So off I went to my first Hot Yoga class. Insecure and challenged physically. Oh yes, I thought I would die the first day from the heat, and the postures. Who gets into those positions? I needed a lot of coaxing and even used a strap to help me grab my ankles. I’m sure there was grunting and heavy breathing as well. At first I was uncomfortable getting so much help, but then I saw thin people using straps and getting instruction as well. Apparently not everyone’s body is yoga ready when they come to class.

Well, I did eventually get into the positions. Maybe not perfectly but the difference from the first day was amazing. . I lost only some weight at first, yet my body began to adjust to the movement and respond. OH MY, can I really do this?

I continued in that class for several months and lost 80 pounds. It was more significant that I did this for myself then the weight loss. I stood straighter. I felt proud, and I didn’t feel awkward any longer. I invited several of my friends to join me. They were much thinner than I was. It was obvious by the evil eyes and death threats that this was not for them. I of course felt as though I had just conquered Mt Everest.

Eventually, I saw that what stopped me were my own fears and thoughts about what would occur. I may have been judged by others but I never heard it. And even if I had, who says those people don’t judge everyone else too? It’s very important for me to stop my own limiting thoughts since they are much more prevalent than the comments I fear from others.

Enthusiastically,
Fran

For more information on Fran Asaro go to www.thriveanyway.com

Many of us who long to lose weight will stay so focused on that and ignore our aspirations and visions. We may say “it will have to weight until I am thin”. And for some, years may have passed and so many dreams with them.

What if for a moment in time we stopped waiting for the weight to fall off and begin having a great life in SPITE of it? What if while we were losing weight, looking for the ideal weight loss program or after we’ve lost our weight, we begin to venture out of our comfort zone and explore life and that which we are entitled to do?

Imagine stepping out to go dancing – YES while you are still large. Imagine taking singing lessons, joining a social group or better yet, beginning one yourself! Ahhh, to some this is very scary or even taboo. After all, it’s unacceptable to be your size so you ought to beat yourself up and hide in your home until you are perfect right? WRONG.

Believe it or not there are those of us who are plus size and are STILL going dancing, dating, taking classes and buying beautiful clothes. There are those of us large and lovely women who are launching new businesses and finding our rightful place in the world.

Which do you prefer? I named my mother company Thrive Any Way to inspire others to thrive in spite of their current circumstance. I named this project Thrive Any Weight for the same reason. There isn’t a reason you cannot thrive in life. And I want to help you see that.

For today I invite you to do something new. Say Enough already and step outside your comfort zone. Dress with more color. Put on make up. Say hello to someone you are attracted to. DANCE!!!! What ever it is, begin today to explore your aliveness. Just a little. Ok, maybe a LOT! Whatever you choose, have fun!

Please check back for more of the Thrive Any Weight Blog.

Enthusiastically,
Fran

For more information about Fran Asaro go to www.thriveanyway.com

“In my work I portray what larger women represent to me. I focus on their fullness and femininity, as a form of protest against discrimination set by media and by today’s society. What larger women embody to me is simply a different form of beauty. I believe we own ‘freedom of taste’ and one shouldn’t be reluctant of expressing his inclination towards it. Limiting this freedom is living in a dictatorship of esthetics “

… more from Yossi and critics on Full Beauty website

Justin Bieber’s New Hairdo
Say it ain’t so, Biebs?! After all that time and energy young men and lesbians have put into attaining your gorgeous floppy, flicky look, you go and change it. We have been misled by this young man. I thought he was a fine upstanding man of good Canadian breeding. Now we know that he doesn’t care about the countless teens who worshiped his locks. Rainbow Poo himself even donned a Bieber-top as part of his adventures on this very blog. The World has changed.

My 7 Year Old Niece at a shooting range.
I almost vomited yesterday when I checked my facebook to find that my brother had not only purchased a weapon for his 7 year old daughter, but also took her to a shooting range to get in some target practice. Do people not realize that guns are instruments of death? There sole purpose is to maim and kill. Is this a skill that any child needs to learn? Am I secretly related to insane people who are going to start a militia in New Jersey? I’m just plain disgusted. I won’t be able to look at them the same way again.

