I was pampering myself and thinking how much I would dislike being without some of my favorite things. So here you go:

Sally Hansen’s Hard As Nails. My nails could not live without this stuff! Its strong, shiny, doesn’t peel or chip easily, and dries in under 5 minutes.

My Creative Zen Vision: M <3 So I can shake my butt when I’m about the house.

Ice water ^.^

Chapstick <3 It’s vanilla-y

No perfumes, very good for ultra dry skin. I have mild eczema and this is a life saver!

That’s it for now. I promised the man-critter I wold play some pnp DnD with him and some friends tonight. Have a wonderful week!

I took a leave of absence due to someone getting a little too much information from several of our (Mister and my) online accounts. Hopefully, his little antics are over, though, because I’d really hate to have to make a scene. And that I would do.

Let me catch you up:

I am still doing the same thing, working at the hotel and at the grocery store. I’m averaging about 56 hours a week. Not much has changed at either job, except that my favorite co-worker at the hotel is gone. Also, I’m doing more work – at the same pay, of course! – at the hotel; on Mondays, I do the front desk and breakfast.

Mister got promoted to trainer at the restaurant. He’s kind of like a supervisor, I think. He’s in charge of his station (fry), makes necessary changes to the specs and organization, trains his guys, and is the go-to guy for all things fry. He has been cross-training in all the departments and is picking up on everything quite well.

Our new financial layout is working ok. I think we are due for another sit-down though to discuss some things we’ve both mentioned. This past month, we also spent quite a bit – some on gifts, but a lot for ourselves. MIL and her husband are repaying us for a Wii for Christmas (they were going to buy it, but we could get a really good deal on it so they will just pay us back) so we got some games for that, which aren’t cheap by any means. We also picked up a few board games that were super cheap. We went to a nice dinner and Rent! Mister also decided that he needed a Blackberry. See? Quite a bit of stuff that adds up fast. But the important thing is that there is still money at the end of the month to pay the bills.

My new income: rebates.

We have been going to a chiropractor for corrective treatments. It’s a year-long. It’s been helping me with my headaches. Mister enjoys his quite a bit too, so much so that I don’t think he’ll want to quit after the year.

Thanksgiving was good. We got to see nearly everyone on both sides of our families so that was very nice. Of course, we didn’t get a long weekend like the rest of the world and were back to work right Friday (Mister) and Saturday (both).

I haven’t made any memorable meals lately. Mister might disagree, but none come to mind at this time. Or maybe I’m just trying to block it from memory!

Our apartment is still a mess. Of course.

DD1 just came in and said, “I only washed one pair of socks in the load of laundry I threw in tonight, and now one of them is missing!”

Ah, the mysterious sock vortex, one of the joys of general household maintenance.

One of the other challenges I’ve dealt with of late is the eternal question, “What’s for dinner?”  Generally, I like to cook.  But the daily dinner planning seems to drag me down from time to time.  We’re in a definitive rut here in Suburbia.

Tonight we had beef tips, which fit the bill of being easy, filling, and warm now that winter seems to have woken up and decided to put in an appearance around here.  I served them over rice with green beans and pan rolls.  Just like I did last week.  Hence, the rut.

So, I’m looking for suggestions.  For weeknights, I prefer meals that either can be made in 30 to 45 minutes or put into the crockpot in the morning when I leave for work.  I am also toying with trying some crockpot recipes that need four hours or so on high and asking DD2 and Soccer Boy to start them when they get home from school.

What did you have for dinner?  What should I try next?

… the end of NaBloPoMo.

… a full moon, and therefore was EXTREMELY nutty today at work.

… difficult to handle the nutty when you are totally exhausted.

… 8:27 pm and I am going to bed as soon as I switch the laundry into the dryer.

… the lamest post ever.

Sort of?

Things have been sort of up-in-the-air for me, lately. I have a lot going on but it feels like I’m at a stand-still with a lot of things in my life.

