“…One morning, leaving the apartment, he passed his roommate slumped over the kitchen table. He did not pause to check on the man. He spent his day as usual. When he returned that evening, his roommate was still slumped over the table. If he had not been dead earlier, he was now…” Here.

Each time I break
this silence to join
a conversation, I have to start 

at the beginning
again to learn
what I’ve missed since the last 

time I was human.

Here is the audio recording of Part 2 of Morrison’s Pillow.

Part 2 of Morrison’s Pillow lasts about 40 minutes, and the (.mp3) recording is about 37 MB in size.

Remember that this is a Halloween story, and as such there is an appropriate allowance of gruesome and disturbing imagery.  If you (or your kids) scare easily, please use your discretion before listening to this story.

If you haven’t already, be sure to download and listen to Part 1 of Morrison’s Pillow.

(Notes: This story is cross-posted at the Soul Food Café “Once Upon A Midnight” Halloween blog.  If you are among the deaf readers in the audience and would like to read the story, please email Jade Leone Blackwater to request a (.pdf) copy of the text of Morrison’s Pillow.)

Thanks for listening, and enjoy!

*     *     *

Morrison’s Pillow

~  Part 2  ~

CLICK HERE to Download an Audio Recording (.mp3) of PART 2 of MORRISONS PILLOW by Jade Leone Blackwater

“Morrison’s Pillow” Copyright © 2009 J. L. Blackwater

It will come as no surprise that single people are occasionally lonely. They go about their lives happy and content then seemingly out of nowhere they’re overwhelmed by the lack of a sense of connectedness that everyone else seems to share but that the solo can only observe. Such moments are rare and unpredictable, so much so that it makes sense to let you know when they are least likely to occur.

Case in point: long walks on the beach, those staples of dot com dating sites and other lonely-hearts scams. This month I have the great good fortune to be holed up on Cape Cod. The crowds are pretty much gone, and the weather is gorgeous. The National Seashore is still home to an astonishing variety of birds, and one can walk and walk along the beach with only their negligent companionship. Pure bliss. To be honest, I don’t want any other company: I walk at my own pace, skip a stone when I want to, slip a shell in my pocket without worrying about having to share, and decide for myself when I’ve walked my fill.

Case in point: dinner for one at a swanky restaurant. I travel a fair amount, and I look forward to new dining experiences. A club sandwich and cold room-service fries are not for me. Dining alone can be a sublime experience. I secure I reservation and specify the kind of table I want, dress up, show up on time, and order a drink—gin martini,very dry, very cold, up with olives. As I sip my drink, I read a book or magazine; I do not feel obliged to make friends with the wait staff, but I do pay attention to their recommendations and I do tip generously. If there are sweetbreads or fois gras on the menu, I order them (yes, sometimes both at the same meal!) and luxuriate not only in their unctuous, decadent lusciousness, but also in absence of lectures about corpulent geese or askance looks at the offal on my plate. When that plate arrives, I set aside whatever I’m reading and concentrate on the food, wholly. It may be that I’m a pisspoor multi-tasker, but I find that when I am dining out alone the meal becomes the focus of my attention and I can experience and appreciate its nuances far better than if every bite is punctuated with conversation. I have wine with dinner, and I end with coffee and dessert.

Final case in point: concerts. I want to connect with the performer or performers. I want to lose myself in the music. I do not want to listen to sotto voce real-time critiques or feel obliged to offer them myself.

So, when do I feel the chill of loneliness? When I’m smacked upside the head by “experts” who single out loners in their solitude as deviants.

********

A terrible crime was committed in New Hampshire last week: a pack of rabid boys killed a woman in her home and nearly killed her young daughter. The attack was so horrific that I’ll bet the ink is drying now on the contracts for the made-for-tv treatment of the tragedy. The setting was bucolic, the innocent victims believing themselves safe in their home, the homicidal bipedal wolverines from good families. And yet they took their knives and hacked to the death a mother and chopped away at a child.

