Jag kan ibland vara lite dryg mot folk i min närhet –  det är en slags kärleksförklaring. En barnslig sida av mig, borde kanske sluta, men jag har ju så kul…

Ett exempel; jag och jämtländskan såg den underbara filmen “Lars and the real girl”.

Patricia Clarkson spelar läkare och jämtlänskan säger “hon är en av mina favoriter”.

Dagen efter ser vi Clarkson i en annan film – då kommer ett drygomoment.

– Där är hon igen, säger jämtis.

– Vem, svarar jag frågande.

– Hon från filmen vi såg i går, förtydligar jämtis.

– Vilken film?

– Men, filmen vi såg i går, Lars and the real girl, hon var läkare till dockan.

Sedan följer ytterligare några frågor, svar och förtydliganden – innan mina mungipor och varenda smilgrop har the time of their lifes. Jämtlänskan frustar “men åhhh!!!”…

Jag älskar henne.

Alright funny heading, but Ryan Gosling really is a great actor and now a great musician. I am sure the majority of you don’t remember YTV’s Breaker High anyway… So we all know that Disney own’s and runs almost the entire world, even Communist China has a Disney World… think it’s a coincidence… I think not. Also why do you think that Britney Spears is still in our lives almost every day even though she really does nothing of any importance anymore, or really ever did. It’s all part of their master plan… Ok I’m getting off topic here, we will cover Disney’s world domination another time. How did I get here again oh yeah Dead Man’s Bones and Ryan Gosling, well Ryan used to be a Mickey Mouse Club Member, for those of you that didn’t know. By the looks of the video I posted below (do yourself a favor and fast forward to 1:45 into the video) Ryan almost became part of one of Disney’s boy band/killer assassins groups, like fellow member JT. I think the only reason he was saved from this fate is because he’s Canadian, we are harder to brainwash. I’m sure it’s true, look it up, Google it, I’m too lazy. So luckily he escaped the grasps of Disney World because even though he did take part in such embarrassing projects as “Breaker High“, “Young Hercules“, and “The Mickey Mouse Club” he has taken a turn for the better and has taken part in such projects as “The Believer“, “Half Nelson“, and “Lars and the Real Girl” and now “Dead Man’s Bones“. The debut self titled album is the brain child of Ryan Gosling and Zach Shields and was released on  October 6, 2009, just in time for a couple pre-Halloween performances. Which is fitting considering the ghoulish feel to Dead Man’s Bones’ music. After listening to the album the first time I felt like Glen Danzig, Dracula, and The Big Bopper had a love child together. I’m not sure if that will make any sense to any of you but that’s what went through my head. Musically the album is very striped down with simplistic riffs and heavy drum beats on the tom tom drums, but has a much grander feeling to it with the help of a full choir. The music has an up beat feel to it much like that of music from a simpler time… the 50’s, but with a very dark overtone. I can not say how much this all appeals to the my personal music tastes. I really was not expecting to be blown away by Ryan Gosling’s first album, but I honestly was. The whole album is strong all the way through but the stand outs for me were ” Pa Pa Power”, “Dead Man’s Bones”, “Lose Your Soul”, “My Body is a Zombie for You”, and “In the Room Where You Sleep”, which is almost the entire album… you get the idea. I recently saw the band at Venue and was thoroughly impressed. The set design and costume design was very fitting with the music. The show stopper came in the form of one of the grade 11 student choir members. Jane Agyeman blew everyone away when performing her solo part in the cover of “Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)”. The sell out crowd went nuts as it was one of those moments where you hear someone sing and it sends chills down your spine. I think even the band was taken aback. My only complaint of the whole night was that Ryan’s fame took away from the performance, as you had to listen to groupie girls that were not there for the music, talk about how hot Ryan was during the sets and then yell various intelligent things at him between songs such as “We love you Ryan” and “Take off your shirt”. I did not allow this to get to me though and enjoyed every minute of the show as Ryan and Zach and the choir of Carson Graham secondary all proved themselves to be great performers.  Please take the time to watch some of the videos below, you will not be disappointed.

Jag fastnar framför dokumentären Guys and dolls som finns på sidan Top Documentary Films.

Den väcker en massa tankar. Jag frågar mig om de väljer att leva med dockor för att de inte tycker att de själva är värda en riktig tjej eller för att de inte tror att de kan få någon.

Någon beskriver det som “a higher form of masturbation”.

