Thought this was a little offensive but kind of cute too.

What the guy who entrusted his melon to its protection didn’t seem to realize though is what my good friend Johnny told me years ago, “There are no ugly women, Frannie; just a few lazy ones.”

I’m more inclined to go with what my mama & grandmama taught me: “Pretty is… as pretty does.”

Judge me by the content & character of my heart (to lift a little from Dr. King)…

I wrote a while back about my dilemma at work; being neck-deep in a gossipy clique that I no longer wanted to participate in.  So it’s been about three weeks since implementing techniques to gently pry myself out of this mess of my own making and I’m pleased to say that’s it’s gone well so far.  Better than I expected, actually. 

Not only did I manage to gracefully bow out of the gossip sessions, but my decision seems to have had an effect on my coworkers too.  Initially there was some fussing when I pleaded too busy to join them everyday at lunch for daily bitch sessions.  “Are you mad at us?  Don’t you like us anymore?”  That sort of thing.  I just kept reassuring my coworkers that things were fine between us, I just felt like I was putting myself in a bad headspace with all of the ranting.  I voiced my concern that constantly being angry about things we can’t change isn’t good for any of us, pointing out that the two of them suffer from high blood pressure as it is.  I’m still chatting with them, but now make a point to focus on other things and they’re respecting the new boundaries I’ve drawn.  I’m not sure if they’ve actually taken what I’ve said to heart or are just continuing their gossip sessions outside of my hearing.  Heck, for all I know they’re spending lunch gossiping about ME now, ha! 

There are still a couple of issues in the office that are personal bugbears of mine and it’s a daily struggle to keep my focus on other things.  I don’t always win that struggle, but every day there is effort and mindfulness.  There’s no point in fuming over things you can’t change or blowing small annoyances out of proportion.

It wasn’t until some years later that I was diagnosed with asthma and an abysmally low lung capacity; this went a long way towards explaining my inability to keep up in sports.  I made some headway in college when I would take solitary jogs out on the track and slowly improved from being able to finish a measley 1/4 mile to 1.5 miles with some patience and the assistance of an inhaler.  I jog here and there on my home treadmill, but never really pushing myself.

Anyway, last year I surprised myself after talking with a couple of people who love to run.  Like, marathons and such.  They looked so happy when they talked about it and encouraged me to try a 5K at some point.  “Do it for charity and it will make you feel good no matter what happens.”  My ten-year-old self was stomping her feet and shrilly reminding me of my humilitating endeavors in elementary school.  I thought about it for a good while, then reassured my inner child that it would be OK and we can’t get stuck on that forever.  It’s time to put my fears aside and add “Running a 5K” to my bucket list.   So I did.

I signed up for a charity race at the end of September benefiting a local women’s crisis shelter that does a lot of good stuff in our community.  My only goal is to run the whole race without stopping!  If I decide to do other races (yikes, look at me already thinking about other races!), then I’ll consider time.  But this race is just to prove to myself that running can be for me and I can do this! 

I started training two weeks ago and began with a gentle pace and stopped at 1 mile because it had been so long since I last jogged, although I felt like I could have gone farther.  I’m paranoid about injuring myself in my zeal so I’m slowly working up to 3.1 miles.  Currently, I’m able to run 2 miles in 30 minutes.  Seven more weeks to go!

I’m ashamed to admit this, but after three years of diligently avoiding the bulk of the drama going on at my office, I have fallen in with some gossips (see my previous post for an example of this).  It all started out pleasantly enough with friendly chit chat, but when things took a nosedive I went with it hook, line, and sinker…and now that I can see it clearly for what it is, I want out.  What tangled webs we weave in moments of carelessness, eh?

I found an article that describes some of these people very well and helped me understand why I got sucked into this so fast and so deep.  And I recognize my ability to be that negative humorist too when I let my sarcastic sense of humor go too far. 