As the news of this murder and attempted murder broke, I braced myself for the inevitable, and I didn’t have long to wait:

“Across the country, similar homicides have been carried out by teenage males who are sad and lonely”: Boston Globe, October 12. The story continues: “‘A strong sense of community is wonderful if you happen to be accepted,’ [Jack] Levin [Irving and Betty Brudnick Professor of Sociology and Criminology at Northeastern University] said. ‘But if you are regarded as an outsider, you may feel profoundly rejected . . . Their peer group is the only game in town. If they are rejected, they have nowhere else to go.’”

Lonely and nowhere to go. There you have it…the recipe for murder. The expert says so. Never mind that the four thugs arrested for this crime were not friendless, solitary outcasts (read the reports in the Boston Herald and the Manchester Union-Leader and you find that to the contrary they had many friends), and never mind that least one of them abandoned his medication for depression. And ignore the fact that several of them were obsessed with knives. No, the salient fact here is that they were “lonely.” So loneliness and loneliness alone, it seems, is what drove them to kill and maim two strangers.

I don’t know what turns teenage boys into killers, but I am fairly confident that if every kid whoever felt rejected by his friends, misunderstood by his parents, and—horror of horrors—lonely picked up a weapon and used it, there’d be a dearth of victims in short order. We’d all be dead.

Let me put this as simply as I can:
1) Being a loner does not mean an individual longs for companionship.
2) Being alone and being lonely are not one and the same.
3) “Sad” and “lonely” are not synonyms.
4) Being lonely is not a crime, nor does it lead to crime. All humans experience loneliness from time to time.

I am well aware that I maybe treading a fine rhetorical line here, so I am trying to sort out its threads as precisely as I can. It comes down to this, I think: every time a deranged or demonic teenage boy commits a heinous crime, some egghead (alone in his Ivory Tower, no doubt!) will explain away the behavior by writing it off to “loneliness.” The perp will inevitably be described as a “loner,” and the conflation of the two terms will be well cemented. And every time this happens, those of us who prefer our solitude, and accept our rare bouts of consequential loneliness for the ephemeral moments they are, feel just a little more marginalized, just a little bit more misunderstood. Do we then turn to violence? No. We read a little Wordsworth, have a spot of single malt, and take a long walk on the beach.

OMG! TONIGHT WAS THE BEST NIGHT EVER!!! (but not to the extent you MAY think) But before that, I’ll start with this…

This whole week was Homecoming Week, a week filled with dressy-themed wear, classroom decorating, and homeroom school song chants. Everyday had something different, and that’s what made "Spirit Week" so swell. I remember dressing for 3 of the days. Here are the days, basically:

• Monday = Class Colors (dress as the appropiate class/grade’s assigned color)
• Tuesday = Disney (dress as any Disney/Marvel character of your choice)
• Wednesday = Life-Span (each class dresses as a different piece of the life-cycle, ex. Seniors dressed as Senior… Citizens xD )
• Thursday = Space-related (dress as something "Out of This World", the theme of the dance, meaning dress as an alien, M.I.B., or space-like)
• Friday = Extreme Warrior Wear (self-explanatory; dress in navy and gold, the school colors)

I dressed on Mon, Wed, and Fri, and I enjoyed dressing those days as well ^^ Best I’ve ever done, out of all of these years. I’m soo proud of myself! Aren’t you? Haha, well, Friday also held the Pep Rally for the football team. I wasn’t too lively at first, but with the help of my friends, and the help of my class winning the "Homeroom Cheering Contest", AND the fact us Seniors OWNED everyone else THREE times in a row that WHOLE time, I finally got up and cheered along ^_^ How’s that for improvement? I’m proud of myself for that as well.
The Game, well…. I shouldn’t have gone. I mean, I got to see alot of last year’s and the year before’s Seniors, but after that, stuff just went downhill. For starters, I have these Prep Academy friends (7th & 8th graders, both girls), and…-sigh- I’ve no idea what happened, but crap just went down, and I got "involved", had to back one up From fighting this big fat guy, and had to basically attempt to cheer the other one up. That was the last half of the night. The first part was very fun. Wish I could say it was the best, altogether, though. Also, I got to feel what Senior year was all about ;D

