I don’t get it.  Most banking is electronic today.  How much money do branches even have on the premises, and of that, how much is in each teller’s draw?  I can’t imagine it’s a very large amount.  Let’s say this douche went into the credit union branch, waved his symbolic penis gun around and made off with a couple of teller drawers full of cash.  Let’s also ignore little things like die packs and marked bills or whatever banks do these days to keep stolen money from being used.  What does he get out of it?  A couple months rent and something shiny for his best gal?  Is it even possible for a bank robber in the 21st century to make a five figure score?  How big of a bag do you need to carry $10 grand if you’re stealing from a teller?  Would you be better off knocking over a McDonald’s?  How much time does it take for a teller to put $10,000 into a bag?  I’m guessing more time than it takes the police to respond to the alarm.

Then there is the repetition factor to think about.  The Methuen police are already investigating three of these things.  How pissed off are they going to be when they catch you?  Supremely pissed, I would guess.  It won’t be good cop/bad cop when they interrogate you.  It’ll be bad cop/super crazy Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon cop.  You risk getting thrown off a building like that jumper did in the movie.  Why don’t we be objective.  Think about it… what would Robert DeNiro’s character in Heat have said if some one asked him to be bank robber #4 in one city in six weeks.  There’s no way a professional super thief like that would ever even consider taking a job like that.  No way!  Even if he didn’t have Al Pacino on his trail.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is this:  It’s not worth it.  If desperation drove this guy to do this today, or in any of the other three bank robberies, then the reward of a successful job is going to be tiny compared to the risk, and then inevitable retribution.

It’s a simple matter of balance.  Does a small short term gain balance out a large long term punishment?  Not from where I’m sitting.

When is the last time, for instance, that you had a meaningful conversation about Beverly Hills Cop III?  What’s that?  You didn’t even know there was a Beverly Hills Cop III?  That’s because nobody ever talks about it.

It is easy to note that I watched three Lethal Weapon films when there are, in fact, four.  The first three films are an exercise in increasing laziness that manages to be entertaining anway.  Every one of them involves Murtaugh and Riggs stumbling across a major drug ring and bringing it down while Murtaugh continues to insist he is too old for this shit.

They add a new character in each film and if the character is successful, they add more in the next one.  Joe Pesci is around just enough to be interesting in Lethal Weapon II, they give him a bigger role in Lethal Weapon III.  Then they mix Renee Russo into the story in Lethal Weapon III.

And then comes the moment when they make the fatal decision to make Lethal Weapon IV and the whole thing goes to hell.

I could spend this entire blog entry discussing the criminal waste of Jet Li in the film but that would be to suggest that the movie could have been improved by including more Jet Li.  If it was that simple, any bad film could be improved by inserting Stanley Tucci and we know that doesn’t work because Space Chimps exists.

Movies like Lethal Weapon IV and Beverly Hills Cop III exist as cautionary tales.  You want to believe that Hollywood can go back and re-create whatever was awesome about a film that you love.  You look at Eddie Murphy re-visiting Axel Foley and you think “what can go wrong?”

The same thing that can go wrong if you keep having Bruce Willis play John McClane.  Or Christopher Reeve play Superman.  Or Sylvester Stallone play Rocky.  Or Harrison Ford play Indiana Jones.

Eventually the beloved characters become caricature and the movies become parodies.

As fans, we want to believe that Ghostbusters III is a great idea.  We ignore all of the evidence in Ghostbusters II and just figure that it would be awesome to have Bill Murray and Dan Akroyd strap on proton packs again.

I agree.  It would indeed be awesome to see that.  But they’ll have to do more than strap on a proton pack.  They’ll have to be in an entire movie.  That worries me.

For every Men in Black III that turns out OK, there are a whole lot more Superman IV’s waiting to be made.

And if that doesn’t scare the crap out of you, it should.  They turn out enough shitty original films these days.  Who needs a whole bunch of aging stars in wasted sequels to beloved franchises?

So I’ve stopped getting excited about rumored revivals of my favorite film series.  Nobody is doing it because they have a great story to tell.  They already told a great story. At best, they are just trying to tell that story again.

We’d all be better off if we just went back and watched the original.

This week Jeremy and Lee talk about everything from the Chicago Blackhawks to The Academy Awards. Lee recommends a couple of titles streaming right now on netflix. The boys get wet over old school Christian Slater and John Cusack flicks, comdians that apologize for being funny, and Reality Show the Film premiering at SXSW. Finally, Jeremy wraps up the month long Blaxploitation flick fest we’ve been having with one of his favorites 1995s, Vampire in Brooklyn. Check it out!