Det får mig också att tänka på grabbarna som lusläser the Game och går med i Charismatic Revolution. Killarna i dokumentären om real dolls har gått ett steg längre och avsagt sig chanserna och arbetet med raggning. Mycket handlar om kontroll när de pratar om sina dockor, om hur de kan bestämma över dem. De sminkar, köper kläder och borstar dockornas hår. Det finns t o m speciella “läkare” för real dolls, de kan serva och byta olika delar som slitits eller gått sönder. De som tillverkar dockorna berättar om hur de skräddarsys för att passa killens smak. Man kan t ex välja hur mycket könshår ens docka ska ha. Jag reagerar dock på att samtliga dockor ser ut som barbiedockor i kroppen, på det sättet påminner de inte särskilt mycket om “riktiga kvinnor”. På den här sidan kan man även hitta manliga real dolls, de ser ut ungefär som Ken. Jag vet inte hur vanligt det är att någon verkligen har en real doll hemma. Det finns också aspekten av att man kanske tänder på att det är en docka, d v s man är inte ute efter en verklig kropp att knulla. Här diskuterar några killar sina erfarenheter av att knulla uppblåsbara dockor.

Vad som fångar mig är flykten från rädslan att bli ensam. Vissa kanske drabbas av den i 21-årsåldern, andra aldrig. Killarna och deras real dolls fjärmar sig från rädslan och väljer något annat. I en av kommentarerna skämtar någon till det och skriver

“Having a real doll as a girlfriend is like having a rock as a pet”

(Att ha en uppblåsbar docka som flickvän är som att ha en sten till husdjur)

Vi skrattar lite åt det där, men någonstans fastnar skrattet i halsgropen.

Filmen Lars and the real girl kom i våras

A mid-week review of what recently happened in my life:

• Monday: learned that there is a new and possibly more powerful strain of A (H1N1).  I hope we can get vaccinated soon.  I also received an offer to relocate abroad to work but it’s still not settled yet.

• Tuesday: cried my guts out because of the possibility of leaving the country and ruining all my plans for the coming months.  I also lost my phone that morning because of my absent-mindedness.  Luckily, Anika gave me a new phone and Miko gave me a new SIM card on the same day. Yay!  Attended a marketing planning for my most favorite client of all in Astoria Plaza.

• Wednesday: I finally tasted Lucky Me Mac and Cheese.  It was awful, I think but out of curiosity, I had to try it.  I also had a little chitchat with my boss, Brad Geiser, about long-distance relationships.  Oh the things I talk about with my boss! Hahahaha!  Because it was such a funny conversation, I got to my cousin’s condo pretty late so I had to sleep over.  I also watched Lars and the Real Girl but didn’t finish it.

• Thursday:  Woke up to my cousin yelling, “Charmaine, you’ll be late for work!” So I had to rush and take a shower.  While eating breakfast, I watched the new episode of Big Bang Theory.  I think this made my day really happy.  I went to 2 coverages today and finally got home at around 11 pm.  I managed to squeeze in a short Skype conversation with my cheesiest Canadian of all and found out that he is meeting a girl he sort of had a thing with in the past when he comes to Manila.  Hahahaha!  Should I be jealous?  What do you think?

Things to look forward to in the coming days:

• Friday:  Another fun fun fun day at work.  I am going to have an interview for an article in Sucat—the very far away Sucat. Haha.  But I plan to go home early to sleep because I have a long day on Saturday.

• Saturday:  I’m going to interview past parish priests in our church for the 25^th anniversary commemorative souvenir programme that my mom volunteered me to lead.  Afterwards, I’m heading to the World Trade Center for a coverage in the afternoon.  After that, I have a get-together with my high school friends in the evening. If I still have time after the dinner, I will go to The Cure Night in Saguijo.  Haha! I imagine I will be so tired by then.

• Sunday: Sleeping in the whole day and probably get my hair done.  In the evening, I’m going to an art exhibit opening in Quezon City I think.

My life just flies by so fast.  Just a month and a half to go before the happy month of January 2010. Yahoo!

ryan gosling.
if you haven’t seen Lars and the Real Girl, go see it.
if you haven’t listened to Dead Man’s Bones, download it here.

After I post this, I’m going to watch Lars and the Real Girl. It’s an amazing movie and, in my opinion, it’s Ryan Gosling’s best work to date.

For more Gosling googling… check out his band, Dead Man’s Bones, performing in a cemetery in LA.

You can do so many things with a blowup doll, but never touch it, that’s crazy.

Ryan Gosling plays the title character in this oddball comedy about a delusional young man who buys a life-size sex doll over the Internet — and then falls in love with her.

If you told me that one of my favorite movies of the year is from the same dude that brought me Mr. Woodcock, I would’ve thought you were crazy. The whole synopsis sounds so indie and quirky but it doesn’t get that way at all.

The thing I mostly admire from the film is that it never plays for any cheap or raunchy laughs, instead Director Dan Gillepsie handles the screenplay with such care, that I tried to keep myself from crying in the last 50 minutes in this movie when Lars and everyone around him realize what the doll is doing to their lives, even if they don’t say it out loud.

The movie is a very strange fable and sort of has a sort of story like Edward Scissorhands, but what I mostly liked in this film was the handling of the townspeople towards the doll. We see how even though she can’t communicate at all, with anyone except for Lars, we still create this character that we the viewers and everyone else in the movie have that surely makes this a wonderful look at how the strangest things can change your life forever.

