Qui c’est qui lit “Elle” dans la réserve?

J’ai croisé Geneviève, j’ai pas vu que c’était elle!

Mais non Karine, ça craint rien du tout, avec l’électricité!

Allo l’astreinte? Je crains le pire avec l’électricité….

Qui c’est ça, madame Chouar?

Avec une pelle en plastique, et une raclette c’est très partique

• je peux vous mettre de la cire ?
• allez-y, faites-vous plaisir

- 4 dans votre groupe c’est pas trop, vous pouviez pas en prendre qu’un ?

- j’ai pris les 2, j’ai pas pu choisir

Don’t ask me how to pronounce that, I have no idea. Akaelae is a web-comic by Tiffany Ross. It’s one of those rare gems that warm the heart (and not only by raising your adrenaline level). If you like Stan Sakai’s Usagi Yojimbo or Elfquest, you’ll live this, too. It’s the story of a couple of childhood friends that get in all kinds of adventures at school, home, even space. The focus is rarely on the action but on the emotions and reasons of the characters. It’s about how people can hurt each other and how they deal with it. Here is an example: Darrik, a young, lonely black fox is moving to a new room and wants to say goodbye to a shy albino fox that’s living on the same floor. During the chat, she tells him that the wolves are only keeping them to sell them as slaves later. Which is why she is refusing to take the proficiency tests.

Darrik is confused. “Then aren’t you useless to them? If they’re running a slave trade? Wouldn’t they just sell you instead of feeding you, giving you clothing, art supplies, medical attention?”

Conclusion: Buy. You can find the whole story in the archive or support the starving artists by buying her books as PDF downloads over Lulu.

Note that the Cyantian.net site has some technical difficulties (like images not showing up) now and then, but Tiff is always quick to fix that. Drop her a polite note if something lingers for more than a few days.

El compositor y guitarrista Joe South escribió la canción que hoy enfrentamos con sus versiones. Puede que su nombre no os diga nada, pero antes de escribirla, ya había compuesto para Gene Vincent, y más tarde ganó varios Grammys gracias a su espléndido y exitoso Games people play, versioneado después por multitud de artistas, desde Dolly Parton a Inner Circle, pasando por Johnny Cash & Lulu y Jerry Lee Lewis entre otros.

Joe South también fue músico de sesión de Aretha Franklin en su magnífico y premiado Chain of Fools y de Bob Dylan en el mítico disco Blonde On Blonde. Aunque él mismo se encargó de interpretarla como podemos ver en el video, (I never promised you a) Rose Garden se convirtió en un gran éxito pero no en la voz de su autor como veremos más adelante.

En 1970 la cantante Lynn Anderson fue la artífice de que se convirtiera en la canción más vendida por una artista country femenina y que este récord durase hasta 1997. Si hoy se recuerda a Lynn es fundamentalmente por esta versión (y viceversa) ya que no pudo igualar su repercusión ni en ventas ni en posiciones en las listas de éxitos, a pesar de tener una carrera extensa y fructífera.

El grupo donostiarra Duncan Dhu hizo una adaptación de la mano de Diego Vasallo a la que titularon Jardín de Rosas, que junto a Cien Gaviotas, Esos Ojos Negros y No Puedo Evitar (pensar en ti) conformaron un segundo disco Canciones (1986) que les llevó a vender cantidades indecentes de discos y a iniciar una carrera con un éxito que no les abandonaría hasta el final. Abajo tal como la grabaron aunque a lo largo de las siguientes giras la tocarían de forma más rockera y acelerada.

I learned a couple of days ago that I can use LSI to publish ebooks without being required to put out a print edition at the same time.  This means that I can therefore use LSI in a more cost efficient way that will give me greater distribution options than going lulu.

And the costs saved by going with LSI for ebooks should allow me to offset the expense of doing a few print volumes through LSI.

I may still use lulu for a few things, but not all of the print volumes.

The one drawback to LSI is that they only publish those ebooks in adobe format.  That’s not a popular format.

My goal is still to get the 20 books out that I will need to have ready when I go to Fictionwise.  Fictionwise issues books in several popular formats at the same time.  This contributes to the fact that they are still the largest place to sell and make a profit on them.

So for those of you out there who have seen the amazingness that is Slings and Arrows, I present to you: Best Headline Ever.

