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Crappy’s Guitar 101: Episode 6 Choosing a Guitar Teacher and Other Forms of Learning

crappystruth — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 12:10:42 +0000

See, I’m not about being a vicious tornado of ball busting destruction. Wait…who the fuck am I kidding??!! YOU bet your fuckin’ ass I am!!! Hhhaaaa haa haaaa!!!!!!!!!

Finding a guitar teacher in today’s world who REALLY knows how to play and is well rounded is next to impossible. Or, slim to none and Slim left town. If you can find a player who can burn, and by burn I mean similar to my definition of this, you are one incredibly fortunate son-of-a-bitch. Now, they CAN be a guy who burns but may not be able to teach you anything other than technique, which is just fine. And, also has the ability to “teach.” (Having the ability to actually teach someone something, impart knowledge to another, really is a talent unto itself.) If that’s the case, that player is worth his proverbial weight in gold. Again, this is based on my definition of a real technician player. Which, by this time, if you’ve been keeping up with my columns, you should have a very good idea what this means. If not, get your fuckin’ ass back to the beginning and start reading.

If you have the misfortune of living in a one horse town, well, your going to have to make due with some other things that I’ll be covering right here in this installment. Some things can ONLY be learned through human contact. You’re very limited by reading text. You can get a much better idea by watching a video. But, to have someone, one-on-one in front of you telling you, “Don’t do this, don’t do that. Do this, do that,” this is what NEEDS to be done. There is no two ways about it and ABSOLUTELY NO WAY around it.

You see, I am about doing it RIGHT the FIRST mutherfucking TIME. I don’t like the term “old school” since every rap/hip-hop cock-suckin’ walkin’ pile of pig shit uses this once cool term, but I really am “Old School.” And, you as a player must take on my attitude of doing it right the first time too. Now, if you just wanna to play guitar a little, get together with some neighborhood pals and start a garage band and have fun getting shit-faced drunk doing it, then my columns are not really for you. You can certainly get something out of them, but they’re directed at people who want to take music seriously and for it to be their life. Becoming a real musician is a serious business and YOU must take it seriously just as I have. And, not forget that this IS a BUSINESS, and YOU must treat it as such.

I feel that I’m beginning to get into my new, soon to be started column entitled, “Crappys Music Business 101,” so I’ll bring it back to the topic at hand. You need to audition the teacher you’re considering to take lessons from. Did you find him through an advertisement? Did you walk into a music store? Did a friend or some jack-off you don’t know, tell you about this guy? You need to hear this guy go off in some way to get an idea what he can do, and if what he can do is what you’re looking to learn. If he looks pretty good at this point, you may have to actually pay for a few lessons with him to see if he can teach you and is patient with your learning curve. Some guys are kick-ass players but can’t teach you how to spell C-A-T. So, after 1-2 or 3 lessons you will know if you want to continue with this guy, or drop this cock, and continue looking.

If you can’t locate an instructor, you’ll have to make due with video’s and the Internet. There are many places on-line you can go and I’m sure you know some already. Technically, Paul Gilbert’s videos can give you a great foundation in that area. As for your musical education, you can get a nice, sizable chunk learned at your local junior/city college, and supplement that with the video’s and on-line stuff.

Crappy…

Crappy’s Guitar 101: Episode 5 Picking

crappystruth — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:05:33 +0000

Yep, I’m back and with a bloodthirsty vengeance. This subject is CRUCIAL. In fact, being able to correctly pick is the “do-or-die” ability of being a proficient player. If you can’t pick CORRECTLY and WELL, you are half the player you are supposed to be, and you will NEVER be the COMPLETE, WELL ROUNDED player you could be and SHOULD BE.

Now, I’ve gone off on so many dip-shits on the Internet that I may as well talk about picking too. There are many, many variations to picking. But just a couple that are the most proficient. And, after all, if you’re going to put in the hours, days, weeks, months and in some cases years to do something, it’s pure logic you should do it the best and most proficient way possible. And, with comfort, endurance and longevity in mind.

There is a guitarist who made the following statement coming up that I found really fucking funny and I can’t argue against his comment. This guitarist who is very, very good, said this then later retracted it. So, because he retracted it, he may have realized he shouldn’t have said it. So, I won’t tell his name but I will repeat his comment which was about Paul Gilbert. I paraphrase,

” Paul Gilbert isn’t doing anything that a trained monkey with arthritis and a metronome couldn’t do.”

This comment is one of the funniest fuckin’ things I’ve heard in many years. Paul has come up with some neat and fun shapes, and I like some of the stuff he’s done quite a bit. But, most of it if not all of it are very simple things done very fast.

Paul Gilbert has showed you how to play his stuff. He’s done the exact same things, “concepts” in great detail for well over 20 years. And, you blind and deaf mutherfuckers still haven’t learned. So, I doubt my contribution will put much of a dent in things, but, what the fuck.

The Problem: Not doing what I’m telling you.

The Fix: Doing what I’m telling you.

Rather than going into all the bad habits and poor techniques, I’m going to just cut to the correct things to do.

For the visual portion of this lesson, watch any of Paul’s instructionals. Ignore his left hand completely. Watch his right hand only. His right hand is completely relaxed. His shoulders are level. Meaning he doesn’t have his right shoulder raised up by his ear (except when he’s sitting down with the guitar on his right leg). For the most part he doesn’t bend his thumb while picking. I say, don’t bend your thumb for any reason. You’re resting the heal of your palm the portion where your little finger (the blade of your little finger) is connected on the bridge, just in front of the saddles.

