A  single woman’s biggest worry would be choking to death alone in her apartment. Right Lemon?

Tina Fey; more attractive than Liz Lemon would be in real life.  Although sometimes I wonder if there’s really that much difference between the head writer of 30 rock and the former head writer of Saturday Night Live.

Tina Fey: Loved by her co-workers and friends.

Liz Lemon: Treated like crap by her co-workers and friends.

Tina Fey: Grounded and successful.

Liz Lemon: A neurotic, unhealthy mess.

So, ergo vis-à-vis concordantly:

Tina Fey: Hot.

Liz Lemon: Not.

This is such a lie, they’re both awesome.

“Sun Tea”

November 19th, 2009

This is “Green Week” on NBC, which means that every show has some sort of environmental sustainability storyline in it. And while the shows did similar episodes a few seasons ago (The Office did its “Survivorman” parody and 30 Rock did the great “Greenzo”), it’s a well that has quite a bit of content in it, depending on how the shows wants to go about it.

While The Office (which I won’t be reviewing tonight, although I’ll probably throw some thoughts onto the end of the page) simply used it as a theme for the cold open (as it did with Halloween), 30 Rock takes a more continuous and as a result scattered approach. Giving Kenneth the task of “greening” 30 Rock felt forced, and while the episode wanted to try to make it seem subversive and clever the show has done too many similar things before.

However, continuing last week’s improvement on the season as a whole, this week had a cohesive point of view if we ignore the environmental side of things, presenting two stories that allowed for both some brilliant absurdity and actions which are driven by character rather than plot. And, just when you think that the environmental story is entirely worthless, the show spins off a few random parts of other scenes into the storyline and helps bring everything full circle in a sequence that actually is as clever as it wants it to be.

Plus, Teddy Ruxpin was a frakkin’ lawyer.

Yes, that was really the episode’s highlight: the idea that Kathy Geiss was being represented in a court of law by a talking Teddy Ruxpin doll who simply wants to be the media’s friend. It was the season’s most hilarious cutaway, the kind of scene that makes you pause and laugh, which is what 30 Rock needs when its plots aren’t working as well as they could. Ultimately here, Jack’s story was actually quite strong, as the public scandal facing Don Geiss forces him to consider avoiding having children in order to ensure he has no similar situations in his future. If Jack had been in the storyline alone, perhaps it would have been too simple, but pairing him with Tracy (who always wants a vasectomy so that he can tell dirty stories) is always, always a good idea. Morgan and Baldwin play off of each other amazingly well, and they had some great material here.

Baldwin was strong throughout, sure, but I definitely think Morgan was the star here. I got a huge kick out of the “I know what that means”/”Then why won’t you tell me?!” exchange between Tracy and Tracy Jr., and the “Well I hope he made me an Acrosshelmet too” line was a stroke of genius. I like these stories because they humanize characters that are both heartless and absurd at the same time, and while this was no “Rosemary’s Baby” I thought that both actors were having a lot of fun, and anything that involves Dr. Leo Spaceman (who didn’t get a huge one-liner [okay, "what about CHEERS lied to me" killed] but did get a number of marvelous line ridings for Chris Parnell) is going to be worth our time.

As for Liz’s central storyline, it was well-executed and I enjoyed Nate Corddry. It’s not what one would call the most well-developed storyline in the world, but I enjoyed how its simple structure kept escalating as Liz goes through all of her known strategies for getting people out of apartments, discovering along the way that this guy happens to be immune to all of them. I was particularly taken with Dot Com’s performance as an angry ex-boyfriend, primarily because of the continuity of his desire to be taken as a serious actor, and also because of his obscure Warren Moon reference. Yes, “Episode 210″ did “Liz Buys an Apartment” better, but the final resolution (“The Frank”) working and giving her a chance to create a two-level apartment (and tying in an earlier scene that seemed odd otherwise) finished a storyline that was on occasion very funny and throughout a fine comic showcase for Tina Fey’s ability to ham it up a little.

As for Kenneth’s green challenge, it was clever throughout which is all you can really ask. I’m more than tired of the show winking to the audience, like the “Green Peacock” moment, but I thought two things worked really well. The first were the two NBC Celebrity pamphlets: they were really simple jokes, but having Kenneth read them out really made them hit home, and I particularly found the FNL one (“My show is about football. There’s a football team called the Chargers. You should unplug your chargers”) funny for some reason. And, most importantly for the storyline, it ended with another appearance by Al Gore, which was certainly more instructive (to the point of feeling preachy) but then ended on a joke that was too cute by half, but so cute that it didn’t matter. The recycling (get it? GET IT?!) of the joke from “Greenzo” was a nice touch, and if they’re going to preach I’d rather they do it with a wink like that.

Not brilliance, but a couple of big laughs and some nice storyline balance – I’ll take it.