Washington Shakespeare Company’s ‘Lulu’ needs a little mystery

Okay, so for those who have not yet seen the amazingness that is Slings and Arrows (for some reason), allow me to explain.

In the third season of the show, while the resident company attempts to stage King Lear, there is a guest company of young, overly energetic, often vapid musical theatre kids (ahh, stereotypes!) who are putting on a godawful rock musical called East Hastings. The lead character in the musical? A junkie hooker named Lulu.

That is why I giggled.

Please go watch that show.

7ème arrondissement, 5bis rue de Verneuil.

Serge, peintre et compositeur, est fou amoureux de l’icône de la décennie, initiales B.B. Depuis 1967, ces deux-là s’aiment d’amour tout en continuant à se vouvoyer, même si Brigitte Bardot est mariée au milliardaire Gunther Sachs. Le couple illégitime se retrouve chez elle, avenue Paul Doumer. Lui veut un endroit plus discret. Il a déjà repéré la maison de la rue de Verneuil, il l’emmène la visiter, l’agent immobilier comprend qu’il est face à une situation fantastique et chasse les autres visiteurs d’un “elle est déjà vendue”.

Gainsbourg l’appelait “mon hôtel particulier”, même si derrière le mur se cachaient de vieilles écuries. L’appartement est transformé en duplex, le noir y trouve sa place avec classe et mystère. Pendant ce temps, le compositeur crée des chansons pour sa muse, jusqu’au fatal “Je t’aime moi non plus”. Décadent, sensuel, sexuel, le titre fait un scandale lors de son unique passage en radio. Gunther rappelle sa femme à l’ordre, il profite d’un tournage en Andalousie pour la rejoindre et la reconquérir, la belle Bardot demande à Serge de stopper la sortie du disque et rompt avec lui. Les bobines finissent au coffre fort, il promet de ne jamais réenregistrer le titre avec qui que ce soit. Parole qu’il ne tiendra pas : en 1969, Jane prend la place de Brigitte et la chanson renaît. B.B. est triste, mais elle sait que c’est dans l’ordre des choses. Finalement, sa version à elle sortira dans les bacs bien plus tard, en 1986.

La maison ? Lors de la rupture, Serge décide de ne pas l’habiter. Il préfère l’hôtel, une chambre envahie de la présence de Bardot : cartes, portraits… il vit dans son souvenir. Il est encore à l’hôtel lorsqu’il tourne un film avec une jeune anglaise qui ne parle pas un mot de français. Lui espérait tourner ce film, “Slogan” (de Pierre Grimblat) avec Marisa Berenson. Du coup la petite, il la fait morfler, il n’en veut pas. Le tournage tourne au désastre, jusqu’à ce que Pierre Grimblat imagine une ruse pour réconcilier ses deux acteurs. Il leur donne rendez-vous au restaurant, mais lui n’arrivera jamais. Tête à tête forcé entre les deux, Gainsbourg arrête de faire sa tête de chou, il se laisse atteindre par la belle Birkin.

Quand leur histoire devient sérieuse, c’est elle qui propose d’emménager rue de Verneuil. Ils y vivront une dizaine d’années, auront Charlotte ensemble, puis Serge ne saura pas garder sa belle. Elle fuit, il se retrouve seul dans son duplex à la décoration si soignée. Chaque bibelot a sa place, il arrange, peaufine, il aime tellement ce lieu qu’il en fera déjà un musée de son vivant. Puis il déménage définitivement en 1991 en laissant Bambou et Lulu, derniers compagnons de route.

Charlotte Gainsbourg a d’abord voulu ouvrir un musée dans la maison de son père. Elle a commencé par régler les problèmes de paperasses, rachetant les autres parts des ayants-droit (Gainsbourg avait, en-dehors de Charlotte et Lulu, deux autres enfants de son tout premier mariage), frappant aux portes des différents ministres de la culture, Lang, Toubon… En 2001, la mairie de Paris entame sérieusement des démarches. Mais tous les projets tombent à l’eau. Derrière les volets, les meubles, les objets, tout est resté en place, paraît-il. Aujourd’hui, le projet de musée est abandonné. “Mon père appartient déjà tellement à tout le monde”, répond Charlotte quand on lui demande pourquoi.

