So by now, you should know that Donny & Kym won the big mirror ball trophy on “Dancing With The Stars.” I figured it would be hard to miss. So if you’re still interested in a recap of last night’s show, you’ll find it after the jump.

We got to see all the couples from season nine, with the final three couples making the grand entrance. Uh-oh. Miss Piggy – or at least the back of her head appeared as the recap of Monday’s performances played. Live TV, people. So here’s what we do when there are problems, we go to break, regroup, then get back to it. So happy Tom Bergeron is the host! He is a true pro!

Here are the standings:

1. Mya & Dmitry – 87 points

2. Donny & Kym – 85 points

3. Kelly & Louis – 76 points

First performance of the night comes from Whitney Houston. She performed “Million Dollar Bills.” Sorry. Can’t watch her. I don’t think she sings any more. It’s like she just speaks the lyrics.

It’s time for “The Losers Club.” It’s the people who are the first to be kicked off the show. Jeffery Ross returns in a sequined jacket to roast/induct a new member into the club. Ashley Hamilton gets his jacket. Jeff called it a “token of your suckiness.” He said when Ashley was out there, people thought it was a telethon for the uncoordinated. Then, Ashley said he’d give his dance with Edyta his full 10%. Ashley dropped Edyta, then danced with Jeff. Then (the horror!), they opened their shirts! That’s comedy, right? Tom said Jeff’s stomach was whiter than a snow drift. True.

Like deja vu, we get the first of many recaps of the entire season. Sorry, folks. I’m hitting FF. I’ve sat through the whole season. I could just go back and read my recaps if I wanted to live it again. Kathy Ireland & Tony Dovolani danced. If she danced like this weeks ago, she might have made it further. They were followed by Macy Gray & Jonathan Roberts. I’m still uncomfortable watching Macy dance. Debi Mazar & Maksim Chmerkovskiy. She was lovely.

Another taped piece looks back at what became “DWTS: The Season of The Flu/Injuries.”

Tom DeLay & Cheryl Burke returned to do the Texas Two Step. If not for injury, I totally believe The Hammer could have made it to the finale! This was his dance – even the booty shake. Only made me feel a little uncomfortable. Still, he is fun to watch!

Taped piece looking back at the fourth and fifth weeks of competition. FF again. Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya performed. He still scares me. Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer performed next. Then, Chuck and Mark did some fighting. Don’t worry, no one got hurt. Except maybe my eyes.

Adam Carolla gave Donny some advice on how to win. Really? Adam can’t dance! Kelly and Mya showed up. Adam called the ladies “the enemy.” Then, he tried hard to be funny. FF.

Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo returned to perform. She was good. Why didn’t she make it through the competition?

Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas performed in bright yellow and purple. Is that a ploy to get Lakers tickets? She was so good!

The judges talk about the finalists. Len said Kelly is unexpected. Bruno said she’s wonderful in hold. Len said she engages with the audience. Carrie Ann said Donny is an incredible showman. Len said Donny lights up the ballroom with every dance. Bruno said Donny is solid and never underperforms. Len said Mya has the talent to take the title. Bruno said Mya uses her body like a musical instrument.

Another re-introduction of the final three. Come on, ABC! Content, please! FF again.

Kelly & Louis performed their Viennese waltz from earlier in the season. It did look like Kelly forgot a step towards the end. Still loved this dance. Len said of all the celebrities who have been on the show, he’ll miss her the most because he loves watching her every week. The audience was chanting for her. Bruno said she may come from rock and roll royalty, but she has earned her place as a ballroom princess. Carrie Ann through tears, she doesn’t know if anyone has ever touched her as much as Kelly has. She said every time she watched Kelly dance, she was growing every step of the way.

Mya & Dmitry performed their jive from earlier in the season. It was just as fun as the first time they performed it! Bruno said Mya was sharp, slick, never missed a beat. He said she never dropped her standards throughout the season. Carrie Ann said every season, someone sets the pace and that has been Mya from day one. She called Mya a star. Len said they’ve had a few ups and downs but he never doubted her dance talent. He called her fantastic.

Donny & Kym performed the Argentine tango from earlier in the season. I’m glad they chose this. Donny couldn’t smile one bit during this performance. I like that it was not a showman’s dance. Carrie Ann said Donny has graced them with show stopping performances. She was glad he chose that as his final dance because it was artistry in motion. Len said Donny has been mostly good, sometimes bad and one dance was pretty ugly. But he never lost his performance. He said Donny finished strong. Bruno said Donny is a great performer. He said Donny reaches the dark side and uses it well.

The judges ranked the finalists for the final round. Here’s how they chose ‘em:

1. Donny & Kym – 30 points

2. Mya & Dmitry – 28 points

3. Kelly & Louis – 26 points

Wow!

Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower danced to “Puppy Love” performed by Donny. Do they have something to tell us? The song started slow, then got fast and the dance included a great lift and lots of tumbling from Louie. Donny gave them two thumbs up. Samantha said Chelsie & Louie are not dating. OK. I believe that.

Michael Irvin & Jerry Rice perform a dance off. Jerry performed with Anna Trebunskaya, while Michael got his partner, Anna Demidova, back. I’m giving Michael the edge because he has a more intense dance face. That said, watching these two dance, then fight over a football made me realize why they did not make it to the finals. It was fun. Not great. The judges awarded the mirror ball ring to Michael. There was celebrating. Then, the judges stopped that. They decided the battle of the bodies goes to Jerry.

Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff performed their quick step.

Miss Piggy was backstage with Cloris Leachman, Jerry Springer, Steve Wozniak and Joanna Krupa. They all seemed to be afraid of Miss Piggy. Huh? Then, those four took the stage to do a competition mambo. Cloris stood still for a bit as Corky seemed to shake her to life. The Woz did a lot of hobbling about in a pink boa. Jerry still made me a bit uncomfortable (I was afraid he might hurt himself). Cloris & Corky were the first eliminated. Jerry & Edyta were booted. How could Joanna not shine here? She’s left with The Woz? Then, a partner switch. Steve & Karina were booted. Surprise, surprise! Joanna wins. Is this how the judges reward her for not making the finals? Ah, the dance ends with the couple’s signature move – only in reverse (not dirty talk, it was Joanna holding Derek).

Whitney returned to perform “I Want To Dance With Somebody.” Again, mostly talking the lyrics. FF.

Now, finally down to the business. The third place finishers: Kelly & Louis.

The winners of that ugly mirror ball trophy: Donny & Kym.

That’s it. See you in the Spring!

Ten weeks of competition have finally led up to the Season 9 finale! A new champion will be crowned “Dancing with the Stars” champion so who will win the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy? All 16 pairs have returned for the finale and Whitney Houston performs. Also it’s Jerry Rice vs. Michael Irvin for dance bragging rights. Who will win the battle of the NFL stars?

Whitney Houston kicked things off and performed her single “Million Dollar Bill”. The final three couples performed one last dance for their final judge’s score. Kelley and Louis danced first and performed the Viennese Waltz. Dmitry and Mya performed the Jive and Donny and Kym performed the Argentine Tango. The judges ranked the couples like so…3rd place: Kelly and Louis giving them 26 points, 2nd place: Mya and Dmitry giving them 28 points, and 1st place went to Donny and Kym which earned them 30 points.

In the battle of the NFL stars. Michael won the Mirror Ball ring, but Jerry won one too. Whitney Houston performed her 80’s hit “I Wanna Dance with Somebody”.

Back to the results…
In third place:

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel -- Image via ABC.com

It’s Mya vs. Donny Osmond.