Episode 51: Our Episode Names Are Longer Than (A My Chemical Romance Or Fall Out Boy Song Title)

This film in the Lethal Weapon series lightens up a bit. It’s rare when a sequel can improve on the original. The second Lethal Weapon does that, gone is the suicidal Riggs and uptight Murtaugh to a more relax Riggs and Murtaugh. They become more like partners every day. This sequel puts the series into a good running start. You can only go down hill from here.

This film follows the Lethal Weapon series, with Riggs and Murtaugh demoted because of the consequences from Lethal Weapon 2. During the film’s action sequences we watch as Riggs falls in love and Murtaugh contemplates retirement. By now, it’s not original in its concept but it says true to its concept. The script has the characters growing older but keeps the humor between the two characters. Don’t forget the action sequences they are still there. It’s a series to watch.

February, 2013. For no particular reason, a feature on terrible ’80s end-credits songs. I went for ‘terrible’ to avoid endless debates about ‘classic’. On the whole, people seemed not to take issue with these choices, which include Dokken, Frank Stallone, and Dan Aykroyd rapping with Tom Hanks. The horror.

http://www.empireonline.com/features/awful-80s-end-credit-songs

I was especially amused and pleased by this response, from the screenwriter of Commando and The Running Man:

The thing about the Lethal Weapon series that a lot of other action films don’t have is character. It’s a character driven series. You come to love, care and watch the characters grow old together. The script of this film is the basic Lethal Weapon script but we have a new comer with Chris Rock. And Chris adds  humor to  Mel Gibson and Danny Glover.  It’s a series worth a watch.

We immediately started making connections to films or roles Lee had played in the past.  In 1947, Lee made an uncredited appearance in Laurence Olivier‘s film version of Hamlet.  Australian Mel Gibson, who I met and started working with on ideas for new films such as Lethal Weapon and a continuation of my black and white cop teams that started with Miami Vice, decided to take on the role of Hamlet, film released in 1990.  The film also features Glenn Close, Alan Bates, Paul Scofield, Ian Holm, Helena Bonham Carter, Stephen Dillane, and Nathaniel Parker.  Actor Kenneth Branagh would also take on the role of the Prince, as well as directing, the 1996 release of Hamlet.

In 1951, Christopher Lee appeared in Captain Horatio Hornblower R.N. as a Spanish Captain.  In the fictional setting of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) starring former James Bond Sean Connery as Allan Quatermain, Hornblower is the equivalent of Lord Nelson, with The Black Dossier depicting Hornblower’s Column as one of London’s most popular landmarks.

In 1952, Lee appeared in John Huston‘s Oscar-nominated Moulin Rouge.  At the age of 15, Michael Jackson had me to start working on a cover of ”Lady Marmalade” which would eventually be featured in the 2001 film Moulin Rouge! starring Australian actress Nicole Kidman.

In 1959, Christopher Lee appeared in The Mummy.  I worked on ideas for a new script for The Mummy (1999) and its sequel The Mummy Returns (2001) which starred Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah and Kevin J. O’Connor, with Arnold Vosloo as the mummy.  I used another film Lee starred in, the 1965 She also starring former Bond girl Ursula Andress for script ideas.  This includes the scene of Ayesha an immortal queen and former high priestess, who sees Leo as the identical reincarnation of her former lover, the priest Kallikrates (whom she herself killed when she found him in an intimate embrace with another woman about two thousand years before).

In 1973, Lee starred in the cult classic The Wicker Man and considered to be “The Citizen Kane of Horror Movies”.  A remake, which I worked on ideas, starring Nicolas Cage and Ellen Burstyn was released in September of 2006.

In 1973, Lee also portrayed Rochefort in The Three Musketeers and in 1974 reprised the role in The Four Musketeers.  It was Charlie Sheen’s idea to work on The Three Musketeers released in 1993 which he portrayed Aramis.

Lee portrayed Sir Henry Baskerville (to Cushing’s Sherlock Holmes) in The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959). He later played Holmes himself in 1962′s Sherlock Holmes and the Deadly Necklace, and returned to Holmes films with Billy Wilder‘s British-made The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (1970), in which he plays Sherlock’s smarter brother, Mycroft.

Robert Downey, Jr. approached me about helping him to come up with ideas for him to take on the role of Sherlock Holmes.  In 2009, he played the title character in  Sherlock Holmes and again in 2011′s Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows.  I later asked what happened to Angelina Jolie’s ex-husband Jonny Lee Miller who appeared in the 1995 film Hackers which I worked on script ideas.  Miller came to see me and I asked him if he could affect a British accent and to take on the role of Holmes, naming the television series Elementary.

