WordPress! I missed you! I assume you didn’t miss me because of the combination of the facts that you are a metaphysical inanimate object and I am an asshole.

And my readers! If you are reading this, you probably forgot all about me. I’m sorry it has been so long. NaNoWriMo and school have been kicking my ass. Oh, and as for NaNo, I failed. Miserably. I was pissed off at myself for not finishing, but oh well. NEXT YEAR!

Any way I did complete some type of writing thingy this past month. Currently I am writing another blog that I hope to have finished next week. If you love Cracked.com articles, you are going to be disappointed when you realize that the upcoming blog is a cheap bastardization of their patented listing techniques. Also I wrote a poem called Sensing My Apocalypse. It is probably one of the best poems I have ever written. I even have it laminated at the Writer’s Studio! I am planning on submitting it to Taproot this year, but I will let you guys read it too. Here it is.

Sensing my Apocalypse

Have you ever heard a dead man’s voice?

That changed words’ meanings, killed your choice

Have you ever looked into a dead man’s eyes?

Old cold tombs, sealing past lies

Have you ever stared at a dead man’s face?

Once preaching the superiority of his own race

Have you ever held a dead man’s hand?

Which brought drought and plagues to this land

Have you been cradled by a dead man’s arms?

Who falsely promised no future harm

Have you felt the beat of a dead man’s heart?

Who tricked, and ripped, and stole other’s art

Have you ever smelled a dead man’s breath?

Rotted teeth tell tales of meth

Have you ever tasted a dead man’s lips?

His twisted smile, sensing my apocalypse

For I have heard his whisper and seen his silhouette

He left his mark that I shall never forget

For I have felt his touch and smelled his stink

Putrid revelations make me fear to think

For I have tasted his hair and licked his skin

For I am dead too, I am man, I am sin

Wasn't that poem upbeat kids!

I would like to point out that this poem is mine. I wrote it, and if I find out any of you stole it, I will castrate you (ladies, I will do the female form of a circumcision on you.)

Well on that bright note, on to the blog.

In October I spun a yarn about a legend on the Campus of OSUN. Mr. Sturger vs Ms. Slope. Well I have another. This one happened my Freshman year of College. I was so naive back then [reminiscing while the song “Good Riddance(Time of Your Life)” plays] that was back when I didn’t think any of my friends would betray me, but this is not about that. No, no. This is about my maybe Lesbian Professor. I had written these down in facebook notes. I will put them together for you, my readers. And I will keep them they way that I had written them (sans grammatical errors). The entries  span most of my first quarter in college, so  not only was my writing not developed as well as it is today, my jokes are probably corny and most likely for shock laughs. I apologize in advance for that.

Well without further ado, Newark Campus Legends: My Maybe Lesbian Professor.

My Maybe Lesbian Teacher [Part 1]

Friday, September 29, 2006 at 4:11pm

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, Vanessa Landolfo, Dana Dehays, and I have a class (im not saying which one*) at 7:45 in the morning. Our professor is nice but is funny, Ya Know Funny. She as this short bowl hair cut and wears weird clothes. For instance on Thursday the 28th, she walked into the class room wearing a blue Asian shirt. Ya know, the kind of shirts that middle class white boys wear. Also she said that her “Partner” takes a lot of pictures of her cat. She also said that she was getting divorced and that it shocked her. Now she maybe married to a man, or maybe a woman. But I have a theory, she either thinks of her partner as her spouse, or they went to a state where gay marriage is legal. Now these arguments do not automatically mean she is a lesbian, but Dehays and I will keep you posted.

* I just want to point out that I am a recovering retard and that I did mention what class it was. So hooray Freshman me and my stupidity!

My Maybe Lesbian Teacher- Part 2

Saturday, October 14, 2006 at 11:15pm

For every one who wants to know if my teacher is a lesbian or not, I’ve got news for you! our teacher is… actually we do not know. But Dehays was talking about it to a girl named Abbey Scherer in our English class. Abbey Scherer is actually in the sociology class after us. One day our teacher was late to their class, and everyone was talking when one person said, “Hey do you think our professor is a lesbian?” This question of a professor’s sexual preferance sparked chatter about the classroom. The entire class decided that one day they would ask her. One day (in the other class), at the end of class our professor asked, “Are there any questions?” One kid stood up and asked the class, “Should I ask her?” the class said no. So just like I did last time I left you with no answers, sorry, but eventually we will answer this question that has plagued Sociology classes since at least this quarter. One day, one day…

My Maybe Lesbian Teacher- Part 3

Saturday, October 21, 2006 at 10:43pm

Well everybody it comes to this number 3 out of ? part series about the age old question: Is my teacher a lesbian, or is she just very odd? Well I have got news for you…No, we did not find out whether or not she likes to munch rug, but we have two more things that will confuse and probably annoy you. My friend, Abbey Scherer has given me some interesting information about her class on Thursday. Apparently, in her class, our teacher told them that she had a boyfriend in college. Abbey also told me that the professor said that she also read a book about homosexual relationships. Now I gave you two new pieces of information, but still no answers. I will leave everybody deciding at least one more time, and the notes will continue.

