Chapter 1.5

This is neither the beginning or the end. The story only continues from one line to the next. There are no page breaks, no periods, no chapters. This story only continues. The words continue to change. The characters are slowly being developed over time. New characters are introduced as others are being eliminated. Each character adds more to the development of the story and none will take away any of the meaning.

The true meaning of the story will never be truly recognized until the end. The same can be said about the meaning of life. I may never know what the meaning is for me. As long as I let the story continue to develop and keep turning the pages of my life I may soon come to the end where I can clearly see what the meaning is for me.

The meaning of each persons life is not clearly defined within the realms of their current situation. A person must continue to live their life a day at a time without ever knowing what their particular meaning is. The meaning of the person life can only be defined as a fact after all the particular instances of the person’s life come to an end. That is if someone starts a program that saves lives 3o years, 50 years, or even 100 years after their death that person’s life cannot be defined until the action that they started comes to an end giving a result on which to define that person.

If we think of a person, and what they have accomplished in their life, and see that their accomplishments continue after their death to an infinite extent we cannot prescribe a definition to that person’s life. There is no result on which to base that definition on if their actions continue to develop and unfold in the lives of others after their death. That person’s story, the person’s life continues after their death even without their bodily presence. Therefore there is no way to find the meaning to that person’s life. The story of their life will only continue.

If you are in need of having a meaning for you life, it would be best for you to do nothing at all. Leave no mark on the land on which you currently reside. Take no action as that action may result in an infinite result preventing your life from having meaning. It will be sad to say that if you do take this path that the only meaning that you could possible achieve would be dull, boring, loveless and uncaring. The meaning of your life would be the result of a life solitude therefore making you a recluse.

Life is what happens while you’re planning your future.  A favorite truism of mine.  It’s been a while since I posted on this blog because I was trying to plan a cohesive series of related events leading to an inciteful observation of life as I’ve known it.  A pompous premise if ever there was one.  Planning is a worthwhile exercise as long as it doesn’t become your goal.  I have found that to move through life gracefully and happily requires major deviations from “plans”. 

I love to dance and tend to look at dance as a metaphor for living.  You can learn any dance with lessons and practice but, to truly be a dancer, you have to move to the music.  You may know all the steps to the dance but, when the music changes, you need to know how to change with it.  I have tried to do that throughout my life and feel fairly secure in my ability to do so.

When I was five years old, my mother says, I thought I could fly.  She tells the story (which I don’t remember) of a day in the projects of south Dallas when I thought I was Batman.  I loved Batman.  I never missed a movie or serial about Batman.  My mother made me a Batman mask and cowl and cape  from a pillowcase.  There is a picture of me from my ancient past wearing my batman outfit beside my brother, two years my junior, dressed as Robin.  We were a force to be reckoned with.

Mom says that one day she went outside to call me home from my play to dinner.  There were three story apartment buildings being constructed up and down our street.  She saw me standing at the peak of the roof of an apartment under construction, wearing my Batman outfit.  She yelled, Ken!  I yelled those famous words of maiming and mayhem, “Hey Mom, watch this!”  I began running down the roof to the eaves and stopped.  That’s all we know.  Who knows why I stopped? 

A few years ago we brought a great blues singer to our theater and we became pretty good friends.  Eric Bibb has played our theater five times.  He has packed the house each time.  I love his music and I like him immensely.  I own six of his CDs and play them often.  There is a song he sings that brings these rambling recollections into order.  It  is my Anthem!

                                                              The Cape

He’s eight years old with a flour sack cape tied all around his neck.

He climbed up on the garage figurin, what the heck?”

Screwed his courage up so tight, the whole thing came unwound.

Got a runnin start and, bless his heart, he headed for the ground.

He’s one of those who knows that life is just a leap of faith.

So spread your arms and hold your breath and always trust your cape.

All grown up with a flour sack cape tied all around his dreams.

He’s full of piss and vinegar and he’s bustin at the seams.

Well he licked his thumb and checked the wind, it’s gonna be do or die.