“Negative people tend to come in two flavors: cynics and humorists. Cynics are not fun. They don’t like much of anything. They’re the kind of people who complain about having to pay taxes after winning the lottery. Humorists, on the other hand, can be seductive. They’re clever and amusing. They go around with a smirk on their face, using humor to point out everything that’s wrong. At first, they can be fun to be around. It’s like the two of you have an inside joke on the world. In the long run though, their negativity will wear you out.”

Oh yes, very seductive.  For somebody like me who is shy and doesn’t make friends easily, it was nice to have a buddy at work after keeping my distance and playing neutral Switzerland in the tiny world of our office politics for so long.  I’ve definitely reached the “worn out” stage though.  I’m tired of the constant backbiting and complaining.  I’m tired of getting angry over stupid little things, venting about it nastily, and then feeling guilty for doing so.  I keep wondering, when did I get to be so mean?  Geez.  I’ve made some attempts to stop, but they haven’t had enough willpower behind them.  Attempts to steer conversations to other topics are always derailed.  Any mention of positive things happening in my life or asking my coworkers about good stuff going on with them is met with cynicism and more complaints.  Well, I’m done with the mean girl clique.  I’m getting off the gossip train and focusing on surrounding myself with more positive, encouraging people. 

Lately I’ve been waffling about the nearby Unitarian Universalist church that I’ve been visiting.  I haven’t gone for a month actually because I’ve had a bad case of cold feet as I’ve started to really think about the possibility of making a formal commitment to this new community- that’s for another post though.  The point is, realizing that I’m neck-deep in chronically dissatisfied people has encouraged me to start attending services again because the church encourages its congregation to live their lives with compassion, mindfulness, curiosity, and passion- and the church tends to attract people who want more out of life than lunchtime gossip and reality TV shows.  Being in the presence of other people who are striving to make their lives meaningful and happy is such a salve to all of the ennui and cynicism going on in other areas of my life. 

So.  What’s the plan?  Well, I’ve been working on this for a few days.  I don’t want to be confrontational about it because that will lead to making myself a target for the cattiness, although this may be unavoidable depending on the reaction I get.  I want to maintain pleasant, civil interactions with the entire office.  I’m going to bring sewing projects to work on during lunch so I can beg off as busy when I’m invited to gossip.  I’m going to pass on invites to go out to eat with the excuse that I’m running my first 5K in a few weeks and am trying to watch my junk food intake.  (Totally true too!  More on this later…)  I’m going to resume my weekly church attendance to surround myself with inspiring people and positive influences.  I’ve set a date to see a dear friend soon; she is the most energetic, positive, driven person I know and she’s a beacon of support in my life (as I always try to be for her too!).  It’s a good start, I think.

Last night I sat here in a work-induced stupor watching old Guess Who videos on YouTube.  Everyone needs a Burton Cummings fix every once in a while. This one suited my mood – staring at a record spinning.  Wow.

My advice to you is to go there and type his name into search and that should effectively write off a large part of your day.

I needed to go to my ‘calm’ place, as opposed to the place where a control freak ego maniac (who also happens to be stupid and forgetful with a bit of meanness and spite thrown in to foster insanity) rules a few odd hours of my life.  Ever notice how the people who make up all the dumb rules also make themselves the exceptions to them?  Funny how that works.  And how impossible it is for me to change anything except the way I react to it all.  Or refuse to react.  Stupors will either save or kill me.

Normally I bite my tongue (or tape up my typing fingers) to avoid complaining about work here.  Sorry that slipped out, but exploding was the other alternative. And hopefully everyone has been so mesmerized by Burton that they’ve not read this far anyway.

And I think I’m over it.  Life’s too short.

In this clip, Liam Neeson stops by Ricky Gervais and Co. to pitch some ideas and do some improv. What ensues is pretty hilarious and reveals that Liam Neeson is a pretty awesome guy. I would happily make time to do improv with this guy any day.

I am back home in Sydney and very excited because my episodes of Life’s Too Short begin this week

If you haven’t seen enough of me on Aussie telly, come and see Variant, it is a contemporary dance piece. Yes, that’s right I am also a dancer.  It is on at the Seymour, in Sydney.