Large Women Wearing Very Little
I try to avoid being any of the “ists” and generally I like to include sizist along with that. I’ve been know to carry a few extra tires around town myself, but I also put in a solid effort to make sure those tires are covered and insured. Yet there are some people who just don’t think like me. Some women out there are so proud of their large and in charge status that they wear next nothing. And I wish to have those images burned from my brain. That is all I can say about that.

That Gross Lesbo Porn I once saw
While I’m going down misogyny lane, I must add something else I wish I had never seen. While a youngster in college I attended a party thrown by some friends that featured adult videos of many varieties showing on several screens. One of them featured two women putting chocolate cake into each other’s vaj-jays and then literally eating out. It was like a car crash you couldn’t pull your eyes away from. I’m also quite certain they got some nasty yeast infections from that.

Am I naive to think I can wipe these images from my mind? What is the answer to my quandry? Will I find my eternal sunshine someday? Tell me your favorite things to forget in the comments. Oh and…sorry about that last one. I know you are going to struggle to get over those images now.

Large women do not have to worry about their weight and shape and how these can ruin their appearance on their wedding day. There are ways for large women to look attractive and feel like a royalty during their special day.,camera mobile phone

In looking for the best wedding dress, plus-sized women should know a couple of things. First, it is necessary for them to schedule an appointment with bridal boutiques. It will spare you of troubles if you can have a look at the dresses of you and your bridesmaid a few months before the wedding day.

Secondly you should have a list of shops where you can get the best deals on large size dresses. One of the great shops to go to is SalwarkameezIndias online store because they give promotions like outfitting your entire party if you win a contest. They also offer tailoring,m001 android, as well as shoes and jewelry to accentuate your look during wedding day. However,cree led, there are many other fabulous online stores which could give you exactly what you are looking for.

Weddings may also require the bride to put on some intimate lingerie,laser mouse, so it could be good for the bride to shop for sexy plus lingerie. Victorias Secret may not be recommended but going online is. You could try browsing online for various websites affordable deals on intimate lingerie for your special night.

Remember,flexible foldable keyboard, you dont have to worry about your weight in order to feel like a royalty on your wedding day. Keep in mind these simple,drop ship supplier, practical reminders and chances are you will look your best on your special day.

http://w90wendyz.coolblogz.com/2010/07/23/wedding-dress-shops-4/

http://w50wendyu.pib.ir/671362/Apad+China.html

http://www.blogsinn.com/entry.php?w=w34wendyg&e_id=116684

http://chinawholesale00.blogsarena.com/1503929/google+apad.html

]]> http://mybigfatlife.wordpress.com/2010/03/08/my-big-fat-life-chairs-chairs-everywhere-but-not-a-place-to-sit-comfortably/ Mon, 08 Mar 2010 13:12:43 +0000 MyBigFatLife http://mybigfatlife.wordpress.com/2010/03/08/my-big-fat-life-chairs-chairs-everywhere-but-not-a-place-to-sit-comfortably/ Published in the Fredericton Daily Gleaner,  Monday March 8th, 2010

I flew last week for the first time in very long time. It had me reminiscing about a not so nice flight more than a few years ago.

I vividly remember the first time I flew as a “larger” woman. I had been in the north for a few years and began to pile on more than a few pounds. I was travelling alone, my husband was already in Nova Scotia, travelling there directly from college in Ottawa, and Kristen had already made the flight earlier in the summer with a co-worker – spending extra time with her grandparents.

The woman who sat beside me asked when I was due. I can’t believe I’m going to admit this, but I never batted an eyelash and gave her some random date a few months into the future. She congratulated me on the life inside of me. I remember wondering if she could see how embarrassed I was … I thought she must have felt the heat emanating from my face at that exact moment.

I felt like my cheeks were on fire. I let someone believe I was pregnant because I thought it was better than letting them believe I was fat.

I was ashamed of my size.

I think the reason the person asked the status of my condition was how I hooked myself into my seat that day.

I had to attach the airline seat belt around my hips, directly across my pelvis, underneath my bulging belly because there was no way it would go over my belly … the seat belt barely fit as it was. I was horrified.