He wasn’t scared of nothin boy, he was pretty sure he could fly.

He’s one of those who knows that life is just a leap of faith.

So spread your arms and hold your breath and always trust your cape.

Now he’s old and gray with a flour sack cape tied all around his head.

He’s still jumpin off the garage and he will be till he’s dead.

All these years the people said, “He’s actin like a kid”

He didn’t know he could not fly….so he did.

I been flyin a long time now and hope I don’t fall soon.

Salam,

Kata-kata nasihat amat menyukarkan bagi orang yang bodoh, sebagaimana sukarnya berjalan di atas jalan yang tidak rata bagi seorang tua. – Luqman al-Hakim

Bertemanlah dengan orang yang suka membela kebenaran. Dialah hiasan di kala kamu senang dan perisai sewaktu kamu susah. – unknown

Wassalam

What matters is the center inside yourself – and how you live, and how you treat people, and what you can contribute as you pass through life on this earth, and how honestly you love, and how carefully you make choices. Those are the things that really matter.

~excerpt from Refusing to be a Man by John Stollenberg

Tom’s comment and my dad’s recent posts made me remember one of the most memorable sales I ever made.  I was COO of a start up company developing its first CCRC (continuing care retirement community) in Pennsylvania and I was helping the sales team sell during events and when things were busy.  I got a deposit from a gentleman that stated he and his wife had been to over 15 retirement communities in the northeast looking for the right fit.  They were 78 and 73 years of age.  He told me as he was writing the check the reason he was depositing with us:  “Everywhere I have been they show me the same ole things…everyone has a pool, dining room, activities and so on; and they tell me they will take care of us.  That we won’t have a care in the world.  I’m way too young to be taken care of.  I’m not going on vacation, I’m going on to the next phase in my life and trying to define what that will be.  You are the first person to tell me what I could do here and what I could be here.  Its like looking for a college.  I’m looking for a well rounded experience and how I can best grow.”

This statement had a profound effect and it dawned on me that the whole marketing approach of “a cruise ship lifestyle” is not what young-minded vital seniors want.  The reason the age of people moving to retirement communities is over 82 on average is because we don’t sell the possibilities and the growth opportunities.  We sell how to meet needs only.  We don’t tell stories, get customers engaged in programs and events in which they are interested and really work at understanding their motivations and desires, working to show how those can be developed and met at retirement communities.

My dad spoke of legacy and it’s importance in an earlier post aptly named Legacy.  It is an important driver for seniors.  And one we need to acknowledge if we want to be successful in selling retirement community options as an industry.

…only as we focus more on contributing than consuming can we create the context that makes peace in all aspects of life possible. It is in leaving a legacy that we find meaning….

~ exerpt from David Whyte’s Crossing the Unknown Sea: Work as a Pilgrimage of Identity (2001)

Abridged Version

Flo is the experience of time compression. A day spent walking in the woods will pass more quickly and easily then one spent sitting on the living room couch. A phone conversation with an old friend may seem like just a couple of minutes when its actually been an hour. This is Flo.  A long bus ride without a good book or conversation will usually prove to have a lack of Flo.

Unabridged Version

Ah, Flo.  Speaking of athletes.  There has been no other group in our world that has garnered more recognition concerning this aspect of LeToonz.  For the world of sports or any artist by reasonable extension, Flo is short for “being in the zone”.  It is a term that inspired the content for an entire book by a famous University of Chicago professor.  Many of us can relate to Flo in terms of “time flying.” Or the common idiom “Time flies when you’re having fun.”

Good movies will Flo. If it doesn’t it doesn’t make money.  Moviemakers are very conscious of this.  Our experience in a mall, especially with children, needs to Flo otherwise it starts to fell like a very, very long time. Developers know this and have made a concerted effort to make us feel more FLO while we shop so we will spend more time and money. Have you noticed that shopping malls have become huge entertainment Flo centers with movie theatres, demonstrations events and every kind of fast food under the sun?  Its all been designed to increase the amount of Flo you experience and decrease you desire to go home or shop somewhere else. Designing for Flo has become an unconscious theme in the design of everything people interact with today – from buildings plans to vending machines, to video games to dentist’s offices. They are all designed to increase Flo because Flo is frictionless, and being  in Flo compresses our sense of time.

