This is just a good moment of television. I am too tired to write anything right now. Thank God for Curb Your Enthusiasm bringing the cast of Seinfeld back together for a reunion show. The season finale was a week ago, and it was amazing. I miss Seinfeld (the show), but also Seinfeld (the man).

]]> http://almabu.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/merkel-stolpert-von-krise-zu-krise/ Fri, 27 Nov 2009 20:37:39 +0000 almabu http://almabu.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/merkel-stolpert-von-krise-zu-krise/

Was wusste sie, seit wann?

Der Kanzlerin kann nicht entgangen sein, in den vier Jahren der vergangenen Legislaturperiode, dass ihr Verteidigungsminister Franz-Josef Jung, ein Danaergeschenk und Freund ihres hessischen Parteifeindes Roland Koch, regelmäßig im Amt überfordert und darum suboptimal war. Trotzdem hielt sie ihn nach dem Massaker von Kundus im Amt, weil eine Ablösung kurz vor der Bundestagswahl sie Stimmen gekostet hätte. Die allgemeine Vertuschung begann. Konsequenterweise – denn es war ja offiziell nichts Schlimmes passiert – durfte Jung nach dem Wahlsieg wieder ein Ministeramt annehmen. Durch den Wechsel in das Arbeitsministerium sollte das Führungsproblem bei der Bundeswehr durch den Strahlemann und Gewohnheitsdynamiker Guttenberg diskret gelöst werden. Dieser stellte sehr schnell (wohl vorschnell?) fest, dass der Bomben-Angriff auf die Tanklaster militärisch angemessen gewesen sei. Dann flog er ab an den Hindukusch wo er sich werbewirksam und vorteilhaft ablichten ließ. Die rechtliche Klärung des Vorfalles versickerte zwischen dem sächsischen Justizministerium und dem Generalbundesanwalt und die Beteiligten mochten hoffen, dass afghanischer Flugsand über die Geschichte wehen würde. Dann nahmen die Medien, speziell die BILD, das Thema erneut auf und stellten die Frage in den Raum, ob Jung wissentlich die Unwahrheit gesagt haben, das heisst Parlament und Öffentlichkeit belogen haben könnte. Im Bundestag geriet die Verteidigung des Ministers zum Fiasko, als er den verdutzten Parlamentariern erklärte, wesentliche Berichte zwar freigegeben, aber nicht gelesen zu haben. Jetzt war er reif und erst jetzt erkannte wohl auch Merkel, dass der Skandal eigentlich ihr Skandal war und sie reagierte schnell um ihre Haut zu retten! Wie Kaninchen aus dem Hut zog sie Zensursula von der Leine und Kristina Köhler, eine junge Hessin wegen dem Regionalproporz, hervor und präsentierte sie als neue Arbeits- und Familienministerinnen. Der Skandal ist damit noch nicht bereinigt, denn jetzt will die Opposition geprüft haben, was Merkel wusste, bzw. ihr damaliger Kanzleramtsminister De Maizière, und ab wann sie dies gegebenenfalls wussten? Wird Merkel beim Lügen ertappt, wird sie erneut ein Bauernopfer bringen, diesmal dann wohl De Maizière! Daneben glimmt die Lunte am Sprengsatz Steinbach munter weiter. Auch hier sind Merkel die Zügel entglitten. Lieber geht sie auf Reisen, hält wohlklingende aber uns trotzdem bindende Reden und macht Symbol-Politik mit Frankreich und Israel. Auch das skandalöse Datenabgreifen der USA bei SWIFT lässt Merkel tatenlos geschehen. Sie hat vor gut vier Wochen einen Eid geleistet, Schaden vom deutschen Volk abzuhalten. Schon vergessen, Merkel?

In case we haven’t made it clear yet, we’re pretty big fans of Curb Your Enthusiasm here at NPI, and we were rather excited for Season Seven. Now that Season Seven has concluded, though, it’s worthwhile to go back and compare our expectations to what we actually got.

Back when F.P., Josh and I went over our expectations for this season, I mentioned that I thought Larry’s relationship with the Blacks would be the main storyline of this season, with a potential Larry/Loretta/Cheryl love triangle developing; the Seinfeld reunion, I said, would be more of a secondary plotline. Well, I was right that the Seinfeld reunion was not the primary story: the show was only central to three episodes, and incidental to two others. But I was way off on the Blacks. Loretta and her family were sent packing in the second episode of the season, “Vehicular Fellatio.”

I can’t say I was upset by this development. I thought there was a lot of potential in the Larry/Loretta pairing, but, as Josh and F.P. each pointed out, there was also the tendency to do trite or obvious jokes with them. Season Six and the first two episodes of this season gave Larry plenty of opportunity to flesh out his dynamic with the Black family. And while the first two episodes were very strong—particularly the second episode (“Do you know what it’s like to have cancer?” “No, but I know what it’s like to be with someone who has cancer.”)—I never really missed Loretta or Auntie Rae during the rest of the season.

What made the decision to ditch the Blacks even more palatable was the decision to keep Leon. Leon’s announcement that he did not plan on leaving with the rest of the Blacks was one of the best lines of the season:

Larry: “So I guess this means you’ll be…”

Leon: “—going upstairs and eating this fucking Chinese food in my fucking room.”