Cultural Observations

• As for The Office, the episode continued the trend of showing Jim becoming used to Michael’s role (and who didn’t want Ryan to be put in his place), and didn’t show us much new on the Dunder Mifflin side (except, as Jaime Weinman pointed out on Twitter, that the show is arguably offering a better analysis of NBC’s current leadership failure/corruption than 30 Rock’s more blatant digs at NBC are).
• I enjoy that Jenna notes that Liz’s plan is something that she would do if she were smarter. The episode had a number of nice details with Jenna, in fact: both her variation on Jack’s joke about Manhattan Real Estate and her observation that Liz’s plan sounds like something she would do if she were smart, plus the idea that she has an item more personal than an erotic device plugged into an extension cord.
• On a more serious and more random note, should Next to Normal end up running long enough for Alice Ripley to leave, there was a moment when Jenna was faking her suicidal tendencies where I realized that Krakowski dialed down could probably play certain parts of that role (if not up to Ripley’s standard, of course). Just an observations.
• Seriously, Teddy Ruxpin as a lawyer? Amazing.

I need a break from discussing politics, health care, right vs. left, Sarah Palin; I want some comfort entertainment. If I want heavy, I’ll watch one of those high-brow movies Marilyn forces me to watch; if I want serious, I’ll read a book (so there, Kaarin); if I want something spiritual, I’ll listen to music; but when I want to travel far down that low road – and I do sometimes – I have TV. Although there are some seriously good TV shows that I watch (from Public TV specials to well-written dramas and sharp comedies), there’s no better diversion for me than frothy, salacious, superficial television. Whether it’s “Snapped” an Oxygen series about women who kill their husbands (I’ve managed to stay alive this long thanks to what I’ve learned from this series), or “Rock of Love,” which has absolutely no redeeming qualities, I simply love bad TV. Sometimes bad TV turns out to have redemptive qualities like “Tool Academy,” “From G’s to Gents” or “Charm School,” and sometimes good TV turns to junk: cable news — but it is always entertaining. So here’s a diversion for me, what I’m loving on TV right now.

1) Sue Sylvester/”Glee”: Jane Lynch, who I’ve loved forever, especially with her work with Christopher Guest (“Best in Show”), has the role of a lifetime in “Glee.” The show itself has its ups and downs for me — I thought it was brilliant at the beginning of the season, but this mistaken-identity-baby-daddy arc is not fun to watch. (Although Quinn is.) What is fun to watch are the production numbers when they’re hip and joyous (not Broadway-y and predictable); the actors, all without exception; and, most of all, big meany Sue Sylvester, the bulldog cheerleading coach who does not have an “off” button. She is fed, arguably, the best lines on TV, and she is so savoring her role, it drips all over the screen. She is, not arguably, the best character on TV.

2) “Curb”/”Seinfeld” Reunion: Finally, the reunion! Not only was the penultimate show of the season the best of both series, it was a nice homecoming for those of us who loved “Seinfeld.” You might have forgotten how likable Jerry was (I did) and he’s terrific in these “Curb” episodes. The minute you see his puppy dog face, it’s like welcoming an old friend back. The back and forth between him and Larry David is extraordinary to watch, and the insight into a “Seinfeld” table read is perfect TV. Add to that the typically-”Curb” story line about little Emma and her rash (remind me to change my daughter’s name) and little gems like addressing Michael Richard’s past racial troubles, and you end up with one of the most satisfying 36 minutes of television this season.  Even if Susie Essman was not in the episode.

The real star of the "Table Reading" episode?

3) “Tabatha’s Salon”: OK, call me gay, whatever, but “Tabatha’s Salon Takeover” is one of the most enjoyable reality shows on TV (and I watch them all, and I mean all). Much of that has a lot to do with the abrasive, but understandably confident hair stylist Tabatha Coffey (who, herself, was a reality show winner on “Shear Genius”). With her defiantly short, chopped platinum hair, seductive English accent, take-charge ultra-hip black outfits and take-no-prisoners attitude, she visits failing salons and gives them a turnaround.

The format’s great, especially the undercover surveillance cameras, the heavy-hands-on observation of the hairdressers at work, the destroying of dreams and careers, and the filth she finds when she first examines the salon, often wiping up chunks of disgusting hair and other foul refuse (only once did she cry, “I want my Mommy.”). The final assessment to the owner is especially fun, because it often involves firing someone who has most likely called her a bitch during the course of the show. The hour flies by, and it has as much to do with running a small business (Take that, “Shark Tank”) as it does with hairdressing (Take that, inane “Shear Genius”).  And there’s so much drama. If you think I’m gay for watching this, you should see some of the hairdressers!  Tabatha’s one of reality TV’s best host/stars, and the show is absorbing. Like a good conditioner.

4.  “Modern Family”: I have to say, I laugh out loud at this show more than any other. The acting is so top-notch and the funny characters are so filled-out by those great actors. The premise is simple. Here’s a modern American family, including a clueless dad, annoying teenage daughter, hapless mom, and a gay couple that happily gives in to stereotypes, but is still funny. There’s the hot Colombian second, and younger wife (Sofia Vergara)

Sofia Vergara, Ed O'Neill's hot, younger, second wife on "Modern Family."

and her way-too-mature pre-teen son, Manny, (played like a pro by 11-year-old Rico Rodriguez), who just about steals the show.

