Apparently the erstwhile boy band is releasing a new album today, and someone decided to catalog their glorious past. This caught my eye because growing up, I had to endure a younger sister who worshiped NKOTB (look it up kids!).

Her and noted Van Buren Boy/mining expert Stephanie used to fight over their band-themed bedding. Let me tell you, Kabul has nothing on two 8-year-old girls fighting over a boy band.

Anyway, this entire post makes me hate the musical clusterfark that was pop music in the mid 90’s, but the pictures are terrific – just click the link above. Poor Lou Pearlman! (Interesting Trivia Items I Learned While Googling Lou Pearlman: He grew up in Flushing and is a first cousin of Art Garfunkel).

(via BuzzFeed)

Es riecht wieder streng nach Backfisch in Schöneberg.

Nachdem es schon vor 2 Jahren massiv Ärger gab mit den Fans von Tariq Jay Khan, droht den Bewohnern der Straßenecke Koburger Str./Heylstraße in Berlin-Schöneberg neuer Teenie-Terror.

Seit Wochen lungern sie auf der Straße. Junge picklige, meist mollige pubertierende Mädchen, und es werden täglich mehr. Der Grund – einen Blick, ein Foto, eine Umarmung erheischen von Jay – jenen dunkelhaarigen, tätowierten US5-Mitglied, der derzeit eine Alibi-Beziehung mit dem Heidi-Klum-Opfer Lena Gehrke führt.

Es gilt Wache zu halten; es sind immer mindestens 2 Mädchen vor Ort, ausgerüstet mit Kamera und Handy, jederzeit bereit, den Rest der Zahnspangen-Armee zu kontaktieren.
Es gibt Wochen, an denen sich nichts tut und es gibt Tage wie gestern, an dem man doppelt Glück hat. Erst kommt Richie, der sich gern mal auf dem Klo des Sage-Club einen blasen ließ, natürlich nicht von einem Mädchen und dann kommt ein wenig später auch noch Jay.

Zu diesem Zeitpunkt ist die kleine Straße in Schöneberg fest in der Hand der Minderjährigen, denn am Vormittag wurde bekannt, dass sich die beiden im Gebäude aufhalten. Jay wohnt inzwischen zwar nicht mehr in der Penthouse-Wohnung, jedoch besteht noch eine innige Beziehung zu den aktuellen Mietern. Es handelt sich hierbei um den JamFM-DJ “DJ OGB”, mit richtigem Namen Frederik Bund (unter anderem Co-Produzent von US5), dessen Beziehung zu Jay vermutlich mehr als nur freundschaftlich ist.

Aber das ist den kleinen Mädchen egal. Ihnen kommt noch nicht einmal der Gedanke, dass Jay schwul sein könnte. Sie leben in ihrer heteronormativen Traumwelt, in der nicht sein kann, was nicht sein darf. Und das ist auch durchaus so gewollt. Schlechter Geschmack ist halt massentauglich.

US5 ist das Produkt der Besetzungscouch von Lou Pearlman, von dem man weiß, dass er einem Castingkanditaten gern eine zweite Chance gab – gegen gewisse Gegenleistungen. Ich möchte nicht behaupten, dass alle US5-Mitglieder mit ihm Sex haben mussten, aber die Chance ist groß. Allen Mitgliedern seiner Boybands wie Backtreet-Boys, N’Sync oder Natural war es strengstens untersagt, sich zu outen, denn man müsse die Illusion für die potentiellen Käufer aufrecht erhalten.

Jener Lou Pearlman hat einmal gesagt, dass er das Geschäft mit diesen Boy-Retortenbands so lange machen wird, so lange Gott kleine Mädchen erschafft. Nun, von diesen kleinen Mädchen gibt es noch genug – man sieht es aller Tage in dieser kleinen Nebenstraße in der Nähe des Innsbrucker Platzes.

Jedoch sitzt Lou Pearlman inzwischen eine 25jährige Haftstrafe wegen Betrugs ab. Man kann nur hoffen, dass es im Knast keine kleinen Jungs für ihn gibt.

You’ve made it your 30s, and you’ve most likely lived through the 70s, 80s, and 90s.  This means you’ve lived through a whole bunch of trends that have all come and gone.  So, you’ve got that going for you… which is nice.

Living through trends doesn’t necessary mean anything, that is until they start coming back.  Let’s just take a good look at fashion.  Personally, I’m starting to see more and more of the 80s influence on current fashion trends.  If  memory serves me correctly (and it does), it was really a terrible time for looking “cool”.  Don’t believe me, watch the Warriors, the Last Dragon, or  Breakin.  This was a bad fashion time, but trend makers are bringing them back.

Need more proof, I’ll be happy to provide you with more.  All that you really need to do is walk through a toy store, and you’ll think that you stepped into a futuristic version of your childhood.  Children can play with Transformers, G.I. Joe, Strawberry Shortcake, Speed Racer, and  lots more.  For the most part, there are changes to the characters, but they’re basically the same.  I mean, what parent doesn’t want their child to play with the same toys as them.  But, can you imagine if your parents gave you Howdy Doody?

It’s the age of repackaging, and the past is in high demand.  So, I’m here to remind you of trends that you’ve lived through, and can expect to see age:

1. Grunge:  Maybe not the whole over-educated, under-motivated slacker movement, but instead reach deep into the closet to pull out those flannel shirts.  All of these form fitting clothes will have their backlash, and the baggy look will be back.  You’ve lived through and probably still have the silly hat and Frisbee.
2. Rock-n-Roll:  The rumors of it’s death have been exaggerated.  This decade, that has terrible bands like Nickelback, as the highest selling rock groups will soon realize the mistake.  Soon, a new sound or band or movement will push rock back out into the forefront.  It’s true, it’ll be hip again to like rock.
3. Ferbie:  Don’t be surprised if Ferbie looks a little different and is a little bit smarter.  Sure, that cute, battery powered fluff ball was great to teach, but we’ll see a huge draw when they introduce iFerbie.  It will not only learn how to talk from you (which will most likely be in a hybrid text language), but it will recommend music, television shows, and edit your home movies.  Go ahead and start lining up for this one.
4. Boy Bands:  I would love to believe that this would never happen again, but the New Kids on the Block are touring right now.  It’s not that much longer before the Backstreet Boys realize they’re broke and need a reunion tour.  Truthfully, this might be slower, with Lou Pearlman in jail, but there are always boy bands.  Just give them time, and they’ll churn out some annoying, generic pop music.  Trust me, Disney will make it happen because there are tweens out there who don’t have their “boy band”.

