Hemos iniciado la Jornada Gastronómica “Chocolate” y ha sido un espectáculo ver a Richard Etherington y Lucas Gamonal trabajar juntos en la cocina del Hotel Victoria. En el siguiente video un pequeño destello del primer día de la Jornada que continúa hasta el 28 de noviembre.

Consulta el Menú

El chocolate en todas sus formas, aromas y colores será el protagonista de las VIII Jornadas Gastronómicas del hotel Victoria, en su apuesta por revitalizar el casco histórico de La Orotava y contribuir a que el municipio sea un punto de referencia, tanto para vecinos como para los visitantes.

La iniciativa, que se llevará a cabo del 25 al 28 de noviembre, contará con los comentarios del chef Lucas Gamonal, quien acompañará a Richard Etherington, responsable de la cocina del establecimiento hotelero. El menú, elaborado por ambos, ha sido “explosivo”, según el director del hotel, Enrique González, quien presentó las jornadas acompañado por el concejal de Desarrollo Económico, Domingo Acosta, y Lucas Gamonal.

Fue este último quien comentó que durante cuatro días “jugará con los comensales” en la preparación de los platos en los que el chocolate estará presente, ya sea como el elemento fundamental, como crujiente, o simplemente aportando su aroma. La idea, señaló el experto, es combinar sabores tradicionales con nuevas texturas. Así el menú incluye diferentes tipos de panes, tapas, postres y detalles dulces, además de vinos de Bodegas Insulares.

Por su parte, Acosta resaltó el “provecho” resultante del binomio hotel Victoria-casco histórico para promocionar la Villa como lugar turístico.

El pasado viernes, 20 de noviembre del 2009, recibimos en La Orotava la visita de un grupo de agentes de viaje desde Miami, que han venido para conocer la isla de Tenerife como destino turístico.

Almorzaron en el Hotel Victoria y como se puede comprobar en el siguiente video, pasaron un buen rato…

Desde este post les enviamos un cordial saludo de todo el equipo que forma el Hotel Victoria!!!

Los alcaldes de Los Realejos, Puerto de la Cruz y La Orotava, Oswaldo Amaro, Marcos Brito e Isaac Valencia, respectivamente, eligieron el Hotel Victoria como punto de reunión, el pasado martes 10 de noviembre, para analizar la situación en que se encuentra actualmente la comarca y también plantear las acciones que se puedan realizar conjuntamente en beneficio de esta zona y, por tanto, del norte en general.

Tras decidir poner “manos a la obra”, acordaron dar el primer paso con la reactivación de la histórica Mancomunidad del Valle.

Hoy, viernes 6 de Noviembre de 2009, recomendamos a los lectores del Diario de Avisos (Decano de la Prensa de Canarias) que empiecen  por la contraportada… “El Hotel Victoria en una Villa Monumental como jardín”

Contraportada del Diario de Avisos 06/11/09

Muchas gracias a todo el equipo que forma el Diario de Avisos!!!

The other night we watched an excellent movie, Changeling by Clint Eastwood, which had us shouting at the outrageous injustices taking place on the screen in front of us – we do tend to get a bit caught up in movies, particularly emotionally charged ones.

Basically, without giving too much away, the plot revolves around a woman (Angelina Jolie) in Los Angeles at the end of the 1920s whose son goes missing. When the police try to fob her of with a ‘replacement’ son she, understandably, reacts badly to this. The police, embarrassed by her public outbursts, react to this by throwing her into the nearest lunatic asylum.

The way this woman is treated is unbelievably appalling, especially when you know that it is based on a true story.

We found ourselves shouting “You can’t do that,” on a number of occasions. As the story unfolded it was difficult to comprehend how the authorities thought they could possibly get away with some of the things they got up to back in the ‘good old days’.

And then I thought of some news I’d read about Tenerife over the past week. In La Orotava there were accusations of financial indiscretions involving the mayor and a construction company. In Icod de los Vinos an audit showed that nearly 1.5 million euros were unaccounted for with the conclusion that this was as a result of fraud or chaotic mismanagement (this was the same place a policeman was placed in front of the Butterfly Gardens as part of a private political vendetta). In Puerto de la Cruz, following the political shenanigans of the last few weeks, an audit has turned up some more financial irregularities from the last time the ‘new’ mayor Marcos Brito was in charge…the list, sadly, goes on.

The incredible thing is that, like the movie, some of it seems so transparent that you wonder how on earth people can get away with it.

I asked a couple of Canarian friends about this. Both were quite apathetic and more or less said the same thing which amounted to ‘all the politicians are corrupt”. Clearly this isn’t true, but there seems to be a resignation that it is part and parcel of political life here, therefore nothing is done about it when it does happen.

One person said to me about Puerto’s situation “We’ll show the nationalists at the next election. The people will vote them out.”

To which I replied “But you did that at the last election and yet here they are back in power despite not being voted in.”