…and the DWTS Season 9 Champion is:

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson -- Image via ABC.com

Watch all the performances from this week on ABC.com.

For more news, clips, and results from the show, visit the “Dancing with the Stars” category on this blog or just click here.

Mya is a perfect 1o on 'DWTS' with Dmitry

Mya has totally won over judge Len Goodman, who had been a consistent harsh critic of the pop and R and B star singer.

Tonight on the ‘Dancing With the Stars’ semifinals she danced away with his heart and mind as she scored an almost perfect 87 our of 90 points from the judges for the three dances she performed with her professional dance partner, Dmitry Chaplin, besting all of the other fabulous stars in this season’s competition, and they are all formidable, so she better not slack off or let it go to her head.

I would say that the model Joanna Krupa is in second place, Kelly Osbourne is in third place, and Donny Osmond is in fourth. This was also reflected in the judges scores for tonight’s performances.

Sexy Joanna Krupa will be on the cover on the December Playboy issue, which I will run to the store to get a copy to review. She has a compelling family background and biography which we got to see tonight.

Her sister is also a beautiful woman as well.That seems to run in the family.

It is amazing to see how humble Mya has been throughout the competition, and tonight we got a chance to get a glimpse of her mother and father, and to see a little about her background.It was an impressive story, and from a young age, Mya has been very focused with developing her talents.

She has put in a lot of hard work, and we are seeing the results of that work, by her performance in this competition.

Mya’s and Dimitry’s salsa was the standout dance of the evening.

There was a lot of precision of passion in her salsa performance, and it featured a very hot solo number that lit the stage on fire.It was the only memorable solo performance of the evening. I suggest watching this performance on-line if you missed it, Mya is built for this classic Latin dance.

Judge Len Goodman declared that he was disapointed….disapointed that it did not go on longer.

His next line will be the most memorable comment from a judge this season, topping even Bruno, which is hard to do.

Before giving the Salsa performance a 10, he told Mya …”Tutti Fruiti, oh what a Booty”,…and the ”I could not keep my eyes off of it”…

I don’t blame him, because he was expressing exactly what I was feeling. Mya is a smart and charming young lady,but ,just keeping it real…the girl is hot and it does not hurt to look.

I am looking at her the same way Len is, and I will keep on looking. I just won’t say it out loud.

Mya and Dimitry’s salsa netted a perfect score of 30 out of 30 points.

Hopefully, they will give us a repeat performance of the  dance on Tuesdays results show, it is truly worth repeating.

Make sure you tune in to the results show on Tuesday, as Alicia Keyes and Leona Lewis are scheduled to perform, so if you are like me, I am trying to see Mya, Alicia Keyes, and Leona Lewis all in the same evening.

Thank you ‘DWTS’ producers for another night of quality entertainment that truly speaks to me. Someone on your staff really understands my personal taste,and it is dead on accurate.

Call in and support team Mya…you know you love her like I do….

To vote for Mya, call: 1-800-868-3411

http://abc.go.com/shows/dancing-with-the-stars

Macy Gray – Coming back to you
I’ve been here before,
I’ll be back for more,
Maybe this time I can stay
forever more,
forever more…

Wonder what the future brings,
Fortune tellers and time machines
I predict what they’ll predict for me:
that I keep coming back to you,
(coming back to you),
I keep (coming back to you),
I keep (coming back to you),
hey, I’m (coming back to you).

One day they’ll get it right
I will live and I will die
A million times, as long as you are mine,
I keep coming back to you,
(coming back to you),
I keep (coming back to you),
I keep (coming back to you),
I keep (coming back to you).
http://www.free-lyrics.org

Go back and go ahead, over again I’ll meet you, baby
Tomorrow, yesterday’s impossible to leave you, baby
Any way and ev’ry day,
I’ll take you baby
They call it deja vu, but I’m, I’m just in love with you
(They call it deja vu, but I’m, I’m just in love with you.)
(They call it deja vu, but I’m, I’m just in love with you.)
(I’m just in love with you.)
(Forever more.)
(I’m just in love with you.)
Keep coming back to you.
(Been here before.)
Coming back to you.
(Back for more.)
Coming back to you.
(Maybe this time I can stay.)
Coming back to you.
(Coming back to you, coming back to you.)
(Coming back to you.)
Over and over again.
I’ve been here before.
I’ll be back for more.
Maybe this time I can stay.

A comment on one of my posts inspired my desire to shout this to the world today. Fly your freak flag baby!

How? Well, it’s your lucky day friends! I am going to direct you to a web post that will give you some ideas of how to fly your freak flag high and proud!

Here’s some musical inspiration to this end as well. Macy Gray “Sexual Revolution“:

“everybody shake it
time to be free amongst yourselves
your mama told you to be discreet
and keep your freak to yourself
but your mama lied to you all this time
she knows as well as you and I
you’ve got to express what is taboo in you
and share your freak with the rest of us
cause it’s a beautiful thang”

Oprah Winfrey  and director Tyler Perry arrive at the screening of ‘Precious: Based On The Novel ‘PUSH’ By Sapphire’ during AFI FEST 2009 held at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre on November 1, 2009 in Hollywood, California.

More pictures

related  2009 Soul Train Awards

See?

Team Mya

 

Mya Harrison, aka, Team Mya got a big boost this week by performing at a level that hard to please judge, Len Goodman could finally fully appreciate.

Mya and her partner Dmitry Chaplin put on a stunning performance of the Argentine tango, that was presented with sophisticated, classy choreography,coupled with  charismaticlly intriguing leg lift’s ,dramatic poses, and skillful timing.

Len told the pair that he…”does not know what I like until I see it”…and in this case he liked what he had just seen.

He awarded the pair with the highest score he has given them this season. They got a 9 from him for this performance.

What that means is that they are improving in his critical eyes, and that there is still some room for improvement.

Interestingly enough, Bruno and Carrie Ann lowered their score for team Mya down to a 9, from the past two weeks scores of 10, from the two judges.

My scores remained the same for team Mya,as they were in the past. I think she is definitely performing at the level of a 10, and they might need to add more numbers to that scale, so I can rate her even higher, if possible. But I am not a professional dancer, so it all impresses me.

What I see in the team Mya performances, is that the two seem to be developing a great artistic collaboration. It is a well known fact that Mya has a dance background, but that is in other forms of dance. Ballroom dancing is a very specific and technical form of dancing, and is very specialised.

 It appears that her developed sense of movement in general, and her obvious acting experience, has helped the pair with their artistic communication.

I am pretty sure Dmitry is a confident and exceptional choreographer by himself, but as all great artist will attest to, if you add in to the mix, another great artistic influence like Mya, then the end result will be stronger, more diverse, and will have many layers to the performance.

The passion for the performances can be felt just by witnessing the dance evolve before our eyes. I am always amazed by the fact that the show is live on the East coast,and given that, anything could happen, yet team Mya executes the choreography as if they were in a room by themselves.

That is the hallmark of a professional, and that is what I look for in entertainers.

I think it was fitting that in a night where a new young star is rising like Phoenix, that the producer of ”DWTS” would choose to present a wonderful tribute to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

The band and the dancers were awesome, and it was a pleasant surprise to see Michael’s mom Katherine in the audience, smiling, looking happy, and cheering on the performers honoring her late son.

I am sure the King of Pop is smiling at what he has influenced in all of the performers, and the dedication and persistence that Michael was all about, is definitely apparent in the efforts of Mya, on this season of ”Dancing With the Stars”.

