As we were seated, the hostess told us about some appetizer or something that we ought to try and seemed not only friendly, but genuinely professional, not like some disinterested ditz we may have interrupted from an important text message.We have never been into a Cheddar’s before, but assumed it to be a standard mix of Chili’s, Friday’s, Applebee’s, Bennigan’s etc, and I suppose it was, but for some reason, it just seemed, a bit more upscale, at least in appearance. Perhaps they just have better designers. I liked the brickwork and huge planters around us, and in the center of the place, they had this huge horizontally rotating fan system. They also had a really nice aquarium set-up, so I won’t have to take my wife to Corpus Christie this year to see fish.

The menu offers up a fairly wide variety. Between the short time that our waiter took our drink order and brought them, we had both changed our minds numerous times on what to order.

By the way, speaking of waiters: we have had some good luck recently. I mentioned a few weeks ago the waitress at Spanky’s being exceptional; our waiter James G. at Cheddar’s was so on the spot professional that I suspect some business owner will come in for lunch and attempt to lure him into the business world. The guy was simply impressive. We never felt like we were being pressured, but he would casually suggest items or simply work the idea of dessert into the conversation. Ask for him when you go.On to the vittles. As an appetizer, we had to order the onion rings. They come neatly stacked on a plate and the order is easily enough for a table of four people. They were good and I would gladly order them again. I could have stood to have them cook for even another 20 or 30 seconds, but they were certainly tasty and not too crunchy. I do not like crunchy onion rings.My wife finally decided on the chicken pot pie. We didn’t know what to expect, but she was pleasantly surprised with the thick golden crust and the piping hot contents. I even had a taste and it was enjoyable.She chose the house salad as her side and I would say it was comparable to what you get at Chili’s. Fresh croutons and a good size for a side. Not shown in the picture here (because either I was too slow with the camera or she was too fast with the bread) was a really soft and delicious croissant that came with the salad. It was fresh and good.Because I could see myself being stuffed on onion rings, I opted to just get the triple cheese hickory burger. You will notice that the plate came without a side of fries or anything. I like that. Since we ordered the rings as an appetizer, there was no reason for me to get fries or a salad or anything else, and with the burger, the side was an option. That means the price of the burger was comparable to What-a-Burger. For the size, at a sit down restaurant, I’d say under $5.00 is pretty good for a burger. And it was good. No, I won’t go as far as to single out this burger as a favorite, but it was certainly very acceptable and well delivered.

As we sat there enjoying our meal, there was some commotion at the booth behind us. There was a family of four and from what we could see, they had also ordered onion rings as an appetizer. One waiter came out and delivered the onion rings and within a matter of seconds, a second waiter came out and delivered the rest of the meal. The mom in this group seemed to go a little overboard in my opinion, but her point was that they had waited way too long for the appetizer, and now, with it being served with dinner, what was the point?

A third waiter quickly came to the table to hear the complaint and as he was talking to the folks, another person went to retrieve a manager. By the time the manager arrived (20-30 seconds, max) the waiter had defused the situation by telling the loud lady that the manager would make things right for them.

From what I could observe and hear (the manager kept things very calm and quiet), there was simply no excuse for the bad service and he would be adjusting the bill accordingly. Further, before anyone could even ask for it, someone was bringing the husband at the table a new beer (even though he had only taken a few sips of the one he had) and I suspect it was on the house.

The point in my mind was, these people were not happy, and in order to gain their future business, this manager and staff were going to do whatever was necessary to have them come back for another visit. And I bet they will.

And we will return as well. Look, you go go to any number of places and find bar & grill food at pretty much the same price. If the Cheddar’s folks can deliver on service like we received (or have managers that can fix it like the people behind us received), on only the second full day of operations, then they are well on their way to becoming a favorite choice for us.Don’t wait a month, they seem ready for you to visit now, and my wife promises you’ll be doing the Happy Dance too!

My wife actually suggested that we leave and go someplace else since I couldn’t come to a quick decision, and that was why I quickly stepped up to the counter and ordered the Sausage Parm. Only then, I couldn’t decide on the half or full. As I decided, my wife ordered her calzone with sausage and pepperoni. I did ask the girl taking our order the difference in the half or full size subs and she made some fairly quick hand gestures to represent 6″ and 12″, though her 12″ calculation seemed might short compared to what I got.I should have realized how big it was when I saw a pizza going into the oven. Huge!We took a booth as far away from the birthday party as possible, but I’m afraid that the power of infants screaming and kids on those little roller shoe things zooming by us to go to the game room didn’t make it any better. Granted, they have a soundtrack going on over the speakers with lots of Frank Sinatra and various Italian Opera standards to drown things out, but to be very honest, I could have easily just gotten up and walked away without even getting our food. Instead, considering they make your order from scratch, it came fairly quickly.

And of course, you can’t blame the restaurant for having people create an instant party at their place; and you can’t blame the kids for thinking that this was a place they could scream and run around in, after all, all the kid wanted for his birthday was some tokens and two hours in the Chuck E. Cheese that is exactly one exit west on Loop 410.When my sausage parm sub came out, I couldn’t believe it. It looked huge, smelled good and right away, from the first bite until the last, it was hot and delicious and gooey in the parts that were supposed to be gooey. I’m not kidding when I say, get the half order unless you are a glutton for punishment, or just a glutton, for that matter. It was so good that, in spite of the ringing in my ears brought on by the high pitched wailing of some kid possibly teething or perhaps having his genitals pierced, I was nearly lulled into unconsciousness by the continuous flow of beautiful sausage, delicious bread and spicy grilled onions and peppers flowing too my oh so waiting tummy. I need a nap just thinking about it.Meanwhile, my wife went to town on a meat calzone that was easily enough to feed us both. The first thing she noticed was that it was cooked completely through. Sometimes people try to make a calzone and in an effort not to burn the outside, the inside is not fully cooked. Not a problem with that here. Inside, the cheesy goodness was all gooey and melted well with the sausage and pepperoni. In fact, as we were leaving, she made it a point to tell the cook that it was the best calzone she has had in San Antonio.