It is a strange form of democracy practiced here and watching the movie I couldn’t help thinking that some aspects of 21st century Tenerife politics were like 1920s Los Angeles – It is one part of island life that is in dire need of a complete overhaul.

Oh, if my blogs suddenly stop, somebody do me a favour and help bust me out of the local lunatic asylum.

Como ya hiciera en las citas de 2007 y 2008, el madrileño Eduardo Chapero-Jackson ha vuelto a ganar el Festival de Cortos Villa de La Orotava. En esta cuarta edición lo consiguió con el filme “The End”, que cierra una trilogía compuesta También por “Contracuerpo” y “Alumbramiento” Bajo el título genérico de “A contraluz”.

Este año el Festival de Cortos ha contado con la presencia de la actriz Ana Belén Millán y el showman Javier Gurruchaga, que disfrutaron de su estancia en el Hotel Victoria, empresa colaboradora del certamen.

El segundo premio del festival recayó en “On the Line”, de Jon Garaño, una radiografía (con aroma un documental) de la inmigración ilegal mexicana en Estados Unidos y su acogida por un sector de la clase de medios norteamericana, un choque de entre Convicciones El deseo de y Mejorar la defensa del estatus conseguido, aunque para ello haya que recurrir a la violencia más irracional.

El Tercer Premio Fue a parar a manos de “Reacción”, de David Victori, un relato desgarrador sobre la violencia de género en el que su protagonista, Santi Millán, pasa por Distintos estados de ánimo al Contemplar la Agresión brutal que sufre una Mujer a manos de su pareja. 

At first I couldn’t figure it out. My maths might be a tad rusty, but something just didn’t seem to add up.

1: In September, Fernando Cabrera, President of ASHOTEL, warned that British holiday firms might not send their clients to Puerto de la Cruz unless drastic measures were taken to transform the town.

The warning completely ignored the fact that improvements had already taken place and seemed to be likely to cause Puerto more harm than good. It was another political nail in the coffin of Puerto’s mayor and her party.

2: In October a motion of censure was called in Puerto and Lola Padrón was deposed to be replaced by Marcos Brito of the Coalición Canaria party who, despite never having been chosen by the people of Puerto, has managed to be mayor 4 times (one previous time was another motion of censure – seems to be a neat trick of his).

This turn of events, taking into account ASHOTEL’s warning, seemed incredible. Critics of Marcos Brito say that he and his supporters are anti-women and anti-gay and represent a step backwards. They have in the past accused Lola of trying to turn Puerto de la Cruz into Playa de las Américas – so that should give you an idea about their attitude towards tourism.

In essence a party which was clearly trying to move Puerto forward was replaced by a party which locally still subscribes to the sort of politics associated with Franco. Not exactly a progressive development.

To me it made ASHOTEL appear at the very least politically naive. It seemed as though they were putting the boot into Puerto at the worst possible time and, by making a statement which may have helped finish off the party who were trying to drag the town into the 21st century, at complete odds with their assertations that Puerto needed to modernise.

But the light has just been turned on and… drum roll please… here comes the good news.

3: Today, the Tenerife Government announced that 31.5 million euros is going to be invested in a package to improve Puerto de la Cruz over the next few years. The package includes renovation of some hotels.

Money is also going to be invested in Puerto’s neighbouring municipalities of Los Realejos and La Orotova. The President of the Cabildo, Ricardo Melchior (Coalición Canaria party) shared the good news with the three mayors, Isaac Valencia (Coalición Canaria party) of La Orotava, Oswaldo Amaro (Coalición Canaria party) of Los Realejos and dear little Marcos Brito (Coalición Canaria party) of Puerto de la Cruz.

Well, look at that… they’re all from the same political party. That must be nice for them.

And what a fortunate turn of events for Marcos Brito who might just be seen as the man who has rejuvenated Puerto’s fortunes.  If the announcement had been made just over two weeks ago he wouldn’t have been in power and the news may just have saved Lola Padrón and her party.

Wasn’t it serious bad luck for her that all the above events took place in the order they did?

As they say, the first rule of comedy is… timing.

El Hotel Victoria es uno de los establecimientos e colaboradores del  IV Festival de Cortos Villa de La Orotava, que contará este año con dos actores invitados: Javier Gurruchaga y Ana Milán, quienes serán la imagen del certamen durante último fin de semana de octubre. Con estas dos visitas, el festival continúa con su filosofía de promoción y difusión del buen cine con la que nació en el año 2006.

Javier Gurruchaga es uno de los mejores showman del país. Dotado de un particular histrionismo que ha convertido en su mejor seña de identidad, es actor, cantante y presentador. Sus comienzos en el mundo artístico fueron a través de la música con la Orquesta Mondragón, que a finales de los 70 y durante los 80 se convirtió en una de las principales bandas del país. Será a comienzos de los 90 cuando entre en contacto con el cine, el teatro, la radio y la televisión. Así, ha trabajado a las órdenes de directores de la talla de Pedro Almodóvar en “¿Qué he hecho yo para merecer esto?” o Luis García Berlanga en “París Tombuctú”. No obstante, su papel más recordado es el del Conde Duque de Olivares en “El rey pasmado”, que le valió su primera nominación a los premios Goya.