So, 30-somethings, consider yourself warned because these will come back.  You can proudly say that you’re ahead of the game.  Still, I know that I’m missing one or two of the trends that will come back.  What am I forgetting, what are we going to see again?

We all remember the obvious… ‘NSYNC, BSB, NKOTB.  But, what about the others?  Although boy bands are forgotten, these boy bands are even more forgotten.  The B-List Boy Bands if you will…

BBMak:  Mark Barry, Christian Burns, Stephen McNally were an English pop group that was around between 1999 and 2003.  They were well known for their single, “Back Here” and for appearing in conjuction with several Disney projects; Lizzie McGuire, Princess Diaries, and Even Stevens.  The boys have all been pursuing solo careers since the break up.

Dream Street:  These boys were industry saavy 11-14 year old boys thrown together to make a supergroup.  There time together lasted from 1999-2002.  By boy band standards they were a flop but I can’t get that damn “It Happens Everytime” out of my head.  The band ended in a lawsuit and their founders dabbling in little boy porn.  We did get Jesse McCartney out of all this though…

O-Town:  A product of MTV’s first season of Making of the Band that lasted from 2000-2003.  They got more attention for their reality show than their music and their demise came with the members “growing apart” and financial woes mosting due to their manager Lou Pearlman.  (The guarenteed demise of all boy bands)

2ge+her:  Can’t talk about boy bands without mentioning the This is Spinal Tap of boy bands.  This group became through their MTV movie and TV series.  They even went on tour with Britney Spears!  The run from 199-2001 was short due to the untimely death of their youngest member and “the cute one” Michael Cuccione.

Anyone remember 3LW? (Three Little Women) Yeah, not many people remember them. They didn’t stand out, that said-consider their competition. Destiny’s Child with Beyoncé (who is still gaining fame) and Dream and TLC (with the late Left Eye) most of my Music Issue ~ Part 1 was pretty much all about TLC, so I’ll try to keep them out.
Back to 3LW, they only had two notable hits, “No More (Baby I’ma Do Right)” and “Playas Gon’ Play” they features 3 members, two of whom are now part of the Cheetah Girls (A Disney band) and the other, Naturi is going to be releasing a debut album in 2009 (she was the member who left the group, turning the group into a mockery) 3LW was called 2LW by the press because there were only 2 people left. They tried to get another member, but by then there was no return. They didn’t have enough urban appeal apparently, I thought Williams was pretty cool, I think they need to separate themselves more, personally. It just seems like they would’ve been so easy to lump them in with ‘girl bands’ I have their 2 hits songs and I always forget, oops. They weren’t a bad group, I thought the vocals were pretty good, but they needed a real image, especially during that time.

Destiny’s Child was one talented group that I enjoyed. I loved their “Say My Name” song and I adore how they harmonize so perfectly. It’s also so amazing to me, how half of the group was terminated and they still rose. LaTavia Roberson and LeToya Luckett were replaced with Farrah Franklin and Michelle Williams. Apparently they had replaced them without them knowing it, they were negative against their manager claiming he was playing favorites. When the video for “Say My Name” came out-they weren’t in it. BURN! Sorry, but it had to be said. They had been replaced. Of course Destiny’s Child would drop Farrah Franklin due to her lacking interest in the group and apparently missing 3 major dates. Say My Name was totally Beyoncé dominated if you ask me, I think Roberson and Luckett were being reasonable. I don’t really see Rowland being really favored. Even in Jumpin’ Jumpin’ you see alot more Beyoncé than the other members. Although you do see the other members, it’s mostly Beyoncé. Beyoncé seems to get the most solo video time-meaning that there are more times when it’s just Beyoncé on screen with no one else compared to the other members. I do see a little Kelly favoritism in this, but it’s not all that noticible. No, No, No, Part 2 and I’ve noticed something, it’s pretty much Beyoncé singing with the others doing backup. I did see a little Kelly favoritism. I guess destiny’s child was Beyoncé, since “Destiny’s Child” is singular. Bills, Bills, Bills. It seems like the video is pretty close, but once again Beyoncé is singing everything. LaToya and LaTavia were just speaking the truth in my opinion, sad they were kicked out. It really sucks when stuff like this happens, and yes, Beyoncé has talent, don’t get me wrong, but at the beginning she needed work, and I think the pressure of her being the main star helped her refine her singing ability, but it wasn’t fair for the other members. Now who’s left? Who’s the big name? Who’s livin’ large? Beyoncé, because she was favored, I don’t think Beyoncé is really to blame, I give the blame to her father, he was the manager after all. He would have the most power in my opinion and favoring Beyoncé was a selfish thing, he clearly didn’t give a second thought to the other members, or why would be drop members to easily only to pick two more up and then drop another again? That’s not how most bands break up, usually once a member leaves the whole group just falls apart, because the members have equal parts in the group and if one of them left there would be an actual impact on the group, unlike this case, in which, Beyoncé was the single star.

