~ins & outs~

~the ins are in~
~the outs are out~
~a loud car roars by~
~sets off alarms~
~in the bodies of its contemporaries~
~a siren far off~
~cops~
~people explode from houses~
~cursing the loud car~
~too fast & long gone~
~they click-click with one hand~
~to quiet their shrieking honking beasts~
~shove the other in the air~
~stiff middle fingering~
~emptiness~
~nothing more or less~

~the ins are bragging~
~followers following~
~hangers-on hanging~
~the outs are complaining~
~accusing fingers pointing~
~howling for the blood of the ins~
~an airplane chugging across the sky~
~competes with the chop-chop~
~of a police helicopter~
~noises~
~distractions~
~you don’t notice they’re gone~
~until the lesser dins of dogs barking~
~neighbors’ doors slamming~
~children wailing~
~a boom-box car bouncing by~
~the thump-thump of your blood~
~edgy & ill-found in this new rome~
~gifted in the sense that your ground~
~is not on the list of targets~
~too damned close to home~
~big brother come kill your dogs~
~you too if you put up a fight~
~there’s a metal tag number-stamped~
~on your jacket~
~in your file~
~closer to you than the bubblegum in your pocket~

~the ins have agendas~
~power breakfasts~
~carefully planned spontaneous appearances
~the outs have upsets planned~
~pro-choice & gay doings~
~hell-bent for election~
~tricky forthright promises~
~you can have whatever ya want~
~these dogs have set up a riot~
~yipping & yapping~
~snarling & growling~
~at each other~
~with each other~
~suffering a stentorian auditory assault~
~above & beyond my range of hearing~
~driving them mad one by one~
~joining them in tumultuous behavior~
~they are united~
~divided & determined~

~the ins are sorting themselves out~
~obliterating bad cards from the deck~
~seeking fresh alliances~
~the outs are ever recruiting~
~celebrating previously lost causes~
~born again resurrected~
~recreating~
~whatever happens in vegas stays in vegas~
~changing their ties~
~that chug-chug airplane~
~is towing a banner~
~a paid advertisement over the tops of the trees~
~through the hazy lazy skies~
~this first day of autumn~
~vote for/don’t vote for~
~I tell the dogs to shut the fuck up~
~bedeviled when they obey~
~it ain’t me~
~the annoying wasp with the fluttering tail has drifted past~
~facebook “friends” are drawing lines~
~in the electronic internet sand~
~beaches of the social media ocean~
~threatening to “unfriend” & “report”~
~those who don’t support their causes~
~& have the audacity to “post” an opposing opinion~
~related to politics religion~
~gender bias cheerios whatever~
~a baying mad dog~
~I am fascinated by the idea~
~of being communicated to death~
~postured out of ones mind~
~by these nipping hoardes~
~locusts hitch-hiking the trade-winds~
~listen to me grasshopper~
~election year in the USA~
~the ins are in~
~the outs are out~
~so it will be~
~when all is said & done~

~a wounded thing~
~I have been~
~driven to ground~
~amidst raucous noise~
~a keening pandemonium no one else seems to hear~
~each talking mouth in the crowd is unique~
~in its mad rush to be the same~
~the hell they are~

~post note~

~more than six decades of living behind us~
~my brother stopped by recently~
~requested that I stand second for him~
~in the when & if of his predisposition~
~to commit suicide~
~over a woman~
~over a lifetime of women~
~having analyzed the synthetic progress~
~of my fellowmen & women~
~ins & outs all my life~
~I understood I could not be my brother’s keeper~
~agreed to be his slayer~

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R

101 Min

2011

Action | Crime | Thriller

Plot: A SWAT team becomes trapped in a tenement run by a ruthless mobster and his army of killers and thugs.

Director: Gareth Evans

Stars: Iko Uwais | Ananda George | Ray Sahetapy

Buy or Rent The Raid: Redemption (Unrated)

Movie Summary:

A SWAT team is led into an apartment building to capture a notorious crime lord. Six floors into the raid, they are given away by a tenant. The crime lord who was silently monitoring, set out a bounty on their heads, giving any tenant that catches and kills the officers permanent residence.

One by one the officers are killed until about four of them are left. One of the crime lord’s body guards was the brother to one of the officers and set about finding him. They eventually meet up and have a small talk before going their separate ways.

When the two body guards return; the police officer’s brother is confronted as his boss saw him pull his brother into the room and the other guard is placed in a room to kill him. His brother hears a noise and goes to check it out and finds his brother and then gets into a fight with the second body-guard.

The two manage to kill him and set out to find the others and leave the building. The lieutenant that brought them there finds the crime lord and arrests him before killing a fellow officer and also the crime lord.