I remember being seriously worried I would have to ask for an extender.

But then I remembered my “condition” and thought that even if I did ask for the extra belt I’d be treated as a delicate pregnant woman, not as a fat woman who needs help, getting that “she obviously can’t help herself, because just look at her” kind of look from the airline staff.

Although I have never had to purchase two seats on a plane because of my size I can only begin to imagine the horror in having to do that.

There is such humiliation when you have to ask for accommodations based on your weight.

There’s no shame in asking for help because you have a broken leg, or are in a wheelchair, or are older and require help getting in and out of your seat.

But sadly, weight (I believe) is one of the only areas of society where discrimination is still rampant.

When renovations were completed to the Woodstock Town Council offices and council chamber new chairs for the chamber’s gallery were ordered … all with arms. I asked the town’s CAO if some seats without sides could be ordered for those of us who carry a little ‘extra’ on our hips. He quickly obliged.

He said he didn’t realize what arms meant to someone who is heavy. But I knew what it meant – it meant standing, or worse, embarrassingly squeezing your large self into a seat at a meeting.

When the Upper River Valley hospital in Waterville opened, one of the first thing I noticed was larger chairs, and chairs that ran together without separating arms – places where large people could sit easily, without embarrassment.

And while I truly love this inclusive kind of planning, it also saddens me that we’ve come to the point in our society where our largness needs to be incorporated into the planning of buildings and what’s in it. Doorways need to be larger, seats have to be bigger … all because we can’t seem to do what we need to do – eat less and move more.

Theresa Blackburn is a wife, mother and New Brunswick Community College instructor who lives and diets in Woodstock. You can e-mail her at theresa@mybigfatlife.ca, or join her group, Big Fat Life, on Facebook.

OMG..I think I just spit up a little in my mouth..

LMAO..I never realized how fat this chick is. More importantly? I never realized how funny naked fat people are! I just can’t stop laughing….Oh..OMG..wait a second? I just realized what is more funnier than a super fat naked chick. 

Stop it..please just stop the madness.these fat chicks are disgusting!

 

It’s a bunch of fat chicks!   OMG…the denial of these fat chicks runs deeper than the Pacific. 

I know that this is a old photo from an old show…but funny is timeless! 

(Click through for video)

Actually, it’s already big. It’s even named Big Ballet, and for good reason: its female performers are well outside the weight range typically attributed to ballerinas. In fact, you better have some curves to even think about joining this troupe because the minimum weight limit is 238 pounds. (That’s not a misprint.) For the Brits among us, that’s just over 19 stone, and roughly two-and-a-half average Swan Lake divas.

Big Ballet began in Russia, founded in 1994 by the late Evgeny Panfilov, an already well-known choreographer. According to a Sky News feature, a key impetus behind forming the ballet group involved challenging “modern conceptions of grace…” (There’s a nifty little photo gallery at that Sky News link as well, which I encourage you to view.) And if you’re mentally picturing a lot of lumbering and grunting and awkwardness, you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised. Although these women are not professional dancers, they are dedicated and train three times a week. They also maintain careers outside the ballet company, some daylighting as doctors, nurses, and engineers.

On their last tour, performances included selections from Swan Lake, the Nutcracker, and modern pieces set to contemporary music. But don’t think these ladies are all stiff-corsets and starched tutus, their performances also include quite a bit of humor. An ABC News article described part of the entertainment as “pure slapstick.” And though the article carries a less-than-flattering undertone the basics are well-stated through an attendee’s comment of one of the shows: “I really enjoyed it. It’s refreshing…”

In an increasingly fat-intolerant society, it’s an interesting endeavor to say the least. And just think, Panfilov began this effort long before tabloid covers depicted the ghastly remains of Calista Flockhart, Kate Bosworth, Nicole Ritchie, Mary-Kate Olsen, Keira Knightley, or any of the others from the long list of the “barely-there” celebs. Living at the other end of the spectrum, these large women are working to “change public perceptions about big people.” And perhaps change their perceptions about themselves as well. “It’s hard being teased your whole life then finding the confidence to go on stage and perform in front of so many people, but now I have it and I am so happy,” shared Katya Yurkowa, one of the dancers. “…Under one of the world’s leading choreographers, we gained the ability and confidence to take to the stage and show that we are as good at professional dance as thin people.”