Modern Famiy's scene stealer, Rico Rodriguez, as the precocious Manny.

Just about, because Ed O’Neill (You know, Al Bundy) is so amazing in this show as the gruff, yet tender grandfather (and husband of the hot second, younger wife and reluctant stepfather to the precocious Manny). But it’s the tangents in which the show goes off that makes this a stand-out. Just this week they paid tribute to Both Spandau Ballet (Edward Norton in a funny turn as Izzy LaFontaine, bassist for Spandau Ballet) and Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark . You’ll never be able to listen to SB’s “True” again with a straight face. ” That is, if you we you were ever able to in the first place.

5.  “Parks and Recreation”: OK, I lied. The out-loud laughs record is not held by “Modern Family,” but rather by the very smart and funny P&R. Amy Poehler   and a brilliant ensemble cast (Rashida Jones and Chris Pratt, especially) romp through some very smart dialogue and topics, some never before seen on the always predictable and rehashed world of sitcoms. While “P&R” started off as an “uh-oh, where’s this going?” rip-off of “The Office,” it has matched that show (this past week’s “Office” with its Southern murder mystery parlor game was that series at its best). There are many smart (dare I even say “intellectual”) references sprinkled throughout the show, and the uber talented Poehler has a field day building her lovable character, Leslie Knope, as deputy head of a yokel Midwest parks department. She a larger aspirations.  This mockumentary always lets on that she’s smarter than we think, but if you begin to take her too seriously, she’ll do something so goofy, you’ll fall in love with her again and again. If you saw last season, and were disappointed with the first few episodes, do yourself a favor and watch again. If Amy Poehler doesn’t win an Emmy, the gig is rigged. I heart Leslie Knope.  As much as I heart Liz Lemon and the wildly crazy, funny and uneven “30 Rock.” Alright, I heart Tracey Jordan/Morgan, too.

Yes, I heart Tracey Morgan...Jordan.

6. “So You Think You Can Dance”: Best talent competition on TV, and certainly the best dance competition (yes, I even watched “Dance Your Ass Off!”). Forget the amazing, sometimes stunning dancing (hello, Legacy   ), and the totally sexy and extremely likable host, Cat Deely,   this show has turned me on to better music than “American Idol”: Mirah’s “The Garden”, Roison Murphy’s “Ramalama (Bang Bang), and most recently George Baker Selection’s “Little Green Bag.” The dancing…it’s sick, as judge Adam Shankman would say. (Where’s Mia Michaels this year? Boo.)  Did I mention that I hate dance? But I love SYTYCD. My money’s on Jakob, Legacy, Russell to all tie in the end.

7.  “The Good Wife”: Biggest surprise of this season. I had no idea what this show would be like. And it turns out it’s one of those lawyer shows. But with a million twists and the really, really good and riveting Julianna Margulies guiding it along like a laser.  Hands down, best new drama of 2009.

8. “Chopped”: Love this cooking show where four cheftestants have to make three courses out of unlikely ingredients. Yeah, yeah, I love every cooking show (especially any one that features Padma Lakshmi   ), and the new “Chef Academy” seems to have the winning ingredient of all these reality shows: a good cast of characters. Oh, and if Kevin doesn’t win “Top Chef”, I’ll be really surprised. Unless of course one of the innovative Voltaggio Brothers wins.

9. “True Blood”: I miss you, young Jessica, my favorite vampire.

"True Blood"'s Jessica, the brattiest and best teenaged vampire in Bon Temps.

If I had to pick my desert island show, this would be it. If the desert island had a TV.

10. “Mission Impossible”:  I am absolutely addicted to this surprisingly complex ’60s series. It’s on between midnight and 2 a.m. on the AmericanLife Network (ALN), and I am under its spell from the second it starts. There’s nothing like the Cold War and Latin American dictators to get your adventure-thriller blood boiling. Problem is, there is something about this guilty pleasure that puts me to sleep within 5 minutes of its distinctive theme. It never fails, no matter how wide awake or tired I am. So I DVR it, and during daylight hours, watch Cinnamon, Paris, Phelps and the gang keep the world safe. Like Jack Bower, but not.

11. “Dexter”: I’m still sticking with you Dexter even if I have to see John Lithgow naked and you are completely predictable.  I judge TV predictability on “Oz,” one of the most adventurous cable TV achievements. You never knew what to expect and which main character would be killed off. On “Dexter” you always know what to expect, and Dexter is always safe — but it’s done so well, it almost doesn’t matter. Michael C. Hall is an acting revelation, but it’s the opening credits that are so good, I’m in for the whole next hour.

Dexter/Michael C. Hall and his sister/wife Deb/Jennifer Carpenter. You figure it out.

Well looks like it’s time for the new cast member to join the TGS. Last week Jack hired the Robot who performed on the street outside NBC.  When he shows up it turns out he’s actually a pretty normal guy despite dressing like a robot and being from Canada.

Jack asks Liz out to dinner.  It turns out that Jack and NBC want to start a talk-show based on Liz’s book Deal Breaker! Liz is very excited, but makes the mistake of taking Tracy and Jenna’s advice and she decides to shop the show around herself.  She hires a very junior agent who has never handled a human before, only animals.

