thefoxfanzine blog wishes you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy & Prosperous New Year…

Craig Levein, who was manager of Leicester City from November 2004 to January 2006, has today been appointed Scotland coach.

Dundee United chairman Stephen Thompson wasn’t happy with the way the SFA approached his manager: “We have been treated shabbily but Craig has done a great job for us and leaves the team, and the club as a whole, in a much better position than it was when he arrived here.”
Sadly, that couldn’t be said of his time at Leicester…
City were just below a play-off place in the Championship when Micky Adams handed in his shock resignation, but were threatened with relegation when Levein was sacked.
The former Hearts and Scotland defender was a popular appointment and got off to a promising start at City, Coventry were beaten 3-0 in his first home game. But he appeared to misjudge the widening gap between Scottish and English football and the signings he brought south like: Alan Maybury, Mark de Vries, Stephen Hughes , Momo Sylla and Patrick Kisnorbo failed to perform with any kind of consistency.
City finished 15th in 2004-05,  but were sinking into the relegation mire when he was replaced by his assistant Rob Kelly in January 2006.
He is now charged with the mountainous task of reversing the slide of Scottish football and getting them to Euro 2012. 
We wish him luck… he’ll need it.

Merry Christmas, blog reader. I hope the festive season brings you nothing but joy and happiness. Unless you hate me and the blog – which of course begs the question as to why you’re reading it anyway.

With regard to the Christmas lights issue which I raised last week, I don’t have any objection to people putting some bright decorations on the outside of the house. It’s just that some go way beyond the acceptable boundaries of taste and respectability.

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Utterly chav-tastic

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I was in B&Q the other day and a lady in front of me in the queue was buying a Christmas tree. The shop assistant said: “Are you going to put this up yourself?”

Before allowing her to answer, I said: “No, she’s going to put it in the lounge…” Neither the lady or the staff member was sharp enough to appreciate the humour.

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Go on. Speak. Me? How?

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Although I’m not working at Pussycats on Christmas Eve, I will be there quite a bit over the festive season:

Sat 26th Boxing Day Fun

Sun 27th Costas’ Birthday Bash

This should be lively as Monday is a Bank Holiday and therefore most people will be out on the lash as they won’t be working the next day.

Thu 31st New Year’s Eve 2009 into 2010

Fri 1st Jan New Year’s Day

Sat 2nd Jan as normal

See the latest photos in the gallery at the world famous dj wanker website and see the official club pictures here.

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Is that a pearl necklace?

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Get into the festive spirit with these Christmas videos

From 1984, one of my all time favourite records – The Power of Love by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. I still have the 7″ vinyl in a gatefold sleeve. It was £1.50 well spent.

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Three years later, this wonderful collaboration made number two in the charts. The late, great Kirsty MacColl joined The Pogues in producing the spine-tingling Fairytale of New York. “You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot, Happy Christmas your arse I pray God it’s our last.”

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I’ll be surprised if I get one present this Christmas but I’m cool with that. I never know what to ask people to buy me and, in all honesty, I prefer to give than receive. In terms of presents, that is.

So what would be a nice treat from Santa??

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Santa opens his sack once a year

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I didn’t have a football match to report on last Saturday so just chilled out in the afternoon at my weekend retreat in Telford. The landlord was in charge of the remote control so we got a random selection of programmes…

* Have I Got News For You – very funny
* Chuckle Vision – what the f***?
* Friday Night with Jonathan Ross – excellent
* Live At The Apollo – decent
* EastEnders – wrist slashing rubbish
* An Audience With Freddie Starr – retro classic

I would’ve had Sky Sports Soccer Saturday on if the choice had been mine but the landlord doesn’t like football.

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Just found out that an Elvis impersonator used to live in the house. That’s true actually. I’m sure I saw his ghost in the living room one night. I was all shook up.

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There's no ghost, just your suspicious mind

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The Facebook Bit.

Status update of the week:

“Cnt wait 4 new year new start new me fuck the dickheads who ave hurt me this yr bt u aint keepin dwn i stand up n im proud ov wat i ave n got my dawta my fam n gd mates men cum n go my Princess fam n mates r 4 lyf”

People who read the blog who are unfamiliar with Facebook (there can’t be many) have asked if these status updates are genuine. Sadly, I have to admit, they are 100% genuine.

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Da kidz spk lyk dis. Init.

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I’ve changed the names on this status update because *Peggy* reads the blog and is a bit touchy… only joking *Peggy* you old goat!

Sat in McDonalds with Leah. Woman sits down next to us with her food alone. She had a large Big Mac meal, double cheeseburger, nine chicken nuggets and some of those cheese melt things!! She was about a size 12, so god knows where she stores it! Leah says in her very non subtle, non quiet voice ‘look how much food that lady has to herself and she hasn’t even got any kids with her, that’s greedy isn’t it mummy?’

Someone replied:

You should have said ‘Yes, Leah, she’s a greedy fat twat.’

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One of my FB friends went on a bit of a frenzy and joined loads of groups and fan pages on the same day – why she did this I really don’t know and I really don’t care. Although I care enough to share the information with you, obviously. She joined…

* “Why do I bother with you?”
* “Ignoring me? Two can play that game.”
* “Even though I hate you, I’d still shag you.”
* “Just because I like your status it doesn’t mean I like you.”

The nonsense continued…

* “Stop fucking around and just tell me how you feel.”
* “Tell me why you’re upset? I can’t – the reason is you.”
* “When I push you away, don’t leave – it’s times like that I need you to stay.”
* “I can switch from happy to psycho in less than two minutes … don’t go there.”

I really hope she’s not reading the blog – or if she is, she doesn’t realise I’m laughing at her. Oh, here’s some more she joined…

* “I love knowing you bitch about me then watching you be nice to my face.”
* “It still takes me ages to get to sleep on Christmas Eve.”
* “I’ve just got over liking you and then you text me and I’m back to square one.”

And then there was one more…

* “N Dubz are better than Linkin Park.”

Confirmation if confirmation was required… she’s mental.

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I did get an invite to join one group which seemed appropriate to me…

“I look at the menu for ages then just order what I always have.”

…but in the end I didn’t bother.

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It wasn't a kiss I wanted her to blow

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This is what we pay our taxes for.

Leicester Mercury:

“A hairdresser was caught smoking in the doorway of his salon when a council environmental health officer drove past. Matthew Charles Bates, of Michael Charles Hair Salon in Cross Street, Blaby, was fined £100 and ordered to pay £320 costs after the on-duty officer, waiting at traffic lights, looked out of her car and saw him having a cigarette in the doorway of his business.”

This salon is near where I live and the pavement by the business doesn’t attract many pedestrians as it’s not in a busy area. I doubt anyone was actually troubled by this guy having a fag outside. He’s now £420 worse off. I’ve even been into the salon and given the bloke a pack of fags and bottle of wine. I don’t know him but just wanted to show some support.

It’s typical of our over-zealous nanny state with people in jobs for the sake of being in a job and spreading misery. From what I can gather, the environmental officer was an officious jobsworth cock of the highest order. I hope she has a grim Christmas.

Health and Safety, my arse.

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Here’s another, erm, festive-ish video worth checking out… it’s Avid Merrion’s Proper Crimbo from 2003.

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Miley Cyrus was on the telly with Alan Carr last week. She’s still a spoilt, showbiz brat – not quite in the Jordan and Katona oxygen thief envelope but give it time.

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Not as good as her dad

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Tiger Woods is taking time off golf to work on his marriage. He’s been asked to appear in a pantomime – but they’ve had to rename the show.

“Woods in the Babes.”

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Why are con men called con men? They’re usually quite good so surely they should be called pro men.

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Michael Jackson fans.

Ensure you win the BBC3 show ‘Move Like Michael Jackson’ by lying very still in a box.