En los últimos años también se ha introducido en el sector del doblaje con “Los tres Reyes Magos” o “Ratónpolis”, por ejemplo, mientras que en teatro son conocidos sus montajes sobre obras de Shakespeare y “Napoleón VII”, dirigido por Mario Gas. De su paso por la tele destacan “La bola de cristal”, “Viaje con nosotros” o uno de los más recientes “La Cucaracha express”, en tanto que en la radio desarrolló su faceta como entrevistador en Onda Cero y la Cadena ser, principalmente.

Ana Milán es uno de los rostros más conocidos de la televisión. De hecho, ha participado en algunas de las series de más éxito de los últimos años como “Yo soy Bea”, “Siete vidas”, “Policías” o “Camera café”, y en la actualidad se la puede ver cada semana como Olimpia, la profesora más dura y exigente del instituto de “Física o Química”. En cine ha participado en “Al final del camino” (Roberto Santiago) con Fernando Tejero y Malena Alterio, y empezará este año a rodar “El hombre de las mariposas”, de Maxi Valero, mientras que de su paso por el teatro dejó su impronta en uno los mejores espectáculos de los últimos años, “5mujeres.com”.

They must hate me in the Al Campo supermarket in La Orotava. I’ve become a Victor Meldrew type pain in the culo stalking the aisles seeking out ‘mistakes’ and then when I spot one (not a difficult task it has to be said) pointing it out to bemused shop assistants who seem to be shocked that anyone should do such a thing and therefore don’t really know what to do.

In truth I don’t consciously stalk the aisles looking for ‘errors’ and I like shopping at Al Campo, it’s just that even if you possess the brain cells of an amoeba with learning difficulties you can’t help but spot the ‘inconsistencies’. On our last visit I notched up three.

Making You an Offer You Can Refuse

The first instance came in the guise of a TDT box which was €19.95 last week. This week it had gone up to €25. Nothing wrong with that, it’s their prerogative; however, it was the big yellow sign which read OFFER above it that amused me. On it was the ‘original’ price of €29.99 crossed out in red.

I don’t know about you, but a product which has gone up in price by €5 euros isn’t exactly bargain of the week, even if you write a ‘fictional’ higher price next to it.

This is an Al Campo favourite. Every week I see ‘offers’ which were cheaper the previous week. Are we not supposed to notice this?

We’re Going to Screw You and You’ll Be Pleased About It

The next little example of being ‘creative’ with the prices was in the fruit and veg section where I spotted packets of dates on offer for €1 (under another big yellow sign). It sounded good and a few people were throwing packets into their trolleys.

However, we’re wise to Al Campo’s various ‘offers’ and double check everything.
The €1 dates were for a 200g pack. I normally buy a 500g pack – price €1.85; a much better deal than the so-called offer which would have worked out at €2.50 for 500g.

If All Else Fails, We’re Just Going To Lie

The final piece of jiggery pokery involved croissants, the prices of which go up and down like a tart’s drawers (depending on who’s pricing them up I suspect). Two weeks ago 4 croissants were €0.99. This week the little label read €1.29 irrespective of whether they were butter or margarine (there’s usually a difference in price between the two).

Thankfully there are machines dotted all over Al Campo where you can double check the prices of items – a necessity as all too often prices don’t match those on the shelf.

The croissants were a perfect example of this. I scanned them and the price came up €1.49.  I tried the margarine ones – again €1.49.

I spotted two assistants from the bakery section and showed them the carton of croissants.

“This shows €1.29 and the machine says €1.49, they are all wrong, every one of them,” I told them.

“The machine? €1.49? All of them?” One of the girls replied looking at the croissants, then the machine on the wall.

“Si, all of them,” I confirmed.

She muttered to her friend and both scuttled off into the bakery.

I wandered off to join Andy getting some fruit and veg and kept an eye to see what they’d do about this ‘mix up’.

A few minutes later a supervisor appeared, stood in front of the croissants, scratched her head, shuffled a few boxes… and disappeared back into the bakery having done absolutely NADA.

Deliberate Scams or Plain and Simple Inefficiency? Take Your Pick.

I really don’t know if these common errors are just simple inefficiency or, in the case of the offers which aren’t offers, a specific policy. If it’s a policy, do they really believe people are so stupid that they’ll fall for it?

To cap it all, as I watched proceedings, or lack of, the bag of tomatoes I was holding split for no reason and half a dozen toms hit the floor – it was a dodgy bag (another common occurrence). I rolled my eyes and sighed under my breath ‘can anybody actually do anything right here?’