Excited by the fact that Liz took their advice Tracy and Jenna start calling themselves “The Problem Solvers.”  When the new cast member offends Kenneth by not taking advantage of Kenneth the way that everyone else does Kenneth get’s upset.  Tracy and Jenna tell the new cast member that Kenneth likes being their slave, but he makes them think when he tells them that he doesn’t like to treat anyone like that in case they end up being his boss one day.

In the end the new cast member (I can’t find his name character name anywhere) and Kenneth come to some sort of understanding and Kenneth ends up helping him out, proving his worth and inflating Tracy and Jenna’s already inflated self-worth at the same time.

Jack tries to prove to Liz that he can play hardball as well, and interviews Top Chef’s Padma Lakshmi to host the Deal Breakers show.  In the end, both Jack and Liz realize that they need each other and everything is right again.

Thoughts and Observations:

• No surprise that the lovely Padma Lakshmi showed up on an episode.  Bravo, the channel that Top Chef is on is owned by NBC Universal, and Padma has a development deal with NBC for a sitcom.  Even if it sucks I will watch it on mute every week.
• The whole gag about Padma inventing a clear plastic bag to put a sandwich in was very funny for us Top Chef fans since Glad has been a sponsor of Top Chef for years.
• Poor Lutz.  He never gets any respect at all.  When he walks in, the sexy Cerie mistakes him for the new cast member despite the fact that he’s worked there for 3 years and he tells her, “I gave you that car I won?”
• The new cast member is from Canada and he can’t say “About” correctly.  Aboot.  Oh Canada, you are comedy gold.

Beginning this month on Wednesday nights at the E & O Tap, 289 Knight St. on the west side, Acme will be sponsoring Double Feature screenings presented by Liz Lemon! Films will range from the highest of brow to the lowest of trash. Coming up in December, various films of Nicolas Cage will be the focus to coincide with the release of the new Werner Herzog film Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans! See links for more info.

I dont know how I looked over this one. Epic fail on my part.

Favorite Fight Club Quote:

“In the world I see – you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You’ll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You’ll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you’ll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.”

…I want to go to there (that’s Liz Lemon, people. Stay with me).

City Chap has asked me to dinner on a second date. I put this down to the fact that my charm is irrepressible, whether I’m attracted to men or not. My friend S puts it down to another part of my character. ‘Guys ask you out on second dates,’ she told me this week, ’so that they get their turn to talk.’

As we know from past experience, I will accept the offer, thanks to a pathological inability to turn people down, and a warped concept of Christian charity.

And this despite the fact that I dislike second dates the most. Unlike first dates, you don’t have that anything-is-possible, who-knows-he-might-actually-look-like-James-Franco, frisson of anticipation. Nope, you already know what you’re getting. The best you can hope is that the lighting will make him look less like General Franco.

You’ve gone past the small talk stage too, so now you’re required to ask intelligent questions about his career/community work/Call of Duty addiction, and at least appear to listen to his replies. Of course, if it’s a good date, this will hopefully come naturally. But there’s still a basic amount of information you’re expected to extract from each other over the course of the evening, eg family members, place of birth, foreign trips in the past 12 months. It’s the dating equivalent of a CRB check – an essential but mundane process that takes far too long to come to a conclusion.

Talking of which, I leave you with a zinger from 30 Rock. I don’t know if you watch this American comedy but I’ve been finding much, much joy in the character of Liz Lemon – the professionally brilliant but personally flaky 30-something played by Tina Fey. The other day her boss Jack (Alec Baldwin), trying to persuade her to go out on a date.

Liz Lemon: Meeting someone new – ugh. All the nodding and smiling and sibling-counting. And what’s the upside? It works, and you have to have a bunch of sex?

Jack: You want to be single for the rest of your life?

Liz Lemon: No, I just wish I could start a relationship 12 years in when you really don’t have to try any more, and you can just sit around together and goof on TV shows, and then you can go to bed without anybody trying any funny business.

I wish I could find this exchange on YouTube for you, but instead here’s a taster of the wonderful Liz Lemon. As Liz herself would say – I want to go there…

Today I feel like Liz Lemon — and by that I mean I was running around like a chicken with its head off. But I did get a lot done and in the end I it made me feel especially efficient and independent.

I woke up extra early yesterday to take Eli to the vet for de-balling and de-clawing and did the same today to go and pick him up. As soon as my alarm went off at 6:30, I got straight to it. I showered and got ready for work, found a way to transform the giant (3×4 feet!) sand-filled litter box into a newspaper shredding litter box, prepared and printed my CV for critique at the Career Center, talked with the vet and picked up Eli, dropped him off at home, hit up McD for breakfast, and made it to work on time.