The most important thing about Flo is that it can occur with and without insight or Ah-Ha’s.  Couch Potatoes enjoy watching a lot of TV but are they experiencing any new learning or having Ah-ha’s? So obviously it is where we have Flo and Ah-Ha that we need to find.  Where we have Flo without Ah-Ha’s is sure to be an environment or experience that will lead to a bad taste in the mouth over time if not immediately.  The whole concept behind entertainment is moving towards creating a Flo experience that takes our minds out of the equation for a while.  That deliberately stops the Asking Ourselves or the non-purposeful Ah-Ha’s of our daily lives from happening. 

We can LetGo and Flo.  We can experience Flo while we focus and concentrate on a thing while Asking Ourselves, and we certainly know about the Flo that is conjoined with DoingIt.  Beware of the Flo without Ah-Ha’s for that is the insidious climate of life we are living.

We all seek to be in Flo in life more often that not.  What we need to do is to be in Flo. Or have Flo experiences that are occurring while in pursuit of our gifts, innate dispositions, nature and SELF.  Any other kind of Flo is maladaptive and there is plenty of that to be found, way too much.

…or Ah-Ha Moment or Aha Moment or Insight or Creative Insight or Human Insight or oh-oh or Eureka or …

Abridged Version

Ah-Ha’s only occur after we LetGo.  Typically this is a moment in time, a hardly noticeable event.  That is why we have become so unconscious of the nature of the relationship of all these elements.  They are so common.  The Letting Go that precedes insight may also take on major dimensions as in a heart attack, or divorce, major disaster that could have been avoided had we asked ourselves differently and so on.   But typically LetGo is no more than a look out the window, or a shower or someone saying something and we go dreamy for a nanosecond and suddenly we experience Ah-Ha!

Unabridged Version

Ah-Ha is probably the sexiest, most immediately interesting of all the characters.  Ah-ha is insight.  Ah-ha is revelation, getting it, clicking, figuring it out, a hunch, an intuitive knowing about something.  It is WOW.  It is Eureka.  It is “That’s it!” It is a universal guttural gesture made in every language in every nation or tribe of this world.  It is universal in meaning and totally individual at the same time.  It is any and all experiences of something new or seeing something new about something we already know about.  Many at times and none at others share in the pattern of them.  It can apply to our lives or to the lives of a people a generation away; as in insights that are ahead of their time.  It can have magnitude, be big or small.  It can have direction up, down, in and out.  It can happen many times in a row or all alone.  Under the right circumstances the frequency can be enhanced whether it be with an individual, group, company or country.

Like all LeToonz characters, Ah-Ha has three basic dimensions.  The Head, Heart and Whole or Mind, Body and Spirit.  So we can have Ah-Ha’s that are intellectual/cognitive, physical/visceral or both.  They can be functional, as in how to brush your teeth or floss or significant as in discovering natural abilities or dispositions for what we do best.  They can be right and wrong as in having Ah-Ha’s about hurting someone or about saving a life. 

Everybody has Ah-Ha’s and we all have them differently.  Ah-Ha’s are usually considered to happen to creative people.  If that’s the case then we are all creative people with dispositional variations.

We can have Ah-Ha’s about Ah-Ha’s.  We also have Ah-Ha’s about how we Ask Ourselves and so on. This is a higher or deeper level of introspection or Asking Ourselves.  We can LetGo of having certain kinds of Ah-Ha’s or we just LetGo to them.  We have to Ask Ourselves to begin to evolve.