Ryan Gosling, one of my favorites, proves once again that he can act and carry a movie through and through. In the beginning of the film we see a character that is very awkward with the people around him even though he has a good heart, but as soon as the doll comes into his life we see Lars the character lighten up and makes him a character to root for. The rest of the cast does very well including the still very good looking Patricia Clarkson who still tries to help Lars and brings the heart to this film.

Only problem I had with this film that Edward Scissorhands had was that there was really no conflict in this movie between some townspeople and Lars himself. I thought if they added this to the film the film would have added in more drama and more realistic being to the film.

Consensus: Do not have the premise fool you one bit, Gosling gives a great performance in this well-handled script, that has some of the most tear-jerking moments in cinema history. Also has a great message that shows that love come within the strangest things.

9.5/10=Full Price!!

Got my first hit on the search term “sex doll” courtesy of my tiny review of Lars and the Real Girl.

It’s the little things, you know.

And sorry if that wasn’t what you were looking for, web searcher….

Tá, aparentemente é só uma boneca mas depois que assisti até eu entrei na onda da cidade inteira e comecei a ver Bianca como uma pessoa normal - ela até fazia trabalho comunitário em escolas e hospitais. Pra quem curte um drama esse é super divertido, vale a pena e – importante lembrar – não é idiota. Eu disse “sortuda” pelo romance com o Lars que mesmo com a tal  delusional sickness bota no chinelo muita gente sã. Inventar a própria realidade e fazer com que as pessoas ao redor a tornem legítima foi a parte legal de assistir! Quatro estrelas pro filme e super recomendo! Dirigido por Craig Gillespie. Com Ryan Gosling, Emily Mortimer, Paul Schneider. 2007

So right around the time the movie “Lars and the Real Girl” came out, I went through a period of fascination with Real Dolls  (website NSFW)- dolls that are customizable and made to look like real women. Men spend thousands of dollars on these dolls and many treat them as if they are real women. Watch this documentary for a creepy, yet fascinating look into the lives of these men.

If this is not creepy enough, check out this post on The Frisky which describes the advent of a doll along the same line as Real Dolls, but it is meant to be a sex doll and has a heavy breathing function and a G-Spot. The company, First Androids (beware the website is in German and hard to navigate), has received 4 MILLION orders for these dolls, which cost $3820.

And I thought a movie about Barbie was bad.

Every once in a while you see something online that blows your mind a little with it’s utter off-the-wall weirdness. As you can imagine it takes a lot to really disturb me. Yes, I watch stuff that shocks me, disgusts me but very rarely mentally disturbs me and has me questioning what’s wrong with the world (to be honest that feeling stopped after a few months of watching granny porn). Thanks to the fantastic PopPorn Blog, I saw something today which kinda blew my mind. Have you ever seen that film with Ryan Gosling called Lars And The Real Girl, where he plays a total loner living in his brother’s outhouse who orders a sex doll and is convinced she’s actually alive, called Bianca and his girlfriend. His doctor persuades the entire town to play along with his fantasy. Strangely (but kindly) they conceed and it’s a really sweet but cringingly funny film. It’s great, honestly, watch it. Anyway, back to porn. So I saw this today. It’s called Regarding Jenny and it’s central character is a Real Doll called Jenny. These things are crazy expensive but even still, to see one in an actual porno is just downright bizarre. Please watch the trailer, it’s totally SFW and so so weird.

As the good people at PopPorn say “I can’t decide what I liked better – the visual of the doll “fingering” Jade Houston or the part where the dude puts a drink in her hand, which has got to be one of the absolute saddest things I’ve ever seen in my life. Getting a sex doll drunk so she’ll screw you?” That bit is actually done really weirdly. Actually it’s all done weirdly. They stroke her hair, give her a bath (which by way is my favourite bit), we think she may even be doing yoga at one point. It’s like 3 minutes 14 of utter WTF.

I thought at first it might be a piss take. But no. You can watch it on Hot Movies. No joke.

(Via @PopPornBlog. Follow them on twitter to get the news straight away!)

I love the movie “Lars And the Real Girl”. For those of you that are not inclined to watch it because you think it is about a man and his blow-up doll, you are somewhat correct. There is a man in it who has a “life-sized doll named Bianca”. But it might not be what you think. Even the back of the DVD cover does not describe the movie the way I see it.

I can’t remember what made me actually want to watch it, but something did and I am so glad because it was NOTHING like I expected. I expected a comedy. While there is some humor in it and it makes me laugh, it makes me cry more. It is, in my opinion a very, very touching movie.

Now, I think that might be enough for those of you that don’t like to know too much, but thought this was a silly movie. For those of you that don’t mind knowing more, read on. 

