Obviously you must spend time alone to do the work that is necessary for you to be the person your partner can enjoy being with. However, you must also plan to spend time together.

The keyword here is “plan.” Stand by your plan. Keep your commitment to be with your partner.

Make a collective effort to be together. Work as a team. Together everyone accomplishes more.

Copyright © 2009 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” There are more than 750 pages of great relationship information on Larry’s Website. Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

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Today is part four of a five-part post regarding the impact a Leadership Development Bootcamp had on my life last week.

We have already discovered how God uses a variety of people, how we need a coach and some mentors and also how a vision needs to be God sized and given time to grow.

Today I want to focus on the people around you, so here’s part 4:

4. You Can’t Go it Alone

We all know there is no such person as Superman! Sometimes I wish I was Superman and sometimes I act like I think I’m Superman. You see I have a little problem that many Pastors and Leaders have. I think I can handle everything myself and do everything myself. The problem I have found is that if I try to do everything myself then I end up doing nothing!

Yesterday we talked about having God Sized visions. Well if your vision is God Sized then you are not equipped to pursue it by yourself.

Last week we did a few different personality tests. One particular test was called the DISC test. I won’t go into the details of the test but each letter stands for a type of personality and each personality is needed in a team and organization. I discovered last week I am a high ‘I’ and a pretty high ‘D’. I also have some ‘C’ in me but I have no ‘S’ what so ever. In layman’s terms, I have energy, direction, I like the details somewhat and I am a little impulsive, but without ‘S’ I am a little shallow and I don’t have the time for people as what I should.

I discovered more than anytime in my life  last week that for me to pursue the God Sized vision I have that I need a lot of ‘S’ people, many ‘C’ people and a few ‘D’ people to come alongside me and partner with me on the way. Basically saying, I can’t do it alone!

You maybe pursuing this life all by yourself. If you do that you probably will not get very far. You need the help and partnership of others along the way. Don’t be a ‘Lone Ranger’! Western movies are not fashionable anymore and John Wayne characters will never get anywhere in the 21st century.

Who do you need to help you pursue your God Sized vision? Find them, invest in them and empower them! You may just be surprised one day to find that dream become a reality.

Aaaaaaalll byyyyyy myyyyyseeeeeeeeeeeelf....

Now tis Kate’s turn to abandon me – she has swanned off to London town for a few days, whilst I remain in sunny Wales! Boo. But! This week we will be bringing you a few more Halloweeny things, and I will be working on the first of our Christmas madcap ideas – i.e. I’m designing my own invite to a Christmas party. It’s not that interesting if you don’t think of it as “madcap” – but the point is I’m basically a loon when it comes to graphics, so if I can do it, so can you. Much to look forward to on the blog this winter – keep your comments coming!

Much love,

Lone Blog Ranger x

It’s taken me an inordinate amount of time to write this.  Mostly because I’ve been busily engaged in the random tasks of the Lone Ranger.  My beloved flatmate moved out 6 weeks ago, lured Southwards by the promise of a fulfilling job and a better climate and since then I have nurtured a new regime; The Non-Routine.

I’ve found myself a little bereft of reason to do the normal things at the normal time.  After years and years of living in shared accommodation I’ve always been alert to the Free Kitchen or Free Shower, scheduling my days according to best fitting in the necessary daily duties (washing, eating, laundry etc) with the precious moments the required appliances are free.  Now they’re all free.  All the time.

The weirdest part is the wandering.  Constant wandering.  I’m like an old Labrador, wandering from room to room looking longingly for flatmate…maybe if I check the bathroom again she’ll be there?

Don’t get me wrong – don’t worry too much about me.  I’m fine, really.  And I was quite looking forward to living alone.  However, it’s only in this lone living I realise one of my main motivations is not myself but others.  I’m independent, self-sufficient in most things, yes.  But you know what?  It’s so nice to have someone here who appreciates a nice cup of tea when you fancy making one.  I know the numerous, the plentiful downsides to living with a non-family, non-partner person.  But that’s another blog, non?

I’m on Gumtree.  Bring on the flatmates of the future.  Bring on tea, Jaffa cakes and shared wine and woes.  Bring on talking til 1am about absolutely nothing.  Bring on waiting for ages to get in the bathroom in the morning and then finding flatmate has surreptitiously cleaned it.  Bring on someone else to take out the rubbish and recycling.  Bring on someone to get you a lemsip and put up with another episode of Friends, just because you’re ill.  And bring on meeting, sharing and being inspired by another person.

Hi there! I’m still waiting to hear from you regarding your fitness goals. There’s a whole lot of inspiration to be gained from a support group. So why not get in on it and grab some for yourself? It’s free! Often times, working alone can be discouraging. On the other hand, success rates are known to improve when we keep company with likeminded people. So let me sound out the invitation once again:

Join the Get Fit Challenge!

Decide on some steps you can take to improve your fitness level between now and December 31^st this year. Set 2 or 3 goals from these and send them to me via email. When you do this you automatically join my Get Fit support group.

Benefits include:

(1)    Accountability (helping you keep your word to yourself),

(2)    Inspiration from other members,

(3)    Success tips via email,

(4)    One free email coaching session on your goals,

And more coming up!

How to join: Email me your goals. Find contact details here.

Hope to hear from you soon!

*********************************

My journey so far!