Now….Tonight, the Homecoming Dance, best dance of the whole year overall. I had helped out yesterday. Well, a little. I helped get a little bit of wallpaper on the wall, at least. But anywho, it was amazing. Everything was very well decorated, and I liked every inch of it. (My teacher sure knows how to decorate!) I walked in to an already-started party (starts at 7-7:30. I got there 5 mins after), and am immediately met by my friend, Sabrina’s date (I forget his name). He’s waiting for her to arrive, with a present in hand. As a later time arrives, he asks if I could text her, so I do. Minutes later, she replies. "I’m sick, can’t go to the Dance" is basically the gist of what she says. I tell him the bad news, but he later manages to pull "fun" out his ass, so all was good there ^_^
So anyway, I enter and look around at who’s already there. Saw my friends, saw people that randomly became my friends, saw friends that use to go the BNI, then saw…. the couples o.o The only thing I would see, that I thought would knock me down and have me have yet another bad Dance, but HAHAHAHA! It didn’t happen!!!! Take that, you lame couples! (Although I saw two girls I liked, both with boyfriends, so that kinda hit hard, especially for one.) I pushed that issue aside and went onward to the table where everyone was at, to…. well,
Mom: "Sit with people you know. Because other people go after the most vulnerable people, meaning ‘loners’. It helps."
So I basically followed my mom’s advice, and it really helped: nothing stolen, luckily ^_^ Not liked I kept personals in my coat pockets, anywho. But still, success there. Then, went to the Dancefloor, I danced to song after song (well, those I knew), and just wild-out, the most I’ve ever done at a Dance. I actually caught myself plenty of times like…. What am I doing? And I just continued dancing like this was second-nature to me. That little thought didn’t stop me a bit, not even the thought of the girls I liked…. well, who cares, right? I kept dancing. Went to the "Concessions" tables plenty of times, for pretzels, meat&cheese, and punch and what-not (tasty!), and I just straight-out enjoyed myself. Then…. 10 o’clock. D: The Dance was over!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!! I did NOT want it to end there! But I knew it had to, as I kept looking at the clock as time neared ending time I stood at the door, "greeting" everyone as they exited the Dance, and then left myself. I talked to the guy who asked my friend to the Dance, and he seemed to have enjoyed himself ^_^ Good for him, I said. Now was the issue of him getting home… Don’t worry. I’m sure he got home safely….

Overall, this Week, take out the setbacks of the Game, and the excitement at the Dance, I enjoyed myself very, very much! Never had so much fun in my life I would pay loads to have that excitement again, but unfortunately, it can’t happen, now. If I could, in my life, go back and change what I was doing in the previous dances I went to, I definitely would. I have so much more confidence now than I did then. Maybe it’s cause I’m a Senior and I needed to do SOMEthing this year or regret NOT ever doing it. Maybe I needed to act like a Senior and become the "life of the party". Maybe it was time to finally change my ways…..

Whatever it is…. I’m glad I did it tonight…. it was worth it, definitely…. no drawbacks, no self-depress, no dull happenings…..

It was… Amazing…

three years
and who’d have thought
that two loners as strange
would ever in a million find
themselves

Today’s tale of harmless-loner-becomes-serial-baby-slapper comes to us from lovely Stone Mountain, Ga. and the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

Apparently Roger Stephens, the gentleman pictured on the left (doesn’t he look kindly?!), walked into a Wal-Mart recently and did what pretty much every person who’s ever lived has wanted to do at one time or another — smacked the crap out of a crying baby.

(Note: smacking other people’s babies is wrong. Of course, so is letting your baby cry and cry and cry in a public place. That’s wrong, too.)

Sonya Mathews, the mother of the 2-year-old child, told police that both were walking in the aisles of the Rockbridge Road store when Stephens approached and said “if you don’t shut that baby up, I will shut her up for you,” according to a police report.

We’re not totally sure of the tone of this comment from the police report. Was he offering a service or threatening her? Either way, she was warned.

A few moments later, in another aisle, Stephens grabbed the 2-year-old and slapped her across the face four or five times, according to the report.

Stephens then told Mathews, “See, I told you I would shut her up,” according to the report.

It’s TRUE! He did!

Missing from the police report is whether the baby actually stopped crying. Still, it’s worth noting that a few moments later, and at least one aisle away, the baby was still bothering poor Mr. Stephens! And as we know by now, if Roger Stephens is one thing, it’s true to his word.

