It’s kind of strange to see International programs amongst the higher rating programs when you actually give it some thought. Not only do they have to contend with a higher proportion of locally made content but thanks largely to institutions such as the AFI’s and Logies there has been a discourse constructed of locally made content up against ‘the other’. Although this other is generally considered the benchmark, locally made programming will always be differentiated and has an underlying cultural context which can not be replicated by something constructed in the US or UK.

Deciding what programming within the Australian industry is worth recognition is also a contentious issue especially considering the way in which awards are decided at such events as the Logies.
‘The Logies participate in a discourse that
is already structured by the oppositions between commercial and non-commercial
imperatives, national and international measures, and the distinction between high and
low culture, or excellence and popularity, which is so often central to discussions about
television.’
(McCONCHIE & ORR VERED, Journal of Media & Cultural Studies, Vol. 17, No. 2, 2003)

To many Australians the pinnacle of the Australian Television Awards – The Logies, is a bit of a joke. But Australian TV’s night of nights, however unbearable it may be on some occasions, provides the Australian public to be self-reflective in regards to it’s sense of national identity. The Logies are also a great tool for promoting local products to the Australian viewing audience.

‘Television shows about television, because they are self-reflective, narrate what
otherwise remains implicit: the cultural work of television as an industry and an object.
What television has to say about itself contributes to the general public discourse about
the medium but does so from an exceptionally informed position and in an especially
performative style.’
(McCONCHIE & ORR VERED, Journal of Media & Cultural Studies, Vol. 17, No. 2, 2003)

Television consumption in Australia is still largely comprised of free-to-air viewing with subscription based television reaching only approximately one in three households. This is a rise over the past 5 years of approximately 1% per year.

So my friend showed me this You Tube Video of Carl Stefanovic from the Today show on Channel Nine after the Logies night, he went on air pretty much straight after the event still drunk from the night before. . . it was classic…. take a look

I was happily browsing the Internet the other day when I happened to come upon an interesting article from ninemsn news about how Logies host, Gretel Killeen, was being tear down via twitter (article here). As it happens, celebrities at the ceremony were twittering away in real-time, their opinions and views, about the host when the ceremony hasn’t even been officially broadcasted. This is a perfect example that could be used to explain this rising trend of citizen journalism or otherwise known as grassroots journalism or participatory journalism.

Citizen journalism is defined by Bowman and Willis (2003) as ‘the act of a citizen, or group of citizens, playing an active role in the process of collecting, reporting, analy[s]ing and disseminating news and information’. Citizen journalism like produsage is able to give voices to those who originally were only given the options to take it or leave it. Dan Gillmor gives a very good insight to Citizen Journalism in his lecture given at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (2007), ‘traditional forms of journalism is like a lecture – journalists say ‘here’s the news’, then we buy it, read it, might send in a letter with our opinions and they might decide to publish it.’ It was really only a one way process as the consumers were only able to accept or reject what was given to them. Citizen Journalism, however, is different in that it provides news in a more interactive manner – more like that of a seminar of a conversation.

With the rise of the Internet and the ease at which news and information can now be obtained and distributed, audiences are now seeking an alternative to the perfectly digested, regurgitated and often decorated version of events by professional journalists (Bruns 2008). Audiences are now produsers who wants to have an active role in the production of news and information. It is this new culture where people are not afraid to speak their minds and would actively seek to correct or disagree with the ‘Big Media’ if they deem it necessary.

Another thing that could have also contributed to the popularity of citizen journalism is this idea of having news in real-time and often in first hand. Like how we saw in the case of Gretel Killeen, the news of what was happening at the ceremony was out before most people even got to see the ceremony! Another great example of citizen journalism at work was after September 11. In the days that followed there were better reports on the event online than through the news channel on television. People within New York were blogging about the event first-hand. What they saw, heard, felt, smelt and not only so, it was the events in either real-time or near real-time. Other people from other parts of the world were able to go online and see exactly what’s happening through these blogs right then.

Some interesting examples of citizen Journalism:

OhMyNews – http://english.ohmynews.com/

Malaysiakini.com – http://www.malaysiakini.com/

Action Network initiative – http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/actionnetwork

Crikey – http://www.crikey.com.au/

New Matilda – http://newmatilda.com/

On Line Opinion – http://www.onlineopinion.com.au/

Indymedia network – http://www.indymedia.org/en/index.shtml

Huffington Post – http://www.huffingtonpost.com/

The Uptake – http://theuptake.org/

iReport – http://www.ireport.com/

References:

Bowman, S. and C. Willis. 2003. WeMedia: How Audiences are Shaping the Future of News and Information. Reston: The Media Center at The American Press Institute.