In my last post I listed my 3 new and 2 old fitness goals.

(See my goals here:  http://zestwithoma.wordpress.com/2009/10/05/the-get-fit-challenge/ )

I did quite well actually (she would say that, wouldn’t she!). Got my 30 minute walks daily, sometimes exceeding 30 minutes, halved my portion size, at least most of the time (“wink!” ) and had no sweets and chocolates. However, I didn’t do any indoor aerobics (groan!) and occasionally binged with the biscuits! Phew, confession done!

What did I learn?

(a) Reporting back to you kept me accountable. Even though I didn’t do well with some of my goals, the ones I did keep were partly due to this accountability. I couldn’t come back and tell you I failed all through, could I?!

(b)   To stay focused on my commitment, not my goal. To this end I’ll be doing things to raise my commitment in the next 2 weeks. Such as posting notes around the house reminding me to stay committed, also with inspiring quotes; scheduling my fitness activities on my calendar (they stayed in my head, where they got forgotten!), asking a friend to be my fitness buddy.

(c)    It’s not over just because you had a bad week, or two. You can start again, go back to the drawing board to re-plan your strategy, as I’ve done, find out what does work since you now know what doesn’t, and simply renew your commitment.

(d)   Writing greatly improves the success rate. I’ve taken the first step by posting my goals here. The next step I’ll take is to keep a fitness journal where I’ll log my daily goals, plans, successes and failures. I think I’ll also write down any inspirational quotes I can find. A journal can help you stay focused, keep your goals top of mind, encourage you on not-so-good days when you review your progress and help you keep track of what works for you and what doesn’t.

(e)   Playing the Lone Ranger won’t work for me here! In some areas of my life, lone ranger-ing works just fine, but certainly not when I’m trying to get back onto an exercise routine. So for now, all my aerobics will be done at the gym. Except for walking of course, which I love, and occasionally even do in my sleep!

I’d love to hear how you think I’ve done so far. What could I have done better? What works well for you? Do send in your tips.

That’s it for now folks! It’s your turn next. Email me your goals and access all the great benefits of a support group.

Wishing you health and wellness,

Oma

There has been lots of news on the Michel Gondry directed Green Hornet film. Seth Rogen stars as the crime fighter aided by Jay Chou as Kato.

Now Dynamite Entertainment kicked off the 2009 Baltimore Comic-Con this weekend with the announcement of Green Hornet: Year One from writer/cover artist Matt Wagner and interior artist Aaron Campbell.

Publisher Nick Barrucci spoke with CBR about Matt Wagner’s involvement on the project. “He loves the Green Hornet, loves the original Britt Reid, and once we got into the conversation, he was really hyped about doing the origin story. It’s just a perfect marriage. You’ve got one of the most respected creators in comics writing one of the most classic characters in comics. It’s fantastic, and it’s a ‘Year One’ story like you’ve never seen before. Matt has been really incredible at nailing the essence of the character while still making it accessible to a modern audience. He’s fantastic.”

Campbell was last seen penciling Dynamite’s “The Trial of Sherlock Holmes,” and Barrucci noted, “Matt really enjoyed his artwork on that series, and they compliment each other so well. It’s definitely going to be a great, gritty style. Not over the top gritty, but it’s going to have enough of the elements of the original Green Hornet while, again, still making it cool for a modern audience.”

One thing that won’t be modern per se is the setting as “Year One” will remain a period piece set in the 1930s when the character was invented by radio writer Fran Striker, and will feature original crime-busting pair Britt Reid and Kato. “Without getting too far into it, you’re going to find out how they found each other, and you’re going to have some nice Easter Eggs in there.”

Maybe they will build on the links the Green Hornet has with the Lone Ranger. We will have to wait and see.

The alternate cover is by Alex Ross (as if you needed telling).

Escena de El Llanero Solitario

En la década de los treintas, surgió un estilo bastante particular dentro de la cinematografía: El serial. Estos eran capítulos de 15 a 30 minutos – variable según las necesidades – que se proyectaban antes de la película principal. En 1938, Republic Pictures eligiría a uno de los clásicos de la radio de esos años, el Llanero Solitario, para realizar uno de ellos. Esta versión se compondría de 15 episodios, que llegaron a ser tan buscados, que muchos espectadores acudían al cine y abandonaban la sala una vez concluido el capítulo. Uno de los detalles interesantes es que, a lo largo de la trama, existieron cinco personajes que pudieron ser el Llanero, pero al final, nunca se aclaró quien de ellos lo era. Y dado que, en diversos momentos, los cinco actores realizaron la caracterización, oficialmente nunca hubo un protagonista.

En 1940, los quince capítulos se reunieron y editaron en una sola cinta, que se exhibió como The Lone Ranger, y que fue uno de los grandes éxitos de taquilla de aquellos años.

Si bien la versión original se perdió desde hace años, existe una con subtítulos en español, y otros capítulos sueltos doblados al francés, que son los que actualmente pueden verse, y con los que ha sido posible saber los detalles del mismo.

One of the greatest days of our summers was when the man came around with the pony on which we’d have our pictures taken. I think most children of the 1950’s have a picture like this. One of my friends in Massachusetts has an identical photo.

