I hate speeches. Usually I’m not nervous when talking in front of the class, unless I am standing up in front of everyone. Only then, am I nervous. The librarian had a bunch of books for our class, as possible speech topics, and I came across, “Eats, shoots and leaves.” By Lynne Truss. It’s a book about punctuation; periods, commas, etc.

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.

‘Why?’ asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

‘Well, I’m a panda’, he says, at the door. ‘Look it up.’

The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. ‘Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.’

Oh the difference a comma can make. That’s what the back of the book says. I’m only 1/3 through it and it’s made me laugh quite a bit. I love the way she writes. Her vocabulary is…. *falls off chair*.

So I was going to write a speech on Punctuation. I’m not even done reading the book yet and we’re starting to present speeches tomorrow so I changed my topic to YouTube. The history of.. the creators..people famouse through youtube…..

Shit I’d better start cracking.

I found out that Pocky is ACTUALLY japanese so my mom let me buy it. Finally… she’s put me on a Pocky ban because of several milk-chinese products have been recalled and containing stuff.

Heaven. At last <3

edit: 2 hours later and I AM DONE! Gosh that was terrible. My youtube speech is completed. Time. To. Sleep.