Promo video for Variant

Click the link below to book and more info:

http://sydney.edu.au/seymour/boxoffice/program.variant.shtml

We sang this song in High School choir. Though I remember it being substantially more discordant, I fell in love with the song and Robert Frost. Sadly, I also found, in searching for the song, that I don’t remember most of the poem. All these years I thought the only words were….

Thanks to HBO, this show and Ricky Gervais’ Animated Podcast were brought to my

Let the awkwardness ensue.

attention at the same time. I love both of them and this show was just quicker to finish (other review coming shortly). Life’s Too Short follows Warwick Davis, the person and the character, around for 7 episodes seeing just what kind of mischief he gets into in his typical life. But this isn’t your average Warwick Davis, the lovable Wicket Ewok we see when he was 11 in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. This is something more horrendous.

Now that’s a great pic.

Warwick in this show is a selfish, deceitful, and overall poor sport actor down on his luck. He feels his fame should be giving him more than it is right now and he won’t let anyone get in his way. He has small man syndrome (and appropriately so) and is always offended by midget. I have a fear of midgets usually (saw Chucky too early and connected the two) but when it’s Warwick Davis, you have to love him.

I mean, look at his career. There’s Star Wars, The BBC specials of C.S. Lewis’s Narnia series, and the amazing Leprechaun series (I love it and always will. Too funny and classic.) The 10th Kingdom, my favorite, and the Harry Potter series as Flitwick, the Charms Professor. He has a better and more lucrative career than a lot of little people, and people love him for that. I haven’t seen Willow yet (a running joke in the

The creators shunning the little guy. Classic.

show) but I damn well plan on watching it now.

This show highlights everything that Gervais and Merchant wanted to do in The Office. After meeting Warwick in Gervais’ Extras, they started talking about this project. With my hopes up for more than a Christmas Special (come on Season 2…) I really enjoyed this awkward social situational comedy from the masters.

Rosamund Hanson. She’s got nothin goin on… upstairs.

Every episode hits you harder than the last, with some great star appearances thrown in. I must say, I don’t like Johnny Depp, but in this show he really knows how to make fun of himself. Liam Neeson was hilarious (although unintentionally), and Sting was just a dick. I loved Warwick’s dimwitted assistant, Cheryl (Rosamund Hanson) and everything she said and how she said it was pure comic gold. I know it’s wrong to think that when Warwick falls over during the show is the funniest part, but it’s one of those old gags you never get tired of seeing. Warwick himself was funny, but he knows how funny it is for a little person to struggle in normal everyday things.

Critics said this show was too awkward and similar to The Office that Gervais and Merchant were just getting lazy. Sure they were lazy. But they were lazy with a formula that was going to work from the

The toilet troll emerges!

beginning no matter what. I sincerely relish awkward moments in TV and movies (especially real life) and seeing a show that focuses on it to the point of painful, that’s spot on comedy. The drier and darker the better. Although I did at some points want Warwick to win some of the moments in life, it just wasn’t in the cards. Oh well, you win some, you lose most.

So with an awkward show like this and a dwarf who can poke fun at themselves, it’s fun to watch a car wreck comedy. Don’t wanna look, but can’t stop. Oh, and here’s the real Warwick for ya, just so you know where he’s coming from. Enjoy just like I enjoyed Series 1. 8.6 out of 10.

i dont think my working out has been working out [geddit?] and im hardly eating.!! well its not working progressively enough, im starting to get jealous of other people bodies again. i dont want my family to make snide comments about me gaining weight. im just so unhappy about my body at the moment.and no, im not overly fat but ive put on 5lb according to my wii fit. im also now officially overweight in regards to my bmi…. sigh!! this is all self inflicted. so im going to use my wii fit to get the ball rolling.

my driving test is coming up soon and i dont think im ready

my friends are m.i.a.. its annoying because i dont understand why i have to chase them down everytime to have  a conversation.

and i feel lonely because im single.