My brother and I both had our pictures taken the same day, but the man had shown up for a couple of years before my parents succumbed to our pleas. There may have been crying involved. I’m sure PETA would be up in arms if something like this went on today, but I’m glad I was around when it happened.

In the 1950’s television was loaded with cowboy shows like the Roy Rogers and Dale Evans Show, the Gene Autry Show, the Cisco Kid, Hopalong Cassidy, and my favorite the Lone Ranger. Some of the shows, like those featuring Hoppy and his horse Topper, were condensed from old B-Western films and shown on television. A Los Angeles station even had a special “Hoppy Night” just for William Boyd’s Hopalong Cassidy movies.

We never wondered about why none of our heroes – except Rogers – had homes. They just rambled around the Old West solving problems, precursors to Bill Bixby in the Incredible Hulk, Michael Landon in Highway to Heaven, and Scott Bakula in Quantum Leap.

I once went to a film festival that showed the very first episode of the Lone Ranger. He was “lone” because he was on patrol with other Texas Rangers when they were ambushed. That’s right. I said ambushed. A passing Indian rescued him and brought him back to health, in the process becoming his faithful Indian companion Tonto. I don’t recall why he felt compelled to wear the bandit’s mask, but the Lone Range and Tonto hunted down the bad guys who’d killed the other rangers and dispatched them. In one scene the Lone Ranger tells Tonto to go draw their fire while he stays behind a big rock. Not one of the ranger’s most heroic moments, to be sure.

To be honest, the Cisco Kid was my least favorite character. Just as I didn’t care for the bumbling sidekick Pat on Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, I couldn’t stand Pancho. Even Gabby Hayes didn’t come across as stupid. I saw no reason a smart, brave guy like Cisco would keep Pancho around. I’ve heard that Cisco was very popular with Latino kids, which makes sense, but I would think Pancho would be embarrassing.

I never missed an episode of Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, and even now will stop to watch an old Roy Rogers movie. I loved the way Roy crouched low on Trigger’s back to go faster, but apparently he never told Dale his speed trick. As I said earlier, I didn’t care for the bumbling Pat Brady or his Jeep Nellybelle. In fact, I wasn’t a big fan of Bullet either. There were just too many characters to worry about.

Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels kept it simple. The Lone Ranger, Tonto, Silver, and Scout. Little minds like mine couldn’t embrace the horde of characters at the Double R Bar Ranch where Roy and Dale lived.

Like Rogers, Clayton Moore’s Lone Ranger had strict rules. For example, he never drank or smoked. Bar scenes were changed to cafe scenes with waiters. He also never shot to kill, but only to disarm, was never seen without his mask, and always spoke clearly with perfect grammar and without use of slang. Bad guys were usually referred to with one name, preferably a nickname, to avoid association with minorities.

One thing all of the cowboys had in common was the clear cut difference between good and evil. Dark hats and non-descript horses made it easy to pick out the bad guys.The bad guys were driven primarily by greed – they wanted someone’s farm or their water or their money. S-e-x was non-existent.

Women, of course, were depicted as saloon girls, school marms, wives bustling along the wooden sidewalks, or victims. In that area, Dale Evans stands alone. She and Buttermilk faced many dangers – and she did it without riding side saddle.

It was nice to grow up in the time before movies and television felt compelled to show every detail – blood, vomit, bruises, whatever. In that world, no one ever had to stop to go to the bathroom or eat regular meals or drink 64 oz of water every day. They didn’t worry about how many carbs they ate or if anything had transfat or preservatives. They didn’t care if their jeans made them look fat.

(c) 2009 jgschenck

In 1950 bread cost 12 cents a loaf. Given the way products shrink on supermarket shelves today, odds are that loaf was much bigger back then too. And, do you remember when supersized candy bars cost a nickel? Nowadays you pay 10 or more times that for downsized candy bars so measly you can devour them with a few bites, and you pray the bars don’t shrink, or get price hikes, before you make it to the check out lane.

And do you remember when the average cost of a new car was $1,750 and gas cost 27 cents a gallon? Is it me, or did cars back then seen more solid and sturdier, like the celebrated Hudson Hornet?

And whatever happened to: “A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty “Hi-yo, Silver!”?

Ever feel like him in today’s high-speed world? Cell phones ringing everywhere, machines answering phones instead of people, families living hundreds of miles apart, drugs destroying children’s futures, shootings in schools and churches, not to mention the shrinking products and increasing prices.

God, I wish bread cost 12 cents a loaf again.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.   After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, ‘Kimosabe, look towards sky; what you see?’

The Lone Ranger replies, ‘I see millions of stars.’

‘What that tell you?’ asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, ‘Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all powerful, and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Tonto?’

‘You dumber than buffalo shit. Someone stole tent.’

The always excellent Latino Review have managed to get a look at a script for The Lone Ranger written by Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio.

Jerry Bruckheimer recently said at the Licensing International Expo that development on the film was going full steam ahead, but all we really know is that Johnny Depp is Tonto and Mike Newell may be directing it.

As for the Ranger himself, Matthew McConaughey is rumoured to be the favourite, but I am still not sure if that would work. Anyway, below is the script review and it sounds as if things could be serious on this one.

A Note from Vicki:  If you would like to listen to the show described in the below post, click here.  The show is made available by otrcat.com.
 

