Many of you know, I am an ambivalent American.  I am educated enough to see the apocalypse looming, but not powerful or skilled enough to do anything to stop it.  I see myself perched on the edge of the precipice watching the decline of the American Empire and view my function little different from  a biologist I met who devotes his life to assembling statistics dealing with frog species extinction, realizing that his purpose is to “memorialize the decline” of the earth’s ecosystem.

And when it all seems darkest, then comes American Thanksgiving, the Great American Feast Day, and I remember. I remember where we came from. I remember who we are.  I remember our promise.

More to follow.

Ah how we love vintage cocktail guides, but this one in specific we love for two reasons: the art and typeface are awesome and it is has a super guide for how much booze to have on hand for a party of 4 to 20 and wow what a lot of booze it is (check out chart below). Download whole brochure by clicking on title here:  It’s Party Time: Cocktail Brochure from Old Forester 1960s (pdf). You can download the whole guide as a pdf “It’s Party Time: Cocktail Brochure from Old Forester 1960s” or go to  our flickr stream for individual pages http://tinyurl.com/yzoel4a . Happy Holiday Season!

George Bernard Shaw once wrote that plot was the creation, manoeuvering and destruction of relationships between characters. Plot is derived from character and it’s sole purpose is to drive the story so the character can attempt to achieve their goal. Every scene in your script must either reveal something about the character and advance the story. Flat scenes become boring and lose your audeince. Here are some plot devices that can pique your plot:

• DANGER – I cannot stress this one enough. It can be moral danger such as deciding to cheat on your spouse, or physical danger such as being trapped in a burning house. Raise the stakes and make your character earn their goal and pay for their mistakes. Give them insecurities, flaws, problems and issues we can all relate to. Make them fall into a ditch that they must crawl out of. A common plot device in action films is to either have multiple things go wrong at once or sequentially. The victim tries to escape, but they can’t find the keys to the car so they break in. Then there’s a flat battery so the can’t hot wire it to start. Then there’s no cell phone coverage… What’s needed may not arrive in time or not arrive at all. Oftentimes, dramatists use a Deus Ex Machina (literally God from the machine) whereby some life saving event occurs just in the nick of time before all is lost. Make sure this isn’t a lucky co-incidence or your audience will never forgive you.

• TIME BOMB - Give your characters a ticking time clock where something seriously bad will happen if they don’t achieve a goal. Maybe there isn’t enough time to defuse the bomb? Perhaps the main character doesn’t know how to defuse the bomb. Maybe the main character isn’t even aware of the bomb. Does the audience know? Giving either the audience or the main character such a superior position adds intrigue and interest. Alternatively, the main character can simply run out of options to achieve their goal rather than out of time.

• CONFESSION – After deep humiliation make your character confess to a secret, shortcoming, wound or a deep seeded fear or shame. Maybe they realise the error of their ways and take responsibility for their actions. Consider your audience. Being born out of wedlock is generally not considered a shameful act in the Western world. Forcing a pregnant unwed couple to marry may be acceptable is some cultures, but not in others. Play with morality in your plot. The beauty of it is that it’s never clearly right or wrong like a maths problem. Is it wrong to kill someone? What if they killed your family? What if it is in self defense?

• BETRAYAL – The hero’s buddy changes sides or is revealed as a traitor. What if the main character doesn’t realise this, or does so when it’s too late? What if the traitor leads them into a trap?

• DILEMMA – The hero is forced to make a choice between two equally bad alternatives. Consider the family with premature Siamese twins who must decide which one survives and which one doesn’t. What if the main character consciously decides not to act because they are faced with issues of duty for the higher good? Or even love?

• OBSTACLES – External influences such as bad weather or natural disasters forcing them to stop. Car or other vital piece of machinery breaks down and a replacement part is not immediately forthcoming. What if their progress is stalled due to injury, illness or other physical condition such as pregnancy or diabetes? What if someone in their team is killed or kidnapped? Running out of bullets, money, food, air all add to the excitement of danger.

• DISCOVERY – The element of surprise and shock always jolts your audience. Examples of this include a cover been blown of an undercover cop, the presence of an intruder being noticed, an escalating lie has been revealed. A discovery must pivot your story into a new direction, not simply act as a minor irritant. Remember the scene in “Mad Men” where Betty discovers Don’s true identity by opening a locked drawer? She didn’t sigh and carry on, she left him. Discoveries can also be wild goose chases. Following the wrong lead, the wrong map or the wrong advice.

• LOVE – Due to it’s universality, love will always add to a plot. What if a past lover returns? Consider Jodie Foster in “Sommersby”, when she tells her returned “husband” that he’s not the man she married because she didn’t love him like she loves the impostor. Add a love triangle; one bride versus two grooms. Add gender swaps, such as “Tootsie” who had enamored a man who thinks she’s a woman. Also consider the third wheel. The buddy who suddenly becomes the bride’s love interest when he reveals his true self. Love is also used to tame a savage, misanthropic heart.