Team Mya received the highest score of 27 for this weeks performance.I look forward to what they have in store for us next week, as they must learn two new intricate dances.

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b149913_thriller_of_jackson_tribute_then.html

I continue to be amazed by sultry singer Mya, and her transformation from a singer, into a versatile top dancer, model,vocalist, and, as she surprisingly exhibited in last night’s stunning and steamy hot performance of the ”Lambada”, she is also a talented choreographer to boot. Watch out Paula Abdul, Mya is in the building.

What can this woman not do!…I was like ”Whoa! when she appeared on stage with Dimitry, after having waited and watching the entire program last night, and getting the opportunity to view the spectacular talented competition that she is up against.

I am glad I did that, because I want to make an intelligent, non-emotional decision, as to who I support and vote for, on this season’s show. After all, I want to be fair. The future of entertainment is at stake.

With that, let me just say that the competition she is getting from the supermodel, Joanna Krupa and partner Derek Hough, who for the fourth straight week reminded all in the audience that he has the best job in the world, getting paid to practice, choreograph, and touch Joanna Krupa, as if he needed to remind us all.

We get it Derick, you like her, and so do we. After that steamy, slinky, sexy and hot ‘Lambada” performance you and your partner did, I almost wished that I were you, or could be you at that moment.

It definitely worked for me, as I see it did for you as well. Good job man, you never let us guys down.

If I were Mya, I might be a bit concerned about Kelly Osbourne. I see her as a definite top contender, because she is growing up, blossoming into a lady, right before our eyes. Too bad she has to be convinced that she is sexy and cute, because she is.

I like this version of Kelly Osbourne more than the tomboy, hardcore, mad Kelly. I mean, I always liked the show on M.T.V. with Ozzy, because Ozzy is Ozzy, but this dancing competition has allowed Kelly to show us what Kelly is about.No amount of nepotism can help her here, and she does not at all need it.

She is the one I hope blows up from this, as well as Mya.

Even with my positive observations with her competition, I have to ride for Mya! She is the one.

The best part of this series is the behind the scenes teasers that the producers put together. It showed Mya and Dimitry thinking and strategizing the effects of their chosen choreography on the judges, especially old stick in the mud Len. She was cute, but firm, about her thoughts on simplifying the dances, to please the judges, and Dimitry showed a little resistance.

In the end, their collaboration was hot, and effective, as the costumes, my gosh, the costumes, and make-up on Mya, and the glistening glow from her incredible legs was a vision only topped by my imagination.

Their combined scores for the lambda on week 4 was 28.

If you feel the same way for Mya, as I do, call in today and vote for her. If we all do, we can see this vision of talent and beauty, that is Mya, compete for another week on ”Dancing With The Stars”.

Like Whoa!!!

Here is a link to Mya’s ”My Love Is Like Whoa”, from her album from 2003-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8L0LrlgaQS8

…and some links to other ”Dancing With The Stars” week 4 articles-

http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00027934.html

http://www.examiner.com/x-24100-Cleveland-TV-Examiner~y2009m10d13-Dancing-With-The-Stars-tries-something-new

Maya Can Dance!

I have to admit that I have not paid much attention to ”Dancing With the Stars” since Laila Ali was competing on the show, until I found out that Macy Gray would be on it, this current season. Unfortunetly, Macy was voted off in the first elimination, and I was going to boycott the show, because I am a Macy Gray supporter, as much as possible. Macy has done a lot of great things for our mutual friends and associates, and she even hired one of my former students to work for her. I will be forever in her debt.

Now, I did not boycott the show, because I witnessed Mya perform some very entertaining, tremendous dance skills,and she still looks like Mya, except a more mature confident grown-up version that is working for me. Mya is a serious old school entertainer, in the tradition of Ann Margaret ,Shirley MacLaine, and the timeless Lola Falana. She is a skillful dancer and entertainer, and I have seen her tap dance skills in one of her videos.

Get this girl in a Broadway musical please!

Take it from me, the producers of ”Dancing…” have thought about the entertainment value of their show, and have made it a worthwhile sixty-minutes of my time, and I am with that.

Vote for Mya, and watch the show to confirm what I am recommending  here to you,is working for you.

Let me know your thought’s on Mya, and her performance in this competition.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33184029/ns/entertainment-reality_tv/

More Mya Please

I’m on Team Kelly! I think she was the biggest surprise all week! I’m hoping she can pull off more performances like she did on the first night. And I’m hoping the viewers see the potential in this rock princess! Fingers crossed as we find out which two couples get the boot.

The judges had Kelly and Louis perform their Viennese waltz. It was just as lovely as it was Tuesday.

We get to see the recap of the first two nights of performances. Here’s how the couples rank:

Ladies

1. Joanna & Derek – 34 points

2. Mya & Dmitry – 31 points

2. Kelly & Louis – 31 points

4. Natalie & Alec – 27 points

5. Melissa & Mark – 24 points

6. Debi & Maks – 22 points

7. Kathy & Tony – 20 points

8. Macy & Jonathan – 19 points

Men

1. Aaron & Karina – 32 points

2. Donny & Kym – 30 points

3. Mark & Lacey – 29 points

4. Louie & Chelsie – 27 points

5. Chuck & Anna – 22 points

6. Tom & Cheryl – 20 points

7. Ashley & Edyta – 19 points

7. Michael & Anna – 19 points

The first couples safe are: Louie & Chelsie and Aaron & Karina.

The show is letting people design for a special dance that will be performed on the finale. So far, viewers have chosen the paso doble. Go here to pick the song.

Sean Kingston performed “Face Drop” off his new album “Tomorrow.”

Next up, a silly taped piece called “The Losers Club.” It showed former contestants who, duh, did not win. Among them: Kenny Mayne, Jeffrey Ross and Penn Jillette.

The next couples safe are: Mark & Lacey, Chuck & Anna and Donny & Kym.

The last of the men to learn their fate: Tom & Cheryl and Michael & Anna advance. This sends Ashley & Edyta home. I called it! The robot will dance no more – well, at least not here.

A special treat for the kids – it’s the debut of the new Miley Cyrus video. I’ll let you guess if I watched this. If you want to watch “Party in the USA,” click here.

The first ladies to advance are: Natalie & Alec and Mya & Dmitry.

Another silly taped piece with Adam Carrolla giving the men a pep talk. I didn’t realize it had been four seasons since a man won the competition.

The cast of “The Lion King” performed “The Circle of Life.” Little plug for this awesome show: it’s coming to San Antonio!

The next three couples safe are: Melissa & Mark, Joanna & Derek and Debi & Maks.

The professionals did a tribute to the late Patrick Swayze. I’ll admit it. I cried. however, I’m hoping Cheryl was “acting” when she appeared nervous for the big lift at the end. Hopefully ABC will put this clip on its site (I know “The Lion King” performance is there).

The final elimination of the night: Kelly & Louis and Kathy & Tony are safe. Macy & Jonathan are going home. OOOH! I called that one, too!

Twitter notes: I didn’t catch any mention of it on the show, but Debi is a little banged up. You can follow some of your favorite dancers on Twitter.

Next week, the men and women compete against each other. I believe two more couples will be eliminated next week. Until then, happy dancing!

Results Night is here, and in keeping with last season’s trend, it is heaving with entertainment. That’s not to say I miss the thumb-twiddling and repetitive flashbacks of the Olden Days, but I cannot say this stuffed stocking approach should be the final evolution. Coherence is a problem; in one hour of primetime we got a little bit of dancing, two contestant eliminations, two comedy skits, a performance by a reggae-fusion artist, a Broadway spectacle, a music video, and a dance tribute to a dead movie star. I mean – does any natural order suggest itself from that? With nothing resembling a good transition available, we have no transitions at all; we’re just crashing through one art form after another without a seat belt.