I would like to tell you that we each picked at our food and asked for a large box to bring the left over contents home, perhaps to heat up at a later date and enjoy a second time around. I’d also like to tell you that I can fit into the slacks I wore when I was a senior in high school, but we both know that ain’t about to happen. It was simply too good. Remember that guy in the old Alka Seltzer commercial – he couldn’t believe he ate the whole thing? Well believe it.

I’m not really impressed with the inside of the restaraunt and I can’t say that everything was perfect – but what place is? Get it to go.The bottomline is, we were extremely pleased with our orders and the service was fast and the vittles were good. That friends warrants a Tasty Treat for Goomba’s.

Business was brisk – in fact we had to wait close to 20 minutes to be seated, which I did not care for one bit. But you gotta figure that if so many people are willing to wait, it must be worth it, right?

If you are going to have to wait anyway, the folks at E&I smartly placed a coffee bar in the front area so you can get a cup of their excellent coffee, free of charge. What a great idea. Since it was close to noon, my wife was pretty much coffeed out, so the free little cup was just enough for her. I wonder if Chili’s would consider dispensing free Dixie cups of beer while you wait for your table?Once seated, we already knew what we wanted to order (we had about 20 minutes to figure it out) so when the waitress came to get our drink order, we gave her the full meal request. A few things you should know. First, on weekdays, they offer free wireless Wi Fi. Second, they have outdoor seating if you’d care to be roasted in the sun, and third, bring a paper, a book, or perhaps a board game to play, because the wait for our meal was forever.Honestly. In terms of crowds, Jim’s and IHOP handle this amount of people routinely, yet the wait for food doesn’t seem to take nearly as long. My wife attributed this to the fact that E&I is more of an upscale, Magnolia Pancake Haus sort of set up. So I think what that equates to is, you won’t appreciate your vittles if they come too fast. I reckin’.My wife ordered up the “Waffle Eggspress“, a golden Belgian waffle, two eggs and two strips of bacon. This was pretty good. The bacon was especially tasty (yea, I tried some). My wife would have liked the waffle to be cooked just a tad longer – a little more golden brown if you will, but it was also very good.I thought the Wisconsin Scramble sounded good. It is three eggs scrambled with a quartet of cheeses: Swiss, Monterey jack, cheddar and cream cheese, then topped with green onions. The eggs come with ranch potatoes, toast and sausage. A few notes: First, the scramble was very good. Who would have thought of cream cheese in your eggs? Good stuff. The potatoes had some sort of ranch taste. I think I would have been happier with the “regular” taste. The sausage was excellent just like the bacon. The toast may have been buttered back in the kitchen, but they don’t serve any additional butter with it. Enjoy the Smuckers. To do it again, I think I would have opted for biscuits.

Overall, the food was all good and in spite of the name, they also serve lunch. The Reuben caught my eye, so I’m sure we’ll be going back for another try. If you are just interested in getting a quick breakfast, I’m not seeing this as the place to go. But if you’ve got an hour or so to hang out and wait for your food, be sure to give it a shot.

As my wife and I were making our way back to San Antonio from our afternoon in San Marcos, naturally the topic of eating came up. This happens often when we get in the car.

Anyway, since we were near New Braunfels, she suggested that maybe we should stop into the Clear Springs Restaurant off Hiway 46. Hindsight being 20 – 20…Anyway, she also had mentioned the fact that she has never been to Pappadeaux. That was about all it took and I made a beeline down I-35 and off of Loop 410 and onto McCullough so we could get some.

My only previous experience with Pappadeaux involved a business meeting, an expense account, lots of steak & shrimp and numerous beers, so even though I would be paying this time, I was sort of happy to return.The first thing you need to know is that the place is fairly big. The place looks mighty friendly on the outside with great landscaping, covered porch with rocking chairs, and just an inviting atmosphere to it.Inside, there is a fairly large bar area where you can imagine people staying in nearby hotels routinely use for an after work hang-out.We sat at a table near the center of all traffic; every person entering the place seemed to walk by us and every member of the waitstaff hung out or got their trays loaded in front of us. Sure, we could have asked for a different table, but I like to watch the excitement.

Pappadeux offers something I really like to see in a restaurant and that is a hustling staff. The people were really moving and maybe it was the time that we visited (around 5PM), but our appetiser and food arrived fast.With our drinks, we got a loaf of hot & fresh french bread that was nothing short of outstanding. In fact, I could have just stopped there, but my wife wanted some too.We decided to get the calamari as a starter and it was out in a matter of minutes, very hot (which is required for calamari) and it came with two sauces. One was some sort of cocktail sauce that was out of this world and the other was some sort of creamy, lemony sauce that I can’t recall the name of, but it was also good.My wife ordered the fried shrimp and instead of fries had the steamed broccoli. Dude, look at the size of that broccoli! Once she cut away all the excess undercooked parts, she was good with it. She was also happy with the shrimp, though in fairness, it was basically bland. At a Cajun place? Really.If I had seen a steak & shrimp combo, I probably would have ordered it, but I just didn’t see it on the menu. Instead, I went with the ol’ standby and ordered catfish and shrimp. How can you screw that up if your a seafood place, right? Can I just say that they give you entirely too many fries? Of course I can, it’s my blog. I mean, is it any wonder why people in San Antonio are so enormously fat?

