, eh?).

• Restaurants Blog
• Shopping Blog
• Lloyd Center Mall Portland
• Pearlridge Shopping Center
• Potomac Mills Outlet Mall

I was once banned from the bread shop.  It was a few years ago so my conviction is now spent and I can talk about it without risking my reputation as an upstanding member of the Jewish community.

When I was a teenager I would go to pubs with friends, some of whom may not have been Jewish.  One was banned from the local where we liked to play pool.  He had drunk a fair bit more than he needed then started a fight with someone about something insignificant.  I was in awe.  Banned from a pub. Could I ever reach these heights of street cred?  Not by nursing a pint of weak shandy for 3 hours I couldn’t.  I considered switching my tipple of choice to something harder but wasn’t sure nursing a pint of cherry brandy was such a good idea either.  Still, if you can’t be banned from a pub, at least be banned from a bakery.

This particular Friday morning I was, as always, in a hurry on account of participating in Jewish blood sports.  I was the fox; the traffic warden was the hound.  The idea is to park, run in for the bread and get back to the car before a ticket is slapped on the windscreen.  This is especially challenging in Golders Green Road as the wardens have any number of places to hide so lulling shoppers into a false sense of security before pouncing.  Any rational person would stump up for a ticket, but I resent paying the council 30p just so I can buy a couple of loaves of bread, and besides, I can’t resist an adrenalin pumping contest when the prize is to get back to the car and smile provocatively at the warden just as he thinks he’s earned his first commission of the day.

So there I was in the shop, hopping from one foot to the other, one eye on the vicinity of the car, the other on my place in the queue. When I say queue, of course I mean I was keeping an eye on the person I had randomly decided had pitched up after me, so as to ensure that they didn’t get served before me.

I placed my order:  two medium challahs and two sesame bagels. Off the assistant trotted and returned with my bag.  I quickly paid and dashed out to the car just as one of the corporation’s finest was making his way towards my motor.

As I arrived home I realised there was something wrong.  The bag wasn’t bulky enough.  Sure enough I was one loaf light.  I was furious.  It was Friday morning for heaven’s sake. Who buys only one loaf of challah on a Friday?  Surely these dimwits would at least have been putting two loaves in every bag by muscle memory if, as in this case, they lacked the capacity to understand a simple instruction?

I stormed back to the shop and demanded to see the supervisor.  “If it wasn’t for your stupid assistants chatting with each other instead of concentrating on the job in hand…” I huffed, “…you people are USELESS!”

As cool as you like the woman took my bag, checked the contents, reached into the till, extracted the appropriate sum and handed it to me with the following quiet admonishment:  “It’s not acceptable to talk like that. Take your money.  You’re not welcome here again”.

I was flabbergasted.  I was talking in an unacceptable way?  I am English.  An Israeli was accusing me of being rude?

Mumbling something feeble along the lines of having no intention of ever setting foot in the shop again, I departed.  The coup de grace was the plastic yellow envelope attached to my windscreen as I sloped back to the car with as much dignity as anyone could muster following defeat by a four year old in an arm-wrestle.

Still, I had the last laugh.  They didn’t recognise me in the shop the following Friday morning when I went to buy my challah.

How is Torah more embodied than the Torah we put in our bodies?  The food we consume, or don’t consume, because we look to Torah for direction.  The following article by Jay Michaelson from the Forward makes a case for the new Magen Tzedek certification symbol, indicating that the food has been prepared according to the requirements of Jewish ethical law.

http://www.forward.com/articles/119143/

Forward.com

Magen Tzedek: Model of the Jewish Future or Show

Without an Audience?

The Polymath

By Jay Michaelson

Published November 18, 2009, issue of November 27, 2009.

The problem seems not to have changed. Back when I was at college, the egalitarian services couldn’t get a minyan, and so, while I didn’t like Orthodox liturgy, and didn’t approve of the mechitza (prayer barrier), I still schlepped up the extra flight of stairs to the traditional minyan, week after week. Whatever my personal preferences, it seemed that only Orthodox Jews cared enough to make the system work.

Today, I feel like the challenge remains the same — only writ much larger. Historically, progressive Jews have had trouble mustering the same degree of zeal as traditional Jews, whether regarding synagogue affiliation, in-marriage (and affiliation post-intermarriage) or any number of other values. This, the Orthodox often say with a degree of deserved smugness, just goes to show you.