Ex-Bandit Sues Radio Program
September 9, 1944

LOS ANGELES—Eighty-year-old Al Jennings doesn’t deny he was a pretty bad character in the wild, raw days of the old southwest but, he insisted in a suit filed yesterday, he never was as bad as “The Lone Ranger” radio program allegedly depicted him last Aug. 7.

Jennings, the train robber who turned evangelist, writer and lecturer after he was pardoned by President Roosevelt in 1905 for his misdeeds, demanded $100,000 in actual and exemplary damages from the Don Lee Broadcasting company and the Weber Baking company, sponsor of the program.

Jennings, who recently has been a technical adviser for motion pictures, alleged the program attributed to him certain crimes which he didn’t commit.  Also, he asserted, he was portrayed as attempting to induce a young man to join his band of train robbers which, he asserted, he never did.

Jennings claimed the program has seriously damaged the reputation he has built up since he was freed from prison early in the century.

St. Petersburg Times

El antiguo blog I love Comix se renueva en forma de Web con un archivo impresionante del cómic de prensa norteamericano. Destacamos y ordenamos por cantidad los siguientes escaneados:

• 3168 de Gasoline Alley (toma castaña)
• 2254 de Brick Bradford (para perderse)
• 2034 de Lone Ranger (aka: El llanero solitario)
• 952 de Conan (la tira de Roy Thomas)
• 882 de Modesty Blaise (más de una va a disfrutar esto)
• 734 de Pogo (creanme, impresionantes)
• 641 de Batman (las tiras, entiéndase)
• 623 de Alley Oop (pedazo de serie)
• 404 de Little Nemo (han leído bien)
• 300 de Buck Rogers
• 153 de The Phantom (aka El hombre enmascarado)
• 60 de Flash Gordon
• 60 de Tiny Tim (nada fácil de encontrar, todo esto)
• 40 de Mandrake the Magician
• 20 de Rip Kirby
• 18 de The Captain and the Kids (me encanta esta gran serie de Rudolph Dirks)
• 6 de Little Jimmy (del precursor James Swinnerton)

Gabriel Corbera ya se había hecho eco en su momento del blog destacando esta maravillosa tira de Dick Tracy:

Via: The Comics Reporter

Rymden är i hetluften just nu. Vår svenske ingenjörshjälte Christer Fuglesang gjorde inatt sin första av två planerade rymdpromenader. Och medierapporteringen är massiv.

I reggaevärlden har man naturligtvis varit i rymden och vänt flera gånger redan. I alla fall på skivomslagen.

Skivomslagen i reggaevärlden kan grovt delas in i fem kategorier. Vi har de religiösa, de sexistiska, de porträtterande och de gräshyllande. Sedan har vi ju förstås rymdomslagen.

Rymdomslagen är – kanske självklart – alltid tecknade och visar ofta artisten eller gruppen som hjälte/hjältar eller något annat tappert.

Vad rymdfascinationen beror på är svårt att svara på. Kanske ligger tjusningen i att rymden är relativt okänt territorium? Kanske beror det på de rymdfilmer som producerades under 60- och 70-talen och som satte sina avtryck.

Under 80-talet var det högsäsong på rymdomslag, och kända namn som Lone Ranger, Mikey Dread och Prince Far I hakade alla på trenden med plattorna Badda Dan Dem,

Dread at the Controls

respektive Cry Tuff – Dub Encounter Chapter III.

Men bakom min favorit döljer sig ett skivomslag signerat formgivaren Tony McDermott. Hans tecknade skivomslag till plattan Scientist Meets the Space Invaders från 1981 är fenomenalt – den vinnande faktorn är nog de små Pacman-figurerna som anfaller Scientist i sin superhjälteuniform.

Scientist möter på sin platta rymdskurkarna. Prince Jammy däremot, förgör dem året efter Scientist på skivan Prince Jammy Destroys the Space Invaders. Även om titlarna påminner om varandra, så är skivomslagen rätt olika, även om dataspelskopplingen är tydlig.

På den tredje rymdplattan signerad Scientist och Jammy gör de gemensam sak och slår tillbaka. Albumet Scientist and Jammy Strike Back! har ett skivomslag med tydlig parafras till Star Wars-filmerna.

Även på vår sida Atlanten fattade man tycke för rymden. Brittiska Tradition gjorde plattan Captain Ganja and The Space Patrol där man utforskar rymden i en hyperteknisk farkost.

I’ve actually gotten an awful lot of work done this week, so I thought I’d share it with you. In addition to the new chapter of Lost in Silver (the book is almost over, so those of you who told me you’re waiting for the end to read it all at once, get ready), I’ve gotten many, many pages written of my newest project, still untitled. I can’t say exactly how much, however, because it’s all been written longhand, during moments I’ve managed to steal during the day. I don’t know why, but I often find I work better if I do my first draft longhand.

Also longhand, I’ve done work on A Long November and Other Stories. I’ve written an introduction for the eBook, as well as notes on each of the nine stories it will contain. It was actually a lot of fun to write, it was like visiting old friends again. (That reminds me — if my sister is reading, I still want to do that Bixby series some day. He shows up in the Christmas stories and I miss those characters, damn it.)

