Some more new games im making.

A year ago, I didn’t think I would become an iPhone developer, or create my own indie record label, but my mother, random people, even known people other than me think that I will eventually become successful, but I feel like my time is running out to do that.

My first iPhone game came out with another one up for revew, which is a little beatmaking app on the side. My mom is proud that I made an app, but sometimes I feel like that I can’t be happy for myself because soon after, something bad happens. Even now, I try not to gloat about making music or apps, but what also conflicts with that is, like music, making games need that marketing push, and I’m a shy guy at heart, but I had to learn how to put on that “mask”; to move out of my own comfort zone in an effort to get my name and products out. It’s hard, especially when most of the time, whether it is a forum thread on a blogsite or a new song, no one feels that it is important or worth it to listen.

What is worse is that If my apps don’t sell, I feel like I failed my self and my family. We are not exactly middle class, and because of most money problems, we could never have anything stable in terms of income and security. Shit, I’m turning 19 on Tuesday, and I’m blogging on my iPod on a bed that I share with my brother, in a room that I share with my mom (yeah, it’s a one bedroom apartment). I only want my games to sell for three reasons:

1. To help my family- I hate seeing my mother not being able to pay rent sometimes, so I became a dev to try to bring an extra outlet of income to our table.

2. Fund my music- I’m a rapper, and I have a built in studio with old mics and stands and stuff, and If you really listen to my stuff, you’ll find that I’m quite talented, and it’s the only hobby I love more than making games. Until I start doing shows and stuff, I need to buy PR and managers and press kits etc.

3. Myself-for some reason, I have a pessimistic view on things that I have doubts about, and having an app that might not sell as well as I hoped might really mess me up.I don’t wanna fail. If I do, I might fail at being a rapper too, and being a dev. It’s like I’m putting everything into this moment, but I don’t want to do that. I just gotta keep making quality games and music and hopefully, with gods help, life would turn around for me.

IDK. My app might sell well, or it might not sell much, but I should be proud that I did this, and to never ever quit.

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First video where I had to change scenes. Enjoi.

Stokes Croft long ago became a bit of a Dean Lane, pointless keeping on top of with a blog, because it all changes so fast. It’s slowed down a bit recently though, and it’s been a while, so time for a bit of a snapshot as of the last week.

These boards next to the Junction are still getting some good work on them, will be a shame to see them go once the development behind them (where Mary’s shop was) finishes. Would hazard to put a name on them, but after last time, anyone want to confirm?

Above that, this piece will be passing some people by at the moment, but should look great once the scaffolding’s down. 3Dom and Voyder if memory serves.

Here’s a bit of a closer one.

The Kai et al Limited Press piece looks pretty much done now. Nice big advert for them on a main road. Shame about the scaffolding still obscuring it, guess it’s a security thing?

Further up, these boards have needed redoing for a while, especially now a bit of boards been turned round or replace on them. Someone’s done a quick character on the gap recently though, shouldn’t think it will take long for them to get redone fully.

Interesting in a way, Stokes Croft is doing really well as a result of all the work that’s being ut up around it, yet a lot of it depends on the place being run down and shops covered with boards. If the project carries on working and getting more people and businesses coming back to the area, then it will start destroying its own space for pieces and productions. It risks being a literal victim of its own success.

Incidentally, one other thing that’s gone up round the place recently are police/community safety signs warning people about CCTV, violence, and arrest amongst other things.

Photo: PRSC

Hardly cheery messages for an area that’s trying to improve its reputation as a nice place to visit right now, and according to PRSC they were put up without community consultation. Apparently a local councillor, Jon Rogers, is already on the case, but if you want to see them taken down too, it wouldn’t hurt to email him on jon.rogers AT bristol.gov.uk.

New Video. Directed By my brother kenneth.

So far, this week has gone good. I’ve been writing mad lyrics and composing lots of beats for my album. Trying to go the indie route of music is going to be so frickin’ difficult, but I’m sure it will pay off in the long run.

On another note, my game is going good. Now, I just need to assess some music to see what kind of sound I want. I want everything to sound correct when I make this, so it can go live in the app store.

stay bloggin…

Some footage.

Haven’t posted shit in a while, well here I am. So far, one of my games for the iPhone and iPod touch is almost done, and when it’s done, I hope it’s a hit, so I can help my family and market my music, but I’m gonna risk alot by putting in 40% of my financial aid, so I pray all this works out.

As for music, I feel i’m getting better everyday, I’m even at a point where I don’t get writers block anymore, I just blaze through it and it’s fire. I’ve also been making less beats, but I want to focus on game development and school.