Bruns, A. 2008. Blogs, Wikipedia, second life, and beyond: from production to produsage. New York: Peter Lang Publishing Inc.

Dan Gillmor Lecture. 2007. Streaming video recording. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ghns_WJ-e90 (accessed May 5, 2009).

Davies, S. 2009. Twitterati tear down Gretel Killeen. Ninemsn News. May 4.

If you were watching the Today show the other morning, you would’ve been treated to a drunk Karl Stefanovic, post Logies celebrations…

The guy is so obviously still drunk from the night before, and its evident as soon as he opens his mouth!  He tries to present the weather starting with QLD, then to NSW, but then all of a sudden he says “You know what?  Who cares!” haha…  Lisa Wilkinson keeps it together for the duo…

Its very entertaining morning TV – if only all morning shows could be like this…!

If this year’s Logies aren’t the last, then there’s something awfully wrong with Australia’s entertainment industry. Honestly, it’s the worst three hours in the whole year. It’s painful to watch.

Bored attendees… an awful host… bemused international stars… fashions behind the times… dwindling public support. But I think the worst part is celebrating popular opinion rather than artistic merit and talent. The Oscars don’t give out awards to the most popular celebrity, because that would be a total wank. So why do we do it?

So, how does the Australian entertainment industry regain some self-respect here?

1. First thing to do is scrap the Logies. Completely. TV Week has to find another source of revenue now.
2. Ensure Gretel Killeen is not given another hosting job, ever.
3. Start the Twitterers’ Choice Awards for Aussie TV and film.
4. Give more coverage and creedance to the AFI awards.
5. Commerical television should take a chance on broadcasting offbeat, alternative, indie stuff – if there’s better material and better talent, then awards shows would be less painful.

What do you think?

the first topic on the agenda is me. and how i am so pleased that the world is (slowly) beginning to recognise me and how absolutely amazing i happen to be. (i just wish it would hurry up!)

proof of this fact came to me in a photo today from my katie, who is in north america (of which we will discuss more further down)

so let me now unveil this photo to all you good, georgia-loving people of the world:

as you can see, my name appears three times on this building. i have even circled them for you in bright yellow for easy spotting. clearly, this building is being built in honour of me and quite clearly that amazing man in the yellow is one of these georgia-worshippers who is helping such a fantastic architectual monument to me be constructed!

so, vancouver (where this building site is), i thank you for your gracious offering to my good self, however i shall be unable to attend the opening ceremony, as i am under high demand and shan’t be able to make it to your fair city.

however, i do promise to pop by sometime in the future! lay out the pink carpet for me!

but enough about me and my building, we have other matters to cover!

we discussed tort law last post. let us continue this. just briefly.

today we studied a case where a rolls royce was involved in two accidents (both the other cars’ fault, not the rolls royce), two weeks apart.

the first accident caused much damage, but the rolls royce wasn’t repaired before the second crash occurred therefore only the guy in the FIRST accident was liable, and not the second.

this sounds a lot like Donna’s (my big blue car) encounter with the pole… because the bumper bar was already damaged (due to a previous ding), i am not liable for the bumper bar, meaning that i only have to claim the broken light. and as a tiny baby, this makes the whole ordeal waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less expensive, because dad claiming the bumper bar = cheaper than me claiming the bumper bar.

and it turns out, because i applied this real life incident to tort law, i was right.

clearly, my life = tort law. fucking creeping me out.

in other news, katie has departured from canadia, but is still in north america. she is in seattle, being ravaged by vampires and keeping her eye out for werewolves. she’s good at that.

recently she stumbled across the outskirts of the set for new moon, the new twi-movie, in canadia, proving once and for all: canadia is a dangerous, vampire infested country! FEAR IT! or go there and find your sparkly true love and marry him/her and have creepy perfect half breed babies with retarded names.
your choice.

but really, i just miss katie and wish she’d just leave america and come home already, really. i’m counting the days. it’s pretty soon. just over a month now…

in even more news, i want a job at the ABC, if anyone from the ABC (that’s the Australian one, people) happens to read this blog, please give me a job! i shall work for free. i’m good at that.

in some very exciting television news: YAY! YAY! YAY! they’re back! super excited.

and for the shiggles: man china never fails to astound me with its whackness

yeah, i’m an ABC-whore, sue me. or get me a job there. really.

i watched the logies last night, should’ve blogged them, i may attempt to recap them later, but in the mean time i will mention that rebecca gibney won the gold logie and i am thrilled cos she’s pretty freaking awesome and isn’t annoying like those stupid neighbours/home&away stars who really don’t do anything but eventually get killed off the show. yay rebecca gibney!

out.