The brothers follow each other to the gate, the lieutenant is arrested and the officers walk out of the building but his brother chose to stay in the building.

Review:

This is a purely action movie, has a bit of graphic killings so not for the squeamish. This movie barely has a plot it is basically 101 minutes of killing. Movie is not in English so subtitles are needed

Thankfully, they are still showing the movie in some cinemas. And thank God my new friend and her husband have been extremely nice, picking me up from the hotel and taking me to the cinema at the Mall of Asia.

However, having watched the movie in Jakarta 3 times, when I saw it again yesterday, I was utterly disappointed.Some of the best parts of the movie have been cut off/censored severely. “SPOILER ALERT” There’s no first shocking scene when Tama, the druglord shots 4 prisoners in the head, no scene of Sgt. Jaka shooting people in the head 3 times, or when Jaka cut people’s neck/shoulder with an axe. Worst of all, they cut off totally the first big set piece of fight choreography when Rama fights hordes of attackers with baton and knife/machete.

Tension level is reduced significantly when they censored the part when Mad Dog takes his time, killing the helpless and bruised Jaka by slowly breaking Jaka’s neck. I remember when I was watching it in Jakarta, the female audiences around me were shrieking, begging “Oh my God, oh my God, please don’t die Jaka, please don’t die.” The same with the part when Mad Dog does the same routine on Rama’s neck, here in Manila it was shown only from the back and very fast. So, it doesn’t really make the audience scream at Andi ‘get the light bulb, stab him with it before he kills your brother!’. They even reduce the greatness/craziness of Mad Dog when he’s still fighting the two brothers with the light bulb on his neck, until Rama finishes him off. Heck, even youtube has a more complete version of those scenes.

Apart from the censor, I’m not too happy with the dubbing. The dubbers are clearly Indians with their strong accent. No offense to the Indians, but if they want it dubbed into English, why didn’t they use English native speakers? Because of the dubbing, the audience lost the experience of hearing Ray Sahetapy’s magnificently scary voice/intonation as  Tama the druglord.Even some people who don’t understand a single Indonesian word, admit that Tama’s voice sends chills down their spines. There are also some misplaced dialogue, like Andi’s line was spoken by Mad Dog.

I don’t know who’s responsible for all these changes.  Probably the distributors. They have changed one of the most exciting movies in recent years into an average B-movie.

The Raid:Redemption is not merely a movie. Watching it is an experience, a special one. Thrilling, heart-pumping, tense-inducing. Cutting off the movie really diminishes the ‘experience’ to almost zero level. I just wish people would buy the DVD/Blu-ray, so they know what they’re missing out.

That moment was the day I was married to Mad Dog. It was five years on August 11th. I know most people would end that sentence with: ” and they were the happiest of my life!” They were great years, but I know we have five better ones ahead of us and five more after that and so on. Because life doesn’t stop for a celebration, we didn’t go out for a huge romantic dinner, we didn’t drink the bottle of champagne that has been chilling in our wine fridge since our engagement and we didn’t go away on a fabulous trip or cruise. What we did do was spend a simple few hours together. I had no camera, so I can’t show you the silly shots from our lunch or the photos I would have taken of the people running from the rain outside.

I can however tell you that the man that sat across from me was and is the man that I love. He is the one that takes care of me. He is the one that rescues me when I need rescuing (which is saying a lot since I have self rescuing princess and zombie survival training). He is the father of my children and their best friend. He makes me laugh when I’m annoyed and he knows when I’m smiling on the inside when I’m trying to fake serious or angry.

I asked him what was his favorite memory of the past five years and he couldn’t answer since there were too many to choose from. He didn’t want to jip Loki by saying it was the day Lex was born or vice versa. He  did say that he loved me more at that moment then he did the day we were married. I laughed and asked if that was a compliment. I mean that’s impressive if he loves me more after all my horrible moments. I then asked him what was the worst moment. He said it was the day he was driving home and the ambulance was coming to get me after Loki was born. He didn’t know what was going to happen to me. I said I would have to say that was my worst moment too.

It took me a long time to find him. There are times when we’re together I feel I need my space, I need a moment to myself and then I think of those times like now when I’m waiting for him to come home and I think how much I miss him. How much I love him. He’s one of the good guys. The Browncoats. He’s my Mad Dog.

My first pilgrimage to the desert was difficult, fun, sad, joyful and rewarding. Burning Man is a lot of things to a lot of people. Just as with any art, everyone has her/his own relationship to it, and some people love it while others can’t be bothered.

No matter your take, I’m amped. When I saw a video documenting the creation of the official welcome sign, it fueled my fire.

Burning Man 2012 – Fertility 2.0 Festival Sign from Mad Dog on Vimeo.

