They’d search and search until an answer
they got-

Whether or not they liked it or not.

And if they didn’t have an answer they
did care for-
They’d add a bit to it, they’d stretch it
until it meant something more.

Until the answers that they got did not
make any sense-
But at least it kept everyone up in the
air with much suspense.

There was a world that wanted to know more-
They wanted to know what this and that was for,
and then they blew it out of proportion, and
added a bit more.
-2010-

But did she understand the Maths?

She may be right. This could be the best way for her to avoid breast cancer. And it IS her decision.

But maths isn’t that clear cut. Referenced information about BRCA1 and BRCA2: Cancer Risk and Genetic Testing can be found at The National Cancer Institute here.

More information from the UK NHS here.

The estimates of lifetime risk are about

12.0 percent of women (120 out of 1,000)

in the general population will develop breast cancer sometime during their lives compared with about

60 percent of women (600 out of 1,000)

with gene mutation in BRCA1 or BRCA2. This is FIVE TIMES the risk over a lifetime.

BUT and this is a big but …..

It is important to note, however, according to The National Cancer Institute (USA), most

……………………………………………………

research related to BRCA1 and BRCA2 has been done on large families with many individuals affected by cancer and the cancer risk associated with BRCA1 and BRCA2 mutations have been calculated from studies of these families. Because family members

……………………………………….

share a proportion of their genes and, often, their environment, it is possible that the large number of cancer cases seen in these families may be due in part to other genetic or environmental factors.

Factors that could affect these risk factors include food, lifestyle, location, inherited temperament and even the air they breathe.

Statistics are a useful tool. But statistics are based on random selection. This is IMPORTANT. Once you bias the data, your results are corrupted.

Removing cancerous breast tissue makes sense. Removing perfectly healthy breast tissue based on the maths … well … you’d want to think about it.

To put this another way the BRACs genes may be correlated with breast cancer, but this event is not independent of all other events in one family. There may be many, yet to be discovered, links . This is a common error in statistics made not only by journalists, but by experts too. (See below)

……………………………………………………………………………………….

Conviction by Maths Error

On 9 November 1998 at Chester Crown Court Sally Clark, a Cheshire solicitor, was convicted, by 10-2 majority, of smothering her two baby boys.

……………………………………….

Clark’s first son died suddenly within a few weeks of his birth in 1996. In 1998, when her second son died in similar circumstances she was arrested and tried for the murder of both sons.

………………………………………………..

The prosecution used paedeatrician Prof Roy Meadows as a expert witness. He had discovered Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy (MSbP). Sally Clark was found guilty and spent 3 years in jail.

Prof Roy Meadows testified that the chance of two children from an affluent family suffering sudden infant death syndrome was 1 in 73 million. He arrived at this number by squaring 1 in 8500 for likelihood of a cot death in similar circumstances.

……………………………………………………….

He was wrong and was later struck off the medical registrar. He assumed that these were independent events. They were not. Maybe the heater was at fault. Or the cot. Or the house paint. Or, as suggested in The Observer article, faulty genes in the family.

Sally Clark died several years later of alcoholic poisoning. More information.

I have read a few blogs tonight and spoke to people tonight and it has made me do this blog, the picture above represents the feel of this blog

So why do we always hear “A woman was ….” or “Last night a girl was found…..” and so on? Why does hurt happen? I did the blog on my Criminal Family, search for it on my blog if you want to read it I am sick of seeing it, the hurt is still there, the nightmares still happen, the demons still talk to me

Man, what is man? Is man this BASTARD who will toy with a woman till her Heart goes elsewhere to be hurt again, or till she finds love? Then the man will look to boast again of his evil act? I don’t and can’t speak for all men, because that would be unfair on all men.

Woman, what is Woman? Is Woman stupid to walk from Bastard to Bastard and self inflicting hurt on herself? Till she finds love? Where does it all end for her? I won’t speak for all woman as it would be unfair on all woman.