Leon is probably the best character added to the show since Marty Funkhouser, so keeping him around was a smart move. But Leon must have spent a lot of time eating that Chinese food. For some reason, he only appeared in two episodes after the show made a point of keeping him. Hell, Jeff’s daughter had almost as much screen time. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the two episodes in which Leon did appear (“Denise Handicapped” and “The Table Read”) were the best of the season.

“The Table Read” was a particularly brilliant episode, as it gave Leon the opportunity to interact with the Seinfeld cast, and Michael Richards the opportunity to address his controversy. The show handled this rather delicate scenario rather well, showing that Richards was contrite, but willing to poke fun at himself. It also led to one of the funniest scenes of the season, with Leon pretending to be Danny Duberstein.

Besides Leon’s scene with Richards, though, the penultimate episode of the season was strong from top to bottom. It was the rare instance of pretty much every joke working, from Larry getting into a texting relationship with a nine-year-old (“NO I DON’T WATCH WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE! I’M AN ADULT!!!!!!!!!”), Marty Funkhouser’s lurking around the set, to Larry David stand-by jokes about tipping and germophobia. It also gave us the first look at what the fake Seinfeld reunion show looked like.

One of the recurring jokes throughout this season was other characters repeatedly saying that a reunion show could “make up for the finale,” despite Larry’s adamant insistence that the Seinfeld finale was a good one. I’ve always been on the fence with regard to the Seinfeld finale: On the one hand, there were almost certainly funnier ways for the show to end. On the other hand, I feel like there would have been no ending for a show as plotless—even by comedy standards—as Seinfeld that would have satisfied everyone. Most sitcoms have a romantic plot that the finale can conclude (Friends, Cheers, The Wonder Years) or some other natural endpoint, such as a radio show ending (Frasier), kids moving out/away (Fresh Prince, Boy Meets World), or criminal charges being dropped (Arrested Development). Seinfeld, though, was a show about nothing, so having a finale in which “something” happens would betray that ethos. At the same time, though, a finale in which nothing happens would seem anticlimactic.

The Curb quasi-reunion demonstrated the kind of bind a finale/conclusion puts Larry and Jerry in. The plot of the reunion show is George’s attempt to win back his ex-wife, but this is clearly just an excuse for the Larry of the show to write about his own life (as he did by putting elements of his “life” on Curb into the fictional reunion, including the plots of “The Doll” and “The Car Pool Lane” in the Seinfeld script) and cast Cheryl in the show as part of his plot to win back his ex-wife.

I’m quite confident in saying that, were this a real reunion show, I would be pretty underwhelmed. For one, the plot we get to see reveals a Seinfeld universe that is more or less the same and yet jarringly different. Jerry lives in the same apartment and they’re all still friends, but Elaine has a kid? And Jerry was the sperm donor? And George was briefly a millionaire? Even more out of character, the fake reunion included jokes about Bernie Madoff and iPhone apps; one thing that made Seinfeld great was its resistance to doing anything for the sake of appearing “edgy” or “relevant” or “contemporary”—the show just was those things, without taking jokes from the headlines. And as for the romantic plot of the finale, well, Larry probably put it the best in the finale: “We don’t do endings like that. It’s all bullshit. What couples get together at the end?”

I’m not quite sure if this was intentional—the Larry of Curb seemed satisfied with the reunion show—but the message of the finale-within-the finale seemed to be, “See? You wouldn’t really have liked any finale I could have given you.” That doesn’t mean it didn’t lead to some very good Curb moments, though. Adding Jerry into the mix allowed us to see the clear rapport between he and Larry fuction somewhere besides the commentaries on Seinfeld DVDs. The tension between Larry and the rest of cast also led to some great moments, such as Larry calling Jason Alexander’s book (Acting Without Acting) a pamphlet. And even if the episode they were filming wasn’t one I wanted to see, getting a look at what it was like to film and create one of the greatest shows of all time added some excitement to the last two episodes.

The final two episodes also brought the central story of this season—Larry’s attempt to win back Cheryl—to a natural conclusion. For a while, it almost seemed like Larry David’s take on a pedestrian romantic comedy, as Cheryl overhears Larry confess his love for her through her car’s tinted windows (the very windows Larry himself had chided earlier in the episode) and comes to Larry’s house for the finale. But, of course, Larry can’t leave well enough alone, and he interrupts their make-up scene to ask Cheryl to call Julia Louis-Dreyfus and admit that she was the one who left the ring stain on her coffee table. It’s open to interpretation whether or not this is just a return to form for Larry and Cheryl, or if this will be enough to prove to Cheryl that Larry has not changed at all.

Overall, Season Seven started very strong, with the conclusion of the Black storyline and the introduction of the Seinfeld reunion, and ended very strong, with the casts of both shows coming together. Unfortunately, there was kind of a lag in between. The middle of the season featured only one standout episode (“Denise Handicapped”), with two average ones (“Officer Krupke” and “The Black Swan”) and two sub-par episodes (“The Hot Towel” and “The Bare Midriff”); for a show as consistently great as Curb Your Enthusiasm, this was a rather disappointing stretch. I’m going to resist making broad judgments like “Worst Season Ever” or “This Show’s on Its Last Legs,” because Curb is a show that often watches better the second time, and because the last two episodes were so satisfying overall. We probably won’t see Curb on again until 2011 at the earliest, but if and when an eighth season comes around, you can expect another epic NPI preview.