Then I worked all day and got off in time to make it to the walk-in hours at the Career Center where I went over my CV with some career people. Then I stopped to talk to Jeff for a while in OP before heading to McClain to pick up some transcript request forms. I finally hustled to my car so that I could get to Walmart and pick up some lettuce, hangers, and a fashion mag (my grocery list makes me sound like a starving model). I somehow lost my debit card in Walmart so that is one more thing I have to deal with tomorrow. When I got home, I had to lug a 100,000 pound bag of cat  litter Andy kept saying he would carry up eventually (+ the groceries I had just bought).  All I wanted to do when I got inside was lay down and watch some Netflix but then I had an eerie feeling that something was going on in the litter box room — I discovered that Francis and Eli prefer pooping on the carpet over pooping in the newspaper litter box. So I cleaned diarrhea turds out of the carpet and covered virtually the entire floor with newspaper for the next time they decide to poop in there. UGH, what a day.

Now it is time to unwind. Maybe I will watch a 30 Rock and think about my gurl, Liz Lemon.

I’m not afraid to admit it: I like the movie “Dirty Dancing”.  Always have, since the first time I saw it. Didn’t see it in the theater, but did see it on the old glorious VCR eventually.  In fact, my family bought our copy from Kroger, who must have swindled us: the sound was all muffled, like it was a copy of a copy (can’t you give me a decent copy, For Goodness Sake?)  Now many would claim this to be the ultimate chick flick.  Perhaps they are right.  But that doesn’t nullify all the good points that my world weary, sentimental pre-teen eyes enjoyed. First, it has great music. Yes, I know the soundtrack featured “She’s like the Wind”, but we here at Random Ramblings have a standing rule not to slander songs by recently deceased actors, no matter how mediocre the song may be (Rest in Peace, Bodhi).

Second, it’s set in the past, so it has the whole nostalgia factor.  Third, the central theme is breaking away from authority figures, so there’s the whole independent, coming of age vibe, which was/is right up my alley (I know, you are shocked, hearing that from a professed Wonder Years fan).  And finally, at least ¾’s of the entire world’s population has at some point uttered those famous words: “No one puts Baby in the corner”.  Even if there was no actual baby or corner in the vicinity.

However, for all it’s greatness, there is always once scene that has stuck out like a sore thumb to me.  And after recently watching the end of the movie again, I had to break out of my silence, and voice my concerns to all 3 of you that may read this column.  At the end of the movie, after Johnny has already left, there is the end of the summer recital.  They are singing that dreadful Kellerman’s song with the chorus “Join hands and hearts and voices, voices hearts and hands”.  Baby’s sister is for some inexplicable reason letting anyone other than herself and God hear her atrocious singing voice.  And yes, Baby is in the aforementioned corner.

Now, forget all that comes when Johnny arrives unexpectedly.  Yeah yeah, he gets Baby, and they dance (to a song that came out in the 80’s but somehow is passed off as a 60’s song).  Forget that Baby’s dad seems angry at Johnny, even though he already knows he did not get Penny pregnant.  And forget that the band is somehow shown playing along to the song, even though we already saw Johnny’s friend put on a record (sure, the horns can add on their parts, but the drummer? The guy conducting?). The weirdest moment of the whole movie comes when Max Kellerman is lamenting about the possible end of his resort.  “Trips to Europe, that’s what the kids want…22 countries in 3 days…it just seems like it’s all slipping away”.  To quote Liz Lemon, what the what?  Why would they make him a minor character for the majority of the movie (and one that seems bitter and stubborn when it comes to Swayze’s character) and then show a tender moment from him. Did Max Kellerman play a bigger part in the original script? Was he supposed to get Baby in the end in the first draft? Were there plans for a Max Kellerman spin off that never got past the development stage? Sadly, there have been no answers to all these burning questions.  The thirst for a romantic comedy starring an overweight, bald,  out of business family resort owner yearning for the “good ole days” still remains unquenched.  C’mon, Hollywood.  Help us out.

“Audition Day”

November 5th, 2009

I think that 30 Rock would be far funnier if it wasn’t so annoying.

This likely seems like a derogatory statement, but it’s really not: I thought “Audition Day” was the most enjoyable episode of the season yet, but yet I wouldn’t necessarily say it was that great, which reflects on both the quality of the season so far and the reality of this type of episode. It’s effectively a grab bag of comedy, as by the end of the episode you have plenty of jokes that you remember fondly, and callbacks to previous episodes that make you reminisce, and even some new jokes that really connect. However, while you’re happy with what you’ve received in those arenas, there’s also a bunch of other crap that didn’t connect comically, and that served only to promote business networking tools.

When there’s no real central premise to hold an episode like this one together, you’re left feeling like something was missing even as you gush over the genius of Brian Williams, which is pretty much where I stand with 30 Rock right now. I laughed, I commented on its cleverness, and yet still in the end I can’t help but be annoyed with elements of the episode that didn’t quite work. It’s particularly frustrating in that I actually think “Audition Day” was a pretty solid and funny episode, but there’s just something about the show that’s taking a shotgun approach to comedy that I’m just not responding well to.

At least we’ll always have Moonvest.