The Intellectual Ah-Ha’s may or may not be aligned with our SELF or involved with being who and what we are supposed to be in life.  As a consequence, being simply intelligent may have nothing to do with being who we really are.  This is nothing new to those of us who have spent our lives doing intelligent things and finding ourselves spiritually drained.  As a matter of fact the two are related.  Having visceral insight tends to point to those aspects of ourselves that are innate or that we are by our very nature predisposed to know and act on.  The optimal insights are those that combine, either sequentially or simultaneously insight occurring both cognitively and viscerally.

As with all the LeToonz, Ah-Ha is a piece of a process puzzle.  They all work together and if we are not having the right kinds of Ah-Ha’s based on our innate-ness or our particular human-ness, then we may be forced, in a personal or professional disaster to LetGo.  Sometimes we label living life this way as “trial and error”as though we are forced to proceed through life in blindness and ignorance of our true SELF.  WE can this the feedback versus the feedforward condition of an individual, company or country.  Unfortunately the feedback condition is where most all of us operate… until we have to LetGo, have an Ah-Ha that is most certainly visceral, and DoIt the right way.

We all have a “Path-of-Ah-Ha” in our lives more or less aligned with ourSELF.  The objective in anyone’s’ life should be to have a Path-of-Ah-ha as perfectly aligned with their innate dispositions as possible.  The vital, positive and everlasting psycho-social, economic, political and environmental consequences of this progressive personal and cultural action for the betterment of all humankind is unimaginable and yet it must be attempted as soon as possible for our well-being and our families.

Our YOUnique LeCozmos

 

Abridged Version

The “Le” in Le Toonz refers to “Learning as Evolving.  Toonz is cartoon with a Z. The Z means anything you want it to mean. The “Evolving” part refers to our development, growth and living fully each day.  It assumes that we are all disposed in a multi-faceted fashion to do something significant with our lives.  LTZ is about some serious stuff but that’s not why kids buy them.  They buy them because they are new, fun and seem to make them feel better for some unexplainable reason.  That which we won’t explain through the consumed layer of Le Toonz we will touch on here.

Unabridged Version

LTZ is about becoming aware and acting with intention about that which is Significant about us or what we call Our SELF.  LTZ are a simple and complicated group of characters illustrating what we consider to be a universal set of interconnected, linear and nonlinear, predominately human processes of thought and feeling.  You’ll see what we mean by “predominantly human” later. Simply speaking LTZ is a team.  LTZ are a highly active bunch.  They work best when they work together.  They educate, coach and lead us to the 6W’s – the Who, What, Where and When, How and WHY of us.  LTZ work on many levels at the same time.  You can do many things at once in the parallel universe of LTZ.  LTZ lead us to the personal and intentionally livable discovery of what many loosely refer to as the phenomena of Synergy, a dynamic phenomenon we take very, very seriously here in LTZville.  You’ve heard about this phenomenon from a multitude of mouths.  And may even know its specific definition – the whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts. That is to say, LTZ exist to help us discover that which makes us all special and that which makes us “YOUnique”.

            LTZ represents a combination of fundamental life and living processes that every human being and every mix of human beings, from families to economies to countries, utilize every moment of their waking lives.  Yes, we think of economies as living processes in that they are based on human systems playing in real-time and overtime with each other.  The same would apply to education, politics, and ecosystems.

             LTZ live in three basic and entwined dimensions:  psychological, physical and spiritual.  We assume mood and emotion operate within a combined psychophysical interpretation.  Simplifying these three in LTZville we call these the Head, Heart and Whole Self-dimensions or facets of a human being.  Each LTZ can operate and effect change through separate, combined or merged, intellectual, visceral and spiritual actions.  The optimal way to process in LTZ lingo is as a “Whole”.  This would mean that all three of the above dynamic dimensions are operating together- seamlessly.  LTZ are most alive when they are Whole.  The Whole form of LTZ activities results as a combination of the Head and Heart operating at the same time and without separation.  You don’t just think a thing you feel it as well and at the same time.  In effect when we are Whole, our Minds and Hearts (or Head and Heart) are not separate processing dimensions, they are one.  For example, the LTZ character Ah-Ha represents the concept, moment and experience of human insight. It distinguishes those thoughts that are intellectual, objective, factual or logical, etc. from those thoughts of the heart, which are visceral emotion and deeply felt.  When an Ah-Ha occurs that combines both these dimensions of the Head and the Heart without separation, it is considered a Whole Ah-Ha. We need to have these more often and that’s an indeterminable understatement. 