Este domingo 22 de noviembre llegó a su fin la septima temporada de la maravillosa serie Curb your enthusiasm, una temporada esperada por muchos por un detalle peculiar: los actores de Seinfeld se reunirían de nuevo bajo el mando de Larry David, como sucedió hace 20 años.

Luego de 9 temporadas de Seinfeld y 7 de Curb, es claro que Larry David es un genio. Y como alguien suficientemente inteligente, no agotó los 10 episodios de la temporada con Julia, Michael, Jason y Jerry haciendo chistes a diestra y siniestra. De hecho, en la mitad de los episodios no salen ninguno de ellos y, más bien se enfocan en sus más recientes hijos: Cheryl, Jeff, Susie, Funkhouser y Leon, apoyados en las clásicas visitas de Ted Danson y Richard Lewis. Hasta Christian Slater hace una aparición.

La temporada estuvo plagada de momentos memorables como el incidente con Jesús, las pantaletas, la felación en el carro, o la chica en silla de ruedas, pero sin duda la química entre los dos judíos es el mejor regalo que podríamos pedir. Ver interactuar a Jerry y al verdadero George Constanza es increíble ya que la comedia de observación de Seinfeld se complementa a la perfección con el desorden metal de David.

Aún no se sabe si habrá una nueva temporada de Curb, pero con lo que vimos en estos últimos episodios, podemos decir que Larry David terminó de ponerle un bello lazo a su trabajo en televisión. No podría pensar en un mejor final para dos de las mejores series de comedia que se han hecho (diría que las mejores, pero no puedo hacerle eso a Arrested Development) Ahora, es probable que David conseguirá otra idea para una nueva temporada, y seguramente será tan buena como esta.

Esperemos que el dvd con el material extra salga pronto, porque esos detrás de cámara deben ser una joya.

Les dejo de regalo este es un especial de HBO acerca de la temporada, con entrevistas y algunas escenas detrás de cámara.

Y además acá los torrent de todos los episodios para que se hagan un favor y vean esta genialidad de temporada.

EP.1: “Funkhouser’s Crazy Sister“

EP.2: “Vehicular Fellatio“

EP.3 “The Reunion“

EP.4 “The Hot Towel“

EP.5 “Denise Handicapped“

EP.6 “The Bare Midriff“

EP.7 “The Black Swan“

EP.8 “Officer Krupke“

EP.9 “The Table Read“

EP.10 “Seinfeld“

Respect the Wood!!

Lunes 23 de noviembre

HBO ESTE, 18:15 hrs, SKY 450, CABLEVISION 632

HBO OESTE, 21:15 hrs, SKY 453, CABLEVISION 633

Curb your enthusiasm HBO 2009 "the reunion"

Larry se rehusaba por completo a una reunion del programa SEINFELD, pero cuando se da cuenta que esto le puede ayudar a recuperar a Cheryl, accede a la idea. Larry se molesta con Jason Alexander cuando este se rehusa a compartir consejos importantes, así como cuando consiguen boletos para los Lakers.

I gave a panhandler a good laugh today. Not on purpose, mind you. I walked up to the grocery store and he was sitting on the sidewalk holding out his paper cup.

“Hey, how ya doin’?” he said.

“Doing well,” I replied. “How about you?”

“I’ve been better,” he sighed.

And I proceeded to walk up to the automatic exit doors and – as I was entering – they didn’t open, and I almost bonked my head.

He let out a raspy guffaw. “Wrong door,” he said, still chuckling.

“Thanks,” I said.

I also contributed to his cup on the way out, but I bet he’d have preferred a well placed banana peel….

P.S. Speaking of doors … here’s a compendium of every Kramer entrance on Seinfeld in chronological order (credit: tylercreviston). Enjoy!

Omg, omg, omg, The King is back… Skönt att man kan skämta bort sina grejer =) Ser fram emot det avsnittet trots att jag har lite svårt för Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Hade verkligen inte den blekaste om att Michael Richards är 60 bast. Shit…

Detta blir sista inlägget för idag. Nu blir det lite Scrubs sen hoppa i bingan för imorn är det universitetet som gäller.

xoxo

Link http://www.aftonbladet.se/nojesbladet/tv/article6140581.ab

I want to preface this blog hailing Larry David as a genius. I love him. I love him. I love him. I admit I was a bit worried with the plantation genre and the stereotypical ending in Season Six of “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, but he managed to dodge that lingering bullet almost effortlessly in Season 7. Vivica A. Fox’s character Loretta Black  and Larry break up in the second episode of the season, “Vehicular Fellatio” and it had nothing to do with race. Larry was planning on dumping her because she got cancer. He is so unsympathetic and sympathetic you just have to love him.