I know most elimination shows are thirty seconds of import plus 41 minutes of jerkin’ time, but there must be a third way to do this, yes? ABC is launching practically their entire fall lineup off this show (many faces of new series are hogging the seats near cameras), so I guess it’s no wonder that parent company Disney, always the masters at cramming synergy into you without the kindness of lube, would start seeing this as a one-size-fits-all promotional juggernaut.

And Samantha has her hair back down. Pity.

Kelly and Louis perform the Judge’s Choice reprise, and prove her shocking debut performance was not a fluke. I had not highly rated the charisma of this year’s stable, but the show has (with their usual luck) blundered into something good here. She is a big reason I look forward to next week.

Then there’s that reggae-fusion performance, by Sean Kingston. He has a new album out, don’t you know, and I’ll give you 3-2 he was lip-synching, since the music did not seem to change whether the microphone was aimed at his mouth or his pelvis.

Then we have a comedy segment featuring first-week losers from past seasons, preparing to welcome the latest member to their fraternity. Jeffrey Ross looks like he intends to fight Kenny Mayne to be the show’s loveable misfit punchline. Penn Jillette is just there because he likes talking.

Ashley and Edyta get the first slice of the voters’ guillotine – not a surprise given his stiff limbs and lack of name recognition. Edyta does not look happy at another Week One elimination – after having to wrangle Jeffrey Ross, she must wonder whose toast she burned.

Next there’s a preview clip (what, no time for the entire three-minute song?) from Miley Cyrus’s new music video Party in the USA, which tries to launch truckbed chic as a new tween trend to scream over. When they come out with designer sweat-soaked tank-tops, I’ll believe it; but should parents really approve of a teen idol making a dirt lot look like a cool place to go meet people? The video is oversaturated flags’n’Fords iconography the target audience won’t recognize as iconography; and as for the content of the song, can you really sell yourself as that simple little girl with a big Hollywood dream when you are the son of a superstar and have spent half your life being molded for fame by one of the most powerful media empires on the globe? Obviously you can. Silly.

Then we have another comedy bit, a “pep talk” for the men by Adam Carolla which is mostly just weird. I like how he challenges Chuck Liddell to jump into the “rectagon” – in the 8 o’clock hour on ABC that counts as Making You Think. That a show this successful is willing to keep throwing different hybrid configurations of scripted stuff against the wall is kind of impressive – in Season Nine they are still willing to fail outlandishly.

The Macy’s Stars of Dance showcase is given over to the cast of the stage musical version of The Lion King, and they manage to wedge a lavish menagerie of half-puppet savanna critters into the ballroom for a cut-down version of Circle of Life. It’s still one of my all-time favorite songs in the Disney Animation canon, and while you lose more than a little majesty trying to re-stage it for a one-off performance on this dance floor for TV cameras, it probably helped remind many people what an amazing marriage of artistic techniques director Julie Taymor imagined in bringing the cartoon to Broadway.

Then we have a dance tribute to the late Patrick Swayze, who apparently lent the show a profile-boosting cameo back in the first season before I became a fan. I think Swayze must have been very well-liked within the business, and actually consider this is a very proper venue for a tribute, because I bet more than one of the pro dancers, as kids, fantasized about themselves in the climax of Dirty Dancing. Jonathan and Tony feature most prominently, and they do have that narrow-waist/broad-chest physique that could be called Swayze-like. The tribute does not manage to include anything from “To Wong Foo”, though on the flip side, they also skipped “Road House”.

And when Doom comes for the female half of the celebrity pool, it picks Macy. Again, not exactly a surprise: she was taking the show semi-seriously at best, and there are many in America still freshly shocked to see someone saying A Swear on their TV-box. It is sad that Jonathan will have so little time to class-up the joint, but this might have been the merciful thing. He looked to be suffering from this partnership.

Next week: Male and female casts combine, and I pray that the producers make DeLay dance to MC Hammer.

You see boxers who come in well over fighting weight – moving turgidly, sweating even in early rounds. The first night of Dancing With the Stars’s premiere felt alarmingly like that – even the opening group pro number had an air of premature fatigue. It felt like everyone was just hoping to reach the end on their feet.

But this was more like it. The debut of the female celebs showed them to be sexier, more talented, and significantly more alive than their male counterparts, and they helped give the show the energy on which it thrives. I can see at least three in this crop who could take on any of the men and get them served.

We open with the female pros doing a group number with peacock feathers and the music of Tom Jones; and I can add nothing to that to make it better than it is. Samantha’s hair looks good in a shorter 40’s-inspired sassy-girl-on-the-go do. And after a few outbreaks of spontaneity, Tom looks like he’s hosting on top of hot coals again, which is exactly where he needs to be.

DEBI MAZAR/MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY – Salsa – 16/30

Debi and Maks already have a nice old-fashioned rom-com patter going in the rehearsal room with her motor-mouth ADD running smack into his wearied “Stahp tawking!” Good things happen for Maks’s partners when they bring the feisty out of him. Typically, he’s got her feet well-drilled, and she brings a decent amount of that flirty attitude the judges want out of Salsa – the quick and challenging finish looks just a little beyond her but she handles it; there’s promise here. He’s matured enough as a partner through this show that he knows to not dance at Full Fierce, but keep it close to what she’s providing so she can keep the spotlight. The judges are nit-picking from the toes to the hips to the face, but it’s the kind of technical stuff that indicates they see potential.

MELISSA JOAN HART/MARK BALLAS – Viennese Waltz – 18/30

Melissa’s relationship with fans from two TV series, combined with her re-introduction as Mom-whose-body-has-made-two-babies, definitely gives her a chance of connecting with viewers. America has every reason to want to like her, and we have seen how the exercise benefits of the training regimen can activate physical transformations even a movie about a mousy girl taking off her glasses can’t trump. If she has the will and talent to hang around for a few weeks – especially with a repeat champion partner – she could pick up a wave of support. She is fortunate to draw the Waltz; although her shoulders keep riding up and she’s still heavy on her feet, she has enough fluidity to sell the routine, and unlike a lot of first-timers, looks more joyful than petrified.

MYA/DMITRY CHAPLIN – Viennese Waltz – 21/30

Mya admits up-front that she’s had more than a couple of years in tap shoes – it is doubtful it will quiet the conspiracy theorists who regularly flare up the show’s message boards with ringer accusations. She sells her appreciation of cuteness as a teaching asset better than Aaron did the night before – or maybe that’s a gender preference Rorschach test, right there. She’s presenting an eyes-forward, down-to-Earth demeanor; that’s a rare thing in this crowd and I like it. I like her quick and precise feet better. And I like her splendidly-feminine arms best of all. The dance is graceful – it’s also a hurled gauntlet. This girl could be a front-runner. Len’s complaints about the “American smooth” betrayal of the Waltz style finally wakes up the crowd. By the time he’s finished with his sour burping and starts waving the “5” paddle around, the audience is ready for 1776 all over again.

KATHY IRELAND/TONY DOVOLANI – Salsa – 16/30

Kelly Osbourne may be hoping for a second act as a grown-up, but it’s Kathy who has the best chance to show un-credited dimension and prove herself a not-as-dumb-as-you-thought blonde. Her billion-dollar business empire aside, this is quickly hobbled by Tony observing that she has trouble “counting to the music”. Her commitment shows in the routine, but it’s far more “not all bad” than “kinda good”. Her energy is low and she loses timing completely in the end, practically walking through the last moves. If you’re looking for something to build on (Carrie Ann tries with “posture”), you won’t find much.