More importantly, it creates a logistics problem. I don’t really care for fries, so they just get in the way. Not to worry, the catfish was hot, but again extremely bland.

I know that the Pappadeaux people will spice up your meal if you want it really hot or they will tone it down if you can’t handle the pica, but geeze, this crust was just so without taste that it seemed a shame to cover the nicely cooked catfish beneath it. And the shrimp was not special at all. Look, if we were talking about Long John Silvers, I’d be okay, but in case you hadn’t seen the menu, prices for this stuff start at about $20.

It’s a shame too. We had great service, it was fast – in fact my wife joked that the meal came faster than a lot of fast food places we have been to – and although it was loud, the place has a nice atmosphere. But when you into a place and spend $60, it should be at least as good as what you can get at Chili’s or some place like that for $35.

In a head on comparison, I’ll put Clear Springs restaurant and their catfish and their shrimp (and their fries for that matter) up against Pappadeaux any day of the week. And I promise it will cost a lot less.

Fire the cook.

Well, our decade long temper tantrum worked; they must have missed us and fixed whatever it was we didn’t like. If only we could have gotten there sooner.It turns out that I forgot about some construction taking place at 410 and Bandera this weekend, so it took us a solid 40 minutes to go one exit from Culebra to Bandera. That really sucked. And it made me hungry.Given our attitudes about Outback – my wife actually said “Let’s just get this over with” – it was going to take a really solid performance for us to even consider saying anything positive about the place. Our waitress, who was probably 8 or 9 years old the last time we were there, sat down next to my wife and got right to work. When it was clear that we weren’t sure about appetizers or not, she opted to grab our drinks to give us a little more time.I liked that and in fact, she was back with drinks and a loaf of warm bread in about a third the time it takes to get a beer at Chili’s. The place looks about the same as I recalled. I did noticed a huge flat panel TV in the bar area and several smaller ones hanging around the place. We also noticed that there was a lot of staff and at least two management types walking around. We never complain when we eat out, but it is nice to know that if a manager came by and asked how things were, you could unload if need be.In near record time, we were served our starters. I had the house salad and my wife went with some potato soup. It has an Aussie sounding title for it (which I don’t recall), but it was potato soup, and it was excellent. My salad was very good and I have no complaints. Loved the croutons.My wife had the Alice Springs Chicken. I love chicken and I recall that every time we would go, I would order this. For some reason, I was continually getting more and more disappointed with it, either for being dry or being just thrown together. The ASC is a breast of chicken with some mushrooms and bacon on it then smothered in cheese. I’m guessing they have reverted back to the original formula because the size of the portion was big, the chicken was extremely juicy, not dry, and the toppings were delicious. Oh, and my wife liked it too.After careful deliberation, I went with the 8 ounce Outback special sirloin (Look at that beauty), and a baked potato, loaded. The steak was cooked medium as ordered and it was a fine specimen for the price. It cut easily and there was no excessive chewing required. I’m still gonna take the presentation of the baked potato at Texas Road House over this, but this one was nothing to sneeze at. Certainly cooked enough and no skimping on the “loaded“.

The service we had was great. None of the psycho business where they come and harass you every other bite asking if everything is okay. I hate that. Our waitress was available when needed, but otherwise, kept an eye on us from afar. I like that.So, my wife ordered up some dessert to try out. She got a sample version of a brownie with ice cream sort of thing. To be polite, I also had a small bite of it, just so she wouldn’t feel as though she was eating alone.In the end, I can’t imagine this was a fluke. Something must have happened since our last visit; maybe it was that whole Y2K thing, who knows? But for great service, an awesome steak and the Alice Springs Chicken, Outback at 410 and Evers is once again, a Tasty Treat.

What is your secret route for getting from The GNW to loop 410? Tell me about it.

Prior to school starting back up, the traffic was just light enough that you could still get through with only minimal frustration. But now that school has started, it takes numerous cycles of the traffic lights to go what is really maybe a half mile.This was my view, sitting in the parking lot of Culebra at Potranco. I suspect it will only get worse.Oh, and remember when I mentioned that bad turn on Callahan Road near Southwest Research Institute? I guess this guy just didn’t feel like taking the turn.

How’s your traffic?

And so this was my mindset the other morning as I found myself locked in behind a guy who was locked in behind a little red car doing fully 17 miles an hour under the posted speed limit of 40 mph on Culebra.

I should be ashamed for allowing myself to become locked in line with this little car. But, it happens. Sometimes as polite as you are, using your turn signals to change lanes, waiting for a break in the cars zooming past you at 5 to 10 mph above the posted speed limit, but as is the case, the cars stuck behind me get to take advantage of the break in traffic before me – so you see, it happens.

I had resigned myself to the fact that some do-gooder Al Gore disciple was forcing me to save gas and drive earth friendly. The best I could do is to relax, turn off the radio and pop in a Britney Spears CD and live with the fact that Baby was Hitting me, One More Time. And I don’t have any idea what that means. I guess, some times, you have to take a deep breath and count to ten.

I finally made it through the intersection at Culebra and Ingram, and technically, there was only one more intersection to go before hitting 410.

Just a side note. Have you noticed that people who want to save gas by driving slow also very specifically want to stop at every stop light? I’m all for being safe – count me in if you refuse to speed up on Yellow – I’m your fan (not really). But please. Who are these people who slow down at Green on the anticipation that it COULD turn Yellow, and they might have to slam on the brakes to avoid running a Yellow?