The ballet company is based in the city of Perm, nestled on the western slope of the Ural Mountain region of Russia and home to roughly 1 million people. It has a rich history of dance and performing arts, a perfect setting for the Big Ballet to put down roots. But like other inspiring dance troupes the world over, borders mean little to them and they have tip-toed across Russia and Europe, their most recent tour encompassing some thirty performances at twenty-seven venues across Great Britain. Several articles reported the shows were sold out at every performance, hopefully a sign of impressive and expansive tours to come.

And the Big Ballet is not alone. While it seems to be among the most successful thus far in it’s support and continuation, let us not overlook groups like Big Dance, founded in 1993 in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada and choreographed by Lynda Raino; Danza Voluminosa, a Cuban dance troupe founded in 1996 by Juan Miguel Mas, also the director and choreographer; and Big Moves, founded and directed by Marina Wolf Ahmad.

All I can say is, I wish these ballets and their dancers all the best. And I hope with all my heart they keep on dancing.

HERE ARE THE TOP 7 THINGS THAT MAKE A ‘FAT” CHICK ATTRACTIVE or UNATTRACTIVE:

1)”Oh my god, look at that whore!”….WTF is up with that? So a skinny chick with a good bod walks by you…..and youre OFFENDED? You dont even know her. Have a little confidence, please.
-JEALOUSY SUCKS…..nothing can make a man (or woman) run away faster than lack of confidence by being the morbidly jealous bitch.

2) LEARN TO DRESS TO IMPRESS!…Do yourself a favor: WATCH THE SPANISH CHANNEL for a few hours. PLEASE OBSERVE how even the FAT and OLD chicks look HOT. They know how to dress up thier flaws to catch men’s attention. Even the most heinous of women look good. Why? Because they TRY. and that’s attractive. “Oh, but they look like WHORES!”….well, lady it sure beats the ponytail and/or dyke hair, sweatpants and “Penn State” hoodie that you wear. No one is asking your fatass to wear a thong and low-rise jeans…..Were just asking you to play up your cleavage a little, wear a skirt or some fashionable jeans, get your hair done and some make-up on, maybe some hoop earring and, yes…a thong…..and exude a little confidence.

3) PLEASE ENJOY SEX. Have an OPEN MIND…..This goes for ALL women. Here’s a little secret: CAPTURE OUR IMAGINATION and we are YOURS FOREVER. We might LOOK, but we arent goiug to stray if you capture our imagination. YES. we are dogs. PIGS. Lustful animals, and we are that FIRST, and mates later. Sorry, truth……..So DO NOT get offended if we mention something about a 3-some or Anal, or just having you wearing heels and stockings to bed. THE VERY WRONG ANSWER is to: Cross your arms, pout and stomp screaming ” what kind of a whore do you think I am?”….Wrong, wrong, wrong. …..Maybe CONSIDER doing it…..and even if YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO IT……at least make a game out of it by leading the man on thinking that you MIGHT, maybe SOMEDAY do this. Speak OPENLY and FREELY about sex, YOUR wants and desires, and HIS AS WELL. And for god’s sakes, PULLLEEEEAZE learn how to give a blowjob. ……then get a little freaky. Maybe give each other a hot baby oil massage in the shower. Play games with food and blindfolds. Act out a scenario. Make it FUN, INTERESTING, and MEMORABLE,……. instead of a painful, disappointing CHORE.

4) GROOMING: God, the MOST important. SHAVE, TRIM, DOUCHE. Hairstyle, nails, teeth. Maybe even a tan. ANYONE, fat or not looks good with a tan……..any chick with hair growing up her ass crack and 3 days’ stubble on her legs is NOT getting her pussy eaten let alone pridefully taken on a date publicly. LOOK like you FEEL attractive, then MAKE AN EFFORT to do those girly things that matter MOST: Trim, shave, wax, douche, etc. Save the “tat” or the “piercing” for later….I’m more concerned about your breath, pits, legs, buttcrack and pussy than how cool your new “tat” looks…..Men do it: (Shave, trim, wash, brush, dress, etc)…..you should too.