Sorry if this sounds like a boring post, but I feel good. A couple days ago I felt like killing myself over the natural stress of life and the bullshit that came with it, but I feel better now. Now my problem is trying to get this girl in my class to see me as more than another student, but that’s another story to tell…

Stay bloggin…

Girls. This is not an easy topic to begin with. I dont know. My mind is always constantly thinking of what they think about. Does she like me, do I like her, does she think I’m creepy or a loser, is she interested in me?

For some strange reason,which I do not know why, I am able to talk to random girls and even regular people just by being nice and courteous and complimenting them. but when it is a girl i want to have potentially be my main exclusive girlfriend, suddenly i freeze up, and I used to be a type of guy like that, but I am not afraid to go up to a girl and compliment her on her looks. but something like this always happens…

there was this girl i had in my college class, a latin chick, and she was amazing. if she wasnt two seats behind me, i swear i would stare at her all day. i am getting off topic…well anyways, i sorta stare at her now and then, and now she started to take notice, but now when i saw her, we locked eyes, and i honestly could not move my eyes away from her sight. she kept looking back, so the only thing i could do is kinda give her a little smile, and she smiled back and kinda blushed. i couldnt stop thinking about that moment…

Today, now she was kind of expecting me to do something, but i was so freaked out, but i couldnt just now do anything i had to at least get her name.after class, i actually went up to her and said… well, i could barely say anything. I was literally speechless. All I could do was say hi, and before i could say something dumb, she told me her name and she was actually kind of flattered that i actually went up to her to meet her.i even told her i get nervous around cute and beautiful people like her, and she smiled and was kind of happy. i hope i didnt look like a fool to her, because i really kinda want to see where this goes, and im hoping it goes well. maybe i can open up and be funny and shit…

stay bloggin… ;P

When I went into music, I thought I would be signed and have cars and all that other shit that supposedly comes with having made music and stuff. nowadays, it is extremely hard for a rapper to get noticed, mostly because there are too many artists trying to get noticed (whether they are weak or sick), the recession, or just trying to get a label or A&R rep to see you. Sometimes, I honestly think that i should just quit and stop trying to rap. a few days ago, I was feeling it again.

While surfing worldstarhiphop.com, I came across this video of a girl that used to go to my school. Turned out that the video is super high quality, and it was produced by DJ Skee for SkeeTV. From what i remember, this girl didnt rap at all, she maybe sung a bit, but didnt rap. The song itself was weak as hell, it was a simple jerk song called “my cookie” and her little girl group is called Baby Dollz. How could they get so big so fast, while all I could do is record some amateur-quality songs from garageband and once in a while put it on myspace. It really makes me wonder if or should I go into a fad like jerkin’. It really feels like im not moving at all, and i know im a good rapper, a great rapper in fact.

I dont know, I have some soul searching to do. I want to just change my style of music for the better, but once on a while I get to thinking, whats the point. Why should I make music in an effort to make people think differently, to think sad, to think happy, to think of music as another vent of emotion and feeling that is more than just rhyming words and couplets?

I honestly thought that the world was not a nice place. I thought it was a silent and unsilent warzone that is, and will never be safe to live in. I was sort of wrong.

In my 4th day of school, I had one of my classes cancelled in the morning, so I can sleep in. Sadly, I slept in, and I missed my bus— the last bus going to another bus stop. I was so mad, and I honestly felt like I could do nothing to help myself at this point. My last resort was, to pray. I prayed that god does something to help me out, and to forgive me for any wrong acts I have done.

Surprisingly, a woman just so happened to be dropping some items off a building I was by, and I asked when another bus would be coming. She didn’t know, but instead, offered to drive me to my bus stop. I would never think that a complete stranger would offer to help me. Honestly, I don’t even know if I can do the same thing. This kind of made me think: the world is what we make it, and that there are helpful and good people in this world. The woman didn’t have to help me, but she did, and I got to where I needed to be in time. God bless her.

Stay bloggin’…

If you have an iPod touch or iPhone, get this, especially if you like making beats. I use it with GarageBand, and it is amazing.

Some pics of my drifting game I’m doing for the iPhone.

I’ve been making this mixtape for about a year now, and it kept getting pushed back due to constant changes and mixing and last minute things added in. Some of the beats were made by me, and everything was recorded using Garageband from a Mac computer.

I would suggest you download it…NOW!!!

Click on the pic to download.

nice.

Welcome to the new blog. Hope y’all enjoy, cause we are so gonna act a fool on this shit.

Stay bloggin’…