I suppose given the standard rate of decomposition, now is the perfect time for a Thriller comeback tour.

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I'm a bad-ass dead motherfucker cha'mone

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Have you noticed how contestants on reality shows like X Factor and Big Brother talk about going on ‘a journey’? Let’s hope that journey takes them back to where they belong – stacking shelves alongside the other non-entities in Asda.

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Top Tips from Viz magazine:

“Cat and dog owners – your pets have no concept of Christmas. Don’t buy them a card or present. It’s just silly.”

While the Top Tips page from Viz is deliberate sarcasm, there is actually more than a jot of truth in that.

I don’t put “Merry Christmas to Johnny, Clare, the kids and Rover the dog” in my Christmas card to you – so don’t put a fucking paw print in mine.

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Separated at birth – The footballer Theo Walcott and Marvin from JLS

Theo ?

Marvin ?

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And finally…

Remember this – a dog is not just for Christmas… with any luck there’ll be some left over for Boxing Day.

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Cheers for now,
Geoff / DJ Wanker

Leave a comment here or send feedback via Facebook or email

www.djwanker.com
www.facebook.com/djgeoffpeters
www.twitter.com/djwanker

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The DJW blog is brought to you in association with:

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Tantalize Beauty Salon, Madeley 01952 585853
Tantalize website

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Silver Fish Chippy, Wellington 01952 254627

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DW Sports Fitness Gym (JJB), Telford 01952 201113
dw sports website

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Shropshire’s finest clothing line
letthekidsdance website

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For the best, sexiest bedroom furniture, check out…
slideandhide website

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Booze and grub delivered to your door in Telford
Fast Food Frenzy – 07772 203 241

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Sophie’s Choice Cleaning, Telford 01352 779099 / 07816 519627
sophies choice cleaning website

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Central Taxis 01952 50 10 50
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To add your company here, please get in touch!

Filbert Street under a heavy fall of snow in the late 1930’s. 

The horse and cart makes it look like a scene from Doctor Zhivago… 70 years on we are still having games frozen off.

In 1957 there was big news on the home front when my sister Lindsay was born but around the world following the excitement of wars and revolutions in 1956 this particular year seems to have been less frenetic.

The Treaty of Rome established the Common Market, which was a deeply significant event that has shaped the recent history of modern Europe.  This has become the European Union and has undergone a number of expansions that has taken it from six member states in 1957 to twenty-seven today, a majority of states in Europe.  Britain joined in 1973 after a long period of being denied membership by France and in particular the ungrateful and Anglophobe President de Gaulle.

Harold MacMillan became the new Prime Minister of Britain when Anthony Eden resigned over the Suez crisis debacle and this ushered in the baby boomer years of the late 50’s and 60’s when life generally improved for everyone.  He led the Conservatives to victory in the 1959 general election using the campaign slogan “Life’s Better Under the Conservatives” and MacMillan himself is remembered for his famous personal assessment of these years when he said, “indeed let us be frank about it – most of our people have never had it so good.”

Most people were beginning to get television sets in the home and on 1^st April the BBC broadcast one of its most famous ever programmes; a spoof documentary about spaghetti crops in Switzerland. The Panorama programme, narrated by Richard Dimbleby, featured a family from Ticino in Switzerland carrying out their annual spaghetti harvest. It showed women carefully plucking strands of spaghetti from a tree and laying them in the sun to dry.  Some viewers, presumably those who were daft enough to believe it, failed to see the funny side of the broadcast and criticised the BBC for airing the item on what was supposed to be a serious factual programme. 

The home dining experience was much more limited in the 1950s and spaghetti you see was not a widely-eaten food at the time and this explains how the broadcast managed to fool so many viewers.  In the programme Dimbleby explained how each year the end of March is a very anxious time for Spaghetti harvesters all over Europe because of the risk of late frosts and he also explained how each strand of spaghetti always grows to the same length thanks to years of hard work by generations of growers.  An estimated eight million people watched the programme and hundreds phoned in the following day to ask for more information about spaghetti cultivation and how they could grow their own spaghetti trees. The BBC kept the joke going by advising callers to place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.

1957 was the fiftieth anniversary of the Boy Scouts which began in 1907 when Robert Baden-Powell, a Lieutenant General in the British Army, who had served in  India and Africa in the 1880s and 1890s held the first Scout camp at Brownsea Island in Dorset.   Since his boyhood, he was fond of woodcraft and military scouting, and therefore, as part of soldiers training he showed his men how to survive in the wilderness.  He noticed it taught them to develop independence, rather than just blindly follow orders and so towards the end of his military career he wrote a book called ‘Scouting for Boys’ in which he set out the basic the principles of Scouting which were based on his earlier military experiences, and in so doing started the World wide Scouting movement.

I joined the Wolf Cubs when I was seven years old and after I had passed all the tests and received my Leaping Wolf Certificate moved up to the Scouts when I was eleven.  At first I was in the Paddox Troop but later transferred to the Hillmorton, which was good for me because dad was the Scoutmaster, which gave me a bit of an advantage when it came to passing tests and getting badges.  I liked the Scouts and the quasi-military organisation that came with it with the uniforms and the kit inspections, the law book and solemn promise and the fact that I could legitimately carry a hunting knife on my belt without being challenged.  It was a bit like the Hitler Youth Movement but without the nastiness!   Boys stayed in the Scouts until they were sixteen but I never saw it through to the end; dad fell out with the Group Scout Master, Harry Newman in 1969, walked out and never waggled his woggle again and that November I discovered girls and that hanky-panky was much more fun than gin-gan-gooly and that was goodbye to the Scouts, which was a shame because I was only a couple of tests away from my First Class Scouts badge at the time.

In a serious note there was a major train crash disaster in 1957 when two trains collided in fog which killed ninety-two people and injured another one hundred and seventy-three.  I mention this because the accident was in Lewisham in south-east London and only a couple of miles or so from the town of Catford where my grandparents lived and who we used to visit regularly.  I can remember the railway line that you could see from the bottom of the garden and I find it surprising that I was until now unaware of this fact.

In sport Stanley Matthews played his last game for England at the almost unbelievable age of forty-four.  He has the record for the longest serving England career at twenty-three years and remains the oldest man to ever play for England.  Let’s face it; it is completely unlikely that this record will ever be beaten.  He didn’t retire from football altogether at this time though and he continued playing at the very highest level in the English First Division with Stoke City until he was fifty years old when he finally retired in 1964.

To find a player in the mould of Sir Stanley is almost impossible nowadays. With all the press and media hype that surrounds today’s celebrity players such as David Beckham and Wayne Rooney, Matthews was the first real football celebrity. Unlike any other players, he was able to maintain his professionalism at all times and lived only to play the game. Matthews at the time was only earning £20 per week in comparison to the hundreds of thousands of pounds nowadays.

I can actually remember seeing Stanley Matthews myself because from about seven years old dad started to take me to Filbert Street to watch Leicester City.  I can recall quite clearly going to the matches because this always involved a long walk of about three miles there and three miles back.  Very close to my grandparents house there was a bus stop with a direct service into the city but dad rather cunningly always started out for the match at a time certain not to coincide with the bus timetable.  I never caught on to this little trick of course and dad had a very brisk walking pace that required me to run along side him just to keep up as he strode out ahead.   Dad just didn’t like paying bus fares.

Football grounds were totally different to the all seater stadiums that we are used to now and were predominantly standing affairs.  I was only a little lad so it was important to go early to get a good spot on the wall just behind the goal.  This required an early arrival and although matches didn’t start until three o’clock dad used to get us there for the opening of the gates at about one.  This must have required great patience on his part because two hours is a long time to wait for a football match to start standing on cold concrete terracing and I really didn’t appreciate at the time that all of this was done just for me.  In the 1960s of course it was common to have pre-match entertainment when local marching bands would give a thirty minute medley of tunes up until kick off time so at least there was something to watch. 