My Maybe Lesbian Teacher- Part 4

Tuesday, November 14, 2006 at 12:05am

Everybody, I have news for you!!!!!
My teacher is a Lesbian…No not the one Dana Dehays, Abbey Sherer, and I were wondering about. No, but another Professor. Last week she made a comment about being a lesbian, I just thought it was a joke, but Dana and Abbey asked her and she said that she was. Today she mentioned her partner and Nichole Susi and I decided that she most likely was. The odd thing about this is that she doesn’t fit into the lesbian stereotype, she is attractive. Anyway sorry that I do not know if our professor that I have been describing is or not but I will let you know.

My Maybe Lesbian Teacher- Part 5

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 at 12:39am

After ten fucking weeks of wondering, you, me, and the rest of the world will finally know the answer of the question: Does my teacher like the ladies or the fellas? The answer is… she is in fact a dyke. I will let you soak in the answer for a few seconds, because I know this must be earth shattering for you. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Dehays has recently found a book that my teacher had written named, “We’re Here! We’re Queer! Get Used to Us!” Not only that, whenever we would do activities about discrimination she would use discrimination of homosexuals before discrimination of women or blacks.
So I hope everyone who has enjoyed these notes of mine will continue to read about my wacky adventures. And I thank you for being so patient. I would also like to thank Dana Dehays, Abbey Scherer, Vanessa Landolfo, and Nichole Susi for allowing me to mention them in my notes, and both

my teachers for letting me write about them.*

*I did have a picture to go along with the conclusion, but people smarter

than I suggested I take it down in case the professor ever read this. In lue of that, I will give you this artist’s rendition instead.

Peace

Oh, and looking back over those entries, I think it was kind of obvious that she was a lesbian. This blog post will be a testament to how naive I was back then.

I find it interesting that people would argue that an 8-year-stale (as in, ended, for good, 8 years ago), singular, and gladly renounced, heterosexual relationship would negate my current identification as a lesbian separatist.  Those who have been reading for some time know that I have only very recently, in the past few months, made any claim to lesbianism or lesbian separatism, and updated my about page to reflect my growth.

You see, separatists, all of us, are made, to whatever possible extent, not born.  Every woman is born into heterosociality , tied, involuntarily or willingly, by various threads, whether economic, emotional, familial, or sexual, to males and to women who love them.  So, although separatism has appealed to me for quite some time, and although my feminist theory has always been separatist, it wasn’t until I had ended my nearly decade-long celibacy, made the decision to quit my job, and broke all ties of vicinity and obligation to those who would sabotage my separatist efforts, that I called myself a lesbian separatist.

That’s all I intended to write, but while I’m sitting here, I’ll also add that hatred of males is not a prerequisite for separatism.  I just happen to be a very good multitasker; I can manage to love women, choose separatism out of that love for women and my desire to see an end to the suffering males cause us as female human beings, AND hate males, all at the same time.  Oh, and I can chew bubble gum, too, while I’m loving women and hating males, and the chewing of bubble gum has about has much to do with separatism as the hating of males does, although I don’t imagine disingenuous woman-haters would ever make so much ado about chewing gum as they do about my equally beside-the-point male-hating.

While doing a little research for my boyfriend I came across a couple of numbers that made that made me smile and think about how I’d like to share THESE numbers with all the “YES on Prop 8″ people.

Based on a range of population samples in the past few years, the consensus opinion is that 6% to 7% of the adult U.S. population self-identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual. According to Witeck- Combs Communications, this number equates to about 15.3 million people in 2006,increasing to 16.3 million people in 2011.
Data from Census 2000 and reports published since then indicate that same-sex unmarried partners were present in 99.3% of all counties in the US.

This next part – I did not know. Very interesting.

The data also revealed that gay men do not necessarily choose to live in the same communities as their female counterparts and vice versa. State same-sex male- and female-couple concentration rankings share only five states—Arizona, California, Massachusetts, Vermont and Washington—between the respective top-10 lists.
Only San Francisco County appeared among the top 10 counties for both male and female couples.

Source: “Gay and Lesbian Internet Users – The GLBT Community,” eMarketer, October 2007

Team Canada’s women’s hockey team recently played a group of 15-year old boys in an effort to tune up for the upcoming Olympic competition.  The game will be best remembered for an incident involving Canadian captain Hayley Wickenheiser (above), who was rubbed out along the boards by 15-year old Dane Phaneuf, the younger brother of Calgary Flames defenceman Dion.  Before we get into the gritty and perverse details of the story, here’s a video of the clip courtesy of TSN:

Wickenheiser’s reaction shouldn’t be too surprising, and she explains that the heat of the moment may have gotten the better of her.  “Well I was just getting very frustrated by that point in the game.  They were controlling the action, outplaying us.  So I had to try to give the girls a spark, just like that time when we pretended that the American team was standing on our flag in their locker room.”  Asked for further elaboration, Wickenheiser only shook her head and muttered that it was depressing to get bullied around by children.  “Bullying just isn’t acceptable at any age, so I stood up for myself.”