NATALIE COUGHLIN/ALEC MAZO – Salsa – 19/30

Breath control, energy burst, leg muscles – an Olympic swimmer brings a lot of usable assets into a dancing competition. Natalie is a competitor and accustomed to coaching; expectations are high for her. Alec has earned her trust, which means she will bleed for him – he is not the type to ask for it, though, and I am not convinced he was the best partner for her. She looks smashing, moves with incredible smoothness and her power is palpable, but she’s dancing from her head – her concentration face reigns and her sense for the beat is worse than Marlee Matlin’s. Len has now graduated to blaming the female contestants for his autumnal impotence.

MACY GRAY/JONATHAN ROBERTS – Viennese Waltz – 15/30

On Monday night’s show I commented that Macy looked like she was inebriated or doing a pantomime tribute to Ray Charles. Now I can see from rehearsal that swaying and bobbing is just how she moves. She does not seem fully aware of what she has gotten herself into. Ever-grinning Jonathan looks as politely horrified as he can be, especially when she heads out for a European tour during the month the other contestants are getting their basics down. But her performance demonstrates from just what strange gardens star quality can grow – there’s no rise-and-fall, the content is thin, and the grace isn’t there, but she just keeps getting this big, bright smile on her face and the enormity of her presence is briefly all you can notice. Remarkable as that is, it won’t be enough to get her far here. Carrie Ann coins a new redundancy in the language by praising Macy’s “natural genuineness”. A portion of her interview with Samantha is mysteriously silenced, but careful DVR lip-reading reveals that she apparently “plucking kissed her elf out there”; which must be Waltz lingo. Even Samantha is too stunned to make the situation worse.

JOANNA KRUPA/DEREK HOUGH – Salsa – 24/30

Derek is back in his superhero persona Kid Flirt again, and goes to meet Joanna dressed like David Copperfield circa-1987. This is essentially the first time America has been made aware that Joanna Krupa has a personality and feelings; without straying out of her giddy pretty girl habitat, she’s saying the right things about working hard and loving the show, and looks to have more innate muscle and coordination than some of the other models who have sought ballroom glory. She wins the hips trophy for the night hands down; or maybe she’s just very good at whipping pants ruffles around. Her biggest weakness right now is balance, or maybe confidence in her sense of balance, she is inconsistent with how she risks and extends her body. But there is more than a little natural dancer in her – if America likes getting to know her beyond a Maxim cover, she could go far. Len wants us to know he has his erection back.

KELLY OSBOURNE/LOUIS VAN AMSTEL – Viennese Waltz – 23/30

We have had to accept Louis making only fleeting and unannounced appearances in group pro numbers on results nights – he passed into legend like Bigfoot or a Truck Stop Elvis. But they’ve had to clear the bench of pros for this season, so the original Mr. Snaky Arms returns and I am glad. The intro segment can’t resist roping in the family that kicked off the whole trend of fly-on-the-wall celebrity trainwreck domestic sitcoms; Kelly needs the reminder of where she came from to sell her strategy of growing into a dance princess. Let it not be said she does not understand reality TV story arcs, but she actually has to earn this one. And for a first week, she makes a fabulous start, delivering a waltz that’s poised and full of character. Not many dances this week have shown anything like a proper emotion, but this one did; Louis’s choreography got a lot of value from simple moves. Mom and Dad are in the front row, and look genuinely moved and proud. They ought to be.

RELAY DANCE – Foxtrot

Tom DeLay has a weird sneer on his face in the background as Bergeron (or should I call them “Host Tom” and “Hammer Tom”?) explains the relay concept. I wonder if his face melts after 99 minutes in the light, like Darkman. Natalie’s strong frame and smile-less kisser give her a cool, classic glamour well-accented by her dress and makeup; her fluidity is memorable and she nails her marks when compared with her Salsa. Ballroom style might just be her kung-fu. Kathy brings statuesque grace but a distinctly lower energy level that suffers in Natalie’s wake. Derek packs an astonishing amount of sweep, variety of pace, and personality into Joana’s 30 seconds, and she proves equal to it – they are clicking as a team. Debi comes out jittery but her force of personality takes over by the end. All of these ladies looked damn good in deep blue.

1st place, 10 points – JOANNA/DEREK (total 34/40)
2nd place, 8 points – NATALIE/ALEC (total 27/40)
3rd place, 6 points – DEBI/MAKSIM (total 22/40)
4th place, 4 points – KATHY/TONY (total 20/40)

RELAY DANCE – Cha-cha-cha

When I say that Macy cha-cha’s like a drag queen, I don’t mean to give offense and I don’t think she’d take it. Again, sass has a way of trumping flat-footed substance. Melissa and Mark aren’t clicking as a couple – his bad habit of going off the reservation when he’s insecure makes a brief appearance before she drags him back into his proper role. She’s solid but does not yet have the energy she could have. Mya nails her leg of things with precision and flirtatious attitude; if this is a sign of things to come in Latin rounds she will be formidable. It’s tough to follow, and Kelly loses her way once or twice, but her vivacity and go-for-broke-edness hoist up her talent and continue to crush expectations.

1st place, 10 points – MYA/DMITRY (total 31/40)
2nd place, 8 points – KELLY/LOUIS (total 31/40)
3rd place, 6 points – MELISSA/MARK (total 24/40)
4th place, 4 points – MACY/JONATHAN (total 19/40)

Next Up: Week One’s Results Show

Wanna Dance?

She tried to do a spin, but she choked, tried to do the Waltz and she stum-bled….Macy Gray was recently eliminated from Season 9 of ABC’s hit show “Dancing with the Stars.” Although Macy Gray has achieved great success as a recording artist, she could not make it past the 1^st round of elimination in the dancing competition. Being twice the size of her partner Jonathan Roberts, they were unable to do the Viennese Waltz.

I got to give it to the casting director for taking a chance on Macy Gray. Although they had her looking like Buck Wheats older cousin, Macy was a really good sport about her experience. “It’s been cool. I learned a little bit about dancing. Ballroom isn’t my calling,” Macy Gray said.

I am actually glad she got eliminated so early. Who wanted to see her in a Salsa outfit?

At the end of the day, you cannot feel bad for her; She is a talented artist, she has millions of dollars and she has had tremendous success in television playing Wanda Jenkins on the hit comedy sketch show In Living Color.

This is hilarious, but I give Macy credit for stepping out of her zone. Too bad she didn’t make the cut, yet now she can go back to touring and smoking that cheeba.

Season 9 of “Dancing with the Stars” has arrived. The men performed on night one and on night two, the ladies performed. I think there were pleasant surprises, but all in all every contestant showed some potential to grow. Nevertheless, one man and one woman have been eliminated from the competition and they are…

Ashley Hamilton and Macy Gray

In my opinion, I see three front-runners for the men and three front-runners for the women. I also have a dark horse choice on both sides. Let’s start with the men.

In no particular order, here are my choices for male front-runners:
1. Donny Osmond
2. Aaron Carter
3. Mark Dacascos

I was pleasantly surprised by Donny Osmond. I wasn’t sure how well he was going to do in this competition, but he really showed a lot of potential and he was quite the showman. Aaron Carter is another one who showed potential, but he didn’t seem like he was quite at ease and I think that showed in his face. Mark Dacascos also has a lot of potential and I think he showed a lot of personality in his video segments and with fan-favorite Lacey Schwimmer as a partner, I think they’ll be around for awhile. In terms of a dark horse on the men’s side, I think we can’t count out Louie Vito quite yet. Louie’s partner is Chelsie Hightower. Last season Hightower was paired with Ty Murray who placed 4th in the competition, and the growth that Murray showed as a dancer was amazing.