Footballers like Matthews were completely different from the prima donners of the modern game; they got stuck in and played like men with a big heavy leather football, shirts that became waterlogged and uncomfortable in the rain and the mud and boots that would have been more appropriate for wearing down a coal mine.  What’s more it wasn’t unusual to watch the same eleven men play week after week because they just shrugged off the knocks that put modern players out for weeks.  An injury had to be almost life threatening to stop somebody playing in those days.  And if you don’t believe me, the 1956 FA Cup final, in which Manchester City beat Birmingham City 3-1, is famously remembered for Manchester goalkeeper Bert Trautmann continuing to play on for the final fifteen minutes of the match after unknowingly breaking his neck!

Off the ground there were two important airborne events in 1957 that were important for the future.  There was the first flight of the Boeing 707 which was to become important in increasing travel opportunities and in the USSR the sputnik programme began with the launch of Sputnik1, which was an event that triggered the space race between the two world superpowers the US and the USSR both bursting with testosterone and competing with each other to rule the modern world.

A 10.30 pitch inspection by referee Michael Oliver put paid to this afternoon’s scheduled game between Cardiff City v Leicester City.
Sub-zero temperatures overnight left the pitch frozen, as the undersoil heating at the new stadium was not in operation.

Jock Wallace and his players assembled at Neville Chadwick’s Wigston offices for this photo, taken for a programme cover in December 1981…

How many of them can you name, including Miss Leicester City at the front?

WEDNESDAY 16th DECEMBER

Reasons to dislike Christmas: chavs decorating the outside of their houses with an inordinate amount of lights.

My rule of thumb is this… the more lights there are, the lower class the house owner is.

This looks shit

The chavs haven’t thought this through. They’ll have to pay for the electricity out of their benefits. They could’ve spent that money on the usual fags and booze and junk food.

Or maybe they get free or discounted gas and electric from the council.

Some lights are nice; a lot are vile. Just like the owner.

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So the winner of X Factor this year is a bland nobody, releasing an utter pile of dirge. Why does everyone get so excited about this show?

Let me offer a wager that his album will be in the discount bin in 12 months time, he’ll be dropped by his record label in two years and singing on a cruise ship in the Med in three years.

This guy is not a star and never will be.

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Good job I didn’t over-react to Leicester City’s back-to-back league defeats. Normal service was resumed with a 3-0 win at the weekend.

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More Christmas parties were out and about at Pussycats at the weekend and I guess the same will be true over the next week or so. You get people coming out who probably don’t do much clubbing for the rest of the year and certainly over-indulge to some comic effect!

It's a tough job

Check out the latest photos in the gallery at www.djwanker.com – the official club pictures are at www.telfordnightlife.co.uk – come and see me for a photo, you know where to find me – also get a sticker and a shout out. Just remember your manners…

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My services aren’t required on Christmas Eve at Pussycats this year so I’ll probably head into Leicester with my best mate Phil (that’s DJ Phat Phil, who plays funky tunes at Vox Bar every Saturday, by the way) for some liquid refreshments. I can see it getting messy.

It’s what Jesus would’ve wanted. If he ever existed. Which he probably didn’t. But let’s not let the truth stand in the way of an excuse to over-indulge. Quite a few £1 drinks at Walkabout have our names on them. And it would be rude not to partake at that price.

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I will be at Cats on New Year’s Eve in charge of the main room as per the last three years.

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The International Centre in Telford staged the UK snooker championships last week. One of the competitors was Mark Selby who, like me, is from Leicester. He returned from a match one night to find his room had been ransacked with several items stolen, including his car keys – and then discovered to no great surprise that his fancy motor had been nicked.

There’s a pretty good chance that the thief was from Telford and knew exactly what he was doing and who he was targeting. Selby is probably no stranger to scumbag criminals as he grew up in an area of Leicester called New Parks which is like a larger version of Sutton Hill or Malinslee.

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Sometimes a TV show is ideally named for those who watch it. Let me give you an example… a programme mainly viewed by people waiting for death: Countdown.

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Some status updates airing dirty washing on Facebook are funny. Some are out of order. Some are random. And some are like this:

“I TELL U WOT MUM U WANT ME TO SLATE U I SHALL !!! u need 2 grow up and wake up to the real world not everything is going 2 go ur way, u cant stamp ur feet just cuz it doesnt. i cnt believe u kicking off bcuz i cnt av 8 ppl in a 2bed flat. ur a spoilt brat and immature thats y every1 ends up fallin out with u in end. u seem to 4get how much stuff u put us ova 3 kids through and 3YRS DNT MAKE UP FOR IT!!

And go on disown me again us lot are used to it we never bin good enough as *****, **** and ***** (names removed) ..obviously….3yrs dnt make up for the rest of missin the rest of our life or wot u put us through wen u did have us…. OUR DAD IS NOT PERFECT BUT HE TOOK US ON AND IF IT WASNT FOR HIM WE DONT NO WHERE WE WUD B !!!”

Come on love, tell us what you REALLY think.

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Here’s what I’d write about my mum “I love you more today than I did yesterday and not as much as I will tomorrow.”

And the same goes for my dad.

Anyone thinking I’ve gone all soppy will suffer temporary memory loss and never mention what I’ve just said…

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You know you’ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

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Groups on Facebook I may avoid joining:

“Anatidaephobia – the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you” This group has nearly 100,000 members!

“I like spoons!” Congratulations to the 16 members who joined.

“I have texted lying down and dropped my phone on my face.” Over 200,000 members… grow up.

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From BBC news:

A woman who was given an anti-social behaviour order banning her from making loud noises during sex has admitted breaching the order. Caroline and Steve Cartwright’s love-making was described as “murder” and “unnatural” at Newcastle Crown Court. Neighbour Rachel O’Connor said: ‘The noise sounds like they are both in considerable pain. I have never ever heard anything like it.”

Here are what the sexy people look like…

Keep the noise down

Well, you can see the attraction…

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Nike sponsor Tiger Woods.

Their advertising slogan is: “Just Do It.”

I think he took brand loyalty a little too far.

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One of the women who claims to have had a fling with Tiger Woods told American TV this week that he would text other ladies while in bed with her. “I don’t think he’s an honest man,” she said.

As honest as sleeping with someone you know is married then?

For the record, and to avoid any accusations of throwing stones in a glass house, I must admit that I have slept with a married woman before.

I said to her: “Look Angelina, it’s a secret between us – I won’t tell Brad.”

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Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

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Tesco have withdrawn a light-hearted Christmas card which said: “Santa loves all kids. Even ginger ones.” This follows a complaint from over-sensitive customer Davinia Phillips who has, yes you guessed it, three ginger children as well as way too much time on her hands.

Here is what the humourless bitch looks like…

Not for me, thanks

After looking at that I can imagine you’re thinking the same as me: “Who was the lucky man who shagged her at least three times?”

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I can see a day when someone complains about my blog to the police. Someone did actually threaten to do that earlier this year. She committed a criminal offence (but the complainant didn’t report it to the cops) and I berated her for her behaviour. I still have her email somewhere. I read it whenever I need cheering up.

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It’s very hard to have sympathy with the burglar in Buckinghamshire who tied up a man and his family in their home and then suffered permanent brain damage after being viciously attacked with a cricket bat as he fled the scene of the crime. I don’t agree with vigilante behaviour but none of this would’ve happened if he hadn’t committed the offence in the first place.

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Another joke from Jimmy Carr: “My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying: “Can I have a new bike?”. He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

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And finally… I hope plenty of postmen were intending to fly with British Airways this Christmas. See how they like it.
 