It is a silly movie, there is a life-size doll in it for heaven’s sake, but it also an amazing movie. It is really about a person having “stuff” in his life and how he deals with it. We all handle different things in different ways. This movie is about how Lars handles his “stuff”. But what I find amazing and I am getting teary-eyed just thinking about it, is how the town handles the way he handles his stuff. They are the most amazing people that I could ever hope to meet.

It is a small town so the whole town can get involved. In big cities like San Jose or big areas like the Bay Area, I don’t think this would have worked as well.

The Townspeople where Lars live rally around him. They do everything—they go out of their way—to support Lars and to help him through this period in his life. They are so incredible. I have only seen this movie twice. And the first time I was just in awe and wondering what was going to happen and how it was going to work out. The second time, I knew what was going to happen (basically, I didn’t remember everything), but I was still in awe. In fact I had more of achance to be in awe because I wasn’t wondering what was going to happen.

I  honestly can’t say that I would be as strong and wonderful as the people in this movie.  Their patience was exercised to the fullest!  I don’t think I could or would take time out of my life for a plastic doll, but then again, they didn’t do it for the doll, they did it for Lars. They decided to particpate in his delusion because they realized that it was what he needed. So maybe I could, but I don’t know, I just think they were so amazing.

This is my “whatever” day —- Thursday, so I am just sharing a bit about a movie that I think was really good, but I think might get overlooked by some who would really enjoy it, but are turned off by the name and the idea of it. So, if you have not seen it and you are still reading, please, rent it or see it however you view movies. I think you will like it.

Just as I was about to post this I had another thought, that my Nia Friends might really enjoy this because it is about letting someone do what they need to do.  In a sense, allowing someone to follow their own “body’s way” (even though it was more his mind).

If you have seen it, what did you think?

So, it started like any other conversation between Marco and Lollipop, who sometimes operates under her real name, Maria Diaz, with Marco asking Lollipop for advice about something – since she frequently acts in the capacity of an Oracle – and then her telling him about a new writing gig she’s got coming up, something that will have her getting down and dirty, rubbing elbows up close with celebrities. She mentions a slight nervousness about it and Marco, being Marco, suggests, “You could always achieve worldwide internet notoriety by throwing red paint on Megan Fox or something, right?”

Maria Diaz: Noooooo. Not what I want to do. She terrifies me. Especially since she’s completely man-made.

Marco Sparks: Yeah, she looks like she was put out by the same company that releases those Todd McFarlane action figures.

MD: Someone somewhere on the internet dug up some photos from before she got all that plastic surgery. It was remarkable.

Marco: How significant were the changes?

MD: See for yourself. Plastic surgery is so insidious. All the doctors get taught the same techniques, so everyone comes out looking the same. But I can see how it could get addictive.

Marco: Yeah, there’s always a disorder in which you need more physical alterations to your appearance.

MD: Until you turn into a CAT LADY!

Marco: Like on Nip/Tuck?

MD: Yes. But really… there is something neat about getting to say, FUCK YOU, NATURE!

Marco: I believe in the swarthy, unbridled power of the human intellect,

for the better or the worse, that we can rise above what we are given and change that which we don’t like or that which could hurt us. I mean, there’s a reason that the life expectancy is like 60 years longer now than it was for people our age, what… 100 years ago? Of course, with that comes new disorders and syndromes that can be very harmful.

But I’ve been reading more and more lately about augmented reality, AI, and sentient/spiritual machines (a la Ray Kurzweil) and probably within 200 or so years, the new plastic surgery won’t be changing your face, your body, etc. It’ll be about making yourself more machine-like.

MD: I think that’s so far off, though. Substantially far off. We won’t ever see it.

Marco: No, we won’t, certainly. Like I said, easily 200 or so years.

Benjamin Light and I were just talking about Terminator 2 earlier, and how the vision of… 2019, I think it was, from back in 1997, was homicide bots with working mobile laser cannons and hover attack drones and the future there, while so grim, was so futuristic-y! But realistically? No, not so soon.

But we’ll start to see the slow advances of it. Within 15 years there’s a good chance that for under a $1000 you could be able to own a computer that has at least the computing powers and space of the human brain.

MD: You really think it’ll be that accessible?

I always hesitate to make these kinds of statements because I think they’re American-centric and specific to people with a certain amount of education and/or money. It’s going to take a long time till everyone is up to speed and these kinds of futuristic robot-people become the norm. Even Real Dolls are still out of most people’s price ranges and I think that’s certainly an indication of how future factory jobs/cleaning jobs will turn to. Kind of like the ending of Shaun of the Dead.

Marco: You’re right about the financial aspect of it, but then again, it really becomes a matter of time and manufacturing costs and, of course, the basis for American business language: supply/demand.

But I think it’s coming. Though I can’t put a serious guess on how fast or over the course of what timeline. I can only guess.

