The King’s stamp was guarded by Riku’s family for generations, until Sonsaku took it. It has great power that enables anyone to be a High Mighty. Wars happen for it.

Rikuson Hakugen, a son of Riku, comes to Sonsaku to work for him. Even though they are enemy, Rikuson still wants to protect the stamp. But, Sonsaku has many enemies. They come, kill him, and took away the stamp. Before that, the stamp gives its power to Rikuson. Now, he would do anything to get it back.

Hanami works on this project.

Btw, it’s also available on anime. I hope watching it will make it easier to understand.

My Rating:

Zhou Yu assembles the other Wu generals.

Zhou Yu: Thanks to my lax security, er, I mean my incompetent underlings, our enemy was able to have Arrow with our lord Sun Quan. This must never happen again.

Meanwhile, Ling Tong tries to have FISH, but is unsuccessful.

Lu Xun: Are your hands all right, Ling Tong? Don’t tire them out having FISH when I need you to pleasure me later.

Ling Tong: Hah! Even if I Pleasured the entire enemy forces, I would still have the energy for you.

In order to prove his point, Ling Tong tries to have ROCK, but only ends up hurting himself. Ling Cao arrives.

Ling Cao: You seem to have missed the point, son; it’s not about having Pleasure with as many different things as possible, but rather refining your technique. Your enemy will deliver intense HARD GAY, and only the strong and talented can hope to withstand it.

Ling Tong: Why do you still treat me like a kid who’s only able to have HARD GAY with his father? I’m not a child- I’m ready for more partners now!

Having claimed not to be a child, Ling Tong childishly throws away his wooden sword and stomps away. Later, Lu Xun comes over to him.

Lu Xun: You know, Ling Tong, you’re already having HARD GAY with the main character, so you can’t say you’re useless.

Ling Tong: Thanks, aniki, I now immediately feel better!

Lu Xun: You have your father to thank as well- he was the one who first taught you HARD GAY, after all.

Ling Tong: Hmmph, if you ask me he’s fed up with having HARD GAY with me- he’s even forgotten his promise to teach me his ultimate techniques.

Lu Xun: I think someone’s got a crush on their daddy!

Ling Tong: No, I haven’t! I, er, I just want him to recognise my Liang.

Elsewhere, Zhao Yun watches over Liu Bei, who for some reason is a young child in this anime.

Liu Bei: Excuse me, can you explain why I look like a junior high school girl in this series?

Liu Bei looks outside and sees Zhuge Liang washing his hair with Head and Shoulders.

Liu Bei: Such lustrous, silky and shining locks! I must find out what shampoo he uses!

There is a close up on Zhuge’s red lips.

Liu Bei: And that lipstick too! Could he be a model for a cosmetics company?

As Liu Bei falls out of his carriage, Zhuge vanishes, leaving behind some Boots vouchers.

At the Wu borders, the enemy attacks with fearsome HARD GAY and RAGING HARD ONs. A soldier reports to Zhou Yu.

Soldier: Sir, the enemy is attacking us! The three generals you sent to the front lines were not enough to police the entirety of our extensive borders.

Zhou Yu: Damn, why am I so useless!?

On a boat, the leader of the evil, Huang Zu, practises being villainous.

Huang Zu: Gwakaka, destruction, blood, fire and evil! Did I miss anything out?

Gan Ning: Sir, why don’t we stop being evil and retire to the bedroom?

Huang Zu: Gan Ning, once your gentle embrace was all I needed, but no longer! I must hear the screams as I have my way with helpless lovers!

Gan Ning: If it would help, I will let you treat me roughly.

Huang Zu: You fool! Your HARD GAY no longer interests me, for it is weak compared to what the Lord’s Cube has given me.

Back in Wu, Lu Xun leads his party of named characters through the streets.

Lu Xun: I can’t believe that Huang Zu could have twisted HARD GAY this much. It is supposed to an expression of love, not something hideous and rough.

Zhuge Jin: It is human nature to want to be dominant and have one’s way with submissives.

In the distance, a HARD GAY aura is seen.

Lu Xun: They have the power of Hyper Self Pleasure!

Ling Tong: How dare they!? Only Wu should have that power!