The child, Dane Phaneuf

Dane, on the other hand, had mixed feelings about the incident.  The 15-year old said it was the first time that he has been “touched” by a girl, and noted that he felt strangely about it.  The younger Phaneuf stated, “On one hand, my brain was, like, oh my there’s this MILF touching me!  Then, I realized that it wasn’t really a MILF;  it was Hayley Wickenheiser.  Total turn-off.  If it was Meghan Agosta or one of the other young ones, I would’ve had a total chub.”

Phaneuf also provided further insight into the incident, explaining that “she was breathing heavy, and while it looked like a choke hold on the tape, that’s not at all she was doing.  I could tell she was trying to grab my breasts, and she was inviting me to go ’scissor’ with her later.  I didn’t know the Canadian team had Arts and Crafts time like we do in my Art class.  I have a 72, so maybe she can help me out.”  Dane was left feeling rather embarrassed by the whole situation, noting that he wishes he could forget about it and still get his hot chocolate after the game and stay up past his bedtime of 9:30 in order to watch the ending of a Flames’ game.

Hearing about the implication of scissoring, older brother Dion wasn’t all that surprised.  “Yeah, nothin’ surprising there.  A dyke wants to scissor.”  Dion said later on that he was disappointed in the quality of the hit.  “I’ve built a family reputation for some nasty, open-ice blasts.  It’s too bad Dane didn’t catch one of those lesbos with their head down at the blue-line.  I’d love to double-Dion any of those broads, but mainly Hayley and Cassie Campbell, just so fans wouldn’t have to hear her voice on Hockey Night in Canada anymore.  Fuck.”  When Dion was informed that Campbell was married and that Wickenheiser has had a long-term boyfriend, he just laughed and walked away.

Big brother Dion wants the Phaneuf reputation upheld

Team Canada claims that it will still play against squads made up of 15-year old boys, regardless of the obvious injury risks of going up against bigger and faster players.  “Despite the incident, we’ll still keep playing against these squads,” insisted national team coach Melody Davidson.  “Teams like this have so much more talent than the other national teams, including the Americans.”  Asked if she would expand the competition to include 16-year old boys, Davidson quickly backed off. “Oh goodness no.  We already lose half the time against 15 year olds, and we don’t even let them hit us.  Sixteen-year olds would skate circles around these girls.  I want to keep their confidence up while preparing.”

Sometimes not saying anything is saying everything.   What happened to Thou Shalt not Kill (murder)?

Rick Warren Refuses To Condemn Proposed Ugandan Law To Execute Gays

This is what I heard in the kitchen at work recently when I asked a fella near the utensils to toss me a plastic knife… which I subsequently bobbled. I chuckled and said “my wife is the athletic one, I’m the musical one.”

But seriously, that speaks to a couple things… one of them being that all lesbians play softball–which is a terribly old stereotype. Another odd thing happened, I probably would have been a little more annoyed by this young man… except that he then sat down and started telling me the story of his life as a young gay man. I had just popped into the kitchen for a quick beverage refill, but took a few moments to sit and listen.

I guess we never know how our life interacts with or affects another life. In a moment of not hiding who I am (I don’t wear a t-shirt that says “I’m a big ‘ol dyke”– I simply reply authentically and clarify when someone assumes my spouse is a man), a young man found a moment that he could speak freely within.

Lately I’ve been in the mood to watch romantic comedies. Many of those types of movies that I’ve saved on my Netflix “Watch It Now” queue have involved at least one lesbian relationship in their plotline.  I added one that looked interesting, then Netflix suggested other movies based on that, and I wound up with a string of lesbian-focused rom-coms on my Roku. These are not really serious dramas about gay and lesbian trials and tribulations; these are movies such as Goldfish Memory, Gray Matters, Puccini for Beginners, and Steam (which is not a romantic comedy but features a plotline with a lesbian character that seems to fit here).  Here’s what I have learned about lesbians from these movies:

1. Lesbians are all femme.
2. There are two kinds of lesbians: the ones who were always that way and the ones who become lesbians after a bad breakup with a guy.
3. Lesbians hit on straight girls all the time, and the straight girls are always willing to immediately get it on with a lesbian, despite having been straight till this point.
4. Newly converted lesbians see their new life as “freeing”,  jump into lesbianism 100%,  and don’t ever have to deal with any repercussions of coming out.
5. At some point, all lesbians who were always that way will sleep with a guy.
6. It will be the best sex of their lives.
7. All lesbians who were always that way are militant feminists, as evidenced by their participation in protests or a pet cause, their choice of conversation topics, or framed pictures of Gloria Steinem on their apartment walls.
8. All lesbians have that one ball-busting, man-hating friend who wears business suits all the time (but she’s still pretty femme).
9. All lesbians have at least one straight girl friend who always asks, “Why haven’t you ever hit on me?”
10. Lesbians are really, really into PDA and nobody ever harasses them about it. In general, they are accepted everywhere they go.