 
 
Cheers for now,
Geoff / DJ Wanker

Leave a comment here or send feedback via Facebook or email

www.djwanker.com
www.facebook.com/djgeoffpeters
www.twitter.com/djwanker
 
 
The DJW blog is brought to you in association with:
 
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http://tantalizesalon.blogspot.com
 
Silver Fish Chippy, Wellington 01952 254627
 
DW Sports Fitness Gym (JJB), Telford 01952 201113
www.dwsportsfitness.co.uk  

Shropshire’s finest clothing line
www.letthekidsdance.co.uk

For the best, sexiest bedroom furniture, check out…
www.slideandhide.co.uk  
 

Booze and grub delivered to your door in Telford

Fast Food Frenzy – 07772 203 241

Sophie’s Choice Cleaning, Telford 01352 779099 / 07816 519627
www.sophieschoicecleaning.co.uk

Central Taxis 01952 50 10 50
www.501050.co.uk  

 
 
To add your company here, please get in touch!

We asked you for your best and worst City-related Christmas Presents – here is a selection box of your stocking thrillers and plum duffs… 

I was about nine when I received the 1984-85 away kit. Dark green and gold pinstripes. Shorts and socks too. Slept in it that night and many nights after. Sad eh…?

My favourite was the signed aerial print of Filbo, just before its demise.  It captures matchday with West Stand and Family Enclosure full, overlooking a perfect carpet of a pitch.
There are thousands of fans outside walking to the match past the little terraced houses that surrounded the old ground.
I’m looking at it on the study wall right now!

I got a framed ‘Leicester’s Sporting Celebration’ picture, with the City, cricket and Tigers – 1997/98 – I think that was the year we all won something. O’Neill, Heskey and Claridge represent the City…. Happy Days!
How long before we have to wait for something like that to happen?

When I was about eight years old I was given a plain blue shirt with a white collar and with a shield badge hand-sewn (nearly straight) on it. Sniff! Proper presents, none of this Playstation megabyte malarkey!

Has to be my copy of ‘Of Fossils & Foxes’  (the one that came out pre-Brian Little era). I didn’t say much that Christmas at all, great reading for a statto…

I seem to remember being thrilled to the core of my very being by getting the Subbuteo Leicester team when they upgraded it to the Admiral kit and we got our own unique number… 192.
I was proud that our Subbuteo team was unique and not lumped in with Everton, Millwall, Chesterfield etc.
But Subbuteo then passed that off as our kit long after the white shoulder stripes had gone. I think it was Roy’s Toys and Sports in Wigston used to have a chart of all the different kits on the wall. This changed periodically and each time there was a new one I was
always dismayed to see the same out of date stripes representing Leicester, when in actual fact we were wearing the all time classic Umbro outfit. Several years ago, well after I had grown out of Subbuteo, some friends gave me a team in the Martin O’Neill era kit with v-neck and red Walkers logo, also a classic.

In a ‘Secret Santa’ prezzie-buying thing at my last workplace, I was bought a Corinthian figure of…. Dennis Wise in the ‘LG’ kit.
The little so and so that bought it for me never owned-up! I did find a use for it for a short while though – the handle for the cord that switched our bathroom light on and off broke, so I tied the cord around Dennis’s neck, and used him as a handle instead.

In 1978 I was 13 and opened up the present from my parents… a Nottingham Forest home kit. Gulp! I didn’t quite understand how bad that present was until my elder brother came round on Christmas afternoon! Lordy, lordy the LANGUAGE! I did get the 1979-80 City kit the year after and still have it in the loft somewhere.

Sadly I got some shares in LCFC plc …the nail clippers in my Tesco’s luxury cracker were worth more.

Christmas 1970, City hat, scarf and rattle, just about broke my wrist trying to crank it above my head.

A bottle of ‘Team Spirit’ aftershave. Given to me as a joke, but I’m not prejudiced and thought the stuff didn’t smell that bad. I wore it when I ran out of my normal stuff, which coincided with me meeting a lovely Italian girl. She was classy, she was beautiful, she was sexy, but she was also a bit of a snob. Two weeks into the relationship she says, “I love the way you smell. What kind of aftershave do you use?” I told her. She laughed and loved me even more for not being bothered about it.
Thanks LCFC. You won’t hear me knocking Fox Leisure products…

My brother got a football-shaped money box that you had to paint yourself. I nicked it once he had painted ‘Leicester’ on it. Happy Chrimbo… A nice framed photo of Filbert Street from the ex. She got the right hump when it took pride of place above the bed!
 

I had the classic Admiral tracksuit, and wore it for years, long after flares went out of fashion. I also remember getting the all white kit that we experimented with for a couple of years. But my favourite shirt had to be a 1970 round neck ala David Nish which I wore to destruction.

Quite recently I got a framed aerial photo of both Filbo and the Walkers Stadium, taken in that brief period when the Walkers was finished and Filbo was still standing. Unique I believe. It hangs proudly above my monitor.

In the mid-70s I got that Admiral tracksuit with the chevrons and  big Foxes badge and even bigger collars. I also got an LCFC autograph book which seven year old me posted to Filbo with a detailed letter of who should sign it. Shame I didn’t enclose a stamped addressed envelope or even a return address. D’OH!

It was Christmas 1991 when a long time friend presented me with an unlikely City souvenir for a present. It was a bottle of ‘City Ale’ that was a limited production to commemorate City gaining promotion in 1983 and brewed by Ind Coope, the then sponsors. According to label I am the owner of bottle number 1370. The label on the front of the bottle carries the old style City shield and the label on the back declares in no uncertain terms that ‘This strong ale was brewed by Ind Coope Ltd to celebrate the promotion of Leicester City Football Club to the first division of the Football League’. Below that are the signatures of Terry Shipman (then Chairman of City) and JM Race who was the MD of Ind Coope 24 years ago. Oh, and the date ‘14th May 1983′ which was the date that we drew 0-0 with Burnley to clinch promotion. Actually the date should really have been about two weeks later when the Football League declared that Fulham’s match at Derby would not be replayed having been abandoned on 88 minutes with the score 2-0 to Derby  which confirmed our promotion. It still sits in amongst my books and programmes gathering dust and, to date, unopened. Heaven knows what the contents would taste like after 24 years (cynics might suggest that it won’t taste much worse than it did after 24 days) but I cannot imagine what kind of occasion would warrant the lid coming off this particular piece of history in a bottle, I mean just how drunk and desperate would you have to be when the booze runs out at the next party? “okay lads we have a choice – 24 year old City Ale or Advocaat?”

Best ever was a Peter Shilton green goalkeepers shirt, made by Admiral with two white stripes running up the sleeves and down the body. It was circa 1972/74 and it was really smart with nothing else around like it. Shame I didn’t do it justice ‘between the sticks’.
Also Cheetah Sports Boots, laced and tied up at the sides, made in Barwell at Wards I think. Everyone got a pair, even the Heathfield High School Rugby Team Players… Poofs

 With thanks to: Cosby Fox, NorthLeicsBlue, Walsh5, glosfox, Steve_LE4, HazelGroveFox, JerseyRon, Kekroka,  Charnwood LCFC, roy of wigston, sohfoxy, EST Fox, Isopen, Wessy Boy,  nrsouth_fox, TorpointFox, Mistryman, FoxtonLox, Wallington, custardboy, DubaiFox, & FilbertsDad… 

Merry Christmas all…

Leicester City 3:0 Sheffield Wednesday

City ended a bad week on a high note with a convincing 3-0 win over Sheffield Wednesday at Filbert Way on Saturday…