            Luckily as it turns out, there is no specific religious order to LTZ.  They did not come from any religious ideology.  This Self-evolving and Self-systems evolving process model which LTZ enjoyably illustrates for kids and families, can and has acted as a support vehicle for any denomination or religious order.  All the LTZ characters exist without antagonism within any ideology.  They are truly universal.

             Speaking of Universal. The beauty of LTZ is found in their universal operation independent of people but existing for the sole purpose of assisting them in figuring out what makes them distinctive.  Here we see the simply complicated aspects of LTZ surface.  We can say we all learn differently yet we all learn just the same.  The idea of merging learning into one process and seeing our universality and our individual distinctiveness or Significance, is as one ongoing affair. We can say we all evolve individually yet we all evolve, more or less, just the same. LTZ operates universally to unfold that which is special about us as an individual or as a complex system of individuals.  LTZ then shows us that our distinctiveness or human-ness, and the knowing of such, is just the start of a personal life process.  In knowing what makes us different and from this, or in parallel with this, and as whole individuals, we can then begin to know most consciously and with intention what makes us whole.

            On the simple side, LTZ’s are about Consciousness.  Our most basic awareness that one’s Life Purpose comes from the action of creating one’s SELF.  With the help of LTZ, our actionable awareness matures and Our Purpose unfolds best in a particular Place and Time, with Particular People doing a Particular montage of things, acting as an individual or as a group/whole.  As a key can only open a door if its specific and distinctive groves match that of the lock, so we can only open doors best together if we match up specifically with others.  It is in the matching, the complimenting, that we are bigger than we are alone where we discover real Synergy for the first time.  Through LTZ we see that Wholeness within ourselves happens on one vortex.  Wholeness with the world happens within another connected vortex. These two have to merge.  They are born and evolve in parallel yet have to merge. So, Whole Wholeness or True Purpose is appreciated and seen through LTZ as the enfolding of Wholeness within and without, the World and Us. Our Place and Time and Significance with others playing life out, lights out, in a complex tapestry of Synergistic Jazz ensembles from 2 to a 10 billion!  It is in the complimenting that we are Whole and that we Know Synergy.

             In personal distinction-driven, gift-driven and Significance-driven teamwork true synergy happens.  Our purpose as one or as one world is only accomplished when we live true synergy.  And it never stops evolving.  It always evolves.  With the birth of each child a fresh tapestry appears and the ever-changing montage of human distinctions will remain a mystery waiting to be discovered.   Something never seen before has arrived. This is why LTZ operate as interpretive characters representing our human processes. 

            It is through interpretation with a backbone, with a process skeleton, we allow ourselves to individually discover OurSelf.  Any human assessment diagnostic must be interpretive and evolving by design to give a person, or system thereof, the ability to see OurSelf(s) most clearly, fully, colorfully and potently whole as One.

Well today starts a new season in my life. I’m blogging! I started once, but that was it. It ended quickly.
But this time, it’s different. It IS a new season in my life, and I want to share it. I have had a phenomenal year, and regret that until now, no one else has really benefited from my experiences. I am starting this blog so that I may impact others who may be somewhere along the road of life behind me. Perhaps you have found yourself on a similar path. I hope to spare you a bit of pain and anguish.
Too many of us live such disconnected lives. Why re-invent the wheel. Let’s learn from each other. Isn’t that what blogging is all about anyway?
So Welcome! Check back tomorrow for an inspirational post! Warning: this isn’t the normal “inspirational blog”. Prepare to be challenged. My life has been rough. I need real answers and a pat on the back and an “Amen, Sister” isn’t enough in the real world. We will explore the deeper things of the spiritual world.
In the meantime – be blessed!