In no particular order, here are my choices for female front-runners:
1. Joanna Krupa
2. Mya
3. Kelly Osbourne

Joanna Krupa is paired with Season 7’s DWTS Champ Derek Hough. In her two dances, she really showed a good balance of technique and performance. Mya is probably my favorite of this season thus far. Mya is paired with Dmitry Chaplin and even though Len Goodman reamed out Dmitry (for his choreography) – Dmitry received a 2009 Emmy nomination for Outstanding Choreography. Kelly Osbourne was the biggest surprise of the ladies. Who knew she could be so graceful on the dance floor? My dark horse pick would be Natalie Coughlin. Judge Carrie-Ann Inaba called Coughlin “a diamond in the rough”. In the past, every Olympian that made the [DWTS] finals has won, so can the streak continue? I would also keep an eye out for Melissa Joan Hart. With reigning DWTS champ Mark Ballas as her partner, she definitely has the potential to improve.

Missed the performances or you want to watch them again? Visit ABC.com to watch the performances from the 3-night premiere.

It’s going to be tough for the ladies to top the pelvic thrust that shook Washington – and the rest of the world. I can’t wait to see what they have in store! Get the recap after the jump.

Like the first night, the professionals started the show with a dance – this time, just the ladies. Then, it’s on to the competition. Full disclosure: I am forwarding through a lot of the post dance reaction from the couples because I cannot take Samantha Harris saying “Of course” at least three times per couple. So, if they drop expletives or get cheeky, you’ll have to let me know in the comments section.

Couple: Debi & Maks

Dance: Salsa

I have to say, I love Debi’s work. I’m really hoping she can pull this off! OK. It doesn’t matter if she can dance. Maks isn’t wearing a shirt. Debi’s dress started molting during her spins. She did lose her footing for a step or two. She seemed to be having fun (part of the challenge for a lot of these stars). Maks did not make this an easy dance. I think she did a fine job!

Len said Debi wasn’t hippy or leggy. But he said it was full of energy and Debi is full of potential. Bruno said Debi can work her bosom like nobody else. But he said she needs to keep her weight on the front of the foot. Carrie Ann said it’s tougher on the girls since they’re compared more to the professionals. She expected more sass from Debi, but said it was a nice start.

SCORE: 16

Couple: Melissa & Mark

Dance: Viennese Waltz

I’m wondering if Melissa has any of her magic left from her “Teenage Witch” days? I watched her feet and didn’t notice any stumbling. She looked very graceful as she spun around the stage. Also, that white dress made her look like a princess. That said, there was something a bit off.

Bruno picked up on Melissa’s nerves. He says the dance was prim, proper, adequate but lacked magic. He thinks because of her nerves, she didn’t perform the way he had hoped. Carrie Ann said Melissa created a few moments, but she lacked a connection to the beat of the music. Len didn’t like the start – he called it “sweet and sickly.” He thought she kept her hold. He liked the movement. He said there was poor footwork, but it was otherwise OK. Huh?

SCORE: 18

Couple: Mya & Dmitry

Dance: Viennese Waltz

Mya’s having a princess moment. Dmitry seems to have lost most of the buttons on his sheer shirt. I’m wondering what the budget is on this show for waxing and spray tanning? OK. I’m focusing on Mya’s dancing. The girl is reallyy good! It looked like she’s been a ballroom dancer before (though she said she has only trained in tap). Wow. I’m impressed!

Carrie Ann said “Way to set the bar tonight!” She said Mya’s moves were gorgeous. Len said he’s in a predicament because he knows it’s the American smooth version of the dance, but he said they only had three bars in hold and he didn’t like those. He said it was not a Viennese waltz. He said it was a theatrical hodgepodge. The crowd and Bruno interrupted him. Bruno said it was artistry in motion. He said Mya was magnificent. He said DWTS takes off with Mya. Len was flustered. He said the audience can judge when they get home. He called Mya a fantastic dancer and said Dmitry let her down by not doing a proper waltz. Tom asked Len if he had been to three bars tonight. Giggles and the couple goes backstage to get their score.

SCORE: 21

Couple: Kathy & Tony

Dance: Salsa

Kathy said people assume she’s coordinated because she used to model. She quickly showed that’s not true. I’m so happy to learn models don’t have it all! From the first second I saw her on the stage, she looked like a dancer. Then, the music started. Uh oh. Trying. To. Be. Nice. Ohhhhkaaaaaaaaaaaay. This was a little Chuck-like: stiff and robotic. It was almost like she was blocking the dance and not really going through the full movements. Did not like this.

Len said Kathy has the potential to do better, but it lacked energy and was far too careful. Bruno said Kathy can sell almost anything, but she couldn’t sell the salsa. He said salsa is sex and with no sex it doesn’t work. Carrie Ann said Kathy has great posture, but in the salsa she  needs to let go. Her hips weren’t moving much. She needs to work on loosening up.

SCORE: 16

Couple: Natalie & Alec

Dance: Salsa

Hoping Natalie doesn’t look like a fish out of water (that’s right – you just got a free swimming pun). Natalie’s little dress helped her look the part. It showed off her swimmer muscles. But this felt slow. I noticed a lot of stopping. She also seemed to be concentrating so hard she forgot to smile at times. It was better than Kathy’s dance.

Bruno called Natalie the million dollar mermaid. He said she had some fantastic shapes and great positions. But she froze at some positions and needs to keep going. Carrie Ann said it’s going to be exciting to see her progress. She loved the dance. She said Natalie needs to work on her musicality. Len was bewildered. He said he thinks it’s time for his bath. He said he can’t understand how the gorgeous girls aren’t knocking his socks off with the salsas tonight. I believe he called for more sexiness. Not at all creepy.

SCORE: 19

Couple: Macy & Jonathan

Dance: Viennese Waltz

Jonathan told Macy as long as she has rhythm, that’s all that matters. Um, no. Has he not seen this show? I am expecting this to be awkward. Perhaps Macy needs to summon the lyrics to her hit “I Try” before she hits the stage. This seemed childlike. Macy’s arms were just flailing about. She seemed to stop in between steps. At one point, I wondered if she just wanted to quit? Jonathan, if you’re reading this, please note that I said rhythm is not all that matters.

Carrie Ann said it was fascinating. She said there is something fascinating to watch about Macy, but she couldn’t “even go there” when talking about Macy’s technique. Len said there’s a vulnerability about Macy. He said if he was at home, he’d be voting for Macy. What the huh? Bruno said Macy was endearing. He said it was like watching a child taking his first steps into a scary new world. Please send help. I’m totally understanding Bruno. He said they need to start working on the technique.

SCORE: 15

Couple: Joanna & Derek

Dance: Salsa

Holy boobs! This swimsuit model is, um, wearing this outfit! I’m sorry to report she’s the first star to wear those silly fringed pants. Even a model can’t pull those off! Side note: what is the deal with the Jacksons? Last night, Jermaine was in the audience, tonight it’s LaToya. If this dance isn’t hippy enough for the judges, I don’t know what is.This was not an easy dance and Joanna did a fine job. There should be enough sexiness to make Len happy.