When you are sitting down to play, have your guitar on your left leg. NOT your right. Having it on your left leg puts the guitar in a neutral and center position. And, is the most ergonomic and easy position to be in and to be in for a long period of time. Your thumb is straight with a very small part of the pick sticking down and out from the side of your thumb. You’re resting on the strings slightly in front of the bridge. Chose which way you’re most comfortable holding the pick in the direction it’s going to slice the string. You’ve only have two choices. It’s a diagonal angle, left on top down to the right, or right on top to down on the left. Again, that’s how you’re holding the pick with only one of those two directions. Close your hand. Keep your fingers curled in a little like making a fist but looser. Don’t flex your arms when playing. If you do, relax and focus on the loose, relaxed wrist movement.

Unsynchronized picking is when there is no control in your picking and some notes get picked 2 or 3 times, some picked once, and some may not get picked at all. There is no coordination or precision of any kind and it’s just a mess. Remember, you’re not fooling anyone with this shit.

The key visual is watching Gilbert. And, only use the bridge (rear) pickup and a metronome. Speed comes naturally from doing the same thing over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over and a fairly slow speed with the metronome and making small incremental increases over some time.

That’s about it. Don’t anchor any fingers anywhere on the guitar body. Don’t have your fingers sticking straight out either. And, stop making things harder than they really aren’t. Watch his vids. He’s showing you how to do it. I think that’s it. But, I may add or do some refining to this “Picking” section so be aware. After all, I’m NOT getting paid for this!!

Crappy All Mighty.

xxoo

Crappy’s Guitar 101: Episode 6 Choosing a Guitar Teacher and Other Forms of Learning

Episode 1 Pickup Abusers

http://crappystruth.wordpress.com/2009/04/10/crappys-guitar-101-episode-1-pickup-abusers/

EL TROVADOR: LUCA TURILLI

DAMADENEGRO — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:02:38 +0000

No me riman las leyendas ni las notas que escucho de tu guitarra salir, dulce trovador de Trieste, de lengua francesa, origen italiano y modales medievales.
Que tus ojos azules, hermoso Luca, sean como el reflejo del mar es fácil de entender cuando una leve y tierna sonrisa te atreves a dirigir a quien queda rendida a tus sones.
Gestas de caballeros, desafios sin fín y con la guitarra, esta vez eléctrica, el trovador de Trieste me mete en la máquina del tiempo en busca de tí.
Nos hemos vistos tres veces, una en Mijas y dos en Madrid; caminito de La Rivera en busca de Luca fuí. Y este hermoso y virtuoso de la guitarra que de enorme guardaespaldas va siempre acompañado salío a todo correr a las tantas de la madrugada camino del bus…. que no te iba a coger¡¡¡¡¡, claro que sí y a pesar de ser empujado dentro y de la mole que te guarda a ti, sacaste la cabeza y las dos manos y te pusiste tras de mí para sacarno esa foto que deseaba tener yo de ti.

En el segundo momento que nos unión en mi tierra y en verano, demonios Mijas que calor¡¡¡, sentí la emoción en mi mano cuando el pase de backstage pusieron para mí. Y llegó Luca el hermoso y se cambio de ropaje para parecer un hermoso paje del medioevo mediterraneo. Campanadas de leyendas se apoderaron de la sierra que sólo a bandoleros conoció y rendida a tus sones, bello trovador creyó que en época antiguas y en carruaje de caballos alguien cabalga esta noche con hermosas baladas.
Y despues del concierto Luca vino a mi, y nuestras manos se unieron y nuestros rostros también y que emoción tenerte cerca y una regalo para mí…. que más regalo quiero que el tenerte juntos aquí…… Sonrisas de timidez de un hombre grande y fuerte que ha sabido darle a los fuertes sones heavies adjetivos de honor perdido.
Y la tercera a Madrid de nuevo fui, que fuerte fue ese grito que por encima de todos sonó, el Luca estaba firmando para unos pocos enchufados que ni siquieran saben quien es… pero no puede ser Luca levanta: y me ves y a pesar de todo entro y entre tus piernas me siento en la escalera del local y allí nos volvemos a retratar los dos juntos otra vez.
Y despues de haber destrozado con hermosos sones mis oidos, sales Luca en la madrugada de un día frío y te digo ciao bambino y tu me besas y me dices : Adios Mujer.

DAMADENEGRO2007

Luca Turilli- The Ancient Forest Of Elves

lestat546 — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 00:49:00 +0000

Luca Turilli es para mí, de los grandes maestros. En particular resalta su estilo de composición que lo convierten en un “Guitar Hero”. Bien sea de la banda Rhapsody o el proyecto de su mismo nombre, en especial( y muy recomendado)su álbum: “King of the Nordic Twilight”, es sencillamente impresionante su trabajo. Lastimosamente solo cuenta con un vídeo el cual dejo para quien aun no conozca a este guitarrista…

Algunos links:
http://www.neoclassicalrevelation.com
http://www.lucaturilli.com
http://www.rhapsodyoffire.com
!Virtuoso maestro! -Espero sus comentarios-\m/

Grandes Guitarristas : Luca Turilli.

Amaméndez — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 10:00:40 +0000

Uno de los más virtuosos guitarristas que he visto, este maestro de la guitarra le hace honor a ese gran instrumento llevándolo al extremo. Me gusta mucho su técnica cargada de complejos arpegios y que le brinda un estilo único a sus interpretaciones.