I am going back to work.  Our local community college has a very active hometown health unit that, in addition to many other things, administers an Americorps Vista Volunteer program.  They provide  employees to various businesses and organizations in the community that contribute to the physical, mental and emotional health of the community.  When I was director of the local Arts Council we had a Vista Volunteer assigned to us and I believe they still do.

The director of this program for the college was on our board of directors and we are very well acquainted.  I stopped by a month or two ago and asked him what programs needed a Vista Volunteer that I might be qualified for and in which I might be interested.  As I told him, I am busy and happily occupied in the summer but I have been pretty bored in the winter since I have retired.  I thought I might find something I could get passionate about again.  Once more, timing is everything.

When I was on our local city council for six years about 15 or so years ago, we tried to promote a bond issue to fund a trail system connecting the various parks and athletic fields.  It was designed to run along the creek and dry runs that weave throughout our town and accomodate runners and cyclists.  The bond issue didn’t pass and the plan was forgotten.  Now, it seems, it has been resurrected by a citizens committee.

The plan has moved to the point of grant writing, gathering easements and developing specific designs for the trails and bridges crossing the runs at various points.  The city public works director and the director of the sports complexes as well as the director of the Advertising and Tourism Commission are the prime movers of the project.  I worked with each of them before on other projects and find them competent and enjoyable to work with.

This program only pays $950.00 per month and is supposed to be more about giving back than making money.  It does provide health insurance and a year end bonus.  I have committed for one year but can extend the job up to three years if it takes that long.   I leave for Albuquerque, N.M. in two weeks for training and then begin work September 1st.  I am excited to be once again involved in the betterment of our community.

Visiting the graves of loved ones on All Souls Day is one of my family’s long-standing traditions. As one might expect, the trip is usually a somber and uninteresting one. Last year’s visit, however, was rather memorable. During my visit, I happened to cross path with a middle-aged couple who left me with quite an impression. There was nothing peculiar about the couple except for the fact that they were carrying what appeared to me, at the time, as plastic flowers.

I know I should not have done this, but the first thing that crossed my mind was how stingy the couple was. Real flowers can be downright expensive, but it just did not seem right to offer fake flowers to the dead. Well, it turned out that I was wrong. The couple’s flowers were actually real flowers. But before you start criticizing me for my rush to judgment, you should know that the flowers look and feel exactly like plastic flowers. It is astonishing how one can touch the flower and its petals and can still decisively believe that it is plastic flower. The only thing that distinguishes this strange flower from the plastic ones is the horrible smell; the flower smells like dead body, literally.

The name of flower is Immotet or the Immortal Flower. Staying true to its name, the Immotet is known to last a very long time even in cut form. According to legends, the flower can last an eternity if is properly cared for. I actually attempted to validate the legend with the Immotets I bought. Unfortunately, the flowers mysteriously ended up in the trash container less than a week later. This must be the work of somebody in my household who probably was not a fan of the horrible smell.

The experience offers a good life lesson. I bet that it is the wish of many of you to be much like plastic flowers, living a long and worry-free life. But consider what you would have to give up to live such a dull and uninteresting life. I would rather be a glorious phyllocactus that lasts for just one night than a plastic flower that lasts for almost an infinity.