Earlier this year, Tedshots posted a beautiful adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” shot in 2011. It’s one of my favorites.

Now that I have the lay of the land and a better perspective on the culture of it all, I’m hoping I’ll be able to see more fun things. This video by Rainbow Raccoon is long, but that’s because it covers so much. I didn’t even see several wonders it features.

Home is where the heart is, and I know so many burners declare it’s like returning home. It may seem silly to you, or perhaps you’re a kindred spirit who gets it. Whatever the case, my heart fills when I imagine riding my bike across the playa.

Hawk, Mad Dog & Paulsen

So every Psunday (geddit? Oh, I’m such a wit) I will be posting a few psychology-related news articles with my own uninformed and incoherent ramblings. Enjoy.

• Stressed men are drawn to heavy women (from the BBC)

• Olympics and appearance diversity (from the Huffington Post)

Two articles about attractiveness and appearance this week, both very different. I loved the Huffington Post article for the simple fact it made me slightly less apathetic towards the Olympics. It certainly makes a change from the media’s seemingly endless cycle of you’re too fat – no, everyone is beautiful.

The stressed men study was interesting, but I’d prefer to see the study done again but with participants under long-term stress. The ethical problems of doing this in a lab are obvious, but seeing as the UK is in a double-dip recession (or is it triple-dip now? I find it hard to keep up), it would be the perfect time to build on the studies they mention in the introduction to the paper where actresses with more mature features are more popular in socioeconomic depressions.

• Russell Brand and addiction (from the Guardian)

Addiction is a fascinating subject and it’s always interesting to hear the ex-addict’s side of the story. I found myself agreeing with Brand in that the causes of addiction need to be treated and not just the symptoms – especially when it comes to methadone, as this can end up just becoming a legal substitute for heroin.

I didn’t watch the Newsnight programme but wish I had, if only for this:

…Hitchens and Brand repeatedly clashed, with the comedian threatening at one point to stand up and give the journalist a passionate kiss on the lips…

• Tattoos and prejudice (from the Guardian)

By far the weirdest thing I’ve read this week. I thought tattoos were mainstream now, almost to the point of boring. Of course it used to be daring and rebellious but gradually that’s become more diluted. I like tattoos if they’re done well and are in a place you’re happy with, although that bloke with a skull tattooed on his face is taking the mick a little bit.

Unsurprisingly, he’s featured on Jeremy Kyle. And, unsurprisingly, he goes by the name of ‘Mad Dog’.

The OTT reaction from the author suggests either a) she has serious prejudice issues with tattoos, b) she has serious issues with the relationship with her son, or c) she’s menopausal. I’m going for a mix of all three. It’s sad, until she starts quoting Auden at the end. The melodrama cracked me up. I sound unsympathetic, but she said his getting a tattoo is worse than having his arm amputated after a car accident.

Either that, or the Guardian has pulled off a spectacular piece of trolling. The comment section makes for interesting (and lengthy) reading, at any rate. Although sometimes I feel the Guardian comments section is becoming more and more like The Daily Mail’s. Speaking of which…

And finally, the award for ‘most ridiculous comment section of the week’ goes to…

• Advert claiming MMR jabs could cause autism is banned (from The Daily Mail)

Apparently Big Pharma is OUT TO GET US ALL. Oh, Daily Mail readers. You never fail to amuse me.

“Italians have a little joke, that the world is so hard a man must have two fathers to look after him, and that’s why they have godfathers.” ― Mario Puzo, The Godfather

Recently Mad Dog was made Godfather for my brother’s son, John (aka “W”). How cool is that, not many kids can say they have Mad Dog for their Godfather or even better yet their Geekfather. Early on Mad Dog and I saw it as our duty to make “W” a well rounded person and to do that we needed to round out his Geek side. We figured that his parents have the basic stuff under control like where to put the bottle and don’t get caught picking your nose, but who is going to teach him the important stuff? Before he was even born we started by purchasing him just about every superhero shirt or toy we can find, but it’s not about the “stuff” – it’s about the lore.

Since we live in Massachusetts and they live in Florida we needed to find a way to help from afar or better yet like from a galaxy far, far away (a reference from Star Wars for those of you non-geeks). Mad Dog came up with an amazing idea. He would start a blog for “W” to help supply him with all the geek knowledge he would need.  The blog he named perfectly “Advice from the Geekfather“.

While helping his young padawan, it is possible he will be helping many others out there. He might remind some of us Mothers and Fathers of those important things we forget to pass on to our children as the years go by during the day to day grind. For those out there without their own well of Geek knowledge, this should act as a great source for you because when Pop Culture and Geek Culture collide you don’t want your little ones left behind (wearing a red shirt). It might not be the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, but it will sure as hell remind you how important it is.