Now, along come the Conservative movement’s efforts to create a Magen Tzedek, a seal for food products that would certify conformity not to the ritual particulars of kashrut, but to the deeper and more profound requirements of Jewish social justice law.

I think the Magen Tzedek is a fantastic idea — if it works. It makes a strong case for Judaism’s ethical relevance, a 21st-century update of the old Hebrew National advertisements — “We answer to a higher authority.” In fact, the Magen Tzedek is even better than the original, which, after all, was a ritual “authority” only tangentially related to contemporary health or sanitary concerns, It is a “higher authority” on values that really matter, to religious Jews, secular Jews and non-Jews alike.

Imagine if Jews were known in America to be the super-ethical people instead of the super-ritual ones. We’re the people who won’t eat a hamburger unless the workers at the restaurant are paid a fair wage. We’re the ones who consider environmentalism to be a matter of religious concern. Because doing the right thing matters to God.

This is good P.R., to put it mildly, both “outwardly,” in terms of the wider population, and “inwardly,” in terms of the Jewish community. This is a Judaism that stands for something meaningful, something more compelling than Jewish survival, or the ritual purity of cloven-foot animals. (Full disclosure: I keep kosher myself.) I’m not saying that the Magen Tzedek would end antisemitism and assimilation, but it would be a potent weapon against them.

And, contrary to the objections of some, it’s grounded in authentic, ancient Jewish values. Of course, the specific details of living wages and green production are new, just like the details of how to kasher a microwave. These will, and should, be debated: Many current Magen Tzedek requirements do seem to be needlessly obscure and overly strict. But the basic principles are indubitable. And I would suggest that in the Age of Madoff, making our ethical reasoning as current, comprehensive and mandatory as our ritual reasoning is, itself, a Jewish obligation. As many Orthodox rabbis said this past Yom Kippur, we need to be glatt yosher (ethically ‘straight’) even more than glatt kosher.

But it’s that pesky adjective — mandatory — that will be the biggest obstacle to the Magen Tzedek’s success. Practicing Orthodox Jews simply will not eat food whose preparation wasn’t properly supervised, even if they’re really hungry and there is no alternative. Will practicing progressive Jews be similarly strict? Or will this be yet

another optional practice that, like my egalitarian minyan at school, has the right values but no followers?

another optional practice that, like my egalitarian minyan at school, has the right values but no followers?

There are some positive signs. I know people who will not eat non-eco-kosher food (for example, factory-farmed meat or eggs, over-fished species of fish) and will not use environmentally unsound disposable plates, even if it means missing out on treats, snacks or full meals. And of course, there are increasing numbers of Americans who will not feed their children pesticide-laden vegetables or processed McFood made mostly out of corn. Some of this is motivated by health concerns, but some of it is value based, and much of it is every bit as strict as Orthodox kashrut. But such behaviors are still on the fringes. Will they ever become mainstream enough to make obtaining a Magen Tzedek worth the financial and administrative costs of doing so? Will progressive Jews care as much about progressive values as traditional Jews care about traditional ones?

I am both despairing and hopeful.

Within the Jewish community, I have my doubts. Conservative Judaism probably has the largest gap between ideology and practice, and it’s not clear how the Magen Tzedek will be any different from the 100 other Conservative rules and regulations that most laypeople ignore. Orthodox Jews have already, by and large, rejected it, although some have created their own version, which I’m not sure helps or hurts. And Reform Jews may not care about a specifically Jewish certification. That doesn’t leave much of a Jewish constituency.

But if the Magen Tzedek proceeds in its current direction, it will be of value far beyond the Jewish community. According to sources quoted in the Forward, the Magen Tzedek has the potential to be the most comprehensive “green seal” in America, and such seals matter economically. If the Magen Tzedek were to capture a share of this market — though, to be sure, there is already plenty of competition — it could indeed reach critical mass.

The dirty little secret of kashrut certification is that it works the same way. The kosher food industry has boomed in recent years: a 15% annual growth rate (compared with 4% for the food industry in general), and a $9 billion market. But according to a 2007 survey, 55% of kosher food consumers buy kosher because they believe it is healthier. And the majority of them are not Jewish.