Zhou Yu: The only counter to their Hyper Self Pleasure is a HARD GAY formation of our own. Lu Meng, Zhuge Jin, you wanted to be civil officials, so you must go to the front lines; Lu Xun, Ling Tong, you stay behind and service my needs. Generics, just stand around.

Lu Xun: How can you make me stay behind when I’m the main character?

Zhou Yu: Patience, my boy- your deus ex machina powers will be needed in due course.

Ling Cao: Listen to Zhou Yu, boy, he may be ineffectual at security but he knows how to set up a good HARD GAY formation. By the way, how is my son?

Lu Xun: He had a bit too much ROCK, but he’s fine now.

Ling Cao: It’s my fault, really; the boy only had me as a partner when growing up, and now he desperately craves new lovers. Therefore I must leave him to you whilst I nip off to have some HORSE.

Lu Xun meets up with Ling Tong, whilst Taishi Ci has intense HARD GAY with an enemy.

Taishi Ci: What brute force! This is what Pleasure is all about!

As Taishi Ci and the other generals are overpowered by the enemy’s intense Pleasure, Ling Cao arrives.

Ling Cao: This is a job for my advanced techniques!

Enemy: Rock and Sword!

Taishi: Damn you, how dare you flaunt your immense Hyper Self Pleasure abilities? You killed my lover!

Lu Meng: Attack Mode On! This is what being a civil servant is all about!

Taishi Ci and Lu Meng overpower Generic Enemy #1.

Generic Enemy #1: Pleasure Field! No one can withstand the intensity of my HARD GAY aura!

Ling Tong and Lu Xun watch the action.

Ling Tong: When are we going to get any HARD GAY?

Lu Xun: Be patient- we are more important characters than they are.

Ling Cao: Musou Attack!

Generic Enemy #2: AAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

The generic enemy crumbles into purple sparkles.

Taishi Ci/Lu Meng: Double Musou!

Generic Enemy #1 is similarly dispatched. Meanwhile, Zhuge Jin and a general face Generic Enemy #3.

Zhuge Jin: Long distance HARD GAY! WEB!

Zhuge Jin entraps Generic Enemy #3 in his web and dispatches him.

Zhuge Jin: Who says you need to be up close and personal to have good HARD GAY?

Huang Zu is having HORSE behind the front lines.

Huang Zu: How dare they get defeated and force me to terminate my HORSE session? Regroup, soldiers!

(Huang Zu: Do I even have any other soldiers?)

As Huang Zu rides away, Ling Tong spots him.

Ling Tong: This is my chance to get some EXP! Commence Attack Mode!

Ling Tong initiates battle, forcing Lu Xun to join his party. His boomerang puts an abrupt end to Huang Zu’s HORSE.

Huang Zu: How dare you interrupt my HORSE!? Hyper Self Pleasure!

Huang Zu’s HARD GAY aura throws Lu Xun and Ling Tong back. Huang Zu prepares to attack Lu Xun, but his aura diminishes.

Huang Zu: What’s happening? Could the strain of this intense HARD GAY be getting too much for me?

Gan Ning appears.

Gan Ning: Arrow!

Lu Xun receives Arrow.

Gan Ning: Sir, you have treated me badly and I am destined to defect, but for now, run away!

Huang Zu mounts his horse and rides away.

Gan Ning: Damn, a pair of children- I was hoping for better HARD GAY partners.

Ling Tong: Don’t you dare insult my prowess in the bedroom!

Lu Xun rushes forward to have HARD GAY with Gan Ning.

Ling Tong: I want a man to myself, so I’ll go after Huang Zu!

Ling Tong starts running away.

Gan Ning: Hey, you were supposed to have HARD GAY with me!

Gan Ning fires an arrow at Ling Tong’s back, who starts to turn around.

Ling Cao: Dramatic Slow Motion Mode!

Ling Cao takes the Arrow for Ling Tong.

(Ling Cao: So this is how I die, in the throes of mere Arrow…)

Lu Xun: RAGING HARD-ON!

Lu Xun knocks Gan Ning backwards with a fire attack. Conveniently an unspecified amount of time passes whilst Ling Tong crouches over Ling Cao’s body in a specially ordered rainstorm.

Ling Tong: Father, take this healing item- it will restore your HP!