I know the island has a ‘mas o menos’ culture, but why in Al Campo does it seem as though it’s always ‘mas’ rather than ‘menos’?

El IV Festival de Cortos Villa de La Orotava contará este año con la participación de 281 cortos, lo que supone su propio récord de inscripciones desde que arrancara esta cita anual con el mundo del cine en el año 2006. El certamen, organizado por la empresa orotavense Cinenfoque con la colaboración del Ayuntamiento de La Orotava, el Gobierno de Canarias, el Cabildo de Tenerife y el Hotel Victoria entre otros establecimientos,  se celebrará en el Auditorio Teobaldo Power los días 30 y 31 de octubre con dos sesiones diarias (al precio de cinco euros cada una) que comenzarán a las 20.30 horas.

En esta preselección hay cintas procedentes de todos los puntos de España con predominio de las que dependen de los principales distribuidores del sector como los programas “Kimuak” (País Vasco) o “Madrid en corto”. La mayor parte de las películas son de temática social, comprometida y realista sobre la inmigración o la violencia de género, por ejemplo, aunque también abundan las obras de humor y las románticas. Las cintas no exceden los 30 minutos de duración y han sido rodadas en formato video-digital o 35 milímetros en los años 2007, 2008 o 2009.

El festival también se complementa con otras actividades como exposiciones monográficas sobre el mundo del cine, representaciones teatrales o proyecciones de reportajes.

El Hotel Victoria es uno de los 13 establecimientos que participan en la cuarta edición del Concurso de Tapas de La Orotava, a partir del lunes 5 hasta el 18 de octubre. Nuestro chef Richard Etherington ha elaborado la tapa con el título “Espuma caliente de papa negra con pulpito” y a continuación podrán ver un video de su presentación:

En esta edición, las tapas costarán 2,5 euros e incluyen además una copa de vino, cerveza o agua. Este año el vino elegido para maridar nuestra tapa ha sido el Tinto 7 Fuentes de Bodega Soagranorte (Enólogo: Roberto Santana).

Se puede imprimir el díptico descargándolo aquí.pdf.

El restaurante del Hotel Victoria es uno de los 13 establecimientos inscritos en la cuarta edición del Concurso de Tapas de La Orotava con la tapa “Espuma de papa negra con pulpito“.

En esta edición, las tapas costarán 2,5 euros e incluyen además una copa de vino, cerveza o agua. Aquellos que completen la ruta podrán participar como jurado dando su voto a la tapa que más les haya gustado y podrán participar en los sorteos de cenas, almuerzos o desayunos en los establecimientos que forman parte del concurso. Para completar la ruta deben entregar en cada establecimiento el díptico del concurso para que lo sellen. Cuando lo hayan completado los participantes deben indicar su tapa preferida, su número de teléfono y depositar el díptico en los buzones que encontrarán en cada uno de los establecimientos que participan en el concurso.

Se puede imprimir el díptico descargándolo aquí.pdf.

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El Puerto de Oro

Last night, as Jack was taking the homemade quiche out of the oven, I went outside to set the table on the terrace and found that the world had turned to a vibrant, rich, rose hue. The white walls of our house were luminous salmon pink and beyond, the Orotava Valley shone like molten gold.

When we spot one of Puerto’s trademark sunsets shaping up, we have an overwhelming desire to run to the car, drive two minutes up the hill to Humboldt’s Mirador and photograph the valley mid-crimson but we know that by the time we get there it will be gone.
Last night, with every passing second we watched the sky deepen into a painfully intense scarlet until it didn’t seem possible for such beauty to exist in the world. And then it was gone.

It’s said that in days of old, navigators christened Puerto de la Cruz ‘Puerto de Oro’ (the golden port) as night after night the setting sun bathed it in a mist of rosy light.
I think the Portuenses should consider changing their town’s name back to that because it’s so perfectly apt.
So here, albeit belatedly, is the sky for you to enjoy, courtesy of el Puerto de Oro:

Los grupos y el calendario del XII Torneo de Baloncesto Villa de La Orotava ha sido presentado. Los grupos son los siguientes:

Grupo A

• Zalgiris – Arvydas Sabonis Basketball Scholl (Kaunas, Lituania)
• Real Madrid FC (Madrid, España)
• La Caja de Canarias Gran Canaria (Las Palmas de Gran Canaria, España)
• C.B. Unelco Tenerife (Santa Cruz de Tenerife, España)

Los favoritos de este grupo para estar en la semifinal del torneo son: Real Madrid FC y Zalgiris – Arvydas Sabonis Basketball Scholl.

Grupo B

• Soproni Sportiskola Egyesület (Sopron, Hungría)
• Regal FC Barcelona (Barcelona, España)
• Valencia Basket Club (Valencia, España)
• C.B. San Isidro (La Orotava, España)

Los favoritos de este grupo para estar en la semifinal del torneo son: Regal FC Barcelona y Soproni Sportiskola Egyesület.