I’m 100% committed to going back to school the beginning of next year. It looks like I’ll be starting in January instead of February. I talked to the lady at the lower Cape tech and she gave me an overview of the program and it seems to be more comprehensive than the one offered at the upper Cape tech; I have to call that woman tomorrow to find out what their program offers. The upper Cape school is more ideal because I don’t have to come up with the money right away, but if they’re not going to offer me the stuff that the lower Cape will I’m going to have to bite the bullet and make it work with my financials.

My student loans are starting up this coming month. I’m not excited, I thought I had another couple months until I had to start paying them back but apparently that’s not the case. I’m going to apply for a deferment because I fall below the poverty line and I can barely afford to pay my bills if I have my student loans going on. Luckily, I can probably manage to pay off all/most of my credit card debt by June of next year if I can get a deferment until then. Even if they give me until April, it should be enough of a break for me to be able to just have it all paid off. Ideally, I’d like to have my cell phone, car insurance, student loans, and one credit card for bills every month. That’s the goal I’m working towards.

I’m now back at work full-time which is nice for my bank account. It’s not as stressful as I thought it would be by any means but I’m not loving it because I know that at the end of the day I’m still not making enough money and there’s no hope of receiving a raise until June because I was out of work on a leave of absence [LOA] for two thirds of my six month review period. I’m not able to get a part-time job because they won’t allow any sort of set schedule for me to finagle it. That for me is the most annoying thing because I was told that I would have one when I took the job. Oh well, not much I can do about it now.

I signed up for a gym membership today at the Women’s Workout Company. I’m actually really excited about it. I’m going to try to go Monday-Friday after work, or before depending on my schedule. I’m excited for Wednesday nights because they have Zumba; I’m not going to be able to go once I start going back to school but they also offer it on Saturday mornings and I’d totally suck it up to go. Jenn has said that it’s such a good workout and I’m trying to find ways to not take naps after work so I figure even if I go and swim laps on the days I don’t do weights it’s better than napping! Ultimately I’m looking to lose weight, but I’d be happy with just toning my body and not being so “fleshy.”

I’ve been a major slacker with my scrapping. I was going to try to relocate everything upstairs into the dining room but I’m not sure if it’s going to work out. I might have to keep it more contained, but I’m going to have to clean the dining room to know for sure. I’m going to the BYOB this Friday at {Colorful Creations} to do my Christmas cards and two ATC swaps on SIS. I might try to do a layout or two if I feel motivated. I have a couple in mind but we’ll see how that goes.

I’ve been thinking about starting a 401K since I have generally bad money management skills and should probably start thinking into the future and whatnot. Anyone have any advice??

As a child, I vividly remember wishing I had stories to tell; like my mother did.  She was rich with childhood stories and often told us of her life before she became a wife and mother.  She told us funny stories of Flossy and Johnny; classmates of hers who spoke more portuguese than english.  They understood enough, however, to know how to spin a situation to their favor if it were warranted. She spoke of  how her brother and she wheeled their mothers’ peach preserves down the street in their rusty radio flyer wagon at 5 a.m. one morning and tried to sell them to the neighbors. One sweet old woman called to thank my Grandmother for sending the children by.  Meanwhile, my Grandmother knew nothing about her two little entrepreneurs antics and both children spent the rest of the day in their rooms.  Once,  for the sheer fun of it, the two of them broke dozens of watermelons their mother had grown in the garden.  When Nana blamed the raccoons, my mother and her brother saw no good reason to come clean. Twenty five years later, when my mother admitted her crime,  my Grandmother got as angry as the day it had happened.  My mother told us story after story with a chuckle, her eyes twinkling at the mischievousness of it all.  I listened intently and envied her seemingly unending supply of tales.