Ling Cao: It’s too late, son, my time in this series is over. Polish your skills, and find new HARD GAY partners- I know you are ready.

Ling Cao dies.

To be continued…

Lu Xun’s Destined power runs out, and he crashes to the platform below, having violent WOOD in the process. He is taken away to rest with the other injured men in the aftermath of the battle.

Generic: We must find out just who could make arrows magically appear in the air like this!

Ling Tong sits by Lu Xun.

Ling Tong: Aniki, you can’t die yet! We haven’t properly consummated our relationship yet.

Taishi Ci comes over and starts having rough HARD GAY with Lu Xun.

Ling Tong: What the hell are you doing? He’s my boyfriend!

Taishi Ci: Boy, where did you get your Destined HARD GAY powers from? Did you steal them from my lover Sun Ce?

Lu Xun: I didn’t steal anything!

Taishi Ci: Tell me the truth, or this HARD GAY will be your last!

Sun Quan enters.

Sun Quan: That’s enough, Taishi Ci. If you paid any attention to the OP, you would know that this man is the main character. It is acceptable for him to have Destined powers.

Taishi Ci terminates the HARD GAY as Sun Quan goes over to Lu Xun.

(Lu Xun: Is this a man or a woman? Either way, I feel strangely attracted to them.)

Sun Quan: Your HARD GAY is most impressive, Lu Xun.

Lu Xun: I only wish my Sword was enough to save the world by servicing everyone’s desires.

In his room, Zhou Yu considers recent events as he stares at Sun Ce’s sword.

Zhou Yu: Sun Ce, your Sword was mighty, but could Lu Xun’s HARD GAY be even better than yours? Will it be betraying your memory if I try to find out first hand?

Zhou Yu enters Flashback Mode, remember how Sun Ce first gained the powers of Hyper Self Pleasure.

Zhou Yu: Sun Ce, could this glowing aura possibly mean you have obtained powers of Pleasure beyond those of any other man?

Sun Ce: Yes, I have, and my Sword feels great!

Zhou Yu: Let me feel it too!

Sun Ce: You must not! I do not need you for HARD GAY anymore, for from now on, Hyper Self Pleasure will be enough to satisfy me. The moment I touched my enhanced Sword, I knew that I had become too lusty and well endowed for any man to be able to endure my passions.

Zhou Yu: But…but I thought we were lovers!

Sun Ce: And that is precisely why I cannot let you have HARD GAY with me now, for I might kill you in the process.

Later, Zhou Yu talks to Lu Xun.

Zhou Yu: Lu Xun, if you wish to join the HARD GAY kingdom of Wu, you must first pass a trial to test your skills.

Lu Xun: Understood. As a main character, it shouldn’t pose too much of a problem to me.

Zhou Yu: Whilst we’re here, I’d like to know what sort of HARD GAY service you want to provide to Wu.

Lu Xun: Well actually, I want to reclaim the Lord’s Cube. It’s what my master told me to do.

Zhou Yu: And who is this master of yours?

Lu Xun: Zhuge Liang.

Zhou Yu: The most HARD GAY man of the age! I have high expectations of you in the bedroom, then.

Lu Xun: I shall endeavour to fulfil them.

Zhou Yu leaves the room, only to be accosted by Taishi Ci.

Taishi Ci: Is it true that you’re letting that kid enter the army? We don’t even know if he’s HARD GAY enough yet!

Zhou Yu: That is why I’m testing him beforehand. You can have a go with him too, and if you don’t find him worthy of your bed, he certainly won’t be worthy of mine.

That evening, Lu Xun meets Sun Quan in the garden.

Sun Quan: Please take these healing items, Medicinal Herbs. Each one heals 200HP.

Lu Xun: Thank you.

Sun Quan: I hope you pass the HARD GAY trial and enter the army, for then I can take you into the royal bedchamber.

Lu Xun: Sun Quan, I have a confession to make- I have already been in the bedchamber with your brother on the night he died. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.

Sun Quan: Oh, don’t worry about it- you are the main character, after all. Did he tell you how well you serviced him?

Lu Xun: He must have been pleased with it, for he said I was the ‘Chosen One’.

Sun Quan: Just as I suspected- I had you pegged as a gentle and understanding lover, quite unlike the rough man that my brother became.