Well it’s been four days since I last blogged so here I go. I will start, I suppose, with the 51st Annual TV Week Logie Awards which I watched the entirity of last night, for the first time in many years, if not ever. Okay I love Gretel Killeen and her hosting, and I loved Big Brother… yes despite society’s beliefs, Big Brother was great and I have good faith, one day the concept will be reborn on Australian television but first back to Gretel Killeen.

Okay, so the Logies are pretty terrible. I’m sorry, but for Australian TV’s Night of Nights, they are simply embarrasing. That represent everything that is sucky about Australian television and I don’t think it’s the host’s fault. Gretel, who only appeared five times throughout a 3 hour show which is stupid in itself, isn’t the reason for the crapiness of the Logies – it’s the whole concept and running of the show, and especially the writers.

The presenters are fake, and the script isn’t natural enough. The voice-over guy introduced more things than the host, and correct me if I’m wrong but the host runs the show on screen and introduces the acts, am I wrong? How annoying, that Gretel finally returns to TV and gets such a small part while ‘leading’ the show. It’s a tough job and I think Gretel may have not done the best job she could’ve but I think if she were doing more things like on Big Brother including improvising and introducing things, being the show runner, she would’ve had a better night.

Meanwhile I don’t even know/care about half of those actors because of how small the Australian industry, which I one day hope to be apart of is. It’s quite sad to think the Logies represent our country’s television. Anyway, sorry to give such a rant.

Going to go have dinner.

jakevin.

I resolve to write a new Psychomuse blog every morning, or night, once I get a new job.

So here’s today’s.

*iTunes on* Ray Charles swinging in the background.

I watched the Logies last night, as everyone did, as I did I spent a whole lotta time on Twitter reading peoples updates from the show.  I laughed alot.  Poor Gretel though, it’s a hard gig getting on stage at anytime, even worse when you’ve got a room full of D-grade celebs catching up.  Dave Hughes and Wil Anderson’s spots were great.
My highlight though were the Gold Logie War Room sketches, special mention goes to the ever talented and amazing Kate McLennan, and Justin Kennedy.  Amazing job by two of this cities incredibly talented comedians.

I’m writing my new stand-up spot, and have had some amazing advice.  Thank you, you know who you are, I really appreciate the help.

Also writing Vyv/Violet, annoyingly my marketing of this show has a clearer objective than the actual show does at the moment.   But she’s coming along, slowly but surely. Vyv is the self-aware, smart, grown-up. While you have the contrasting ditzy innocence of Violet.  Many lessons learnt on the way, it’ll be a roller coaster ride and a fun one at that.

This is sooo cool! I loved it, and guessing the rest of the crowd did too judging by the squeals. Check out the pics as well – major hotness.

Ok so as predicted, Packed to the Rafters swept the board.

Gretel tried hard to entertain, (was this the reason for the Minnelli-style cut?) but like many of her co-hosts, the humour fell flat.

I can’t believe I got through to the end.

Last night’s Logie Awards ceremony was a shambolic disaster. Gretel Killeen’s first go at hosting the Logies was so bad it almost made you wish for Wendy Harmer, most of the presenters were wooden and the banter was insufferable. Most years I would have followed my normal course of action and switched it off, but this year there was a surprise ingredient that made the Logies must watch TV, twitter.

One of the great features of twitter is its real time search results which, in addition to letting you search for whatever you’re interested in, lists the top ten terms in use at that time, the trending topics. Last night during the telecast both “Logies” and “Gretel” made their way into the top ten and clicking on either of them led to some of the funniest commentary you’d ever read.

Mumbrella’s Tim Burrows summed it up best when he tweeted Twitter does for the Logies what Terry Wogan does for Eurovision. He was spot on, except it was more like having a hundred Terry Wogans, all bringing their own unique take on the event.