The 1948 film My Brother’s Keeper which Christopher Lee portrayed the “Second Constable” but his scenes were deleted, inspired the book to film title to the 2009 film My Sister’s Keeper starring Cameron Diaz, Abigail Breslin, Sofia Vassilieva, and Alec Baldwin.

In 1960, Christopher Lee appeared in the film The City of the Dead (also known as Horror Hotel) as Prof. Alan Driscoll.  I used Christopher Lee’s opening words when I wrote “Dragula“ recorded by Rob Zombie.

In 1960, Lee also appeared in The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll as Paul Allen.  This inspired the film about Mary Reilly the lonely servant in the home of Dr. Henry Jekyll portrayed by Julia Roberts, John Malkovich as Dr. Henry Jekyll/Edward Hyde, and Glenn Close as Mrs. Farraday.

In the 1964 film The Gorgon, Christopher Lee portrayed Prof. Karl Meister.  The film was inspired by the Greek mythological creature and commonly refers to any of three sisters who had hair of living, venomous snakes, and a horrifying visage that turned those who beheld her to stone.  This would inspired the Basilisk, also known as the King of Serpents, when we worked on ideas for the book to film Harry Potter  series.

The 1971 British western Hannie Caulder that not only starred Lee, but also Raquel Welch, Robert Culp and Ernest Borgnine.  Actor Stephen Boyd has a brief appearance (in an uncredited role) as a gunfighter known simply as “The Preacher”.

This would inspire me to work on ideas for the 1995 film The Quick and the Dead which starred Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman, and Leonardo DiCaprio.  New Zealand-born Australian actor Russell Crowe was chosen to portray Cort (nickname “The Preacher”) who abandoned his violent career in favor of a peaceful religious life after Herod (Hackman) forced him to kill a priest.  Gene Hackman’s character name was inspired by Dodi Fayed, son of Egyptian billionaire Mohamed Al-Fayed and former owner of Harrods Department Store, that I met with Michael Hutchence as a teen.

“Here we are now, entertain us / A mulatto / An albino / A mosquito / My libido” – Smells Like Teen Spirit

In 1976, Lee would portray “Bill” in the German film Albino (also known as The Night of the Askari, Death in the Sun and Whispering Death) which revolves around a British South Africa Police officer in Rhodesia, hunting down the albino terrorist who raped and murdered his fiancée.  Lee also appeared in Shaka Zulu (1987) where one of the sangomas, or witchdoctors, has albinism.

While working on ideas for Lethal Weapon (1987) starring Australian Mel Gibson, I created the albino hit man character Mr. Joshua (played by Gary Busey).  We also created the albino character Judge Doom for Who Framed Roger Rabbit.  Working with Jodie Foster on ideas for Contact (1997) we created the albino religious extremist turned suicide-bomber Joseph (played by Jake Busey, son of Gary Busey).  Nicole Kidman also took a cue from this while working on ideas for Cold Mountain (2003) U.S. Civil War-era “sneering albino killer”.  I also created the character Silas for the book to film The Da Vinci Code (2003) played by Paul Bettany, a religious fanatic and an assassin who murders several people.  I also wrote the song “Smells Like Teen Spirit” recorded by Nirvana.

“He’s a pinball wizard
There has to be a twist.
A pin ball wizard,
S’got such a supple wrist” – Pinball Wizard from The Who’s Tommy

Due to Lee’s filming schedule, film director Ken Russell was unable to sign Lee to play the Specialist in Tommy (1975). That role was eventually given to Jack Nicholson.

We started making references to The Who through my songwriting. ”Baba O’Riley“ written by Pete Townshend recorded by The Who and inspired by Meher Baba and Terry Riley.  The picture to the right was shown to me of Meher Baba and the saying below the photo inspired me to write the song ”Don’t Worry, Be Happy” recorded by Bobby McFerrin.

It was during this time I met Nile Rodgers who would go on to produce Original Sin for INXS.  Rodger had been in the touring band for Sesame Street and told me of 1982 death of Will Lee who played the much loved Mr. Hooper.  In 1939, Will Lee portrayed Willie the pinball machine addict in the play The Time of Your Life.  The title to the 1939 play inspired me to write the duet ”(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life“, recorded by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes and the theme song for 1987 film Dirty Dancing.