I’m sorry, I’m starting to get worked up again just thinking about this. I could use a call from Texas Med Clinic just to make my blood pressure ease-up.

Anyway, I finally made it past the guy in front of me and of course, the slow driver in the little car in front of him, who single-handedly slowed down one of only two lanes of a major artery from the suburbs to the highway, and collectively raised San Antonio’s blood pressure to Atenolol inducing levels.

And then the light turned Yellow and so I eased myself in front of the little red car just to get a good look while sitting at the stop light.And this is what we have friends. If you look into my mirror (as I did); no, it isn’t some green activist trying to save gas. It isn’t the goofy teenager texting away on the PDA or grandma yapping on the cell phone. It was some chick putting on make-up.

I hope she actually made it to work.

If you scroll to the bottom of this page you will note several links that I think are of use to people who live in, or are interested in San Antonio, and one such page is called Views of Texas.

KeithAlanK, the artist at Views of Texas does not require such luck. I am constantly amazed at his brilliant lighting and the obvious thought he puts into his work. He did a very impressive series of shots on the new high-rise interchange at 410 and I-10 you should check out.In the mean time, I offer my tribute to him, taken through my son’s dirty windshield as we exited Loop 410 onto Bandera Road today. Views of Bandera Road.

Just last night on my way home from the airport at nearly midnight, I have the entire road along Loop 410 almost to myself, but some lady in a white Cadillac was so engrossed in her cell phone conversation that she had no idea that she had drifted into my lane causing me to quickly jerk into the empty lane next to me. What the hell? She probably was not aware that she had changed three lanes between San Pedro and Vance-Jackson.It gets even worse if you add lots of traffic and a little but of rain onto the roads. Just this afternoon on my way home from work, I happened upon this accident on Culebra, and naturally, traffic was really backed up behind it and somewhat in my direction only for the rubberneckers and people like me with camera’s always ready to take a picture of some other guy’s misfortune. I trust there were no injuries.And then, not even to the next stop light, another crash, no doubt caused by someone not having situational awareness.

The more I hear about this public transportation scheme where people simply sit in a bus or a train and not have to do the hard work of paying attention while they drive, the more I like it.

As long as I don’t have to sit in the bus or train with them.

First, I have always avoided NSM simply because for someone like me who tends to dress down on the weekends, I always feel a little self-conscious, almost as if I have driven into a gated community without belonging there. I know that sounds silly – there is no income requirement to shop at North Star and certainly no written dress code requiring a jacket and tie, or at minimum, something fashionable, but seriously, Valet Parking at the mall?Grandma looks for the valet ticket so she can go do some Muddin’

On the other hand, I can certainly see how it might be convenient for older folks who just want to get inside to spend their grand-children’s inheritance without having to circle the lot for a space to park.Anyway, I do like the big letters spelling out the mall name and of course, those boots are classic. If I could get over my socialite-phobia, I would probably visit more – and maybe even give The Shoppes at La Cantera a shot. (Nope – I still haven’t been there).

On the bright side, I find great joy in seeing ugly people, fat people and astonishingly terribly dressed people walking through North Star Mall because it gives me a feeling that the mall is being integrated with normal people, and of course, it makes me feel like I’m not the object of all the pretty people’s ridicule. I know, I probably could use some counseling.

But to the point of the story. My wife and her mom are huge fans of See’s Candies and for some reason, the don’t have a store her in SA. Anytime I travel through LAX or Las Vegas, I have to buy a shopping cart full of candy to keep in good graces. Luckily, See’s opens a kiosk in North Star in November and December to save everyone a trip out west, and to save on the price of shipping (the Internet has everything for sale).So, the first thing you should know is that they have free samples. That alone is worth the trip. When my wife showed the slightest interest in a candy she had not tasted before, the clerk busted out a sample lickity-split and it was like lunch time at HEB Plus!Anyway, we aren’t into sweets that much, but it did cost $75.00 just to get out of there. Maybe it is a good idea they only open shop two months a year.

So today, my wife and her mom along with a freind went over to the Marbach and Loop 410 area to eat lunch at Gilbert’s Authentic Mexican Food. My wife reports that the owner was very nice and the food was acceptable (She says, “2 Tasty Treats“), and they had an enjoyable time, but the highlight of the event was what she captured on her cell phone camera.
See if you can pick out the headlines: I don’t mean to poke fun at the guy, in fact, even with the use of spell check, I get the occasional friendly e-mail telling me that I used the wrong use of a word (you know; they’re, their , there), but I just found this to be a hoot. So if you find some Headline’s around SA (or wherever you are at) send them to Jay or at least send them to me!

What with it being Columbus Day and such, I took a half-day off work and celebrated this holiday with lunch. I have been wanting some fish, and though it wasn’t catfish, I figured Sea Island would do. My wife insisted that we go to the restaurant near Loop 410 as opposed to the 1604 location, and it was a good choice.

We both had the B Lunch (shrimp and fish) and were quite pleased. First, the fish was not dry at all and I got the bonus of having an extra piece thrown on for good measure. The hush puppies were perfectly cooked – not hard as a rock. And the cole slaw was out of this world.

My wife was so happy that she went to the manager and thanked him for the quality and complimented the friendly staff and quick service.

Sorry, I was too hungry to take a picture before eating, but it was such a Tasty Treat that shortly after this photograph was taken, I joined the “Clean Plate Club“!