Nigel Pearson made four changes: Fryatt, Howard, Dyer and Berner coming in for Gallagher, Waghorn, McGivern and N’Guessan.
But for Wellens and Weale this was the side who won the third division title last season, and Howard soon invoked memories of 2008-09 powering home a header from a Fryatt chip in the 8th minute for his first goal of the season.
This was a huge confidence booster for City, and dented the fragile spirits of a Wednesday side on a run of eight games without a win.
Tudgay went close with an overhead kick in a rare Owls attack; then Wednesday keeper Grant produced a fine save to deny Fryatt, but the home crowd didn’t have to wait long to celebrate another goal.
Some smart footwork on the edge of the area from Fryatt led to a chance for King who beat Grant with a precise shot to double City’s lead in the 24th minute.  
Oakley then caught a volley perfectly but Grant managed to parry the fierce shot away.
In the 36th minute under-fire Owls boss Brian Laws made a double substitution. There were boos from the vistors’ corner as he withrew, Johnson, one of the few Wednesday players to have threatened City’s back line. 
After the break Fryatt and Oakley both went close, before Wednesday almost pulled a goal back. Weale came rushing out to the edge of his area but was left stranded as McAllister beat him to the ball; fortunately for the City keeper, Morrison had come charging back to clear McAllister’s shot off the line.
That was Wednesday’s best chance, and City made it 3-0 in the 73rd minute to put the result beyond doubt.
A good cross from substitute MicGivern from the left was turned back by Fryatt into the path of King who firmly side-footed the ball into the top right hand corner. 
Although the oppostion looked pretty poor, it was a good end to a terrible week for City, who regained a place in the play-off frame.
It also begged the question, are last year’s side still the best option?

Leicester: Weale, Brown, Berner (McGivern 60), Hobbs, Morrison, King, Dyer (Gallagher 75), Oakley, Wellens, Fryatt, Howard (Kermorgant 81). Subs Not Used: Logan, N’Guessan, Adams, Neilson.
Wednesday: Grant, Purse, Buxton, Spurr, Beevers, Johnson (Soares 36), Potter (Gray 36), McAllister, O’Connor, Tudgay, Clarke (Varney 62). Subs Not Used: Hinds, Esajas, O’Donnell, Feeney.

 Referee: C Boyeson (East Yorkshire).  Attendance: 22,236.

The last time Sheffield Wednesday visited the Walkers Stadium, in April last year, they hammered the last but one nail into our third division coffin. Although Iain Hume put City into the lead early on, goals from Slusarski, Watson and Clarke gave Wednesday a comfortable victory.
If you can bear it, here are some images from that dreadful afternoon…

WEDNESDAY 9th DECEMBER

“I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions.”

The words of Tiger Woods after a string of women claim they’ve had sexual liaisons with the world’s greatest golfer.

He’s a greedy man – 18 holes clearly not enough for him…

*****

I’d rather not mention football this week after my boys lost 5-1 and 3-1 in the space of a few days. The temptation is to overreact but I’ll try and rein it in for the moment.

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It still amuses and slightly baffles me why people who don’t like the blog and moan about the content still read it. I would’ve thought you’d got the hang of this by now.

It’s where I…

* express opinions
* settle scores
* embark on childish vendettas
* stand up for right-thinking people
* criticise oxygen thieves
* pity people who stalk radio DJs
* stick up for mates
* annoy the dwindling bunch of Government supporters
* talk about things which are none of my business
* generally say what a lot of people think.

Sometimes it’s over-the-top; sometimes I don’t go far enough in saying what I truly believe.

But it is what it is.

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The landlord of my Telford residence has turned down the heating and potpourri plug-ins to a more acceptable level. At last – he listens!

*****

It’s starting to get busier at Pussycats as the festive season arrives. See my latest photos in the gallery at www.djwanker.com - the official club pictures are at www.telfordnightlife.co.uk – and I suspect we’ll be seeing some rather bonkers activity over the next few weeks

We’ve already had some Christmas work parties in the club. Becs, Tom and the gang from Windsor Life and the DW Sports Fitness crew were out last weekend – the best comedy value came from a large group of hockey players from Birmingham. The knee-sliding was genius. You had to be there, obviously.

*****

It’s a quarter of a century since Band Aid topped the charts and started raising money for Ethiopia. One of the famous lines in the song is:

“There won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas time.”

Well I imagine after 25 years of fund-raising they can now afford a snow machine.

(Technically, of course, Mount Kilimanjaro is in Africa and the top is covered in show.)

*****

In Telford? Hungry? Lazy? Fancy a McDonald’s, KFC or a bottle of Jack Daniels?

Get your fast food and booze delivered to your door – call Ian or Lee at the Fast Food Frenzy team on 07772 203 241.

Now that’s what I call a service.

*****

The boring Dr Who bit.

I picked up Aaleyah after school last week and she insisted on watching some old episodes from one of her (and one of my) favourite shows. She’s 13, fancies David Tennant and really gets into the storylines.

Completely out of the blue, she asked: “If the Doctor can go anywhere in time and space, why doesn’t he go back to his planet Gallifrey and save all the timelords who died in the Time War?”

Now according to the Doctor, some points in time are fixed and some are in flux – and the Time War is a fixed point. So I pointed this out.

“Are we a pair of geeks?” She asked.

*****

Kids do ask the most awkward questions. When she got in the car, she started looking on the floor and under her seat.

“What are you doing, Aaleyah?

“I’m just seeing if there are necklaces here.”

“Why would there be a necklace here?”

“Because you might have been doing ‘birds and the bees’ in the car.”

Sometimes even I struggle for words.

*****

I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here.

Jordan got a lovely surprise when she came out of the jungle – she found out she’d written another two novels!

*****

Well done to the bloke who won it this year. Some chef I’ve never heard of but who my mum likes.

He’s in a bit of bother over killing, cooking and eating a rat on the show.

It was disgusting. Although not as vile as the close-up pictures of Jordan’s face.

*****

Men vs Women – Part 6 of 6

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

*****

With regard to the Men vs Women bit last week, Kerry Ashmore messaged me in defence of the ladies:

“Women somehow deteriorate in the night as they dress up to go to bed and do all the work in the bedroom. Men wake up the same due to the fact they fall into bed with no effort – and then get up after a night with no effort.”

Feedback always welcome.

*****

The boring politics bit.

Desperate measures from the Labour party who are trying to discredit David Cameron, saying he’s out of touch with ‘real people’ because he had a fabulous education and went to a posh public school. This is the same Labour party who had Tony Blair as leader for 10 years – the same Tony Blair, who, erm, had a fabulous education and went to a posh public school…

More stone-throwing glass-house hypocrisy from Labour in the run up to the General Election, I imagine.

I’m sure someone (possibly a character called B.D.M.) will put me straight if I’ve got these facts wrong…

*****

Comedian and writer Ben Elton is moving to Australia because he hates the way the UK is being run. He made his name in the 1980s by, erm, moaning about the way the UK was being run.

Let’s hope it’s a one-way ticket, Ben.

*****

Jimmy Carr: There was one occasion where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me “oh don’t worry, it happens to a lot of guys”. Okay, there are two things wrong with that. First of all, who are these other guys? And second of all, if it’s happening to more than one of us, don’t you think it could be YOUR fault?

*****

From the letters page at Viz magazine: “The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they stop breaking the law, so will I.”

*****

And finally… British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough – use an ashtray!

Cheers for now,
Geoff / DJ Wanker

Leave a comment here or send feedback via Facebook or email

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The DJW blog is brought to you in association with:

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Shropshire’s finest clothing line
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For the best, sexiest bedroom furniture, check out…
www.slideandhide.co.uk

Booze and grub delivered to your door in Telford
Fast Food Frenzy – 07772 203 241

Sophie’s Choice Cleaning, Telford 01352 779099 / 07816 519627
www.sophieschoicecleaning.co.uk

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To add your company here, please get in touch!