Mi instrumento predilecto es la guitarra (se nota ¿verdad?) y como tal admiro a los grandes exponentes musicales que se destacan con ella en sus respectivos estilos, tales como: Paco de Lucía, Yngwie Malmsteen, Luca Turilli, Joe Satriani, Carlos Santana, Jimi Hendrix entre muchos más.

Como he dicho en otro post, es importante que la gente aprenda a dominar por lo menos un instrumento musical; Indistintamente cualquiera que sea el que le guste, desde Flauta hasta Arpa (Hay mucha tela de donde cortar).

Lo importante es aprender aunque sea lo básico ya que la música es un lenguaje universal que se puede expresar en infinidad de formas.

La música es inspiradora y expresa nuestras más intrínsecas emociones.

Hasta la próxima.-

Friggin Epicness of goddamn doom

shinjischneider — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 13:30:40 +0000

Normalerweise bin ich nicht der Typ, der in seinem Blog Werbung für andere machen will aber Weiah

Crappy's Guitar 101: Episode 1 Pickup Abusers or Pickup Fuck-ups

crappystruth — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 16:03:22 +0000

In this new column entitled “Crappy’s Guitar 101″ I’m going to talk about the DO’s and DONT’s of guitardom. This will be a limited run of columns and won’t necessarily be a regular column as in weekly or monthly. But rather, when I feel like it. So, for this alone you may want to check back.

I’ve decided to attempt to teach you knuckle-dragging, cavemen mongrels (if it’s at all possible to teach people so brain-damaged as yourselves) some simple tips, brain-numbing obvious things and general ideas you can implement, to improve your own pathetic playing. Or as I like to call it, your hacking away on that poor defenseless instrument the same as you’re chopping a small tree with a hatchet. Now, playing a guitar well, is not as hard as so many of you may think. Although, for some of you getting that beer or joint to your mouth is a challenge.

Because playing the electric guitar technically speaking, is relatively simple. There are only so many ways to do it. Most are incorrect. And, I’ll cover these and other things in future 101’s. So, since there isn’t too much to it, unless you’re one of the tens of millions who like to make a mountain out of a mole hill as is done with playing guitar… my columns will be relatively short. My columns will be broken down into two (2) categories:

1. The Problem

2. The Fix

Today, I will educate you birdbrain’s about proper use of pickups. When to use which one. What to use when you practice.

I thought youtube was a great Internet goodie in the beginning. Now, it’s more painful than it is fun when watching some kind of music. It allows me to see just how vast the number is of jack-asses who can’t play guitar, and then are complimented be equally stupid, spectator assholes encouraging them by leaving positive comments.

The Problem: Abusing the FRONT or NECK pickup.

This IS the biggest fuck-up I see (AND HEAR!!). On youtube and at any local guitar store.

The name of the front pickup is “THE CHEAT PICKUP.”

It’s called the cheat pickup because, if you can’t play clean, flip to the cheat to cover up ALL of your mistakes. The low frequency bass that cuts out most of the treble “HIDES” what you are really doing. And, what you’re really doing is SLOP, SLOP, SLOPPY!! You are CHEATING!!! You are NOT playing FAST, YOU ARE NOT PLAYING CLEAN. YOU ARE FAKING!!! YOU REALLY CAN NOT PLAY FAST OR CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE A LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are lying to everyone listening and most importantly, you are lying to yourself. You putrid fuckers really think you’re kidding US??!!!!!!…..THE EXPERTS!!!!!!!! You LIARS think you’re tricking us, putting one over on us. Bull-Fuckin’-Shit!!!

The front pickup is a crutch to those who can’t play. To those who can play, it’s just another tool for the creation process of this art form.

The Fix: The Bridge Pickup aka Rear Pickup.

The bridge pickup, DOES NOT LIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The bridge pickup TELLS THE TRUTH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The bridge pickup TELLS THE WORLD THE TRUTH ABOUT THE PLAYER YOU REALLY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Using the bridge pickup will EXPOSE EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING WRONG!!!!!!!!

And, for this reason alone, you will use the bridge pickup EXCLUSIVELY DURING YOUR NORMAL DAILY PRACTICING.

When you can play CLEAN with the bridge pickup, you then may use the front pickup as desired and NOT AS A CRUTCH.

Here endeth today’s lesson.

Crappy xo

Click the link here for Episode 2:

http://crappystruth.wordpress.com/2009/05/26/crappys-guitar-101-episode-2-using-the-vibrato-bar/

SVARET!!

jespeeer — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 22:44:42 +0000

Här kommer det!

Det blev en klar seger för Manowar med 13 starka röster mot de andra med 7 var.

Det känns väl helt okej för vår del också för jag vill inte vara Hammerfall och David vill inte vara Luca Turilli.

Frågan kommer inom kort, bildspelet från efterrätten kommer i början av veckan.

Vi hörs!

Sobre el estado actual de Rhapsody of Fire...

demonheart — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 12:21:39 +0000

Escribo este post ya que imagino que otros, como yo en su momento, se preguntarán qué ha sido de la banda de Symphonic-Hollywood-Motion-Epic-Fantasy-Happy (etc xD) metal, Rhapsody of Fire.

Hace unos días estuve indagando a ver si habían noticias de alguna gira (llevan 6 años sin pisar España) o de nuevo albúm (el último, Triumph or Agony, que personalmente me pareció el disco más lento y aburrido de la banda con diferencia, salió hace ya dos años); en la web oficial llevaban meses sin actualizar, y en webs del mundillo no logré encontrar nada, hasta que llegué al foro oficial.