But we still had to eat, and on our way to another errand, we stopped at the Village Inn over off of Loop 410 and 151. I should tell you in advance that my wife has been wanting to try this place since it opened. Growing up, we had a Village Inn in my home town in Florida, so I think of it as just another version of Denny’s or Jim’s or something like that, so it wasn’t a big priority on my list of places to eat. But, since we were there, and we have already established that I do not like the Buffalo Wild Wings or the TGI Friday’s in the same shopping center, it was into the Village Inn.

Maybe we hit it at an awkward time, but the place was fairly empty (which I like). We were immediately seated and our waiter came right away to take our drink order and give us menus. Important note: I always take my iced tea unsweetened. My wife likes hers regular. If you don’t write this information down when you take our drink order, you still have a 50-50 chance that you’ll get it right when you set the glasses down. Hopefully our waiter didn’t waste any money on Lotto tickets this weekend.

I have to admit, I was surprised at the selection on the menu. I mean, lots of burgers, sandwiches, dinner plates, and of course, breakfast. Something that tells me that a restaurant means business in the breakfast department is the selection of sweeteners. Regular sugar is a given. Next up, most places have some Sweet-n-low (pink stuff) as the only substitute. I myself am particular to Equal (blue stuff). The Village Inn went all out and provided, sugar, pink, blue and yellow! (Splenda). Oh, and Smucker’s jam on the table! Not bad indeed. Perhaps we’ll try this place for breakfast sometime.

On to the vittles. I ordered up a Buffalo Chicken Melt. Instead of fries, I opted for the house salad. Not bad at all. It was fresh, came with a basket full of assorted crackers, had the right amount of croûtons and the ranch dressing might be a house recipe. And it was the perfect size.

I think you should have a good idea of what you want to eat when you go into a place with such a huge menu selection. I’m a firm believer in fewer options at restaurants. For example, if you want Chinese, you go to a Chinese restaurant. Don’t give me the option for enchilada’s in Verde sauce once I get there. Likewise, burgers should not be on the menu at a pizza place. This wide variety makes the ordering process entirely too difficult.

So, as we scanned the menu for something to eat, I looked first at the Reuben sandwich, but thought to myself that I had just had one somewhere else recently. Then, I saw a double cheeseburger that looked good, and again, I thought, what the hell, this is the Village Inn, not Whataburger. So finally, when the moment of truth came and the waiter was standing there, uh, waiting, my wife was still scanning the menu and I blurted out, “Buffalo Chicken Melt, no fries, salad; ranch”. And a bead of sweat dripped down onto the table below. And when I got it, I thought, man, I wish I had ordered the Reuben.

But, let me tell you. This is not a bad sandwich. And the buffalo sauce had quite the kick to it. I actually took the ranch dressing and slathered it upon the sourdough bun for added flavor. If you like hot wings but don’t want to get your fingers all saucy, this is a good option. Thankfully, the napkins were able to sop up the red mess all over my face when I finished.

My wife opted for the Chicken Ranch sandwich which comes complete with strips of bacon. She let me have a little taste of it and I have to tell you, it was light and fluffy – not too hard like some chicken patties I have had in the past.

We did have a minor service issue. Aside from the tea incident, my wife ordered up some honey-mustard to dip her fries in. Our waiter cheerfully left and never returned. Well, he did return when I flagged him down and gave him the international sign for honey-mustard. I must tell you, when we got the honey-mustard, we were very pleased with it. Great taste, and again, it may be a house recipe like the ranch. Or perhaps, they just buy good quality products.

We are not ones for dessert unless it is one of those deals where somebody is celebrating a birthday and they bring you out this huge piece of cake with ice cream on top and enough spoons for everyone at the table to swap germs, so when the waiter comes and asks us if we are ready for dessert, we usually just say, “Give me the damn bill and make it quick, Bub“. Not really. But it is nice to be asked.

The Village Inn apparently wants to give Marie Calandars a run for her money in the pie department. They have a huge display case of incredible looking pies of all flavors and texture, and they are having some sort of pie sale going on. Just a note – the good looking pies you see here are not the ones on sale for $5.95.

Anyway, during the course of eating our sandwiches, we looked at the little pie menu about 14 times and finally decided that my wife wanted to try a sliver of some sort of cheese cake topped with lemon. The only problem was, since the waiter had already dropped off our bill with the food, he wasn’t coming back. Thankfully, my wife was able to capture the attention of another waitperson who politely yelled for Caesar to get back out to our table. And, he was apologetic enough that he only charged us for a half-slice, but gave us each our piece.

Good stuff!

So, here is the final deal. I think this place is worth checking out for breakfast, for sure. I think the afternoon dinner could be a good option over Luby’s or some place like that. The price was not over the top but you can certainly eat cheaper. I am very happy with the quality of the vittles, though I’d have to try something else in order to be sure.

I guess that isn’t much help at all, is it? How bout this? If you’ve tried Village Inn, tell me about it. Leave a comment here using the little comment button below.

So last night as we watched the Jay Leno expose on Senator Larry Craig’s tap dance in the men’s room and simultaneously enjoyed the rain covering our lawn and filling the aquifer, I knew there would be a good reason to leave a few minutes early for work today.

So, I pull onto Timber Path on the off chance that it might be open, but sure enough, the barricades were up. So, I turn onto Grissom to go towards Culebra.

Now for those of you reading this, that have no idea what I am talking about, please allow me a moment to explain.