Some find love 1^st time and KEEP IT LIKE IT IS A NEW BORN CHILD!! I did. I know evil, I have been Evil, I have walked and talked with Evil, I know Evil, I won’t be silly as to say I know HIM as Evil, as Evil comes in both Men and Woman, I have seen it both ways, there is a saying “Evil exists in all Men” Yeah this is true, but it is in Woman also. This needs re-named.

Many are born and stroll through life and have never met Evil or have never been hurt or seen hurt, I call them lucky or clever, I don’t know. Me? I am clever, and many are, I found love through evil and held onto it for all my being’s worth. I did not let it go and from that day to this, I am love, I care, although I would never hurt a woman, for rejecting a woman’s advances, as a married man with kids, who is happy AND BLOGS IT A LOT I know I will be a Bastard anyway, this is the deal, no matter, Man will be a bastard be he fuck a woman or say no to the woman. It has always been this way, it probably will always be this way. Woman do play this card, I have seen it. Not all woman, this would be unfair on all woman

But as a kid I seen things I hide and shield from my kids now, somethings a child should not see, I did, I seen it all, the Guns, the drugs and sex, the unwanted sex and more, more than I want to say, not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t, it hurts me. I see woman walk from one bastard to another, one beating to another, I have a few woman in my family and friends list who used to walk from bastard to bastard, and also I have Men in my life that walk from bitch to bitch, not all, that would be unfair to class all the same

What is it that attracts people to bastards and bitches? What makes them walk away from hurt to more hurt; do some people love being hurt? It sure seems this way to me in my 39 years here on Earth, or the parts I was aware enough to notice then understand. From an early age the human mind just astonished me, people seemingly, knowingly walking into hurt as if it is all they are used to, or use it to tell a story a few months down the line to say that man/woman was an evil person, people who just crave attention, but not all you see

Even today, and I speak just for myself, I see girls hitting on men knowing hurt is all that is there. I see Men hitting on girls knowing all there is, is hurt. They get their few days or weeks of sex then hurt comes along, they part, they are both bastards and bitches, then these people go and do it all over again with someone else, like a moth to a flame, this type of attraction. Who lives like this? Who can live like this? Who chooses to live like this? What makes them live like this? I am asking here, help me with an answer if you can

Don’t get me wrong, I know men and woman who have been hurt but have been smart enough to say “Never again” and are happy now. But not enough, too many want to be hurt, it is like a person who is suicidal they NEED to be hurt, it is almost as if it is part of their make-up as a person, hurt must happen for them to fulfil their needs, why? Is it a part of a persons being, not all, that would be unfair, but many, is it just a “NEED” to be in this story of hate and evil and abuse? Not all, just some, that would be unfair

As a young man I seen my share of it all and I dislike blogging about it, but it has to be said, why do human beings want hurt? They know they are going to be, is it like people who are  into bondage but worse? The thrill of the chase to get hurt then do it all over again till the end up lonely old people with a shit life and an evil look in their eye of knowing what evil is then proclaim to know what love it, yeah, irony is a killer sometimes isn’t it

I choose life, like many; I know many do, but why? I was a kid when I seen this and only lately have I asked the question of why. Maybe I should ask someone, maybe I should seek help to help me get the answer, but then if I am to do this am I any better? I am better, I use this blog to tell my story, to ask questions, to have fun, to laugh, but in reality we live in an evil world where we see only individual acts of kindness. I surround myself with PURE LOVE and I won’t go back the way. I am talking about it now, but I won’t live there, I won’t keep my mind there, I spent many years trying to walk away from Evil and I now tell evil to away and take a fuck to itself, for what it’s worth, it works for me, but not for all

I played this video below to a man who was in a love/hate/evil relationship who loved his woman deeply and still does many years later, he cried. This song for me represents the blog I have just written, it will hit home to people who have lived this live or living this life, I will also get a hard time for this blog, be sure of this. When we talk of things such as this, hate enters stage left, evil comes in also. See the second we talk about hate and evil and try to figure it out, the very same hatred and evil comes to the table, but not always