What worked in this episode was that, for the most part, everything was operating on the same level in terms of the episode’s central theme: the show is hiring a new cast member, and Liz and Pete are trying to convince Jack that it was his idea all along to hire the individual who they prefer. This leads to Tracy and Jenna turning paranoid, which leads to a zanier audition section than expected, which has a bedbug-riddled Jack in a different mood than the Hornberger Method could have predicted. As everything tumbled out of control, it felt like the episode itself was in control of how it tumbled out of control (if that makes any sense). As such, the overall storylines weren’t as much the issue as were the fact that every character basically became a joke machine in the process.

The effectiveness of those jokes were largely dependent on who was delivering them. The episode had a number of strong Liz lines, such as her mother sending her articles indicating the high value placed on older virgins in Mexico, and even Jenna (since she had an even crazier foil in Tracy) had a number of zingers both in relation to her occasional sanity (acknowledging being used to ground Kim Cattrall in auditions) and her relative ignorance (No, Devail is not the opposite of Prevail). And perhaps strongest of all was the greatness of Jack Donaghy’s crusade against bed bugs, as he learned how normal people live by taking the subway and having to appeal to them as if he were homeless. The product integration within his storyline was shameless and distracting (especially when the show does tongue-in-cheek NBC promotion every week as a joke), but when it actually turned into Jack experiencing something he had never experienced before (although not directly in Kenneth’s shoes, considering he only wears the one pair and sleeps in them) it was clever and enjoyable. That subway speech was great not only because of how Baldwin delivered it, but because Moonvest was one of the people slowly crawling away from him on the train, and that just cracked me up.

I like it when the show does just that, which it did some more later on. I enjoyed the janitor playing a character of an old janitor who gets fed up an stabs people, and I enjoyed Liz’s admonished “YOU ALSO TOLD ME TO BE A ROBOT” as Jack’s newfound common man experience makes him a changed judge. And while there were a number of cheap jokes amidst the auditions, Kathy Geiss as Susan Boyle was cute and I’ll never not love someone talking like Christopher Walker. But yet, there were also a lot of stinkers in that audition sequence, like the writers’ bits (none of which were laugh-worthy) or the fact that we were robbed of seeing Dot Com do Chekhov, or the throwaway joke about Kathy Geiss taking off her underpants. Those jokes aren’t hitting, nor are they necessary, but yet the show seems to insist on having them be present. I don’t know if it’s an issue of overstuffed scripts, or that these character pairings are just too fruitful for their own good, but the show could cut its bad jokes and still have enough material for 20 solid minutes of television comedy.

This is still a show that does many things well, such as the genius of Brian Williams or something as small as Liz knowing exactly why Kenneth would have let Jenna see the audition list for the new cast member (Luggage Store Jenna). But there was a time when I would have said the show could do anything well, such as a bit of shameless product integration. They might have been able to turn bed bugs into a fun little B-Story, but the skill to take it all and bring it together seems to have eluded them thus far this season. “Audition Day” wasn’t a tremendous effort, but it was the first time that I was more frustrated by the show’s failure than annoyed by its lack of quality, which is an emotional leap in the right direction if not a substantial one.

Cultural Observations

• It had nothing to do with the episode, but watching Scott Adsit turn a horizontal wheel in order to indicate the opening of a flood gate made me crack up far more than it should have.
• I don’t know why the show tried to make a “character is insensitive about Katrina and confuses it with something less tragic” joke when Dennis’ Superdome joke was already brilliant – don’t try to improve on perfection, show, you’ll fail every time.
• Horse in pantsuits: another point for Stone Mountain.
• Having Jaden actually turn out to be evil got us the fun joke about Liz admitting that she only doubted Jenna because she was never right, but it went a bit over the top with the genitalia photos and the like.
• Silly Liz: you forgot the robot! Did Robin Sparkles teach you nothing?

Hey Team,

In honor of today being National Sandwich Day, all of us here at aes have decided to mix up the regular blogging schedule and share some interesting, random or just plain fun sandwich tidbits with y’all.

Without hesitation, I knew I had to dedicate some space today to Liz Lemon as portrayed by the ridiculously hilarious and absolutely brilliant Tina Fey.

I’m not one to hide my affection (read love affair, obsession, etc.) with Liz. Any of my friends can tell you how often I quote her, or any other 30 Rock character for that matter, but Liz and I share something special. Perhaps it’s her clever way of making up words, maybe it’s her impeccable wit or it could even be her ability to make any social situation hilarious. (And by hilarious, I of course mean awkward.) But what’s truly great for all of us sandwich enthusiasts is how much Liz really loves her…sandwiches.

The sandwich probably hasn’t seen this much primetime, sitcom love since Joey from Friends dedicated quite a few lines every season to our food of choice. But, to our great benefit, 30 Rock introduced us to Liz’s infatuation with an entire episode from the show’s second season, aptly titled “Sandwich Day”.

Check out just how serious Liz is about getting her sandwich on:

But all jokes aside, the most recent episode of 30 Rock (the show is now in its fourth season) couldn’t have come at a better time for us. As Liz and her boss Jack (played to perfection by Alec Baldwin) travel to “the real America” as Jack puts it, the two share a moment when Lemon expresses what she believes unites every human.

As you may have heard, yesterday was National Oatmeal Day.

In homage to my dearly beloved, I ate my oats accordingly. And as a very oatriotic individual, I paid tribute on multiple occasions.