So Larry’s project in Season 7 is winning his wife’s affection by letting her play the role of his actual wife in a “Seinfeld” reunion season. And everyone is on board. We get to see Julia play Elaine, Seinfeld play himself, Larry’s mirror image George Costanza, Jason Alexander ironically as Larry’s complete opposite….and there is….. Michael Richards….. as Kramer. Ehhhhhhhlllllllllllll.

the pink elephant in the room-racist richards

We know he had to be on the show to fulfill the myth of the reunion season, but there is just this bad taste in my mouth when I see him on screen. I’m sure most of you remember his infamous racial fuck-up. It was a fuck-up so bad it wasn’t even excusable. It was the fuck-up heard round the world, Lexington and Concord style.  Here’s a link to his comedy routine.

Okay I just watched it again I am pissed!!!! Arrggggh! When will it stop? Here are just a few unsettling savory bits:

“Fifty years ago we’d have you hanging upside down from a tree!”

“They’re going to arrest me for calling a black man a nigger?”

“Throw his ass out! He’s a nigger, He’s a nigger, He’s a nigger!”

oh LAWD

After a while the black man he was talking to called him a cracker, which I discuss in my earlier blog, is embedded with a notion of racial superiority on the part of the white person who is being called said name.

I’m not really sure what pissed Michael Richards off so much. But I am gonna assume it was some loud mouth Negroes, yeah I said it, talking too much during a performance which is why he told them to shut up. And yes, really my brothers and sisters, you know who you are, you need to stop talking through movies, it’s annoying. I wanted to cut a bitch the last time I was in the theater.

But there is no reason to say what Richards said. I mean come on. A good shut the fuck up would have sufficed. He didn’t need to offend everyone in the place. And he forgets, black folk actually paid to see him perform. I mean can you imagine, taking your lovely black boyfriend or girlfriend on a date to a comedy show, and thinking wow, we get to see the guy who played Kramer, I’m so excited, and while you’re sipping on your Long Island Iced Tea you get taken back to 1865 with some white dude talkin bout hanging niggers from trees. NIET KIEL DAWG.

Hence, the icky taste in my mouth. But in the last episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry addresses the issue of harboring a known racist on the show. He does this in three ways.

1. Michael Richards looks like crap compared to everyone else in the show. Even though everyone has aged, they still look the same. Maybe they have led healthy lives, maybe it’s the make-up job, but clearly they skipped over Richards. Additionally, the hair that made Kramer so noticeable is almost all but gone. Larry wants him to look that way. By presenting Richards as visually unattractive, his appearance clearly faltering since his racist comedy routine, Larry is reflecting on the accepted myth that sin is written on the body. (A topic heavily discussed in Oscar Wilde’s Picture of Dorian Gray and The Libertine)

if you hadn't been fucking all those whores, maybe God would have spared you leprosy

2. To reify this idea, Larry also gives Richards a life threatening illness, Groat’s disease(a fictional illness) that may cause his death. He is literally paying for the sins externally and internally that he committed when he pledged his allegiance to supremacy on that unforgettable day.

3. He cleverly has a scene with Leon and Richards, in which Richards has a valid reason to be pissed at Leon (he lied about his identity and duped him into giving $200,000). While he is screaming a crowd of people are watching Richards yell at this black man and we laugh because ironically he an actual reason to be pissed. It is really funny and makes it a bit more acceptable for Richards to be part of this season.

However, I recently read a blog, by the African American Environmentalist Association-Hollywood, and while I agree Larry made a smart move in the “The Table Read”, it really doesn’t redeem or reform Richards as a person. It only redeems Richards within the fictional world of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” that Larry himself has created. And then we have to think, well if Richards’ previous act of racism had to be addressed to us, how will it be addressed to the fictional audience that would be watching the Seinfeld reunion season? And, ignoring the fact that humor on a fictional show doesn’t excuse an act of racism in the real world, we were too busy laughing at the scene to deconstruct what it fails to address. When Richards says “if there were any word i could use to show how angry i am…,” David seems to be juxtaposing valid reasons to be pissed off (leon lying/getting 200g) against using racial slurs without a valid reason. But is there ever a valid reason to use racial slurs? And I say valid reason cuz clearly the heckling at his comedy show did not warrant “nigger,nigger, nigger”, but because Leon lies it might? And are we ignoring the real irony in this scene, that Richards could have “slipped up” again because Leon did what a white man told him, and most likely Leon had to lie because his livelihood (living in Larry’s mansion) depends on it?

Larry also depicts this representation in “The Anonymous Donor,” Season 6, when a dry-cleaner loses his baseball jersey. He then has Leon approach a man wearing the similar jersey(we don’t know if it is Larry’s or not) and from then on the white man Leon has robbed may engage in stereotyping of black men as criminals. But the crazy thing about it is that Leon himself didn’t care about the jersey, he stole the jersey because Larry, the white male, wanted him too. Is Larry making a statement, by having Leon bear the brunt of his iniquities, that blacks are unfairly stereotyped not by their own acts, but the acts that are guided by the white man. Basically, are whites are hating blacks because of whites. I mean that is why Richards gets pissed at Leon, Larry doesn’t take the rap for the incident, at least we don’t get to see it.

If so, whoa Larry, and Bravo, Bravo. I now love your show even more, can we be best friends?

Of course, it is not up to Larry David to rectify Richards fuck-up. He shouldn’t have to alter his whole season cuz Richards can’t keep his mouth shut. I think David makes amends to his avid black fans by at least addressing the issue, and I thank him for it. But Richards has a long way to go. A fictional confrontation on the issue will not redeem his racist soul. And although most black folk are forgiving, sorry Richards, you don’t get my vote.