[Simon N.]

~~~

I have always liked being around kids.  By kids I mean anyone under 21.  I especially enjoy ages 3 to 10 and 13 to 17.  You will notice that I left out the pre-adolescent years.  Whether male or female, those years are no fun to be around or to live through most of the time.

The crew with which I shared this past week camping consisted of 2 boys ages 14 and 16 and 3 girls ages 14 and 15.  One of the best things that can ever happen to someone rapidly approaching 70 is to have teenagers think you’re cool.  During the week I had a 14 year old boy tell me he was going to call me “Benjamin Button” because I acted so much younger than my chronological age.  I had a 15 year old girl tell me that I was the coolest guy she knows.  I had a 35 year old female advisor tell me that I was the “funest” man she has ever known.  I had a crew of five 18 to 19 year old boys who shared the ROPES courses with us tell me that I could hang with them any time.  I had two 17 year old boys that I went Tubing with tell me I was amazing for a man my age.  My ego is well massaged after last week.

I was never the coolest guy in school.  I didn’t fit in any group.  I wasn’t a jock or a brain or a nerd or a hood or Mr. popularity.  I had friends in all those groups but could not really be identified with any of them.  I never really thought about being a part of a group.  I felt outside of all the groups and that never bothered me.  I have read many books and articles about the trauma of not “fitting in”.  It never occured to me that I was supposed to “fit in”.  I made friends without regard for who their other friends were.  I never really thought of other students as belonging to a group.  I never thought about whether I was popular or not.

I didn’t date until my Junior year in high school because I had no idea how to act around girls.  I was completely intimidated by them.  I never thought that I was good looking or appealing to girls because I was little and slow to mature.  I will never forget my feelings of inadequacy when I went into the eighth grade at a new school and went out for football.  When we showered, I was one of the very few who had little or no pubic hair.  I was still three years from needing to shave.  I felt like a kid and, therefore, acted like a kid.  I was always cutting up.  Because of all of this I never thought that girls liked me romantically but only to kid around and laugh with.

In our high school the senior superlatives were elected by the class and no one was allowed to win but one.  I was absolutely shocked when I was elected “Most Fun”  I didn’t even think that many people in school knew who I was, much less that they thought that I was “fun”.  This helped me enter college with a little more confidence in the dating game.  I figured I could get dates by being fun.  It worked to some degree.

At my 40th high school reunion I was talking to a girl who had been on the school newspaper staff our senior year.  We were talking about who had won which superlatives.  She told me that I had actually won “Most Fun” and “Best Looking” but since we were only allowed one, they gave me the one with the most votes and the other to the runner up.  I was stunned.  I never felt “good looking”.

I am glad that I didn’t know about that until I was married and had raised a family.  Many people always thought I was cocky because I went my own way and didn’t care much what other people thought.  If I had thought that I was considered “good looking” to the opposite sex, I may very well have become insufferable.  I have always enjoyed being “Most Fun”.

Hmmm.. hidup. Membicarakan tentang hidup tidak akan ada pernah habisnya. Betapa kompleksnya arti hidup itu. Saya pribadi masih terus mengejar ‘arti hidup’ yang tengah saya jalani. Dan pelajaran itu terus terhampar di depan mata saya, lewat berbagai peristiwa, kejadian dan situasi. Semoga episode ini dapat sedikit memberi gambaran tentang pelajaran berharga itu! Hope u like it!

The Roller Coaster

In choosing this ride, you will experience some of life’s greatest highs. The anticipation of things to come is half the thrill. Towering over crests can be exhilarating. However, the steeper dips can be unsettling. This is a ride of emotion. Those on board run on feelings triggered by events. When things are good, they are upbeat and happy. When things are bad, they are down and depressed. They coast on the adrenaline that runs through them and jump back into experiences that give them this rush again and again. We are drawn to this ride as our lives often feel like a series of highs and lows. Be present in the moment as you go through the events of your life, but don’t let your emotions control you. Hold on to your seat, and remember, you can always get off and catch your breath.

Our seismograph crew consisted of 12 men.  The two man survey team worked a few miles ahead of the rest of us.  They would lay out the straight 1/4 mile stretches and plant flags to show us the path and where to drill the blast holes.  Behind them came the two man drilling rig.  They would drill the three blast holes.  Behind them came the Instrumentation van.  This looked like an old Air Stream mobile home on tracks.  We called this vehicle the “doghouse”.  There were two engineers inside who drove it from blast hole to blast hole, printed out the graphs, tied them together in a continuum and interpreted the results.  The blaster who handled the dynamite also rode inside the doghouse.  Riding on top were the three jug hustlers.  We also had a cook and a pilot on the crew. 