5)BE REALISTIC: Look. Face it. You are FAT. Dont expect Brad Pitt or George Clooney to be asking you out. The same is for us men. A bald, middle-aged man with a little gut might not be attractive……but he goddamned sure might be a much better man for you in the long run anyway. And that works BOTH ways when your’e NOT perfect, get it? (wink, wink)No one is telling you to lower your standards and expectations…..we are just saying look for love in places where other people are NOT….and never say never. Keep those horizons broad and you might do better than the girl who scored the GQ underwear model dude.

6) RELY ON YOUR PERSONALITY. So, fuck it. Youre fat. What can you offer over a hot, skinny chick?….not much, at least at FIRST. Usually, super-hot skinny party bimbos SUCK in the personality department, they are STUCK UP, self-centered and ALWAYS high-maintenence. What can you do? BE THE EXACT OPPOSITE! Be approachable. Be kind. Be FUN and SMILING. Have CONFIDENCE (are you seeing a trend here?) and poise and learn to flirt with POISE, CONFIDENCE and DIGNITY while arousing men’s curiousity as to why you are so fun, open and bubbly……..where a hot, snotty chick only knows how to push her boobs out further, pull her thong up higher and dance more seductively when threatened by the presence of other women stealing attention from her,…..you can smoke her clear out of the room by just being a fun, approachable, level-headed smiling confident chick. TRUST ME. We are looking for that, and it’s refreshing.
-Walking a fine line here. Be approachable and fun without being obnoxious or appearing desperate. KNOW when youve said too much, and know when you need to walk away to keep the man thinking about you. This applies once youve captured your man. If you stick by the mantra: “best friends, best lovers. Talk openly no drama.) on both your parts…..youll be together forvere.

7) GET USED TO REJECTION. It aint you, it’s them. Thier loss, really. You arent perfect, and you know it. Are you gonna let that eat away at your self-esteem? Fuck it, baby. You didnt need him anyway. Maybe he didnt like blondes, or maybe he was already taken. This no reason to go home and eat ice cream and cry. Tommorrow is another day, and there for MOTHERFUCKING SURE someone looking for EXACTLY YOU. And deep inside you know it.

Good night, good luck. I am a dude dealing with the same thing, and we are in the same boat…..with the exception and difference being, at least a fat chick can still get laid anytime she wants…… DUDES just go home lonely and dejected. NO CHICK EVER looks at a sub-par dude and says to herself: “well, he aint hot, but he’d be good for a quick piece of ass” like men do….so we usually sit up late and post bullshit replies on craigslist instead of going out and being shot down again and again.

Later. Hope you find your mate.

So im thinking the ana nicole pic is a little to much but she was never ugly…just over weight. let me know what you think of all this. Id like to get other peoples opinions. I think its true. just becuase your overweight doesnt mean you cant rock a style and flaunt yourself.

Beyond the strictly physical part of the equation, the Real Woman is infinitely more erotic than the skinny girl. She has so much more to use in the service of her sexuality, and she knows what to do with it. She knows that her shapes and sweeping sensual textures will drive her man into the kind of frenzy that skin and bones could never accomplish. Once a Real Woman becomes aware of what she’s got, she also becomes sexually confident in a way that her stick-figure rival can never be. She knows she’s everything her man could ever hope to handle. She rules her territory, and it turns her on to do so.

Because the Real Woman has likely spent much of her time growing up as an object of ridicule, she also has a great deal of sensitivity to offer. Unlike the skinny girl who thinks attention from boys is simply part and parcel of her existence, the Real Woman has an emotional center that gives her a level of depth and character that only serves to enhance her extraordinary sexuality all the more. There is an air of freedom about her. As she senses your unparalleled ecstasy in enjoying her to the fullest, there is a flow established that tells you SHE’S enjoying YOUR enjoyment perhaps even more.

