23 Desember 2009

Rabu

Hari terakhir kuliah sebelum liburan. Mungkin juga akan menjadi hari terakhir saya bertemu dengan dirinya sebelum liburan natal dan tahun baru ini. Sayang, jadwal saya dan dirinya berbeda hari ini. Kami mengambil kelas yang berbeda. Saya terus berharap di dalam hati semoga hari ini saya akan bertemu dengan dirinya seblum saya pulang ke Jakarta.

Sengaja saya menuliskan rencananya saya di twitter

“Jam 09.00 AM ke perpustakaan mengerjakan tugas, jam 13.00 mengerjakan cash flow jam 15.00 kelas kewirausahaan dan jam 17.00 otw to JAKARTA”

tidak ada respon.. ok saya sign out, lalu fokus mengerjakan tugas.

oh my god.. saya tidak bisa menahan rasa penasaran saya. Saya log in kembali, berharap ada reply. Tapi………..

Ah tidak ada balasan, sedih rasanya. Oke saya tidak menyerah, saya menulis kembali

me : “di perpustakaan ngerjain ekoman, yang lain pada kemana ya?”

him : “ngerjain ekoman di plasma”

Rupanya dirinya berada di plasma.. ya kami memang terpisah jarak, tapi saya sangat berterima kasih dengan kemajuan teknologi sekarang. Saya bisa berkomunikasi dengannya dimana dan kapan saja.. hehehehe :p

Lagi-lagi saya tweeting

me : “cepatlah datang jam 17.00 saya mau pulang”

him : “mules gw pengen nonton”

hahaha lucu rasanya… kami berdua sama-sama online dalam twitter, namun kami berdua tidak saling berinteraksi. Saya asyik meng-update mengatakan saya akan pulang ke Jakarta. Dia asik men-update ingin menonton.

“malu, ya rasa malu ini masih ada. saya suka dirinya, tapi saya takut dia tidak, saya ingin mendekatinya, tapi saya takut ia akan jauh, yang bisa saya lakukan hanyalah berharap”

Waktu telah menunjukkan pukul 14.30 dan saya belum melihat dirinya HARI INI. Tuhan dimanakah Ia?? saya kembali menulis dalam twitter

me : “Hei.. ini sudah mau jam 17.00 wanna see you dulu laaahh~~”

Saya mematikan laptop, dan mengikuti kelas kewirausahaan. Lagi-lagi saya membenci perasaan ini.

“rasa suka, rasa cinta, rasa kagum. Semua rasa itu membuat saya menjadi tidak berdaya, saya hanya memikirkan dia. Kini otak saya telah dipenuhi oleh dirinya”

17.00

Oh god, ternyata benar hari terakhir saya kuliah, maka menjadi hari yang sangat suram. Saya tidak melihat dirinya, bahkan hanya untuk sekedar menyapa. Pukul 17.00 saya kembali ke kostan, merapihkan barang-barang yang akan di bawa ke Jakarta.

18.30

Saya sendiri di dalam angkutan kota, sambil terus memikirkan dirinya. Tiba-tiba Handphone saya bergetar, ada sms

I : “lu dimana? anak-anak mau nonton tuh, kita nonton yg jam 21.00 lu mau ikut gak? si “anu” juga ikutt loh, dia yang ngajak”

me : “what?? aahhh gw udah dalam perjalanan pulang menuju Jakarta”

I : “ya ellah lu masih dimana emang? ayoo lu harus ketemu dia dulu sebelum pulang, nginep di rumah GUWEE besok pagi pulang”

me : “huhuhuhu gak bisa.. besok gw udah ada janji ma kk gw, gimana atuh?? Argghh gw pengen liat dia.. DAMN!!”

Bodohnya diri ini, kenapa saya harus buru-buru pulang. ahh.. pupuslah sudah hasrat ini untuk berpamitan dengan dirinya. Saya kembali terduduk sendiri, kali ini saya sudah berada di dalam kereta, AC EKONOMI menuju Jakarta. Bosan menunggu, saya memberanikan diri mengirimnya sms

me : “Heh.. Seneng ya pada nonton, waktunya gak tepaaatt!! gw penggenn!! huhuhuh”

TIDAK ADA BALASAN

ya… saya pulang sendiri, di kereta yang dingin, di malam yang dingin, tanpa balasan sms darinya.