Thoughts?

P.S.

J.B. Smoove on the scene with Michael Richards:

“I can’t see someone being so upset with it that they’d never want him to be on TV again. You can pass the blame along, or you can accept your responsibility, and he accepted his actions. Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.”

There was a time, boys and girls, when I would rush home from school to watch a game show.

No, not “The 25,000 Pyramid,” my favorite game show ever. Not “Card Sharks” or “The Joker’s Wild” or “Sale of the Century,” all awesome in their own right (whatever happened to Summer Bartholemew, anyway?”

I’m talking about “Remote Control,” still the single-best thing MTV has ever foisted upon our popular culture. For those of you too young to remember (and I weep at that notion), “Remote Control” was a 30-minute trivia contest about music and pop culture. There were fantastic categories like “Sing Along with Colin,” “Inside Tina Yothers” and “Dead or Canadian” (where you had to guess, of course, if someone was dead or Canadian).

There was the wry humor of Colin Quinn. The saucy sexpot assistant, Kari Wuhrer (I totally loved her and her 80s outfits). The questions were hilarious, and when the contestants, sitting in oversized BarcaLoungers, were eliminated, they would be plunged backward through the set. Denis Leary and Adam Sandler, very early in their careers, were briefly on the show, too.

And of course, there was Ken Ober, the host. It often took my teenaged brain a few seconds to get his jokes, but he was funny, smart, and always kept the show moving. Seriously, “Remote Control” was awesome, and I’ve often wished the series would come out on DVD.

It’s been a rough year for us Generation Xers. First John Hughes, and now this. Ken Ober has died, at age 52. I haven’t thought about Ober in years, but it still makes me sad that he died. He was a very happy memory from my childhood, and now he’s gone.

Go ahead, people of my generation. Watch the “Remote Control” clip above. It’ll make you feel better on this Tuesday.

***OK, I’m not 100 percent sure this is real, in fact it’s probably not, but it’s one of the funniest damn things I’ve read in a long time. Here’s the background: Ireland and France are scheduled to play a World Cup soccer match soon in Ireland. So a guy from the French consulate writes a letter to his counterpart in Ireland, asking if a luxury box could be made available for Nicolas Sarkozy, who wanted to attend the game.

And from there, the hilarity and misunderstanding ensues. Seriously, this is awesome.

**Finally, a few words about Sunday night’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” I’ve been hard on the show before, because I felt like the last two seasons just weren’t that funny. But this year has brought several fantastic episodes, and Sunday’s took the cake.

I was wondering all season how they were going to work Michael Richards’ real-life racist rant into the Kramer storyline on the “Seinfeld” reunion, and never in a million years did I think it would present itself like it did. The scenes with Marty Funkhauser were, of course, wonderful, and the African-American, Leon acting like a Jew named Duberstein (“of course you’ve got to re-charge the mitzvah!”) was sublime. I’m glad Richards had the guts to confront the real-life demons in his life. Or maybe Larry David said he couldn’t possibly ignore it and just put it out there.

The final scene? I won’t ruin it for you. Go watch it. Seriously. Brilliant stuff.

This show is funny, but I don’t know if it is funny enough to make me like Michael Richards again?!?!?

Google Image search for Weekend brings up this.

I remember way back when I was in college how glorious Saturdays seemed. They were the day after Friday, which was an awesome day in and of itself because it meant that tomorrow was Saturday, which meant there was nothing to do but sleep in and eat and nap and watch TV and eat some more. (Unless it was the spring, when we had games every weekend, or the fall, when we had practice every weekend.)

Well, here’s basically what my day’s been like today.

(Be warned, it’s boring, so don’t read it.)

This Saturday technically started yesterday, when Dan, the excellent sports editor for the Wilmington Star-News, called and emailed asking if I could cover something today. I didn’t really want to, but then, I’d bailed out of covering a UNCW soccer game Friday night, which cost me some cash, and in all good economic sense I couldn’t turn down two assignments on one weekend. Plus this one paid extra because I got to take the picture to run with the story, too.

The Saturday started fairly normal. We slept until 11, which was awesome. And really, really lazy, but it was still awesome. Then I woke up and transcribed part of an interview I really shouldn’t have spent so much time transcribing. I won’t tell you what story it was for, but it was one of the more boring interviews I can recall ever having done.

I did that for 20 minutes or so, then I got hungry so I woke Katie up and we ordered Andy’s. It probably wasn’t really in that order, but I’m hungry now, too, so I’m starting to rush through this so I can go eat leftover Andy’s.

On the way to and from Andy’s I got to talk to best friend Brandon, with whom I haven’t talked in too long. Then Katie called and needed brownie mix from the grocery store, so I stopped to pick that up. No, wait, that’s not right. That’s not until later.

Anyway, I got home and we ate our Andy’s — I had the Andy’s cheeseburger, she the chicken philly or whatever it’s called and however it’s spelled, plus fries and Mountain Dews for both of us — while watching Family Guy.

I swear, every time I watch that show I lose brain cells, and every time, I wonder why in the world I put myself through that.