Having taken stock of the obvious reasons for preferring Real Women to stick figures, let’s move on into the more complicated part of our inquiry, namely, social conditioning. Social conditioning is definitely the arena in which things get tough. Our very personalities are constructed by a complex web of genetic traits and social conditioning, all of which meld together into what we perceive as basically one single thing; the individual Ego. Lifelong attitudes can be very difficult to ‘unwind,’ and we can’t realistically suggest that men should be able to simply wake up one morning having developed an attitude with regard to their sexual tastes that is the reverse of the one they took to bed the night before. But what we CAN suggest is that men at least develop the courage to be honest with themselves. How many men are there who harbor their obsessions with big girls in secret? Jerk off to pictures of a 300 lbs. woman tonight, then go out the next day preaching intolerance against them. It’s more common than you’d like to think. These men are afraid of facing derision in the company of their peers for having sexual preferences that fly in the face of the beer commercial standard for taste in women. Well, guess what, guys? Your bro’s will get over it. I know. I’ve been open about my preference for Real Women for years, and not one of my friends has yet disowned me over it.

Of course, sometimes it’s more than just peer pressure that stands in the way of emotional honesty. Many men who secretly love Big Girls actually feel within themselves that there is something ‘sick’ or ‘perverted’ about their preference. In every arena of their own circles they are hit up with the message that fat girls are ugly, that there is something disgusting about such a woman. This is a far more serious issue than the one outlined above. The first man knows he’s cool, he just doesn’t think his friends will ‘get it.’ The second man actually thinks he’s abnormal in some profound way. To this individual, I’d like to send the right message. Dude, it’s OK! Come on out of the closet and embrace your loves and your passions, not only for Real Women, but for anything else you feel strongly about, and which the world tries to tell you is wrong. Because this, people, is at the root of ALL problems that involve prejudice, namely, that culture deals in stereotypes. That’s all it knows. The very message of mainstream society is HOMOGENIZATION. That’s all that matters. To the extent that you want to be yourself, you’re considered a freak. To the extent that you want to be like the majority, you’re normal. Is there any more ridiculous measure of our worth than the degree to which we can lump ourselves together with a world full of bigots and losers? Time to get your heads on straight.

So now we see the truth of the stick-figure preference exposed for what it really is; the mindless promotion of a status-quo mentality that doesn’t even understand its own foundations and existence. Now, to all you Real Women out there, and to the men who love you, I hope you’re beginning to see that the reasons for your being ostracized by mainstream culture stem from the very fact that you are SO FAR AHEAD OF IT! Real Women and their lovers are leading the cultural movement toward the embracing of the ‘One World’ philosophy that is so critical in bringing an end to the enmity between all the diverse peoples and cultures that make up our planet. Am I saying that loving a fat chick will heal the world? Actually, I am. But don’t do it because you feel sorry for them in some way. They already stand far beyond the reach of your pity. Do it because it’s an honest expression of who you are. Of course, I’m not suggesting that our troubled world can be healed of its stupidity overnight. What I would like to suggest is that everywhere and in every way possible people begin to hear the message of tolerance. It’s something we can all promote in almost every area of daily life. It’s something that a so-called ‘free’ society should possess as an integral feature of its very identity. But sadly it is an element that is often entirely absent in the world-views of men. There may well be little legitimate hope of changing the existing attitudes of prejudice and intolerance among those who have been inculcated with these poisons throughout their lives, but we have to get on board with the understanding that we CAN change these attitudes in the future and we must be committed to doing so. In closing, let me remind you that Real Women rule, and that Hate is the only universally ugly thing in our midst. Now, let’s get on with the business of changing the world.

*Images courtesy of BODacious Magazine. Right on, Zik.

☺ Oversized and imperfect shapes have many culprits: low sense of self-worth, unflattering image of physical self, lack of self-respect and self-confidence, bad habits, stinking thinking, and on and on. Mostly, however, it’s food intake inspired by frustration, loneliness, or discomfort tied in with some or all of the above.

☺ Her size and shape too easily mislead her thinking. For example, the nagging voice about weight is her enemy. Nagging herself, just as nagging a man, produces unintended consequences.

☺ Her size, shape, and presentation of body is her choice—past, present, and future. Self-interest and common sense say she should forever make her body and its appearance follow what she decides is best for her future.