One particular story that I remember, was when our family was making the long trek home from Maine, back in the day when it took us 13 hours to travel what now takes seven.  I was tucked away by myself, in the  back of our stiff international scout, pillows and blankets stuffed around me for comfort.  Though bored,  I was going happily unnoticed and thus avoiding getting teased by my three older brothers who were sitting in front of me.  My mother was turned around a bit while she regalled us with the story of the four men who had proposed to her before she said “yes” to my father.  Each one had something special about them and each obviously held her in high regard.  There was the highschool sweetheart, the Rhodes Scholar,  the mid-shipman and the banker.  As she described them all, I began to cry!  I felt so sorry for these young men whose heart my mother had broken. Though she loved each of them, she had decided she was too young to spend the rest of her life with any one of them.  Somehow, my Dad, a simple man who had chosen landscaping for a living was the man of her dreams.  The man who made her heart beat faster.  I tried to hide my tears, but one of my brothers spotted me and of course, as brothers do, he “outed” me.  When my mother asked me why I was crying, I explained my plight.  She chuckled and told me sympathetically that they had all found other women to marry by now.  “Besides,” she said, “if I had said yes to them, you wouldn’t be who you are”.   At age ten that was good enough for me.  Afterall, I did love my Dad.  

It was at that moment that I was struck with my love of storytelling and felt my own inadequacy.  What I didn’t know then, was that I too would have stories to tell.   All I needed to do was grow up and have children of my own.  Life experience has provided me with more material than I will probably ever be able to share in this lifetime. 

Thank you for letting me share some of my life stories with you.

Music is always running through my head.  I don’t need an i-pod, never have, I’ve got a my-pod.

Lyrics from the great Stevie Nicks.  And oh how they are pounding through my ears.  I hate not feeling well (does anyone like it…other than a hypochondriac) especially when there’s so much to do and I’m in a good place to get it done.  Ugh… and then, frustration settles in for a visit.

So, instead of resting, I’ve decided to gripe about it.  Oh, but there’s light – there’s always light and that’s one thing some people might not get about my writing….well, blogging anyhow.  More often than not just talking about whatever is on my mind is my way of working things out – usually when I actually hear or read my own thoughts then eventually I change course At the end of it all, I like to have it wrapped up in a neat little bow with some sign of Hope.  .

The thing is, with all the issues I have with my spine and the traumas it’s endured, I do know the importance of “getting while the getting’s good.”  Every moment is fleeting, every feeling passes.  Seize them all… good and bad.  And experience them…

I let my heart get broken despite its barbed-wire cage, I let myself fall head over heels to make sure it still works.  I let myself get angry when something’s bothering me, I let it show when it’s still bothering me.   I love to feel tears come up in my eyes, especially when they’re the joyful kind – that overwhelming “I’m so happy and it’s all pouring out” kind.

The point is, without the bad, how would I know just how good, well, good can be?  Living in a bubble of “everything is fine no matter what”, oversheltered and protected just isn’t rational in my mind… because there is hurt, there are uncontrolable elements, and there is salve to all.  Life always has a plan.  And no matter how organized, how educated, how calculating a person can be, life can always throw curve balls and it is always changing.  Then there’s always the added Human factor of people who help or hurt those efforts.  It’s all about how it’s perceived to be.

I stopped seeing my life in a straight line a long time ago.  I used to be gung-ho full steam ahead all the time to make up for a lost childhood and opportunity.  But I know there’s a lot more to it than just a few bad days of feeling less than fine.  Even when things aren’t “right”, I know they will change.  Finding that sweetness, can’t be measured…

“Honey, I just want (you) to feel fine.”

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I’ve been feeling really quite low for the last few days.  I was really down on Saturday, better yesterday but still not great.  Today I am feeling kind of crappy too.  I live such an isolated life these days and I guess it’s getting to me.  Probably the weather has something to do with it.  The very short days don’t help.  Today it was grey and cold and dark by 4:30.  I have a ton of work to do and barely got anything done.  I’ll try in a minute and hope to feel better by bed.

I didn’t even do anything with the dogs today.  The farm never got back to me about training and I didn’t call back to follow up.  I was going to just do some agility training in the yard but didn’t even do that.  Interestingly, the dogs just slept all day and have been as quiet as I have been feeling.  Maybe there’s something in the air.