And finally, I’ve been reviewing up a storm. Here are the reviews I’ve tossed out there since the last time I updated you guys:

• Astro City: The Dark Age Book Three #4
• Billy Batson and the Magic of Shazam #6
• Fables #87
  
• Final Crisis Aftermath: Ink #3
• Hack/Slash #24
• The Muppet Show: The Treasure of Peg Leg Wilson #1
• North 40 #2
• Power Girl #4
  
• The Red Circle: Inferno #1
• Secret Six #12
  
• Superman #690
• Superman Annual #14
  
• Superman Secret Files 2009
• Superman/Batman #63
  
• Wednesday Comics #3
• Done In One Reviews for July 25: In which I review Archie #599, Atomic Robo: Shadow From Beyond Time #3, Cars: The Rookie #4, Doctor Who: Room With a Deja View #1, Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash: The Nightmare Warriors #2, G.I. Joe #7, Gemini #4, The Spirit #31 & Tiny Titans #18
• Done in One Reviews for August 1: In which I review Batman: The Brave and the Bold #7, Jack of Fables #36, Last Days of Animal Man #3, The Lone Ranger #17 & Toy Story: Mysterious Stranger #3
• Done in One Reviews for August 8: In which I review Chew #3, Dynamo 5 #23, Finding Nemo: Reef Rescue #2, House of Mystery #16, Jonah Hex #46, The Mighty #7, Muppet Robin Hood #3 & The Spirit #32
• Done in One Reviews for August 15: In which I review G.I. Joe #8, G-Man: Cape Crisis #1, Love and Capes #11, PS 238 #40, Toy Story: Mysterious Stranger #4 & The Walking Dead #64
• Done in One Reviews for August 22: In which I review Archie #600, Atomic Robo: Shadow From Beyond Time #4, Doctor Who #2, Jack of Fables #37, Monsters Inc.: Laugh Factory #1, The Stand: American Nightmares #5, Tiny Titans #19 & Zorro #15

Look to the skies…

Hey kids. Got the results back from the SA yesterday afternoon, but I needed a few hours break and a good nights sleep before I could tell you about it.

Unlike every TV episode or movie, this time, there was no catchy theme tune and no galloping Lone Ranger appearing at the last minute to heroically save the day…lazy git obviously had something better to do…

The results came back saying zero sperm..no swimmers whatsoever – not even a one legged aquaphobic doing doggy paddle in the shallow end..nada, nichts, zip.

This wasn’t unexpected…its what the previous SA said, but it still broke me…

Fortunately, your poor mom had to go out for a while (taking nan to the chiropractor), which meant I could crawl into bed and sob myself to sleep. Son, ignore what anyone else says – its okay to cry, its better than keeping it all in, because guys who do that become bitter and aggressive with a tendency to hurt people, physically and emotionally, and the more you deny your feelings, the less likely you are to really know what you feel…I’m not saying you need to be a red-eyed pansy, continually snorting into a pocket full of Kleenex, but when you feel the urge…let it all out. I know this helps…I did it yesterday, on my own and in the privacy of my bedroom (there are a few things in life it’s best to handle this way…but that’s another subject)…and I feel better already.

You see, unless the fertility specialist we’re meeting next Friday has some sort of indication on what the chances are of my producing viable sperm with treatment, we’re set on going down the sperm donor route. We only have these two options if your mom is going to fall pregnant.

The first option is a daily injection of the hormones that a ‘normal’ pituitary gland produces. The thinking behind this is to try and kickstart my testes into developing sperm. My darling daughter, you need to know that as a guy it hurts even to see the words ‘kick’ and ‘testes’ in the same sentence – don’t ever be tempted to hit or kick a guy there, it’s the worst of the worst. Unless of course the guys attacking you or something – if that’s the case, give them the old Naas Botha or the Francios Steyn, and when he’s down, do the Riverdance on them for all you’re worth. But sorry, I digress. The problem with this treatment option (besides the cost and having to have an injection into my backside every single day) is they have absolutely no way of knowing firstly if it will work, or secondly how long it will take if it does work…it could take a year, or two years, or I could be on it for two years and nothing has happened. And this is the crux of the problem…it may not work and they can’t give us even a rough steer on the percentages. I don’t want you thinking that its the cost – we’d find the money, or that it’s the inconvenience of a daily injection – I’d buy your mother a little nurses outfit and then there’s no hesitation…its the odds…they’re lousy, they’re crappy, worst of all, no-one can tell us what they really are.

So, it looks like we’re hunting for a sperm donor. We need a new hero to come to our rescue. This opens up a whole new flood of questions/issues/thoughts and feelings, and over the next few weeks, we can chat about them…but for now, know that I’m devastated that you guys aren’t mine in the purely genetic sense, but know that it doesn’t mean I love you any less – it may be the opposite in fact – you’re a gift that someone else has made possible, and often the things someone gives you are more valuable to you than the things you’ve bought yourself…

I think we need a name for this sperm donor…I though about calling him the Lone Stranger, but I’ve gone off that after the Lone Ranger proved to be so flipping unreliable…so, another masked hero, someone heroic/handsome/ manly/ kind/brave/reliable and guaranteed to show up in a crisis…I think we’ll call him Zorro!

In the UK, there’s a term that I heard people use when they’re scared witless…they say they’re “bricking it”…now I’m not 100% sure where this term originated (I’ll try and find out), but it always seemed to me to be a slightly more polite way of saying “I’m shitting bricks!”…another wonderful phrase to express being scared stiff…

So, basically, the way I feel this morning, I could be building an extension on the house!