Untuk dirinya :

Saya berharap kamu mengetahui perasaan saya. Dan saya harap kamu juga memiliki perasaan yang sama, namun jika tidak, saya harap jangan ada yang berubah. Kau boleh pergi dengan siapa saja, namun yang jelas biarkanlah saya menyukaimu, menganggumimu, dan mencintaimu.

Satu lagi yang pasti

Saya kembali menulis tentang dirinya malam ini.

December 22, 2009

Tuesday

Day two in the last week before the holidays come. Still remembered in my mind, the moment at December 21, 2009, it was hard to forget. Today I wish to meet him again, joking with him, spend the day with him.

Today’s class is very different, the lecture is GREAT TEACHER, he is a professor in the field of agriculture. hmm … honestly  I’m not very interested in this field, so I chose to sit in the back. Not long later I saw him sitting one row behind me. Today he wore a white shirt covered with a black cardigan. his eyes was very tired, it has narrowed his eyes .. but, for some reason I think small eyes that made me melted.
“His eyes were small, but he could see anything, even he could see my heart, he could easily see my heart to see what’s in my mind to see what I wanted, he could see me … He saw me and made me fall”

Ahh .. when does the class end?? I am sick, I wanted to talk with him, laughing, and occasionally hitting sassy back (hahahah aggressive).

No one has to know my feelings to himself. Ahh … it was hard to keep these feelings alone. I need a friend, a friend shared, reliable friends, good friends, friends who understood me. “I” yes .. she is “I” I tell all my feelings about him to the “I”, “I” do not believe it … Hahahahah .. she didn’t thought I’ll be got a crush on him. Yeah…

“He did not like the man I loved before. He was sloppy, was lazy, he did not care, He is childish, he is not a leader, He is not a celebrity, but I’m sure behind it all there is the adult figure, responsible, humorous, loving and living life as it is. But one thing is sure now he’s really got me’

Deep in conversation with “I” about her, I did not realize he was moved. He sat one row with me, near the window. Honestly I was very  happy to know that he moved his seat. So I can see him, see what he did, I hope he too, I hope he ca see me too

Class is over, I wish I can approached him  quickly  just to say hi, but,  Arghh why there is always a barrier? yup I fell my head was dizzy, not remarkably strong to stand   WHY?

I decided to get back to my share house and go to sleep. Once I closed my eyes … his face appears, his funny behavior surfaced. I tried to sleep.

HEALTHY .. I want to be HEALTHY forever, so I can spend the day with him.

Oh Lord!? what is  it? Am I really really have fallen to him??

“My eyes and my body was already asleep but the heart was still thinking of him”

One thing  for sure

I WRITE ABOUT HIM AGAIN

22 Desember 2009

Selasa

Hari ke dua dalam minggu terakhir sebelum liburan akhir tahun. Masih teringat di dalam pikiran saya, keindahan malam 21 Desember 2009, sulit rasanya untuk melupakannya. Hari ini saya kembali berharap akan bertemu dengan dirinya, bercanda dengan dirinya, melewati hari dengan dirinya.

Kuliah hari ini sangat berbeda, karena hari ini dosen yang mengajar adalah seorang GURU BESAR, dia adalah seorang profesor di bidang agraria. hmm… jujur saya tidak terlalu tertarik dengan bidang ini, maka saya pun memilih untuk duduk di belakang. Tidak lama kemudian saya melihat dirinya duduk satu baris di belakang saya. Hari ini Ia memakai kaos putih dibalut dengan cardigan hitam. Masih terlihat di matanya rasa kantuk karena tidur larut, matanya semakin mengecil.. namun, entah mengapa menurut saya matanya yang kecil itulah yang membuat saya luluh.