A continuación, el calendario. El primer partido empezara con el combinado de Santa Cruz de Tenerife y el lituano, donde el claro favorito es el Zalgiris. El próximo partido sera el debut de los locales contra otro favorito para las “semis”, Regal FC Barcelona.

Nota: Los partidos donde pone Mi Tierra TV, son los partidos que van ha ser retransmitidos por este canal de televisión.

Tal y como hemos ido anunciando, el próximo viernes 18 de septiembre, tendrá lugar una cena temática con el nombre  “Velada de Maridaje en Bodega Soagranorte”, cuyo punto de partida es el Hotel Victoria. Nuestro chef Richard Etherington ha elaborado alguno de sus mejores platos para esta ocasión y maridado con los vinos que ha seleccionado el enólogo Roberto Santana, quien en plena vendimia hemos realizado el siguiente video:

Consulta el Menú + Información

Is it a fig, or is it a peach...or is it something else instead?

I have just been introduced to the pleasures of the wonderful paraguayo. I’ve seen this fruit in the Al Campo supermarket in La Orotava now and again and had assumed from its shape that it was a nephew or niece of the fig family, but after reading about it on a Tenerife Forum thought I’d give it a go.

QUE SABOR! This fruit has got to be the fruit of the gods. Its aroma identifies it clearly as being a member of the peach family – maybe an aristocratic distant cousin – and the taste, mamma mia (oh no here I go again). It’s like a juicy peach which has been dipped in honey. You’ve really got to try it – not so easy if you don’t live in the Garden of Hesperides (Tenerife mas o menos) where pretty much anything grows in abundance.

Apparently the English name (or more accurately American) is the flat peach, or doughnut peach which displays a distinct lack of imagination. The ‘doughnut peach’ sounds like something an obese kid on a buckling bmx would be stuffing into his gob.

An exotic fruit should have an exotic name and paraguayo rolls off the tongue nicely, so I’m sticking with it.

If you haven’t tried them yet, you’ve got to go out and get one ASAP and give those taste buds a sweet little treat.

El segundo torneo de baloncesto más famoso de Tenerife, es decir, XII Torneo de Baloncesto Villa de La Orotava, ha sido presentado antes de ayer el cartel de los equipos. En este torneo pariciparan ocho equipos en total, contaran con cuatro  grandes canteras filiales del equipo ACB , dos equipos europeos y uno de Tenerife y el conjunto local, C.B. San Isidro.

Este torneo concentra a los mejores cadetes del panorama nacional y europeo en La Orotava para los grandes amantes del baloncesto. Todo un lujo. El torneo se celebrara del 24-27 de septiembre de 2009 en Pabellón del Colegio Salesiano “San Isidro” y el Pabellón Municipal de Deportes Quiquirá.

Los ocho equipos del torneo son:

• Zalgiris – Arvydas Sabonis Basketball Scholl (Kaunas, Lituania)
• Soproni Sportiskola Egyesület (Sopron, Hungría)
• Real Madrid FC (Madrid, España)
• Regal FC Barcelona (Barcelona, España)
• Valencia Basket Club (Valencia, España)
• La Caja de Canarias Gran Canaria (Las Palmas de Gran Canaria, España)
• C.B. Unelco Tenerife (Santa Cruz de Tenerife, España)
• C.B. San Isidro (La Orotava, España)

Cartel del XII Torneo de Baloncesto Villa de La Orotava

“You can’t go out in that!” Andy had her hands on her hips; she meant business.

“Why? What’s wrong with it?” She was referring to an old T-shirt in whose company I felt as relaxed as if it were an old friend.

Sure the T-shirt was faded and maybe even slightly ragged here and there, but that gave it more street cred. For me wearing something that looks brand spanking new can be slightly naff. I used to fall into the trap of buying a new holiday wardrobe every time we went on holiday. So that from the moment I stepped off the plane I smelled and looked like a shiny new person. The problem with this was that the clothes of all the most interesting people I ever met always had a faded, worn look. You felt that you could sit down with one of their T-shirts alone and it could tell you a whole load of fascinating yarns.

Therefore, the more faded my clothes become, the closer I come to reaching a windswept and interesting nirvana – that’s what I told myself anyway. The truth is, if you’re Charlie Brown, you’re Charlie Brown.

In the year before we moved here I stocked up on what I thought were ‘travellers’ type clothes. For 6 years most of them have remained in my wardrobe relatively unworn except for their annual Carnaval outing when, devoid of inspiration, we dress up as hippies. I’m a suit person at heart really, yet I’ve never worn one here – it’s too hot despite what anyone will tell you about the north of Tenerife. So most of the time it’s T-shirts and light pants; although since Casino Royale  I’ve decided that Daniel Craig’s smart but coolly casual style is right up my street. Anyway I digress.