Kids, as you know, I had my SA yesterday. We weren’t expecting to be able to get any results till next Friday (8 days later) when we next visit the fertility clinic…but yesterday, as I was about to leave, Miss Gorgeous Lab Technician said that she’d have the results to the nurse by tomorrow afternoon (today now)……….The results from this SA will determine our POA (plan of action – one of the less confusing but more common acronyms used in the infertility world). But, more importantly, this will determine whether we try to have you guys using my genetic material, or whether we go straight down the sperm donor route…so it sort of feels like THIS IS IT…will I be your daddy 100%, or will some anonymous guy be part of you.

I don’t want you to think that I have reservations about using donor sperm – if that’s what we have to do to have you guys, then I’ll do it happily…hell I’ll give the guy a hand if he needs it…WHATEVER IT TAKES!! But, there’s this part of me that’s desperate for you to be 100% mine…

So, your mom will call the nurse sometime this afternoon to get the answer that affects everything from here on out.

She has to make the call for a couple of reasons:

1. I hate telephones – something to do with working in a call centre for a few years, and
2. in a lot of ways your mother’s so much stronger than I am – she likes to face things head on, with all the information and a carefully laid out plan of attack

She’s not working today (not working most Friday’s at the moment) so the two of us have been sitting in the home office since early this morning, surfing the web, emailing, posting on the Fertilicare forum, checking out the odd bit of porn (but maybe that was just me), whatever, but sitting here, together but apart, willing away the hours, not really speaking, thinking our separate thoughts, waiting for ‘this afternoon’ to come so that we can get the answer…Kemo Sabe, we need you!!!

So kids, the SA appointment went okay, with only one minor hiccup. But, before I get into that, I want to make a couple of observations about the fertility clinics:

1. They should not allow hot women to work in these clinics. Now my dear daughter, I don’t want you going off half cocked thinking I’m being sexist – its just that it’s not fair on us poor blokes (and Son, you’ll find that women don’t think it’s at all sexist if you’re calling them hot…only if you’re commenting on someone else – double standards I know, but that’s just the way they are!!). You’re sitting in the waiting room and some stunning 20 something with blond hair and blue eyes looking hot and super intelligent in her lab coat sticks her face round the door, calls your name and gives you a cute smile before taking you into her lab, where she then proceeds to give you instructions on masturbating into a container…and this leads me to point 2
2. They should keep the temperature in these places to a reasonable level – not make them 40°C so that your cheeks are flushed even when you’re not feeling awkward or embarrassed. I’m a big guy, it’s 10°C outside, so I’m wrapped up nice and warm (like any sensible person), I’ve just spent 15 minutes in the waiting room with staff in short sleeve tops dressed as if it’s the middle of summer , so that by the time Miss Gorgeous Lab Technician’s talking to me, I have cheeks the colour of Snow White’s poisoned apple and look as if I’m dying of embarrassment or fantasising of her providing more assistance in the sample gathering than just the sterile container – IT’S NOT COOL!!!

I mean I’d psyched myself up not to be in any way shy or awkward. I waltzed up the stairs like Gene Kelly – not a care in the world,  I sauntered up to the desk and nonchalantly told the receptionist that I was there for a semen analysis, ignoring the top secret code words they’d provided for just these circumstances - like any other person in the waiting room can’t figure out exactly what I’m there for when I rock up without my wife!!!!!!!!! (in case you’re wondering, the clever code word was a ‘Test 1′ – must have spent seconds thinking that one up).

If they were really trying to hide the obvious, they could come up with a better plan than that…they should have some hard-hats and a tool belt that you can strap on, make the secret code word “I’m here to take another look at the dripping tap in your andrology room”…that would keep people guessing!!! Or give you a clipboard and a coolerbox to carry in and say “I’m delivering the cryogenically frozen embryos for the FET procedures scheduled for today”. Hell, even “I’m the courier delivering the semen samples” which has the added bonus of actually being true! … Not “I’m here for Test 1″… EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT TEST 1 IS!!!!

But none of that mattered, because I was prepared..no way was I looking embarrassed…until I’d spent 15 minutes in the waiting room from Hell – well it was warm enough to be right next door to hades!

But, moving on, Miss Gorgeous Lab Technician shows me to the lovely little room set aside for this particular activity…it’s okay, kinda small, but hey, it’s not like Miss Gorgeous Lab Technician’s staying in there with me…it’s just me, the chair and the table with the most dog-eared, manky looking magazines you’ve ever seen. The thought goes through my mind about judging a book by it’s cover, so I pick up the top one (after I’ve closed the door and removed my winter fleecy jacket because I’m about to pass out from the heat exhaustion and that’s before I’ve even done anything) and flick through it…it’s the swimsuit edition…which is better than nothing I suppose! Now I don’t want to insinuate that the magazine was out of date or anything, but it was hand-drawn on a scroll of decaying papyrus and Miss October was Cleopatra!! This wasn’t going to be a lot of help…

But, your old man must have been a boy scout in a previous life…I’d come prepared! I sneakily snapped a few shots of your mom getting dressed this morning on my cell phone…HA who da man!! We were in business, so to speak.