• TRAITS – Give your character some endearing traits so the audience can partially overlook their negative ones. Give them courage, give them love. give them scruples so they are fighting for a good cause where the collateral damages justifies the cause, make them perform a good deed, make them desirable such as handsome, physical and funny. Make them spiritual, generous and wise. Ensure it all emerges from a place of truth and authenticity. Audiences retract from phonies. Give them fears, traumas which block their growth, masks which prevent other characters from seeing their real self.

• LIKES – Make your characters like children, animals and art. Give them great taste in cars, partners, houses, music, fashion, food and overall lifestyle. Audiences tend to admire what they aspire to be or what they perceive to be desirable.

So go forth and beef up those plotlines.

Ya tengo en mi poder la segunda temporada de Mad Men. No es una serie que enganche, como Perdidos, en los que nada más terminar un capítulos sientes el impulso y le necesidad de tragarte no uno, si no tres o cuatro más. No. Mad Men es distinta.

Ver un capítulo de una de las mejores series de televisión (con perdón de la ya mencionada) es como deleitarse comiendose un exquisito bombón de chocolate; un placer del que disfrutas con los cinco sentidos. Es como disfrutar de la esencia del cine en casa. Te dejas llevar, termina, y acabas extasiado como después de un enorme y brutal orgasmo. Es ahí cuando dices… con uno, es suficiente; el resto me los dosifico.

La serie está ambientada en el sector publicitario de Nueva York a principios de la década de 1960, y sigue a los ejecutivos que trabajaban en ese mundo, que vivía su época de esplendor. Todo era susceptible de ser anunciado y prácticamente valía cualquier cosa para hacerlo, siempre que fuera algo creativo y original. La reconstrucción de ese mundo es fascinante, empezando por la fotografía y la ambientación, pasada por el “filtro” del humo de los cigarrillos que todos los personajes fuman sin parar.

Seems to me that successful television drama creators/show runners have some traits in common. They’re not-quite-alpha males, a bit neurotic, definitely obsessive, can be quirky and difficult, and often have an vexed relationship with fans where they deliberately obfuscate the creative process of creating the tv show in question, purposefully sending the most devoted of fans into a tizzy. As Buster Bluth would say, “It’s like you get off on withholding.” Show runners I can think of who fit this description, or close to it, include David Chase (The Sopranos), David Simon (The Wire), Chris Carter (The X Files) and perhaps David Lynch (Twin Peaks).

So thank goodness for Matt Weiner, creator of Mad Men. Weiner has a lot of the same characteristics of those other guys, except that he’s crazy in love with his characters and isn’t afraid to show it. He dishes like he’s talking about his ex-girlfriends in a two-part interview with the Daily Beast that was published after the third season ended. Here’s part one and part two. Don’t click if you haven’t already watched the third season finale. It’s not Spoiler City, it’s like freaking Spoiler Major Metropolitan Statistical Area up in there. Juicy stuff.

You’d be forgiven at the moment for thinking we were nearing the end of a decade. The interwebs have been awash of late with more countdowns, best ofs, top tens and general reminiscences of the 2000’s then you could poke a digital stick at. Suddenly everybody is a critic, and while some of the countdowns have been insightful and thought-provoking, others have been….well, like this one. For the nostalgic, these countdowns are practically memory-heaven. But for those who don’t buy into that sort of stuff, it gets a little tiring. So, what better than to list some of the best (and worst) ‘best-of’ lists currently clogging up cyber-space?

Pitchfork: P2K

Over the past months American music site Pitchfork have taken an in-depth look at the decade in music. Way back in the dark ages of 2001 the site barely existed, but since then has grown to be one of the most formidable online music news and reviews sites on the net. Not only does P2K count down the best albums, songs and music videos, it also features a series of essays detailing some of the more interesting developments in music over the past ten years. Of particular note is the ‘Decade in Indie’ and the social history of the mp3.

Highlights
Best Album: Radiohead- Kid A
Best Song: Outkast- B.O.B.

Paste Magazine: The 25 best Album Covers

Slightly more obscure is Paste magazine’s countdown of the best album covers. It has been argued that as digital sales boom and physical CD sales decline, the quality of modern album art is going steadily downhill (as this cover would seem to prove). Regardless, Paste have put together an interesting countdown, which includes the likes of The Flaming Lips, Animal Collective, Arcade Fire and Lil Wayne. Whoever decided to award Neko Case’s Middle Cyclone cover as number 1 though needs to go back and re-take primary school art classes.

Highlights
Number 1: Neko Case- Middle Cyclone
Number 2: Animal Collective- Merriweather Post Pavilion (and rightly so)

The A.V. Club: The 30 best TV Shows

The problem with critics is often that their views on what is ‘good’ differs from the majority of the viewing public. Which is a shame, but it’s also the reason why most of the shows on the A.V. Club’s list of best TV shows of the decade have either ended or been cancelled. Still, it’s a formidable list. The top 3 (The Wire, Arrested Development and the Sopranos) are undoubtedly some of the finest productions since television’s inception, let alone in this decade. Other notable shows include Mad Men, Lost and The West Wing, just scraping in at number 30. The best part of this countdown though is the shitfight in the comments as to what constitutes a ‘decade’. Hilarious.