There are close to a bazillion people trying to get out of the neighborhoods that make up the Great Northwest and several other communities. On a normal day, this is done by taking various back streets and short cuts and such. The goal is to get to either Bandera Road to our east, Loop 410 to the south, or perhaps Highway 151 via Westover Hills Blvd. But, when it rains, all the shortcuts are basically blocked and you have to use Culebra Road to make the exit. This triples the amount of traffic at the intersection of Culebra, 471, Grissom and Tezel

The traffic lights don’t recognize the change.

Okay. So here is my public service announcement: Please understand that everyone is trying to get to work in a safe and courteous manner. Everyone knows that the traffic has tripled. Nobody is amused by anyone trying to be an inconsiderate sphincter by simply bypassing the the half-mile long line in the turning lane so you can force your way into the turn at the last minute. Having a fuel efficient car does not help your case.

Case in point. As I waited through 7 cycles of the traffic light at Culebra/Grissom/Tezel/471 (don’t get me started with street naming conventions), I calmly and nicely listened to re-runs of Lisle and Hahn. As I made it to within a thousand feet of the actual intersection, an inconsiderate asshat (that’s Internet lingo) in a white VW felt that it was more important for the rest of us to wait, so he or she could simply bypass the ten minute long wait, and cut in front.

People, this is how road-rage gets started. You think your time is more important than my time.

Don’t get me wrong. I can appreciate if you didn’t know, and hey, someone is nice and lets you in as a courtesy, that’s fine. But in the case of this VW, they actually stopped the flow of traffic in the non-turning lane so they could force their way into the turning lane, ahead of all the people who had respectfully waited their turn.

I’ve got news for you buddy: My van already has a tiny scratch on the front passenger side fender where my wife scraped a pole. It needs to get fixed sooner or later and I don’t mind your insurance company paying for it.

So, long story short – VW didn’t get into the turning lane on my watch. And I’m pretty sure it may have taken a while with all the other pissed off people behind me watching these inappropriate and inconsiderate antics.

Play nice out there and by all means, turn around, don’t drown.

So today, a freind and I went out to lunch and he suggested Friday’s. I had no issue with it and figured, what are the chances that something crazy could happen twice in a row?

I’ll keep this short.

I must say that I regret not having my camera or even my cell phone with crappy camera attachment, because what I am about to describe deserves pictures. Remember that movie Office Space where the Jennifer Aniston character is in trouble for not wearing enough, oh what did they call it, Flair or something? Anyway, our waitress, a nice young lady was wearing some sort of weird railroad engineer cap like those popular in the 70′s. Oh, is it all coming back into style now? I guess that explains her hoop earrings too. My bad. And there was another waitress wearing some sort of British “Andy Capp” hat, but in red plaid. WTF?

Okay, to the meat of the story. I order up the Tuscan Portabello Melt. According to the menu, it is “ Sliced portobello mushrooms between layers of Provolone and Monterey Jack cheeses, roasted onion and tomatoes on grilled, buttery bread. Served with a cup of Fire-Roasted Red Pepper Soup. ”

My friend ordered the Sizzlin’ Chicken and Shrimp which is described thusly, “ Sautéed garlic-marinated chicken breast with onions and peppers paired with zesty shrimp in a Roma tomato-basil salsa. All served over sizzling American and Mexican cheeses with a side of our signature mashed potatoes.“

So just so you are aware, when they say that the chicken is served over sizzling American and Mexican cheeses…, they aren’t kidding. His entree came on one of those cast iron plates you get fajitas on at Chili’s, and the two kinds of cheeses were sizzled to the bottom of it. I mean, fried and stuck and no chance of getting it off. But, it certainly stayed hidden under the plank of chicken until my friend noticed that there was no cheese – not one kind or two – on top of his chicken, and went digging around for it. But, it was as described in the menu.

And what I got was also on the menu; it just wasn’t what I ordered. Instead of getting the Portobello Mushrooms I really was eager to try, I got the Tuscan Chicken Melt which is the same thing as the Tuscan Portobello Melt, but with chicken and no mushrooms.

Of course, I did not know of the error when the nice lady brought out my lunch and asked me if everything was okay, because I had not bitten into it yet.

Don’t get me wrong, the Tuscan Chicken Melt was great and I highly recommend it as long as you are willing to take a chance on being served the Tuscan Portobello Melt instead.

No, if you are asking if I sent it back, the answer is always no. If you send something back in a restaurant, you are asking for boogers in your food. Plain and simple, end of discussion. But when the girl finally did come back, I did ask her to check my ticket because I didn’t want to be charged for the more expensive chicken when what I ordered was the mushrooms.

Good news, she tells me, we charged you what you ordered, not what you got. Thanks, and with no snot or other residue on the ticket, I’ll even leave you a tip for being sure to clear that up.

Look, I hate to sound whiney, but can we please be a little more like the Red Robin over by The Rim? Hat’s off (no pun intended) to all you TGI Friday’s wait staff and your 37 items of flair, I know it is a tough job but the reason they give you a little pad of paper is so you can write down what people order.

Am I being unreasonable? Tell me about your dining misadventures.

As such, we went to the Garden Ridge on Loop 410 in between Culebra and Ingram, then we went to the original Garden Ridge out on IH-35 near Schertz (and as you might imagine, the small town of Garden Ridge). If you aren’t from San Antonio, think Michaels or Hobby Lobby, but with assloads of pottery.

We can review this daisy craziness later, but the important point of this post is that, you simply cannot go into Garden Ridge anytime after mid-August because they bust out all things Cinnamon and the smell is simply overpowering to anyone with a near-normal ability to smell. I don’t suffer from allergies, but standing within 200 feet of the entry way to Garden Ridge after they have started putting the “Fall Holiday” and “Winter Celebration” collections out, my eyes begin to tear up and I begin having flashbacks of the first time I had to go through gas mask training in the military. No wonder women who do crafts always seem a bit crazy. I mean, just look at Christopher Lowell.