I’ll skip the rest of the gory details, but this is where the one and only hiccup occurred…I’ve been so focused on this search for the Lone Ranger, that at the very moment of…urm…uh…providing the sample, shall we say, I was suddenly overwhelmed by the irresistible urge to swing my one arm in the air above my head and shout out at the top of my lungs….HI-HO SILVER, AWAY!!!!

Hi Kids. So, this is my first real post to you guys and I’m afraid you’re being thrown in at the deep end! It’s not bad parenting or tough love…it’s just timing, I’m afraid. I don’t know how old you’ll be when you read this, but it may give you some very bad images of your Dad…so if you want to skip over this one and come back to it at some other stage, that’s fine.

You see, the thing is, today I’m going for an SA…no, SA doesn’t just stand for South Africa…in this instance it stands for Semen Analysis – basically I’ll be providing the lab with a ’sample’ for them to see if I have any semen, and if I do, what sort of condition they’re in. Now the word ’semen’ seems to be something to be avoided when discussing issues with other infertiles (that’s the name they’ve chosen for themselves) – the socially accepted term seems to be ’swimmers’. So, I’ll be visiting the infertility clinic this morning to (try) and provide them with a container full of swimmers…so they can figure out the chances of me actually being able to provide my genetic material when creating you guys…but the chances aren’t good…this isn’t my first SA.

The results from the first one (from a few months ago) was zero…no swimmers. But, we took the sample to a generic pathology lab, who probably don’t do as many SA’s as the infertility clinic (and there was also a question about transportation, but that’s a whole new post!). This time, I’ll be providing the sample in ‘real-time’ so to speak, right there in the clinic…so fingers crossed for a better result.

I’m not expecting miracles…the testosterone injections I’ve been on actually inhibit swimmer production, but just really hoping that the other lab missed a few (it may after all be the ‘needle in the haystack’ type scenario). Someone on the Fertilicare forum, when talking about Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI is the acronym and you can see in this example why using the acronym is so much easier than the saying the full name) which is where they literally inject 1 swimmer right into the egg and then put the egg back into the woman, said that for this procedure, they literally only need the one sperm cell – that one Lone Ranger.

And that’s all I ask for from this SA…I don’t need to come away from this test with my dignity intact, or avoid embarrassment, or fill the cup to overflowing with 20 million Mark Spitz’s or Ian Thorpe’s…all I want is just that one Lone Ranger, because without it, I’m not gonna be your biological father and that makes me sad…not because I will love you any less, but because I want to give you everything I possibly can in this life…and the starting point for that is my genes.

About the Author:

J.R. Hauptman (pseudonym) has been a professional pilot for nearly a half century. Barely twenty years old, he began as a military pilot and for almost two years he flew combat support missions in the Viet Nam War. Upon leaving military service he was hired by a major airline and was initially based on the West Coast. His flying career was interrupted by the turmoil that racked the airline industry during the early days of deregulation. In the interim, he worked as a travel agent, a stockbroker and even trained dogs and horses. In the late nineteen-eighties, he returned to aviation, flying jet charters and air freight. He concluded his career flying corporate jets and now lives in Florida. He is completing his second work, a non-fictional social commentary and surfs every day, waves or not.

You can visit his website at http://www.caddispublishing.com/

About the Book:

More than a half-century ago, Ernie Gann authored “Fate is the Hunter” and “The High and The Mighty“. There has not been a bona fide blockbuster novel about the airline industry written by a genuine airline professional since then.

“THE TARGET; Love, Death and Airline Deregulation” by J.R. Hauptman, is set in Colorado and the Rocky Mountain West, and tells the tale of the tumultuous first years of airline deregulation and the effects it had on that industry and the people who worked there. There are many people today who believe it was, in large part, the rush to overall deregulation back then, that led directly to the economic chaos that threatens to overwhelm our entire economy today.

In the nineteen-eighties, Carlo Clemenza was known as “the most hated man” in the airline business, as described by some pundits. A dedicated corporate raider and union buster, Clemenza uses ruthless tactics to crush competing airlines and to bring airline workers to heel. His methods have earned him countless death threats, yet he struts with arrogance, surrounded by his cadre of security toughs.

Virtually thousands of pilots and other airline professionals find themselves forced to start their careers over or to find them at a sudden and complete end. The airline grapevine echoes daily with the cry, “Why doesn’t someone kill that SOB?”

Only one pilot, angered by the deaths of his friends, takes up the chase and he makes Carlo Clemenza THE TARGET! His chase will take him to the far corners of the country as he also finds himself the object of pursuit and murder. The characters merge in spectacular action and settings and the climax of the story ultimately ends in redemption.

What was the one possession you had that you were miserable without?

 I was born in 1941 and from my earliest years, I was a fan of the cowboy movies.  I was always packing a toy six-gun in the days of WW II and it was devastating when I lost my metal gun.  Because of rationing, the only replacements you could get were made of cheap pressed sawdust and the barrels would break off very easily.  If you got them wet, they would completely dissolve.  I was especially happy when the War was over and a kid could get a decent metal shootin’ iron.

What cartoon did you love to watch?

These were the days before TV, of course and we didn’t have one until I was almost a teenager.  I only saw cartoons during our weekly trip to town to see the movies.  Bugs Bunny was my favorite, I think.  Even then I think I admired his coolness in the face of danger.

What do you miss most about being a kid?