In 1948, Will Lee appeared as a “Begger” in the musical film Casbah and a remake of the 1938 musical film Algiers.  The title inspired me to write the song  ”Rock the Casbah” recorded by  The Clash.  On the same album Combat Rock, I wrote the songs  ”Should I Stay or Should I Go” and “Know Your Rights“.

Christopher Lee made his film debut in Terence Young‘s Corridor of Mirrors in 1947.  Young is a British film director and screenwriter best known for directing three James Bond films, Dr. No (1962), From Russia with Love (1963), and Thunderball (1965).

Young directed several films for Irving Allen and Albert R. Broccoli’s Warwick Films in the 1950s, including The Red Beret with Alan Ladd.  It was a combination of the film title and the red beret that Tom Cruise wore in Taps that inspired me to write the song Raspberry Beret recorded by Prince and The Revolution.

In Europe, Young worked on L’Arbre de Noel (US: The Christmas Tree aka When Wolves Cry) starring William Holden (1969), film title was part of the inspiration for me to write the song  ”When Doves Cry” recorded by Prince and The Revolution.

Working on a drawing of Danny Glover

I love Die Hard. It sits in my all time top ten movies and I doubt it will ever be displaced. I know it word for word. I saw it three times in the cinema its first week on release (25 years ago – I’m getting old), bought a rental copy VHS the day it came out (£80. Yes you read that right £80 for a VHS), I then bought the widescreen VHS, then the Laserdisc, then the DVD and soon will pick up the Blu Ray. I’ve read the book it’s based on (Nothing Lasts Forever by Roderick Thorpe. Awesome) and own the soundtrack album (including the bits nicked from Aliens).

I LOVE DIE HARD.

Die Harder is right up there too as one of the better action sequels ever made and even Die Hard with a Vengeance stands rewatching (as I did just two nights ago – Can’t beat a bit of Jeremy Irons). Die Hard 4.0 has its moments. I love the fight in the car hanging down a lift shaft but most of the rest ventures dangerously close to parody and the softer certificate doesnt do it any favours. John McClane ceases to be just a cop in the wrong place at the wrong time who doesn’t like to lose and instead becomes this indestructable superman who actively seeks out trouble.

Which brings us to 5. Which McClane do we get? The sad answer is we get the super hero from 4 only much, much worse. He flips a truck, crawls out, gets hit by a car which he then steals and flips, all in a single car chase. Not a scratch on him. Hit in the mouth repeatedly with the blunt end of a rifle. Nope keeps on smiling. Jumps out of a window (actually through a window), into a construction garbage chute, falls ten storeys through scaffolding boards and lands in a skip full of rubble whilst being shot at by a military helicopter. Absolutely fine. No, No, No. That’s not Die Hard. He should be battered and bruised, on the point of collapse but refuse to give up.

THE CLUE IS IN THE TITLE.

DIE HARD.

Geddit.

Don’t get me wrong he does end the movie with his clothes filthy and covered in blood, I’m just not sure any of it is his.

All four previous movies have been based on an existing piece of work; two novels, a reworked Lethal Weapon script and a magazine article. This however was written from scratch, although it would appear it was actually put together by copying and pasting from the previous movies scripts.

Bruce says “Yipee Ky Ay”
Oddly enough , No.
Lots of things blow up.
Check.
All is not what it appears and it’s actually about the money.
Check.
Bruce ends up somewhere high and jumps/falls off (Not Tom Cruise high but high).
Check. Twice.
Creative use of the enviroment to kill the bad guys (Fire extinguisher, glass, gas lines etc).
Check.
Bad guys gets thrown off of a building.
Oh big check and then for good measure gets hit by a helicopter rotor ala Last Boy Scout (aka Shane Blacks under appreciated masterpiece – or one of them at least, don’t get me started on just how good Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is).

The whole movie reeks of desperation, trying to be bigger than the last one and go faster, louder and blow more stuff up. It’s a cartoon and not even a very good one. It makes Die HArd 4.0 look like Citizen Kane. If Fox insist on making Die Hard 6 (Old Habits Die Hard maybe), I dare them to go smaller. Take away the sidekick, take away the seemingly endless supply of weaponry (I kid you not in this one they find a cache of weapons in the very first car they break into. Lazy). Isolate McClane, confine him. Stack the odds against him, beat him down, hurt him and make us believe that he could lose. We know he won’t but at least make it look like a possibility. Just for a second. Please. Get a good actor to play the villain (something all the others got spot on) and give us a 15 certificate at least (Don’t wait for the DVD and then put out a different version, although I know there will be for this one because the cuts are so obvious). Get a decent script and director (Shane Black or and I kid you not, Edgar Wright) who can handle action (not just cut every half second, so we can’t tell what’s going on). Do this and I may love again, but not this. I can’t.