“What’s up with it?”

“That. That’s what’s up with it,” Andy pulled at the bottom of the T-shirt and held it out so that I could see.

There was a line of holes, each progressively bigger than the last. Daddy moth, mummy moth and the kids had obviously had a right old meal.

“Oh… I hadn’t noticed those.”

It was a feeble excuse; you could stick your finger through the biggest of the holes.

“You need some new clothes.”

“I’m sure I bought some new T-shirts not so long ago,” you can take the boy out of Scotland, but you can’t take Scotland out of the boy. The idea of spending money on something as frivolous as clothes brought me out in a sweat.

We did a quick calculation and worked out that it was over two years since I’d bought any T-shirts (I’ve had ones since, but as presents), so an emergency trip to La Villa shopping centre in La Orotava was arranged.

An hour later I emerged with 2 polo shirts and 1 T-shirt from Zara; 2 T-shirts from Springfield and a pair of trousers from Pull & Bear.

And the total cost? €30 – those sort of prices I can live with.

Now I’ll have to wear them about the house for a few weeks before I go out in public to get rid of that shiny new look.

That header might be a bit misleading; hairdressers on Tenerife are generally very good. I mean have you seen Canarian girls’ hair… beautiful and wonderfully conditioned. Oops, came over all a bit Toni & Guy there.

I keep on meaning to ask how other ex-pats cope with a visit to the hairdresser. It’s one of those million little things that you don’t think about when moving to another country – how to tell the hairdresser what you want in another language. Not that it’s a real problem for me. ‘Tres con la maquina aqui, aqui y aqui y casi lo mismo arriba’. Probably not technically correct, but way over the net and I don’t tend to emerge with something which looks as though it was cut with blunt scissors which is what used to happen on the island I grew up on.

One of the main problems I have with my hairdresser in La Villa in La Orotava is the mirrors. They are the least friendly mirrors I have ever had the misfortune to look into. By the time the hairdresser asks me how I want my hair cut, I feel like replying ‘just pass me a razor for my wrists and let’s be done with this once and for all.’

The situation isn’t helped by the fact that by the time I eventually give in to Andy’s repeated ‘it’s really time you got your haircut… you’ve got Jose Mourinho hair’ (unfortunately I don’t have his Latin good looks to go with it), it’s a right mess. So the face looking back at me from the mirror looks as though it’s wearing a Carnaval wig. I can almost hear the mirror chuckle with evil glee as it goes to work highlighting my flaws and magnifying them for all the people in the peluqeria to see.

After the hair it’s my face, which seems to have turned a similar colour to my hair and dead-for-a-week grey isn’t a particularly attractive look.  The bags under my eyes look as though they could comfortably hold the week’s shopping. It doesn’t look as though I’ve shaved for days and the hobo bristle is a weird mixture of grey, black and… ginger! But worst of all this time was the discovery of a strange black growth on my bottom lip.

“What the… ?” and suddenly the hypochondriac in me was off and running.

I immediately moved closer to the mirror and pulled and twisted my lip to get a better look. There was definitely a worrying stain that I’d never seen before. The sign of some disease which was probably going to result in half my face falling off.

At least it distracted me from the horrors of having my hair cut until it was all over and I rushed out to find Andy.

“There’s something really odd on my lip,” and I started gurning again in the middle of La Villa.

Andy couldn’t see anything and when I got home and checked it out in the mirror in our house, there was nothing there.  I’m telling you, hairdressers’ mirrors are evil. You’d think hairdressers would do something about this. Surely it can’t be good for business? You’re supposed to look good after you get your haircut, not like a circus freak (no offence to circus freaks).

Anyway, I’m off to the graveyard to find a vampire so I don’t have to go through this again.

By the way the mirrors in the men’s toilets in Zakynthos airport are fantastic. They are the only mirrors that I ever remember looking into and thinking ‘wow, you look good’. But that was over 20 years ago and I had a golden tan at the time… I miss those mirrors.

I noticed on the news yesterday that Lufthansa airlines were offering compensation to holidaymakers who got rainy days while they were away.
I reckon it’s a fairly safe bet that the UK won’t be one of the 36 destinations for which the insurance company will pay out, but I guess Tenerife might be. The chances of seeing rain at the coast anywhere between June and October on Tenerife are low enough even for me to consider giving good odds.

We’ve had weeks and weeks of cloudless searing heat here so, for those of us who live on the island, the occasional cloud cover we’re having this week is a merciful relief.
Of course, if this is your two weeks R&R away from the sort of ‘barbecue summer’ that sent Noah heading briskly towards the woodshed, the last thing you want to see is clouds.

But worry not, there are so many excellent things to do on Tenerife that you should really look on cloudy days, not as disappointments, but as opportunities.