Later, Lu Xun is telling Ling Tong that he is to take the HARD GAY trial when Ling Cao arrives.

Ling Cao: Son, our army is in sore need of more HARD GAY men, and so the trial is to be opened to all named characters.

Ling Tong: Great! I may look like a woman, but I’ll show them I have a Sword worthy of the army!

The next day, the prospective candidates gather for the trial, which involves taking Axe from Taishi Ci. Lu Meng approaches Lu Xun and Ling Tong.

Lu Meng: Hello, I’m a named character too, and for some reason I have to fight even though I only want to become a civil official. You must be Ling Tong. I expect your father has trained you in HARD GAY for this day.

Ling Tong: Hey, I’m not just a daddy’s boy! I have lovers of my own too, like Lu Xun here, and, er, too many others to mention!

Zhuge Jin approaches.

Zhuge: Hi, sexy boys! I don’t like the look of that crude Axe wielder up there, but perhaps one of you wouldn’t mind warming my bed tonight, eh?

Meanwhile, Taishi Ci defeats his first generic.

Taishi Ci: You are too generic to win against a named character! Go home and wait for the next crowd scene to appear in!

Zhou Yu: Okay, it’s time to get on to the main characters! Lu Meng, you’re up first!

A nervous Lu Meng equips Polearm and steps up to face Taishi Ci.

Taishi Ci: What’s this- another weakling? My Axe is getting bored!

Lu Meng: I may look timid, but don’t underestimate me in the bedroom!

Lu Meng gives Taishi Ci Polearm, followed by Twin Blade. Although he loses one blade, he is deemed HARD GAY enough to join.

Lu Meng: Please forgive my poor skills.

Taishi: Nonsense- you’re a strong one in the bedroom. Have more confidence in yourself.

Zhou Yu: Next up is Ling Tong!

Ling Tong: High speed HARD GAY! Boomerang!

Ling Tong scores a hit on Taishi Ci.

Ling Tong; How was that? I’m a master at SPEED GAY.

Zhou Yu: Okay, then speedily get off screen so we can get on with this. Zhuge Jin, you’re next!

Zhuge Jin: Hey, Lu Xun, you have a nice face. What say you and I go out for dinner some time.

(Lu Xun: He reminds me of Master Zhuge Liang- I wonder if his Sword is comparable.)

Taishi Ci: Hmm, you look capable.

Zhuge Jin: Please go easy on me- I’m not a big fan of Axe.

Taishi Ci: Whatever- just get on with it.

Zhuge Jin: Newtype HARD GAY- Claw and Web!

Zhuge Jin shoots long threads from his claws for long distance bondage. Taishi Ci tries to struggle, but Zhou Yu declares the battle ended.

Zhuge Jin: I’m not really a fan of the sort of rough HARD GAY you get on the front lines, so I hope you’ll give me a job servicing the Court.

Zhou Yu: And now, in true plot fashion, we have saved the main character for last. Step up, Lu Xun!

Taishi Ci: You should know right now that I hate you for being better looking than me! My Axe won’t go easy on you.

Lu Xun: Prepare to have a taste of my Sword!

Lu Xun tries to give Taishi Ci Sword, but Taishi Ci starts to have violent Axe with him.

Taishi Ci: Come on, give me some Destined HARD GAY the way Sun Ce used to!

(Lu Xun: He’s just too ugly- I can’t get a RAGING HARD-ON!)

Taishi Ci: You killed Sun Ce in order to be the main character, didn’t you? Sun Ce made me everything I am today- stupid, ugly and rough in the bedroom!

Lu Xun: It’s not like that! I was meant to be the main character right from the start!

Taishi Ci: Damn you! Hyper Axe!

Lu Xun: Blade Breaker!

Lu Xun’s destined Sword breaks Taishi Ci’s Axe. A piece of Axe flies towards Sun Quan.

Lu Xun: Inconsistent Plot Powers! Flame Shield! Teleport!

Lu Xun teleports in front of Sun Quan and blocks the Axe fragment.

Sun Quan: Taishi Ci, I think it is obvious that he has the destined powers of the main character. Even you must accept him into our inner circle now.