The rest of the week is busy.  I don’t know why I suddenly crashed like this after feeling so positive for several months.  Maybe it’s the effect of the accident.  I typically crash after a strong emotional shock, and hitting the deer was certainly that.  Who knows.  I just hope I start feeling better soon as this sucks!  I’m sure the dog are hoping the same thing so they can get back to their routine of fun and exercise.

Sir Rake is the chairman of British India (british telecom)  who lives in a broadband desert country area in england between High Wycombe and Henley (where the regatta is held)

He is the only man with broadband in the area, to anybody else a connection would cost you £ 68000 pounds sterling.

Oddly the economics and civil service ethics clash – apparently nobody in Hambeldon wants broadband and thus nobody gets it, but if an employee like Sir Rake moves in it is ok, British Telecom (britsih india) also want a .50 pence tax (half of a pound sterling)  on all phones line to pay for Hambledon areas.

The moral of the tale – monopolies are bad and that  bt.plc is no  business (my blog). Thus if in a desert Michaels your man.

I just spent the last hour and a bit making bread for the next few weeks.  I ate the last slices of my last batch a few days ago and have been surviving without bread ever since.  I need to improve my timing!  I actually thought I had one more loaf in the freezer and by the time I realized I was wrong, it was too late.  Then I had to wait until I had a three day window to make more, and of course wake up my starter.  Fortunately it woke up pretty quickly.

I’m tired today.  I’ve been tired all weekend.  I think it’s the weather – grey, cold and dark so early.  I didn’t even get the dogs out today, other than taking Ross for a walk down by the beach.  I think this living in isolation is getting to me – I either am home alone all day, working, or spending my life in my car driving hours and hours to work or for my research.  I don’t even remember the last time I did anything social, other than a quick lunch with friends this weekend.  This weekend I was invited to a really fun event Saturday night, and I was too tired to attend, given the hour drive home in the dark – by myself – afterwards. So I stayed home, alone.  Again.

On the way home from my walk with Ross I discovered that my neighbour is putting dry cat kibble out on the step and my cats are eating it.  I had suspected for some time that they were finding food elsewhere as Liam is pulling out his coat again (he is allergic to commercial cat food) and Evie has been turning up her nose at her meals, yet still staying on the plump side.  This is a major frustration for me.  I do not want my cats eating that garbage, yet it’s like putting McDonald’s out for local kids to snack on as they play.  Of course they are going to eat it, then not want the healthy food that I offer at home as it doesn’t have all the flavour enhancement of the commercial stuff.  Yet this kibble will kill them if they eat too much of it.  95% of cats today develop kidney failure, and this is mostly because of commercial cat food, and especially dry kibble.   The stuff these neighbours are putting out is the bottom of the line.

I went over and spoke with them to see if there was any way we could work it out so that my cats don’t eat the stuff they are putting out.  The problem is that the people putting the kibble out are retirees with little to look forward to each day other than feeding the neighbourhood cats.  My explanation that the “food” will kill my cats did not sink in.  I asked that they at least take up the bowl at night so I could let the cats out in the evening, and they agreed to that.  I may end up buying a high quality bag of kibble for them to put out so at least what my cats get is not GMO corn and ground up dead shelter animals (no, I am not exaggerating).  Still, there isn’t a commercial food on the market that I would want to feed my pets, anymore than I want to feed myself pre-processed food.  Processed food is bad news all round, be it for humans or animals.

On the flip side, my freezer is chock full of good stuff these days. Last week I picked up a whole pastured lamb, which turned out to be primarily chops.  I will feed some to the dogs (and cats) but most of it will be for me.  I am going to learn how to cook leg of lamb this week.  I also picked up some more grass fed beef, and even got some to bring home to my mother, who has not eaten beef in years.  She decided she’d trust grass fed beef in that it will be safe to eat and that the animals were treated well.