Dream, anyone remember them, I really liked “This is Me” and “He Loves U Not” but other than that they were pretty bland in my opinion. There wasn’t anything special or interesting about them. Their sophomore album never hit stores due to lack of promotion, but you can get it via iTunes. They were involved in a suit in which Fontaine & Daughters Productions tried to sue Diddy (the guy who made them “big” I guess) but of course they were minors and terminated their contract with F&D Prod. long before they even met Diddy. It was the fact they were minors that F&D lost the suit. Apparently they’ve switched members drastically and are coming out again under the name Lady Phoenix. Melissa Shuman and Ashley Poole apparently tried to get all of the old members back to do a reunion, but they couldn’t, hence Lady Phoenix. “. On July 29, 2008, a new Dream created an official profile on YouTube, and have recently uploaded several new videos of the two remaining members singing cover songs.^[6] Their YouTube profile states that they will be returning soon and that the auditioning process will begin from the YouTube profile itself. This time Dream features Jordan McCoy, Hunter Pecunia and new members Imaj (God daughter of Betty Wright), Michelle Keaton and Lindsay Taylor (17,13 and 19 respectively) and it seems as if they are keeping the same pop flavor as before while Lady Phoenix is turning to a more revival style from the mid 20th century.” (Wiki) I’m actually pretty curious of how Lady Phoenix will turn out, there’s something called “Sneaking up on Lady Phoenix” on YouTube, but they obviously weren’t being snuck up on, it was pretty obvious the whole thing was planned in my opinion, I mean, if you’re in the middle of singing and this huge camera comes doing close ups right in your face, wouldn’t you stop and be like “Uhh….hey, what’s up? hah hah…awkward moment” instead they just keep singing. They seem to have really powerful voices, but will it debut and be successful is another story, you can have a powerful voice, but if it isn’t pretty, chances are it’s not going to sell well, and that would be my only issue with the group. Also, since they’re keeping some of the members from the previous band and adding some new people, well, it just doesn’t seem well planned out in my opinion. Think about it, half of the group knows each other well and are probably close like sisters, otherwise they wouldn’t have bothered getting back together. and Yes, it is as simple as that. Not to mention the other girls know what it’s like to perform and have deadlines and all the pressure of having the spotlight on them, as brief a period of time it was. While the other girls (probably) don’t really know each other, aren’t used to the pressure of society and aren’t used to the grueling schedules that dance classes and choreography tend to be.

I was probably the only girl back in elementary school who adored both the Backstreet Boys AND N*SYNC and still couldn’t tell them apart. Of course then they all break up and Justin because a manwhore with his songs UGH! Apparently they had both been financed by Lou Pearlman (who also sponsored US5, O-Town, LFO) he’s in jail now, for 25 years for owing over $300 million in debt due to a pyramid scheme. Ah, well, I still love listening too both of them on an almost regular basis. It’s ridiculous in some ways, but so terribly nostalgic in others, not to mention people around my age will start singing, usually girls, there have been cases with guys singing with me. It’s actually quite funny, something more embarrassing is that my iTunes is on shuffle and just turned to “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” By Backstreet Boys.

Hoku, anyone remember her. She sang ‘Perfect Day” in Disney’s film “Snow Day” apparently ‘Another Dumb Blonde’ is in it, I don’t remember. Hoku apparently came out with a mini album in 2007 (at least according to iTunes) and it’s really good. I mean it’s totally new and clearly well done, it seems really passionately done. It’s good music it’s not fast paced though (I tend to go for fast paced music and I’m not talking about techno) I’m really glad that she seems to be doing well, it’s good to see her get out of that teenage bubble gum pop stage. It’s nice to know she can grow into an artist. I hope she gets more promotion, I know it was only a mini album, but I think if she re-debuted it might help sales since my friend mentioned “Perfect Day” by her the other day and I said, “Hey, did you know Hoku has a mini-album out?” and she had no idea, I didn’t know either until I randomly looked her up on iTunes one day. I just listened to “Another Dumb Blonde” Compared to some of the music on her most recent work, and it’s a total 180. The sound is so mature and beautiful, I highly recommend it.

B*Witched, I never realized how sketchy “C’est La Vie” was, I was young and thought “Ooh, catchy music” I remember my friend had the casette of first album B*Witched I was so jealous and thought she was the luckiest girl ever. Eventually my sister got the CD, and needless to say, I still have it, haha, I’m sure she doesn’t even notice with such an reliance on her iPod, not that I’m one to talk, the only reason why I even notice if I’m missing something is if my computer deletes it AND my iPod deletes and then it’s like where’s the CD? Or in some cases it’s where the heck did I get that song? Because I distinctly remember not ever having the CD. Anyway, I digress, I remember them, the adorable Irish girl band, I loved “C’est La Vie” and maybe it’s all that Children’s Lit. class that exposed my mind to the true nature of some of the children stories. I will never look at Little Red Riding Hood the same way again. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” “Let the fun begin hey/I’m the wolf today/I’ll huff I’ll puff/ I’ll huff I’ll Puff I’ll blow you away” “Do you play with the girls? Play with the boys?/Do you ever get lonley playing with your toys” Maybe it is High School, but I can’t help but shake the feeling that there were some underlying-um, elements? It’s not exactly a subtle thing.