“Matanya memang kecil, tapi Ia bisa melihat apa saja, bahkan Ia bisa melihat isi hatiku, Ia bisa dengan mudahnya melihat hatiku melihat apa yang ada di pikiranku melihat apa yang ku inginkan, Ia dapat melihatku… Ia melihatku dan membuatku jatuh”

Ahh.. kapankah kuliah ini berakhir?? saya muak, saya ingin segera berbicara dengan dirinya, tertawa, sambil sesekali memukul centil punggungnya (hahahah saya agresif).

Belum ada yang mengetahui perasaan saya kepada dirinya. Ahh… rasanya tidak kuat memendam perasaan ini sendirian. Saya butuh teman, teman berbagi, teman yang dapat dipercaya, teman yang nyaman, teman yang mengerti saya apa adanya. “I” ya.. dia adalah “I” kuceritakan semua perasaan saya tentang dirinya kepada “I”, “I” tidak percaya… Hahahahah.. memang sekilas saya tidak mungkin jatuh pada dirinya. Dia tidak seperti laki-laki yang saya sukai sebelumnya. Ia urakan, Ia malas, Ia tidak peduli,Ia kekanak-kanakan, Ia bukan pemimpin, Ia bukan orang terkenal, tapi saya yakin dibalik itu semua terdapat sosoknya yang dewasa, bertanggung jawab, humoris, mencintai dan menjalani hidup apa adanya. Tapi satu hal yang pasti sekarang dia benar-benar sudah mendapatkan saya. HAHAAHAHAH….

Asyik berbicara dengan “I” mengenai dirinya, saya tidak sadar ternyata dirinya kembali pindah tempat duduk. Ia duduk satu baris dengan saya, di dekat jendela. Jujur saya kembali senang ketika mengetahui Ia pindah tempat duduk. Saya jadi bisa melihatnya, melihat apa yang Ia kerjakan, semoga Ia juga begitu, semoga Ia bisa melihatku…

Kuliah selesai, ingin rasanya cepat-cepat menghampiri dirinya untuk sekedar say hi, tapiiiiiiii!!! ARGHH kenapa selalu ada penghalang??? yup kepala ini pusing, tidak kepalang… saya tidak kuat berdiri. WHY???

Saya putuskan untuk segera kembali ke kostan dan mengistirahatkan tubuh ini, mata ini, hati ini. Tetap saja, begitu memejamkan mata… wajahnya muncul, tingkah lakunya yang lucu kembali muncul. Saya mencoba untuk tidur. SEHAT.. saya ingin SEHAT agar terus bisa menjalani hari, melihat dirinya.

Oh Lord?? apakah ini? benarkah saya benar-benar telah jatuh padanya??

“Ya mata dan tubuh ini memang telah tertidur namun hati ini tetap memikirkan dirinya”

Satu hal yang pasti

SAYA KEMBALI MENULIS TENTANG DIRINYA.

Quotable Cute Quotes And Cute Proverb
There is no real wealth but the labor of man

Cute Words

Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice

Good Phrases

Faith is a higher faculty than reason

Nice Words

Hell is full of good intentions

Today, you have 100% of your life left

Wisdom begins in wonder

Laws were made to be broken

Falsely luxurious, will not man awake?

All my possessions for a moment of time

Romantic Quotes

Fervor is the weapon of choice of the impotent

You will stir up the hornets

The great fishpond

Got one foot in the grave

A radical is one who speaks the truth

Wise Quotations

Fans don't boo nobodies

awesome one liner

December 21, 2009

Monday

The first day at the beginning of the week, everyone was busy preparing for this day, including me. I am also busy preparing for today, Monday, the day where I will meet him, and spend the day with him.

Today he wore a green shirt, as usual he came with his warm smile. He came a little late, so he had to sit in the back row. Today’s topic is about the broadcast, one of my favorite topics. Lecturer explains this topic with enthusiastically, as interested in the topic today, he moved to the front seat, he was sitting at the same row with me. I was nervous, this heart beat begin to beats faster again. Hahaahaha…

During the class I kept watching the lecturer  and occasionally look at him (hahaha I know it sounds so tawdry, yes I am “surreptitiously view” to him) it felt good. The heart was beating so quickly, afraid of getting caught … hahahah I fell like an idiot. I return to focus to the topic of today, lecturers provide the opportunity for students to ask questions. I raised my hand swiftly, but I was not chosen by the lecturer. There was a male voice asked, I turned to the left … Wow it was him who asking questions. Not like what I was thinking before, his question is very good,  very attractive, very critical. One more plus pin from him, We were attracted to the same thing. PRESS.