This weekend I picked up my latest CSA share and spent several hours processing what I could: blanching and freezing brussel sprouts, chopping and freezing leeks, baking, purée-ing and freezing pie pumpkins.  I also made this beef borscht recipe, which turned out rather nicely.  I started with making beef broth from a couple of grass-fed beef shanks, and it all turned out rather well (for a change).  I will also be trying to make sour beets, according to Wild Fermentation.  I have quite a beets left over and thought this sounded like an interesting experiment (although a brief internet search reveals that this process has a high failure rate…).  I still have three cabbages, a ton of carrots, lots of parsnips and a celeriac to deal with.  Not to mention tons of squash and potatoes, but they’ll keep a long time.  Hopefully the other stuff will too, but my little fridge is stuffed to bursting with little room for anything else!

Tonight we get milk, glorious milk, and I’m pretty excited about that.  I’m not sure how to interpret that I get so excited about such small things now.  The cow is producing less and less as they are drying her up before she has her baby, and I’ve been out of milk for almost a week and waiting for a spare milking.  They will stop milking her completely for two months prior to giving birth – I have no idea what I’m going to do without milk for two months.  This is not something most people in our society have to think of.  Milk for most comes from the store, not a cow.  Milk for most no longer is dependent on reproductive cycles or growing seasons.  My milk changes taste with the weather – a whole new experience for me.  And this milk no longer upsets my stomach.  When I get milk now, I drink nearly a quart as soon as it comes in the house.  Then I carefully ration the rest as long as possible, although it only lasts 5-6 days.  There’s nothing more upsetting than letting the milk go sour, although I then cook with it (or feed it to the animals, who love it sour).  Going back to store bought milk is not an option for me after this experience.  Too bad we can’t keep a goat in our yard.  Well, soon enough…

I am now going to spend a little time trying to figure out my yogurt dilemma and see if I can get that going properly again.  I do use store-bought, pastured milk for making yogurt because I simply cannot get enough of the cow milk to also make yogurt.  I save the live or raw milk for drinking, and use the dead milk (i.e. pasteurized) for yogurt making as I add in culture to bring it back to life and make it healthy again. Earlier this week I almost started to panic as I had no milk, no yogurt, and no bread.  My only quick meals unavailable, and no time or energy for cooking.  I ended up buying lunch on Thursday, which I haven’t done in weeks now (it was perogee day at the cafeteria, so I didn’t suffer).  This week I have salad, borscht, brownies, bread, pumpkin custard, milk and hopefully yogurt.  I got a fair bit of cooking done, but not enough work.  Now to catch up on the work.  I feel like I am always running, and never on top of things.  No wonder I’m tired.  At least this week, I’ll eat well.

Sadly, I caught the bad blogger disease. I haven’t been updating at all and I totally need to work on that.

Tomorrow is my day off and I’ll do a big ol’ post about what’s been going on with me. Tomorrow is also December 1 and the first day for my December Daily album; hopefully I’ll finish it this year and actually put it together!!

But for now, off to the gym!

Every person is born of a culture, creed, community, nationality. Every one of us is individual in that we mould and shape our own character, but we cannot change who we are, or where we originate from. Society throughout the world celebrates its ethnicity by taking pride in the differences of its culture, and national identity. Every person has a responsibility to their nation to carry the flag and spread the word about the joys of being a member of that nations population and to celebrate the good things our nations bring to society as a whole.

In today’s global market place, a small group of African people who have for whatever reason now live in the United Kingdom came together and realised that as an African living in a European environment, we are often at odds with society and culture in the UK. We realised that for an African person arriving in the UK, there is a distinct feeling of isolation and loneliness as you lose touch with everything that you find familiar. To start out in a nation with no friends, little understanding of our differences, cultures, creeds is daunting for anyone. I know people who have been in the UK for 10 years now and still feel cut off from society and alone within communities that very often don’t want foreigners around them.

African’s come to the UK for a multitude of reasons, and as an African shouldn’t we be supporting each other, rather than complaining about the issues that keep us from integrating into the British social structure? Shouldn’t we make an effort to help each other and together make life more bearable while we live in the UK.