So, here is my list of things to do when it’s cloudy in Tenerife; it’s by no means exhaustive:

Beat the clouds – if you absolutely must have the sun, you can pretty much guarantee finding it in Teide National

Life above the clouds

Park and at least you get to see a bit of the island in the process. Simply drive up through the pine forests to emerge above the clouds and into the blue. In this volcanic wonderland you can take a cable to the top of the world (well, nearly); eat lunch in Spain’s highest restaurant; wander amongst incredible rock formations at Roques García or simply soak up the sun. But be warned, the air at this height is thinner and the sun’s rays more intense, slap on the factor 25, wear a hat and drink plenty of water.

Go wild – leave the barren landscape of the south and head to the north’s verdant Puerto de la Cruz and Tenerife’s number one ‘must-see’; Loro Parque.
Dolphin, sea lion, Orca and parrot shows are all great fun and entertainment while the penguins at the incredible artificial iceberg are compulsive watching. You’ll need at least five hours in the park so give yourself plenty of time for this one.

In Santa Cruz, just be cool

See summer in the city – the island’s capital city of Santa Cruz has a surprising number of things to see and do and cloudy days afford some respite for wandering the shops (tax free shopping), chilling out in the tranquil Parque García Sanabria, exploring the museums and galleries or just kicking back in one of the pavement cafes and watching the world go by. And if the sun re-emerges (as it usually does in Santa Cruz), you’re just a hop and skip away from the island’s best beach at Las Teresitas and the best seafood lunch at beach-side San Andrés.

Tour mini-Tenerife – at Pueblo Chico in La Orotava. Spend a

It's a small world at Pueblo Chico

couple of hours wandering around beautifully crafted models of the Canaries in miniature with meticulous attention to detail and lots of funny bits.
When you’re done, head up the hill to the full sized La Orotava, the jewel in Tenerife’s crown, and explore the streets of the old quarter. You’ll find parks and gardens, historic houses lining narrow cobbled streets, old monasteries, a Gothic church and some nice little antique shops.

Take a hike – along some of Tenerife’s stunning walking trails. Summer can be murderous for tackling some stamina-sapping parts of the island so take advantage of cloud cover to trek the parts that don’t have wide vistas crying out for sunshine, like Masca Barranco or Hell’s Ravine.

Dive in –to the deep, blue Atlantic at one of the island’s fascinating dive sites around the coast of Las Galletas or take the whole family and head to San Miguel marina for a trip in a Yellow Submarine…all together now; “we all live ” tum ti tum.

Mummified Guanche at Museum of Man & Nature

Mooch – around one of Tenerife’s museums. Now before you yawn and skip to the end…not all museums are dull. Science and Cosmos in La Laguna is an oversized playground of optical illusions; Man and Nature in Santa Cruz has some gruesome mummies and the Anthropological in Valle Guerra is like Tenerife’s version of the set of ‘Upstairs Downstairs’. And on Sundays they’re all free to get in.

So…bring on the clouds, see if we care!

El pasado viernes, 10 de julio, el Hotel Victoria organizó y llevó a cabo una velada de maridaje en Bodegas El Penitente. Los asistentes pudieron ver las instalaciones de la prestigiosa bodega del Norte de Tenerife y posteriormente disfrutar de una cena temática, elaborada por nuestro chef Richard Ethenrington y armonizada con la cata comentada de la enóloga Nayra Trujillo.

A continuación un corto video con algunos de los momentos de la velada:

Last night I dreamt of Bute again…and the haunted hotel on the hill.

I’d never thought about how small Bute, the island I grew up on, was until Jose pointed out to me that El Hierro was a bigger island with more of a population…jeez, that made Bute seem really small.

I hadn’t really thought about Bute for a long time, but a couple of things recently had me reminiscing about the island ‘doon the water’ as it used to be referred to by holidaymaking Glaswegians. The first was when Andy, Jose, Colin Kirby and I had taken some time out from the hot steep La Orotava streets during Corpus Christi to have a beer and some pinchos in the cool leafy shade of a guachinche beside the town hall. I was telling Jose about the fact that people born on Bute were called Brandanes after St Brendan, coincidentally also the name of the Canary Island’s legendary eighth island (I’m not counting those other little ones near Lanzarote), San Borondón. I’m not sure how we got on to the subject of Bute, I think it was something to do with links between Scotland and Tenerife, but as we were speaking pretty bad Spanish (clearly not Jose); it could have been some other reason altogether.

The other thing that made me think of Bute was an excellent interview with Jack Nicholson I’ve just read. The interview was about the experiences he had working with Stanley Kubrick during the making of The Shining.
The Shining is the scariest book that I’ve ever read and the reason it reminds me of Bute is for the same reason that the book terrified me. At the time I read it a thousand years ago I was an impressionable youth working as a night porter in a grand old Victorian hotel which dominated the hillside overlooking Rothesay Bay.