That’s one of the things I like about these highly celebrated futurists, and the game of the future in general, that you’re not so much an oracle as just half making educated predictions, and half selling fables of the far off tomorrow that only have to sound a little credible. You go read an article in Wired about the amazing new things that nanotechnology can do each day and then you come back to me and I tell you that within six months, all plastic surgery will be nanosurgery and for just a moment, a scary moment, it sounds half way possible.

MD: Oh, totally.  It’s like a few years ago when the tech came out for identifying things via a thumb-print that would have your ATM pin, and all of your info on it and all the “sky is falling” press that came out of that. You start to get spooked and think it is all entirely possible.

Marco: And, while jumping over body modification a little here, we don’t talk nearly enough about the good things that could be coming, with science and medical breakthroughs and what have you. Maybe partly because it’s so locked down, like stem cell research. Or maybe because all people want is cures of AIDS and cancer, the regrowth of lost limbs, and the Higgs-Boson. Or cold fusion!

MD: Cold fusion! That’s a pop culture reference I’m forgetting.

There’s lots of good things that come out of this, like robots performing surgery. I think there is one called the Da Vinci arm? They can do surgery in a much more precise way than a doctor who maybe had too much coffee or gets distracted for a milisecond and one tiny move can mess the whole thing up. Or robots who dispense medication. Those are a complete trip to see, but again, save lives and do a lot of good since they remove a lot of the error. Of course, it all depends on humans who program these things.

Marco: Until the robots start programming the humans who program the robots. And, of course, I’ll take the low road and speak for every man who just read that someday a robot might be performing surgery on him: Where’s the robot that can jack me off too?

There’s actually a joke on the new Patton Oswalt album about robots that can deliver babies better than human doctors, except for that rare 1 in 100 times glitch in which the robot skins the baby and turns it into an ipod case. “Murder spasms,” I think he called it.

Be honest: How shocked would you be if tomorrow it was revealed that Megan Fox was actually a project the Japanese started ten years ago in crafting the ultimate pop starletbot?

MD: The answer to any and all questions is always the Real Doll. Do you reallly want a robot giving you a handjob? Let’s be real, here.

And to answer your question: I would not shocked at all.

Marco: Would I really want a handjob from a robot? Well, a handjob is a lot different from other kinds of sex, which is a bullshit kind of kind that I could intellectualize to death for no real good. No, I probably don’t want to fuck a robot. Not in a way that I could imagine right now. Though I have a very unique, very special, very disturbingly fun imagination, so ask me again later. But then again, by the time we all get oral pleasure bots, we may be living in a very different type of world, morals-wise.

Megan Fox being a robot created by the Japanese to start in a Michael Bay movie about fighting giant super Robots that can turn into cars and shit would be a fascinating movie all of it’s own. Didn’t Al Pacino star in some movie years ago about a computer generated starlet?

MD: You can’t say something like that and then now follow up, son. “Not in a way you could imagine right now…” Then what way? Would sex with robots be more akin to masturbation? Would it just be novelty? Would it replace human interaction entirely? I’m sure for some people, it would.

Yes, Pacino was in such a movie. It was called Simone and it sucked.

Marco: As I was typing out that paragraph, I was remember the future episode of Newsradio where they talk about how sex with robots is so much better than sex with humans. You have to remember that I’m an old school sci fi geek so, on this subject, my brain is a mash up of Asimov’s three laws and the Jane/Sex bot counterpart to Jude Law’s Gigolo Joe from Spielberg/Kubrick’s A.I.

Would sex with robots become masturbation 8.0 or a new novelty or just replace human interaction entirely? Yes. And for some people, that may be a good thing. We’ve all seen that documentary on the Real Dolls, right? As much as we snicker at guys like Davecat, I can’t help but think where he and that old British man would be if they didn’t have those real dolls in their lives, you know? I clearly remember the British man taking his real dolls on holiday, a nice drive out into the country, but before he goes, he puts a sign on the doll saying, “I AM A DOLL,” so should he get into an accident or something, no one will risk their life trying to safe her. Because she’s not a real human being. A bit off subject, but that fascinated me. The man lived on that very blurry edge of fantasy and reality, but he knew which was which. And he made a happy little home for himself there.

Part of the real I say it’s hard to answer the question now about sex with robots in a future point is look at our ever evolving hang ups about sex. We’re so quiet and insecure about so much, yet even that changes bit by bit. Years ago a man probably wouldn’t have openly admitted to masturbation (and especially not a woman)(and I’m thinking of Betty Draper on that washing machine as I say that), but now it can be dinner party talk for a bunch of yuppies between discussing the latest gossip of what’s going on down at the tennis club and how socialist they think Obama’s health care plan is. “Ha ha, so Janet and the in-laws walks in on me jacking off to the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue…”

Now just replace that same dinner party with one 50 years from now. “Ha ha, so Edmund walks in on me on all fours getting a spanking from LX-9000…”

MD: You know, when I saw that real doll documentary, I always thought that if Davecat had just hung out in the right chat rooms or gone to a small, liberal arts college where nerds get laid, he never would have needed that real doll. It doesn’t seem happy to me at all, it just seems sad. Especially that other guy who was so clearly completely paralyzed by the death of his mother.  They did bring them some joy as he took her out on drives and such, but so much of that was just projection. They’re just setting themselves up for failure, they will never be able to relate to a woman who talks back. I could see sex robots becoming the new sex worker in that way, you know?