_____________________________________Night____________________________________

Tonight is the night that I’ll be waiting for. Tonight we will bring something that make our class good. Something that very artistic, something we’ve practiced for, something that can entertain all of my friends. Something that makes me and him getting closer, day by day. Something that makes all things and this feeling was born.

Night fell, the night looks bright with stars that shine, but unfortunately he was not present yet. I kept waiting for him to come. I saw him from a distance again he seemed so small, he wore a white shirt (just like me), he walked with a smile, his small eyes become less visible when he smiled, but that’s what makes me more attracted to him. He is unique, hahaha …

I aproached him me as a friend who had been waiting for. We do hi fives, I wanted to take a moment to sit and enjoy the show together, but I know he had another responsibilities, he continued stepped forward, and I reluctantly stepped into the opposite direction with it.

Night becomes darker, the theme songs of love began to resonate. Yes … this time I really wish he was near me, but not … he was there with his responsibilities. Ok one more plus from him, he is responsible.

it’s 22:30 o’clock, time for me and him showing us something that has been practiced so far. But before we perform, the love songs sounded again.

“Dia bukakan pintu hatiku yang lama tak bisa percayakan cinta hingga dia disini memberi cintaku harapan, dia seperti apa yang selalu kunantikan, aku impikan, dia melihatku apa adanya, seakan ku sempurna” (MALIQ AND D’ESSENTIAL, DIA)

“He opened the door of my heart that can not entrust the love, until he comes here give my love hope, he was like what I’ve been waiting for, I dreamed, he saw me just what I am, as I was perfect” (MALIQ AND D’ESSENTIAL, DIA)

Hahaha … Hahaha …

Heard the song makes me really melted, I was singing along. Then suddenly he was beside me and sing these songs … together …

GOD … I’M AFRAID TO FEEL THIS, WHAT IS THIS? NOOO!!

We do our performances, we come up with riveting. The audience gave a standing ovation for, glad to see him laughing when he heard applause from the audience … ahh ~ cute~ ~

The night continued to roll, love songs turned into songs up beat. everbody dancing, laughing, but I did not see him, where he is? I continued to dance while watching around, hoping to find. Ha Apparently he was tired .. He was resting, sitting with still noding his head enjoying  the music <3 <3

It’s 12 AM, I returned home at midnight. And again hoping he will accompanying me to home. I asked him to come home together, and yup he accepts. Yeeeeeii!!! Yeeeeeii! Finally I can go home with him.

Walking in the cold middle of the night, saw the stars shining in the sky. During our way to go home, we joked each other, discuss our performance and my friends, laughing, and occasionally he patted my shoulder, before we say good bye he holding my shoulder, and we parted .

OH GOD!! I do not know what to do?

One thing for sure I come back to write him tonight.

21 Desember 2009

Senin

Hari pertama di awal minggu, semua orang sibuk mempersiapkan hari ini, termasuk saya. Saya juga sibuk mempersiapkan diri untuk hari ini, hari Senin, hari dimana saya akan bertemu, dan bersama melewati waktu yang lama dengannya.

Hari ini Ia memakai kaos berwarna hijau, seperti biasa Ia datang dengan senyumnya yang hangat. Ia datang sedikit terlambat, sehingga Ia harus duduk di barisan belakang. Topik hari ini adalah mengenai siaran, salah satu topik yang saya gemari. Dosen menerangkan topik kali ini dengan penuh semangat, karena tertarik dengan topik hari ini, Ia menggeser kursi ke depan, sehingga duduk satu barisan dengan saya. Ok.. saya deg-degan… Hahaahaha.