Check out: John the Baptized – Advice from the GeekFather 

I cannot believe it took me ten years to rewatch Hard Boiled. I have certainly spent the last ten years enthusiastically telling people how great it is and they need to watch it but what I really should have been doing is forcing those people to watch Hard Boiled right at the moment I thought to recommend it. C’mon, like what they were doing was better than this movie? Fat chance. Of course it may not have been physically possible to watch Hard Boiled at that exact moment (wedding, in a bar, at a house party, between acts at a music festival) but sometimes sacrifices have to be made and if you are going to do any sacrificing do it at the altar of John Woo’s Hard Boiled.

Watching Hard Boiled ten years ago, I recall screaming a lot, a hallmark of many a great action film. Not screams of fear but that of joyous “That happened and I thought something like that could never happen and now I’m a better person” kind of scream. HB is chockablock with screamy moments, like when Chow Yun Fat slides down a railing firing two guns at the same time. Or when Tony Leung pops out a boat and smokes a guy like an armed jack in a box.

I couldn’t recall the plot of Hard Boiled and was surprised to see it used the old undercover-cop-wants-to-get-out-before-he-is-in-too-deep bit. That it also incorporates the cop-on-the-edge-turn-in-your-badge bit as well means that there is little room for anything but badass badassness. Chow Yun Fat’s cop on the edge is named Tequila and he likes to rappel into chop shop warehouses and have insane gun battles. He also likes to play clarinet and he can chew a toothpick and smoke a cigerette at the same time. Tony Leung’s undercover cop is named Alan(!) and he tends to look more concerned about the crazy things Tequila drags him into. Tequila thinks Alan needs to relax and realize that “Life should be fun”. Right after he says this they slide out of some mortuary freezers and mow down a whole room of bad guys. Fun!

I completely forgot about that character of Mad Dog. Portrayed by Philip Kwok, Mad Dog comes from a long line of quiet badass bad guys. He doesn’t say much but he certainly knows how to blow up a trailer with grenade, barrelroll past the explosion and gun down the guys coming to see what the commotion is all about. Slick. Kwok looked familiar to me and I was not at all surprised to see that right before filming Hard Boiled he had worked on Riki-Oh: The Story Of Ricky. Two classics! He also featured in a movie called The Sword Stained with Royal Blood. I cannot vouch for the quality but that title is A plus. Mad Dog has some cool honor codes, like when he disagrees with the murder of an entire hospital and puts down his gun so that some patients can leave the room that his gunfight has stumbled upon. Mad Dog is a bad guy, not a monster.

Not a monster

Now Johnny Wong, that guy is a fucking animal. So Chow Yun Fat pops him in the eye.

Can I tell you about my favorite part of Hard Boiled? I mean, besides all the other parts I’ve mentioned above. It happens right after the shootout at Alan’s houseboat. Alan is suffering from a shotgun blast to the back and Tequila has just helped him kill a shit load of bad guys. What is that? Oh no, Johnny Wong is en route to the dock and if he sees Alan with Tequila then the jig will be up! Tequila says,”I gotta get out of here. I’ll see you soon,” turns around and dives right into the water, clothes and all. I cannot express how both hilarious and awesome this moment is. Also, practical.

Hard Boiled is still the gold standard for action movies. Vern called it “Die Hard times ten“. I think it might be Die Hard times 20. Maybe even 30. Did I mention that periodically throughout Hard Boiled Tequila will go to a bar and get advice from John Woo? Yes, it is true. And it tends to be pretty good advice too. More directors should do this. I would have liked seeing Tom Cruise get help from Spielberg during Minority Report.

“So the movie is going good.” “Yeah, real good.”

“A nation’s culture resides in the hearts and in the soul of its people.” said Gandhi. What does that say about the people who think RevStu speaks for the Nation’s cause? God help us!

A MAD-DOG used to run up quietly to the heels of everyone he met, and to bite them without notice.

His master suspended a bell about his neck so that the Mad-Dog might give notice of his presence wherever he went.

Thinking it a mark of distinction, the Mad-Dog grew proud of his bell and went tinkling it all over the blogosphere.

One day an old hound said to him: “Why do you make such an exhibition of yourself?

“That bell that you carry is not, believe me, any order of merit, but on the contrary a mark of disgrace, a public notice to all men to avoid you as an ill mannered Mad-Dog.”

Analysis: Mean spirited, no integrity, a pettily vindictive self serving pathology – and that’s just his good points – is it no wonder that the Wings Over Scotland mendicant Rev Stu should learn the moral of this fable: “Notoriety is often mistaken for fame.”