OK, so I’m not a lesbian and one could argue that perhaps this really is the lesbian experience. I am, however, not stupid. It would be nice for #10 to be true, and if only it were so easy for people to come out (as in #4). #5 and #6 are preposterous, and while this might actually happen, it’s definitely not as inevitable as Hollywood makes it out to be. This is part of our heteronormative culture at work. Lesbians are hot, but they can all be conquered by the right man. Yeah, right.

So while it was nice to see more than just the regular old guy-girl pairings in these movies, it was still pretty discouraging to see how sanitized and stereotypical these relationships are portrayed as. As with all romantic comedies, if there wasn’t some sort of strange triangle or shenanigans going on, then there wouldn’t be a movie about it, but still, we can do better than this. Better yet, let’s just get rid of the entire rom-com genre and stop it with the unrealistic portrayals of love entirely. Please?

Oh, wow.  Oh, wow.  I’m sorry for the repeat, but I had to say it twice, because it’s all that I’m really thinking.  50610 is my magic number, hmm?  Hmm?  I had to say that twice, too.  I’m really not doing much more than gloating right now.

But now…

I’m thinking that, despite my complete lack of a plot, and no plan beforehand, my novel somehow grew out of some twisted part of me that loves dialogue and adverbs and now, I have even more ideas, this time good ones, that I’m dying to turn into short stories.

My novel contained dragons, telemarketers, telekinesis, mad scientists, lesbians, head-voices, absent parents, dentists, accountants, jungles, and a blue receptionist.  And more.  But mostly those.

And so, I retreat, back into the place in which adverbs are no longer acceptable, and I’m allowed to deliberate for several minutes over a single sentence.

“i’m a lesbian trapped inside a man’s body.”  that fucking joke is as old and tired and lame as people who say “i’m not dead yet” in a high-pitched shitty british accent.  most guys think it would be awesome to be a lesbian because they imagine they would be having hot double-headed dildo sex with a smoking hot young chick, forgetting that many lesbians, real actual lesbians, are older, harder looking women who look about as femenine as michael jackson looked black before he died.  

no, i have none of those delusions.   i want to be a lesbian because i really want a subaru outback. 

i don’t like suvs, they are too big, and no one really makes a good station wagon anymore.  the subaru outback is perfect, it’s an all terrain car, is big enough to fit all my outdoorsy shit in, but small enough to be a car.   

i was telling a friend  how i was thinking of getting one, they asked me if i wanted to make such a political statement.   what?!?!?  since when did driving a certain car make a political statement?   i looked into it, and sure enough, owning a subaru outback is sendng a message. 

i don’t know about the rest of the country, but around here, the only people who own subaru outback’s are super left wing, obama loving, pro-abortion, bitter “earth mothers” (women whose husbands left them and now they “run with the wolves,” wearing hemp and linenes and lots of jangly bracelets, going to drum circles, becomming wiccans),  and lesbians.  and sometimes they are both. 

thing is, i’m a hetero sexual male, libertarian, married.  around here, i can’t own a subaru outback, i think it’s against some kind of county or state law. 

why is that?  what makes the subaru outback so appealing to leftwing lesbians?  why does that car make such a political statement? 

which is such a waste, because those chicks don’t go camping or mountain biking or drive off roads.  the closest they get is when they occasionally go “sky clad” in someone’s back yard or wherever they do thier thing.  

it’s not fair one group gets a vehicle.   sure child molesters get the windowless panel van, but who really wants to drive that?  and yeah, guys with small penises drive hummers, but again, who really wants to drive those? 

the subaru outback is such a practical car.   i would be willing to change to  lesbian just to be able to own one.   and also for the chance to have hot double headed dildo sex with a smoking hot chick.  i mean, really now, not all lesbians are old, hard looking women.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I am still feasting on leftovers. Now we are closer to Christmas and I have a little gift for you. Usually when I search anything that has to do with lesbians, porn always pops up. I got lucky this time and came across a site call LesbianLush.com and it is really awesome. The site was created by lesbians for lesbians and the topics range anywhere from sex to fashion. The site seems really cool if you just want to swing by and contribute to a discussion or find out what’s going on with other lesbians.

Here is a little more about LesbianLush.com:

LesbianLush.com is an interactive, multimedia, one stop resource designed to inform and entertain members of the lesbian community through many different perspectives. The purpose of LesbianLush.com is to provide current, relevant information on topics interesting to lesbians. Categories include fashion, travel, dating, sex and a social section which includes an interactive calendar. The site is unique because it encompasses many different lesbian topics all in one easy to use site.

I will be contributing often, so check out the site and what I am doing….

Mz. Pink

*I’ve been awake since 6:30am yesturday, for give me

So one day my fellow coworker accidentally called me a bottom bitch; which after a slightly confused squint from me she remembered that I was a power bottom.

I inevitably will choose the position, speed, where I allow you to touch, and how powerful I make you feel.