Anyway, then I called this guy who wanted to buy that surfboard I blogged about a couple weeks ago. I lost some money on it but it’s finally out of the house, which automatically made this day a 9. On the way home, Katie called, needing brownie mix for her small group dinner thing tonight.

Then I got home and showered because I had to go cover this thing, which would actually be kinda cool. It was an autograph session for the Willie Stargell Foundation charity golf tournament. There were about two dozen celebrities there and I recognized like, half of them. The story will be in Sunday’s StarNews.

I was at that thing for about an hour and a half, interviewing people and taking pictures. I met some characters, there, let me tell you. It was very saddening, seeing guys walk through there with backpacks stuffed with memorabilia and no wedding rings on their fingers. Good thing there were a bunch of kids there too. I remember meeting BJ Surhoff at a thing once. I don’t remember what the thing was or how old I was, but I was young enough to be completely wowed by the guy and I didn’t even know quite who he was, except that he was sometimes a catcher and sometimes an outfielder and I really liked playing catcher in our backyard baseball games. Thus, I made him my hero for an hour.

I saw that look on plenty of those kids, that lo

Gator Rivers. A long time ago.

ok that I must have had. They’re frozen, getting hit in the face by no-look passes from “Gator” Rivers, a former Harlem Globetrotter. It was great.

Anyway, then I came home around 4, but on the way Katie calls again, needing eggs to make the brownies. She thought she was being a horrible wife but I just thought she was being cute and whatnot, especially how she kept promising to make it up to me. I didn’t argue with that.

Thus far the day’s about an 8, knocked down a notch by the knowledge that I’m going to spend the next hour or two figuring out how to make the guys with the backpacks and the celebrities and the kids all mesh into one interesting story.

Then I get home and give Katie the eggs, then spend the next couple of hours — give or take a few minutes here or there for various reasons ! — languishing over this story. I think that anguish came in part because of the recent comments I’ve been getting on the blog by people informing me of how bad I am at writing about proving God’s existence based on writing about demons or something like that. Which is weird because that’s not what I was really after, anyway, but I let things get under my skin sometimes that I shouldn’t.

Man this post is getting long.

OK, so eventually I’m like, dude, it’s a recap of an autograph session, not an epic story that will ring through the ages. An autograph session, with ringless guys developing scoliosis because of their camping sized backpacks filled with baseball cards and pictures. (OK, that’s a slight exaggeration….it was just a normal backpack filled with cards and pictures. And bats.)

So I crank it out, read over it, send it along, then edit a couple pictures I took and send those along too. Mostly of Gator Rivers playing with the kids since he was the only guy there who actually moved around. Cool guy.

Then I finished transcribing the long, boring interview. Somewhere during that time Katie left. I don’t really remember when.

Then I finished the interview and came here to blog about my day instead of studying more for the GRE, because I am a loser. Although now I need to go do that studying thing. And some pushups. Kramer — my older younger brother — was punching me last night while we were at Logan’s — the younger younger brother — first game with Greenfield. Kramer called me flabby. I am getting flabby.

Hence, I’m off to do pushups.

(i-d) Fabián Landívar, Abe Suing y Aharon Yablon.

El jueves en la tarde, en atención a la invitación de Telecuador, asistimos a la presentación de Kramer Electronics – Latin America.

TELECUADOR - KRAMER

En el evento nos encontramos varios compañeros de la UTPL de VIA, Centro de Convenciones y Videoconferencias, pudimos saludar a Fabián Landívar, Gerente de Telecuador y conocer a Aharon Yablon, Director de  Kramer Electronics – Latin America.  Recibimos una sólida explicación de las “soluciones creativas, rentables y con un valor añadido para procesado de señal de audio video y señales gráficas” pero sobre todo aprovechamos para invitar a Aharon Yablon y Fabián Landívar a conocer nuestras instalaciones, nos dejaros buenas pistas de cómo y por dónde crecer para atender el desarrollo académico de la Universidad Católica de Loja.  Mención aparte debo hacer al brillante desempeño de Víctor Hugo Calle que se destacó en el seminario con sus respuestas oportunas y doctas a cada reto-consulta del instructor.

Visita de Aharon Yablon

- One month ago: one pass from a win over Southern Cal. Today: complaining about cheap shots from Navy. How the mediocre have fallen.

- Last night’s Volunteer Prius crime spree has prompted a name change to college football’s most prestigious off-season award. EDSBS’ Orson Swindle has announced that . . .

The Fulmer Cup is now “The Tostitos Fulmer Cup, Sponsored By Lane Kiffin and Cash Money Records.”

Just a guess, but we think Phil Fulmer is more of a Doritos kind of guy.

- And finally . . .  CAT FIGHT!!

Jeff Pearlman captures the bane of sportswriters’ existence in his latest blog. You can visit that link or read the part that inspired this post of mine below.

Growing up, I loved two things more than anything else: writing and sports. As my younger brother Kramer (yes, Kramer) will tell you, I sucked at sports until around junior high, so when I was at my youngest, writing was my escape. I’ll never forget creating the Super Dude series while grounded for a week for some sin I don’t even remember now.