Spice Girls, Spice Girls, Spice Girls. My oh, My, where on earth do I begin? I never realized how trashy they dressed, I knew that I didn’t like how Gerry dressed, but I don’t think I really understood why, I think I said her dresses where too short and I didn’t like them. I had the Spice Girl barbie dolls, I had Sporty Spice, Posh Spice, and Scary Spice, my friend had Geri & Baby so it worked out really well, since when we got together we were able to play the Spice Girls with the complete set. I remember Sporty was my all-time favorite, she was just the coolest thing to me, I liked the red & black hair she had and I also really liked her nose ring, I thought it was so cool at the time. I remember telling my mom I want one and she was like no way in Hell, well, she said maybe when I was older, but we all know what our parents reactions would be if we came to them in 4th grade asking for a nose piercing. It was a similar response when I asked for red streaks in my hair-it still is actually. I’m only allowed to do highlights, I remember wanted to bleach my hair a few years ago and I’m glad I wasn’t allowed to. Anyway, I bought their “Greatest Hits” -well, my mom did actually, it was for Christmas one year and it had recently come out and I was such a huge fan my mom knew and remembered. Of course it was “Only Buy at Victoria’s Secret” at least at the moment, I’m sure after a couple of weeks you could buy it elsewhere. But I really hated that store, now it’s just like a mosquito, I’d rather not bother with it. So she had gone into the store and gotten it for me. I didn’t like one of the new songs “Headlines” and guess who else said the song was terrible and didn’t even wanted it released? Mel. C. yeah, that’s right Sporty Spice! Holla. Okay, I totally did not just say that. I liked some of Melanie C.’s solo work such as “Northern Star” and “Never Be the Same Again” and “I Turn to You” May I just take a moment to say Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes of TLC helped Mel C. to co-write and Rap for “Never Be The Same Again”. Anyway, I remember giving my Posh doll a hair cut, is that even possible? There was like no hair on her to begin with, most of it was glued to her head, but the funny thing about being young and reckless is… there is always a way to give a hair cut to anyone and anything regardless of the lack of hair. I remember one day I took out Mel C.’s nose ring and lost it, it was a tragic day. So many memories regarding this group. I could go on even last year, around the beginning of the year when there was still snow on the ground there was a sleep over at my house. We blasted Spice Girls and everyone except two girls sang along, and for one it was because her mom never let her listen to the Spice Girls and the other girl? She didn’t speak English well at all, let alone sing it, they’re both awesome though.

PLAY- “I must not chase the boys” I love the music video for it, it’s so amazing. You need to see it, I love it. The make up, the costumes, the setting, how it’s played out-everything. I enjoy PLAY, not too much, but enough, if anything though, I can’t remember them, the name just doesn’t stick out. They were a Swedish band and they kind of remind me of this new band I’ve seen commercials for “Creamy.dk” (only called that in America, I think it’s just “Creamy” outside of America) I miss them a little bit,, I hope they come back, it would be nice. I liked the vocals and songs enough, they had so much more oomph than Dream. Both of the bands seemed to have similar looks, that being the average teenager, but in the music videos PLAY would change and the songs just had this piece of rhythm and it sounded more passionate than Dream, which really isn’t saying much. When Dream sings it reminds me of someone tiptoeing in a room trying not to wake people, it was as if they were so careful to have good vocals they ended up sounding like they were trying. and maybe they were trying, but the fact is, if you’re a star, it doesn’t matter how hard you’re trying, you can’t let other people know that, you have to make everyone else think that you’re just naturally amazing. PLAY seems to do this far better than Dream. Like in PLAY’s Us Against the World music video, they look like normal girls, but they go on with these (cheesy) super hero look, like they’re karate masters or something, but it was a really entertaining song, especially for that age when the word ‘rebel’ starts popping up in your head. I also really liked their song “Cinderella” I thought it was a good message and a great song I thought. “I don’t wanna be like Cinderella, sittin’ in a dark old dusty cellar” “Don’t want to depend on no one else, I’d rather rescue myself” I like the lyrics, just because there are too many songs that have the girl dictate her life around boys, be it, angry because of betrayal, wanting a boys attention, hoping for their prince charming to come one day, etc. So for a girl to say I don’t need you it a powerful statement, I don’t think Spice Girls (the Girl Power group) had that kind of say, it was “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends” it was saying that he, whoever he may be, has to get along with her friends. Nothing like a I don’t need you, it was simply higher standards, which really are needed nowadays. People put up with so much crap on both ends, overly high maintenance girls and boys who are just too manly, in the sense of being rude and gross, you can’t have extremes people, find a nice medium.

Have I told you I’m the worst when it comes to nostalgia?

"Hey, we're just five guys of way different ages from five different backgrounds and five different parts of the country who became really good buddies and, like, totally wrote all these songs and got sickeningly famous. Oh, and Lance is totally not gay."

Musically, the 1990s were about three things:

1) Grunge (read: Kobain).

2) G-funk rap (read: Dre).

3) Boy bands (read: Lou Pearlman)

Pearlman was the manager and “creator” of N’Sync (please watch this) and the Backstreet Boys. According to Pearlman’s wikipedia entry, he “perpetrated one of the biggest and longest running Ponzi schemes in American history.” Also, he bilked investors out of millions by “investing” their money in a company that didn’t, you know, actually exist*.

*This false company, by the way, was a freaking airline. How do you get swindled on that? All you have to do is try to book a flight on Trans Continental Airlines and you’ll soon realize there is no Trans Continental Airlines.

It’s debatable whether this, or the Backstreet Boys, was the bigger crime.

Before we go any further, I think it’s important to mention that these bands didn’t totally suck. With the exception of Joey Fatone* and the tall guy in Backstreet, these guys could really sing (‘Nsync’s Christmas album is — and I’m not kidding here — the best Christmas album I’ve ever heard).

*What was Joey Fatone’s contribution to ‘Nsync, anyway? No girl I ever heard of thought he was good looking. He wasn’t a good singer. My sisters, 12 and 10 years old, would routinely lampoon his dancing. It’s like they kept him around just to rope in the New Jersey/Long Island demographic. It was kind of like McCain picking Sarah Palin for VP to get the women’s vote, except that it wasn’t like that at all.

The only megastar to come out of the Boy Band Era has been Justin Timberlake, who has had the greatest career possible for a Mouseketeer. He’s the ultimate. Think about this.

• At age, like, 14, he’s an international sensation, irrefutably the most desired member of the most desired group in the world.
• In 1999, at age 18, he starts dating the most desirable woman in the world, Britney Spears, when she was in her absolute prime.
• In 2002, just before Britney goes crazy, she (probably) cheats on him, giving him a get out of jail free card, which he cashes in immediately. He promptly writes “Cry me a River,” one of the most devastating revenge songs of all time, totally re-inventing himself with an R&B album that is universally loved.
• From 2002-2009, becomes one of the top three or four R&B artists in the world, accepted by black people as one of their own and generally compared favorably to Usher, the most popular R&B singer of his generation.
• Meanwhile, Britney begins dating perhaps the world’s most unlikable hanger-on, Kevin Federline, even bearing his children, then getting fat, shaving her head and checking in and out of various mental facilities in a downward spiral that bottomed out with comedians making jokes about her vagina.