Len said he’s happy because at last “we’ve seen a hot, smoking salsa.” Bruno said it was sexy and seductive, what a salsa should be. He complimented Derek’s choreography. Carrie Ann said it was hot. She said Joanna has confidence that is going to take her all the way.

SCORE: 24

Couple: Kelly & Louis

Dance: Viennese Waltz

OK. Loved seeing Ozzy shout, “Sharon!” when Louis showed up to meet Kelly. I think she’s just adorable. She is a girl after my own heart: she hates sweating and is terrified of getting out on the dance floor. I’m setting the bar low and hoping for the best. She looked like a sweet punk lady. Oh my gosh! I am tearing up. She looks like a dancer! The song (Ray LaMontagne’s “Trouble”) was perfect for Kelly and this dance. This might be my favorite performance of the night!

Sharon was crying. Kelly ran over and hugged Ozzy and kissed Sharon on the cheek. Bruno said he cannot believe his eyes. “The wild child rock princess transformed into a vision of grace, elegance in a world of impeccable style.” Carrie Ann said her parents should be proud. She said the dance gave her chills. She said Louis’ technique was great. She did take off points for Kelly taking her feet off the ground. Len said it was the best Viennese waltz of the night.

SCORE: 23

Now, it’s on to the relay dances. The two groups of four take on their second dance of the night.

Fox Trot Relay

Natalie & Alec: Elegant. I would have liked to see Natalie smile more.

Kathy & Tony: Kathy seemed a little more at ease. She was still pretty stiff. She also lost her footing at the end.

Joanna & Derek: Once I got past Joanna’s huge hair, I noticed she did a nice job.

Debi & Maks: I’m glad Debi looks like she’s having fun. She didn’t seem to do much fox trotting here.

Carrie Ann said Debi did a lift but she couldn’t take off points. She said Joanna was sexy and hot. She thought Kathy looked like she was going to the Oscars, but her footwork was tight. She said Natalie did great. Len said Natalie had lovely extension and danced well. He said Kathy needs to move more but looked elegant. He said Joann had a good mix of hold and apart. He said Maks was brave to do a lot of the dance in hold. Bruno said Natalie was more at ease. He said Kathy was elegant. He said Joanna was still smoking. He said Debi is a great performer and needs to control her energy. Here are the rankings:

1. Joanna & Derek – 1o points
2. Natalie & Alec – 8 points
3. Debi & Maks – 6 points
4. Kathy & Tony – 4 points

Cha Cha Cha Relay

Macy & Jonathan: This seemed like Macy had no energy.

Melissa & Derek: Melissa stepped it up here.

Mya & Dmitry: Wow! She was good! That was a great use of 30 seconds!

Kelly & Louis: Kelly can say she’s not a dancer all she wants, but she did a great job here!

Len said Macy’s schedule has caught up with her. He said Melissa had a much higher level of performance. He said Mya had great hips and the dance had more content. He said Kelly produced two first class dances. Bruno said Macy had better timing. He said Melissa was having fun. He said Mya’s footwork was hitting it. He said he can’t believe what he’s seeing from Kelly – she can shake it. Carrie Ann said Macy has to work harder on capturing the essence of the styling of the cha cha. She said Melissa came out of her shell. She said Mya was excellent. She loved Kelly’s leg work. Here are the rankings:

1. Mya & Dmitry – 10 points
2. Kelly & Louis – 8 points
3. Melissa & Derek – 6 points
4. Macy & Jonathan – 4 points

Wednesday, two couples will go home (I’m betting on Chuck or Ashley and Macy). Sean Kingston will perform. You can also catch the debut of the new Miley Cyrus video. Also, there will be a tribute to Patrick Swayze and the Macy’s Stars of Dance will return. Until then, you can check out video and more on the DWTS site. I’m not sure why ABC doesn’t want you to know what songs are used during the performances, but this is the best they’re offering as far as that information goes. I’ll pay more attention from here on out, since I know that’s what some of you really want to know about this show!

Good news. My new teeth are in. And they are in my mouth as of about 12:15 yesterday afternoon. However, they’re not cemented in, not yet. Dr. Bob wants them to achieve the perfect fit and bite by my working them into place by eating as close to normally as I can (still without chomping into super tough foods–a ham sandwich is fine) and biting down occasionally on the chew toy he gave me, a piece of hard rubber tubing. I actually ate an egg sandwich when I got home yesterday without having to cut it into bite-size pieces and it felt great to be able to do that. With any luck, providing they can get as high up into the gums as they need to be, tomorrow will be cement day!

You would think that would be reason enough to celebrate with a drink from the Bull Ball Bag Bottle. We got a mail-order catalog yesterday and in it, for a mere $49.95, was a decanter wrapped in real bull scrotum, trimmed in simulated leather. Simulated? Too bad, and I was this close… I’ll have to drink straight from the box, I guess.

No, honestly, to celebrate, I’d rather shower under the Moen Digital showerhead, the one I can program with just a touch of button, kind of like standing there and turning a knob (if I felt like being archaic) but easier–no need to exert all that energy with that pesky twist of the wrist. I love how, in the video, this guy is standing in front of the shower, remote in hand, at arm’s length away from the control pad, which can be pre-programmed for up to four users, increasing the water temperature. The biggest selling point of all is that you can set the shower from a remote location, like from your bed, so all you have to do is walk into the shower. Why hasn’t someone come up with a digital way of walking yet? That’s too much energy first thing in the morning. And if I know me, I’d probably fall back asleep, pretty much the way I’ve been doing and not getting out for my daily 4-mile walks ever since I mentioned it here a few weeks ago when I was so proud of our three day in a row stint, and with the sluggishness of my shower drain, I’d be flooded out in no time. But if I could also remote control someone to scrub my back for me, then maybe it would be worth it. Get on that, Moen!

I hope this blog gets past the censors at my niece’s job. Something I said on the old page I used to have (which can be accessed above under the “older posts” tab under PAGES) in reference to Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction, got filtered due to inappropriate content and I’m wondering if my decanter reference will make it through. It’s just a jumble of words really. I told her to give the new page a shot last night when she called to remind us Macy Gray was on “Dancing With The Stars” and we were getting to it on the DVR, the Tivo-lite.  And wasn’t La Gray just a train wreck in the making? And what was she on? And surprise of the night was Kelly Osborne. I had a feeling she’d be the upset and from what she showed last night, she has the potential to go very far in the competition.

And lastly for today, a Springfield, Mass mail processing worker pleaded guilty to a charge of stealing over 3,000 Netflix DVD’s at a value of about $36,471 his plea carries a maximum of 5 years in prison. And I thought I had problems with half my mail arriving all mangled and sometimes half open. But at least all my Netflix returns make it back to the processing center as evidenced by the confirmation emails.

Tonight we are get to see the Female Stars do their thing.  Last night the Male Stars rocked the Dance Floor and tonight the girls will get their chance to make an impression!  Like the guys, the gals will dance a Latin and a viennese.

Debi Mazar is an actress on Entourage.  She is dancing the Salsa with her partner Maks.  Maks said that Debi is a perfect partner, but she doesn’t have any attention span.  OMG, she totally has Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. For the first week, I thought that this girl jammed.  She was shimmying and all the way into it. It wasn’t perfect  She hit some tough spots, but overall, a very strong performance with very challenging moves for the week.  Maybe a little too challenging.  She’s counting and it is obvious, but so what?    Len thought that the dance was full of energy, but he thinks that there  is alot of work to do.  Bruno loves that she can work her boobs, but she has loses her timing alot.  Carrie Ann thinks she has alot of guts, but she was thinking too much and it showed! (I agree).  Carrie Ann- 6, Len-5, Bruno-5= 16   This is an outrage!  They freely gave high scores last night to some performers who didn’t take on the degree of dance that Debi did.  Oh well….next dance right?