Alors nous, on a la façade. Elle, l’intérieur. C’est dans l’ordre des choses, après tout.

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Unfortunately, “The Radiant Boy” won’t be available in time for Christmas (the book will go on sale in January 2010). A small consolation: the price for “Lieutenant Samuel Blackwood (deceased)” has been lowered by £ 1.00!

Christmas Special:

Buy “Lieutenant Samuel Blackwood (deceased)” for
£ 7.50 (Europe) or £ 8.50 (elsewhere)!

First class postage is included in these prices!

ABOUT THE BOOK

REVIEWS

PLEASE ORDER THE PRINT EDITION HERE!

PLEASE ORDER THE E-BOOK HERE!

HMS Privet has the reputation of being a cursed ship: every first lieutenant serving aboard her dies gruesomely. Lieutenant Daniel Leigh is determined to solve the mystery and volunteers for the place himself, putting his life in desperate danger. Little does he suspect that he will fall in love with the captain, John Meadows, and end up fighting not only for his own life, but for the soul of his lover, too.

Lieutenant Samuel Blackwood (deceased) – a Georgian ghost story featuring a cursed ship, a vengeful ghost, a haunted captain and a very daring lieutenant.

Illustrations: Amandine de Villeneuve
Editor: Alex Beecroft

Contains male/male romance.

Bärig, schokig, gut. Und benannt nach Lulu, dem Bären – also darf gestritten werden.

gefunden von Sille beim Simply Market im Elsass

    Transient – The Tommy Bookmark Story by Milton J Southerland is a story set in the early 1900’s.  The town and county is a shadow of the area I now live in.  Tommy Bookmark came to town to visit, a transient if you will, to study the culture as research for a book he was doing on the people from both sides of the Civil War.   The old hotel in town is a central meeting place for citizens and guest alike.  Here news and gossip are passed around. 

During one meal, Tommy rescues a young waitress (who is also a farm girl) from a stranger with wondering hands.  Later, she teaches him how to pick cotton.  Love was in the air.  Tommy settled in the little town and from there his story of duty and heroism blossom.  

Transient is available on Lulu.com and Amazon as well as other places on the web.  A softcover may be ordered or a digital version downloaded. 

The man from the car spoke first. “This fat hillbilly let his horse kick my car and I want satisfaction.”

Not knowing what else to do, he sat under the shade and let his eyelids get heavy. He did not sleep but he just as well have, for he drifted in a land between sleep and consciousness. He saw Marsha help with clearing the table. Then, she was at the well drawing water into several large tubs. The other pickers were stirring, so he got to his feet and waited. One hour to the second they loaded up for the ride back to the field. Marsha cheerfully jumped into her place.

“Don’t you ever rest?” He asked.

“Sure. Mama does not have any help at the house though, so I help her all I can.” Marsha said.

“You are amazing.” Tommy said.

“No. Mister Bookmark. I am just a farm girl.” She said.

- il a pas de photo de profil
- t’as fait F5 ?

- dis moi vite une phrase qui pète en 4 mots

- il boit sa canette
- allez lui dire de ma part qu’on va le virer

- un coup de pied au cul, oui
- envoie Framboise

This rainy day calls for some Little Lulu. I love this girl!!! She’s one of my great inspirations. I spent the last hour watching some of her cartoons and decided to share. Enjoy!

Racing through the pantry, sliding on the floors,
Hiding in the closets, slamming all the doors
How can a lady as little as you,
Raise such a rumpus and a hullabaloo?

Though the clock says 7:30, it’s really after 10;
Looks like Lulu’s been repairing it again.
Though you’re wild as any Zulu,
And you’re just as hard to tame,
Little Lulu, I love you-Lu just the same, just the same,
Little Lulu, I love you-Lu just the same.

This is a suppose book, mostly just for fun. Sumer tells the tale of a civilization that escaped earth before the flood. Then, they block earthlings from going into space. Their stated reason is that earth would pollute their society. The long time director of the space center responsible for the mission has another reason. You may read the summary at Lulu.com/countdown0

[Update, 11/22/09: It was pointed out to me this weekend that this page did not originally include the disclaimer found on my home page. The template now includes the disclaimer, and in case you don't want to look to the sidebar: This post does not necessarily represent the opinions of Harlequin.]