Después de buscar un rato, encontré un topic en el que se comentaba que la banda actualmente está teniendo serios problemas con su actual discográfica; pongamonos en antecedentes: en el 2004 aprox., Rhapsody cambiaban de discográfica y pasaban a Magic Circle Music, discográfica presidida por Joey DeMaio, más conocido por ser el bajista y “líder” de Manowar.

No se puede culpar directamente a Magic Circle por el, pienso personalmente, gran bajón de calidad que ha pegado la banda, pero sí que es curioso que esto ocurriese nada más entrar en ella, y después de hacer un tan buen disco cómo Power of the Dragonflame… de lo que sí que se puede acusar es que, desde esta integración, Rhapsody se ha visto limitada a tocar como teloneros de Manowar (que además, al tener estos mismos problemas a causa de un accidente que tuvo el guitarrista, cancelaron y retrasaron muchas fechas de la gira)…

La cuestión es que ahora mismo la banda se encuentra envuelta en procesos judiciales contra Magic Circle Music, con un nuevo disco al parecer ya compuesto y listo para empezar a grabar, pero que aún no pueden lanzar a causa de esta disputa judicial. Entretanto, Fabio Lione, el vocalista, ha vuelto a Vision Divine, grupo en el que estuvo hasta hace unos 4 años, y Luca Turilli parece estar componiendo su siguiente disco.

Poco se sabe del futuro próximo de la banda; todo indica a que el único impedimento para seguir adelante es litigio que se está llevando a cabo, y que una vez finalizado podrán lanzar el nuevo albúm y plantear una gira en condiciones.

Personalmente, me alegro de que estén fuera de Magic Circle…la verdad es que siempre me había dado algo de mala espina la compañia – la fama de Joey DeMaio la precede (y que conste que Manowar me gustan bastante) -, y seguro que la mejor opción es cambiar a otra discográfica (la anterior, LMP, era más modesta y no podían anhelar a tener una orquesta con ésta, pero la verdad es que los discos de la banda con orquesta real son los más flojos, precisamente).

No queda más que esperar para ver cómo acaba la cosa…

Los prejuicios sobre el métal

Luis — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 05:07:29 +0000

Mientras veo el nuevo programa de Gisela Valcárcel (Bailando por un Sueño), en el que una serie de parejas muy conocidas en el medio están bailando canciones de salsa, me han dado ganas de hacer lo mismo. En verdad. Sin embargo, lo cierto es que me gusta todo tipo de música, salvo los extremos. Cumbia, chicha, salsa, música clásica, rock, punk, trova… y por supuesto métal. Sí, y a pesar que dije que no me gustan los extremos. Me gusta el métal.

Pero analicemos un poco esto último, analicemos un poco el métal. Sí, es fuerte, baterías y solos de guitarras por todas partes, músicos pelucones y satánicos que se visten de negro y luego van a drogarse en sus carros. ¿O no? Claro que no. Eso es lo que la mayoría piensa, lo que nos han enseñado en todas partes y lo que debemos dejar de pensar. Es cierto que existen metaleros que hacen todas esas cosas y es cierto que hay grupos que hacen cualquier cosa que más se parece a ruido que a música, pero eso no es todo lo que el métal nos puede ofrecer.

El power métal es una variante del métal. Se caracteriza por su velocidad y por los solos de guitarra fácilmente apreciables y que poseen armonía como un conjunto. Las notas se entienden. Las letras son de temas muy diferentes entre sí y dentro de este grupo encontramos a bandas como Helloween o Angra.

El epic métal es el que más gusta. Es una rama del power métal y además de la velocidad de este último, contiene letras épicas que nos recuerdan grandes gestas, reales o no. También podemos encontrar muchos guiños a la música clásica, como violines, coros, órganos, clavecines, etc. Muchas veces podemos hacernos la pregunta si lo que estamos escuchando es una obra de Bach o una canción de epic métal. En este grupo tenemos a mi banda favorita, Rhapsody, también a Luca Turilli y por supuesto a los españoles de Mago de Oz.

Hay que darle una oportunidad al métal, quizás nunca veamos gente bailando en un concurso alguna canción de este género como pasa en el concurso de Gisela con la salsa o la cumbia, pero creo que no debemos desaprovechar las visitas de tantas buenas bandas de métal al Perú como Sonata Arctica, Megadeth y próximamente, Mago de Oz.

Chi Sarà il vero Metavichingo dell'Universo?!

arlongpark — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:46:01 +0000

Chi sarà il Vero Dominatore dell’universo? Chi tra il leggendario Luca Turilli e il fortissimo He Man potrà prevalere sull’altro? Ma sopratutto… ci sarà mai un vincitore in questa lotta che potrebbe perdurare nei secoli dei secoli? Chi tra l’intrepido venditore di montagne naniche , e il distruttore di scheletri ammantati, diventerà il vero MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE?

Luca Turilli , Signore dei regni

arlongpark — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 16:12:28 +0000

Indiscusso eroe delle saghe più epiche e metallare , cavalcatore di draghi, Venditore ambulante di montagne e scrgni magici, Sterminatore di orchi, colui che guarda sempre e solo verso l’infinito stringendo in pugno la sua Spada di Smeraldo, corona salda in testa e cavalcatura lesta. Egli vive e vivrà sino a quando avranno vita gli dei nel suo mondo fantastico tra subdoli goblinoidi e magnifici elfi su bianchi destrieri, tra feroci troll ,orchi e coraggiosi e impavidi Nani.