The twitter stream was bolstered by Wil Anderson, who was actually giving a running commentary from the event. Because the telecast was on a 30 minute delay, Wil’s tweets gave a glimpse into the awful future that we were yet to see.

The best comment of the night however definitely went to comedian Dan Ilic, giving his review of the woeful Peter Phelps sketch with Humphrey B. Bear. “Humphrey on stage begging for a job. No pants, no speech, wild gestures. That’s not kids tv, that’s an ice addict.”

So with the sad news that there will be no Terry Wogan commentary on SBS’ Eurovision telecast this year it’s great to know that there will still be a reliable source of snark to drag us through until the final vote is cast.

Australias TV night of nights came about again this year and all the celebrities came out to dazzle and bedazzle the crowds and media alike. Frocks came from various designers some of which we saw most recently at L’oreal Melbourne Fashion Festival.

Canon 20D with 50mm, 50mm @ F/2.8, 1/125s

Canon 20D with 50mm, 50mm @ F/2.8, 1/125s

The stars came in there droves which included Sarah Murdoch, Kristy Hinze, Rove McManus, Lisa McCune, Mathew Newton, Dave Hughes, Shaun Micallef, Wil Anderson, Liz Hayes, George Negus, Rodger Corser, Steve Bisley, Dr Chris Brown, Roy Billing, Josh Lawson, Ed Kavalee and The Umbilical Brothers, just to name a few.  International Stars in attendence included Rachel Griffiths, Annie Lennox and Natalie Bassingthwaighte and Peter Reckell and Kristian Alfonso AKA Bo and Hop from “Days of our Lives”

My pick for the “Best Dress” came down to three finalists however after much deliberation I chose:

Canon 20D with 50mm, 50mm @ F/2.8, 1/160s

The red carpet was a glitz and glamour of men in taylored suits and women in dress to die for, but you shall see all these and more in our  TV Week Logie Awards Gallery

Until our next photographic adventure, thats all for now: Brett Robson – Freelance Media Photographer

Every year I think they get worse and worse. The jokes get lamer, the presenters even more rehearsed and finding a good host is seemingly impossible.

I don’t normally watch them, but THANK GOD for technology. In particular, Twitter. Wil Anderson was doing a running commentary of the night while he was there, and Marc Fennell was doing the same, though from his couch at home. Nevertheless, still very funny. I think the Logies were actually more entertaining via Twitter than they were actually on the TV.

One more thing: Should the Logies organisers ever try and get Gretel Killeen to host again, I think we could safely say they’d be causing the brain rot of all of the 20 people who actually watch the damn awards. Those “jokes” she tried to make were bad in the worst possible sense.

Highlights of the night: Dave Hughes presenting, Rove’s first acceptance speech, Umbilical Brothers presenting, Wil Anderson presenting, all of the Underbelly wins, the campaign office skits for each network.

Lowlights of the night: Any time Gretel Killeen was on camera (too many times) *shoots self*, most speeches, Mark Loves Sharon nominated for best comedy, unnecessary jokes mostly by Gretel Killeen), letting Gretel Killeen host the awards–worst idea EVER.

If you’re not on Twitter it would be worth signing up tonight to read the tweets from the Logies.

If you believe Dom Knight, Julian Morrow and Wil Anderson, it sounds like Gretel Killeen’s return to TV has so far been far from hilarious.

Can’t wait til the cameras pan to the Chaser/Gruen table and they are all head down madly twittering on their iPhones!

It should be an interesting awards night tonight, as we all look excitedly forward to blah, blah, blah…

So the Logies are on again. But who really cares?

The poor quality sound and vision that Channel 9 always provides makes the whole thing harder to watch than the last home-made holiday dvd your Uncle Dave  made to show you. 

If you were looking forward to the red carpet, bad luck. The Bogan duo – presenters Jules Lund and Shelley Croft – both Channel 9 employees, will most likely get coverage over the more likeable Lyndsey Rodrigues (of MTV fame) and the bubbly commentary of Carson Kressley.

Perhaps Gretel Killeen will hold my interest – she’s a witty and smart tv host. But can she say anything about the Australian television industry that hasn’t been said before?

What I can predict is that the biggest winner will be 7’s Packed to the Rafters. But with 11 nominations for the show and members of the cast, that’s not a risky bet.