I don’t really believe that any voluntary bottom is actually without control in the bed room.  He may be passive about controlling, but inevitably it is his decision whether or not to squeeze his well trained sphincter  in order to stop the top from entering or amputating your penis had he already penetrated.

But on a larger scale what makes people think that all gay males love taking it up the butt?  Do they feel because we relinquished our dominance over women in the house hold that we all love to have the all mighty penis stuck in us?

I’m not exactly sure where people  got this idea that accessing culturally feminine characteristics makes you weak.  I guess they have never had to run a mile in heels or have their ass penetrated; both hurt significantly and require a powerful individual to withstand the blisters.

If we take it from a power standpoint.  Gays are notably successful in multiple fields reaching far beyond interior design and cosmetology.

Film: Sir Ian Mckellen

Fitness: Doug Blasdell

Politics: Brian Paddick

Business: David Geffen

Blah just look at This

Not to mention all of your normal everyday gays that have had to deal with the normal stresses and trails of life while also dealing with homophobia and heteronormativity.  What is it like to grow up and never being shown an actual representation what your future relationship could look like?

Could there be some extra bridge to cross to try to hide the shame felt while growing up and people saying there is something wrong with you?

————————————————————————————————————-

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I think I was a lesbian once.

I’m not going to say that I understand lesbian sex.  I too am a little confused about the whole lesbians Fucking verses straight people just Fingering thing.  However,  I do know one thing when I watched Shane and Carmen fucking it felt like watching people fuck.

But I do know that when I fingered a girl it felt more like fucking than actually fucking the girl.  Probably because I find no importance in actually using my penis in any sexual way.

So maybe sex is some constructed idea; that there is no one definition but kind of like Peter Pan’s kiss/thimble.

-EPF

Yo Majesty with “Don’t Let Go”:

Citizen Link – Superior Judge William Cohen ruled last week that Lisa Miller, a former lesbian who is now a Christian, must hand her daughter, Isabelle, over to her former partner, Janet Jenkins by Jan. 1. Miller conceived Isabella through artificial insemination while she was in a civil union with Jenkins. About a year later, Miller left homosexuality. Jenkins sued for custody, even though she has no biological tie to the child. Miller admits she made mistakes, like signing a custody agreement while still in the relationship with Jenkins… Hat tip My Daily Trek.

If this judge had the child’s interests at heart, he would have kicked this case out and told the lesbian to get a life. But then these so-called progressives view children as mere accessories to be tossed around to make people feel good and be fashionable or something. Can you imagine the even bigger mess that this can turn into if the biological father decides he also wants a bit of the child. I can see such activist judges saying ‘no’ to him if he were a straight fellow, but do you think he/she would say ‘no’ to a homo man?

This is yet another reason why homosexuals and lesbians should not be allowed to get married, it ultimately does affect the children. You see even if the judge did not want to hand the child over and was not an activist judge, he/she still has to follow the law as the former lesbian signed a custody agreement. The fact that the current lesbian lives in some sort of lesbian stronghold and wants to indoctrinate the poor child with her lifestyle is of no relevance and cannot be used to prevent access to the child.

This is because the minute you say that this behavior is fine, which you are saying by allowing homo-marriage and homo-adoption, you can’t then turn around later when children are involved and say, oh no we can’t let this happen, blah, blah. You can only make that call when you see the evidence, as in when the child is all screwed up in the head and you’re able to prove that it’s because of the lesbian depravity.

This is but one example of what is at the bottom of the slippery slope that the regressive lefties want to pull us down. No to homo marriage, no to homo adoption and you won’t have this problem, the child would be with her biological mother where she belongs and the lesbo would have to find some other accessory to use in her activism.

Firebrand Books, 2007     ISBN: 1563411520

Set in Europe in the 14-1500s this is a well-researched, complex, and exciting historical novel about the efforts of a family of women to hold onto, and pass along medical and herbal knowledge in the face of witch hunts. Luccia Alimenti, daughter of a female medical professor at the University of Salerno is entrusted and ordered by her mother to carry out this task, which she does against all odds. Never dull, there is plenty of danger, adventure, and love in this small package.

Published as an adult novel, teens who enjoy historical fiction will find this a worthwhile read.

I discovered a new series over the summer.  Ann Aguirre’s Grimspace is fantastic.  Sci fi at it’s best.  The main character, Sirantha Jax, is one of the few people able to jump spaceships from place to place, making travel nearly impossibly fast.

The series, (the second book is called Wanderlust and the third Doubleblind) isn’t just a casual, “Oh, watch as we travel around space.”  There’s a lot of politics and moral debates involved, too.

The opening scene jumps right into the action, where Jax is getting busted out of prison.  She was accused of crashing a ship, the wreckage having killed her lover and dozens of passengers.  Turns out it’s a government conspiracy, go figure.

By the end of the first book, Jax has helped take down the government, which I think is pretty damn cool.  The next two books revolve around the development of a new government as rival species and human sects flip the frig out.