My computer crashed on Tuesday, and I have been culling together random moments of very slow access via the public library and the handmade-by-my-brother-in-law, Linux-run, back-up machine that doesn’t allow me to do anything I normally do on-screen.

I’m about to gnaw my fingers off in frustration!

What a week for my little laptop to go belly-up. First, I come back to the office on Wednesday (not having been able to check my email on Tuesday, see above) to find an announcement about Harlequin Horizons, Harlequin’s new self-publishing initiative. All well and good.

(I haven’t yet posted all of the info I’ve been collecting about self-publishing and POD, but these kinds of new and changing publishing models are a current passion of mine. My initial reaction to the release, as someone working in a completely different HQ division who had no access to the information about Horizons until yesterday, was unadulterated excitement.)

But then I received emails about author reactions. I received some phone calls laced with disappointment. My Google alerts went crazy. One author called the announcement of Horizons a “Harlequin s**tstorm.”

Now, this morning, I log on to an ancient public library computer–on which I’m about to run out of time–and find that RWA has officially pulled Harlequin’s eligible publisher status. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you!

I have so much to say, and yet the clock is running out. Two things, quickly:

First, the press release makes this venture sound, to me, much like a licensing agreement. Harlequin provides the “Harlequin” and Author Solutions provides the service and maintenance. As a separate division run by a partner company and distributed on a wholly separate model, Horizons is sort-of like (at least to my MBA-less mind) GE’s ownership of NBC. Related, but not by much. As such, RWA’s decision to equate Horizons with all of the thousands of Harlequin’s traditionally published books seems sort-of like deciding not to buy that nice new fridge because you don’t like Leno in prime time.

That said, Harlequin as a brand is beloved by many and known around the world. Harlequin has history; it’s part of people’s intimate lives; Harlequin–at least for me and many readers I know–was there when boys went from being icky to delicious and when love and sex were first lighting up the hormones. So, it makes me tear up a little to read the heartfelt emotions on some author blogs. There is an honest sense of betrayal here that has nothing to do with the future of publishing and everything to do with a love of reading, romance novels and the (paid) writing life.

When I can get my darned computer back together–or hack out a little more time from the public library–let’s discuss some of the issues others’ have raised:

What does Harlequin the company, which may or may not be synonymous with the Harlequin brand, already include?

MIRA and HQN, imprints that many non-category readers don’t associate with Harlequin when they see them on the shelves; manga and overseas sales that many North Americans don’t have contact with; a variety of category romances that are often misrepresented as being all one type of read (ex: everyone thinks all romance is like Presents, or that Harlequin Romance the series is the same as Harlequin romance the brand); and lots of other initiatives that have come and gone. Will a new company under the Harlequin umbrella change how readers see the brand?

Where does self-publishing stand today as an alternative to traditional publishing?

It’s growing. Lulu.com; Amazon’s self-publishing option, which they monitor for “best picks” that they then publish more traditionally in their Encore imprint; Greenleaf Book Group, which has some stellar books out now and several more in my TBR pile, calls themselves a publishing “incubator” but basically charges the author money for publishing and distribution services; Smashwords; West Bow Press–really the list keeps going.

Those watching the industry closely cannot help but see these kinds of services as a part of publishing’s future. (As a consumer, I find this very exciting. No longer are the books I want to read hemmed in by marketing guidelines. If I want it, I can probably find it published by someone.) Beyond the obvious differences in money (author advance vs. author fee), there is a huge rights difference. Authors keep all or most of the rights in self-publishing, which can offer unlimited opportunities for the right person. (The kinds of unlimited opportunities that might not happen in traditional publishing.)

Does Horizons offer false hope to aspiring authors?

This is the most eye-roll-worthy comment I’ve seen so far. Some have pointed to Horizons’ web copy, which mentions that Harlequin will monitor sales and hopefully find new authors through this program, and called it misleading. To me, the claim seems delightfully honest. Harlequin wants more bestselling authors; here’s a new way to find them. Most, if not all, of the self-publishing services I’ve seen (Author Solutions’ companies, Smashwords, Amazon, etc.) monitor sales and give special attention to the books that sell best. Harlequin is simply stating up front the hope that a few strong new voices will rise above the many. (New voices, I should add, that probably wouldn’t find an audience if forced to stay within the strict marketing plans and editorial submissions processes of traditional publishing.)