For more morally superior and vacuous posturing click on the Fable category to the right.

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Title: Beautiful Disaster

Author: Jamie McGuire

Rating: 3/10 & 10/10*(What this means)

Publication: 2011

Recommendation: CONFLICTED! 50/50- Read/Don’t read. Very dependent on individual readers. Written for mature young adults and older. Sexual content/ Language/ Alcohol Use/ Disturbing Situations. (If your name is Rindi Salensky you will love it.)

My Reading Method: Kindle Book (currently it is only $2.99 through Amazon.)

From Goodreads:

“The new Abby Abernathy is a good girl. She doesn’t drink or swear, and she has the appropriate percentage of cardigans in her wardrobe. Abby believes she has enough distance between her and the darkness of her past, but when she arrives at college with her best friend America, her path to a new beginning is quickly challenged by Eastern University’s Walking One-Night Stand.

Travis Maddox, lean, cut, and covered in tattoos, is exactly what Abby needs—and wants—to avoid. He spends his nights winning money in a floating fight ring, and his days as the charming college co-ed. Intrigued by Abby’s resistance to his charms, Travis tricks her into his daily life with a simple bet. If he loses, he must remain abstinent for a month. If Abby loses, she must live in Travis’ apartment for the same amount of time. Either way, Travis has no idea that he has met his match.”

***WARNING- MY REVIEWS OFTEN CONTAIN MILD SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!***

Prepare yourselves… this is going to be messy.

This review is very difficult to write because I had such a STONG love/hate relationship with Beautiful Disaster. About 70% of what happens is absolutely horrifying. The depicted relationship is- quite frankly- extremely unhealthy at times. BUT, that being said, it was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I couldn’t look away. I was engrossed. It pulled emotions from me that I have not felt while reading in a long, long, long time- both negative and positive, but the fact that it made me feel anything is quite an accomplishment.

First, I’m going to talk about the negative aspects of BD- and there are several. If I was rating this on how much I APPROVE of the behavior depicted, I would only give it 3/10. The relationship between Travis and Abby is TOXIC. Travis is a broken, completely screwed up human being and Abby is a complete idiot for putting up with (and occasionally encouraging) him.

*AGAIN, WARNING YOU ABOUT SPOILERS, YOU MIGHT NOT CONSIDER THESE TO BE MILD!*

Travis is the ‘unattainable’ guy every girl wants- though I do not fully understand the ‘projected’ (what the author is telling me is attractive/ while all the girls are enraptured) appeal. His most notable characteristics are that (other than being incredibly attractive/ muscular/ charming, of course) he is very tattooed and scary (he competes in a Fight Club type arena called The Circle. He doesn’t lose). Girls are literally throwing themselves at him in every chapter. He ‘bags’ them on his couch (not in his bed, he makes a very clear distinction that they aren’t allowed in his bed) then never calls them back. (Ummm…. Degrading much??) His character does tend to grow on you over time and in the end it’s the girls he ‘bags’ that look bad.

Abby, on the other hand, is fairly normal-ish with a non-traditional past. She first meets Travis at The Circle, but he just happens to be cousins and roommates with the boy Abby’s best friend is dating. Convenient, right? He quickly renames her Pigeon/Pidge (which I found to be incredibly annoying and horrible/terrible sounding). Even though this story focuses on Travis as the ‘bad boy’ I found that Abby irritated me more. She never seemed to make up her mind about what she wanted and in the end managed to jerk around with the guys’ feelings.

I would also like to note, part of the reason I’m going to be so hard on Abby through this review is because it is from her POV. We know Trav is a jerk, but we can’t see inside his head so I can neither fully understand him or condemn/justify his actions.

However, while the relationship is sometimes boarding on abusive and Travis has control issues, (at one point she dresses a little too ‘scandalous’ for his taste and tells her to change- and she DOES IT! All because he won’t be able to concentrate if he is wondering who is looking at her (etc.) in a low cut tank top and heels!!!) he does tend to change over time and I found myself forgiving him. At least, he starts to realize his behaviors are not acceptable and stops specific demands. Abby, on the other hand, kept jumping back and forth between whether or not she was OK with Trav’s actions. So I can’t exactly say it is 100% his fault. During one point Abby tells Travis she doesn’t want him to change for her (stop fighting/drinking/etc- wasn’t particularly clear) and actually tells him to ‘teach a guy some manners’ (remember, he’s this big bad fighter) but then gets frustrated with him later on for a similar thing!!