We’ll get to those oats eats in a bit.

Thursday morning started off on a good note.

(Yes, I get CNN texts…)

Economic growth? Greater likelihood of employment? Me gusta esto.

With the ring of the doorbell, Thursday got progressively better.

Sir UPS delivered the best Annie’s goodie bag ever!

A couple weeks ago, I won an Annie’s contest on Twitter (simply by guessing that one of the ingredients in their 5-Grain Elbows was spelt). The prize?

An Annie’s reusable shopping bag, cheddar bunnies, bunny graham friends, 2 boxes of mac & cheese and 2392389229 pouches of bunny fruit snacks!

Oh, and the best part…

An adorable Annie’s Homegrown tee!

This T-shirt is the antithesis of a standard company tee. You know those usual oversized, stiff cotton freebies? Annie’s company tee is perfectly fitted (how did they know I wasn’t an XL hombre?) and the softest thing I’ve ever felt (it’s a cotton-bamboo blend!).

I love the back .

I thought about modeling it for you guys–but ultimately decided against the whole MySpace webcam thing. So not my style… .

I can’t wait to rock this to yoga and/or pilates and make all my hippie classmates ridiculously jealous. Why am I such a nice person?

The morning continued on its upward curve of positivity when I learned that it was National Oatmeal Day.

To help explain why I believe this national holiday is one of utmost importance, I’m going to turn to some dialogue from last night’s episode of 30 Rock:

Liz Lemon: You want to paint me as this New York snob… Can I share with you my world view? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.

Jack: What a surprise. Your world view is food-based…

Amen, Lizzie. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to be friends with a fictional character more so than with Liz Lemon.

I wholeheartedly agree with Lemon’s world view. But I think this principle of universality also applies to oatmeal. I believe that all of foodbloglandkind has one thing in common: oatmeal. I believe that all any food blogger really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a bowl of oats.

And so I did.

Remember when I discovered ice cream oats? Oddly enough, I haven’t recreated them since. And I figured N.O.D. was the perfection occasion for some celebratory hot n’ cold oats.

So, I recreated my Vanilla Bean Irish Oats.

1/4 cup Irish oats cooked in water, vanilla extract, brown sugar and cinnamon; topped with a generous scoop of vanilla bean ice cream

With a simple fruity addition, this indulgent bowl of oats reached a new level…

Apple Oats a La Mode

I “baked” one chopped honey crisp apple in a little almond milk, cinnamon and Truvia—and covered the vanilla bean oats in an extra layer of sweet warmth.

As you can see, this accelerated the melting process.

This was not a bad thing.

I truly, truly believe that oatmeal has the divine power to unify mankind and achieve world peace.

If not, perhaps Liz Lemon got it right: There are always sandwiches.

And so a sandwich I ate.

Around lunchtime, I was faced with dueling cream cheese & jelly and cream cheese & apple cravings.

I went with the whole sandwich unification theorem and allowed my cravings to become allies.

Cream Cheese & Jelly & Honeycrisp Sandwich 

It was truly harmonious. And ridiculously delicious.

Filling? Not so much.

I microwaved some green beans, melted my new favorite vegan cheese on top, and added garlic powder and sriracha.

I’d say cheese was another universal wonder; but, alas, there exist vegans who would quickly shoot that one down.

Lo siento for the less-than-glamorous and quite random lunch, but I threw it together as I was getting ready to do some Halloween costume shoppage.

I packed mall provisions—simply because if I get hungry mid-shopping, there’s nothing in the world that can come between me and an Auntie Anne’s pretzel. Nada.

And a new fruity gum flavor—in case the smoothie stands started calling to me.

(This was blech. The flavor lasted for .5 seconds. Luckily, the smoothie stands decided not to holler at me.)

After some quality brainstorming and mall scrounging with mi amiga mejor, I got a costume! Success!

I came home famished. So dinner came quickly, in two delicious divisions.

Part Uno: Ensalada

I was set on incorporating both honey maple turkey and FSTG lime tortilla chips into my dinner. The result:

In the mix: 3 cups baby spinach, orange baby pepper, sun-dried tomatoes, 3 slices honey maple turkey and crushed handful of FSTG lime chips.

I diverged from my standard honey balsamic dressing—and threw together a quick spicy mustard-balsamic combo. Aaaamazing. Could be my new favorite…

As always, the stars were front and center.

People, por favor, add lime FSTG chips to your next salad creation. It is indescribably life/salad-changing. My bag is nearing its end. But I will be purchasing another to ensure future ensalada greatness.

In the spirit of further milking N.O.D., I recreated my Double Cheesy Egg Scrambly Oats.

This time with one French Onion Laughing Cow wedge and one Original, and broccoli and roasted red peppers in place of spinach and tomatoes.

Spicy egg scramble piled high:

Ridiculous Laughing Cow infusion:

Messy, cheesy, eggy, srirachy gloriousness:

So incredibly satisfying and filling that no dessert was had. (Fine, a few bites of Vanilla Bean Ice Cream. But they were straight out of the carton, and there’s no proof. Soooo…)

And now, Halloween weekend commences. I will reveal this year’s costume in Monday’s weekend recap.