Can we say round one goes to Timberlake?

The ironic problem for the rest of the boy-banders was that their audience — preteen to high school girls — doesn’t actually give a rip whether they can sing or not. Some scientists maintain that adolescent girls actually have worse taste in music than the Germans. Others disagree, saying that’s like saying something is colder than absolute zero. But you get the point. As we’ve seen in the 2000s, having actual talent is not a prerequisite for popularity as a musician.

It's more about wearing weird hats and being black.

The boy band appeal was mainly, as almost everything is, about sex. The interesting thing is that boy bands became wildly popular and girl bands never really caught on, even though the basic appeal should be the same, right?

The difference is in the way men and women (boys and girls) feel attraction. It is almost impossible to get any group of women to agree on which man in a particular context (the entire world, for example) is the most attractive. Their feelings of attraction are subject to so many different factors — personality, mannerism, social background, women they’ve been linked to — that you can’t have just one guy and expect broad appeal.

The reason girl groups generally don’t succeed is that men base their attraction — at least as far as people they’ll never meet is concerned — on almost purely visual information. And this isn’t nearly as subjective as you might think, meaning that men will almost always universally agree on which member of, say, Destiny’s Child, is most attractive, and ignore the rest.

Ask 10 different girls who the best-looking boy in their school is, and you’re probably getting six or seven different answers with huge discrepancies in those opinions (a boy one girl thinks is ridiculously good looking another will describe as “gross”). Ask 10 boys about the girls, and you’re probably getting two or three different answers, but even among those three, there will be a general agreement that “it’s close.”

So your best bet when concocting a boy band is to cover all your bases, even if one of those bases is the New Jersey demographic.

Honestly?

This is why 98 Degrees was generally a failure. The other two hosers were so out of place that nobody thought Nick Lachey wasn’t the best-looking guy in the band.

Well, that, and their being a blatant attempt to cash in on a hot genre, which, regardless of the genre, usually works well enough to sell one mediocre album (read: “G Funk Classics, Vol. 1: Ghetto Preacher,” Nate Dogg) but not two (read: “G Funk Classics. Vol. 1 & 2,” Nate Dogg).

And it is at this point that the whole thing comes back around to Pearlman, the first guy to craft a reality show about the making of a band that nobody would ever like. He called this show, “Making the Band.”

They made the band, and also crappy music. (Guy in the middle: "I can't believe they're making me wear this.")

This show, producing the boy band O-Town, which would ultimately murder the boy band genre, was interesting at the time because our society wasn’t used to reality television yet, so we thought that the stuff that happened on the show was, like, totally organic and that the ultimate goal of the show was to actually create a band.

Now we know that the “Making the Band” shows have virtually nothing to do with actually composing  a band. The band is little more than a theme around which the producers can assemble crazy people and have them tear their each other’s clothes off and throw up on the carpet. Other such themes are “love,” “learning manners” and “having sex with Bret Michaels.” If they accidentally sell a few records at the end, even better.

Once we realized that nobody actually wanted to listen to O-Town’s music, the jig was up with the boy band genre. It became obvious that O-Town and ‘Nsync were just different flavors of Lou Pearlman’s ball sweat. And it was all over, conveniently, in the year 2000.

I literally have that little bit of vomit anticipating its launch into the back of my throat as I push these keys on my email machine.  Here’s a little HG about Lou Pearlman, or Greasy Lou - if you’re nasty.  Lou is the mastermind behind NSYNC, The Backstreet Boys, and O-Town among several other boy bands.  He’s now being investigated for making inappropriate advances at some of the kids under his management.  There’s an excerpt after the jump and I’ll get back to the reflux in a minute:

“He wanted to [seduce] everyone. He wanted to [seduce] everyone there … he’s disgusting,” Rich Cronin (LFO) told Howard Stern on his radio show on Wednesday (January 21), when he stopped by to promote his new album, Billion Dollar Sound. “He needed you to sing a little bit, but really he just wanted you to be good-looking.” ….

“I’ve had to go to therapy … he’s really a creepy guy,” Cronin said after describing Pearlman’s “wonderland for guys” mansion, which was full of Star Wars memorabilia. He added that Pearlman’s attention was invasive to say the least.

“He goes, ‘You could be a star … take off your shirt.’ Then he’s like, ‘Turn around,’ ” Cronin recalled. “He’s massaging my shoulders and he’s like, ‘You wanna watch “Top Gun”?’ “

Of all the ‘Catch a Prededator’ pick up lines I’ve seen, the Top Gun one is truly the winner!  It really reminds me of a day at work years and years ago when a newly hired, old (like 50), meth teeth waiter came up to me and asked, ‘Why do they call you BJ?’.  Thank you old guy; instead of the fond thoughts I used to associate with my initials, now I cringe anytime someone recognizes that my parents didn’t have good judgement in putting together my life long acronym!

‘You wanna watch “Camp”?’

It seems from reports I’ve read that an alternative rock band from Orlando known as Biteboy, is attempting to turn the death of Caylee Anthony into fame and fortune for itself through the tragedy.

It seems that the band has written a song calling for a confession from Casey Anthony and believes that it is not exploiting the tragedy.

After reading this, I look forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts on this one!

From the New York Daily News:

Biteboy, a group that lists convicted felon/boy-band impresario Lou Pearlman as a consultant, has penned a tune calling for a confession from Casey Anthony, Caylee’s mother and the prime suspect in the 2-year-old’s killing.

“My son Ricky [Namey, the band’s lead singer] lives across the street from the Orange County Jail, where Casey’s being kept,” Rick Namey told us. “That gave them the idea for this song.”