Also, when authors pay to use a service, I believe they are smart enough to do due diligence. Self-publishing is very different from traditional publishing, and anyone who chooses to pay good money for their book to be published will know the difference.

What does the rise of self-publishing in general say about the role of editors or the curation of book and author lists?

Editing is an apprenticeship skill: a little creativity, a little diplomacy, a little marketing, a little problem-solving. If everyone can publish anything they want, any time they want, is there a role for those of us who can make stories go from good to great? For those who relish the difference between a cleanly written manuscript and one that makes us laugh and cry? For those who want our favorite books in the hands of as many readers as possible? Maybe yes, maybe no. Sometimes the crowd’s choice can be much better than what is selected by the traditional model.

As an editor, as a former aspiring writer, as a voracious consumer of content in many forms, this brouhaha excites me.

It makes for a good story.

Now it’s the bozo-behind-me’s turn to use the computer. *Sigh.*

- beaucoup de bruit pour rien, comme dirait William…

- ça fait 6 mois que j’hésite entre rire et pleurer…
- un jour vous pleurez, un jour vous riez

- …

- il faut une webcam ici

- c’est pour quand vous serez mort

I know that this blog is usually all about the people food, but we recently celebrated LuLu’s birthday. I thought I’d share a treat that I made just for her!

I found this recipe for peanut butter dog treats here, a website that has lots of tasty-looking treats!

1.5 cups whole wheat flour
1.5 cups white flour
0.5 cup peanut butter
1 cup water
2 Tbsp oil

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Combine oil, peanut butter and water. Add flour, a half cup at a time, forming a dough. Knead dough into firm ball and roll to 0.25 inch thickness.

Cut into 3 to 4 inch pieces. Place on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for about 15 minutes. I got about 3 dozen cookies from this recipe, but mine weren’t exactly uniform.

This would be delightfully cute with a bone- or fire hydrant-shaped cookie cutter, but I don’t have one. Maybe someday.

We also took a trip to Petsmart for a new toy, and I made her a new bandanna! Looking sharp, isn’t she? She was so exhausted after our exciting day that she completely crashed long before bedtime. Poor baby.

Happy 2nd birthday to my pound puppy, LuLu!

Cinco pequeñas historias que, por separado, parecen carecer de importancia; pero en conjunto logran sazonar la deliciosa cotidianidad:

1. Salimos mi madre y yo en la tarde hacia Tepoztlán a recoger unas cosas. A mitad del camino, vimos que unas niñas estaban pidiendo aventón. -Oríllate jefa, yo nunca he dado aventón- le dije. Mi madre se orilló unos 5 metros adelante del grupo de niñas, en ese momento otro automóvil hizo lo mismo. Unas cuantas se fueron en el automóvil de atrás y cuatro se vinieron al nuestro. -¿A dónde van?- nos preguntó una de ellas… -A Tepoz- le respondí. -¿Nos dejan en la caseta? Nosotras vamos a Cuautla…- Y se subieron. En el camino nos iban contando que son estudiantes de secundaria que fueron a México a hacer unos trámites para la escuela. Tres de ellas eran de Jojutla y una de Guerrero. Yo les comenté que tenía una amiga también de Jojutla, que el apellido de la familia era tal. Con gesto desconcertado, me respondieron: -Jojutla es muy grande, no todos se conocen-. -¿Quién lo hubiera pensado?- dije para mis adentros… yo no conozco el mencionado pueblo pero me lo imagino muy pequeño y con todos sus habitantes muy bien contaditos. Pues nada, al final las niñas se bajaron en la caseta de Cuautla agradeciendo el aventón y nosotros seguimos con nuestro camino rumbo al Tepozteco.