This has to be the model for the Magen Tzedek — although not on the half-truth that kosher food is healthier, but on the whole truth that Tzedek food is more just. The takeaway is clear. If the Magen Tzedek gains traction among non-Jews who care about how their food is produced, it is sustainable. If it relies on Jewish observance patterns, it isn’t.

In a way, this is an unfortunate result — that a Jewish seal is of more value to gentiles than to Jews. But maybe it’s not so unfortunate at all.

In the coming century, sociologists tell us, Judaism will become less like an all-or-nothing proposition — ethnicity, identity, culture, nation and religion, all wrapped up in one — and more like one source of values, identity, spirituality and culture among many. We should get used to someone practicing Jewish dietary laws, Buddhist meditation and secular ethical values, whether that someone is born of a Jewish mother or not. Jewish culture and religion are going to survive not because of endogamy, but because they remain relevant to people of all ethnic and religious backgrounds who find them to be meaningful. Like it or not, the Kabbalah Centre, Matisyahu and the Magen Tzedek are the future of Judaism; they thrive not because the Jewish tribe maintains them, but because they appeal to a wide range of people.

This is a meaningful transition in the way Jewishness is understood. For some, it is terrifying. But for me, it represents a compelling model of how particularism can survive without ethnocentrism and despite assimilation — not quite a Judaism without Jews, but Judaism beyond the confines of the Jewish population. Yes, there will always be things that only Jews do: I don’t see the lulav and etrog suddenly holding universal appeal. But in the 21st century, progressive Judaism’s survival depends on its relevance to the other 99.9% of the world.

Thus, rather than seeing the Magen Tzedek’s dependence on non-Jews as a liability, I see it as an asset. Imagine an evening in which you enjoy African-American music, a Japanese-American car and Chinese-American food, and it’s all certified according to American Jewish ethical values. Could be worse.

Copyright © 2009, Forward Association, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

When running late scrambling to get up north before Shabbat, finding a place to eat is hard. But to our surprise what we found is Zichron Yaakov wasn’t just food but good food at that. As we began our trip to Haifa for the weekend, we left the house at 11:30 thinking we will get food along the way for the four of us, two adults plus two kids. Well typical Israel, mall and road stops don’t signage early enough for my speedy gonzalese husband. Soon it was 3:00 an hour before Shabbat  and we passed Zichron.

I have always loved Zichron, what is not to love. Beautiful little city tucked away in the hills over looking the Mediterranean. The city has taken great pains to ensure that the even the streets look quaint, matching the entire region’s wine and cheese flavor. As we drove up the main strip I didn’t expect to find anything that would be open but to our surprise Yoshki hummusia was kosher and open. I stepped in, of course there was no menu.  When I asked what there was, the waiter responded with “what do you want”. Finally we settled on hummus with meat, pita, shakshuka, and bean soup. He explained that we would have to eat outside since they were going to cleaning the restaurant, trying to shut down before Shabbat.

Now I was expecting much, and they definitely exceeded my expectations. The Hummus was a kinds chunky and creamy and even in their rush they took the time to apply all the condiments including olive oil, lemon juice, parsley, paprika and pine nuts.  Although this was not like Jerusalem Hummus it was really good with the fresh pita.

Both my husband and I were not big fans of the bean soup which need flavoring. But the eggs in the shakshuka were well cooked , the texture was creamy and it wasn’t too spicy (look my kids are not such fans of charif). I was just surprised that the cook who made it on the spot in a huge rush managed to make a simple but delicious meal.

While we sat enjoying the food, a little sun shower and the calm of Shabbat fell over the main street. After our meal we were ready to make our last jaunt to get to Hafia, We piled back in to the car so happy with full bellies and a great pre Shabbat feeling.

So if you are in the area check out the Hummusia is on the main drag to your right when coming into the city. It is definitely worth the drive.

I was recently told that I am not disclosing as much about my relationship and dating adventures as my other UG half, Josie, this post is an attempt to correct that. I am going to strive to be as honest as possible. We all know that Josie pines for Mr. Fig aka Mr. Tartless but perhaps my own dating escapades are more unknown. One of my good friends, who just happened to be best friends with my ex, had a show in downtown. His band The Mo Odds are awesome and I was excited to see my friend Tony especially after he asked me on Facebook: “Am I neglecting you?” We have been missing our tennis and wine club for more months than I care to count. Josie and I were going to see him at Casey’s bar but when I arrived there was no one there. Apparently, I had the wrong time and they were really set to go on at 11. It was now 10pm and I had a second party to attend, a Shabbat birthday dinner. My friend Barrett has become both my business and religious mentor. He also has become a yenta and told me that I must stick to kosher meat and pressured me in to dating Jews exclusively. Clearly, he knows what he is talking about because he is following his dream career doing what he believes in, found his perfect shul, and has an amazing Brazilian girlfriend whose birthday we were celebrating.