Poppa Namey, the band’s manager and a “pal” of Pearlman’s, sees nothing wrong with abhorrently exploiting the slaying of the tot, because he thinks Biteboy is essentially a newspaper. Um, what?

“[Caylee and Casey Anthony are] the biggest news story in the world, and Biteboy writes news. We’re media,” Namey said. Asked how a band could be considered a media organization, Namey responded, “Bob Dylan won the Pulitzer Prize. Music is media.” (Namey is referring to an honorary Pulitzer that Dylan received in April.)

“When you put out a record, it’s called a pressing. So we’re press,” Namey continued. “Biteboy is the same thing as a newspaper. Our songs are our op-ed pages. And freedom of the press is for everyone, man.”

But Biteboy has gone even further in its quest for attention. Namey said the band did a “roll-up” at Casey Anthony’s house when she was out of jail. “That’s when we show up on a trailer, play our song and split before the cops come, since they never give us permits,” Namey said. “Biteboy taunted her to do a benefit for missing children.”

He had no response when asked if he thinks his marketing tactic is vile, and instead stated that he’s looking to point out the “hypocrisy and double standards of media.

We consider Biteboy to be media. So why is it cheap and tawdry when we cover a story, but not when Nancy Grace does? She’s making millions in advertising from covering the same story.”

But if Biteboy smashed that double standard, who would ever care about its shock tactics?

“There may be validity to that,” Namey admitted. “I don’t know if we would trade unfair criticism for being ignored.

The basic idea is to get attention, no matter how we get it.”

Well, it looks like Casey Anthony gets most of her daily news the old-fashioned way: on a small transistor radio from inside her jail cell.

At least she isn’t sitting in her cell, eating Bon Bons and watching Nancy Grace all day! I wonder if it’s a high tech transistor radio with satellite radio that can reach a 24/7 Casey Anthony channel.

In all seriousness, I’ll be the first to admit that we’re all guilty of following this case on a daily basis, and some people have even gone so far as to become obsessed with the case.

Please remember that this is a real life story of a murdered 3 year old girl and is not a fictional television show such as CSI, Law & Order or Criminal Minds.

Many lives have been truly impacted and there are those out there who are trying to exploit this tragedy for their own personal gain or profit. It’s these people who need to take a good look at themselves and realize what they are doing is wrong.

From the Orlando Sentinel:

“[Anthony] has very limited access to the outside world,” jail spokesman Allen Moore said. “She’s not watching Nancy Grace.”

The question of Anthony’s connection to the outside world surfaced after an attorney for her parents, George and Cindy Anthony, said in a statement that they intend to hold a public memorial service for their granddaughter, Caylee Marie, whose skeletal remains were found in a wooded lot near her home Dec. 11.

Officials have confirmed that Anthony, who is being held without bond and charged with first-degree murder in the death of her daughter, won’t be allowed to leave the jail to attend any service for Caylee.

No date or time for the service has been announced.

Jail officials said today they have not yet decided if Anthony will be allowed to watch the service on television.

She has no limit on her Sony SRF 39FP, a $21 radio she bought from the jail’s commissary. It’s specifically designed for inmates in U.S. corrections facilities. The transparent case is supposed to prevent inmates from using it to conceal things.

The main reason for her limited access to television news is her Level 1 protective custody status — triggered in part by her own notoriety.

That level of security is given to high-profile inmates, such as Lisa Nowak and Lou Pearlman, who generate massive amounts of media coverage because of the charges against them.

“The protective status helps avoid situations that will affect the inmate’s safety or the jail’s operation,” Moore said.

Because Anthony is kept isolated from other inmates, she spends most of her time alone in her cell without a clear view of the television set located in that part of the female-detention center.

HAHA.

Jonas Brothers “Little Bit Longer”
Sales the 14th week: 22,254
Percentage change: +15

The next Beatles? More like the next NSYNC.

Which one of you sucked Lou Pearlman’s dick? I bet it was you JOE…

You have the entire Disney army and you sold 22 thousand units? Jacky sold more copies of Narcissism in the 90’s taking a shit on a gold plated toilet smoking a joint while a naked stripper shaved his back!

I don’t know what’s funnier, your promise ring and wasting the few years you have as a celebrity by not screwing girls on tour or the fact that you’re ex- girlfriend spent a majority of her summer with me in Malibu while you were on tour.

Ill give you a hint, her name is the same as the country she’s from and the name of a song on your last record you wrote about her.

I have to say one of my favorite mornings ever since I moved to LA was the time I was driving your girlfriend to a photo shoot at 8am while I blasted Cattle Decapitation and I looked up at a billboard of you and your whack brothers poking each others assholes at LaBrea and Beverly.

-TeddyRevolution

I thought that this was an interesting post from Mom Logic earlier this week. The site is designed for Moms who want to know a little bit about a lot of things, but have very little time. Sounds like my wife! We both are very busy with our jobs and our kids but I still try to get a few postings to share with everyone each day.

It’s very interesting to see how Casey is living each of her days while she’s in prison awaiting trial. As with most in prison these days, it seems that she has it much easier than most did back in the days. Please, feel free to read and leave your thoughts on “A Day in the Life of Casey Anthony”. Is she getting it too easy? Too hard? What do you think?

From the posting:

By all accounts Casey Anthony is a liar. She’s consistently lied to detectives, to her parents and even quite possibly to herself about the whereabouts of her three-year-old daughter Caylee Marie. But, these days, Casey Anthony is easy to find. Currently she spends every day, every minute in the Orange County Jail in Florida awaiting trail for first-degree murder. For a woman with a reputation for being a so-called party girl, it would seem the party is over.

And Casey is not any typical jailhouse resident. She is housed under the category of “Protective Custody Level One” in the high-security section of the Female Detention Center. “Protective Custody Level One,” Orange County Corrections Public Information Officer Allen Moore tells momlogic, “should not be confused with isolation or solitary confinement. [Those terms] refer to a cell and custody status used for behavioral and disciplinary purposes and would normally involve a small windowless cell.”