my bed at my house is broken. im so sick of this house that iim looking for new ones. i know i cant afford it. i know i cant but hey. a girl can dream. ive ordered a new bed which i may or may not cancel. since argos is shit and takes 3 weeks to want to deliver it. fuck you argos. 

today after work. i re arranged my room. it was just pissing me off hardcore. now it looks a little more refined. i had a nap a woke up now and im feeling positive. im not quite sure why..[thank god]

but im going to think positively from now on. whats the harm in that.?? i WILL lose weight. even if it takes me all month. thats what its about right? working for it. i think im up to the challenge, and it will serves me right !! when im actually thin again ill think twice about gorging on takeouts like i wont gain a pound. “moment on the lips everyone… moment on the lips”

im working 5 days a week now so i THINK ill be ok with money.

my driving lessons/test are expensive… my instructor has told me to take ‘kalms‘ so i dont get nervous for the test. i THINK it works. or maybe its just a placebo .. either way.. positive thinking. i WILL pass 1st time.[ in jesus' name]. and if i dont. so be it. ill brush myself off and keep it moving. everything happens for a reason. its not the end of the world. the end of my wallet??.. maybe… world??.. never!!. i keep looking at cars and shit but i really need to focus on passing first. then i can get it cracking!!

as for me being single and lonely.. i need to sort my own shit out first. how can i be looking to bring another person into my situation when i dont even have my situation under control.?!?!?!

‘positive thinking’

end.

Also one more serious news, recently, before her sisters wedding my step cousin (I see as her blood) had a heart failure and collapsed and stopped breathing, luckily my step mum performed CPR and she is doing very well even though she was in intensive care and the doctors said there was only a 50% chance she’d talk again, after just over a month she’s now walking talking and is making a miraculous recovery, though she does struggle with short term memory but this will come with time

Unfortunately, shortly after this my Auntie suffered from a minor stroke, she was lucky as it wasn’t severe as it could have been but she finds it difficult to walk and her right side was very close to being completely paralysed, but we as a family are trying to support her as much as we can and I think she’s grateful for that.

But what strikes me with these two incidences is how I’ve never seen people such as them at their weakest, I’ve only really ever seen them happy, laughing and it hurts so much to see them like this, I mean what am I to do when my Auntie breaks down so scared that she won’t be able to be the same again or upset she’s being a nuisance? Or when my cousin is attached to tons of wires and struggles just to get a card out of an envelope? But these events have been a huge, and I mean HUGE eye opener, to me. Anything can happen to anyone, at any time, but we have to be thankful for what we have.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that life really IS too short. So here’s some advice I might offer anyone reading: When there’s an event that makes you feel like you could never be of use to anyone again I want you to remember that you are worth something to someone somewhere and if you don’t then I’m here… With ears listening and a shoulder to cry on. Or say you get over an obstacle in your life and you feel as if your too weak to carry on, then think… It happened to you because YOU had the strength to do it, which means YOU have the strength to carry on. Be grateful it didn’t happen to someone to weak to get through it. Obviously were all going to feel like there’s nothing left for us to live for at one point or another but real courage is showing everyone that you have enough power to carry on.

Signing off in an inspiring mood x

…for this “Variety” article.

And since I have your attention:

I make lists all the time,

-Shady

I suppose this shouldn’t surprise me, as this past year was the first time he ever did any project that lasted beyond two seasons and a Christmas special.  As for the Ricky Gervais Show, which takes bits from his popular podcast with Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington, he claims he has gone through the best stuff from the original podcasts for the show, so it’s really about running out of material.

But I think it’s mostly about a fear of commitment.  He wants to have these perfect little runs with everything he does, so he backs out just as they’re sort of hitting their stride.  Going out on a high note I guess.  And I think some US shows could maybe take a page from his book (Veronica Mars, I’m looking at you), but it also is a bit annoying to constantly get attached to a project he’s doing and then it’s over two minutes later.