Lilian is awesome and while not being born Jewish has definitely proved to be the Jewish woman I dream to become. Every week she thinks of fun ways to celebrate the sabbath through interesting culinary choices. Being kosher, does not mean not being creative. On our Shabbat dinners spent with this cool young downtown couple we have had traditional Mediterranean, kosher Chinese, Indian, and Italian food. Her birthday was no exception and this week’s theme was southern with fried fish, barbecue beef ribs and chicken, corn, and mashed potatoes.

It was a fun night with delicious kosher food. I ended up giving a ride home to a guy that was supposed to ask me to dinner a month ago. Apparently, he had my phone number incorrectly in his phone so that never happened. This was not the typical guy. He has drivers, lives in a hotel, and his family’s winery has 80% of the kosher wine market. He was making Josie and I crack up all night and when I took him home I got talked in to going back to the hotel for breakfast the next morning and then going to shul. I have been to the very cool and hip Chabad of Downtown Los Angeles a few times and really like it there. I can’t read/understand Hebrew but I like eating pickles and talking to everyone after services. I don’t like singing but am all about pounding on the table and taking l’chaims. I was planning on a Saturday at home reading and watching movies but this guy is clearly not used to the word “no”. He made up parking spots for me, talked to door men, read through the Torah quickly so I could get out at the time I desired, and after returning convinced me to go to the movies. We were shuttled to the theater down the street and afterward had dinner. I was planning on none of this and one cocktail and half a bottle of champagne later I went home and fell asleep. By the way, the UGs will be taking a tour of the Herzog Winery in Oxnard in the very near future!

Josie called me and woke me up from my nap telling me that the very lovely Lisa from the Party Bus was having her party at the same place I had mine, The Rockwell. I was going to tell her that she was on her own, as I was way out of it, but I read her FB status that read: “My dear Carina will you take me on a date tonight?” I knew I couldn’t leave my other half hanging. As good UGs, we brought pear and gooseberry tarts and madeleines that we made for the birthday girl.

It was great seeing Lisa, Arun, Kane, and the vivacious Veronica who is finally back from Australia. I was busy talking to someone all night that went from Harvard to Burning Man and had an ancestor that was responsible for telegraphing the Emancipation Proclamation to all the armed forces. It is times like these, meeting all of these fascinating people, that make me so thrilled to be single in LA. I have been slightly down lately because the guy that I have a crush on told me he loved me twice but he was sleeping and had no recollection of it in the morning. I love declarations of love and have an affinity for crazy men that tell me that they love in the first week. It was far too early to hear such terms but I got excited and then disappointed. Oh well, it is good to have less pressure on that particular gentleman and just have fun. I went home on Saturday night with my favorite date, Josie. We woke up and got breakfast at Twohey’s in Alhambra. Josie is a champ and got the lumberjack breakfast and I had the tuna melt with the famous onion rings.

The food was classic diner and very filling. The story behind Twohey’s and their famous logo of the man with his nose plugged is that a woman was seated by a man who got his burger with pickles and onions and uttered “Oh Stink-o”. It was so good it stuck and is perfectly uncouth! The best part about this place is the people watching and the excellent management. The sweet manager, who is a member of the family business, came up and made sure we were enjoying our meal. I commented to Josie about what a nice Jewish man he was. When he returned Josie asked if he was Jewish. He responded, “Look at me, I am Greek…we are all cousins”. We gave him our card and he came back a few minutes later and said,  “Ladies, I looked at your blog and you two are having too much fun!” Truer words have never been spoken! We are having a ball or at the very least a matzah ball!