Selama berjalannya kuliah saya terus memperhatikan dosen sambil sesekali melihat ke arahnya (hahaha ini memang terdengar norak, ya saya “curi-curi pandang” terhadapnya) rasanya menyenangkan. Jantung berdegup dengan cepat, takut ketahuan… hahahah saya seperti orang bodoh. Saya kembali focus kepada topik hari ini, dosen memberikan kesempatan kepada mahasiswa untuk bertanya. Saya pun mengangkat tangan saya dengan sigap, namun ternyata bukan saya yang dipilih oleh dosen tersebut. Terdengar suara pria yang bertanya, saya menoleh ke kiri… rupanya Ia yang mengajukan pertanyaan. Tidak disangka pertanyaan yang Ia buat sangatlah menarik, sangat kritis, ternyata Ia juga tertarik akan hal yang sama dengan saya. SIARAN.

___________________Malam_______________________________

Malam ini adalah malam yang sangat saya nanti. Malam ini kami akan membawa nama baik kelas kami dengan menampilkan sesuatu. Sesuatu yang sangat benilai seni, sesuatu yang telah kami latih selama ini, sesuatu yang dapat menghibur teman-teman semua. Sesuatu yang membuat saya dan dirinya semakin dekat, hari demi hari. Sesuatu yang membuat semua hal dan perasaan ini lahir.

Malam pun tiba, malam terlihat cerah dengan bintang-bintang yang bersinar, namun sayang Ia belum hadir. Saya terus menunggu dirinya hingga datang. Dari kejauhan kembali terlihat sesosok pria bertubuh kecil menggunakan kaos putih (sama seperti saya), kembali ia berjalan dengan tersenyum, matanya yang kecil semakin tidak terlihat ketika Ia tersenyum, namun itulah yang membuat saya semakin tertarik dengannya. Ia unik, hahaha…

Saya menghampirinya sebagai sahabat yang telah menunggu kehadirannya. Kami melakukan hi five, sejenak saya ingin mengajaknya duduk lalu menikmati acara bersama, namun saya tahu dia ada kepentingan lain, Ia terus melangkahkan kakinya ke depan, dan saya dengan berat hati melangkahkan kaki ke arah yang berlawanan dengannya.

Hari semakin malam, lagu-lagu bertemakan cinta mulai menggema. Ya… kali ini saya sangat berharap dia berada di dekat saya, namun tidak… dia  berada disana dengan tanggung jawabnya. Ok satu lagi nilai plus darinya, Ia sangat bertanggung jawab.

Waktu menujukkan pukul 22.30, saatnya saya dan dirinya menampilkan sesuatu yang telah kami latih selama ini. Namun sebelum kami tampil, lagu cinta kembali terdengar.

“Dia bukakan pintu hatiku yang lama tak bisa percayakan cinta hingga dia disini memberi cintaku harapan, dia seperti apa yang selalu kunantikan, aku impikan, dia melihatku apa adanya, seakan ku sempurna”

Hahaha …

mendengar lagu tersebut membuat saya benar-benar luluh, saya pun ikut bernyanyi. Lalu tiba-tiba Ia berada di samping saya dan menyanyikan lagu tersebut… bersama…

TUHAN… SAYA TAKUT AKAN PERASAAN INI, APAKAH INI? TIDAAKK!!!

Penampilan pun dimulai, kami tampil dengan memukau. Penonton memberikan tepuk tangan yang meriah, senang sekali melihat wajahnya yang tertawa riang ketika mendengar sambutan dari penonton… ahh~~~

Malam terus bergulir, lagu-lagu cinta berganti menjadi lagu-lagu up beat. Semuanya menari, semuanya tertawa, tapi saya tidak melihat dirinya, dimanakah dirinya? Saya terus menari sambil memperhatikan sekitar, berharap menemukannya. Ha.. Rupanya Ia merasa lelah.. Ia beristirahat, duduk dengan tetap menganggukan-anggukan kepalanya menikmati alunan music yang ada, lucunya~~~ oops… heheheh

Waktu telah menunjukkan pukul 12 AM, saya pulang tengah malam kembali. Dan kembali berharap Ia akan mengantarkan. Saya mengajaknya untuk pulang bersama, dan yup dia menerimanya. Yeeeeeii!!! Akhirnya bisa pulang bersamanya. Berjalan di dinginnya tengah malam, melihat bintang yang bersinar di langit. Selama di perjalanan saya dan dirinya saling bercanda, membahas penampilan kami dan teman-teman, tertawa, sambil sesekali dirinya menepuk pundakku, sebelum berpisah ia merangkulkan tanggannya ke pundakku, dan kami pun berpisah.