Casey does have a window, of sorts –  her 12.5′ x 7′ cell has a floor-to-ceiling clear door made of Lexan, a clear polymer-like glass. She has zero privacy and never comes in contact with the other 652 inmates who also reside in the detention unit.

“Most high profile inmates — either by case type or celebrity status — are placed in protective custody” explains Moore. “It’s for their own safety.” Past inmates in Casey’s jail have included Backstreet Boys creator and convicted embezzler Lou Pearlman and heartbroken astronaut Lisa Nowak.

So how does Casey spend her time? Her schedule is strict. She has one hour a day to take a shower, sit in the dayroom and make collect calls from the jail phone. She can access books from a library cart to take back to her cell to read.

According to Moore, jail officers say Casey is “an avid reader.” Unfortunately, the exact titles of her library selections, which could include novels and textbooks, are not released to the public. Catching up on the classics might be Casey’s only way to pass the time. Inmates in her category are not allowed to watch TV or use a computer. For the very social Casey, emailing and IMing her friends is a thing of the past.

But she does have visitors, almost exclusively from her attorney Jose Baez and other lawyers on his team. Moore explains, “Attorneys are allowed to visit anytime — day or night.” Her family however, has not stopped by. Casey, says Moore, “has restricted her video visits to family members only. She has had no video visitations scheduled during her present incarceration.”

How does the incarcerated Casey stay healthy? She, like most women, has a workout schedule. Weather permitting. For one hour a day, Casey is allowed to get exercise outside in the jail yard. It’s no 24-Hour Fitness either — no weights or other equipment are provided, but she is allowed to use a basketball or volleyball.

And, of course, Casey dines three times a day. Delicious dishes served in the Orange County Jail vary from sausage patties for breakfast to scalloped ham and noodles for dinner. We’re guessing that none of it would be confused with a four-star restaurant.

Here is Casey’s complete menu for Wednesday November 12:

BREAKFAST:

• Cornflakes
• Cheese
• Donut
• Enriched bread (2 slices)
• Margarine with vitamin A
• Sugar packet
• Milk with 1% with vitamin A & D

LUNCH:

• Beef patty and gravy
• Sliced potatoes
• Northern beans
• Enriched bread (2 slices)
• Cake
• Beverage with vitamin C

DINNER:

• Chicken patty and gravy
• Rice
• Green beans
• Enriched bread (2 slices)
• Cake/Cookie
• Beverage with vitamin C

And for some this might be the hardest restriction to endure: If Casey craves an after-meal smoke, she’s out of luck. Since 1993, there is no smoking in the Orange County Jail system.

Courtesy: KUAM-TV

While serving his 25-year sentence for fraud and conspiracy crimes, former Backstreet Boys manager Lou Pearlman has found a way to keep busy. According to the Orlando Sentinel, Pearlman is providing evidence to police that may help the prosecutors convict Davin Smith, who is accused of killing of off-duty Orlando police officer Alfred Gordon.

Pearlman says that he heard Smith talk to another inmate, allegedly admitting:

1. On the morning Gordon was shot, Smith and his accomplice robbed another man’s ATM card but couldn’t get money out of the machine.
2. Frustrated, they saw Gordon sitting in the bank parking lot and decided to rob him.
3. When Gordon reached for his weapon, Smith shot him.
4. Smith and the accomplice didn’t know Gordon was a cop.

Popsquire’s perspective…

These statements may be very helpful to the prosecution. Although out-of-court statements generally are considered hearsay, these statements appear to be admissions by the defendant, which can help prosecutors maneuver around hearsay objections.

And, of course, Pearlman may benefit from this as well. His attorney, Fletcher Peacock, already has said that he will tell the judge about Pearlman’s “very valuable and relevant” help in the Gordon murder investigation as part of a future request for a sentence reduction.

In the 90’s I am not ashamed to admit that I got down to a little bit on The New Kids on The Block.  The story behind that group is they were produced and managed by a guy named Maurice Starr.  Needless to say Maurice Starr branding everything with NKOTB imagry and made himself and everybody around them rich beyond belief.  Lou Pearlman owned a commuter airline called Trans Continental Airlines.  Mr. Starr would shuttle his boy band across the country and international destinations via Trans Continental.  Lou Pearlman saw all the money that could be made in the boy band business and formed The Backstreet Boys, who eventually went on to sell over 100 million records worldwide.  Pearlman never regained his foothold on the music industry and it wasn’t from a lack of trying.  Man, who could forget the hits of the likes of “O-Town” and “LFO”?  So he does what any red blooded American does and…………………….develops some ponzi scheme and bilks people out of 300 million dollars and then runs to Indonesia when the federal government finds him out. 

Poor Lou, I can almost smell the excess that was his heyday.  Now he has to repay over 300 MILLION dollars in damages and restitution and sit behind bars for 25 years.  My Uncle used to tell me when I was younger that, “You can’t make money like this.”. (At which point he would ball his hand into a closed fist)  Meaning there has to be an equal exchange of money in and money out.  Willing to give money as well as you are to take money.  Always be prepared to be generous and know that you cannot take ANY of it with you.  The greatest joy I get is the joy that I get from being generous.  The greatest gift I ever received was the reaction to a gift that I gave.  That being said, I cannot comment on Lou Pearlman as a human being.  I can speak with great conviction that I believe his acts to be deplorable.  All I can do is be cognizant of 2 things:  1.  There will be people in life who can NEVER get enough and you have to live your life for yourself and realize that things that are too good to be true, are ALWAYS to good to be true.  2.  That the New Kids on The Block spawned more than one bad thing in the 90’s, they gave us Lou Pearlman.

Former Backstreet Boy and Nsync manager is in a heap of trouble. Details Here.