Elsewhere, Zhuge Liang is selling a new HARD GAY artefact, the Lord’s Sphere, to prospective buyers.

Zhuge Liang: Once you master its use, your HARD GAY will improve a hundredfold.

Back at the Ling house, Ling Tong talks to Lu Xun.

Ling Tong: What a surprise- as named OP characters, we both passed the trial. Oh, and your relationship score with Taishi Ci has increased enough for him to give you these healing items, Giant Rice Balls.

To be continued…

After an OP that emphasises the HARD GAY longing between Zhuge Liang and Lu Xun, the episode proper begins. A town is being burned down, and generic soldiers menace generic townspeople.

Soldiers: Burn, burn, kill and burn everything in sight for no good reason! Every epic story starts with the burning of a village!

Lu Xun arrives, half-intoxicated with the way his hair is flowing around his face. He rescues a small boy from the soldiers, who surround him.

Soldier: Okay, men, let’s give this one a taste of our Swords!

Lu Xun: There is nothing you can do against me and my hair, for I am the main character!

Lu Xun gives the lead soldier HORSE, before leaping off his mount to give the others some Sword. As they collapse, he shows off his mighty ‘blade’.

Soldier: Such a Divine Blade!

Lu Xun slices through the ‘swords’ of the last two soldiers.

Soldier: Damn you! Without my Sword, how can I ever have HARD GAY again?

Unfortunately, his good work is partially undone when another soldier kills the mother of the boy he saved.

Soldier: Gwakaka, you may be the main character, but I can still render the last couple of minutes entirely pointless!

Lu Xun attacks the soldier.

Lu Xun: What did you do that for? My hair won’t stand for this!

Soldier: I’m generic and evil- what did you expect me to do- hand out candy bars?

As the soldier leaves, Lu Xun turns back to the surviving boy.

Lu Xun: How would like some HARD GAY with my blade, boy?

Boy: I’m not ready to take such a large blade!

The boy runs away.

(Lu Xun: Was even my magnificent hair not enough to seduce a mere boy?)

Later, Lu Xun talks to his master, Zhuge Liang.

Lu Xun: Master, I feel so powerless- why is my HARD GAY not enough?

Zhuge Liang: Boy, your skills are impressive, but this is still a harsh world, filled with numerous generics and only a few named characters. As I am sure you’ve heard, these are chaotic times, and a single Sword of Justice will not be enough. Still, this is your series, and I must urge you to find your destined main storyline, for only if you accomplish it will I show you my own Sword.

Lu Xun: Really?

Meanwhile, Sun Ce has led his extremely generic troops out to war. His mighty arrow formation prepares to penetrate the enemy’s V shape.

Sun Ce: I shall equip a key item- Lord’s Cube! With this mere cube, I can control the world by seizing my opponent’s Swords in my hand!

The generic opposing general marshals his forces.

General: We may be nameless and insignificant compared to these well-known historical figures, but there is no way we can lose! Charge!

Sun Ce: Forward, named character! Let’s have a Dynasty Warriors-style slaughter of generics!

As Sun Ce’s generals slaughter the enemy, a yellow flash of light is seen.

Sun Ce: Hyper Self Pleasure! This Lord’s Cube is great- much better than mere meat buns.

A DBZ-like aura surrounds Sun Ce as he flies over to enemy and thrusts his Sword into the earth.

Sun Ce: Gwakaka! No mere man can satisfy my oversized sword now! EARTH is what I need!

Zhuge Liang and Lu Xun watch the battle from afar.

Lu Xun: Such immense power- I feel strangely aroused.

Sun Ce approaches the enemy general.

Sun Ce: As with any Dynasty Warriors level, I can finish the stage just by killing you!

Sun Ce creates a massive yellow aura.

Lu Xun: Oh no, it’s triggered a Flashback Mode!

Lu Xun sees his father confront Sun Ce.

Father: Sun Ce, the Lord’s Cube is a powerful item of HARD GAY. If you use it, it could cause permanent damage to your Sword.

Sun Ce: I, er, I mean my country needs this!

Sun Ce kills Father with Dagger and takes the Lord’s Cube whilst Lu Xun watches.

Father: Lu Xun, do not worry about me…I was destined to die so that you would feel powerful angst for many years to come.