Okay, so aside from the smell, and thankfully, they were only getting ready for the big transition, there are often very interesting people who shop at these places. One time for example, we made the journey and as we shopped around, I encountered a no-kidding, certifiable crazy lady, complete with talking to herself, lashing out at others, and purchasing two shopping carts full of crazy things.

I could fill three pages of the antics that occurred during this event, but I have been trying to ween myself from writing the “F” word, I never use the “C” word to describe private female parts, the suggested sexual actions this woman proposed might be illegal in several states, and without those descriptions, the story just isn’t that interesting. But take my word for it, we live among the shoppers of arts and crafts places and I for one am glad in Texas, we can carry concealed weapons, and it isn’t illegal to take pictures of weird people.

Which gets me to my point. I have on occasion provided you with photographic examples of “What not to wear”, and I’m not quite sure this one falls into that category. This is Texas, and everything in Texas is big. Including our people. Also, Cowboy boots are popular in Texas, so, giddy-up and wear them to church if you care to. Finally, with our close proximity to Mexico and the NAFTA and all that, many women including the hueras find the moo moo house dress to be a comfortable and fashionable design for a day of shopping; but in fairness, this is usually limited to Wal-Mart or perhaps the corner liquor store.

So, as we wandered through our second store in as many hours hoping to find all things Daisy, I tried to avoid looking at anything that would distract me from the main task of getting in and getting the hell out! Sadly, as we were approaching the front of the store in a near attempt to find a spot in line at the cash registers, we nearly bumped into a very arts and crafts oriented lady. In fact, our carts nearly collided because I was suddenly preoccupied with trying to mentally evaluate how I would discreetly get a picture of this without being so obvious as to warrant investigation by store security.

My wife is no stranger to my antics, so she immediately found cause to find the ladies’ and left me to maneuver in and out of aisles of various housewares, table cloths, cloth napkins and the like, as I tried to appear as normal a shopper as one can be in one of these freak-farms, while not losing sight of the lady in the blue-Mexican moo moo and pointy shit kicker-like cowboy boots. The only thing that could have been better would if she was wearing a small hat. Not necessarily a cowboy hat to match the boots or a sombrero to match the dress; it could have been a fancy party hat or even a top-hat – she could not have looked any goofier to start with, but it would have really been a gem in my eyes.

So after the brief game of cat & mouse and several sets of cloth napkins that wouldn’t possibly match our dining room table, I made a few valiant attempts at capturing this fine specimen on the camera, purely for instructional purposes. Just then, my wife caught up to me and said that she could not find me, what with my stealth techniques of blending in, and covert ways of seeking out three crappy pictures with my blurry, unfocused camera, so she simply looked for the oddly dressed lady in the blue moo moo, and there I was.

We did end up buying some daisies, some glasses and a bag of M&M’s, and then we got out!

I’m not in the construction trade, but what guy would pass up the opportunity to be like Bob Vila for a few weeks while making a few dollars? If you are familiar with the neighborhoods in between IH-10 and Loop 410 between Vance-Jackson and West Avenue, you get the idea of where I am talking about.

My brother-in-law, Junior as we call him, works in the trades business. He is certainly a jack of all trades and can do electrical, plumbing, general construction, and he has also done repair of restaurant equipment and other things. This is no free advertisement or anything – so please don’t e-mail me asking to see if I can get you a good rate. During the time of this story, we had been working to refurbish several rental properties around the city and had a few different property managers and Realtors that would call us for bids.

So anyway, he calls me and asks me if I can go look at a property to help him assess the situation. He says that this Realtor has a property that was vacated by the renters and that the house needs to be cleaned up. Now keep in mind, you all know that when people leave a rental property, they usually just un-ass, take the stuff they want and leave the rest. The result is, the landlord is stuck with hauling out the trash, getting rid of a dead couch and cleaning things up. A few guys and a pick-up truck can usually clear out a house in no time.

The Realtor said that “Before you make your bid, you really need to go look at the place.” Junior was pretty adamant that he could get the job done for less than $500.00. The Realtor again said, “No, you need to see the place”.

You have no doubt heard of cat ladies that have 68 cats living in a house, crapping everywhere, newspapers piled up, opened cans of cat food sitting all over the place. This was worse. No cats.

The people who lived in the house were no doubt sick.

When I first peered through the window, I though I might be in beer drinker’s heaven. It was this experience which taught me to take my camera with me everywhere I go. If I had the camera to take pictures, you might find it easier to believe this.

This 3 bedroom, 2-bath house was a sea of beer cans and trash piled 2 feet high. But, they had small paths leading to strategic locations like the refrigerator, the bathroom, and the front door. I refused to enter the house for fear of rats. The beer cans and the 18-pack cardboard cases were left in place as if the occupants had simply arranged to have a non-stop supply of beer delivered, and that they sat there and drank one beer, dropped the can and opened the next. When the first case was finished, they simply opened the next and so on and so on until their was an 1,800 square foot house full of beer cans, pizza boxes, dirty laundry, discarded tissues and so on.

Oh, the bathrooms were a hoot. And yes, beer cans in the bathrooms. The walls of the shower stall and the tub were covered in mold. And for some reason, they stopped putting the toilet paper in the toilet – they just wiped their butts and threw the toilet paper on the floor. Perhaps they had visited Mexico and decided to be exotic or something.