Oh Tuhaaaaaaaaaaaaann… saya tidak tahu harus berbuat apa?

Satu hal yang pasti saya kembali menulis dirinya malam ini.

Love is not a matter of counting the years, But making the years count.

- Michelle St. Amand

Vivian: When I was a little girl, my mama used to lock me in the attic when I was bad, which was pretty often. And I would- I would pretend I was a princess… trapped in a tower by a wicked queen. And then suddenly this knight… on a white horse with these colors flying would come charging up and draw his sword. And I would wave. And he would climb up the tower and rescue me. But never in all the time… that I had this dream did the knight say to me, “Come on, baby, I’ll put you up in a great condo.”

- Pretty Woman

Martha Shaw: Look, a woman know when a man looks into her eyes and sees someone else.
Young Noah: Now you know that I want to give you all the things that you want, right? But I can’t, because they’re gone… They’re broken.

- The Notebook

Scarlett: Sir, you..you should have made your presence known.
Rhett: In the middle of that beautiful love scene? That wouldn’t be very tactful, would it? But don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.
Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett: And you, miss, are no lady…Don’t think that I hold that against you. Ladies have never held any charm for me.

- Gone With The Wind

See there’s this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It’s the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me.

Will I wait a lonely lifetime? If you want me to, I will.

A ring is round, it turns forever and that’s how long we’ll be together.

I will love you all my life and when I die I will still love you through eternity and beyond.

I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.
Daily Love Quotes And Inspirational Proverb

Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.

Blade There are worse things out tonight than vampires. Dr. Karen Jenson Like what Blade Like me.
Amazing Cool Quotations And Wise Phrase

I have learned to use the word 'impossible' with the greatest caution.

Know how sublime a thing is to suffer and be strong.

Cannot find REALITY.SYS…Universe Halted.

Necessity is the mother of invention.

Great minds think alike.

Shell to DOS… Come in DOS, do you copy Shell to DOS…

The glory of Christianity is to conquer by forgiveness.
Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love – and to put its trust in life.

You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.

It was a Greek tragedy. Nixon was fulfilling his own nature. Once it started it could not end otherwise.

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.

The citizen who criticizes his country is paying it an implied tribute.

Quotes In order to live free and happily you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice.

Sometimes when learning comes before experience It doesn't make sense right away.

Al Czervik Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

The soul that is within me no man can degrade.
Favorite Popular Sayings And Love Message

There is no little enemy.

heart quotes

The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can't help it.
Men Inspirational Quotes And Favorite Inspirational Phrase
No good workman without good tools.

He who can't endure the bad will not live to see the good.
Long Popular Sayings And Quotable Famous Quotation

Wives in their husbands' absences grow subtler, And daughters sometimes run off with the butler.

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Friendship, of itself a holy tie, Is made more sacred by adversity.

The pupil who is never required to do what he cannot do, never does what he can do.

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free.

Ten thousand fools proclaim themselves into obscurity, while one wise man forgets himself into immortality.

Quotes Rast ich, so rost ich. (When I rest, I rust.)

Love your neighbor, but don't tear down your fence.

The sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers, but for the wide world's joy.

The experience of this sweet life. L'esperienza de questa dolce vita.

Poverty is a veil that obscures the face of greatness. An appeal is a mask covering the face of tribulation.

Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.

To realize that prophecy in the people is like fruit in the tree is to know the unity of life.
People Cute Quotes And Interesting Meaningful Message

Once a newspaper touches a story, the facts are lost forever, even to the protagonists.

cute love sms messages