African Connexions is a simple concept. We are a group that celebrate and advertise everything that is good about being an African abroad. Every one of us have experienced that isolation, loneliness, and depression. We’ve all had to learn to survive in an unfriendly, sometimes hostile environment, and we now believe that in coming together as a group we can bridge the gap that exists for so many of us still.

When you visit the African Connexions website first and fundamentally you’ll find its an advertising base. This for now is provided free of charge to any African Business, Charity, Shop, Club, Group, Meeting Place, Support Network, Medical Team… The list is endless. Basically if your an African entity that exists in the UK, we are offering space to advertise with links directly through to your website. (If you don’t have a website talk to us, we build them starting from £35)

But the African Connexions website is not just an advertising site. Yes we want you to be able to find things that’ll provide support networks, or African goods to remember home by, but more importantly it is a way for us to bring together events, celebrations, meetings, or just a simple pub lunch meeting where African’s living in the UK can gather, mix, meet and mingle. African Connexions is a site aimed at promoting the good things about Africa. We want to engage with you, talk to you, write about you and tell all the other African’s living in the UK what you’re doing, how great you’re group, business, event is. Our blog profiles African groups we liaise with and keeps the African community here informed about African Culture and Lifestyles in Britain.

But we are even more than that still. The African Connexions Forum is a place to register yourself, and become part of the Global UK African community. Groups, businesses, promoters, musicians, festivals, social gatherings, gardening groups, you name it, we’ll welcome it. We want to create an environment where any African can visit, spend some time, and leave informed about what is available to them, what is happening around them, and having met some people who make their time in the UK more like being just down the road from your real home.

Home is where the heart is, and for every African in the UK, African Connexions is where you’ll find your heart.

The AFRICAN CONNEXIONS website
Follow African Connexions on Twitter
Become a Fan of African Connexions on Facebook
Visit and register on the African Connexions Forum

Okay, so I have a teenager daughter. She has what I believe is somewhat good taste in guys. Whenever she talks about a new guy in her life I have some standard questions.

1. Does he have a vehicle?
2. Does he have a job?
3. Has he graduated or about to graduate from high school?
4. Is he on parole?

So does that make me shallow? I don’t think so. It makes me a mom who wants her daughter to be involved with a guy who has something to offer. So many guys here don’t have driver’s licenses and don’t have any interst in getting one.  Huh??? My friends and I couldn’t wait until we got our licenses. My kids chomped at the bit to get theirs. I just don’t understand the mindset that someone wouldn’t want one.

I know jobs are hard to come by now, but they do make dating easier. Then they can do something other than hang out at the park or the river. Both of which makes me nervous because I remember the stuff you can get into at both places.

Education has always been important to me. If you have the gumption to finish school then you probably have the follow through to have a decent life. This is a big one for me. There’s hardly any excuse not to finish school. At least go to the free classes and get your GED for heaven’s sakes!

Parole. Well, do I really need to explain that one? Time in prison or jail is not an attractive quality that endures a guy to the girl’s parents. Stay away from parolees, please!

Other than that, I’m pretty open minded about the guys my daughter sees. We’ve had redneckds, goths, dorks, and just regular guys. One thing I will say about my daughter is that she doesn’t put up with much from the guys she is involved with. If they turn out to be dirtbags, she sends them on their way. Good for her! I’m glad she’s inherited my lack of understanding for stupidity in men. Maybe there’s hope she’ll find a nice guy yet. There has to be at least one left.

I’m thankful for…

• Being saved by God’s grace through the death of his son, Jesus Christ
• A wondeful family
• Amazing friends
• 2 great church families
• My first nephew on the way
• Being done with undergrad in less than 3 weeks
• Not having to pay for my first 4 years of college
• Having a nice little studio apartment that suits me
• Having a job with decent pay
• Having enough money to pay for the things I need
• taking me from the most stressful year of my life (2008) to the most stress-free year of my life (2009)
• Allowing me to go to China

And surprisingly, I’m thankful for the things that I’m struggling with.