Non è forse lui il vero eroe? Colui che dopo l’incoronazione da parte del re degli elfi guarda la luna e col suo magico tridente gli spara una palla di fuoco ( creata con la mistica magia di Paint ) distruggendola??

Non è forse stato lui a salvarci dai Lupi mannari in questo modo? Perchè credete che siano dventati così rari ormai?

Forse il primo giocatore di D&D al Mondo, probabilmente quando egli si generò ( da solo come tutti gli Dei) diede allo stesso creatore di D&D l’Idea di creare un gioco di ruolo che sarebbe perdurato nei secoli e gli consegnò le 3 sacre scatole: Quella Rossa , quella Blu e quella Nera!

Oscure Voci dicono che sia solo un buffo ometto ; a quelle voci io rispondo NO! E siete fortunati che egli lasci il libero arbitrio o vi avrebbe già fulminato come ha fatto con la Luna! Potrete assistere ad una sua apparizione durante uno dei suoi famosi concerti o in una qualsiasi pizzeria gestita esclusivamente da Nani però!

GLI HANNO DEDICATO ANCHE UNA CARTA DI MAGIC!!! visitate le altre pagine sul mio Blog per vederla!

"SHREDDING" What is it???!!

crappystruth — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:16:20 +0000

SHREDDING. What is it? Who does it? Who does it RIGHT? Who does it WRONG? How can I tell the difference? How can I be sure to do it right? Why should I give a shit? Why is shredding so bashed on? Why is shredding so misunderstood?

Shredding is a subject that is the biggest debated, most heatedly argued about subject in all of the guitar world. People who actually totally suck are held up as guitar hero’s. Real players who are truly legendary are at best glanced at, then forgotten, but normally ignored. Why is this? How and why has this reversal occurred? From the 17th century towards the end of the 20th century (1991 or so to be specific) a musician was treated with the highest respect if he was of an incredible ability. The most well known and relatively recent examples of this are: Nicolo Paganini, Franz Liszt, Frederic Chopin. And these legends seem to have faded.

These and so many countless other musicians of a supernatural caliber have been ignored with almost no exception (Coletrane is one modern day musician occasionally talked about). Some guitar players who’ve had their day in the sun to varying degrees are Edward Van Halen, Randy Rhodes, Yngwie Malmsteen, Steve Vai and, Joe Satriani. There are others….. just fill in the blank.

Here are some of my thoughts as to why we have this continuing problem. WE as Americans are pathetically fuckin’ stupid. And sadly, it’s not limited to music. So, we have illiterate morons in varying degrees all over the country graduating and not graduating from high school with no way to tell the difference. Today when someone is gifted at something and their at a typical school k-12, the scumbag-puke, low-life students of the school will insult, berate and relentlessly harass these people and treat them as outcasts, just for using their minds. This is what we have still. But, with music we have championed mediocrity like I still can’t believe.

Shredding is:

1. Having perfect technique and applying it.

2. Having total technical command of the instrument.

3. Having very good to great musical knowledge: theory, arps, scales etc, in addition using a metronome for timing, to build lines along with all the nuances including but not limited to bending to pitch and correct vibrato. Meaning how it works and making it work for you.

4. Taking all of the above to create lyrical phrases and overall well thought out compositions and the ability to improvise very good phrasings to beautiful phrasings over any progression. Blending fast as well as slow to create a well balanced audio piece of art…….

………………..This is the GOAL

Playing guitar is one of those things that is constantly evolving and you’re always getting better (in theory). Even if you can’t do something today, tomorrow you will hopefully be a little better. Why is shredding always attacked? Because the people who attack it are lazy, jealous, resentful, butt-fuckin’ slobs who will never put in the flight time to do it right. And that lack is carried over into and through out their pathetic lives. Misery loves company. And, since we Americans overall are fuckin’ miserable, wretched slugs, this is what we do. Bitch about, bash, attack and insult talented people because we aren’t willing to do what it takes ‘THE WORK” to accomplish greatness ourselves. You know….like when you insult the Japanese saying, ” Look at those rice patty slopes playing shredding guitar! They’ll never be as good as an American!” Yep, I’ve heard you fuckers say this kind of shit when you thought no one was around. Well, the Asians and Europeans kick ass on guitar and fewer and fewer Americans relatively speaking are putting in the “CORRECT” time into burning ourselves. It doesn’t have to be this way.

But, until enough of you filthy fuck’s clean up your own shit, it’s gonna stay this way. Here’s a partial list of awesome players to check out, you stinkin’ jackals:

1. Shawn Lane …..the number 1 greatest of all time. So very, very far above any and all others. The greatest who ever lived and will ever live. Rest In Peace, Shawn. Musically speaking, G*d himself spoke through this man.

2. Alan Holdsworth—Living Legend

3. Greg Howe—Outstanding player by any account

4. Larry Mitchell—–has a fluidity, class and style that’s so original and a breath of fresh air. Shredding without shredding.