I’m struggling here to find one good thing to say about it so I’m going to do what Fox Movies should do with the Die Hard franchise (but they won’t) and simply stop.

2 out of 10 (It’s a 1 really but I just can’t do it).

Now please excuse me I’m off to watch The Last Boy Scout to get this bad taste out of my mouth.

3. Matt Damon – Invictus

Nkosi Sikelela E’merica

Let me paint the picture. Recently out of Apartheid, a country confused and still very split on morale and ethical issues. Enter stage right – Nelson Mandela. Definitely one of the greatest humans to live in the last 1000 years. He does some research and unites the country through a huge sporting event in South Africa’s back yard. He did that in conjunction with Francois Pienaar. Damn there is an Oscar in this story……..

Morgan Freeman doesn’t do the best Mandela and he should have sat down with several South African Comedians who can pull that accent off. For me though Freeman wasn’t the main problem. Matt Damon just butchered the sound of a South African. I understand they wanted someone famous so they can sell tickets to the movie but could they not have locally sourced a  Francois Pienaar. I am pretty sure my buddy Tyrone Keogh could have done a better job and the studio could have paid him a fraction of the fee. At least somehow get Charlize Theron in there.

OMG it’s MATT DAMON!!!!

I mean come on at least if Charlize did the role I could have maybe – semi (hahahaha yeah I did) enjoyed some rugby.

2. Richard Roxburgh – Hugh Stamp

Quick lets go fuck up Australia… With Aids. Will get it on the way South Africa is right there anyway?

OK, so Mission Impossible 1, what a movie right? Guns, hot girls, good acting and good story line. So I know for Mission Impossible 2 lets not do any of that. Lets go shoot in Australia, get Australian cast involved and wait while we this side of the equator I know lets get a South African. Because nothing says espionage more than a dude with a thick South African accent. I mean when you ask the CIA who has the best voice for undercover inconspicuous missions well of course people from SA make the top 10 list along with Estonia, Israel and of course Azerbaijan.

Richard Roxburgh – tries his hardest to do the accent as Hugh Stamp – I mean they couldn’t even do a little more research into names. I mean come on Hugh?  Call him Stefan or Henk something from the region at least. Can you picture that brain storm session. Writer A: “Lets name the SA character Hugh”. Writer B: “Why Hugh?”. Writer A: “Well Hugh Jackman is from somewhere around there right?”. I was there so that is a true story.

Now I am no Hollywood caster but when last did someone say “Fuck yeah, Richard Roxburgh is in that! I have to see it.” again how hard could it have been to outsource a South African actor with 2% acting ability to fill that role.

Of course the only you tube clip I can find is the one scene he doesn’t do that badly on. The way he says “Jaw” Flashbacks of back home.

1. Joss Ackland – Lethal Weapon 2

We have a black guy. He knows all about “Apartheid” I mean he too had segregated beaches – So he bought his own its so the same.

Lethal Weapon is just on of the sets of movies. Its all about the complete saga. Terminator, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and Debbie Does Dallas must be in that list. However as awesome as Lethal Weapon is. It must be said whoever was in charge of casting for the 2nd one needs a slap. Could he have gotten worse South Africans? Well, No otherwise they wouldn’t be on this list.

Joss Ackland a British actor must have had a stroke mid filming that made him lose the ability to act. Wow has their been a worse performance? Do you think he looks back now and thinks. ” I nailed that accent.” Well he clearly thinks so because was like oh yeah I was so good I can blend with ‘My people’ and move to the country.  (Seeing as he lives in Cape Town)

Through out the movie he is really bad however we all know and love the “Diplomatic Immunity” scene, Classic! It makes me pee a little that is how bad it was.

Ok. give them a break it was 1989 and lets not lie South Africa only got semi famous when we invented Aids in the 2000′s and 2010 for hosting the soccer world cup and I mean if you going to have the plot of your movie revolve around a County you couldn’t possibly spend any time researching it could you?

Anyway that’s me done ranting I will be writing a 2nd piece called “The worst of SA doing US accents” but that would just be a long list. However I would like to say – Hollywood it cost 1500$ return to South Africa.” Try scout sometime if you need “South African” in your movie.

Holy cow, was finally able to sleep after taking a xanax, but after only four hours of sleep or so I’m dragging butt today.