The Gold Logie could keep me watching until the end:

Packed to the Rafter’s Rebbecca Gibney is the most obvious, being in the most popular tv show of 2008, not to mention her popularity and former success on our screens.
Natalie Bassingthwaighte has had huge success with So You Think You Can Dance, and despite this being a television awards ceremony, has had a hit album as well. 
I actually had no idea who Simmone Jade Mackinnon was (thanks Google), and yet I watch a lot of tv, so I’m going to say it won’t be her.
Everybody loves Rove, but he hasn’t had enough success or made enough trashy mag headlines to earn the gold.
Kate Ritchie could be the dark horse, though she had her quick-tell-her-we-like-her-now-that-she’s-leaving-H&A win last year, Underbelly put her back on the screen. 
Ian Smith could have a Ritchie-esque Logie win, now that he has left Neighbours after 20 years.
And then there’s the very talented Andrew Denton, and friend-of-the-people Adam Hills representing the ABC. But lovers of the ABC aren’t the demographics that read TV Week or are likely to spend the night texting away to secure the gold for either of these two blokes.

Aahhh, the TV Week Logie Awards. The closest thing Australia gets to the Emmys… or maybe the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards. Come to think of it, the Logies would probably be more entertaining if Natalie Bassingthwaite or Kate Ritchie got slimed.

The TV Week Gold Logie award - for the most popular person in the whole wide world of Australian TV, as voted by readers of TV Week, and people who have the interest and desire to log on to a website or SMS their vote for a small fee.

But it got me think about how self-perpetuating the whole Australian TV industry is. In reality, the Logies are just one long promotional activity for television programs, punctuated by advertisements… promoting television shows (and other products). It is simply four, long, non-stop hours of ads.

And, we watch it. Without really thinking about it. We are told it is entertainment, but why do we care who is the most popular person on TV? Do we need a TV awards program to confirm to us that we are making good choices? (Well, actually we do – looking to others to confirm our behaviour, or to help us make decisions is what psychologists refer to as social proof).

To some degree it is also a form of subliminal advertising, when you think about it (which defeats the purpose, in that subliminal advertising only works when we don’t think about it). People talking about the best shows, on whatever TV station. Who is most popular (Actor and Actress – Silver). Who is the most most popular (Gold). Like the toothpaste – it gets in.

The only worthy recipient of the Gold Logie that I can remember was Norman Gunston in 1976 – and he wasn’t a real person, he was an actor playing a role. Now there’s a postmodern moment.

It’s a bit of a waste of a night, really. The whole four hours (including the “real” ads).

This is an industry that spends so much of its time naval-gazing, congratulating itself about its achievements, that it is slowly, but surely, becoming irrelevant. The industry is struggling to come to terms with new media, and struggling to adapt the interuptive broadcast model that has served them so well since the inception of TV.

Instead of watching the show of promos, maybe change the channel, or watch this (at least, just think about it). You could even turn of the TV and talk to someone nearby.

Who knows, you might enjoy yourself. Without the ads.

// Diploma Modismos Locales.

Al final de tu curso obtenés un diploma que certificará el nivel de lunfardo porteño que conseguiste. Somos el único podcast respaldado por más de 90 Ministerios de Educación en todo el mundo. 

Licensiatura en Lunfardo Porteño

Terminan nuestros cursos de verano, y les regalamos a todos nuestros alumnos a distancia, los modismos locales más destacados entre las letras H y Z, para que nadie se quede a mitad de camino en caso de visitar Buenos Aires, ya sea que el motivo fuese negocios o placer.

Hinchabolas, hinchaguindas, hinchapelotas, imbancable, rompebolas: Cargoso, fastidioso, molesto.

Huesuda: Muerte.

Huevos, kinotos: Testículos.

Incendiar, incinerar, quemar: Desprestigiar, denigrar, desacreditar.

Indiada: Pandilla.

Joda: Broma, mofa, fiesta.

Jonca: Ataúd.

Jovato: Viejo.

Kaput: Acto final, terminación.

Labia: Facilidad para dialogar.

Laburo: Trabajo.

Leche, ojete, orto: Suerte.

Levante: Reprimenda, conquista amorosa.

Liebre, correr la: Padecer de hambre.

Lienzos, lompas, talompa: Pantalones.

Limones: Senos.

Llantas: Zapatos.

Marcha atrás, morfón: Invertido, gay.

Melenudo: Pelilargo, desgreñado.

Metejón: Cariño, pasión, amor.