As I say sometimes, with the help of a friend “It is all in the lyrics” when I post a song, but not always, sometimes I just post a song because, not here though. It would be unfair of me to class any one person in this love/hate/evil shit, as I don’t know anyone on here well enough. I do know a few who have opened their heart and thrown it at me, knowing I am happy man with my partner and my kids, and I think, is this person trying to hurt me (Impossible) or are they self harming themselves? I think the latter. Maybe they do just look for love, but they look in the wrong place then wonder why their life is shit and why they hurt so much. But not all, that would be unfair on everyone

More love, less hate < This is why I say this often, love is pure and the light I am drawn to, I hurt for people who can’t see the light of love or pretend they are happy or in love where in fact they are the complete opposite, I can only advise a person the same as you the reader of this blog, in the end personal choice is what is left, but not always

I mean no disrespect to anyone with this blog, this was a blog implanted into my mind by a few things I read tonight, not just on Word Press and to several people I spoke with, not just tonight but over the last week or so regarding this topic. I can’t get my head around self hurt. I DEAL AND WORK WITH people who are suicidal, I get that. But people who self harm in love, what is the difference? is there any? Please, talk to me, take me to school if you can, I really am at a loss over this topic.

Let love and light lead the way and we will have a better world and not this below, a song that made an evil man cry, but not just 1 evil man will cry over this one song or this blog, that was unfair of me to say, so I did a quick edit to say, this song is for anyone who has self harmed in love and couldn’t get out of the loop and repeated the ordeal on themselves and their loves ones, they do it again and again and again. I have never once had an “Online love affair” Online close friendship is perhaps a better way of putting it. I am just a friendly lad, I would never dare hurt anyone, well unless, like in the blog below I say if I see a man hit a woman, that man will hurt 10x more than he hurt the woman. I can’t help this, I wish I didn’t have this in me, but when I see a woman getting hurt and I can act I will, Old Shaun comes out to play and Mr Bastard gets hurt. And Mrs Hurt I take home or to the Hospital

Why to all the above.. Very deep blog, and I do like to debate, so debate away. I may be totally wrong here, I may be right, I may be close. But there is no book on love, no set rules on a relationship, if anything just morals and right and wrong. Sadly not everyone knows right from wrong, but not everyone does wrong, that would be unfair

The earliest entries were entirely about boys; later they would recount the days experiences like a mental recording; later still they began to obsess over the future. What to do, what to be, what to have. Lists of qualities I wanted to possess, places I want to see, things I wanted to own. Always looking to be better than I am, convincing myself that one tiny change here and one tiny change there and all my dreams would come true.

If I read through the whole lot in one sitting, I know the patterns I would see. The same fleeting attempts to push myself into ambition. The same mistakes made through the foggy influence of love. The same disappointments in myself. I also know it would become clear that as I got older I began to omit more from what I wrote. I began to censor my entries. They may have been small things but without them the full picture is never formed. My truest flaws remain my own, never to admit themselves to a world  I so desperately want to love me. I tried to fight it and be as honest I would dare, but fear is a hell of a thing.

That fear has stopped me from true discovery, and from understanding who I am and what I want. I have lost count of all the different things I have been in order to mask what I don’t know, and what I don’t have.

The beginning of my journey is to be honest with myself. To seek out my truth. To ask myself questions and not force the answers but to allow them to emerge without my incessant pestering. To be free of this weight that sits on my shoulders watching that I never let go, making sure that the honesty I reveal has been scripted correctly. To stop being so damn afraid to admit that I’m not that brave, and I’m not that smart, and I’m not that pretty, and it’s okay.

Dill had just been on a work trip and I suspected that he had seen Empty during that time.  Yes, he said he caught up with her whilst he was away, once for a few hours, but swore black and blue that nothing really happened.

I kept asking him questions about them, but I now realise that most of what he told me were lies.  He denied that they were very involved at all.  They were just friends.  He really only admitted to what I had proof of at the time.

The next morning he had a work phone call and that’s when I went to my computer and started playing detective.  I found other gifts that he’d bought and that he’d spent more time with her on his last trip than he’d admitted to.  More and more lies were coming to the surface.

After he got off his phone call I told him to phone Empty and let her know that I now knew and that I wanted to talk to her.  As soon as he went to put me on, she hung up.  Gutless coward.  If you are going to mess with someone’s husband, at least have the decency to defend your actions.