Before I left the crew I got to work at all of these positions except pilot, cook and engineer.  I spent some time clearing brush and timber for the survey team when the straight stretch went through heavy vegitation.  I worked some as the driller’s assistant when his regular assistant went into Anchorage.  I got to set the dynamite a few times just because I wanted to and the blaster showed me how.  Mostly, however, I carried the 75 pound reel on my back and played out the cable.

Our camp was set up about halfway along the line that we planned to run and we rode to the line in the four passenger helicopter.  The pilot’s main job was to try to scare the newcomers as much as possible by flying low and weaving between the trees or flying just above the back of a moose to make it run.  Pilots had a lot of down time and got bored easily.

By the end of our second week we had moved inland far enough that we were out of the tundra and operating on dry land.  One day around noon the ground got wet and the water got deeper the further we went.  Since the doghouse was a tracked vehicle it plowed right through the water and we ascertained the water to be about three feet deep at its deepest.  This, I was told, was a beaver stream.  The little buggers had dammed up a small streamlet and the water backed up creating this pool about a hundred yards across.  Since we still had our hip waders this would not be a problem except for the beaver stream.  Somewhere under the water there was the stream bed from which the water had backed up.  The trouble was that there was no way to tell where it was, how wide it was or how deep it was.  Someone walking through the water with a 75 pound reel on his back could step into the chasm, his waders would fill with water and he would not likely get out.  This sounded so challenging that I immediately volunteered.

The entire crew gathered to watch as I set out and, although we were not yet freely communicating,  I think they were actually worried for me.  I moved forward very slowly, reaching my foot forward as far as I could and feeling the ground with my toe before putting any weight on it.  About halfway across my forward foot could not feel any ground beneath it.  I had reached the stream.  I shouted back to the crew and told them the situation.  No one had any advice.

This was a glacier stream.  I remembered how cold the Chuit River was.  I opted for freezing versus drowning.  I took off my waders.  I unreeled a length of cable and held it in my teeth.  I took  the cable reel off my back and threw it as far forward as possible.  I then dove forward hoping my foot would strike solid ground.  It did.  I took the cable from my teeth and followed it to the reel.  I finished reeling out the cable and arrived on dry ground.  While I was in the middle of this task the boss had called for the helicopter and I was flown straight back to camp.  I told the pilot to wait while I changed into dry clothes and had him fly me back out to the line.  That was what assured my acceptance by the rest of the crew.

When the crew saw me get out of the helicopter and go back to pick up the reel for the next stretch they all stopped what they were doing and came over to me.  They couldn’t believe that I came back out to the line when I had earned the right to stay in the camp for the rest of the day.  The chief driller was called Smoky because he wore a Smoky Bear hat and was as big as a bear.  He  had shown his resentment toward me more than anyone.  He held out his hand and said, “I was wrong.  You’re not just a rich spoiled friend of the bosses son.  You know how to work”.  I became the “go to guy” for difficult terrain.  I rapelled down a cliff with the reel on my back.  I walked it across a stream on a fallen log.  I was having a ball.

Then it was time for a four day break in Anchorage.

Accident – Anything that occurs unexpectedly or unintentionally.  These things happen to everyone throughout their lives and, when we recognize them, we give them different labels or names.  It is called serendipity, synchronicity, karma, joss, the holy spirit, kismet, etc., etc., etc.  Every language, every religion and every philosophy has a word for and definition of this occurence.  I am currently waiting for another of these to guide me.  They have guided me throughout my life.   I have been blessed with many which have been quite significant.  To wit:

Why I didn’t become an engineer

 How I met my wife and what kept us in contact

How I became a Marine

Why I left the Corps

How I ended up in Arkansas

Why I bought a racquet club

How I began acting

Why I got my religion back

There are many more but these seem most significant to who I am today.  I’ll share a few of these in the next few days.

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.

His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally! the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.

He said, “You have done well my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.

It won’t matter how many times you say “I’m sorry”, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.”

P/S: One of the article i post about “FRENZ” can find here –> Read these beautiful lines…

credit : email by kak shila mambo (JP)