So while Travis is a dick, he at least stuck to what he believed in. Abby had no idea how to be in a relationship and at times I wanted to strangle her for being completely clueless. She was all over the place and the reasons she gave for not wanting to be with Trav weren’t- what I considered- to be the right ones. (If she didn’t want to be with him, fine- I see lots of reasons why being with a guy like Trav is a horrible idea. He has a temper, sleeps around, has a scary job, drinks too much, lashes out, and is demanding. BUT THOSE AREN’T HER REASONS!!! She has a ‘past’ which pushes him away for a huge part of the book. And I found it so so so infuriating.) In all, both characters struggled with accepting one another (including faults) and had no idea how to compromise.

Additionally, Travis’s temper was terrifying. I think I need to say that again. Seriously, he could use some counseling and/or medication with a support group on the side. This is the one area where I got a little turned off with the book. Sure, a person has a right to be mad but to be completely out of control (which results in the destruction of your apartment or phone) IS ABSOLUTELY NOT OK.

ISSUES that ticked me off:

One random stereotypes that annoyed me- all sorority girls are skanky bitches. So why then is there no stereotype for the fraternity brothers (in which Trav is a member)? This book is rather full of double standards. (Additionally, it’s OK for Travis to take girls home but he gets weirdly possessive when Abby flirts with a guy.) Also, the majority of girls are depicted negatively. Girls fall into one of three categories:

1) The majority- they want to/have already slept with Travis and are portrayed as ‘slutty’. This is said to be at least half the female population at the University… (I’m sorry, but that makes girls look sooooo stupid! I get so frustrated with authors who make all the other characters look awful to make the heroine look good. Why can’t I decide for myself? And really, I went to college- there was NEVER any guy that slept with the majority of girls. You know why? Because girls aren’t dumb! These are college girls! Sure, some girls have active sex lives and that’s fine- whatever- but for the most part females go to college for an education= they are in possession of a brain. Ugh!)

2) ONE GIRL, Kara, the roommate, disapproves of the relationship and is sort-of a bitch because of her condemnation. I actually liked Kara. She had a brain. At one point she talks about co-dependency issues and Abby basically brushes her off and belittles what she said to Travis. I also felt a little sorry for Kara because she had such a horrible roommate. I would have been friends with Kara.

3) One girl, the bestfriend- America (Mere), immune to Trav’s charms because she is dating his cousin and alternates between wanting Abby to date him and wanting her to date Parker. While I liked Mere for the most part, she annoyed me because she first wanted Abby to date Travis, then changed her mind and encouraged her with Parker, and proceeded to get a little mad at Abby when she wasn’t going to date Trav and wanted Parker. Grrr. Did that sound confusing? Because it was.

One thing I will caution- only read this book if you have a REAL understanding of a healthy relationship. I worry about young girls reading this and thinking Trav’s behavior is attractive. Additionally, I also hope guys aren’t reading this and thinking this is what girls like.

Things I feel the need to say:

It is ONLY acceptable for a man to tell you what to wear if he is your father and you are under the age of eighteen.

Physical violence is ONLY ok if you are defending yourself or others.

IT IS NOT rational to sleep with someone with the hope that they lose interest in you.

Do NOT drive your car or motorcycle drunk. (Occasionally they have DDs, but I wanted to throw this out there.)

Unprotected sex is a bad idea.

Losing your temper and hitting someone/throwing something/destroying property are not attractive qualities. At all.

Smoking is NOT attractive.

If you are uncomfortable in a situation- GET OUT. It does not matter if you made a promise, a bet, or think people will look down on you. Use your brain and follow your instincts. If something in your gut is screaming LEAVE, then please GO. No one is going to look after you better than you can look out for yourself.

Drinking fifteen shots of anything is a bad idea. You will not have a good time and end up completely wasted. Alcohol poisoning is a real thing.

Ok, so I hope I made my point. This was not a super healthy relationship. Only read this book if you agree with and understand all the points I made above.

Phew.

Now, on to why I liked this book…

Basically this book was like crack. I HAD to know what was happening. I couldn’t look away. I literally stayed up until 3am trying to finish BD because I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I didn’t know how it ended. I was obsessed.

While the characters are completely screwed up, I couldn’t help but feel for them. Jamie McGuire does such a good job at describing this world that I couldn’t help but feel like I was living in it. Seriously, for the majority of the book, my stomach was in knots. I was angry, sad, happy, nervous, and 100% rooting for Trav and Abby to get their act together while simultaneously wishing I could punch each of them in the face.

It has been a long, long, very long time since I have felt such strong emotions centered on a novel.

If I were to rate the book purely on the story being told (and not whether I approve) I would give it 10/10. It is that believable.

Now, let me clarify, I didn’t easily digest the entire storyline as plausible – especially the part about Vegas and the mob- but, hey, it’s fiction. (I didn’t BELIEVE Harry Potter was real, but I still BELIEVED in Harry Potter- if that makes any sense.) So, while I didn’t think everything was 100% physically possible, I still fell for it.