2. Casi cada mes vienen a fumigar la casa. Se meten titipuchal de arañas y alacranes por cualquier rincón y pues, como hay una perrita jodona y un bebé que de vez en vez nos visita, hay que fumigar seguido. Cierto fumigador ya ha repetido su ruta aquí, aunque casi siempre varían… pero el joven en cuestión se llama Gerardo. Pues bien, la primera vez que me tocó estar aquí le pregunté a Gerardo si la sustancia venenosa no era dañina para la Hostia, me dijo que no… “sólo ataca a animales de sangre fría, insectos”. Les aclaro que Gerardo es un muy formal, humilde, pero habla mejor que el jefe delegacional, se los apuesto. Pues bien, ya ha venido a fumigar el mismo Gerry en dos ocasiones más. La segunda, no recordaba qué me había dicho, así que le volví a preguntar: “¿No le hace daño a la perrita?” “No, para nada señor, es una sustancia química que sólo afecta a los animales de sangre fría, insectos vaya”. Y fue entonces cuando recordé que ya le había preguntado eso mismo una ocasión anterior. Llegó Gerardo por tercera vez a hacer su chamba… y ya nomás de cotorreo me dije -le voy a volver a preguntar a ver qué hace-: “Gerry, ¿no le hace nada el veneno a mi perra verdad?” “No, no… es una sustancia que preparan con químicos que sólo afectan a animales de sangre fría, lo que se conoce como insectos”. Si no mal recuerdo, mañana toca fumigación… espero que venga él mismo y entonces sí: Oye Gerry, una pregunta…

3. Veníamos Hostia y yo conduciendo cerca de las 00hrs un miércoles (ya era jueves) en Periférico y Calzada de Tlalpan. Y justo en el cruce, noté que había mucha gente esperando el transporte público. No sé si habían salido de algún concierto por ahí cerca o si eran chavos emos que andaban de cábulas. Pero en verdad había muchos por ahí dando el rol. Me intrigó tanto que estuve tentado a orillarme, bajar la ventanilla y dirigirme a uno de ellos: “Disculpe buen hombre, ¿por qué tanto tumulto en el cruce? ¿De dónde diantres vienen o a dónde trastos van?”. Justo cuando estaba reduciendo la velocidad para hacer lo que tenía en mente, un luz de sirena se encendió y un altavoz me dijo: “Avanzando, avanzando que se hace más tránsito…” Me quedé con la pinche duda.

4. Esa misma noche, en cuanto llegamos a casa, le abrí el jardín a la Hostia pa’ que se echara una firmita antes de dormir. Últimamente se pasea un gato por los jardines que hace que Hostia se ponga en exceso inquieta y ladre mucho, pero mucho en verdad. Yo he visto al gato en dos o tres ocasiones: una en el jardín tomando el sol tranquilo, otra en la noche entrando a la cocina por un poco de alimento para perro y una tercera nomás de paso, saludando cordialmente, claro está. De ahí en fuera nomás Hostia lo ve o lo escucha, y el ladrido es muy particular cada que el gato se aparece, es por eso que supongo que se debe al felino en cuestión. El chiste es que ya van varias ocasiones que Hostia le ladra a la pared pero ¡no hay nada!. Yo sigo suponiendo que es el gato, porque a mi eso de los fantasmas como que no… a menos, que sea un felino camuflajeado de hojas de árbol y color pared, que eso sí puede ser. ¿O será un conejo con podadora? En fin, sólo mi amada Hostia Clementina sabrá qué la pone tan bulliciosa. ¿Alguna sugerencia para ponerle nombre al gatito?

5. Desde aquí te brinco…

Xombies: Apocalypse Blues by Walter Greatshell
Paperback: 336 pages
Publisher: Ace (September 29, 2009)
ISBN-13: 978-0441018352

Louise Pangloss, called Lulu, is a seventeen year old girl with chromosomal primary amenorrhea. This means that although she has secondary sex characteristics, i.e. breasts and pubic hair, she has never had a period and may never do so. The reason that her rare condition is important to the story is because the Maenad Cytosis infection, the outbreak of which has caused the Xombie Apocalypse, is carried by menstruating women, or women who have reached puberty and are now capable of having children. The infection is also referred to as Agent X, because it is linked to the double X chromosomes that women carry. A man can be infected by any type of Xombie, male or female, but a woman can pick it up from the very air she breathes. Pre-pubescent girls and post-menopausal women cannot get it from the air, therefore, Lulu can’t get it.

After her mother succumbs to the Xombie plague, Lulu ends up running for safety with a man she thinks might be her dad. Mr. Crowper is ex-Navy and has been asked to help a select group of people and sensitive government materials escape to the Arctic via nuclear submarine. He decides, at the last minute, to take Lulu with him. This is how Lulu ends up on as the only woman on sub with about four hundred teenage boys and a hundred adult men, trying to escape the Xombie Apocalypse.