“[A] lot can in a few weeks.  The whole universe has changed, after all.” (74)

There’s some romance, which is always nice, though it’s not central.  March is the man who breaks Jax out of prison for his own political reasons.  He’s also pretty screwed up mentally, being a professional killer in his past.  At one point in the second book, he loses himself to obligations.  A lot of the third book is Jax’s struggle to pull March back from insanity, while still dealing with her Ambassadorial status.

“I don’t believe in love at all . . . It’s just a name people give endorphins that spring up after some really hot fucking, and the justification they use to manipulate the shit out of each other afterward.” (200)

What I love the most about the series is Jax’s internal growth.  She’s a selfish bitch in the beginning.  She nearly abandons March when he’s severally wounded, and she does abandon Loras, one of her crew members.  I bawled when Loras was murdered.  But people make mistakes, even fictional people apparently.  At one point, she has a conversation with Jael, a crew member, which starts out humorous and quickly tutrns intense and reflective. Jax says,

“See, that’s my gift.  Being the last one standing.”

“If everyone you give a shit about is gone, sounds more like a curse.” (209)

One a smaller note, I like what the books have to say about gender roles, strength, and sexuality.  Jax gets a room with many of her crewmates, a “princess room.”  Jax jokingly comments on the pink’s affect the men’s masculinity.  A friend of hers, a male alien, replies,

“How could a color scheme affect my gender?” (262)

I’m waiting for more from this author.  Good read; great series.  Plus, there were lesbians.  Lesbians make everything better.

Hey, Happy Thanks Giving every one. It’s thanks giving today! Some how it was yesterday in Malaysia but you see, Singapore’s recognised as an established country amongst the faces of the earth.
                                                Conclusion : It’s thanks giving today.
I stumbled upon a video this morning. You see, this is a fair video about girls. Girls love going to the ladies together. Not only do they go together, they come out together. I must say that I’ve got a few very good examples. People like *ahem and *ahem always find their way into mall toilets / school toilets / public toilets / gym toilets / restaurant toilets / my toilet ( kidding ) and as a guy we’re obviously forbidded from that no-man’s-land right?
How would we know what happens inside?
Good Question.
           I’m afraid things that happen inside isn’t as simple as peeing, pooing or  something ;  padding. I’m afraid there are more unexplainable things  going on inside. Ask youself if you’re a girl. Why do you hide these things from the public’s consience? Luckily, some genius had it all taken down on something I would like to call, Peep-Ciobu’s-Toilet-Ventures (PCTV) – an upgrade from it’s fellow dad, the CCTV.           

           Any denies will not be attended to. The truth has been uncovered, girls – come out of that bushy bush you’ve been messing with. You, I, We all know what girls true burning desires are. Toiletsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss with a hard floor. 

This is all a wicker joke. Please do not take this seriously.

Kara says (10:19 PM):

Good evening!

Amanda says (10:19 PM):

Hello you.

Amanda says (10:20 PM):

I think we should talk about sex and relationships. And I think we should answer questions from our readers. Answer, maybe not. But explore. So I invite all of our readers to send their queer sex, dating, relationship, and misc questions/topics of conversation/etc. to shebesheinc@gmail.com

It will give us things to blab about.

Kara says (10:21 PM):

excellent!

Lets talk about cheating…

Amanda says (10:21 PM):

ok I have nine minutes before I spontaneously combust

Kara says (10:22 PM):

hahaha fair enough.

I think emotional cheating is a crock of hot shit.

Amanda says (10:22 PM):

ha ha

explain

Kara says (10:22 PM):

I don`t think it’s something that really exists.

Kara says (10:23 PM):

I think if your significant other has found someone they can vent to and talk to… then you should let them without getting jealous. What exactly is an emotional relationship.

I just think its nonsense.

Amanda says (10:24 PM):

I agree. I think people get a little sour when you approach a lovey-dovey area though.. like a pg 13-I’d-fuck-ya-if-I-wouldn’t-get-in-trouble-this-is-almost-a-relationship zone

I’ve definitely emotionally cheated. A million times.

Amanda says (10:25 PM):

It’s the thrill of getting close to your object of desire without actually banging them, you know. I think you’re talking about friendship

which is entirely different

Amanda says (10:26 PM):

I’ve had a few exes actually say: “I wish you would fuck her instead of having coffee three times a week”

Kara says (10:26 PM):

BAHAHAHA

Amanda says (10:26 PM):

we get insecure in relationships when we see our partner step outside of The Box for something we can’t provide.

Jealousy is ugly.

Kara says (10:26 PM):

I don`t understand how people don`t see a difference between fucking and coffee though.

Amanda says (10:26 PM):

It’s the physical cheating I find problematic, well mainly…the promotion of it as being nothing at all.

Amanda says (10:27 PM):

Both are warm. both feel good. both get me off.

Intellect is hot. I’m throwing that out there.

Mind fucking is sexy.

Sometimes

better than sex.

I get why emotional cheating would suck

tell me why you think it doesn’t.

Amanda says (10:28 PM):

separate it in your mind from friendship. What you and I do is different than say if you had a friend you sexualized and had the same, or more intimate, convos with.