Leicester City 1:3 Bristol City

Another very poor performance from City handed Bristol City a 3-1 victory at Filbert Way on Tuesday night…

Nigel Pearson made four changes to the side that surrendered at Forest, with full-backs Neilson and Berner replaced by Morrison and McGivern; Gallagher in for Kermorgant and leading scorer Fryatt dropped to the bench with N’Guessan taking his place.
City began the game pressing forward and eager to make amends and they should have been awarded a penalty early on.
After a mix up between Robins’ keeper Gerken a defender Waghorn was clearly tripped in the area for as clear a penalty as you could wish to see, but the linesman didn’t see it like that.
By the 18th minute City were behind when an incredible run from Sproule saw him go past four blue shirts before tucking the ball under Weale. 
N’Guessan went close for City as they desperatley tried to claw their way back into the game, but it was the visitors who found the net again in the 29th minute. Skuse fired a 30 yard shot into the top left hand corner, though Weale seemed slow to react.
Any City response either petered out, or was halted by a series of increasingly poor offside calls. And the same linesman also failed to spot a hand to ball offence in the area when N’Guessan’s cross was virtually autographed by McAllister.
The same eleven emerged from the tunnel for the second half  but Weale was the busier keeper, doing well to smother a shot from Sproule and  then save a McAllister effort.
Fryatt came on for N’Guessan in the 67th minuute and City pressed forward for  a spell, but this ended in calamity.
Hobbs attempted a surging run down the middle, but attempted to beat his man and stumbled. Four Bristol players steamed down the field towards Weale, with Ajax’s Evander Sno producing a clinical finish to kill the game off. 
With ten minutes remaining the evening got even worse when Waghorn allowed his frustration to boil over and was late in a challenge with McAllister. He got a straight red card, meaning he gets Christmas off, and also had to be carried off injured.
In stoppage time Fryatt got in behind the visitors back line to grab and late reply, but the goal music and enthusiatic PA announcement merely served to grate on the nerves.
Nigel Pearson commented: “It was so important that we scored the first goal, but we ended up conceding two goals in quick succession and the players’ confidence seemed to be affected after that. Our confidence tonight seemed a bit fragile and we’ve just got to work through that.”

Leicester: Weale, Brown, Hobbs, Morrison, McGivern, King, Oakley, Wellens, Gallagher, N’Guessan (Fryatt 68), Waghorn. Subs Not Used: Dyer, Howard, Adams, Kermorgant, Neilson, Pentney.
Bristol City: Gerken, Orr, Fontaine, Nyatanga, McAllister (McCombe 83), Sproule, Skuse, Sno (Johnson 85), Hartley (Elliott 78), Maynard, Haynes. Subs Not Used: Clarkson, Williams, Saborio, Henderson.

Referee: S D Cook (Surrey). Attendance: 19,349.

Absolutely nothing!

Life is great.

Nottingham Forest 5:1 Leicester City

Leicester City were swept aside by a rampant Forest side at the City Ground yesterday, with Robert Earnshaw grabbing a hat trick…

4,500 City fans followed their third placed team to Nottingham in anticipation of a decent east midlands derby, what unfolded in front of them was an utterly humiliating horror show.
Nigel Pearson made one change to his side, bringing Oakley back into the fold in place of Gallagher, but it soon became clear that those in royal blue had not turned up for this early kick off.
Forest built up some early pressure, using their pace down the flanks, which City struggled with all afternoon. 
Weale punched one effort clear and then Brown made a timely headed clearance.
City’s resistance lasted until the 12th minute, when a good move down the right ended with Earnshaw speeding into the area and slotting the ball neatly past Weale.
Weale then made saves from Blackstock and Anderson before Nigel Pearson decided it was time for a change in the 28th minute. 
He brought Howard on for Kermorgant, but nothing improved.
Forest doubled their lead in the 32nd minute. City failed to clear a corner properly and Cohen fired in a shot from the edge of the area. It struck someone in a crowded penalty area and landed neatly at the feet of Earnshaw who prodded it home from close in while the City appealed for offside in vain.
Nigel Pearson then brought Dyer on for Fryatt, but City still couldn’t make any impression on the game leading up to the break.   
City desperately needed an early goal in the second half, but despite a couple of half chances for Howard and Waghorn, it was Forest who sealed the game going 3-0 up in the 49th minute.
Berner sent the ball directly into the path of Earnshaw on the half way line. One on one with Brown the Welshman turned the City defender inside out  before sending the ball over Weale and into the net to complete his hat trick.
City were then awarded a penalty when Waghorn was clearly tripped in the area but, after a word with the linesman, the ref changed his mind and awarded a free-kick, which came to nothing.  
Instead, the pain just kept coming for those Leicester fans packed into the Bridgford lower. In the 54th minute a good run by Blackstock opened up space for Leicester born and bred Paul Anderson to curl a shot across Weale and into the net, sticking the knife into a club that rejected him as a kid.
City did pull a goal back in the 64th minute when Wellens fired a shot against Morgan’s elbow and the ref harshly pointed to the spot. 
Waghorn fired his spot kick into the roof of the net, but the celebrations in the away end were muted to say the least.
Forest restored their four goal advantage in the 77th minute with both the subs getting involved, Weale parried a 25 yard shot from McCleary, but the ball fell for Adebola who couldn’t miss from three yards.
It had been a dreadful performance from City, with the fans feeling badly let down, and Nigel Pearson now has three days to pick them up off the floor to face Bristol City.  
The City boss admitted: “It was shocking. Embarrassing really, because we were second best from the first minute…”

Forest: Camp, Morgan, Wilson, Gunter, Shorey, Cohen, Anderson (McCleary 70), McKenna, Majewski (Tyson 60), Blackstock (Adebola 66), Earnshaw. Subs Not Used: Smith, Chambers, McGoldrick, McGugan.
Leicester: Weale, Brown, Berner, Hobbs, Neilson (Morrison 63), King, Oakley, Wellens, Fryatt (Dyer 36), Kermorgant (Howard 28), Waghorn. Subs Not Used: Gallagher, Logan, N’Guessan, McGivern.

Ref: M Russell (Herts). Attendance: 28,626.

Although Leicester beat Forest at the City Ground in September 2007, 3-2 in a League Cup tie, they haven’t beaten them in a League game away since January 1972…

The sides met on 22 January 1972: Forest took a first half lead through Ian Storey-Moore, who beat Peter Shilton with a volley.
Keith Weller equalised with a brillaint goal five minutes from time that saw him beat four Forest defenders before firing a shot past Jimmy Barron.
In the final minute of the game Alan Birchenall hit the winner with a shot that deflected off a defender on its way into the net.

Since then it has been an unrelentingly different story:

2007/2008
League Cup Nottingham Forest 2-3 Leicester City 18-09-2007
2004/2005
Second Tier Nottingham Forest 1-1 Leicester City 17-12-2004
2002/2003
Second Tier Nottingham Forest 2-2 Leicester City 26-10-2002
1998/1999
Premier Nottingham Forest 1-0 Leicester City 16-05-1999
1996/1997
Premier Nottingham Forest 0-0 Leicester City 07-09-1996
1994/1995
Premier Nottingham Forest 1-0 Leicester City 27-08-1994
1993/1994
Second Tier  Nottingham Forest 4-0 Leicester City 06-02-1994
1988/1989
League Cup Nottingham Forest 2-1 Leicester City 14-12-1988
1986/1987
Division 1   Nottingham Forest 2-1 Leicester City 22-03-1987
1985/1986
Division 1   Nottingham Forest 4-3 Leicester City 22-03-1986
1984/1985
Division 1  Nottingham Forest 2-1 Leicester City 25-11-1984
1983/1984
Division 1   Nottingham Forest 3-2 Leicester City 04-12-1983
1980/1981
Division 1   Nottingham Forest 5-0 Leicester City 20-09-1980
1977/1978
Division 1   Nottingham Forest 1-0 Leicester City 14-03-1978

That first Christmas card, you get in early December. Annoying isn’t it? It proves that someone else has got their act together and posted all their cards and you haven’t even thought about buying yours yet, have you?
Well here’s our annoyingly early card…

Merry Christmas…

Inside it says:
“Best Wishes for Christmas and the New Year
from
The Directors, players and staff.
Leicester City Football Club.