Mita’ y mita’, Miti miti, vamo’ y vamo’: Por mitades, división en partes iguales.

Molde, en el: Quieto.

Montoto, zutano, mengano: Personaje inexistente utilizado en el lenguaje popular.

Muzarela: Silencio.

Napia, naso, ñata, sifón: Nariz.

Naranja: Nada.

Olivo, dar el: Despedir, Echar.

Piantao: Loco, demente.

Pirao: Insano.

Quinta del ñato: Cementerio.

Rasca, rascabuche, zaparrastroso: Andrajoso, indigente.

Raviol: Sobre con cocaína.

Remos, tabas: Piernas.

Revire: Locura.

Rolete, a: Mucho, en cantidad.

Rula: Ruleta.

Se armó la Gorda: Enojo.

Segurola: Seguro, exacto.

Sensa: Sin.

Sobre: Cama.

Socotroco: Puñetazo.

Sorete: Hombre de poco valor moral, miedo.

Torta, tortillera, bombero: Lesbiana.

Upite, totó, tortero: Asentaderas, trasero.

Velas: Mocos.

Viola: Guitarra.

Viorsi: Baño.

Yeyatore: Tipo de mal agüero.

Yunta: Pareja, compañía.

Zafar: Escapar, librarse. 

Modismos Locales | 010

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Realizadores y/o Colaboradores: Agustina Cupitó, Federico Nadersohn, Mariana Mansilla, Pablo Capos, Rafael Suriano y Rodrigo Ramos.

LIFE IN THE SUGAR ESTATE

Excerpts from “Reminiscences of My Story”.

It was at Port Mourant that I got to know about life in a Sugar Estate, because I lived and taught there.  At that time, housing was better there in the Corentyne than in Demerara. There were no logies (mudfloored houses enclosed with zinc sheets, which was worse than the stables which housed the mules) but small two-roomed cottages on three-foot blocks.  At the crow of the cock,  at about 4 a.m., which was an accurate timepiece,  the women would arise.  They had no alarm clocks, so they depended on the rooster which is invariably correct as Guyana (British Guiana then) is a tropical country, near to the equator where the days and nights are equally long.  The first cock-crow is at 11 p.m. and signals that all are in bed, except for the vagrant, the thief or the policeman who is on duty.

So at 4 a.m. at a signal from the roosters the women would arise and there would be a hive of activity.  You could see rows of oil lamps in the cottages and hear the winnowing fan as the women prepared the food that they will eat for breakfast and take with them to the sugarcane fields for lunch.  Their food was monotonous; rice or roti (flat pancake made from flour, baking soda and salt) with daal (lentil soup) and curried vegetables,  potatoes, boulangers or pumpkin.  Whatever was cooked was placed in one container, a tin saucepan and this became cold before it was ready to be eaten.  Formerly the workers did not carry water but drank the black, fresh water from the drainage and irrigation canals.   At Port Mourant, the workers were provided with impervious canvas bottles for storing  potable drinking water.

By 6 a.m the workers were ready to catch the open Locomotive,  formerly they had to walk, sometimes a distance of three or more miles, which took them to their work place.   They then had to cross over the canals to get to the fields.  Flat-bottomed vessels were provided for this purpose, but formerly men and women had to wade through the water which was sometimes chest high to get to the other side.

In those days, the lot of the worker was hard.  They worked throughout the day in the burning sun, with a brief pause at mid day to eat their lunch, which has got cold, and take a little rest under the shade of a tree.  Then they were goaded on to work by ‘drivers’,  men selected from the workers who demanded  ”the pound of flesh” for their white masters, the managers and overseers of the plantations.  Sometimes for favours, these men would recruit women for the overseers who were young unmarried men.  Fortunately, because of the religious and social traditions of the immigrants, this was not too common.  There are very few Eurasians as compared to Mulattoes.

After a hard day’s work, the workers would catch the locomotive and return home.  Formerly the workers had to walk, sometimes as far as three or more miles, the women singing along the way drumming on their saucepans and the men tinkling their cutlasses with their files to relieve the strain of the long journey.  Reaching home, it was a bath and relaxation for the men, but the women had to cook the dinner and clean up the house.  After dinner, it was early bed;  or the men would spend a little time with their friends listening to the Ramayan which told of the exploits of their favourite Incarnation, Lord Rama, his consort Sita, and Hanuman, Lord Rama’s greatest devotee.  It was the Ramayan, chiefly, that sustained the spirit of the immigrants and gave them the fortitude to carry on in such a harsh environment.