For now, a hint: my costume involves stealing something I’d never eat. Any guesses?

If it helps inform your speculation at all, my costumes are almost always embarrassing. And assuredly never sexy.

Case in point: last year’s costume.

Yes. We were troll dolls. This involved gallivanting las calles of downtown D.C. in nude unitards, wherein we learned that nude unitards are never socially acceptable. Not even on Halloween.

It was hilarious.

This is my first Halloween in 4 years without my orange and pink troll amigas, a.k.a Rachael and Hilary; I’m going to miss their willingness to partake in my penchant for self-deprecating dress-up. (They are being Doug Funnie and Patty Mayonnaise this year!)

However, I’m keeping my humiliating Halloween spirit alive in NYC, during what is sure to be a wild weekend.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

-Sarah

When 30 Rock is good, it’s really good.  Last night’s episode, Stone Mountain was really good.  Three different story-lines and they were all very funny.

Liz and Jack are still looking for a new cast member.  Jack is sick of Liz not looking in the “real America” so they head to Kenneth’s hometown of Stone Mountain Georgia where everything is just a little bit different than it is back in NYC.  Liz gets sick from eating at Fatty Fat’s Sandwich Shack so Jack sets off by himself to find an actor.  He finds a ventriloquist played by Jeff Dunham.  Jack hires him and makes Liz go to watch him.  She plans to heckle him in hopes that it will scare him or Jack off (he-he Jack off).  The tables are turned on her and he gives it right back to her, which only makes Jack angry.  Jack rushes the stage and attacks the dummy forcing them to leave before an angry mob gets them.

The second story involved Lutz, Frank, and Twofur trying to be friendly to Jenna so that they get invited to a gay Halloween party.  She’s using them too in order to get them to write good material for them.  The best parts was the interaction between her gay friends and Frank.

The last bit was Tracy Jordan worrying that he was going to be the third celebrity to die in the “rule of three.”  He’s so paranoid he call’s Betty White in hops that she’s close to death.  He also tries to kill Jimmy Fallon.

Thoughts and Observations:

• I thought the Jimmy Fallon and Betty White cameos were great.  Especially when they poked fun and Jimmy’s caliber of guests.
• I loved all the random people in Stone Mountain that looked a lot like Kenneth.
• Tracy looking for other dead celebrities, “Keep refreshing!  Maybe Andy Dick has died in the last 20 seconds.”
• The People’s Gaypublic of Drugafornia, what Jack calls San Fransisco.
• “When the Parcells first came to America, they lived in a town called Sexcriminalboat.”
• Jack on Lemon’s breath when sick, “Good God, Lemon, your breath. When did you find time to eat a diaper you found on the beach?”
• I have to agree with the writers.  As an adult I’ve always found Halloween parties to be disappointing.  Maybe I just need to go to more gay Halloween parties.

…laughter! Gotta love 30 Rock.

“Liz Lemon you boogerface!”

“A book hasn’t caused me this much trouble since Where’s Waldo went to that barber pole factory”

“The world’s gayest country – Ireland”

HAHAHAHAHHA

Yeah that is random. It’s from 30 Rock. It’s hilarious. I love that show. Anyway. Went to work in Jasper with Todd today. Well first we went to Sioux Falls for a good long while. Let me list to you the places I napped throughout the day while waiting for Todd:

Outside the Wilson’s.

Outside of Shamatt’s

On the cement driveway of the home owner we put windows in for.

At Verizon Wireless in the mall.

By far the comfiest was VW. Except a young punk woman that was working there woke me up by saying ‘Taking a nap?’ ….wtfmoron. And I was like ‘…yeah’ and she goes ‘I dont blame you *giggle*’. Blerg. But it was a good day at work and then me and mom cooked dinner together and it was delicious and I want to be a pig and eat more but I wont. I’ll just drink more grape juice yay! Here, have the clip from 30 Rock. You’re welcome.

Liz: I never get put on a jury. I wear my Princess Leia costume and they dismiss me immediately.

Liz: I don’t think it’s fair to ask me to be on a jury because I can read thoughts.
Judge: Dismissed!

But that was in Chicago. More recently, the character was called to jury duty in New York. This ensued.
Other references abound. Here’s a few.

(Liz Lemon talks with Jenna Maroney about being asked out by the good looking guy that works for MSNBC upstairs, whom they refer to as “The Hair”)
Liz: I had to say yes. I mean, he looked at me with those crazy handsome guy eyes. It was like the Death Star tractor beam when the Falcon –
Jenna: No, Liz! Do not talk about stuff like that on your date. Guys like that do not like Star Trek.
Liz: Wars — Star Wars!

Liz: (videochatting with boyfriend Floyd) Is that how far apart my eyes are?! I look like Admiral Ackbar!

edit: The Gentleman just found me this on thinkgeek.com: a kids’ Tauntaun sleeping bag.

I will not truly rest until I have one. It even has intestines decorating the lining. (I thought they smelled bad on the etc) Siiiiiiiiiigh.