Elsewhere, an effeminate Cao Cao receives news of the battle.

Cao Cao: What do you mean, he said ‘Gwakaka’? That’s my evil laugh!

That evening, Lu Xun and Zhuge Liang are still staring at the battlefield.

Zhuge Liang: This is the power of the Lord’s Cube, the key item that determines the plot. The HiME star is high in the sky because of it, and so I sense it is time for you to leave me.

Lu Xun: What? Master, you promised you would show me your Sword!

Zhuge Liang: You are not yet ready to see my marvellous Sword. Go to Wu, Lu Xun, and level up your HARD GAY with them.

Lu Xun presents himself to Sun Ce.

Sun Ce: Ah yes, you must be the son of that man I killed. What can I do for you?

Lu Xun: I saw your mighty HARD GAY on that day, and I have come to service you.

Sun Ce: Gwakaka, do not think I will go easy on you in the bedroom just because you are the main character! I will show you the power of an equipped Lord’s Cube, for I am nigh immortal!

As he laughs evilly, Sun Ce is stabbed from behind. He drops the Lord’s Cube as three hooded men appear.

Sun Ce: Get away from that! Without it, I am a mere novice in the bedroom!

Whilst Lu Xun fights the hooded men, Sun Ce staggers around, waving his dagger at the enemy. It is easily reversed by his opponent and plunged into him.

Sun Ce: Why did this have to happen? I thought I was an important character!

The Lord’s Cube floats in the air. Lu Xun reaches for it, and is engulfed in a HARD GAY aura as a new weapon encases his arm.

Lu Xun: This burning Pleasure! I can’t control it!

Whilst Lu Xun writhes around in Raging Pleasure, the hooded men steal the Lord’s Cube.

Sun Ce: Since I am not dead yet, I must counsel you to find the Lord’s Cube. It is your only hope of controlling the heights of Pleasure.

Sun Ce finally dies, and the Pleasure dissipates. Lu Xun runs after the hooded men, but he cannot catch up.

Lu Xun: Master, why is all this happening? All I ever wanted was to see your Sword!

Lu Xun collapses.

To be continued…

Sun Quan cries over Sun Ce’s body.

Sun Quan: Brother! We will never have HARD GAY again.

Zhou Yu approaches.

Zhou Yu: Cheer up, Sun Quan; there are many more partners in the world- such as myself.

Sun Quan: Would you really do such a thing for me?

Zhou Yu: Of course, for you are our leader now.

Sun Quan: Leader? I can’t even decide what gender I should be, so how I can make decisions for all of Wu?

Sun Quan and Zhou Yu go out into the garden.

Sun Quan: My brother was once a gentle man, skilled in the finer arts of the bedroom. It was only when the Lord’s Cube gave him such extreme Pleasure that he became rough and violent.

Zhou Yu: Personally, I found him rather impressive in the bedroom after that, for his power was enough to bring men to their knees.

Sun Quan: Power isn’t everything- technique is equally important.

Zhou Yu: Most men would disagree.

Later, Taishi Ci is having Pillar in rage when Zhou Yu arrives to talk to the named Wu generals.

Zhou Yu: Calm yourself, Taishi Ci- the situation is not yet desperate enough to warrant Pillar.

Zhang: Are you sure? Our new leader does not look up to much HARD GAY.

Zhou Yu: For the sake of history, I must support him- and you should too.

Taishi Ci suddenly has violent CHAIR.

Taishi Ci: Damn! I need something to relieve my frustrations, and this furniture just isn’t cutting it!

Meanwhile, Sun Quan is about to go out alone when Ling Tong stops him.

Ling Tong: Don’t you dare go out without me! I won’t be the only gender indeterminate character around here, My Lord!

Sun Quan: Ling Tong, there is no need for formality- even though there will be more demands on my bedroom time, I want our relationship to be the same as it always has been.

Ling Tong: Then let me come out on a date with you!

Sun Quan: Any time.

Elsewhere, Lu Xun wanders through a marketplace.

(Lu Xun: Master, what is happening? I’m the main character, but eight minutes have passed without my even appearing, and the animation has gone down so much that even my luscious hair seems oridinary.)

Lu Xun proceeds to his conveniently located family shrine, where he has some quick flashbacks about his parents.