December 1979.”

We don’t have the name of the City fan who sent this photo into The FOX many years ago… but we have to agree with their claim that the doll on the left looks just like Steve Agnew, while the one on the right is the spit of Kevin ‘Rooster’ Russell. 

Whoever it was that sent them in, thanks. And don’t leave them on the radiator for too long.

WEDNESDAY 2nd DECEMBER

Okay I’m back.

Just needed a week off the blog to crack on with other work. A person has to earn a living, you know. I also had some other stuff going on which didn’t exactly have me in a great frame of mind.

I was in London last week commentating on a couple of football matches and then returned there on Saturday for another – it was all a bit hectic, dashing down after DJ-ing on Friday and back up after the game for the Saturday session. Then it was straight home as I had another match to cover on Sunday. It was a financially beneficial 48 hours but left me utterly shattered.

*****

All this driving in the past week meant stopping at a lot of motorway service stations. Every single one seems to have an amusement arcade with a car game. Surely no-one loves driving that much?

*****

I have now completed my residential transfer in Telford. My weekend lodgings have moved from St George’s to, erm, another place in, erm, a different area. The new landlord seems like a reasonable bloke although he does favour Glade plug-ins at full volume. If I die through choking on potpourri fumes then you know who to blame…

In all honesty, I was glad to get out of the crib. Things were going on which didn’t fit comfortably with me and I considered giving you the full story in the blog. However, I’ve decided to keep my feelings to myself for the time being.

And so we move on…

*****

Twitter update of the week from Tom Bishton, barman at Pussycats, have-a-go hero and all-round bundle of entertainment:

“I swear as the days go on it’s getting colder and colder.”

I await this update from him next summer:

“I swear it’s warmer than it was in the winter.”

*****

Facebook status of the week:

“Splify on da gwarn wif bonz lad n simko lol telfrd talk x BLAG”

Any idea what the fook that means? Answers on a postcard to the usual address…

*****

I play golf in a manner similar to Tiger Woods. I’m always driving into trees as well.

*****

“That was a close shave.”

Tiger Woods taking his advertising for Gillette a bit too seriously.

*****

I know it’s wrong to make jokes about Tiger so soon after his accident. He’s probably still feeling under par.

*****

Television news: A laptop has been stolen from one of the writers on EastEnders. It included top-secret scripts for the Christmas episodes.

Now I’m not privy to any inside information but let me guess what the festive season has in store for the residents of Albert Square…

“Everyone has a miserable Christmas.”

Yeah, that probably just about covers it.

*****

That karaoke bore-fest is STILL polluting our Saturday and Sunday night TV screens. X Factor seems to drag on forever.

I could probably just about tolerate it if it was on quietly in the background while I enjoyed a bottle of Merlot, a case of Ferrero Rocher and some intelligent female company.

*****

I’ve mentioned Dr Who a few times recently in the blog. Yes, it’s one of my favourite shows and yes, I’m looking forward to the two episodes over Christmas and New Year. It got me wondering whether I was really a full-on Dr Who geek – so I found a forum where fans of the show get together.

It seems I have nothing to worry about. These people are the epitome of sad. The word ‘anorak’ barely does them justice. They make their own Dr Who TV trailers. They dissect every line from every episode for secret hidden meanings. They write page after page on *what might happen* to this character and that character.

I managed to spend five minutes on the forum before just about losing the will to live. Each to their own and all that but it was uber-geek territory.

I imagine some of these people queue up for computer games for their midnight release…

*****

I could be a scriptwriter on Dr Who. Imagine he visits 10,000 years into the future, steps out of the TARDIS and says: “I see the DFS ’sale’ still hasn’t ended.”

Erm, okay then. I’ll leave it.

*****

Sad news this week – a four year old boy was mauled to death in Liverpool by a vicious dog.

I hope Kerry Katona has an alibi.

*****

We’ve got loads of great things lined up for Christmas and New Year at Pussycats, Whispers, Vox and Crush and we hope you can be part of our fantastic festive frolics. My latest set of photos from Pussycats are in the gallery at www.djwanker.com - and the official club pictures are at www.telfordnightlife.co.uk.

Maximum brownie points for the baldie!

*****

Okay, I can’t resist… she’s a lazy, sour-faced borderline-obsessive cow; he’s properly under the thumb – but at least he didn’t have the opportunity to put his back-stabbing plan into action.

*****

News from the Shropshire Star: “Diggers will soon be on a Telford estate to start the next stage of a £1 million plan to revamp the area. Building work can now begin in Woodside after several demolitions around the estate.”

Am I the only one thinking they need more than a million quid to rescue that place?

*****

Warning – drinking alcohol can seriously harm your baby.

Especially if you’re in Portugal and can’t be arsed to pay for a babysitter.

*****

Men vs Women – Part 5 of 6

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

The final part of this series is next week

*****

From the letters page at Viz magazine: “I’m not sure which group I hate the most out of U2 and Coldplay but I think U2 has The Edge.”

*****

And finally… isn’t using the phrase ‘bootylicious’ just the polite way of saying someone has a really fat arse?
 

 
Cheers for now,
Geoff / DJ Wanker

Leave a comment here or send feedback via Facebook or email

www.djwanker.com
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The DJW blog is brought to you in association with:

Tantalize Beauty Salon, Madeley 01952 585853
http://tantalizesalon.blogspot.com

Silver Fish Chippy, Wellington 01952 254627

DW Sports Fitness Gym (JJB), Telford 01952 201113
www.dwsportsfitness.co.uk

Shropshire’s finest clothing line
www.letthekidsdance.co.uk

For the best, sexiest bedroom furniture, check out…
www.slideandhide.co.uk

Sophie’s Choice Cleaning, Telford 01352 779099 / 07816 519627
www.sophieschoicecleaning.co.uk

Central Taxis 01952 50 10 50
www.501050.co.uk  

To add your company here, please get in touch!

Well okay yes, it was in 1981 and it didn’t happen, but just imagine if it had…

From The Sun:
Johan Cruyff is today set for a sensational move to First Division Strugglers Leicester City.
The Dutch Master has lined up a deal worth £4,000 a game for 11 matches – and if everything works out, he will make his debut against reigning European Champions Nottingham Forest on Saturday.
Last night jubilant Leicester boss Jock Wallace insisted: “Johan and I have already agreed terms.He has one or two problems to sort out, but I am very hopeful he will join us on Thursday.”
Cruyff is considering th emove for two reasons. He must play competitive football to make his international comeback for Holland, and he wants to try out the English First Division before deciding on a one-year contract with Arsenal next season.
The one barrier to Leicester’s transfer scoop lies with Spanish Second Division side Levante, who coul dmake a late final bid.
They have had month long talks with Cruyff, but last night the Dutchman indicated they are now too late, though Leicester’s activity could produce one last eleventh hour effort.
Cruyff, who last played for Holland in 1977, wants to return against France in a World Cup qualifier on March 25.
To be eligible he must first be playing in a national soccer league.
Because Levante have wasted so much time Cruyff looks like he may plump for England, though by doing so he would lose £75,000 on any agreement with the Spanish club.
He told me: “I still like the idea of Spain, because th eclimate suits me and my family.”
“But I cannot wait any longer for Levante. I want a guarantee from them and we have been nogotiating for a month but every day they tell me a new story.”
Wallace added: “I would like to think that part of Johan’s interest is down to our personal friendship. I have known him since 1973 when he scored a fabulous goal for Ajax against Rangers when I was at Ibrox in the first European Super Cup.”
“The negotiations have been going on by telephone over the past three to four weeks and now I think I have my man. He would teach my kids so much and be a great advert for Leicester City.”