I yelled and screamed at him and was just so angry about it all.  I was still so very numb and just couldn’t figure out what was happening to my “perfect” world.  Now, don’t for a second think that I mean we had a perfect relationship – because obviously we didn’t.  We had our fights etc and I knew that he had withdrawn from me so much, but I still loved him and wanted to work things out.   (I had a feeling prior to D Day that he didn’t want to work on our marriage).  What I mean by my “perfect” world was that in retrospect, I wasn’t wracked with doubt, anxiety, fear, pain, mistrust and panic.  

Eventually that morning I told him to pack his things and go.  In my mind, I honestly thought that he would leave me and go to be with her.  I couldn’t understand having a relationship with someone that you didn’t want to be with, so I told him to go.  He packed up some of his stuff and went.  He had a few days off coming up and said he’d come by and mow the lawn and he hoped I’d be there when he came so he could see me.  Then he drove off.

http://preppersuniverse.com/the-irs-ofa-scandal-widens-lies-cover-ups-and-a-full-fledged-assault-on-free-speech-and-prayer/

The posts were titled “5 Simple Questions”  #1 – #5.

All things about God and heaven can be answered through God’s word, since God and his word are never separate (Jn 1:1).
Let’s look at what scripture says about each simple question.

5 Simple Questions – #5 - Have you added or subtracted any words, facts, understanding or fulfillment from the Bible?

Galatians 1 v 8 speaks about the fate of people who teach a gospel differing, even slightly, from the one that the disciples heard directly from Jesus and were teaching at the time.
Deuteronomy 4 v 1-2 also says, do not add or subtract from anything that God has said through his prophets. Repeated only 8 chapters later in Deuteronomy 12 v 32 God speaks through Moses telling His people to DO all that He commands and not alter His word in any way.
Again in Proverbs 30 v 5-6 He makes himself abundantly clear saying if you speak your own ideas and opinions and claim that it is from God He will rebuke you and prove you a liar…and ultimately some of the last word we are left with from God tell us the same (in a slightly less friendly sort of way), Revelation 22 v 18-19 prove that God has been sounding the same warning since the beginning of the world.

Now would a wise and almighty God give warning without reason?? It should make us aware of the fact that this is happening, and then

make us adamant that those words will not be what we accept! for if we accept false words and still believe they are from God we are just as much at fault as those administering those words. We all have God’s original! We have his Word, unaltered and unedited, and it is therefore our duty to make sure we are awake and alert as to what we receive as truth! This truth has been testified and over 100 000 people  internationally  have verified that it is in fact truth!
There is a difference between God’s word and what is simply man’s attempt at understanding it – are you willing to hear, verify and understand for yourself?

In man’s efforts to explain things only revealed by God himself (Is 29 v 9-13, Hab 2 v 2-3, 1 Cor 2 v 9-10) we fool ourselves into believing our own interpretation of something that is actually  beyond human and physical understanding, and in doing so we are falling into the very trap God warns us about in  all the above mentioned scriptures. Through understanding God’s promises with clarity, and  being allowed to bear witness to their fulfillment, as proclaimed by the man whom God has revealed them to, let’s learn how to discern for ourselves what is truth and what is man’s words so that we are not deceived!

Mt 24 v 4: ” Jesus answered:” Watch out that no one deceives you”"

2 Cor 11 v 13-15: ” For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles of Christ.  And no wonder, Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.

 

 

 

 

Also see: “Shinchonji – Delivered not Deceived”

Wait, could it be that was what happened during the Benghazi affair? I believe the spin was that Administration officials were not lying; they were just releasing the information they had at the time…a little at a time. Thus, Susan Rice was made to look like an idiot who could not tell the difference between a terrorist attack and the high jinks of an excited crowd.

Economic pundits have in recent years criticized President Reagan’s economic policies as “trickle down economics”; a term which humorist Will Rogers actually coined during the Great Depression. The theory goes that if the wealthy have more cash – through tax cuts for example – some of this extra cash would “trickle down” to the masses and improve the economy; it’s probably more complicated than that, but I’m no economist.