I’m thankful that in knowing that I’m struggling means that I know the difference between right and wrong, I know when I’m following the will of God and when I’m just trying to please myself.

I’m thankful that this morning, while praying with my friend Joia, for the first time in a long time I knew for sure that I heard God’s voice. Usually, I wait to hear him from the word that the pastor preach, or maybe something i read in the Bible, or something someone tells him. But I’ve been so sure that God never speaks directly to me, or I just can’t hear it.

But today, I heard it, and he said 3 things to me.

I’m also thankful that Joia is helping me study Ephesians and apply it specifically to my life. Sometimes I read the word, but can’t apply it to me. But ALL of God’s word is for me, and I’m really getting that.

This is my favorite part of what I read today,

“That’s why, when I heard of the solid trust you have in the Master Jesus and your outpouring of love to all the followers of Jesus, I couldn’t stop thanking God for you—every time I prayed, I’d think of you and give thanks. But I do more than thank. I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!” -Eph 1: 15-19 (message vs)

I feel like I’m getting to know him better, and remember it’s a relationship, and relationships take time. I’ve known who God was for a long time, but I haven’t known him personally like i want to. I’ve treated him like an associate, someone who I interact with everyday, can tell you things I know about him from others and brief experiences with him. But not really confident in how he feels about me.

I’m glad that’s changing.

And I’m thankful

~Lista~

sooo…. I failed to take photos of food I made for thanksgiving =\ i wanted to make everything from scratch and got too busy to think about taking photos. blech! what a terrible blogger i am. so i ran around town looking for truffled sheep’s milk cheese and carmody cheese (recipe snatched from food network challenge mac&cheese winner) and ended up spending $50 for cheese! now i’m no expert, but any foodie would’ve known good cheese are expensive. i didn’t realize it until i was next up at the register anyway, it turned out great. it was attacked before i could get a second to take a pic. also, i made my favorite blueberry cheesecake. from scratch! i was so proud of myself! also forgot to take a pic before it was attacked… by me. heh heh.

hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving and enjoyed the time off with friends and family!

great deals online this week! so expect little to no productivity at work lol

What does it take to make honourable men act honourably? When will our leaders learn to act more like leaders and not thieves in Little Red Riding Hood costumes? When will politics become about the people and not the private investment funds of the rich and powerful?

A bunch of questions that ring out from the mouths of hard working middle class people around the world. The lower class have in time learnt to accept their place in society and seem to be the forgotten trouble of this generation, and every generation to come, until the trouble comes knocking on your door, and the crimes of survival are brought unwelcomingly back to our memories as we realise that we’ve been done over by some fool on a bender to score their next fix.

This is my society. This is the reality of the world in which I live. Trying to survive against all odds, trying not to draw any attention to ourselves lest we become the target of the shadows of the night. This is the legacy that I’ve been left and the legacy I know I’ll pass on. Bankers in charge of my money earning more than many of the Small and Medium businesses listed on the balance sheet in their banks turn over in ten years.

This is the world that I wake up to each morning, where the politicians that rule in a grey cloud of diplomacy that makes their work appear out of focus, in their desperate efforts to be as corrupt as possible while chanting an all too familiar mantra about how incapable the opposition really is of doing the job correctly, while our national debt spirals out of control, and credit lines once extended freely, now act as the rope around the throat of the very people who’s money keeps the system afloat.

Spin is the reality of the truth I am expected to swallow no matter how I may choke on the blatant lies of the bureaucracy spinning the yarn. As our communities have learnt that our leaders hide behind fire screens, pointing in any way possible to create a diversion from the original issues, it has become the norm for society to accept that lying is a way of life, and if you tell the truth you are regarded as being as dishonest as anyone else so What I ask is the point of standing out from the crowd, and trying to be honest.