Ricky said he will do two specials to end An Idiot Abroad.  I’m not 100% clear on whether these specials are the same as the ‘Short Way Round’ project he is working on, where Karl and Warwick Davis travel about on a scooter. I suspect they are one in the same, because how long can you film those two on a scooter? First of all, it’s a scooter, so they’re not going to be traveling the world at a very high rate of speed.  It’s meant to be a spoof on the popular British shows Long way Round and Long Way Down, which featured Ewan MacGregor and his friend Charley Boorman on motorcycles doing epic trips around the globe.  But they could go a proper 80 miles per hour on good roads.  How’s a Vespa going to fair in the Sahara?  We’ll have to wait and see. Even if they’re epic trek is from London to the Cotswolds, I’ll be tuning in.

As for Life’s Too Short, they have confirmed a second season and Ricky said he has written a finale, so it will follow the two seasons and a Christmas Easter special pattern. To be expected, really.

Ricky did mention a lot of new projects he’s working on.  The main one is a show called Derek, which he shot a pilot for Channel 4 in the UK earlier this year, and he will be producing a few more episodes later in the year.  He has said he wants a US airing, and I’m sure it’s in negotiations.  My guess would be with HBO, as aired his comedy specials, Ricky Gervais Show, and Life’s Too Short. Plus, you can swear.

My only concern with this show is that it doesn’t seem as accessible to an American audience as the others he’s made.

The show features Ricky as Derek, a potentially intellectually sub-normal retirement home worker, and also has Karl in his acting debut as the janitor/handyman type at the retirement home.

There was a lot of controversy when it first came out because people have accused Ricky of playing up a mental disability for laughs, but Ricky says that Derek is not disabled, only a bit slow.  I think a lot of the criticism has died down since the pilot aired.

My concerns with an American audience are that:

a-it seems very entrenched in an aspect of British society that doesn’t usually make it to this side of the pond.  The lives of the uneducated, the decidedly not-posh, the poor.  The type of people you see in the supermarket or something and you know they are either not trying to live an active life, or they are unaware of the impression they’re putting out. Usually, the shows that make it to the US feature at least educated professionals, if not the out and out wealthy.

b-We are a lot more sensitive to p.c.-ness on this side of the pond.  I remember being absolutely shocked at the blatant sexual harassment in the Office, and I know that’s not something that would fly on an American show.  Ricky himself has said that for the US Office all the characters had to be much more likeable than they were in the original show.  So I think the controversy over Derek in the UK will be more of a big deal here.

Even if he is not purposefully portraying a disabled man, he is obviously portraying a man of sub-par intelligence, and he is walking a very thin line between making that character loveable and heartwarming, and playing up his stupidity for a laugh.  Ricky likes to toe that line in all of his work.  But I think there’s a big difference with this. In Life’s Too Short, you would find yourself laughing at Warwick Davis’ character.  You wouldn’t be laughing at him for being a little person, but for being a smart person doing incredibly stupid things.  In Derek, you have someone of normal intelligence playing someone of below average intelligence, and you are meant to laugh at him for being a bumbling moron. There’s a big difference in that, for me. You’re meant to care about him, and like him, but also laugh at him.  I think that we Americans find that much harder than the Brits.  Maybe that’s just me?

But I have watched the pilot, which is up on YouTube.  I’m not sure the legality of that, but I’ll risk incarceration to give you my opinion.

I really love the Hannah character, who is sort of a female Tim (Martin Freeman from the Office UK)–the everyman of the show that we can relate to and we genuinely root for.

Karl Pilkington’s ‘character’ seems to me to be just him being himself, with a bit of fake hair and some glasses.  He complains a lot, likes to fix things, doesn’t know why he’s friends with Ricky.  Check, check, check.

I did find it very difficult to laugh at Derek, because he is obviously a bit odd and not very clever.  What shocked me the most, I think, is that I cried. I cried more than I laughed, which is certainly a departure from a lot of stuff like An Idiot Abroad.

I think the bottom line is that I trust Ricky as an auteur, as a story-teller.  I don’t think that Derek will be a huge hit here, but I do hope it airs on HBO or similar. I will definitely watch it, but I’m sad that all of his other projects are ending, all in the next year. And I’m going to miss Stephen Merchant being on my TV!