5. Frank Gambale—an original burner with terrific phrasing

6. Bret Garsed—-along with T.J. have produced some of the best guitar music recorded.

7. Roy Ashen and T.J. Helmrich— the two most incredible 8 finger players I’ve ever heard.

8. Al Di Meola

9. Yngwie Malmsteen The guy who pioneered shred. Yngwie did what Ritchie Blackmore was always too inept to do. Yngwie consistently has outstanding vibrato, bends and is about as clean of a player as they come. And, Yngwie was also responsible for ending the abuse of two handed, one finger on the right hand hammer-on-pull-off’s that ran rampant in the very early 80’s.

10. Jason Becker

11. Kei Morioka Of all the terrific japanese players I’ve heard, and their are many, including but not limited to the most well known, Akira Takasaki, Kei Morioka is head and shoulders above them all. In fact, I believe Kei Morioka is one of the top 5 greatest electric guitar players that has ever lived. Bar none.

12. Randy Rhoads

13. Michael Lee Firkins

13. Craig Collins Turner www.craigcollinsturner.com

14. Marty Friedman

14. Scott Henderson

15. Chet Thompson

16. Steve Morse

17. Paul Gilbert Fantastic alternate picking an fun shapes.

18. Steve Vai Maybe you’ve heard of’em? Hey Stevie, thanks for that aborted abomination “Sex and Religion.” Steve, without a doubt, is one of just a tiny few of the most lyrical players to ever lift a guitar.

19. Dallas Perkins Fairly unknown but I just like his playing. He’s been very creative over the years and a helluva nice guy.

20. Jake E. Lee The greatest live performer I’ve ever seen. And, the best live performer of Randy Rhoads material too.

21. Joe Holmes

22. Rob Marcello Because I’m quite pissed off with Rob, I’m very reluctant to say anything good about this clown. Ya know Rob, here in America among the civilized few, it’s customary to say thank you when someone goes out of their way to make arrangements to HELP you get your fuckin’ ass into this country!! I normally expect to be kissed when I’m getting fucked. So to that, thanks Rob. This Swede can burn with pretty good phrasing and ”okay” songs. There, ya happy Rob?!! Now, stick it up your ass!!

23. The DeMarco Brothers, Freddy & Johnny Terrific duo and their CD Shipwrecked is too damn cool.

24. Patrick Rondat

25. Luca Turilli Along with keyboardist Alex Staropoli

26. Todd Duane You had so much promise. Especially with Lale Larsen on keys. Maybe if you had taken some classes on marketing and “self-promotion” instead of wasting away with a cover band for over 10 years. Todd, another name is called “shmoozing.“ That’s the secret you couldn’t figure out. Now that you’ve got a family without having had any success prior to having a family, you are finished, my friend. Just sad. Todd, I remember when…..

27. Chris Impellitteri He was burning during Yngwie’s formative years. I’ve always liked Chris’ playing and was very happy when he parted ways with Graham ” I’m a drunk and love Coors too much” Bonnet. I still don’t hear the appeal of Grahams vocals.

28. Ronni Le Tekro

29. Kiko Loureiro Isn’t too bad…

30. Brian Carol aka Buckethead Brian and I were introduced to each other many years ago (yes, without the bucket and mask) and I found him to be a very quiet and pleasant guy. I find Brian’s music overall to be just too peculiar for me. I very much like the Nottingham Lace version live. The version where you hear a guys voice at the beginning in the back yell, “Buckethead thank you for coming!” There are others. Brian can burn, there’s no doubt. But, I have a low threshold for heavily discordant, incoherent material. His “Leatherface – gore” theme is amusing but wears thin fast for me. Brian’s the best thing ever to happen to G n’ R. That’s one band I may have to do a post on. I just don’t fuckin’ like ‘em.

31. Bruce Bouillet of Racer-X Got all of Paul’s sequences down and to speed within a week or so of Paul teaching them to Bruce. And, I’ve always felt Bruce was a better player than Paul, which is no slam to Paul at all.

32. Chris Arvan Was Paul Gilbert’s replacement in Racer-X and had no problem in any way at all filling Paul’s shoes. Those of you fortunate enough to hear Chris absolutely rip live when he was 19/20yrs old know this is true. Chris had some very cool and creative ideas, and was a noticeably much better player than Paul. Chris (and Bruce), as a relatively unknown player(s), was able to read the writing on the wall and see where the guitar scene was going early enough and did what was best for him and save himself. Which, in the end, is really all any of us can do. Cool man. That goes for Bruce B. too.

And, let’s not forget the guitar player who started it all, and saved us all with the guidance and leadership of the number one greatest rock frontman in rock history, Diamond David Lee Roth. Yep, I’m talkin’ about Edward Van Halen. Edward, who showed us all what it meant and still means to be a showman and combine that with a fantastic and unique playing ability. To have the ability to go-off with a smile on his face and have tons of fun doing it. While at the same time inspire millions and millions and millions to pick up a guitar and learn to have our own brand of fun too. And, for us to try to live our dreams.

There is one maybe two of these players (Alright!! Maybe more!!) who have an odd ball way of picking which I don’t recommend doing.

Honorable Mention

These players don’t necessarily fit into the category above, but they are terrific in their own right, and I happen to really like much of what they’ve done over the years. And, I wanted to have a section called “Honorable Mention.” But, there are some people from above who are more appropriate to be in here. So at some point I’ll adjust the above list slightly. You just may be surprised! Like who???? You’ll just have to check back, won’t cha!!