Marco: Yeah, exactly. But imagine in this bright new future where we have sex robots aiding us in our carnal needs, these robots actually get respect. As much as a robot can. Now, I know it’s a sad thought that a robot as a sex worker would get more respect than a human as a sex worker, but isn’t that just how humans work?

MD: I see it going the opposite, that the robot would get treated much worse. Since you know, it’s just a robot and would be seen as even more property (if that’s possible) than a human.

Marco: That’s true. And part of me hopes it stays that way, not from a sex with machines perspective, but from a relation between robots and humans kind of way. I don’t want to get into the idea of the human soul or spark or noumenon too much, but hopefully in the future, when they make the robots… they’ll leave that out…

Of course, that would suck for WALL-E, wouldn’t it?

But then again, if they ever build robots with programming advanced enough to satisfying us sexually – which, granted, I know isn’t that complex since bored and curious guys have been getting the same thrill from the hose on the vacuum cleaner – who knows where AI and sentience in machines will be. To take it back to the language of pop culture nerdery: Data from Star Trek: TNG. Ever evolving, creating himself as an existing being, and fully functional sexual and “programmed in a variety of methods.”

MD: Well…for it to really work, it would have to beyond that base level of just getting you off. If that’s all that mattered, then women would just stick with vibrators, which, let’s be honest, are usually better/more efficient at getting the job done than any man. And I’d reckon that a vacuum cleaner probably gives a more proficient blowjob than any girl/guy. HOWEVER, if they could program the robot with human touches, that would change the game. Do you know what I mean?

Marco: Exactly. Like I said, it wouldn’t be about getting you off. It’d be about being a lover.

I love how we’ve gone from talking the future and robotics to… fuck machines.

Maybe that’s how the machines will eventually kill us. They’ll give us what we seem to all secretly want: to have sex with a machine. They’ll learn how to plug themselves into the wall and then they’ll jackhammer us right out of existence. Death by Kiwi, people.

MD: Speak for yourself!  I can think of nothing less appealing. Well, I can think of a few things, but that’s pretty high on the list.

Ultimately, I think that’s the thing here.. we think we want robots to automate everything, but it’s not easier. It just creates a new set of problems.

Marco: And that’s how we work, right? Today, tomorrow, yesterday. We like to make things simpler. And then we make them more complex!

MD: To use the words of Sean Combs… mo money, mo problems. Or … mo robots, mo problems?

Marco: Jesus, look at us. From Megan Fox to plastic surgery to robots to robot sex to Diddy. That makes sense, I think. Right?

MD: From two crazy people, yes.

Lars and the Real Girl is the most gentle, uplifting, family- friendly film ever to star a sex doll.

And if you’re lucky you might still find it in your local Walmart DVD dump bins for about half or less of what online retailers are selling it for. That’s where I got my copy.

You might wonder why anyone would review a movie that came out two years ago. My excuse is that I don’t like to watch movies as soon as they hit the theatres, the hype is a turn off (remember 300?) and I am just too lazy. Hence my tendency to watch movies a while after all the hue and cry has died down (I know, two years seems a little much). Also, I am not a huge fan of watching movies with people who do the following:

1. Exclaim incessantly when watching the film. I know it’s shocking when children see ghosts, that’s not an excuse for gasping like a goldfish.
2. Constantly ask for explanations. If you spent half as much time actually watching the film, you wouldn’t need to ask why the alien had to go home.
3. Constantly shift on their chairs. The squeaking sounds are distracting and you’re really not that cute.
4. Lean too close to me. Hello, personal space rules still apply! And because I’m a very kind person, I would strongly suggest bringing along your favourite blankie or stuffed toy – you may be the laughing stock of the evening, but at least you didn’t cry like a girl.
5. Start conversations with the characters in the movie. I’ve got four words for you: they cannot hear you. More importantly, despite what one of the more popular assumptions about democracy might lead you to believe – your opinion does NOT matter.

Anyhoo, let me get back to my movie review.