Part of the reason I liked the story so much is because the characters are flawed. For one thing, no relationship is perfect. In fact, this relationship was perhaps a little more destructive than what I can easily stomach while picturing a nineteen year old. However, it did seem real. Genuine.

There was no doubt in my mind that Travis was head over heels in love with Abby. Did he show it ‘properly’? Oh, hell no. But I believed it.

Overall, I LOVED reading this book. I was completely horrified by much of the content, but I LOVED the ride. I even loved Travis. I would never, ever, ever be with a guy like him, but that’s just a personal preference. I don’t think I could actually forgive him completely for his past. But as a character? He’s dynamic and non-traditional- and that makes a great story. I loved Abby a little less because I thought she jerked guys around a lot, but I still fully thought she was representative of someone who COULD be real. I wanted her to speak up. I wanted her to make decisions. I wanted her to get past her own history and do what was best for HER. So while I found her to be somewhat weak, I was still gripped to the pages wondering what would happen next.

Positive issues addressed:

1) Abby and Travis actually start out as legitimate friends. Which is awesome. No insta-attraction.

2) Grades/Homework are important.

3) Love conquers all.

Short little list, but that’s what I came up with when looking at overall ‘positive’ messages being sent.

So, what makes a good book? Do you have to agree with it? Does it need to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside? Or does it have to tell a story? Does it need to make you feel something? What about negative emotions?

Seriously- What makes a good book? I honestly want to know.

This is my struggle with this particular review. In the end I really can’t say for sure. I have no idea what makes a good book. I can’t particularly say I liked it, but at the same time I loved it. At times, I hated what was happening while concurrently feeling every emotion and hoping for the best. Beautiful Disaster is a rollercoaster ride.

In the end, I noticed that this book isn’t available at many libraries. I think that’s sad and hope more pick up this title. I hope libraries aren’t choosing to skip BD because of content. I think it tells a captivating story that might be important to someone.

However, while this book is centered on two young adult characters, this is Contemporary Fiction and not Young Adult Fiction. On Amazon, the book description clearly has a note saying, “**For mature readers. Contains sexual situation and strong language.**”

I don’t really want to encourage or discourage anyone from reading this book. Read a few more reviews, do your research and decide for yourself.

This review can also be found on my Goodreads Account.

I am attaching a few reviews that you should check out:

Modest review (3/5) Found on Amazon- “Intriguing and fulfilling” by Paddington6159

Negative Review (1/5) Found on Goodreads here.

Positive Review (5/5) Found on Goodreads here.

Phew!!-  That, dear readers, was the most difficult review I’ve written to date! But I must admit, I would read another book in this series if one existed.

Additionally, if you DO read the book, Ms. McGuire has added a short section from Travis’s POV. You can view this on her Facebook page.

She has this image in her post. I thought I would add it here, as well. No idea who he is but he sure it nice to look at.

I will also admit that I have purchased the first two books in her other series which has a paranormal aspect. I haven’t read them yet but I will review them when I get a chance!

Happy Reading!

(Um, if anyone ever wants to send me any ARC by Ms. McGuire I would not be opposed… just sayin.)

***UPDATE***

Wow, I must admit, I did not expect such a response to this review. (And none in the comments… interesting.)

Well, friends, I will be happy to clarify a few things that seem to be bothering you.

1) “Abuse”- I did say the depicted relationship is ‘sometimes bordering on abuse’ and I stand by that comment. While Travis never physically hurts Abby, he does manipulate her to an extent that I would say is extremely unhealthy. For example,(DO I NEED TO WARN YOU ABOUT SPOILERS AGAIN?) at one point in the story they (as a couple) go to a club. While there, another guy buys Abby a drink- even though she was clearly not flirting or asking for one. Travis flips out, yells at her, and throws the drink away. They have to leave the club because ‘Travis is in a pissy mood’. THEN as they’re leaving, another guy touches her arm to get her attention which completely sets Travis off and he punches the unsuspecting guy in the face. Because stranger-guy is holding on to Abby she ends up falling as well and getting hurt.

Yeah.

So you can read that in the context of ‘he loves her so much, he can’t stand any other guy touching her, it was an accident she got hurt.’ But, I think if you are honest with yourself you will see it as waaaaay unhealthy.