Kara says (10:29 PM):

I guess its just something that I don`t feel insecure about. If I had a significant other and she had a hot little piece of ass that she liked coffee and getting her brains fucked out by conversation and footsie… more power to her.

Amanda says (10:30 PM):

bahahhahahhaha

footsie

that’s hot

why so?

Kara says (10:30 PM):

provided, it goes both ways.

Amanda says (10:30 PM):

ohhhh

Kara says (10:30 PM):

its all about equality and honesty.

Amanda says (10:31 PM):

I think every couple has to determine what cheating is going in

Kara says (10:31 PM):

agreed.

Amanda says (10:31 PM):

okay, hypothetically, honey, we are dating. What do you consider cheating, dear?

 What can’t I do.

Kara says (10:36 PM):

What I alone consider to be cheating is relevant to what you signed up to… if you`re dating… then you`re dating, you`re making dates with people, its casual. If you`ve decided on one you want to commit to then that’s where black and white turn grey… that’s when you need to have the conversation…that’s when it needs to be discussed.

when you`re…going steady. hahaha

Amanda says (10:36 PM):

going steady?

holy 80s batman

Kara says (10:36 PM):

I think open relationships make alot of sense to me.

hahaha

thanks

Amanda says (10:36 PM):

Me too.

Kara says (10:37 PM):

you can have that special someone…and a few more depending on how life goes.

so long as it goes both ways, i think it can work.

hahaha like marina and franchesca.

Amanda says (10:37 PM):

but I think they require 1. confidence 2. energy 3. honesty

Amanda says (10:38 PM):

and two people who aren’t jealous

Kara says (10:38 PM):

I think jealousy can be healthy… but it has to be talked about.

Amanda says (10:39 PM):

you have a lot of makeup sex don’t yo

you

?

I have to run…. laundry is calling.

Kara says (10:39 PM):

hahaha

Enjoy your laundry and your evening!

jenna jameson last girl standing video

Only the hot survive. Paul Thomas presents a Vivid spectacular. Seven Vivid Superstars vie for a major role in a new international cable TV series, each showcasing their particular erotic skills. It’s star against star in a catfight cattle call that culminates in a grudge orgy beyond your wildest dreams. Seven Vivid Superstars out to prove their sex! An anal odyssey. – 90 min.

Starring – Jenna Jameson, Briana Banks, Kira Kener, Mercedez, Rick Faulkner, Savanna Samson, Scarlet O’Whora, Sunrise Adams, Tawny Roberts

Check it out here

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This look…  …kind of make you wonder where Natalie’s hand is.

(Hillary Clinton and Natalie Portman)

Picture by: dunno source Caption by: Kuldaboli via Advanced Lol Builder

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VJnet asks: What was the last thing that made you laugh so hard, tears came out of your eyes?

The last thing that made me laugh so hard was a true story from Tucker Max’s book, “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell“. The story was about how Tucker tries buttsex; hilarity does not ensue for the first time. Needless to say, the laughter and tears (and lube) were rollin’! I can’t wait to see the IHTSBIH movie. lol

The fantastic women, from Lezzismore will be answering this question and more all week long. Leave a comment and tell us what made you LOL w/ tears from eyes

Here are the vlog replies thus far during this Thanksgiving week:

Lezzismore Wednesday Incoherant Rambling and Hand Gestures with Sophie: How not to talk about Lesbian sex

Lezzismore Tuesday with Ashley (and Karen): Laughing at Lesbian Sex on Thanksgiving!

Lezzismore Monday with Blurbs of a Canadian Girl: Laughter, sex and thankfullness?

Thank Goodness for lesbians. lol Click Out the rest of the ladies vlogs at www.youtube.com/user/Lezzismore

And when you’re watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and adjusting your waistline, just remember that I’m thankful for you. Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Dallas, TX – A large crowd of vigil keepers gathered at the Crossroads in Dallas on Sunday night to remember murdered gay teens, Jorge Steven López Mercado of Caguas, Puerto Rico, and Jason Mattison, Jr. of Baltimore, Maryland.  A third gay teen, Jayron Martin, who survived a vicious homophobic attack in Houston, was also remembered.  A coalition of organizations led by Bob McCranie of the Carrolton Project and Daniel Cates of Equality March Texas met at the corner of Cedar Springs and Throckmorton, the historic center of LGBT life in Dallas to voice anger, to express their sadness in solidarity with the families and friends of the slain teens, and to send messages of hope and support from Texas to the loved ones of the boys who were attacked for no other reason than their sexual orientation.  Other sponsoring organizations were Cathedral of Hope United Church of Christ, the largest LGBT-predominant congregation in the world, Syangogue Beth El Binah, Resource Center Dallas, the Dallas Chapter of the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN), and the Lambda Weekly.  Speakers urged the gathering to turn their anger and sorrow into meaningful action for a just world, not only for LGBT people, but for everyone.  As vigil keepers lit their candles, the names of 100 slain Transgender, Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual victims of hate crime murder were spoken aloud in the night.  The march wound several blocks down to the Legacy of Love monument at the corner of Cedar Springs and Oak Lawn, and then returned.  Rainbow flags were signed by many of the participants with messages of hope and support for Jorge Steven’s family in Puerto Rico, and for Jason’s family in Baltimore.  A giant card was signed for Jayron, to let him know of the support he has from the Dallas-Fort Worth LGBT community.