Warren De Martini of RATT Warren is one of my very favorite players. Warren is what I call a “Finesse” player and a bona fide original. This guy is just so damn smooth. He’s got just enough speed to let you know he can, and yet, never over does it. His phrasing is always very tasty. Warren’s got this lite touch with great dexterity, really cat-like, and flavors his leads with a wide array of colors and textures without ever getting too weighted down or old. And, just enough aggression when it’s called for. Warren never over plays anything, and when I listen to him, he sounds as though he’s somehow channeling energy like he’s a magician that makes it happen out of nowhere. Warren is just one helluva well balanced and creative player, with seemingly no end to his creative ideas executed perfectly every time. Just great.

George Lunch…err..ahh Lynch of Dokken and Lunch Mob I liked George’s materiel most with Dokken. His intro to Paris is Burning Live is terrific. The songs were very cool and George is another player that never over plays. He’s got speed and puts it in where appropriate and a very unique vibrato where he slides up and down the neck very fast. Really creative and another real original. I’ve always felt George and Warren seemed to be from the same musical neighborhood. They are very similar in some way that I can’t seem to explain, but still different enough that one doesn’t sound like a copy of the other. And, still have established more than enough individualistic style, that you won’t confuse one for the other.

Vivian Campbell of DIO Viv was Ronnie James Dio’s first guitarist when Ronnie went out on his own. Songs like Rainbow in the Dark and Last in Line show off what Viv could do in a very aggressive way. But, I just never dug his tone. It sounds like very crunchy, over cooked fried chicken sounds when you’re chomping on it.

Andy Timmons This guy does a lot of stuff really, really well. A versital player who really came into his own starting in the middle part of the 90’s, but kicked ass before that point. Plus, he’s a cool guy.

Who sucks? For a guy who has a B.A. in music and has had it for over 25 years, Michael Angelo still can’t come up with a half way decent tune. What the fuck??!! Michael has been able to make a living doing clinics around the world, teaching his brand of PAINFULLY BORING, USELESS, BRAIN NUMBING, 30+ year old ideas (that sucked the first time around) to a brand new, fledgeling group of guitar players and how to pick fucked up. His speed, at best is barely adequate. But……his stuff with Holland wasn’t too bad. Hey Mike, have you finally learned your lesson about “locking” the doors on your equipment truck? And, maybe it’s not such a good idea to park it overnight in a K-mart parking lot!! Ya think?!!!

Zakk Wylde. Everytime I see or hear this filthy, grimy, shit-throwing monkey I wanna puke. Zakk is the type of savage that people immigrate to avoid. Go read my page on him.

John Petrucci. Almost as fuckin’ boring as Michael Angelo. John may very well be Michael Angelo’s long lost twin brother. John’s 2 hour instructional video is the largest collection of the most utterly useless bunch of sequences and exercise’s I’ve ever seen in one place. Look, if I wanted to hear Paul Gilbert junior I’d listen to Russ Parrish. John’s phrasing sounds as creative as listening to bricks hit a wall.

Slush of G n’ R…..ugh!! yuck!! Even coming across a picture of him, I swear I can smell his dirty, unwashed presence.

Dimebag Darrell …….one sloppy-ass player. This has nothing to do with the tragedy of him being killed. So, don’t send me your shit.

Herman Li and Sam Totman. I am a very fair guy. I always give credit where it’s due. Before I cut loose on these two I will say their songs are fun and very enjoyable. Mainly because their bandmates have enough talent to save their asses by creating enough stability to support their bullshit. Herman and Sam are perfect examples and poster boys of two sloppy-ass, fuckin’ rank novice hacks that use delay and chorus effects both set on 11 because they can not play anything clean to save their lives. I liked (and still like very, very much) this type of playing when it was done clean and correctly the first time it came out, in the 80’s!! Watching these two dorks live, puts a knot in my stomach and to think, This is what it’s come to. Herman has very cool hair, maybe he’s got a future as a spokesman for L’Oréal, “After all, aren’t you worth it?”

And of course the legendary masters of suck: Santana, Clapton, Page, Lifeson. I’ve got posts on them here.

Read my other posts and more to come….

On the fence section:

Richie Kotzen… I can’t fairly put this guy in the “who sucks” section, but I sure as hell won’t put him in the positive section either. I suppose he’s in this section called “on the fence.”

Now, this guy I have a personal issue with that overshadows his playing ability. So, that will heavily influence my comments here, but not enough to be inaccurate about his playing. Richie has a very serious problem for close to 20 years now with chasing women who are already in a relationship with a man (one woman I knew among them), rather than him (Richie), just finding his own, unattached, unmarried, single woman. And, Richie not understanding what it means when a woman says, “no, I’m not interested!,” as one woman told him loudly while in line at the fuckin‘ bank. By Richie continuing to doing this, this is an invitation to death.

Richie started his career signing a deal with Shrapnel Records which was one of the two labels that was the standard operating procedure for shred players to sign with in the 80’s and 90’s. Relativity Records was the other label but Relativity Records treated their talent roster better. Normally, when you sign to a label, it’s for one maybe two albums with an option for another one or two depending how well the first one(s) sell. Richie was being herald at this time as the next Steve Vai, which I instantly thought was as ridicules as saying, it’s nice to French-kiss the back-end of an angry skunk. Richie signed to do not 1, not 2, not even 3, but seven albums with Shrapnel. This is the move of a blithering fuckin‘ idiot. But, this is the first of a number of Richie’s major career fuck-ups.

Richie’s playing style is made up of doing, or ripping off licks and shapes done by other, better players who did it better, and Richie just replaying them. He pulls it all off technically pretty well and pretty cleanly. But, in the end it’s still a lackluster effort. His songs on his first few albums were “okay” at best and I feel better than his current stuff. Richie’s vocals are bland and lifeless, he should stick to guitar only.