Melissa Joan Hart is an Actress best known as ‘Sabrina the Teenaged Witch’ is up next.  Mark Ballas is her partner (cute- he’s a fan of the Teenage witch).  They are dancing the Viennese Waltz.  I thought they danced a beautiful dance that was surprisingly graceful especially for the first dance.  Bruno thought it was prim and proper, but it failed to ignite (whatever) and that there is work to do!  Carrie Ann thought that she created memorable moments, but she didn’t have any connection to the dance.  Len hated the beginning (naturally), but her hold was good and she had great movement.  He didn’t love her footwork.  Carrie Ann-6, Len-6, Bruno-6= 18

Mya is a R&B Award winning Singer.  Her Partner is Dmitry.  Mya and DMitry seem to have a little chemistry going on, they seem to have smiled at each other for 5 minutes for their first meeting.  Inspite of her dance roots, she struggled in the practice.  They danced the Viennese Waltz.  Mya is doing something that none of the other ladies have managed yet, she is smiling while she performs.  And her and Dmitry’s performance is flowing.  Fantabulous!  I knew she would do well.  She was in ‘Chicago’ for God’s sake.  Carrie Ann thought that she set the bar with this beautiful dance.  Len still found something to criticize as he rambled on about something about bars and such.  He criticized Dmitry’s choreography and said that it wasn’t a proper Viennese Waltz.  Bruno passionately interrupted and chastized Len for his unfair words.  Len came back with one last sting at Dmitry as he let him know that he let Mya down.  Mya was graceful and took the Beyonce road to show what a lady she is.  Carrie Ann- 8, Len-5, bruno-8=21.  Len is such a hater sometimes.

Kathy Ireland former Model and Entrepreneur.  Kathy came out and tried to make all the women in the world hate  her as she let us know that she decided to go on DWTS, because after her kids she has really let herself ‘go’.   I guess I will go put my head in the oven.  Tony is  her partner.  Uh oh….Kathy doesn’t have much rhythm….Awkward.  They danced the salsa.  Tony is a great teacher, because even though she was a little stiff, she moved and did the steps, so it’s all gravy.  She out danced some of her male competition as far as I am concerned.  but they are going to get her for not being able to move those hips!  Len thinks she has potential, but he thought that this dance had no energy.  Bruno said that she didn’t sell the salsa and this dance had no sex as the salsa requires.  Carrie Ann thought she needs to let go and learn to loosen up.  They like the women loose!  Carrie ann-6, len-5, bruno-5= 16

Kathy Coughlin is an Olympic Swimmer.  Her Partner is Alec,  They danced the Salsa.  She really struggled with the hip action.  She was really trying though and I think that if she makes it through, she will really improve.  This one was really just okay.  Bruno thinks that she could make it here one day.  She has everything it takes, but she freezes at times and you can’t play freeze tag when you dance.  Carrie Ann thought her performance was fun, but she needs to keep the musicality.  Len doesn’t understand why these girls  aren’t knocking his socks off with this sexy dance (his way of saying they aren’t bringing it).  Carrie Ann-7, Len- 6, Bruno- 6

 Macy Gray is a Grammy Winner.  Her partner is Jonathon.   Oh, I forgot that she doesn’t comb her hair and she has that Donald Duck voice thing going on.  They danced the Viennese Waltz.  Macy was straight comic relief in rehearsal.  Their practice time was limited and Jonathon had to accompany her on her tour……Macy still tours?  She combed her hair for her actual performance….sort of.  This was a good effort, but the Judges are going to tear her up, her mouth is open the entire time and she is very dramatic.  Her dance is the kind of stuff to send Len and Bruno into panic mode.  But hey, I’m just proud of her for doing a dress and semi heels and not falling.   Carrie Ann was a little speechless. he thought she was fascinating and she is so natural and pure in a bizarre way.  Len agreed she does have a charm. (surprise)  Bruno agreed she is endearing, but thought she looked like a lost child.  She needs to work on technique.  Carrie Ann-6, Len-4, Bruno-5= 15

Joanna Krupa is a swimsuit model.  Her partner is Derek.   Hmmm…they are a little flirty.  Derek may be looking for a new roomate since hims and Shannon Elizabeth broke up.  I thought that Joanna had pretty good movement.  She definitely can move her hips,…go girl!  But even so this dance was uninspirational for me, I think it was the song!  Good Music Choice  is half the battle….  And she had on those very cute yellow pants.  Len is happy, because he finally got to see a hot smoking salsa!  Bruno loved it and thought it was very Sexy!  Carrie Ann thought it was hot as well.  Carrie Ann- 8, Len-8, Bruno-8=24.  I just didn’t see all that in that performance. 

Side note: Last night Jermaine Jackson was in the house and now Latoya and her Man are in the Audience…I know one of Michael Jackson’s sibs are going to be on next season.

Reality Star Kelly Osbourne.  Louis Van Amstel is her partner.  Kelly really had a challenging time in rehearsal.  I really hope that she does well.  I would love to see her evolve and get stronger.  She looks great.  They danced the Viennese Waltz.  I don’t know if she was putting  extra on her missteps in rehearsal, because  tonight she was wonderful!  She was Awesome and it was so unexpected.  Elegant  Awww…Ozzy and Sharon are there and they are completely overwhelmed.  She got a  Standing O.  Marie Osmond is clapping because she is hoping that she will beat Donny, so she can be the reigning Osmond.  Bruno cannot believe her grace and elegance.  Carrie Ann loved the technize and her hold, but she lifted her foot (she is like the Foot Police).  Len thought it was the best Viennese Waltz of the night (Ozzie is up out of his seat clapping for his girl now).  Carrie Ann-7, Len- 8, Bruno- 8= 23

The relay dances!  The two dances that the girls will perform the Foxtrot and the

Natalie, Joanna, Debi and Kathy are dancing the Foxtrot.  Natalie starts the dance off, she does well, but she needs to find her smile.  Good movement, but she is really concentrating that it is obvious that she has to enjoy herself.  Kathy did a pleasing dance, but she is stiff.  Joanna had great steps and form.  Debi looked like she had more fun this time.  Overall, the Judges really seemed to enjoy all of the performances.  They would like to see Kathy loosen up and Debi calm it down.  They were pleased with Joanna and Natalie.

Scores:  kathy-4, Debi-6, Natalie-8, Joanna-10.  Joanna is modest as she blushed and gushed out that she wasn’t expecting it while Derek looked like oh yeah, it’s me…that’s how  I rock!

2nd half of the Relay: Kelly, Mya, Macy and Melissa danced the Cha, Cha, Cha.  I’m putting money on Macy to get more people talking, but earning the lowest score!  Macy Gray with her hair combed again.  This woman can not close her mouth, I don’t know why the Judges are ignoring it.  Melissa did really well initially, but it got a little lost in the middle.  Maya did really well, but it was Kelly that surprised me again.   She missed a couple of steps, but wow!  I would have never thought she could excel in the competition so early.  The Judges believe that Macy’s schedule seemed to really hamper her practice time, but she really need to buckle down.  Melissa really improved since the last dance.  They absolutely loved Mya and Kelly.  

Scores: Macy-4, Melissa- 6, Kelly-8, Mya-10

I’m thinking that the weak link tonight will be Kathy or Macy!  Or it could be Debi, I don’t think she has the fanbase yet that the other girls do.