Oh, and if he’s two things, it’s that and a loner.

None of his neighbors really knew him. No one could say where he was from, or where he had previously worked.

His only companion was a stray cat he used to feed. Neighbors say Stephens suspected the cat was killed by some kids who sometimes teased him.

“He kept food out for my cat, which I didn’t want him to do,” said Jon Colwell, 29, who lives across the street. “I didn’t want my cat crossing the street because he’s blind. I’d ask [Stephens] not to do it, he’d say ‘okay,’ and then he’d do it again.”

Their interactions were random and brief.

“He never came out during the day,” Colwell said. “He’s a little bit off. Weirdo.”

Well, hell, that should’ve been the lede, right!? Actually, it is the lede — we just gave it to you in reverse order so that it actually makes sense. Apparently the folks at the AJC are shocked — SHOCKED — that a loner would do such a dastardly thing. Newsflash: It’s not always the well-adjusted regular guys slapping babies; sometimes it’s the weirdo loners.

Nothing really new or novel, that is.  Sorry to disappoint you, friends.

I’ve been housesitting this week, so it’s just me with two dogs and two birds.  I talk to them, because there is no one else with whom to carry on conversations, even though I’m doing all the talking. 

And then it dawned on me – I do not think I am the loner I sometimes claim to be.  I might be okay with being a loner for one or two days, but after that, it’s not good.  I crave interaction, even though I’m predominantly an introvert (which means I must work at expressing myself verbally), and I watch television so I can hear other voices.  And after a couple more days of not interacting with anyone else, I easily fall into a hermit style of living, which keeps me inside the house (and reluctant to be social).  I could fall, dead, on the floor, and no one would notice, except for the dogs.  Sad.

I think what Jack on LOST said is true; if we don’t live together, we’ll die alone.

George Sodoni

Last night, George walked into a “Latin Step” aerobics class, pulled two guns out of his gym bag, and fired 52 rounds, killing three women and wounding several more, before killing himself.

He kept a blog. It’s down now, but I got some of the text from archive.org, and his old redirects.

Time is moving along. Planned to have this done already. I will just keep a running log here as time passes. Many of the young girls here look so beautiful as to not be human, very edible. After joining this gym, started lifting weights and like it.

…I will try not to add any more entries because this computer clicking distracts me.

Here is a censored, summarized version of George Sodoni’s blog [PDF].

The old files I found give a couple of women’s names, like “photogenic Debra” and his one-time girlfriend, who may be among the victims, but otherwise had nothing substantive over this PDF.

p.s. Here’s a creepy entry from his 2008 vacation to California.

If you hadn’t noticed already, Lykae’s Nonsense received a make over.

Before:

Well, you can see the after now anyway.

I’ll be taking care of the weeklies and other updates in a little.

I have some graphic work to get done.

Apparently the image doesn’t show.  Technical difficulties. ):

I’m guessing it’s the layout.

Last edited: July, 27th 2009

Just a random rant.

IMVU’s PR system is most likely piling up again lately.
I sometimes wish I were eighteen now in order to vote in the system.
I submitted and resubmitted (older) products yesterday.

I’m finally done with most of the previews for my products.
I’m waiting on about eight or nine products to pass now.
I’m very impatient at this point.
I want to go show case my products to see if I get some sales.

I will update with either a new post or this post when they’re out.

If you’re not an Aimz supporter by now, why not start?

I haven’t updated Lykae’s Nonsense much since I’ve been busy working on commissions, products, and much more.

I’ve updated my IMVU page (currently private), created a new icon, new banner, and a lot more. Please stay tuned to my updates to check when I’ll have everything available for viewing and purchase.

Currently working on:
New catalog page theme.
My female “Tainted” pants/shoes
My male “Tainted” pants/shoes
OCs’ clothing lines
Request anchor top
Oh My Stars F.
Glit skin
1k donation sticker
Poses

Done with:
.A. Oh My Stars M. (Was “Noname)” – Finishing previews
.A. Werewolf Kiss – Finishin previews
.A. Vampire Kiss – Finishing previews
.A. Swirl Blue M. – Finishing previews
.A. Swirl Green M. – Finishing previews
.A. Swirl Silver M. – Finishing previews
.A. Black / Dark – Finishing previews (Old sticker)

Graphics:
Ally’s repaint (Probably won’t ever finish; too busy)
Jesse’s order
Darty’s trade
Shop orders

Next weekly will be up shortly.

