This is my one-hundred-and-forty-ninth picture. October 27, 2009

i encountered an issue with my 365 pictures on flickr last night. it seems i failed to upload one from the end of august. it was just a quick shot before bed taken with my computer’s camera, so i’m not going to go back and put it on here. i went through my flickr and relabeled every picture taken since that one, but it would be more time consuming to redo every picture here, so for the time being, i’m just going to skip forward a number and pretend it never happened.

This is my one-hundred-and-forty-third picture. October 22, 2009

This is my one-hundred-and-twenty-fifth picture. October 4, 2009

On June 1st, I started my 365 project. It almost seems like a rite of passage in a way. I felt like it was finally time to take it seriously and commit to taking one photograph (of myself) every day for a year. I’m counting backwards, though. I’ve never seen someone approach the project like this. It’s really no different from counting forward. I just started at #365 rather than #1.

This is my one-hundred-and-seventeenth picture. September 26, 2009

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Sign Language for "Stuck Up"

Since I began this journey with the Prodigal God by Timothy Keller, my eyes have been opened to see the Elder Brother throughout the Bible. It is a whole new way of understanding the Gospel as well. The most amazing discovery has been the freedom that comes from admitting to God that we are an Elder Brother. There is no point in pretending. He knows our heart. He knows when we look down on others, when we think we are better than others. There is nothing wrong with being an Elder Brother. What is wrong is when we deny it, and say we are OK.

When you realize you are an Elder Brother, and are open and honest with God, and then ask Him to transform you into the True Elder Brother, the one who is not stingy or judgmental or selfish, WATCH OUT. He will start to work, and it will be painful.

One way God will get you to let go of yourself is to let you see your self in a bad light. He will let you be TRADUCED! When you are traduced, you are “exposed to contempt or shame by means of false statements or misrepresentation.” God will let you experience what it means to have someone look down at you, to judge you. Even if you have done nothing wrong, expect to be TRADUCED. It is God’s way of softening your heart to the needs of younger brothers. Elder Brothers have condemned and judged younger brothers far too long. God wants to see how you react to the wagging finger and upturned nose.

I experienced TRADUCING yesterday. Someone questioned my character by way of a misrepresentation. They had judged me yet did not have the guts to tell me to my face, or to tell me of their concerns. They had to have someone else do it. I had done nothing wrong, yet my blood started to boil, and I wanted to lash out. I especially despise cowards, people who talk about you behind your back yet will not talk to your face. As I was listening, blood boiling, the Father brought a verse to my heart, about Jesus not reviling when he was reviled, but committing himself to Him who judges righteously. (1 Peter 2:23 paraphrased). He reminded me that I had given my reputation to God several years ago, and that I must rest in Him. That is tough for an Elder Brother to do, especially when he is a Pastor. We tend to say “How Dare You!”

Yet Jesus is our True Elder Brother, and when He was TRADUCED, simply took it, and focused on His Father. He also prayed and forgave those who TRADUCED Him. So for the next few hours I prayed, forgave and asked the Father to enlarge my heart. The only way Elder Brothers will learn to be like Jesus is to learn to Love when we feel like hating or exacting revenge. I confessed I did not know how to love, but I knew the Father did.

Then I read what David Roper wrote in Our Daily Bread this morning:

“It was 40 years ago or more that I observed a friend of mine showing great affection for someone I considered unworthy of love. I thought my friend was being taken in, and I was afraid he would be disillusioned and saddened in the end. When I expressed my concern, he replied, “When I stand before my Lord, I hope He’ll say of me that I’ve loved too many, rather than too few.” I’ve never forgotten his words.”

The author continued expounding 1 Cor 13:7 “Love believes all things” – “Love “believes” in people. It can see the potential in them. It believes that God can take the most unattractive and unworthy individual and turn that person into a masterpiece of beauty and grace. If love errs, it must err in the way of trustfulness and hopefulness.”

This is what Elder Brothers need to see. Instead of thinking we are the righteous ones, the ones whom the Father needs because we are so responsible, we need to see ourselves  along side the younger brother in the pigsty. We need to know what it is to be TRADUCED and looked down upon. Then we need to look at our Father and say, When our heart feels the Love of the Father even when we are at our worst, please let me never see another person as unattractive or unworthy or filthy or useless. Let me see them as YOUR MASTERPIECE! Then our heart is enlarged to LOVE THE UNLOVELY! May we ever look to the Father and pray that He will some day accuse us of loving too many, rather than too few!

Elder brothers need to be TRADUCED so that we understand the pain and hurt of our younger brothers. When our hearts are aching then we will be sensitive to the pain of the younger brother’s heart. We will reach out to our Father for help, and only then will we be able to reach out to our younger brother. Sure, they may continue to break our heart, but as David Roper said: “It’s better to believe in someone and have your heart broken than to have no heart at all.“

Lord, help us to believe in people
And all that in them You can do,
So we can say we’ve loved too many,
Rather than too few. —Sper

The Father looks beyond what the brothers are to what they can become.

Father: Soften and enlarge my heart to love my younger brothers the way my True Elder Brother loves me. Empower me to love the unlovely. May I never look down on anyone. May I see others as You see them!

On June 1st, I started my 365 project. It almost seems like a rite of passage in a way. I felt like it was finally time to take it seriously and commit to taking one photograph (of myself) every day for a year. I’m counting backwards, though. I’ve never seen someone approach the project like this. It’s really no different from counting forward. I just started at #365 rather than #1.

This is my ninety-ninth picture. September 8, 2009

On June 1st, I started my 365 project. It almost seems like a rite of passage in a way. I felt like it was finally time to take it seriously and commit to taking one photograph (of myself) every day for a year. I’m counting backwards, though. I’ve never seen someone approach the project like this. It’s really no different from counting forward. I just started at #365 rather than #1.

This is my ninety-eighth picture. September 7, 2009

On June 1st, I started my 365 project. It almost seems like a rite of passage in a way. I felt like it was finally time to take it seriously and commit to taking one photograph (of myself) every day for a year. I’m counting backwards, though. I’ve never seen someone approach the project like this. It’s really no different from counting forward. I just started at #365 rather than #1.

This is my seventy-sixth picture. August 15, 2009.

If the image doesn’t work, click here.

On June 1st, I started my 365 project. It almost seems like a rite of passage in a way. I felt like it was finally time to take it seriously and commit to taking one photograph (of myself) every day for a year. I’m counting backwards, though. I’ve never seen someone approach the project like this. It’s really no different from counting forward. I just started at #365 rather than #1.

This is my fifteenth picture. June 15, 2009.

trick the apple

feel the beauty

when you return

Look down!

Do look down!

- John

sent from my iPhone