Time to moveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee on……………….

He said: ”So I don’t think I’m going to do a fourth series of The Ricky Gervais Show. 39 episodes is more than I’ve ever done for any other project (Yes. I know that’s pathetic but trust me.) and I don’t want to push my luck.

“I think the show has steadily grown in both quality and popularity and I’d love to go out on a high so to speak. My worry is that as we’ve used up all the best material [from the original podcasts, so] we’d have to record hours and hours of new stuff and it might ruin the naivety of the whole thing. Never say never though.”

Ricket Gervais and Karl Pilkington in ‘Derek’

Gervais confirmed that Karl Pilkington and he have agreed to end An Idiot Abroad after the two specials they are currently filming. Life’s Too Short, the sitcom written with Stephen Merchant, will conclude with one last episode. Gervais will now concentrate on Channel 4 series Derek.

weheartit.com

“Sounds like someone’s got a case of the Mondays…”

“Only three more days ’till the weekend.”

Sound familiar?  I hear comments like this almost everyday.  Facebook is loaded with so many “countdown” posts that I’ve recently starting blocking people who do it.  So many people live for Friday at 5:00pm.  But what if you knew last Friday was your last?

Tuesday’s looking a whole lot better, isn’t it? 

What would you fill your day with?  Perhaps a glass of wine on the deck with your spouse or a phone call to your parents.  Maybe you’d bungee jump or hop on a plane to Disney World. 

So, why do we wait for Friday?  What is stopping you from living your “weekend life” everyday?  Is it work? 

Okay, well work takes up eight hours of your day with an extra two for commuting, eight hours for sleep (if you’re lucky) and one for exercise.  That leaves with you with FIVE hours a day to live today like it’s Friday.  Make a date to visit a friend, go knock on a neighbor’s door, read this month’s recommended reading or just sit and smile at your kids.

And if you wake up Monday morning and can’t stand the thought of going to work then you better get a new job.  Life is too short to muddle through five days just so that you may enjoy two.

Reasons Why I Quit Facebook

1. It’s a drama mill.  Life tends to generate enough of its own drama naturally, I don’t need to enhance it with Facebook.  I wasted too much time getting offended by crap others posted and being attacked for posting things that I thought would be completely innocuous.  People who thrive on the FB drama will always find something to get their panties in a bunch about.

2. There’s so much posturing.  Sometimes I felt like my friends and family in real life were living in a parallel dimension from their FB personas.  People posted things that I couldn’t imagine them saying in person.  Life tended to always be either totally awesome!!!!!! or a complete drag when I knew that wasn’t the case.  I hardly ever posted because I felt like I needed to say something exciting/intelligent/witty/funny/whathaveyou.  Otherwise I could go overboard and become one of those people who posts about the minutae of their daily life, ack. 

3. The oversharing was horrifying.  I don’t need to know about diaper blowouts, what color mucus you’re coughing up, or how drunk you got last weekend- complete with embarrassing photos.  My god.  It’s like common sense goes right out the window! 

4. It encourages shallow connections and voyeurism.  Why is this old high school classmate who was too cool to ever speak to me asking to be my Facebook friend?  Oh right, because they’re nosy and want to compare their life to mine ten years later.  *eyeroll*  I signed up for Facebook with the intent to keep in touch with family and friends, but ended up with a friends list full of people I hardly knew and didn’t much care to follow.

5.  It’s addicting.  As much as it drove me crazy, I couldn’t stop visiting.  It was like a trainwreck and I had to watch.  Plus, a lot of conversations with people revolved around what was happening on Facebook so I felt left out if I didn’t check it frequently.  I resented feeling like I needed to be constantly plugged in. 

It was a huge relief when I took the plunge and deleted my account.  No regrets!  For a while some people would make snarky comments about how I obviously didn’t know the latest gossip because I wasn’t on FB anymore.  As if I was to be pitied.  I had to fight to keep a straight face because from my perspective, I was free.

From my mind to yours, here are a few thoughts to contemplate.