As it came time to decide where to go for college and what to get a degree in while I was there, we decided on Division II Barton College because Coach Wilkinson offered me a walk-on role and the school had a mass communications department with a concentration in print/electronic journalism. Having read Sports Illustrated all those years, I decided that’s what I’d become. A writer for Sports Illustrated.

While in college, I got some awesome breaks via my adviser, Rick Stewart, who still teaches there today. He hired me, at 20 years old, as the sports editor for his four newspapers. Everything was lining up; I was getting all the training I could ask for; the path to my future couldn’t have been more clear.

Then the print industry went from around average to floundering with the Internet revolution and the Hurricane Katrina of economic storms.  And I began realized that I loved writing, not just sports writing.

So what I’m trying to do with my life is put myself in a position to write real stories, not game stories. I’ll cover games when I cover athletes, sure. My goal in life, though, is to become a full-time author and freelancer. I would love to do what Pearlman does for a living. I have a different writing style from his, and I’m writing some fiction, but as far as life tracks, his and my goal* aren’t too different.

*Speaking of which, part of that goal includes becoming a college professor so I can have a steady economic foundation from which to pursue my writing. This means I must take the GRE on November 17, as I’m applying to UNC-Chapel Hill’s mass communications masters program in December. The GRE looks a lot harder than I originally thought. If you’re the praying type, please pray for me? Thanks.

Part of Pearlman’s blog:

Sports locker rooms suck. They truly, truly, truly, truly suck. First off, they smell worse than you can imagine. Second, 99 percent of the athletes don’t want to talk to you and, even if they did want to talk to you, have nothing interesting to say. And, lastly, the whole thing is bulls•••, and anyone who has done this long enough knows exactly what I’m talking about. It’s the dumbest ritual I’ve ever seen, and it goes exactly—exactly—like this:

(We’ll use a losing locker room as an example here)

Step One: The media members charge into the locker room. Half-naked players pretend they’re very upset after a loss, so they speak in hushed tones, don’t make much eye contact, etc. When a needed player looks up, all the media folk charge over. This generally included anywhere from three to seven cameramen (with their perfectly coiffed reporters), a couple of web geeks, three or four radio guys, the, oh, four beat writers, four more columnists and a couple of out-of-town writers. The TV guys usually go first, followed by radio, and their questions always—always—suck. Sometimes, they’re not even questions.

• “Tough game out there. Talk about the fourth quarter …”

• “That throw in the first quarter looked like a miscue between you and Bobby …”

• “Was this a statement game?”

After approximately 10 minutes of that mind-numbing inanity, the TV and radio boobs seek out, as a group, the next brain-dead player to accost with stupid questions they hear week after week. The print guys stick around, hoping to get so-and-so player to open up a bit now that it’s just them, a pad, a pen and a small little recorder. Back in the 1990s, this worked. Now, thanks to media training and warnings not to trust the press, it rarely does.

Step Two: After 20 minutes of nonsense, a team media representative hollars, “Time to wrap it up guys!” At this point, we scramble to any lingering players, hoping to snag one last goodie. A tight end might tell you he thinks things will turn around next week. A quarterback will suggest the offense can only improve. A linebacker farts in your direction, then laughs.

Step Three: I leap from a bridge.

From my understanding, someone told her it looked like she was carrying imaginary suitcases when she walks and that’s when all hell broke loose. Seriously though, has that girl lost her mind? She makes Raquel Welch look pretty, pretty soft.



I feel kind of guilty writing a recommendation for Seinfeld, just like a felt a little bit guilty writing something about Abbey Road: it just seemed self-evident. In fact, I don’t think there was ever a conversation that mentioned the word “Seinfeld” and “Television” and didn’t have the word “good” or some synonym. Basically, it’s understood that Seinfeld is one of the best shows ever.

This show basically did everything right. It was hilarious, there were amazing situations, it was completely self-aware (but not in an obnoxious “breaking the fourth wall” way; one example is the series of episodes in which they were trying to start a show). All of the characters are ridiculous and three-dimensional, I guess I can say this means that the acting was always impeccable. And this show was able to portray caricatures effectively and in an entertaining manner, but most importantly with a deal of restraint that stops the show from having a worn-out exaggerated feel. They were able to tread this delicate balance, and tread it effectively, unlike other shows that deal with the same subject matter (Dilbert comes to mind) in which the characters blatantly state their stereotypes.

I don’t really know what else to say about this show, except that it is really funny. It’s also refreshing because it deals with everyday situations that make our lives interesting; instead of focusing on the same overused metanarratives that other shows subscribe to (are they going to end up together?). This isn’t a show about that stuff, it’s about the consequences of taking a dollar out of a tip jar so that the pizza guy can see that you put it in. And when they deal with romantic issues, it’s a wedding called off because of the incorrect glue used on the wedding invitation envelopes.

If you need a place to watch episodes, you can go to http://quicksilverscreen.com/videos?c=347 or just search Seinfeld episodes on google. And if any of you find a better place to find more Seinfeld episodes, please post a comment with the url.

Judgement Day.

The pathology results of the 13 skin cancers I had carved from my hide last week all came back today, and just as I suspected, none of them were actual skin cancers. Six of the sites were just smudges of dirt, 3 were specks of spaghetti sauce, 2 were splotches of Taco Bell Fire Hot Sauce, one was a small piece of crystallized corned beef hash, and one was listed as “left pinkie toe”. Upon reading that, I ripped off my left sock and sure enough…no pinkie toe. No wonder I have been walking tilted at an angle in circles all week!