I miss growing up on the farm in that bygone era when we farmed with horses.  Farm machinery didn’t come along until the late Forties as heavy industry retooled from the wartime footing.  It was idyllic and diversified farming then; we had corn, wheat, oats, hogs and milk cows and grew most of our own food.

I remember our neighbors coming in work crews to help with threshing and putting up loose hay in the mow.  I got to ride the “rope horse” who knew his job much better than I did.

What was your least favorite age?  Why?

When I was ten, my Dad, feeling flush from his wartime profits, uprooted us from our Iowa farm.  He moved us to his home state back east where he attempted a farming method he knew nothing about and failed utterly.  In some ways, my teen years in the Fifties were sweet, but in the background there was the nagging fear that our family was failing economically and that we would be destitute.  It was only when my mother took a factory job in town that we were able to survive at all. 

What did you always want to be able to do, but were too young?

I wanted to grow up and to make my own life so I could save the family farm.  I was only able to do that after nearly ten years.  By then my Dad had died and making a living on the farm was out of the question, but I did manage to make a home for my mother.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Let’s see; I wanted to be a cowboy, a paratrooper, a pilot and maybe a rock and roll singer.  By the time I graduated from high school I had given up on the pilot dream, but the Army, Officer Candidate School and Flight School changed all that in the next two and one-half years.  Within six more years, I was an airline pilot.

Did you have any pets?  If so, what did you have?

I had a Shetland pony named Silver from the time I was five and he died in about 1968 when I was in Viet Nam.   I never was a cowboy but Silver helped me to become a horseman and we always had horses in Colorado when my daughter was young.

Do you have siblings?  Did they influence who you are today?

I had two sisters, one now deceased.  Both of them had large families and that made me want my own.  Our only daughter, Laura, has given us that large family of beautiful grandchildren and I could not wish for more.

What was your favorite class in school?

History was always my favorite class, especially early American History and that of the American West.   I am now more interested in world history and how we can find a better way to world peace and prevent the complete end of the human race.

Who was your hero and why?

The Lone Ranger was my mythical hero, but those school room portraits of George Washington planted the seeds for the hero of my lifetime.  He was extraordinarily brave in personal combat; he had the political skill and will to keep our Revolution alive for eight long years. He refused to become monarch or President for life.  He admonished us from becoming policeman for the world or involved in “foreign entanglements or intrigues;” great advice for today.

 What games did you enjoy playing in your spare time?  Would you still play them today?

I played basketball, baseball and soccer in high school.   I really enjoyed playing pond hockey in the wintertime then and I still play summer hockey with my Olde Tymer cronies here in Colorado.  I only dreamed of surfing after I saw it on TV in the Fifties.  I now surf in Florida in the winter every day it breaks.

Did you have a curfew?  What was it, and did you break it?

I don’t remember; maybe that’s why I broke it a lot back then, especially after I started driving.  A farm kid couldn’t go far without wheels.                      

What was your parents’ punishment of choice?

I think they mostly scolded me.  I can only remember my Dad spanking me once, but my Mom would spank, even when I was a preteen, usually just one well-aimed crack.

What is your favorite memory?

I think riding in the horseshow and rodeo in Coin Iowa, when I was about ten and I could handle Silver, a stallion who was real handful. 

What do you wish you could have changed about your childhood (if anything)?

I wish I could have had more guidance and examples to get a better education.  I didn’t finish my baccalaureate until I was over forty.  I had the excuse that I was too busy being an Army officer and becoming a professional pilot and having a lot of fun too!   I converted to Catholicism at the age of thirty-eight and I truly envy those who were brought up in the discipline and scholarship of Catholic education, especially those who went to Notre Dame.

Are you still trying to build your Networking business like a “Lone Ranger”?

At one point or another, we all have heard the saying ” If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself “.  Well if you want to build your business efficiently and successfully, you must erase this statement out of your brain, put it in the recycle bin, than empty the bin.  This one saying will cost you many, many hours , days and months of time, and might even break the bank.

The “Lone Ranger Mentality” is defined by many as the thought process of someone having to do everything by them self.  They must know it all and they do not need to ask for help.
The Lone Ranger is the family member who wants to set up the family holiday party, make,print and send invitations, set up the venue, make drinks, cook the food and set the table all by them self.  Something always goes wrong and ends up a mess.  The food is not done, table is not ready, and everyone is just sitting around waiting hungry……  and upset.
Now that family member does not want to set up anymore family parties because they think it is too difficult, when in fact they could have asked a couple of other family members to help.  Everything would have been completed and ready, and the person in charge would get kudos for putting on a great party.
Another example is a person who spends more time researching answers to questions than actually building business.  When you do this you are burning time.  Refer questions to resources or people that know the answer for them.

The good thing is you can give up the lone ranger mentality at any time, it is never too late.  However, it is a choice you must make, followed by development of new habits and some new ways of thinking.
*Some tips on moving from Lone Ranger to Power Networker*
* Become a team player
* Be vulnerable and ask for help
* Give up thinking that you have to be an expert
* Notice and correct when you are trying to handle everything by yourself
* Express appreciation of support and contribution
* Don’t be scared to delegate task to others

You must accept and appreciate the power of networking and your own power as a networker.  It is much easier to build a house with a team then one single person.

For more business tips visit me at http://www.chrislvaughn.com