As if choosing a book like The Shining to keep me company in the dead of night wasn’t foolhardy enough, at the time I read the book the hotel was closed for the winter and most of the lights were turned off to save on the electricity bills. Part of my job involved walking the corridors with a flashlight to make sure everything was in order. If you know the plot of The Shining you’ll realise that, whilst you probably couldn’t have dreamt up a more appropriate environment for reading The Shining, it might not have been the smartest move I ever made to read it under these circumstances. I spent night after night positively crapping myself.

There were places in that hotel which terrified me; places which sent the hairs on the back of my neck standing to attention like soldiers on parade. The toilet outside the ballroom where a guest had once been found dead, Elvis style. Every time I passed Room 201…and I don’t even know what happened there. I could tell you two or three tales of incidents which convinced me that if there weren’t such things as ghosts, there were some things at least that I couldn’t explain away…but maybe another time.

Anyway, these incidents reminded me of Bute and funnily my mum, who still lives on the island, phoned as I was writing this. My mum’s 77 and still works. She looks after old people would you believe? That cracks me up. She’s just told me about a woman she helps who’s 101. Last time she visited her, the old dear asked my mum to phone the police because her mother had gone out and hadn’t returned!

The funny thing is that Bute is an absolutely stunning island; especially the bit that crosses into the highlands…it is a scenery overdose. And yet I’ve hardly got a photo of it. I also know far more about Tenerife than I do about the place where I grew up despite it having a history which makes Tenerife’s seem like a toddler.

It’s strange how sometimes you only recognise the uniqueness and beauty of your hometown from a distance.

Some aromas just make you smile.

For me it’s the scent of hot pine needles which remind me of hiking through sun dappled forests; freshly mown grass which conjures up camping trips to Cornwall, the Lake District and Wales; candyfloss and toffee apples which transport me back to childhood fairgrounds and …toasted grass seeds. No, not the sort you smoke (though come to think of it that should be on the list too), but the sort that the Alfombristas (carpet makers) of La Orotava use to outline, silhouette, create shadow and background to their floral masterpieces during the Feast of Corpus Christi.

Yesterday we arrived in the Baroque town of La Orotava which lies in the valley of the same name above the northwest coast of Tenerife at about 11am.
Sweating in the already hot sun as we laboured up the cartoon-sized incline of the cobbled streets, the aroma of toasted grass seeds assailed my nostrils and a broad smile crossed my lips.

I remembered spending last year here with Pamela from Secret Tenerife and her friend José ‘Mataparda’; wandering endlessly around the burgeoning carpets, drinking beer outside a Guachinche and eating carne machada arepas at an arepera near the bus station…happy days.

As we made our way towards the Ayuntamiento where the main sand and soil tapestry occupies the plaza, some of the flower carpets in the surrounding streets were already well underway whereas others had barely begun. It’s one of the great joys of the day, wandering in a continuous circuit of the carpets watching as they take shape and form, transforming before your very eyes from ‘do you know what it is yet?’ status to ‘ah! It’s the La Orotava skyline at sunset’.

It took us almost two hours to do one circuit and to go up to the balcony of the Ayuntamiento from where we could photograph the main tapestry. While there, we noticed that there were people on the roof of the church of La Concepción and we headed that way to try our luck.

Eagle eyed Jack spotted ‘Mataparda’at a small balcony half way up the tower and we went inside to meet him. José took us up the narrow winding staircase of the tower to the window we’d seen him from and Jack took some photos before we continued towards the roof.

Just as it seemed we were about to have La Orotava at our feet we were stopped in our tracks by a trainee jobsworth who insisted that no-one else could go onto the roof as last night’s rain had left the surface too slippery and dangerous. We retreated back to ground level where we were joined by Colin (easy to spot with his blonde hair and ubiquitous CD Tenerife football top).
By the time we got back out into the sun it was definitely lunch time and we headed to the little Gauchinche by the side of the Town Hall where José treated us to beer and pinchos. Another perfect day and one which ought to be on the ‘must see’ list of every respectable traveller.

I’ll let the carpets speak for themselves and I’ll consign the smell of toasted grass seeds to memory for another year.

An evocative image made from sand and soil

I always like to take a trip up the hill to La Orotava the day before the main Corpus Christi celebrations to watch the alfombristas (carpet makers) put the finishing touches to the main sand tapestry outside the Ayuntamiento (Town Hall).

The weather hasn’t been kind to the alfombristas this year. An unseasonable heavy downpour of rain a couple of days ago must have caused a few squeaky bum moments, but a sloping canopy saved the wonderful work of art. An alfombrista told me it’s actually the idea of wind that…errr puts the wind up them, so not the disaster it could have been.

This years offering is quite magnificent, as good as that of two years ago and the centrepiece is an incredibly vibrant image despite being created solely from volcanic soil. Don’t take my word for it, here’s a preview of the near finished masterpiece which will be unveiled in all its glory tomorrow.

The Centrepiece of the Sand Tapestry 2009

Have a look at more images here.