I thought the term could also be applied to the truth. In Washington’s paternalistic environment, the upper level people are the privileged repository of what is really going on. Since the masses can not really “handle” the whole truth at any one point in time, it must be released to them a little at a time; a process which could be described as…wait for it…”trickle down truth.”

This may sound like a humorous play on words, but it isn’t. While it is reasonable to withhold information that could damage national security, the American people deserves to know all the releasable truth the moment it is available. Withholding the truth just because it makes the government look bad, makes the government look even worse.

What do you think?

On a side note my Father left when i was 1 and ive been thinking recently maybe i should try and find him and figure out why he left but im not sure if i really want to know the answer to that question so should i find him and if i do what will i say?

Although she may have risen from her bed after a dose of morphine and a reading of the Bible, she was nowhere near healed at the time. She took treatment from the doctor for months and if one does not believe his affidavit, then she also filed a suit against the town of Lynn many months later and claimed she was still injured, perhaps permanently so. So, with two sources, it could go into a reputable newspaper as fairly well-established that she was not healed physically on the third day. Mary could have expanded on this story so it didn’t stand so starkly in opposition to her lawsuit or her doctor’s deposition, but she didn’t. It probably never occurred to her that others would fact check her, later. If she had just said, that moment brought the revelation, but it took months or years to to understand what happen at that momentary rise above mortal mind’s claims. She didn’t even have the vocabulary at the time, so she had to rethink it in light of later understandings, but she doesn’t ever let her process and struggles be revealed. She wanted a black and white story because she thought it would be a stronger statement, so the truth got reworked until it was virtually a biblical happening. This was a distinct pattern over the years. She began to claim other portents for her future exalted position as the last from from God, who wanted to be understood as a series of abstract words and not the old personal warmongering Jehovah.

This elevated understanding of God was a fine achievement, and she used it well. It has always been one of the most enlightened parts of Christian Science. (I simply must check out Quimby’s works as some say he said it first, but whatever, it was a huge achievement to teach this Spiritual god of Love and Principle to tens of thousands of people.) Millions of people understand God like that, today, but in her day, she was an early pioneer of popularization of the concept, a paradigm shifter even if she was not the first to think of it. Of course she wasn’t. No matter what you want to study, there is a literature for the concept, sometimes going back thousands of years, to the Egyptians, the Greeks, the Hindus, the Chinese. (I am only referencing peoples who left written works.)

It is a sure sign of someone with no academic training, that when undertaking a scientific study of something, they deny anyone ever invented a wheel before they did. Why reinvent the wheel? Instead, find sources that back up at least parts of your concept, then you get the credit for your additions to the particular study. Doing that gives you credibility, believability, with educated people who can think for themselves.

If you don’t abandon questionings at the door, you can’t come in. Now isn’t that a foolish way to run a scientific experiment in ratifying Jesus’ healing skills? If what you are doing, works, then others following the same procedure should get identical results. That is science. If something doesn’t work, (like a death happens) it must be studied  completely to find where the breakdown in the procedure occurred. Practitioners need to report failures, to consult with others who failed and others who succeeded, then adjust their thinking accordingly. They are responsible for any deaths that happen on their watch. Doctors certainly are and there are Association procedures to find out what needs to be changed when a death happens. And furthermore, people can get “grades’ on doctors and find out how many people died in his/her practice and/or what honors the doc has achieved for excellence of practice.

In Christian Science, deaths are routinely swept under the table, rolled up in rugs, and disappeared out the door. No practitioner ever gives a testimony where s/he failed and a death resulted. And neither do the families.

This results in an environment riddled with secrets. Not only does the family keep secrets about dis-ease and cheating by going to the doctor, but the church keeps the secrets about the deaths that have occurred under its watch.

How do you keep a secret? You lie, if you have to explain something. When someone uses lying as a way to get through life, it has horrible effects on the self and the ones lied to. A habit of keeping secrets has allowed much harm to happen to Christian Science children. If the truth is not allowed no matter how stark or bitter, then lies become the reality. If you can lie to yourself about lying,  you become very dissociated, which is a pathological condition, a pathological trance state.