I’ve decided to go to bat for…wait for it…trumpets are blaring…Lars and the Real Girl (like you didn’t already know). This quiet little film came out in late fall 2007 and did not get the notice it deserves. To sum the film up in the worst possible way, it’s about a guy who still carries his blankie everywhere he goes and orders a blow-up doll called Bianca for a girlfriend. Creepy, sad, and pathetic is how most people would describe such a person. Maybe he is all these things, but the film is really an exploration of how isolation leads to acts of desperation.  The film opens on a wintry scene somewhere in Small-town America. The people there are all about wholesome family values, decency, and friendliness – you get the picture. Along comes Lars (Ryan Gosling doing his best sad face), clearly socially inept and disconnected from those who love him and desperately want to help him. Then again, isn’t there a fine line between trying to be helpful and being irritating?

When Lars first asks to bring his new girlfriend over for dinner, his brother and sister-in-law (the ever earnest Emily Mortimer) are overjoyed at the prospect. The scene then pans over to the living room where they sit opposite Lars and Bianca, pricelessly stunned as Lars explains that Bianca is the quiet sort. For a second, you wonder if Lars is having one on his family, but then you realize the guy clearly needs an intervention. What follows is the portrayal of an exceptionally accepting community that attempts to help Lars work his way through a rather obvious and disturbing crisis. (Seriously, where is this place?) Lars needs Bianca, much like we need to make mistakes in order to learn. You cannot help but feel sorry for a guy who experieces burning sensations on his skin whenever he comes in physical contact with others – hence the layers of clothing he always piles on. This is what comes from being lonely. Bianca is an effort to learn how to be normal – albeit a rather unconventional learning method. We’ve all been in his place (hopefully not exactly in his place), and should be able to understand that working out how to fix a problem can be as messy as the problem itself.

The film stays afloat due it’s great sense of humour. In a lesser film, you would be pelted with the requisite blow-up doll jokes. Instead, it is everyone’s attempts to humanize Bianca that is a source of laughter. At one point the church committee gathers to discuss how to deal with Lars and Bianca. They even consider whether Lars is committing fornication (gotta love that word) and conclude that as Bianca is not a real person, he is still technically safe. Their attempts to find a religiously correct solution are touching and yet hilarious: “The question is, as always, what would Jesus do?” I can’t help but wonder if this one would have stumped Jesus too.

Lars eventually figures his way through, but Bianca’s exit is not as neatly handled as I expected. Like the townsfolk we also need a little patience to get through the movie as pacing is a slight issue. And perhaps the ending is a little too pat, redemption is never that easy in real life. But isn’t it what we should be aiming for?

(Added bonus, you can watch this film with anyone – literally. It’s a relief to go through a movie without cringing in embarassment.)

-MaheenH

Mine include the occasional rom com, gossip girl and using a chap stick (winter).

Mine would be her if she wasn’t thousands of £. GQ are running a feature on ‘Fembots’ this month and above is one made by RealDoll (where you can customise your own doll right down to eye colour…) which is the kind that features in the film  ‘Lars and the Real Girl‘ starring Ryan Gosling.

Also featured this month is that girl who’s name starts with a Sienna and ends in a Miller.

x

2007: Lars and the real girl di Craig Gillespie

Grande accoglienza ai festival di Toronto e di Torino, sicuramente uno dei migliori film della stagione 2007/2008 e che ora è possibile vedere (o rivedere) sul satellite.

Critica giustamente entusiasta: Il Foglio: …bellissimo film. La Stampa: …brillante, ironico e divertente, ben fatto e ben recitato, a volte persino commovente.
La Repubblica: …uno dei film simpatici e originali visti da un po’ di tempo a questa parte. FilmUp: …qui c’è sostanza senza ruffianeria. Il Messaggero: Incredibile ma vero: dopo anni di commedie nere, di storie acide, di ‘cattivismo’ dilagante, ecco un film tutto buoni sentimenti che è anche un buon film. Corriere della Sera: …una messa in scena delicata e vicina ai toni della favola. Spaziofilm: Un titolo davvero consigliato per le emozioni che riesce a regalare.

Un’opera al limite dell’assurdo ma realizzata con tanta maestria  che tutto sembra credibile, coerente, accettabile.
Una commedia agrodolce, tenera e malinconica, dalla trama originale e sorprendente merito della sceneggiatrice Nancy Olivier (finora nota in campo televisivo, ha avuto la nomination all‘Oscar) e del regista Craig Gillespie (al suo primo lungometraggio dopo una vasta esperienza di videoclip).
Il film è stato distribuito in poche sale e ha avuto scarso successo commerciale sia negli Stati Uniti che in Italia, ed è un vero peccato: un piccolo gioiello che emoziona e coinvolge come pochi, offre molti punti di riflessione, esalta ciò che c’è di buono nell’essere umano ed ha inoltre il merito di invitare alla solidarietà, all’accettazione del diverso, alla “disponibilità e apertura per l’altro…” (Paolo Mereghetti).
Lars e una ragazza tutta sua è un’opera delicata e profonda, toccante e ricca di intelligente humour, amara e a tratti poetica, che ci induce a meditare sulla solitudine e su cosa si intenda per pazzia (senza cadere nella retorica e negli stereotipi).
Nessuna traccia di patetismo, nessuna banalità e ombra di buonismo, nessuna caduta nel boccaccesco e nei doppi sensi, nessuna facile e maligna ironia su un personaggio al di fuori della realtà che diventa adulto tramite vie inconsuete e paradossali: “…è la storia di un uomo e della sua comunità, la vicenda di una persona che può essere di oggi come di ieri, un ventisettenne che ha avuto paura per molti anni della vita come tanti l’hanno avuta per tutta la propria esistenza” (Andrea D’Addio).