Last edited: July, 24th 2009.

I’ve been working on a new IMVU layout for my page for some time now (and also a new default that is a work in progress). The thing is I can’t decide what my buttons should link to.
Thus far I have 4/5. I’m working on that last one.

Never mind. I figured out all my buttons. Just need to create a few pages and such.

Tomorrow is developing day.
I seriously need to get off this lazy wagon and get to it.
I updated my “Aimz’s product update” post a bit. I’ll keep making changes to that post until it’s time to make a new one.

Odds are I’ll be making a new update post either when “Aimz’s product update” disappears from the first page or whenever I make a new product. I haven’t decided yet.

Come back and check soon for more updates on new product news!

Last edited: July 11th, 2009

Loner – noun, referencing another. Synonym of recluse, shut-in, hermit, introvert, outsider, solitary, isolated, quarantined, sequestered, cloistered, solo, aloof.

"Surfer girls like Bar Rafaeli make the sexiest loners."

(Low-nur)

*not to be confused with Lone Wolf*

Loners are a deeply varied bunch united by their disinterest, dislike, or dismay with the human race in general. The motivation to remain detached from society is contingent upon the specific loner you happen upon; however, you can count on any number of “tragedies” and “tribulations” stemming from the people who surrounded the loner in question long ago. As you might have guessed, these interactions didn’t pan out as planned.

"This loner is dreaming of friends while staring off into space."

Loners tend to use milestones like broken relationships, betrayals, abandonment, etc. as cracked lenses to view their lives through – not only does it justify staying angry, but it acts as a terrific excuse for any and every failure they encounter. Awesome, right?

"Loners reinforce their distrust of others by never interacting."

Open to the public on July, 1st 2009.
My little blog is now up and running for everyone to read and partake in.

What is this “Lykae’s Nonsense” I speak about?
It’s just my blog on updates and random events dealing with IMVU or just in general.

I will be looking for Providers.
What are “Providers” you ask?
My Providers are people I trust and volunteer to run parts of my blog. They help update, edit, post random news, et al.

How can you become a Lykae’s Nonsense Provider?
Simply check out the “Providers?” section for information.

What will you find on my blog?
IMVU updates, changes made to the blog, posts from the Providers, any random news, art, and much more.

Why was Lykae’s Nonsense created?
I mostly created the blog for personal use, but decided to change that up a bit and allow for others to add to Lykae’s Nonsense as well. It just adds to the activity. I also didn’t want to have to run back and fourth to Ripway to add updates. I believe wordpress is faster and better looking.

Today we heard of a shooting at the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C. that appears to be the work of a single gunman, whom authorities believe to be a man in his late 80s by the name of James Von Brunn. If this is the suspect in custody, he is actually a World War II veteran and vocal member of the Holy Western Empire, which at this point, seems to be a white supremacy group.

It is sad to see people resorting to violence to settle their differences. And we have to be aware that we still need to be vigilant in our efforts to protect ourselves — despite the feeling of some Americans that security measures in this country have become too intrusive. It’s important to support our men and women in uniform, who at both the local and national levels, do a terrific job of keeping our country safe.

What this man did was an act of terrorism — domestic terrorism.

But the big question is: What’s the psychological profile of this shooter? If you look at some of the psychological profiles of past shooters, they are all different in their own way. However, there always seem to be some common themes.

Most of these people are angry at someone or a group of people, and share a psychotic belief that their misfortunes are predicated on the actions of those they hate.

Usually they are loners — they feel rejected by others or by society as a whole.

For some, substance abuse and depression are common themes, but even knowing these common themes, it is almost impossible to differentiate between who will just withdraw from society and who has the potential to snap and hurt innocent people.

I pray for those hurt in this tragedy and hope that we are able to create systems that could perhaps better identify high-risk people and prevent future tragedies from occurring.