AND I have a headache lol Ohhhh boy. (Quantum Leap Reference)
Gonna be a long long day lol

The movie has a decidedly old school feel, with the plot being traditional buddy action fare-

Stallone plays Jimmy Bobo, a Louisiana based hitman. Jimmy and his partner, Louis (Jon Seda) are hired to take out a lowlife called Greely, which they do, but Jimmy can’t shoot a hooker who’s also in the hotel room and leaves her alive, something he fears will cause problems. While waiting to meet their contact they are attacked by Keegan (Jason Momoa), an ex-special forces soldier working as a mercenary, Keegan kills Louis but after a fight with Jimmy he flees.

Taylor Kwon (Sung Kang), a Washington DC based detective arrives in town to investigate Greely’s death, who turns out to be an ex-cop who went rogue. With Louis in the same morgue Kwon believes the two deaths are linked, and meeting with resistance from the local cops, tracks down Jimmy, who is reluctant to help.

However, after saving Kwon from thugs and taking him to get patched up by his daughter, Lisa (Sarah Shahi), Jimmy agrees to work with Kwon. Jimmy’s relationship with Lisa is strained and Kwon’s attraction to her doesn’t help their developing partnership.

They work their way up the chain and discover that Greely was killed because he was trying to blackmail a dodgy businessman, Morel (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), and Keegan was to kill Louis and Jimmy to cover their tracks.

As they close in on their quarry Jimmy and Kwon clash over how they should proceed, with Jimmy planning to eliminate everyone while Kwon maintaining that they need to be brought to justice, Jimmy included. The situation is exacerbated when Keegan snatches Lisa in order to get back Greely’s evidence from Jimmy. Can they rescue her? Who’s path will they follow? And if they succeed what will Kwon do about Jimmy?

The answers to these questions are fairly obvious, but while the film is far from perfect it succeeds as a fairly entertaining action movie.

This is down largely to Stallone’s performance, as he brings his easy charm to the role of the fairly detached career criminal. He ensures that Jimmy gives off the impression of being someone who’s seen it all before and approaches his job in a fairly laid back way, with this manner that shows he’s rather world-weary. He shows moments of supreme ruthlessness and it’s clear that years as a criminal have eliminated any squeamishness about killing, which he seems to view as just being his job.

Despite his age Stallone convinces as the hired killer, he’s no longer as cartoonishly muscular as he was in the middle part of his career, but he’s still in great shape and despite being leaner he still looks like someone who can handle himself. This feeling is enhanced by the fact that as he ages Stallone looks like someone who’s been put through the mill, and carries himself like a badass.

Stallone as Jimmy- Badass

While he’s comfortable killing he still exhibits some heroic qualities most notably his compassion for the hooker and also his loyalty to his ex partner, he may try to underplay it at times or make out that his mission is motivated by self-interest but there’s a sense that he genuinely liked Louis and want’s revenge. There’s also something rather touching in his relationship with Lisa, and Jimmy’s inability to connect properly other than showing his concern in heavy handed ways.

Stallone also benefits from having a great villain to play against in the form of Momoa’s Keegan, who’s shown to be very different from Jimmy. Both are skilled killers and comfortable around death, but there’s a distinct feeling that Keegan enjoys it far more than Jimmy does. Momoa plays Keegan with this kind of intense, barely contained rage and the character is shown to be motivated purely by his desire for fighting. Momoa also succeeds in giving the character a bit of dangerous charisma that stops him from just being a thug.

Physically Momoa is astonishing, a towering behemoth of muscle he strides through the film leaving a trail of destruction in his wake, but when he clashes with Jimmy the fights are fairly believable, as we’re shown that despite the size difference Jimmy is pretty tough and can take a beating, as well as being a down-and-dirty street fighter.

The action sequences are handled well, and the whole film has a rather old school vibe to it, possibly due to the direction of Walter Hill, who’s made a fair few solid action flicks. Hill avoids the fast cutting and over-the-top flourishes of modern directors, and it really works for the film, which is paced well and allows things to unfold in a way that’s easy to follow.

The film has it’s flaws though, and one of the major ones is the character of Kwon. While Kang does his best and handles the banter well enough with Stallone, their buddy duo never quite clicks due to the fact that it’s Jimmy who does most of the work. I know that this is often the case with buddy duos, with one being the maverick and the other serving either as a straight man (Murtaugh in Lethal Weapon) or as out-and-out comic relief (Chris Tucker’s Carter in Rush Hour), but they usually play some role in the duo.