Maple, brown sugar, caramel, ginger, molasses, pumpkin, and cinnamon are some of everyone’s favorite Thanksgiving flavors.  Sweet and savory with a tiny amount of heat, they make for wonderful desserts and side dishes.  I look forward to the fourth Thursday in November every year.  I recall the traditional dishes and try to introduce something new as well.  My sister in law actually makes the Thanksgiving feast and I bring dessert, always trying to top what I made last year.  Even so, I always include pumpkin pie in the assortment.  Just to get my fill, I cook another Thanksgiving feast on the Friday after the big day so we can have another taste and our own leftovers at our house. 

Pumpkin pie is always a challenge since the traditional one  made with evaporated milk, therefore dairy, cannot be served in a kosher home after Turkey.  In addition, I am lactose intolerant or dairy allergic so I have come up with an alternative recipe.  Over the years, I have tried it with Mocha Mix, Soy Milk, Rice Dream, and other substitutes.  I think the unsweetened, organic soy milk produces the best textured non dairy filling.  For testing this recipe, I used Whole Foods brand.

Pie crust scares a lot of people, so they settle for salty store bought crust or just buy the whole pie.  My sister Carole’s pie crust is very easy and yields enough for two generous pie crusts or one double crust pie (like an apple pie).  You can assemble pie crust dough ahead of time and freeze the discs in plastic until the day you need it.

Pie Crust

3 cups unbleached flour

2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon sugar

1 cup vegetable shortening (Crisco no Trans fat comes in premeasured cubes)

1 egg

1 tablespoon white vinegar (like Heinz)

6 tablespoons ice water

Filling

2 extra large eggs

15 ounces canned pure pumpkin (like Libby)

1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon sugar

1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon packed light brown sugar

1 teaspoon cinnamon

½ teaspoon ground ginger

¼ teaspoon ground cloves

12 ounces organic unsweetened soy milk

To assemble the pie crust, place the flour, salt, and sugar in a medium bowl.  Stir together.  Add the shortening and with your hands or a pastry cutter, cut in the shortening until the dough looks clumpy, about the size of peas with some whole bits of shortening still visible.  Whisk the liquids together and then add to the flour mix.  Stir for a moment with a fork.  Press the dough together using your hands.  Form a large ball with out kneading and minimal mixing.  Divide the dough into two pieces and form 2 discs.

Take a handful of extra flour and dust the work surface.  The work surface should be stone or wood.  Flour the rolling pin as well.  Place the dough in front of you, with the side of your hands; make parallel indentations going one direction and then the opposite direction.  You will have a cross hatch.  Using a rolling pin, start rolling out the dough up and down taking care not roll off the edge.  Next, lift the dough, scatter some more flour under it, and give it a 90 degree turn.  Now roll the other direction.  Lift the dough again to make sure it is not stuck to the surface. Continue rolling from the center to the outer edges of the dough to form a circle around 13 inches in diameter.

Fold the circle in half and then again in quarters.  Take the center point and place it at the center of you pie plate (I like a 9 inch glass deep dish).  Unfold the pie crust until it fills the plate and overhangs the edge a bit.  Gently press the dough into the corners.  There should be an ample overhang of dough to roll under into a neat ridge.  Trim any excess.  Using your thumb and index finger of one hand to hold the rolled edge you can use the index finger on your other hand to press through where you are holding the edge and make a crimp.  Repeat the motion around the pie and you will have a scalloped edge.  With left over scraps of dough, you can roll out and cut leaves to decorate the edge with as well. 

Set the crust aside and prepare the filling.  Preheat the oven to 400º.  I recently noticed that the small can of pumpkin says 16 ounces, while the large can that is for 2 pies is only 29 ounces.  That sounds like screwy math to me, but who knows.

Put the pumpkin, eggs, spices, and sugars in a medium bowl.  Whisk until well blended, then add the soy milk and carefully whisk until combined.  Pour the filling into the prepared crust and place it in the heated oven.  Leave it at 400º degrees for 15 minutes and then turn the oven down to 350º for around another 40- 45 minutes.  The pie is done when the crust is deep golden brown and the custard is no longer loose.  Let it cool off and serve with parve (nondairy) ice cream or whipped topping.

Enjoy your holiday.

1.5 cup green lentils
1 small can chopped or diced tomatoes
1 cup vegetable stock
2 onions
1 garlic clove
1 tsp turmeric
1 tsp cumin
chopped cilantro or parsley
oive oil
salt and pepper

Saute the onion until softened but brown. When softened add the garlic. Once the aroma rises, add the spices and the lentils. Stir in the tomatoes. Cook for five minutes before adding the vegetable stock to cover the lentils. Check the lentils after 15 minutes and add more stock if necessary. Cook until the lentils are done. Salt and pepper to taste. Sprinkle with cilantro or parsley before serving. Nice with rice.