So, long story short, Junior had to hire some other workers he found to clear out the entire house. In addition to $650.00, he told them they could take anything that wasn’t nailed down that they wanted (nice side by side refrigerator at Best Buy – $1,200 – the mold encased version, free). These guys came in with gloves, masks, shovels and a huge truck and cleared the place in a matter of hours.

You can empty the contents, but you can’t empty the filth. That’s when I showed up with a power washer. Bob Vila would never recommend using a power washer inside a house on solid wood floors and sheetrock. I march to the beat of a different drummer I suppose.

The worst part was when I aimed the power washer at one of the toilets.

Big mistake.

Apparently, when they decided that the toilet was running too much, they decided to turn off the water supply to it. Well, apparently, that didn’t stop someone from taking a dump in it. By the time I got there with my power washer, the poop in the pot had dried. Dried feces and 2300 psi from the power washer equals a whole new game of foul smelling doo-doo flying back at you.

Thank God I have fast reflexes. But I could not dodge the smell. I literally threw up on the spot.

I ran out of the house and threw up in the yard. I waited a few minutes to regain my composure and decided to go in for another whiff. I threw up again.

In the end, I had to hold my breath long enough to get a hose through the bathroom window into the toilet so I could try to clear things up. I let the hose run full blast for 15 minutes before it cleared the funk from the bathroom. Oh, it was a total of 4 times that I threw up.

Okay, three days later, the house was clean and the real estate lady did not even recognize the place. She was in shock. Turns out, it was her house and she had been letting her daughter and her family live there, and the reason the house was vacated was that she had moved them into a new house she bought in a nicer neighborhood.

Attention residents of Stone Oak: Your new neighbor is Joe Dirt!

I did a quick exit back onto Broadway and headed north adjacent to the airport and made my way to Wurzbach Parkway which turns into Bitters Road. It was my plan to take West Bitters out to 1604 and back home that way.

Things were running quite smoothly until we rounded the bin and saw 555 West Bitters which is the address of The Shops at Artisans Alley. I have wanted to stop in there for some time and just never did, so we figured it was worth a few minutes of our time.

I should caveat this with the fact that, I dress for comfort on weekends and usually avoid anyplace where I feel as though I might need to dress up. For example, I avoid North Star Mall and still have not set foot on the property of The Shoppes at La Cantera, for fear that some fashion security guard may apprehend me for failing to meet a minimum shoe style requirement or wearing shorts that come from a sporting goods store, and not a fancy online place. So you can appreciate my relief when we walked up the ramp to enter the place, and there was a not so pretty, not so fashionable lady standing there smoking a cigarette. Thank God I thought, no pretentious people here!

The best way to describe it is, it appears that somebody pushed together a bunch of old buildings on piers, then built a corrugated aluminum and fiberglass roof over the combined structures and connected the separate shops with a wooden deck. In essence, they built a micro-version of Bussey’s flea market on stilts, and filled it with real shoppes and very few drunk people. And the people at this place also bathe regularly.

The stores included an actual tea room, a few restaurants and some antiques and furniture places, and a nice gallery we looked in called Hacienda. We also looked in a place called Tuscany that contained lots of items that you would imagine in a place called, Tuscany. Our last stop was a huge Antiques shop called Back Alley Antiques. This place is not for the faint hearted. These people have some seriously nice furniture. Aside from the fact that most of the tables and beds I liked came with the price tag of a quality used car, I could easily understand how someone would pay to outfit their home with this really high quality, well cared for old stuff. If you have any interest in furniture or antiques, you owe it to yourself to visit.

Bring the Brinks truck with you.

In fairness, we didn’t stay to look at all the shops, in fact, of about 20 different stores and restaurants, we only stopped in three or four, but if you enjoy nice, artsy sort of things or are simply looking for an idea or little something to perk up your house, I’d say it is worth a try.

We’ll definitely go back and try to check out a few more stores and maybe try out Bin 555, which a freind tells me is a great place to eat.

Got any new places I can go without putting on a Tux? Tell me about it.

I turned south on Blanco and was going to zip downtown, find a good cross street and get over to Alamo Heights. I don’t mind cruising the back streets for a new adventure and of course, we found one.

Just as we came upon Oblate, my wife screamed for me to turn. I recognized the area, because years earlier, we had done some sort of marriage encounter concentration camp-like seminar where they make you go and confront yourselves. How could one forget that good time?

Anywho, more important than that, this beautiful spread of land carved out of the hustle and bustle of Blanco Junction (no relation to Petticoat Junction, I trust), is this wonderful sanctuary with well manicured lawns, peaceful walks, and a grotto. Our Lady of Lourdes Grotto of the Southwest to be precise.

I must report that I become somewhat skiddish when walking the grounds of Holy places. I can’t explain it, but I immediately go into Library-mode, you know, no talking, eyes cast downward for fear that a librarian or Nun might see you looking at something you shouldn’t, and perhaps this is why when I had a problem with my camera, it was a bit unnerving that I somehow blurted out, “son of a bitch” at full volume. My wife launched into immediate prayer and had we been closer to the Holy Water spigot, I surely would have been doused for cause.

You don’t have to be all hopped up on religion or specifically be Catholic to appreciate the beauty of this place, and you certainly won’t find one of the Oblate Missionaries standing there collecting an entrance fee. If you ever just want to take a peaceful walk around the grounds and maybe go into the new gift shop conveniently located nearby,I think it will be a half-hour or so of time well spent.

In case your potty-mouth doesn’t allow you to go, here are some pictures.

A few nice sculptures to enjoy.