First let me say that I do not condone stealing but I must ask, can you really steal that kind of money? Today I read that Lou Pearlman, creator of the boy bands, N’Sync and Backstreet Boys, stole about 300 million dollars from banks and investors over a decade. Now he’s serving 25 years in jail but look how long it took for them to catch up with him. From my experience dealing with the “urban crowd” you can only get away with illegal activities for about 5 to 7 years then the FEDs are coming down on you like water in New Orleans during the hurricane, lond and hard!! The weird thing is that he can still manage, from arms length the story says, his few remaining bands. How many of you know someone in jail for drugs and they are still allowed to run their drug cartell while in jail, hell none that I know of, and if they are it surely is not known by the government. This is just another confirmation that the legal system is not blind like the Lady of Justice would have one to think.  My advice to you all is to get rich but do it legally, most people will not be allowed to steal from individuals, get away with then continue to benefit. If Mr. Pearlman would have spent more time working with these two groups maybe they would still be making music today and not has beens of yesterday.

Remember to keep you head up and love one another.

Do you see that big fat grinning convict? 

His name is Louis Jay Pearlman. 

And he is going to jail.

If you were alive from 1998-2002, this man has probably ruined your life while robbing your kid sister/high school girlfriend/bored mother of their dignity and Sam Goody gift cards.

Check out the full story at The Passion of the Weiss.

Last Wednesday, Lou Pearlman was sentenced to 25 years in prison for conspiracy and money laundering.  If you don’t know who Pearlman is, he’s the unholy bastard that created such abominations as NSYNC and The Backstreet Boys.  He got his start in blimp advertising until the crash of his Jordache Blimp in 1980. HAHAHAHA!! That was a little prophetic, don’t you think.  I like to think of this as God evening things out.  Though, 25 years was pretty weak for such heinous crimes.  Lou, I hope you drop the soap in the proximity of some fans of your life’s work.  Also, I’m pretty sure if I looked up weird pedophile looking guy in the dictionary, this is the picture that would accompany the entry.

**on a side note** 
Am I the only one amazed by the fact that I keep seeing commercials for his and hers KY that apparently does something amazing when they are combined.  Interesting?…or just plain odd?

Doctors announced Tuesday that Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy has been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. Doctors plan to combat the tumor by placing it inside Kennedy’s indestructible liver.

In a 7 to 2 decision on Monday, the Supreme Court upheld a law that sets a mandatory five year prison term for promoting child pornography. The justices felt strongly that child pornography does not need to be promoted, because it pretty much sells itself.

To offset rising fuel prices, American Airlines has announced they will begin charging fifteen dollars for checking a traveler’s first bag. They will charge thirty dollars to get that bag to the correct destination.

A Chinese policewoman was hailed as a hero after breast-feeding nine children who were separated from their mothers during last week’s earthquake. She was then arrested when police learned the children were all in their thirties.

Thousands of people marched through Johannesburg on Saturday, calling for an end to anti-foreigner violence that has killed over forty people in South Africa. Said the country’s police chief: “This anti-foreigner violence has got to stop. Because Foreigner is awesome!

Switzerland has destroyed nuclear arms plans seized as evidence in a case linking a Swiss family to Libya’s now-abandoned atomic program. The plans detailed a pocket sized nuclear device that also included a knife, scissors, tweezers, and a cork screw.

According to the Associated Press, mistakes by air traffic controllers at New Jersey’s Newark Airport have caused several planes to depart in the wrong direction. Pilots expressed little concern, noting that any direction is the right direction if it takes you out of New Jersey.

On Thursday Prince Charles had an oddly-shaped non-cancerous growth removed from his face. Said the prince: “I would appreciate it if you would refer to the oddly-shaped non-cancerous growth by the proper name: Camilla Parker-Bowles”

‘N Sync and Backstreet Boys creator Lou Pearlman has been sentenced to twenty-five years in prison for swindling people out of $300 million. The swindling occurred when he convinced people to buy the music of ‘N Sync and the Backstreet Boys.

Scarlett Johansson released her debut album on Tuesday to generally poor reviews. The biggest problem music critics had with the album: you can’t hear her boobs.

According to People magazine, Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong have secretly begun dating. Armstrong says he has wanted to ask Kate out for a long time, but just didn’t have the ball to do it.

The Recording Academy has set February 8th as the date of next year’s Grammy Awards. The schedule gives the Academy ample time to compile material for the memorial tribute to Amy Winehouse.

A restaurant near Wall Street is offering a Kobe beef hamburger topped with gold flakes, black truffles, foie gras and aged Gruyere cheese for one hundred seventy five dollars. And for an additional ninety-nine cents, customers can supersize it.

A new survey finds that about fifty-five percent of teenagers have engaged in oral sex. However, the other forty-five percent couldn’t answer the survey because their mouths were full.

Tokyo police rescued a parrot and successfully returned him to his home after the parrot recited his name and address. The parrot lives at 123 Polly-Wants-A-Cracker Boulevard

A car dealership in Missouri is offering customers who buy a new car a choice between a $250 gas card, or a semi-automatic handgun. The offer will be good until all of the gas cards are stolen by someone who just got a free semi-automatic handgun.

In Minnesota, a Catholic priest has filed a restraining order against a severely autistic thirteen-year-old boy in order to keep him from attending church because of his unruly behavior. The autistic boy was considered unruly because of his uncanny ability to count exactly how many times he’s been molested.

France is considering bans on happy hours in bars and on the sale of strong liquor in nightclubs as part of efforts to curb binge drinking among young people. Ireland plans to make similar efforts by raising the legal drinking age to three.

Astronomers noted on Friday that Jupiter has developed a third red spot in its atmosphere. The red spot is due either to climate change or to unprotected sex with Uranus.

And finally, Dr. Harvey Karmen, the inventor of a device that made abortions safer and easier, has died of a stroke at the age of eighty-four. Harvey Karmen was best known for cracking up during surgery due to the hilarious antics of his colleague, Dr. Tim Conway.