Unfortunately, I no longer believe Mary Baker Eddy was a truthful person in telling her story. She lied or she was delusional. So I become more convinced that practitioners who lie to themselves about deaths, must lose their sense of the truth and thus enter into fantasy worlds where there is no truth or lies, it is just whatever you say at the moment, made up or not. They believe to a person that use materia medica once and you will have backward progress in Christian Science tempting you to turn further and further away. In other words,  use it once and you are addicted and quickly sliding beyond redemption in CS.

I have to fight a desire to walk into my brother in-law’s church and tell the whole gruesome story of his death and how there had been many years in which to prevent it and point my finger at each one who could have told him that sometimes a radical reliance on God is not the best answer. I must content myself by doing it in my imagination, because to waste myself so, would change nothing and only hurt me. I hope to find readers on the road to disaffection or have a loved one lost to CS. I would not mind feedback, even if it is only to point out flaws in my thinking or incorrect facts. During the almost three months since I started writing this blog. My essential belief in the theology and the leadership of this church was fine, it was just not for me, anymore. Now, the deeper I dig, the more I realize Mary Baker Eddy is a case history for the ages and was proved to be lying on numerous occasions.

I am sad. I am mad. I feel hopeless against the corporate stance of TMC. Now I really need to try to validate something of her metaphysics, even if in an altered form. I am almost an atheist, but quantum physics indicates some kind of metaphysical underpinning to the world. Now if understanding that underpinning to the universe could bring healing to mortal mind and its evolution to ever higher understandings, I would enjoy that. As it is, MBE’s theology is flawed or there would be no early deaths, at least among people who understand the metaphysics of it.

A slave to the ego showed no remorse

Looked for ways to turn the page

But always ended up in the same place

Been traveling through outer space

Looking for another race

These humans try to hide

But I can see deep inside

My love is like the wind

If you feel me on your skin

Then you know it was real

So how do you feel?

Will I suffer again

Will I lose a friend

I think I found God

He lives in my pen

Stopped for a while 

Now I’m on again

The treacherous journey has no end

Will I die an honest man 

Or have I failed His lovely plan?

The lies are catching up with me

And I became the enemy

Painting with the black and grays

A sacrifice that I once made

Turning from the evil tide

As teardrops stain these bloodshot eyes

Never, never, never ever

Will I let you in again

Never will you win again

You’ll never see me again

– Clexpatra

            I have begun to realize that people who say they care about and support you don’t back that up with action. They don’t check on you to make sure you’re OK. They don’t do the little everyday things that people who care are supposed to do. Sometimes they don’t even bother with the big things like celebrating your success or even your birthday. This is just another realization that I have had in the last couple of days.

            I really haven’t been able to find a great support system or anyone that really cares, which is why I am considering sending my blog “live”, as in posting my post on other blogs. However that doesn’t really lend itself to what I want because if people begin to care because they are worried, as opposed to checking in when they know they should, it isn’t sincere. I have gone back to an old way of thinking because it allows me to live a realistic existence, as opposed to the idealistic life that my therapist tried to get me to live. Granted, there were a lot of good things I learned while there, but telling myself I have any kind of worth is insane. It is one thing for someone to tell me that because they are worried (as opposed to if they really believe it) and another thing if I lie to myself.

            That’s the thing: I am so tired of lying to myself. Because I know that if I had any worth and if anyone cared, I would see that in what they do.

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Feet, eew, there I said it, I don’t like touching feet, I don’t like mine being touched, they are far more repugnant to me than female genitals, those I’m ok with, I don’t like them like I like upside-down cake but in the past I’ve done what I had to and I was ok with that.

Feet are weird, I think the human body, male or female is a beautiful thing, ok there are exceptions but I’ve worked with what I have been given in the past to a convincing level with even the most classically unclassical examples. But feet, brrr yuck!

Fine they look great in pointy Prada’s or bright Christian Louboutin’s Fifi spikes but naked, I’d sooner do the other thing twice than touch them once. But life isn’t about “what would you like to do tonight princess?” Life is “here honey suck this and smile while you do it”, ok I know this is gross but it’s about to get grosser – that’s German for big.