I have come to the realisation that crime is what really pays in life today, and living by the book, trying to make it in this world without resorting to some sort of dodgy activity is really just not worth it. You know the more I look at society around me today the more I realise that I live in one really messed up world. Morality, respect, justice, chivalry and common decency are things of a bi gone era.

What a depressing thought. What has our world come to? Is this all society can show off for itself after 2000 years of mankind here on earth. Yes that would seem to be the case. It is a harsh reminder that life is not all it’s cracked up to be. But the moral of the story is that no matter how hard life is you can still enjoy it, and it’s up to us to find the things in life that make it enjoyable and cherish those moments in our life.

The older I get and the more I begin to understand this life of mine, the more I realise that friendship is one of the most important relationships that we’ll ever develop in our lives. And when I use the term friendship, you find that most adults can count on one hand the people that they value as their real friends. You see friendship is not all about what you can get out of someone, it’s probably more importantly about what you can give to someone. Selfishness aside not many people know how to be a real friend to someone they cannot understand, do not have respect for, and don’t really rate as an individual. In these circumstances I believe it is far better to be honest with yourself and the other person about where your relationship stands and focus your energy on those friendships that really mean something, rather than waist time being friendly when you don’t mean it.

I have also come to accept that unless you are born exceptionally rich, or land with your bum in the proverbial butter, that hard work is a fact of life. Good things don’t come to those that don’t get up and commit themselves to getting what they want. As a society we need to get out of the daydream that fame and celebrity will be the answer to all our woes. An understanding that hard work and focus on a realistic goal is what is going to make life more comfortable for you, unless living in a council flat on the dole is what makes you happy. Get some ambition, and wake up to the challenge of life before it passes you by.

As the world gets smaller, and its more and more easy to keep up with an international spectrum of friends, relatives, acquaintances, business colleagues and others that fill the gaps, it almost seems that you have to reduce the size of the world around you and keep your near and dear close to you in an isolated bubble of protection that allows you all to thrive in your own little environment. We meet and speak with people on a global scale, but like most other people out there, the world as a whole is desperate to make it, and will climb over any obstacle to get there, even if that obstacle is you.

I’ve also learnt that in life to be in the centre of attention, to aim to be the hero, or seeking for celebrity status is only going to set you up for a fall. People are only admired for an instant in life, and then torn apart as the truth about their lives comes out behind the scenes. How often it is that I meet people who are yearning for attention only to hear rumour after rumour behind their back as the reality is that in order to attain their popularity most celebrities have hurt and trodden all over someone on the way up, and I’ve also come to learn that it’s a long lonely fall coming down too.

It is a human instinct to want to be credited for the things we do. It is only natural to want acknowledgment for the things we do. But in this life it is sometimes better to do quietly, without seeking credit, and reap a reward far greater than man’s praise. More is done by those who quietly pass by in the night, changing people’s lives without recognition for their great deeds, than those that cling to their fragile pillar of the spot light. I tell you now, those people come and go and amount to nothing in your life. Those that are quietly there for you, encouraging you to be all you can, listening and saying nothing when you are rabbeting on about nothing, those who quietly pick up the pieces when you crash and burn and stand back holding them till your ready to return and accept their help to put your life back together. Those are the real treasures of your life. Learn to tell the difference between the light hoggers and the light bringers, and give of your time wisely.

Much of what we do in life is judged by others. And having watched our leaders, read the business success stories, and learnt from experience, I’ve come to the conclusion that it matters not what the world thinks of you. What is really important is what you think of yourself. Are you able to sleep at night without the nightmares keeping you awake? Is your conscious clear and most of all are you proud of what you’ve achieved in life? Forget trying to impress the world, stop hanging around with people whose sole ambition in life is to be famous, and learn to enjoy life around those that are important, make you smile, make you feel special, and keep you on the right road of sanity. In doing this the depression of the realities of the world we live in start to fade off into the distance, and while we have to accept that this is part of the world that we call home, we learn and ability to survive and make our survival tolerable with moments of pure happiness and enjoyment and lots of treasures to be thankful for.