☺ Guilt about the past is counterproductive. Self-promises loaded with great intentions about a brighter future can be productive—even when her ‘great intentions’ later dim to ‘almost got there’.

☺ Loneliness can’t be escaped, only deferred. It must be overridden by a comfort with herself different from what shopping, pizza, snacks, and munchies bring. Living up to something bigger than herself helps. (Turn her heart over to the Lord, and loneliness will not trouble her. Avoiding calories also becomes simpler and much easier.)

☺ Her outside appearance attracts a man, her inside virtues hold him.

☺ Virtue has its own rewards. It makes tough decisions easier, and adds to her importance and self-respect.

☺ Faith in the Lord uplifts her spirit. Belief in man—Humanism—discourages it.

☺ Loneliness comes from self-centeredness. Sincere giving of herself to others drives out self-centeredness and, consequently, loneliness.

☺ What she thinks about, she gets. (Our subconscious takes us toward what we think about whether good or bad, desired or undesired, liked or hated, feared or coveted.)

☺ Everything for which she can be grateful adds to her happiness.

☺ Ungratefulness for her body compounds grief out of all proportion to her body’s importance in successful living.

The female nature begrudges every flaw. Her mushy thinking keeps focus on them all.

But anyway thanks for stopping by my blog, really : )

Ok first am a 20 year old single female with too many goals and wish I would at least finish one of them. But my biggest goal is weight loss and I want to update it from my weight gain to weight loss to my over eating ect. and if I do….like today I promise I will post it.  I would like to blog everyday if possible and if my laziness does not get in the way of things.

The last time I weighed I was 271 pounds and that was a month ago and I have still not tamed my large carvings for sweets,salty things,chewy….ok food in general and it sucks everytime I try and now I found out I have high blood pressure I try not to think of that much because if I do my thinking may cause me to get a heart attack. No joke.

I don’t want to type so much now but maybe again later or tommorrow…and tomorrow I start my new job…guess where?

Really guess!

Wendys….lol the worse place for someone of low will power and I can get weak for there burgers. But other then wishing me will power tomorrow wish me luck on doing well tomorrow and not to mess up something. Am already feeling kinda shy everyone seemed friendly but one older lady…yikes and when I said thank you for getting the manager she looked at me and that was it but she was fat too, maybe she hates younger workers or just doesn’t like me? Maybe she didn’t hear me…then why did she look at me?

Repeats to self : work is to work not making friends.

                             work is to work not making friends.

                            work is to work not making friends.

                           ….ok I think I got now.

Before I go here are my states.

Weight: Unknown really last time I weighed was like last month at 270 could be bigger or the same.

Height: 5’10

Measurements…yikes : (

Around stomach: 51 1/2

Upper right arm: 18

upper left arm: 18 1/2

Chest area: 45 I hate the sagging part.

Right thigh:32

Left thigh:32

The above are inches of course.

But I hate how I have a roll on each side of me,and the fat that hangs from my back its gross, then my knees and calfs or fat,I have some fat in my neck GOD ITS JUST EVERYWHERE!!!

This reminds me when I was about 17 and made a phone call to this hotline number to help people who starve on purpose and thoes of us like me who can’t put it down sometimes. Being fat is so differant you need food to eat so its impossible to leave it alone all together like drugs, you need food to live. Anyway back on subject…The Call.

Ring  Ring

 Lady: Hi how may I help you this is ____ from _______what is your problem?

Me: um..hi, am overweight.

……..a pause something is coving the phone my guess is her hand.

Back round: Its another one for overweight

Guy in backround: oh.

Lady: ok just call this number for them to help you.

Me: ok thanks.

Does anyone else see anything wrong with that call? I didn’t bother calling that other number was kinda hurt I guess being fat is not nothing to care about being fat means your only lazy at all times,eat food 24/7,and burps and drink sodas and should never come out.

I guess if i was one of thoes super thin girls I would get some advice from her and she would care forget the phatie I guess.

Anyway I better go I hate how my cravings go wild, I will try a a diet idea tomorrow will tell more on that next time…I hope I don’t mess up at work its worse when you mess up and your fat. Your seem as clumsy but thin it was a mistake. And no am not making this up other people who are over weight well most would agree with me.