OK so maybe I exaggerated just a little. All the pathology results came back as Basal Cell Carcinomas
but I had to frantically try to think up some rational way to explain away the fact that I woke up this morning without a pinkie toe. My loving wife will have a field day with this little nugget as she is always quick to remind me that I would lose my own head if it was not attached to my body. I spent the better part of the morning scouring through the bedding and under the bed but could find no sign of the toe. How in the world does a pinkie toe just up and run away anyway? I somehow suspect that one or more of our Obese House Cats are to blame as I have noticed they tend to drool quite a bit as I shuffle past with bare feet. I am going to try to play this one low key and will pray that the wife does not notice the missing toe anytime soon. I just hope that someday a week or two from now she is not rifling through the fridge looking for a snack and then starts screaming “OH MY GOD!!! WHO THE HELL PUT A PINKIE TOE IN THE REFRIDGERATOR AND DID NOT PUT IT IN A BAGGIE OR TUPPERWARE CONTAINER!!!”

Somewhere in New York City, Cosmo Kramer is recounting the pinkie toe incident to George Costanza and Jerry Seinfeld…

Kramer: Yeah, I found the toe. So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice and took off for the hospital.

George: You ran!?

Kramer: No I jumped on the bus. I told the driver “I got a toe here buddy, step on it!”

George: Holy cow!

Kramer: Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost the idiot guy in Texas his pinkie toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, “Where do you think you’re going, Cracker Jack?” I said, “Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy – ” – knocked him out cold!

George: How could you do that!?

Kramer: Then everybody is screamin,’ because the driver, he’s passed out from all the commotion…the bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I’m drivin’ the bus.

George: You’re Batman!

Kramer: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin’ me! So I’m fightin’ him off with one hand and I kept drivin’ the bus with the other, y’know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door with my foot, you know – at the next stop.

Jerry:(Incredulous)You kept making all the stops!?

Kramer: Well, people kept ringing the bell!

George: You did all of this for a pinky toe?

Kramer: Well, it’s a valuable appendage.

Jerry: What the hell kind of Idiot loses a Pinkie Toe anyway? What a loser!

Our GOIP Bot 3000 has just discernmentalized a wonderful list outlining some of our Master Plan—here it is:

End Medicaid, Medicare and the VA. This was a liberal plan to simply redistribute wealth from the rich to the needy. These plans are both expensive and unsustainable and the time is now to cut the plug. If you are elderly or a veteran, then you are on your own. If you have enough wealth, then go get your own health plan. However if you cannot afford a health plan, then consider yourself a leach on society. You are dragging down this great country.

End Public Schools. Obama just got on television and delivered a message to all the children in public schools in the nation. How wrong is that? The president has no business talking to our children. All he wants to do is spread his liberal agenda to their innocent minds. There is only one solution to all of this. All children should be home schooled. Also the wealthy can send their children to expensive private schools, but the inexpensive public schools are just a burden on society.

End Unemployment Insurance. Unemployment insurance is just wrong. It is redistribution of wealth in its purest form. I am supposed to give my hard earned tax money to some retard that can’t even hold a job? Give me a break. They can always get a job at McDonald’s or picking up the trash. This is just a way of rewarding laziness, and it needs to come to a full stop, now!

Private Roads. Where in the constitution does it say that our government is responsible for creating roads? No where. All roads should be private, and the better road the more it should cost. There are plenty of poor people that may not be able to afford to travel on the better roads, and I have one response. Tough crap! Now that you don’t have unemployment insurance, maybe you will have more motivation to finally get a job.

End Air Traffic Control. Do we really need our government controlling our air ways? The entire system is probably corrupt, and should be eliminated. Liberals will argue that air traffic control makes air travel safer. How stupid! All it does it drives up the cost. We need to make air travel more affordable and the first step is eliminating air traffic control.

Burn Down All The Libraries. I know one thing for sure. Libraries would not exist if not for liberals. Now that Obama’s approval ratings are falling off a cliff, let’s get rid of one of the bastions of liberalism, libraries. That will show them. If people want to read, then they can buy their own books. Why can’t liberals understand that simple fact?

No More Taxes. The beautiful part of my plan is that we no longer need to pay taxes. Even some good conservative people like to read a good book once in a while, but is it really worth our freedom? I for one am going to stop paying taxes immediately and then hopefully the Chosen One, Barack Hussein Obama, will follow my simple plan to eliminate socialism in our lifetime. I encourage all my readers to stop paying taxes as a protest to socialism.

We  would also like to add in outlawing Sunday School as Sunday School is a communist plot to decieve God’s True Elect into accepting socialism—for Sunday School was invented by ‘Robert Raikes, editor of the Gloucester Journal and (a theological liebral), who saw the need to prevent children in the slums descending into crime.’  This is nothing but the false gospel of socialism and ‘that old line of liberalism’ otherwise known as the Social Gospel as Saint John MacArthur clearly exposes:

We also plan on making Fundamentalist Calvinistic Christianity the only legalized religion and all others illegal.