Magistrale la prova di Ryan Gosling (premiato lo scorso anno con il Golden Globe, ma per un altro film, inedito da noi), veramente eccezionale nel ruolo non facile di un sociofobico dal comportamento apparentemente incomprensibile (ma lode all’intero cast costituito da attori uno più bravo dell’altro).

Note:

- Film indipendente, è stato girato in soli trentuno giorni.

- Premi e riconoscimenti su IMDb

Pubblicato su Cineocchio

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I just realized I’ve watched three movies in the past week and a half week and that’s probably the highest density of (new) movie watching I’ve ever experienced. Okay maybe not, still pretty cool.

I heard about “Lars and the Real Girl” when it came out in 2007 from one of my friends I think. She was showing me the Real Doll documentary on BBC and somehow it led to this movie (either she or Google found it). The trailer was pretty entertaining containing the first scene with real doll “Bianca”, protagonist Lars Lindstrom, his brother Gus, and his sister-in-law Karin. In addition, it also had one of the climaxes (in my opinion–the climax–but what do I know about movies) between Karin and Lars that I really, really liked. I’m sort of an audio-type person and her voice cracking was amazing in the trailer and good (but slightly overdone) in the movie. In addition, Kelli Garner is exceptionally attractive and plays the cute girl well (but, again, leaning on the corny side).

While I sort of figured from the trailer of the movie that this movie was going to be funny, but also thematically simple and trite, I mostly knew it would indulge in some crazy obsession I have. And it did indeed. You can’t help but wish you had Lars’ wonderful friends, relatives, town, and, of course, a really attractive girl who wants to get with you for absolutely no reason. The movie really delivers on that front and I can’t help but love it for the hour and 40 minutes it lasts only to hate it and become instantly bitter 10 minutes later.

As for the movie… it delivered on all of the other expectations I had of it. It was heartwarming, funny, and somewhat well delivered. The writing was pretty on-par and believable and the acting was well done by most of the main characters (I disliked Dagmar mostly). I really think the movie could’ve done with some music though instead of the nearly completeilence s that was probably a very close representation of how quiet whatever the hell state they live in (or, on second thought, they are probably just in Canada. Where the hell else do you find people that nice). Big props to Ryan Gosling, Emily Mortimer, and Paul Schneider.

*update* It was filmed in Canada according to imdb. Also the comments suggest that it takes place in northern Wisconsin (someone claimed a license plate had Wisconsin on it).

Lars and the real girl

By Dino Sossi – The Cambridge Student – April 24, 2008 – pp. 20-21

Delusion affects us despite our rationality; it’s really just a matter of degree. Whether it involves perceptions of self, the empathetic understanding of people with whom we associate, or the essential nature of the myriad situations we encounter on a daily basis, delusion can be a welcome option when confronted with a reality we find inconvenient, unfortunate or simply undesirable.

Lars and the Real Girl’s deft handling of a potentially farcical situation creates a surprisingly realistic portrait of the delusive relationship between a man and, well, a blow-up doll.

Ryan Gosling (The Notebook) plays the titular Lars, a reclusive soul damaged by a difficult familial past made worse by his brother Gus (Paul Schneider). Lars’ winsome sister-in-law Karin (Emily Mortimer) attempts to rescue him from his self-imposed exile in the family garage. Meanwhile Patricia Clarkson portrays Dagmar, the nurturing psychologist who advocates acceptance of Bianca, Lars’ plastic fantastic delusion.

The emotional realism of writer Nancy Oliver, director Craig Gillespie and cast are essential ballast to the instability caused by the introduction of a deux ex machina as atypical as a synthetic paramour.

Aside from minor irritants, such as the lack of a deeper exploration of the instigating incident that pushes the withdrawn Lars towards Bianca, or her too-neat, too-ready adoption by the town, the movie exemplifies the cinematically plausible response of a small community’s concern for a native son who has lost his way: go along with the benign delusion until he recovers.

As the centre of the film’s narrative universe, Gosling’s earnest adoption of Bianca as a subconscious means to reintegrate with society creates a focal point around which the rest of the cast responds in kind, pushing him towards the redemption required. The fanciful conceit engendered by focusing on an intense affection towards an inanimate object is overcome by the collectively grounded emotional responses to it.