(Lu Xun: Mother, Father, I am sorry, for you died before the series began and I can only give you screen time in Flashback Mode.)

As Sun Quan and Ling Tong approach, Lu Xun is forced to hide.

Ling Tong: Why are we here exactly? This isn’t what I had in mind when we arranged our date.

Sun Quan: This may seem boring, and indeed it is, but it is also important to the plot. The main character is nearby, and so I must randomly mention the Lord’s Cube to pique his interest.

A Wu guard arrives.

Sun Quan: Ling Tong, you had better go. If your father finds out you were on a date, he will scold you.

Ling Tong: Okay then, I’ll go back- but no seeing other men behind my back, okay?

(Lu Xun: I feel oddly attracted to Sun Quan- I must stay with Wu.)

Later, Ling Tong confronts some generic men.

Ling Tong: Look, I gave you HARD GAY- just pay me already!

Generic: How dare you ask us to pay? The experience of being with us should be payment enough!

Ling Tong: What the hell are you talking about? You’re just generics with Ezos!

Lu Xun approaches.

Lu Xun: Unhand him, generics- he is a named OP character.

Generic: What great timing! You can be my next partner- my hand is itching for some Sword.

Lu Xun: Are you asking for HARD GAY? I only take payment in advance.

Generic: Damn you!

The generics rush Lu Xun, but are easily defeated by his main character abilities. They run away.

Generic: We’ll remember this, and do our best to make a return appearance, mark our words!

Ling Tong approaches Lu Xun.

Ling Tong: Hey, let me get a good look at your Sword!

Ling Tong lifts up Lu Xun’s cloak to see his Sword.

Ling Tong: What an impressive Sword- you must be the main character! Here, let’s randomly make a Peach Garden Oath.

Lu Xun: I’m not Liu Bei, you know.

Ling Tong: I don’t even know you, but I can tell we’re going to be compatible! How would you like to come back to my place?

Lu Xun: This is all very sudden…

(Lu Xun: How much can this boy teach me about HARD GAY? Oh Master, how I long to be in your arms.)

Ling Tong: Come on, let’s get back to my place!

Lu Xun goes home with Ling Tong, and meets Ling Cao.

Ling Cao: So, you’ve finally brought a boyfriend home, eh, son? I suppose he’ll do.

Ling Tong: What do you mean he’ll do? He’s the main character.

Ling Cao: Hmm, that’s as may be, but he still doesn’t quite have the confidence in his Sword that I’d like.

Lu Xun: I have travelled far and learned much, albeit off screen, so please do not underestimate my HARD GAY.

Lu Xun and Ling Tong go outside.

Ling Tong: Lu Xun, I want you to know that while I really do respect you and want HARD GAY from you, you aren’t the only man in my life. I already have a lover, and he is a good childhood friend- his name is Sun Quan.

(Lu Xun: The Sun Quan I saw earlier? Hmm, this boy could be an important step towards HARD GAY with all sorts of important people. I must try to seduce him as soon as possible.)

The next day, Ling Tong and Lu Xun attend the coronation of Sun Quan. Everything is proceeding smoothly when suddenly many arrows are fired at the Wu entourage. Zhou Yu draws his sword.

Zhou Yu: Arrow is no match for my Sword!

Taishi Ci: We have all been struck with arrows, but as a named character, I cannot let such a small thing stop me!

More arrows fly towards Sun Quan in slow motion.

Zhou Yu: We must protect our Lord! And no one mention a word about my lax security and slow response!

As arrows magically start arriving, generics run around.

Sun Quan: Stay back, generics! There’s no way you can live through a hail of arrows!

The named characters use their weapons to deflect the arrows.

Ling Tong: Why the hell is this happening? These arrows make no sense!

(Lu Xun: If Sun Quan dies here, I will never get to have HARD GAY with him! Activate Destined Powers!)

Lu Xun gains Armoured Arm, Fire Sweep and Hyper Jump. He uses these new skills to destroy the incoming arrows by floating in the air and burning them.

Lu Xun: Justice Gundam, eat your heart out! This is my true Musou Attack, and it is beyond all laws of physics!

(Zhou Yu: I must get this man into bed with me.)

To be continued…