Cruyff moved to Levante – where he made ten appearances and scored two goals…

Sunday evening’s FA Cup third round draw gave City a home tie against Swansea, a repeat of the first game of this season, which Leicester won 2-1.

The two clubs have only previously met once in this competition, a 4th round tie in 1929 which saw Leicester beat Swansea Town 1-0 at Filbert Street thanks to a goal from Arthur Lochhead.

The full draw is as follows, games to be played on the weekend of 2/3 January:

Spurs v Peterborough

Brentford v Doncaster

Middlesbrough v Manchester City

Stoke v York

Notts County v Forest Green

Huddersfield Town v West Brom

Sheff Utd v QPR

MK Dons v Burnley

Chelsea v Watford

Notts Forest v Birmingham

Preston v Colchester

West Ham v Arsenal

Aston Villa v Blackburn

Portsmouth v Coventry

Sunderland v Oxford United / Barrow

Wigan v Hull

Everton v Carlisle

Sheff Wednesday v Crystal Palace

Tranmere / Aldershot v Wolves

Blackpool v Ipswich

Fulham v Swindon

Stockport / Torquay v Brighton

Scunthorpe v Barnsley

Southampton v Rotherham / Luton

Bristol City v Cardiff

Reading v Liverpool

Staines / Millwall v Derby

Plymouth v Newcastle

Leicester v Swansea

Bolton v Lincoln

Accrington / Barnet v Gillingham

Man Utd v Kettering / Leeds

Scunthorpe United 1:1 Leicester City

Despite leading for 90 minutes at Glanford Park City were pegged back by Scunthorpe in the dying seconds of time added on…

Nigel Pearson named an unchanged side for this trip to chilly Glanford Park, with Matt Oakley returning from suspension to a place on the bench.
It looked like a good decision with City getting off to a confident start. In the first minute Waghorn sent a low ball forward into the area, Gallagher teed it up, and King sent a shot narrowly wide.
By the 3rd minute City were ahead. Scunthorpe keeper Murphy sent a long ball forward, Hobbs met it with his head, and a good first touch and blistering pace from Waghorn kept him just ahead of the pursuing defender before he steered the ball past Murphy and into the net.
A couple of minutes later City almost doubled their lead when a Neilson cross from the right was met by the right foot of Kermorgant, but his shot was too close to Murphy.
Fryatt then wriggled his way through on the left but was crowded out at the near post by three defenders and the keeper. 
Scunthorpe began to press forward for a spell and Byrne sent a header inches over the bar from a corner.
Then Hooper poked the ball home from 6 yards but was denied by the linesman’s flag.
Fryatt then broke clear on goal but his shot was deflected by desperate late challenge from a defender. The ball looped up and over keeper Murphy but he somehow managed to reach back for a fine save. 
Just before the break Murphy pulled off another fine save, tipping a bullet header from Kermorgant round the left hand post.
City began the second half in the same fashion as the first. Wellens sent Fryatt in on the left, he beat his man and squared for Waghorn who, under a challenge, scooped the ball over the bar.
McCann then tried a couple of long range efforts, one was easily fielded by Weale the other,a free-kick, sailed over the bar.    
Nigel Pearson brought Howard and N’Guessan on for Fryatt and Waghorn with five minutes to go and although City condceded some ground they didn’t look in any real danger until the third of four minutes time added on…
A long ball forward saw a scramble around the penalty spot; Hobbs, sitting on the ground with the ball under his legs, cleared the ball as far as Woolford on the edge of the area. He fired a low shot across the goalmouth which just evaded Brown’s outstretched boot and found the net, to the delight of the home crowd.
It was a sickeningly late equaliser but Nigel Pearson was not unduly concerned: 
“I am disappointed because we had chances in the first half to score more goals. But I am not going to have a go at my players because overall this was another good away performance. There was just one ball into the box that we did not deal with – and it has cost us.”

Scunthorpe: Murphy, Byrne, Mirfin, Williams, Jones, Togwell (Woolford 54), O’Connor, J Wright, McCann, Hayes (Thompson 70), Hooper. Subs Not Used: Forte, Lillis, Friend, A Wright, Canavan. 
Leicester: Weale, Brown, Berner, Hobbs, Neilson, King, Wellens, Gallagher, Fryatt (Howard 85), Kermorgant, Waghorn (N’Guessan 84). Subs Not Used: Dyer, Logan, Oakley, Morrison, McGivern.

 Referee: R Shoebridge (Derbyshire). Attendance: 6,884.

Walkers Stadium will need to increase capacity for 2018

Leicester’s 2018 World Cup bid was submitted to the Football Association at Wembley last Thursday.

To say they were competing against the 15 other cities would be wrong – they simply have to meet certain criteria to be selected, therefore all the entrants have the potential to be successful.

The bids are judged on a variety of factors including their stadiums, training facilities, hotels, transportation and location of airports, train stations etc.

However, selection does not guarantee hosting the World Cup – even if England do get the games in nine years time – it simply means they will be submitted to FIFA as a candidate city.

FIFA will choose the successful hosts after deciding which country will stage the tournament.

I spoke to FAs press office a few months back, and their chief press officer told me that they would help every city to do their absolute best to meet all the criteria.

They sent teams of inspectors, on more than one occasion, to scrutinise the contenters and report back to each city, explaining where they needed to improve – which hints that it’s down to the organisers to mess this one up…

Last Thursday, Alan Shearer and 1966 World Cup winner Jack Charlton were at the national stadium supporting Newcastle’s bid with Gazza, who was also backing rivals Sunderland with Niall Quinn and Kenwyne Jones.

Paul Ince was backing Milton Keynes, Gary Mabbutt was there to cheer on Bristol and John Barnes and Roger Hunt – another 1966 World Cup winner – were behind Liverpool.

Leicester’s bid was backed by councillor Ross Willmott and Filbert Fox.

Where were Gary Lineker, Nigel Pearson, Milan Mandaric, Muzzy Izzet, Steve Claridge, Emile Heskey… or even Alan ‘The Birch’ Birchenall?

I’ve never known The Birch to turn down a public appearance, he’d open a packet of biscuits if asked nicely.

So, were they asked, did they decline? I can’t say.

It just seems very lacklustre and slightly embarrassing that the highest profile person we had campaigning for the city was a man who doesn’t like, and knows nothing about, football.

Ross Willmott - the leader

Speaking about the bid at Wembley, Coun Willmott said: “I’ve come into this as someone who doesn’t like football so I brought a bit of scepticism to the bid team, but I’ve been caught up in World Cup fever and now I’m very excited about the prospect of Leicester being a host city.”

The decision about the successful host cities will be announced on December 16, 2009. The FA will then submit a Bid Book to FIFA, detailing all the aspects of the country’s resources relating to staging the tournament – which will hopefully include Leicester’s bid proposal.

FIFA will then decide in December next year which country gets the games in 2018.

Following that, teams of FIFA inspectors will descend on the successful country to assess whether each individual proposal meets their criteria – so even if Leicester are chosen as candidates next month, there is still a long way to go.

Looking on the bright side, it gives Mr Willmott a long time to brush up on his football knowledge.

The sort of presumptious headline you dread seeing, but it proved to be correct.
A fantastic performance from City saw them beat eventual League Champions Portsmouth 3-1 with two goals from Don Revie and one from Ken Chisholm. Fifty nine years after their first game in the FA Cup City had finally reached the Final…

From the Topical Times Annual 1970…

Anyone know what happened to Wembley Lester Dewick?