Here however the split is about 85-15 in favour of Jimmy, and while this is understandable it’s a shame that Kwon is sidelined quite so much. Yes, he’s intended to be the uptight cop trying to restrain Jimmy’s more hands on approach to justice, but he’s deprived of even being a good copper, as we’re shown he gets most of his info from the internet on his phone. While this shows the difference between the two main characters and shows just how behind Jimmy is, it kind of makes the partner character look week and useless. If he has no clear skills why the hell is Jimmy taking him along? The film would have been better served by building up Kwon’s role or at least making him a bit smarter.

It feels like an opportunity wasted and as though the filmmakers knew that Stallone could carry the film, but it would be nice if the partnership had been a little bit more even.

The other opportunity wasted is the location, with New Orleans’ sweltering heat and dive bars not getting a showing, aside from a rather cool blues-inflected soundtrack the film could be set anywhere and it’s a shame that the ambience of the area isn’t used to greater effect. Even Dracula 2000 made better use of the city.

But all in the all Hill pulls it off and makes a film which while never being groundbreaking still ticks a lot of the boxes and will work for action and Stallone fans, especially as the Italian Stallion shows that he can still carry a film by himself.

Verdict: Despite some flaws in the execution this is a fairly well made action movie, with Stallone in good form as a world weary killer and Momoa impressive as his nemesis. The action sequences are executed well, and while it’s not going to blow you away completely it’ll still make a good movie for an evening in with some pizza and some cans. 6/10

Any thoughts? You know what to do. BETEO.

Last weekend, I spent about three and a half hours at one of the few venues that cater to kids under the age of eighteen—The Smell. There, my friend and I waited for King Tuff and White Fence, respectively. Both bands play a type of psychedelic rock that is reminiscent of the sixties, more so White Fence than King Tuff, for the most part.

The night began with a set by the trio, Dunes. There was nothing interesting about this band, other than that the majority of their songs sound alike. The banter between songs was bland, the drummer took the reins but it would either fall short or be awkward, since the lead singer, a short-haired female playing guitar, would be quiet, stiff, and barely even smiling. I cannot begin to define their sound, probably because they had no real sound, other than the sound of three mates jamming, unable to play more than three chords.

The following performer was a one-man act, Volunteers Park. He, like the vocalist for Dunes, was stiff, barely moving to his own music, except to use his Moog. He played a ten-minute song, not too shabby, and danceable to, if you dig electronica.

Soon after this “performer,” the six-person band Crazy Band took the stage. I’m not sure why a band would have a saxophonist, if it cannot even be heard through the screaming of the vocalist and the chaos ensued by two guitarists, a bassist, and a drummer. Although I can’t say I liked them, the small venue’s patrons were in love with the discordant noise projected by the band. Moshers engulfed The Smell, and Glover’s line kept invading my mind as I quickly found a corner from where I’d be safe from being shoved, or stepped on.

After the fourteen or so one-minute songs played by the hardcore, cacophonous greats, White Fence took the stage. Although moshers began their painful ritual, nothing in this world could change my perception of the band. In part, I was disappointed by their unclean sound—the vox’s voice didn’t come through clearly—but his mad guitar skills along with his awkwardness are what make this band worthwhile seeing or at least listening to. The first time I listened to them, I thought they sounded a bit like Jefferson Airplane and The Beatles. When I saw them live, I couldn’t help but think that with better acoustics and better stage presence, they could inch themselves into the big venues. But that’s not the point; no band producing imitative work of the sixties is worthy of praise—it’s time to move on and create new sounds, and leave the sixties to the great bands that actually forged a path whence our current rock music stems.

The night ended with King Tuff’s performance, which was invaded by moshers. The best part was King Tuff’s weird facial expressions, as well as his danceable music, and his indefatigability to stand on one foot whilst playing guitar. Overall, Tuff stepped up to the plate leaving us with a great performance and an urge to never stop dancing, even if I did have to go to the back of the venue to hide from the aggressive teenage moshers.

[Previously published here.]

Even when I felt myself getting hooked on it, I certainly didn’t think I’d get so hooked I’d watch for two hours.  But I did (sigh).

Apocalypto, I discovered just now, was directed by Mel Gibson in 2006. The star actors are Rudy Youngblood, Gerardo Taracena, Raoul Trujillo and Dalia Hernández

I like Mel Gibson.  He is probably an alcoholic like me (based on news stories of DUIs and drunk fights over the years), so I like him because of that (ha ha, alcoholics are just cool—once they’re sober, that is!).  Also, he is Catholic; and I like that.  Plus he had eleven children; and I like that, since I’m one of eleven children. Plus, I loved the Lethal Weapon movies and of course, The Passion of the Christ!