Flags for the deceased at the Dallas Candlelight Vigil

Bernard Cornwell’s name is fitting, because it begins with a B, and his books are built around the three B’s: Bitches, Beer, and Battle. If we dare be more callous, we can easily translate this triad to reflect Cornwell’s surname, thus rendered: Cunts, Cups, and Combat. Obviously, Cornwell writes books for men, and suffice to say that if I saw a woman reading a Sharpe novel, I’d call her an impostor and a spy – unless she were a lesbian orc. Except, that would be even more suspicious.

Now shut your face and read one of Cornwell’s books before you disdain my sexual profiling; mighty fast you’ll see what I’m talking about. His fantastic storytelling abilities may win over some lesbian orcs, but at heart his novels are about killing and fucking, and these two activities are done by men to men and men to women, respectively; and consequently, I have no doubts that the novels will appeal primarily to dudes. At first blush this may seem prejudicial, but on sober reflection it becomes apparent that Cornwell’s work is the ineluctable male counterpart of chick lit – dick lit, if you will.

I’ll remind you again to fuck off before you, in your wellspring of infinite tolerance, rage against my obscenity. The Pale Horseman, the second book of the Saxon Stories, kicks off with the protagonist riding away from a bloody victory on the battlefield to “plough” his wife, whom he insists is “a good field to plough.” I’ll tell you right now, there’s a lot of plowing in Cornwell’s books, and he doesn’t write about farmers – except to say that their fields will be fertilized by the enemy’s blood. Whether or not Cornwell intends to, he glorifies this shit, and despite the fact that war and sexual subjugation are unqualifiedly wrong, Cornwell is such a damned good storyteller that, in the heat of the read, it becomes near impossible to resist the Hobbesian heteronormative imperative and get swept away in a torrent of the three B’s and/or C’s.

Wut?

But despite the iniquity of Cornwell’s worlds – which, we should not forget, are historical, rather than purely fictive, worlds – his books give me great satisfaction. They’re entertainment – entertainment well done, I should add – and they need to be approached with all the enlightenment of the modern age to prevent oneself from becoming a beast through the consumption of their delights.

So take this as both warning and laudation. Whatever desires they might stir in my primal heart, I know that Cornwell’s heroes – who are killers and adulterers all – are bad men, and I caution you to remember that. But if you want a read that will keep you on the edge of your seat and fill you from top to bottom with murderous, rapacious, and unshakeable passion, pick up a Cornwell. And pick one up for me, too, because I’m nearly done Enemy of God.

-bn

The last post I made, I railed against the Maria Holic manga for its storyline, and its treatment of one of its main characters, the (supposedly) young lesbian Kanako, as a hard line rail against not only the trappings of Yuri manga, but also lesbian characters in general, and there in the comments I was asked about what should get the attention of yuri fans.

Well, since you asked…

Hanjuku Joshi (“soft-boiled girls”, apparently) is a two volume Yuri manga that ran in Comic Yuri Hime, and has been scanlated in full by Wings of Yuri. It begins as your basic school girl love story, where cute and girly Yae arrives at an all-girls’ school, and finds herself falling in love with the athletic and cool Chitose, and finds herself falling in love with her, with sex and cuteness ensuing.

At first glance, especially in the first volume, it sticks to the tried and true formulas that have gone through the growing Yuri manga genre for quite a while: an all-girls school, a cute young girl, and a cool tomboyish girl, and a sweet romance. But the manga also makes inroads beyond just the thing about these two finding out about their feelings and sharing their love. The manga also deals, however so much obliquely, with these characters trying to deal with whether it’s okay for two girls to love each other. There’s a lot of awkwardness as the two try and sort out their feelings between each other, and the manga gets into how the characters feel about actually being in love with a girl, and how the two characters try and deal with each other’s feelings…

The manga also follows the relationship between Mari, a fashionable high school girl, and Ran, her teacher. Like Chitose and Yae is about two girls trying to find their feelings, Mari and Ran are hardly each other’s first loves, but they are falling in love with each other. Their story could be about two girls who find themselves in a relationship that becomes more fulfilling than they expected, and which slowly turns to love. Like Chitose and Yae, Mari and Ran try to accept that they’re falling in love with each other, and try and have to deal with it.

There’s also a whole lot a shagging going on for all the guys who picked this up expected hot lesbian sex. That’s to be expected of the Yuri genre, especially with it’s high male fanbase. Thankfully, it never really gets in the way, and doesn’t feel like fanservice as it is just a kind of climax for the pairings involved (in more ways than one, har har). Pass Maria holic on the shelf, and go seek out Hanjuku Joshi instead. You’ll be glad you did.