Serves 3 to 4 people

For a lentil soup, click here.

Her er en liste over viktige ingredienser i TINE produkter. Informasjonen er hentet fra TINE sine websider. PDF-filen kan lastes ned her: Faktaark religion og matregler.

Løpe

TINE bruker løpe utvunnet fra storfe i sine oster. (Det er delte meninger om løpe er halal eller haram blant lovskolene, men løpe fra storfe/kalv/ku er tillat i Hanafi-lovskolen).

Det finnes TINE oster uten animalsk løpe som er fremstilt av mikrobiell løpe eller uten løpe (halal):

- Norbo ost (halal-godkjent m/ mikrobiell løpe)
- Norsk Chevre (mikrobiell løpe)
- Snøfrisk hvitost (mikrobiell løpe)
- TINE Kremsot
- Snøfrisk
- Sans Kesam
- Sans Kremost
- TINE Gamalost
- TINE pultost

( ^ Resten av ostene er uten løpe)

Gelatin

Brukes i et fåtall av TINE’s produkter og utvinnes av svin. Følgende produkter inneholder gelatin (haram):

- Sans Yoghurt 0,1%
- TINE Yoghurt Omega 3
- LITAGO Yoghurt Omega 3
- LITAGO Yoghurtkesam
- Crème Chèrie (ost)

Tilsetningsstoffer

Mono- og diglyserider: Alle mono- og dygliserider, emulgatorer e471 og e472 i TINE produkter er fremstilt fra planteråstoff og kan spises av muslimer, jøder og vegetarianere (halal).

Karmin: E120 er fremstilt fra en insektart (haram).

D-vitamin

Vitamin D som finnes i TINE Melk Ekstra Lett og TineSmør er godkjent for vegetarianere, kosher og halal (halal).

Alkohol i Kefir

TINE Kefir Økologisk inneholder 25-50 milliontidels milligram alkohol per liter, noe som er godt under 0,1% alkohol i kefiren og kan derfor konsumeres av muslimer (halal).
Grunnen til alkoholdannelsen i kefir og bl.a. brøddeig er gjæringsprosessen.

WallahuAlim.

halalharamguide

Another case of forgetting to take a picture before eating.

I got this bagel, shmear, and lox in the Marais, the Jewish district of Paris, last Sunday. It was definitely not the Sunday brunch that dad picks up from Bagel Chateau. Dad usually get bagels (obvi), chive cheese, baked salmon spread, sometimes whitefish salad, and lox. Each thin slice of lox is perfect when it comes from Bagel. it has none of those funny yellow edges, and isn’t tough at all. It’s pink, a little oily and has the perfect balance of smoke and fish flavors.

The above bagel is probably the best that I could do in Paris. They put vegetables on the bagel (a sin if they’re anything but tomato and red onion) and make it so that I have to eat the bagel like a sandwich, instead of the open-faced style that I grew up with.  The lox was definitely not as tender as Bagel’s, and had a darker tint to it. The bagel was fluffy and more breadlike than bagelike.   But, being deprived of my favorite Sunday brunch food for almost three months now made this bagel almost like manna.  Everyone else in Paris is putting smoked salmon in pasta, laying it out on plates with Bellini, or eating it on a baguette with mayo. Thankfully, my people here actually know what to do with it. Our waiter took it one step further and  lamented, “the best is scrambled eggs, a bagel, and lox but they don’t have that here.” Too true.

Despite it not being Bagel, I felt somewhat at home, surrounded by many Jewish people eating their bagel and shmear (and omelets and gratins and….falafel! but that’s another post…)

]]> http://sukicooks.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/chocolate-and-caramel-deliciousness/ Fri, 13 Nov 2009 19:35:15 +0000 sukipuki http://sukicooks.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/chocolate-and-caramel-deliciousness/

This is some seriously delightful business.  It’s not heavy, it’s not overwhelming (at least when proportions are done well; more on that later), it’s crisp and travels well and melts in your mouth.  Best of all, it’s incredibly easy but you can tell people it was a burden and they’ll totally believe you.  Homemade caramel is one of the great mysteries of the world to most, so milk that for all it’s worth.