It’s an interesting premise executed badly. I very much wanted to like this book. It’s got some of my favorite things in it: a female protagonist, zombies, evil scientists, evil corporate men, and lots of bloody action. Unfortunately, Lulu is about as interesting as a goldfish. I don’t know if Walter Greatshell has ever met a teenage girl, but after reading this book, I seriously doubt it. She’s about as believable as the thought of me enjoying the next Twilight movie. Not to mention the use of women as a catalyst for society’s downfall. Like we haven’t heard that before?

Lulu comes across as a very shallow character. I understand that this the apocalypse, but she never takes time to mourn her mother, the only parental figure she’s ever known, and she talks like a college graduate. The language quirk would be much more believable if there were some kind of plausible explanation for it, such as a wide and varied reading interest. Instead, Lulu’s background consisted of her and her mother moving continually to escape creditors, and that’s about all the back story we ever get on her. The flowery inner conversations that she drags the reader through do nothing to make her more human. Many of them don’t even make sense.

Supposedly, Lulu is the hero of the book. But I honestly cannot get behind this girl. Where a real hero would take charge of events and try to steer the course of the story, Lulu merely rides along. She’s meant to come across as supremely intelligent and mature, but instead I get the feeling that she thinks of herself as superior to just about everyone else, without a whole lot of justification. There was one very memorable scene where Lulu is put in charge of being liaison between the Navy crew of the sub and the boys who were part of the labor force that refitted it. As a means to boost morale for the group of young men stuck in a sub on very little food and severely lacking accommodations, she decides to host a poetry slam, with an entry from herself in the style of Emily Dickinson. Really? That seemed like a good way to burn off steam and turn a bunch of hormonal, edgy, fearful boys to something useful?

The heroine aside, Greatshell also has a tendency to tell the story instead of show it. He very carefully lists the names and characteristics of the boys who become Lulu’s friends, one after the other, in an inner monologue of Lulu’s. Yes, we understand that so-and-so is full of bravado and really just a scared kid, but don’t tell us that, show it to us! That is the point of a good story. We learn about the characters through their actions and their interactions with each other. You’re missing something if you feel the need to explain to the reader directly about your characters’ personalities.

There’s a very unsettling scene at the end of the book that involves the Bad Guys and their final reveal party, where their evil plan comes to light. In a world where women are basically plague carriers, where do evil rich men turn to for companionship? Why, young men of course, forced dressed as women. But you must understand most of these men are definitely Not Gay. Cross dressing is portrayed as shameful and embarrassing, the thought of being gay is seen as something to avoid, and the most powerful man in the room is the one who has access to “real” women. Shall I even go into the scene where the evil scientists rip Lulu’s clothes off in front of the entire party crowd and strap her down naked to a table in order to…give her a shot? I think I shall not. And how about the very memorable scene where Lulu finally gets her first period? Again, no.

Avoid this book. This is an attempt to cash in on the zombie craze going on right now, with a book originally published five years ago. Greatshell’s sequel to Xombies: Apocalypse Blues is apparently coming out next year, and I advise you to avoid that book, too.

Oohmygosh! I mean… OH. MY. GOSH. Have you seen the December 2009 issue of InStyle? Not only does it feature a fabulously cheeky 3D cover of Taylor Swift, a terrifically edited 2009 Holiday Gift Guide, one of the best “Deals & Steals” section ever, a New Moon star clad in fantastic frocks and the gorgeous Leona Lewis showing off the latest makeup trends, the famously well-styled magazine featured Stella & Dot within its pages again! Yipppeee!! This time, the fashion mag is offering it readers 20% OFF the featured LuLu Vintage Glass Necklace. And Stella & Dot is, of course, extending this offer toYOU! Take advantage of this great offer: Go to my e-Boutique and enter INSTYLE09 at checkout to receive 20% OFF! Offer expires December 31, 2009.

* Stella & Dot Embroided Bib Necklace in Oct 2009 Issue of InStyle Magazine
* Taylor Swift Wears Stella & Dot Cuff in Your Prom Magazine
* Stella Steal: Katherine Heigl in August 2009 Issue of InStyle Magazine