Now, let me explain why I harped on the ‘abuse’… Perhaps I glossed over it earlier, but I really don’t think it is a good idea for young girls to associate this with attractive/ desired behavior. Reason being- TRAVIS IS THE EXCEPTION- NOT THE RULE. If you find a guy that has a violent streak, sure, there is a chance he will see the light and love you forever without ever laying a hand on your pretty little head. HOWEVER, MANY GUYS WILL NOT. You can tell a lot about a guy in how he acts with other people. If he will happily hit a stranger, there is a good chance he will hit you, too. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But that is how he responds to negative situations- and at some point in the future the two of you will not agree on something… and what? He’ll hit you? He’ll hit the wall? He’ll go out and get drunk and hit a stranger?

Come on! It’s unhealthy!!

He would need professional help to overcome anger management issues!

BUT all that being said- it doesn’t become an issue in the book. Travis never hits Abby. He never degrades her. He’s almost rather sweet most of the time. HOWEVER, this is fiction. So it’s completely possible for someone like Trav to turn into a great boyfriend.

2) Let me clarify- YES! Read this book if nothing above completely offends you. You will be fine.

Again, I would read another book about Trav and Abby in a heartbeat if this was turned into a series. The story is really quite good.

http://davesgarden.com/guides/articles/view/2030/

It went by the name of maddog weed when I was small, and it seemed that every summer a new supply of its miracle cure was hastily made to insure the well being of those who might have come in contact with rabid animals. There was a time that I was so young I can barely remember, when a rabies scare turned normal parents upside down. When I think of it, I call it the summer for rabies. I remember only bits and pieces of that summer since I was not quite 5, but it was not a happy time. My dog Pepper, who was approximately my age, had her first litter of puppies. I only remember naming one of them Sandy and it was to be a pet for my uncle and his new wife. There were not many dogs in my life at that time, only Pepper, and she was a beautiful mixed breed of something or other. Long white hair that glistened and a personality that could easily win the coldest heart, that was my Pepper.

Word got around that a rabid raccoon had come close to homes where children were playing in the yard; then we heard that squirrels, opossums, rabbits, and finally my Uncle Dock’s beautiful collie, Shep, had to be put down because of the dreaded rabies.  When that happened, dogs were put on a makeshift chain and contained within a fenced area, or they were put in an inside area where no other animals could get to them.  Pepper was given living quarters in a toolroom just off the back porch.  I breathed a sigh of relief because she was safe.  

Publicized as a cure for rabies, Scutellaria lateriflora caused a stir during the mid 18th century. One doctor announced at the time that he had successfully treated hundreds of cases with it. His claims for skullcap were finally discredited, but not before earning the plant more common names referring to its association with rabies: madweed and mad dog weed. It grows in moist woods and swampy areas, and as a native North American plant, can be found across the country. It is a perennial with an erect, smooth branching stem that grows to 3 feet. Broadly lance shaped, toothed leaves grow in opposite pairs. Small tubular blue, pinkish, violet or white flowers bloom in July and August. The blooms have two lips, the upper one is hooded.

The name of the plant, skullcap, refers to the shape of the flower, which resembles a helmet with the visor raised. Skullcap was the word for a type of military helmet that was familiar to earlier colonists. The Indian tribes used it as a sedative, and there were at one time claims for it’s effectiveness as a “nervine” or tranquilizer. It has achieved a reputation as a sedative and antispasmodic, properties that may account for its sometimes being effective in alleviating the symptoms of rabies. For years herbalists have acclaimed the plant as an excellent “nervine”, and have prescribed it for a gamut of so called nervous disorders from mild anxiety to epilepsy. That achieved some controversy, but less controversial is the calming effect of the tea made from the whole plant.

Skullcap contains scutellarin a flavonoid with sedative and antispasmodic properties. This was probably the active ingredient in the skullcap extract used in 19th century medicine. It is still used in modern herbal medicine for the prevention of epileptic seizures, insomnia, hysteria, anxiety and withdrawal from barbituates. It is currently an alternative herbal medicine to treat HDD. More cautious pharmacological opinion concedes as possible the validity of skullcap’s use as a sedative, but only on the basis of animal tests. It is one of those plants that should not be used as a home remedy in any instance, the plant has some effect on the nervous system, and as such should be considered too dangerous to be used in any way without the attention of trained medical personnel.

The summer for rabies is only a dim, distant memory, and not a very pleasant one at that. Dogs and cats were being put down for no reason other than folks had no place to keep them contained. Somehow I lost the puppy, Sandy, perhaps as a precaution, but my Pepper dog was spared at a time when many animals were not.  People were worried, and children were not allowed to roam freely that year.  And bottles of skullcap infusion lined many kitchen cabinets.  

That’s the way of things sometimes, we have to survive a scare to make us more aware, more cautious. It has always bothered me that so many animals were wiped out simply as a precaution. But there again, veterinarians were unheard of in the mountains, and fathers simply did what they had to do to protect their families.

http://ionxchange.com/

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