Randall Butisingh

Flickr photo by pappalicious.

Dear Reader,

I’m sure that you enjoy the Logies as much as i do.

They are a precious moment, pregnant with meaning, in which the Australian TV industry gets to award a select few of its members for being best at what they do.

It is ironic – isn’t it? – that, of all the industries that there are in the world, the only one that gets to televise its self-congratulatory wankfest is the television industry itself.

Oh, and the movie industry.

The Gold Widget

In the widget industry we have a similar event, the Gold Widget, in which the best reality widget, best new widget talent, and best lifestyle widget all get awarded to the widgeteers who have done best in those fields.

I myself have never won a Gold Widget, but i did win a door prize one year. I got a Palm Pilot, which is like an address book in a calculator that keeps going flat and losing all your addresses.

What ain’t we got?

The confounding disconnect at the heart of the Logies is that integral to the whole shebang there is this wet-mouthed celebration of female flesh – the Red Carpet – but no actual award for the Sexiest Female on TV.

This is a clear oversight, but one that i can fix, dear Reader.

Here, then, are the contenders for this year’s Pink Logie.

And the nominees are…

Puffin Muffins

You may know her as the iSelect girl, the one who is always telling us that we’d be ‘puffin muffins’, ‘cuddling kookaburras’, or ‘rattlin rhinos’ to buy our health insurance any other way than via the somewhat dubious-sounding online process that iSelect offers.

Puffin (real name unknown, to me, at least) has clearly found that her evocations of bizarre verbs befalling random animals has begun to become a little tired, so she has moved on to sexual double entendres.

In one recent ad, she is skimping about in her night attire, mumbling something about getting covered. Because she’s almost naked, get it?

But the ad that wins her the nomination is the one in which everything is going up. You know, prices, her chair, an enormous phallus cactus.

The penile imagery aside, you would have to admit, dear Reader, that when her chair lifts her up from behind her desk, she reveals to us what has to be quite the nicest legs on TV.

Imagine how she’d fare in this category if she showed us her muffin!

K-Mart Backpacker at Window Girl

Lucky to be included in this category as her run on our screens was quite short, K-Mart Backpacker at Window Girl appeared in an ad for underwear at K-Mart during possibly March and possibly April… it’s a blur.

The ad featured a whole village of ppl dressed only in underwear, complemented with the odd accessory.

Our nominee here was wearing a backpack, a hat, and peering in a shop window.

What gets her a nomination berth here is that fact that in the course of raising herself up on one leg to look in the shop window, she puts on display for the viewers what we used to call at my high school “a three inch gap”.

I blush somewhat to admit now, dear Reader, that when i first heard that term as an adolescent, i thought it had something to do with the shape of a girl’s cleavage.

Marieke Hardy

Smart is the new black when it comes to sexy, and Marieke has smart down pat.

She writes for the Green Guide, penning by word processor a weekly cynical excursion through the tv landscape from the perspective of a Gen Xer, and she also appears (audibly) on Triple J as a morning presenter, in which she is… cynical.

And smart.

She also has an erotic fiction tribute website that you can read at your peril, but that is not why she’s here.

It is for her appearance on First Tuesday Bookclub that she earns this nomination.

Any young woman who uses the book that she’s reading at that moment to keep all her bills and correspondence in, like a portable briefcase, definitely earns a nomination for the Pink Logie while i’m running the contest, let me tell you.

Jols Belly Girl

It’s not a new ad, but its return to our screens has re-ignited for many the love affair with the belly of the Jols girl.

You know the ad: there’s this incredibly wholesome pair of girls in what appears to be a library. One takes out something from a packet that she keeps in a pocket that gives the camera an excuse to zoom in on her tummy. Then there’s a vacuous discussion about Jols not being a mint, and the other girl ends the ad by saying, “Jols, Baby!”.

Well, the girl with the belly gets a nomination, because you can’t go wrong on Australian TV with a pretty tummy.

And the winner is…

The Australian TV viewing public, clearly.

Interestingly, the girls in the Bonds ads didn’t get nominations here, despite the fact that there is not much more sexiest than a bunch of incredibly fit young women with pony tails doing formation dance routines in their underwear.

Go figure.

I blame TV Week.

Yours,
Gullybogan