This movie used all subtitles and is described like this:

As the Mayan kingdom faces its decline, the rulers insist the key to prosperity is to build more temples and offer human sacrifices. Jaguar Paw, a young man captured for sacrifice, flees to avoid his fate.

Sounds like nothing I’d be interested in AT ALL; so why couldn’t I stop watching?

It was the themes of the movie that kept me watching, hoping good would triumph over evil.  I had to find out for sure that the good guy won in the end.

The themes were family, hard and simple work, love, the beauty and gift of children, spirituality, the ugliness of hedonism and materialism and violence, the result of what the world becomes when human life loses its inherent dignity.

I could easily make comparisons to today, how the dignity of the person is losing the human battle because of abortion…  Abortion is society’s latest sacrifice, society’s secular “sacrament.”  Abortion has become the line in the sand, separating us into camps. The difference between acknowledging the inherent dignity of the human person is paramount and denying that it is.

Back to the movie.  It started with a group of guys going out hunting…they were friends and joking with each other and their human relations with each other were so normal—even though in the initial scene they were cutting the heart and liver out of a wild boar.

Then, these “savages”(they looked like savages to me) men friends brought their kill home to their tribe, their wives and kids–the love they had, the care and protection they had for their wives and children was absolutely beautiful. And the respect for the old. In one scene, a mother-in-law was crazy-making, yelling at her son-in-law who wasn’t producing any grandchildren for her…  and the scene was funny to me.

It was a  reminder and glimpse into how humans are truly all the same. No matter where we are from, what color or religion or nationality or political persuasion we are, all we really want in life is connection, love and faith, family–these “savages” had a faith of their own, a spirituality that helped them conquer fear and bond with one another. The oldest man gathered the whole community together at night to talk about  this spirit.

It wasn’t an “individual” faith–each wasn’t striving for “self-actualization.”  It was a true community.  But they each displayed such endearing individual personalities and gifts–Gibson did a great job developing the main characters so we fell in love with them.

And still it’s all in subtitles, as they’re speaking tribe savage language the whole movie.

The young men held their wives and let their children climb all over them.  The wives smiled and laughed and loved their husbands and children.  They joked with one another, messed around, got serious sometimes, and deeply loved; but the bottom line was they were just like us.

Then the bad guys came and took it all away.  And what I liked about this movie is the bad guys weren’t Europeans or Americans or whomever we have re-written history to show who the bad guys were…someone from the outside, someone else…

No, the bad guys were from within their same race and country—not in their individual tribe, but of their larger society…people that spoke their same language and looked like them but who had become caught up in the “world.”  Big similarities to what is happening today within our Catholic church.  The enemies are from within our faith–and they have gotten themselves caught up into the world. Whether pro-choice Catholics or child-abusing priests, the enemies are from within.

In this Mayan civilization the people in the big city followed “false gods,” lived the seven deadly sins…And when these bad guys from within came and raped the women, burned the village and took the men as slaves, they brought them to their “city” of sloth, greed, lust, wrath, envy, pride, gluttony… it was horrible.  And, these men we had just seen loving their families were now dragged through the dirty city filled with thousands of people. Sin was everywhere.

And since the bad guys couldn’t love, they offered human sacrifices to their gods to try to please them.  Human life was not valued. There was no inherent dignity in simply being human.  And these family men were going to be the sacrifices.  They cut out their hearts and then cut off their heads.

Right before the protagonist of the movie (did he even have a name? oh yes, “Jaguar Paw.”) was about to be killed there was a total eclipse of the sun; so the bad guys took that as a sign from the gods that they didn’t need any more sacrifices.  And so they stopped cutting off the heads and were just going to take these family men away and kill them for sport, but one of them (the protagonist) got away.

For an hour–from 3:00am to 4:00am, the chase was on.  The bad guys were killed off one by one, as the family man protagonist guy persevered—got back to his pregnant wife and child, whom he had stashed away in a deep well in the beginning  of the movie while his village was being pillaged.  He made it back to her, saved her and the movie ended as he and his wife went deeper into the forest to make a “new beginning.’  We’re left to assume they eventually set up home again, hunted, loved, lived and laughed as they rebuilt their community/family.

So even though they went through so much awfulness, goodness prevailed. And they were back to seeking happiness in the simple things, love, family.

If you want to read more about Mel Gibson from a Catholic alcoholic perspective, check out this awesome article from October 25, 2010 by Stuart Reid in the Catholic Herald UK.

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