Use fewer pieces of matzoh if you want a thicker layer of caramel, add more chocolate chips if you’re not such a caramel fan.  I was running low on crackers when I made a recent batch and the caramel layer was slightly too much for comfort.  The balance in the recipe below is, for me, just right.  And a little tip: after everything sets, freeze all the pieces and it’ll keep forever.  I froze a batch before taking it on a lengthy plane ride a while back and the chocolate didn’t even think about getting all melty and messy.

This is originally from David Lebovitz, bless him.

Chocolate-Covered Caramel Crunch

5 or 6 sheets lightly salted matzoh or approximately 40 Saltine crackers (matzoh really works best and it’s a lot more common than it used to be)
1 cup butter, cut into a few large pieces
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups chocolate chips (you can go fancy and use chopped dark or milk chocolate, but it’s really not necessary)

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line your biggest baking sheet (as long as it has a lip! I’m imagining the horrors that would ensue if you tried this with one of those edgeless sheets.  Ack!) completely with foil.  Now layer it again.  Trust me, you want a nice barrier between melted hot sugar and your cookie sheet.

Line the whole baking sheet with matzoh, covering all parts. You’ll need to break the big matzoh pieces so they fill the sheet completely, but be gentle, because while they’re perforated, they don’t break evenly.  Obviously if you go with saltines, this won’t be an issue.

In a medium-size pot, melt the butter and brown sugar together, and stir it over medium heat until it begins to boil.  Let it bubble for three more minutes, stirring constantly.  Take the pot off the burner and stir in the vanilla, then quickly pour it over the matzoh. Work fast, because this stuff will set up before you know it.  Try to get it even (use a silicone spatula for best non-stick results), but this is supposed to be a little rustic (code for cutely messy), so it’s ok if it’s not perfectly spread.

Pop the whole sheet into the oven for 15 minutes.  Check in on it every few minutes to make sure it’s not burning – but it is meant to get deeper brown and bubble quite a bit.  Turn down the heat a bit if it looks like things are getting more singed than golden.

Remove from oven and immediately sprinkle with the chocolate chips. Let those hang out for about five minutes, and then once they’re all soft and beginning to melt, spread them evenly across the caramel.  Now let it all have some privacy until the chocolate and caramel sets (this won’t take as long as you think, but if you’re desperate, put the sheet in your fridge (or, if even more desperate still, the freezer) to speed the process up.

If you can part with it, this would make a great addition to that plate of assorted cookies you were planning on giving your neighbors this Christmas, or as a hostess gift for all those parties you’re attending in the next month.  Happy eating!

As promised, here is a great and easy recipe.  Takes about 10 minutes prep time and about 10 minutes rolling them into balls.  They are really uber delicious and would be great after a big meal when you want a small bite of something with your espresso or coffee.  They also taste better after a few days.

Choco-Cahones

6 oz. of vegan chocolate chips

1/2 cup sugar, plus additonal for coating

1/4 cup light corn syrup

1/3 cup Cognac (cheaper Cognac will definitely do)

2 1/2 cups finel ground vanilla wafers

1 cup finely chopped pecans

1.  Melt the vegan chips in the top of a double boiler over simmering water.  Sir in 1/2 cup sugar, the corn syrup, and the Cognac.  Sir in the wafer crumbs and nuts to make a pastelike mixture.

2.  Roll into 1 inch balls.  Roll each ball in additional sugar. 

3.  Store in an airtight container.  They are pretty and improve with age.

An excerpt from Wikipedia about the main characteristics of Kosher Salt:

• Kosher salt has a much larger grain size than regular table salt, and a more open granular structure.
• Kosher salt typically contains no additives (for example, iodide), although some brands will include anti-clumping agents in small amounts.
• Kosher salt gets its name from  its use in making meats kosher, by helping to extract the blood from the meat. Kosher salt has a flat platelet shape and its grains are larger than regular table salt grains, so the salt does not dissolve readily; the salt remains on the surface of the meat longer to draw fluids out of the meat.
• Kosher salt can be used in nearly all applications, but it is not generally recommended for baking with recipes that use small amounts of liquid (wet ingredients). If there is not enough liquid, the kosher salt will not dissolve sufficiently, and this can result in small bits of salt in the resulting product.