Please turn back now children or you’ll struggle to unsee what your mind will show you…

Foot fetishists are seen as low level, low maintenance high safety clients – to most, to me it was an adventure in bite down on this so your screams don’t wake the dead. I’m not sure where my reaction to feet came from but I remember my mother not liking feet either, she never let me walk barefoot in the house and scolded me if I even wore thongs (thongs are not for your butt here they are flip-flops and you wear them on your feet). Ladies covered those horrid things in my childhood.

So yes, I have had to do some very naughty things with my feet and the feet of people who paid for this house. Please step forward terrible memory filed under client #8282…

Harry is his pretend name, Harry is a 40-45 year old IT company CEO (who spends too much time googling “feet” “naked feet” “FILF” and probably things I could only guess at). He was and probably still is large enough to fear harpoons should he get too close to a japanese whaling fleet swimming in the sea. He is therefore also very sweaty – I am not weightest I have done this a lot – he is not the most attractive and he is quite shy.

Shy until my shoes and stockings where off then – we don’t need to run it up the flag pole it’s already there… You haven’t lived until you’ve enthusiastically fellated a toe with large yellowish nails or slowly licked the bridge of the foot it was attached to, it’s a great way of remaining grounded, if I ever needed to convince myself that I wasn’t justified in my work all I had to do was remember this and after I stopped gagging I would be reassured that no, not everyone could do this job if they wanted.

I’m sorry if you are retching, I am as well, but it goes on. Harry liked to share the love, which is nice of him but I wished that he didn’t. As I said above I not only don’t like touching feet mine are ticklish, not in a good way either, if someone gets within a meter of touching the underside of my foot I am creeped out, and it tickles.

Harry and a few others tried to cure this by doing the same to me, I think that in this I proved to my employers that I was worth my wages. I did over time manage to control my horror, I did this by the time honoured trick of ‘not being there’ which means you shut off. It also convinced me that there may be no god but satan hates me on a personal level.

I have never been able to meditate, but I think its similar to what I was doing there and sometimes with other difficult times. Close your mind, think intensely about something else, don’t feel with your skin and chant. My chant is easy, oh god, oh god, yes, yes, oh harder, more, you’re so big it hurts – oops! Wrong context, and I did say that once, Harry wasn’t laughing.

I still hate feet, with my luck I’ll fall in love with a foot fetish guy and I really will have to earn Karma points.

Gossip. It’s what makes the world go ’round. It’s as contagious as chicken pox and as outrageously annoying as herpes. Not to mention it can be very inaccurate and very damaging to relationships and peoples’ reputations. It seems we all have something to say about other people’s lives, when really, none of it is any of our business.

The random video clip above sets this argument up quite nicely, actually. It portrays how when information travels through so many people, there are countless opportunities for the story to be misunderstood, or to turn into a big fat fallacy. Second, it shows that the details of this blond woman’s feelings toward this cowboy man are being disclosed to total strangers and people who have no business knowing any of it.

I know 99.9% of you reading this have had people gossip about your life to other people. I know that people reading this have had close friends gossip about their life and have gotten the story all wrong. I, myself, have experienced people gossiping about my life to those who have no business knowing my life story. And to top it all off, these people who sit and gossip pass judgement on others without taking a minute to validate if what they heard is even true.

And in this town, this toxic game of telephone is so common that we hardly stop to question any of it. When we hear from Jon’s sister’s cousin’s friend’s teacher’s dad that Lucy’s mom had an affair with the gym teacher, our first response is, “OMG! You’re kidding! What a cheating whore-bag!” When really we should ask, “Are you sure?”

And anyone who has had a damaging experience with someone gossiping about them knows just how infuriating it can be. I speak for the world when I say if I wanted you to know the intimate details of my life only for you to offer your unwanted opinion and judgement on said life, I would have told you myself. So shut your damn pie hole! Am I right?

For an interesting read on gossip and ways to overcome the negativity that comes with it, check out this article from Experience L!fe.

Thoughts? Feelings? Opinions?

Always.