Because of Richie’s constant bullshit antics over too many years, he will never have or be what he possibly, but unlikely could have had and been. So, in the end, he is exactly where he should be, a border line, second rate, hired gun. A hired gun that is only, strictly picked when all the good players are busy with other projects. As harsh as this may sound, Richie is no where near as bad as the rip-off king, John Petrucci.

Oh! by the way, anchoring your picking hand’s little finger or any finger on the body of the guitar is total bullshit. DON’T FUCKIN’ DO IT!!! I don’t give a fuckin’ shit how fast some prick plays doing this, he’ll play FASTER picking from the wrist and not anchoring. Pick from the wrist. And stop with the drunken spider fretting hands too!!! One more thing, get your thumb off the top of the neck and having it hang over on to the fretboard!! A guitar is a musical instrument, not a fuckin’ baseball bat, you brain damaged, vivisection monkeys!!

People who only hear fast notes with every shred player have the musical equivalent/development of a kindergartner. The vast number of people who make this “no feeling” statement are really at the baby food stage of musical development. Or, they’ve been repeatedly beaten about the skull with a ball-peen hammer. Another way to recognize these musically illiterate people, is how they hold a spoon or fork, like they’re a 2 year-old child using a sandbox shovel. And, breathe outta their wide-open mouth while eating. For many of you, just look in the mirror.

Another thing, and this applies to so many of you fucks, in fact just about all of you who are under the age of 25/30….. if you fall into this catagory I’m talkin’ directly to you. Except for MY ENLIGHTENMENT and very rare, fluke exceptions, none of you shit-kickin’, nose-pickin’, paint chip eatin’, snot eatin’, braindead vegetables knows what the fuck it means to shred. It goes so far, very far beyond mere speed. Even after I’ve given countless specific instructions both directly and between-the-lines, so many times to you filth beneath my feet, you still feebly try to talk shit. But, really, why should I be suprised.

And, for those of you over the age of 50 or are hung-up on the 60’s hippie bullshit ( and look how well the 60’s ”let’s change the world” turned out for all of you. Many of you became the rich, hypocritical, yuppie, capitalist pig’s you claimed to be so fuckin’ against in the 60’s. I love and believe in capitalism and am a capitalist myself. Unlike you fake fuckers, I’m up-front about it. ), if you didn’t understand the shred scene during it’s heyday during the 80’s, which is the BEST and most prolifically abundant and fruitful musical decade so far, you just never will. And that is pathetically sad in it’s own right.

Well, that’s it for now, kiddies. I may expound another time in a new post or increase this one. So, what are YOU going to do? Continue to suck….. or do something about it?

Until next time…..

Love, Crappy xo

Do you want to know who I am? Who the hell is Crappystruth?? Click this link below to learn more about me.

http://crappystruth.wordpress.com/2007/07/03/hello-world/

Luca Turilli - King Of The Nordic Twilight

rockofages — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 08:13:43 +0000

Details: Year of release : 1999 Label : Limb Music / SPV Review format : CD A few years ago I went t

Rhapsody - The Magic of the Wizard's Dream (Review)

gawibowo — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 07:43:10 +0000

Rhapsody (now Rhapsody Of Fire) is an Italian metal band that is well known for combining metal with classical and bombastic orchestra. This is their singles contains 8 songs. 6 of them is the variations of the song “The Magic Of The Wizard’s Dream” with 4 different languages and featuring legendary Hollywood actor Christopher Lee (Count Dooku in the Star Wars prequel trilogy, Saruman in the Lord of the Rings film trilogy) duet with Fabio Lione.

Tracklist:

1. The Magic of the Wizard’s Dream – Original English version (duet with Lee)
2. The Magic of the Wizard’s Dream – Italian version (duet with Lee)
3. The Magic of the Wizard’s Dream – French version (duet with Lee)
4. The Magic of the Wizard’s Dream – German version (duet with Lee)
5. The Magic of the Wizard’s Dream – Orchestral English (duet with Lee)
6. The Magic of the Wizard’s Dream – Album version
7. Autumn Twilight
8. Lo Specchio D’Argento

Luca Turilli - King Of The Nordic Twilight (Review)

gawibowo — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 07:22:05 +0000

Excellent symphonic power metal album with the lyrics telling a fantasy story about dragon, elves, king, knight, warrior, princess, magic, spell etc. This is the first solo album (released in 1999) by Italian guitar master and composer Luca Turilli after 2 album with his main band (Rhapsody).

Beautiful musical composition by Luca himself, with a touch of opera and classical elements. Fantastic choir and orchestration!!! Olaf Hayer (the male singer) reminds me of Michael Kiske (ex-Helloween vocalist). The female singer (Rannveig Sif Sigurdardottir) also sings in Kamelot and Shaman.

Tracklist:
1. To Magic Horizons (1:21)
2. Black Dragon (5:05)
3. Legend Of Steel (5:21)
4. Lord Of The Winter Snow (6:06)
5. Princess Aurora (3:47)
6. The Ancient Forest Of Elves (4:44)
7. Knight Of Immortal Fire (3:22)
8. Throne Of Ice (1:52)
9. Where Heroes Lie (4:24)
10. Warrior’s Pride (3:48)
11. Kings Of The Nordic Twilight (11:37)
12. Rannveig’s Lullaby (hidden track)