Highlights
Number 1: The Wire
Number 15: Veronica Mars
Number 22: Six Feet Under

News.com.au: Moment of the Decade

Oh, News.com.au. Purveyor of fine, quality journalism. Not content with simply telling Middle Australia what the best bits of the noughties were, good old Rupert has gone and encouraged everyone to name their own favourites! For anyone that’s ever read the comments to any article on the site, that should be enough to click your way on over. In case you need any more incentive though, today’s category is ‘Killers, Haters, Tools: Choose the Villian of the decade’. Apparently Kyle Sandilands and John Mayer are in the same league as Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. Who would have thought? The fun doesn’t stop there. Oh no siree, it doesn’t. For you creative types, you can even have a go at naming what the next decade should be called! An issue of utmost importance, of course. Seriously, the sooner this site becomes paid-only, the better.

Lowlights
Pop Culture
Money
Sex & Life
…actually, just spend a good 15 minutes trawling through the site. It’ll make your day.

Times Online: The 100 Best Movies of the Noughties

Slightly more classy news outlet Times Online went all out and counted down the top 100 cinematic releases of the decade. With everything from political drama Milk to Roman-epic Gladiator to comedy Knocked Up, the list does well to cater for everyone…up until the odd choice of The Bourne Supremacy/Ultimatum at number 2 (So really it should have been the best 101 movies). And Team America World Police in the top 5? You must be joking.

In Brief
Number 1: Hidden
Number 16: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Number 34: Finding Nemo
Number 64: Anchorman

Well that’s about it. Some of the best (and worst) countdowns of the best (and worst) things to happen in the noughties. Of course, a quick google search will reveal thousands more best-ofs then the ones here. But really, is there much point? When it comes down to it, who gets to decide that Franz Ferdinand is better than Hot Chip? Or that Monsters, Inc. deserves to place ahead of Pan’s Labyrinth?

Perhaps the best countdown of the decade should go to Hungry Beast. They look at the ten best years of the 2000’s. You can check that out here.

]]> http://notrelienquotidien.com/2009/11/26/mini-post-les-lecons-dun-homme-de-pub/ Thu, 26 Nov 2009 11:34:13 +0000 Jean http://notrelienquotidien.com/2009/11/26/mini-post-les-lecons-dun-homme-de-pub/

Peu de temps aujourd’hui. Juste assez pour partager cette petite présentation TED donnée par Rory Sutherland, grand publicitaire british. Du grand art.

• Death Race (Paul W.S. Anderson, 2008). Als kind was ik zot van Death Race 2000, een onnozele cultfilm uit de seventies met Sylvester Stallone en David Carradine, die eigenlijk niets meer is dan een afvalrace voor gladiatoren in auto’s. De remake is al even onnozel, maar natuurlijk nog een pak lawaaieriger. Nochtans had het allemaal erger gekund: die Jason Statham is goed voor een vette grijns nu en dan en het was fijn om Ian “Cocksucker” McShane nog eens te zien opduiken in een film. B-film met veel knullige en hier en daar grappige momenten. (**)
• Angels & Demons (Ron Howard, 2009). Ik krijg binnenshuis soms wel eens het verwijt naar m’n hoofd geslingerd dat uit m’n muziek-, film- en boekenkeuzes enkel misprijzen voor mainstreamproducten blijkt die door de lezers van deze weblocatie enkel verkeerd geïnterpreteerd kan worden, maar hey, Angels & Demons, het kan moeilijk nog simpeler. En eigenlijk valt het nog wel allemaal mee. Nee, echt bij de lurven grijpt het je niet, en al die de-kerk-houdt-er-een-verborgen-agenda-op-na-onthullingen zijn nu ook niet bepaald ophefmakend, maar het had een pak erger gekund. Angels & Demons kent minder inzinkingen dan z’n voorganger en je hoeft je niet te ergeren aan dat over het paard getilde trutteke van Amélie Poulain. (**1/2)
• Boarding Gate (Oliver Asssayas, 2007). Clean vond ik heel goed, deze iets minder. Je kan nochtans niet beweren dat Asia Argento (dochter van) haar best niet doet: het mens kronkelt en lult wat af, doet haar best om een psychologisch zwaar gehavend personage neer te zetten en krijgt degelijk weerwerk. Maar het pakt niet echt, het is allemaal wat te miserabilistisch, te geforceerd duister, kinky en tegendraads, waardoor je naar een stuk theater lijkt te kijken dat nergens heen gaat. (**)
• Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince (David Yates, 2009). Mja. Hier geldt net hetzelfde als voor de vorige verfilmingen (en naar ik vermoed ook de boeken): het zit allemaal fijn in elkaar, het is plezant om naar te kijken, weet de aandacht doorgaans vast te houden, maar het is toch geen Lord Of The Rings. (***)
• Raging Bull (Martin Scorsese, 1980). Veel beter dan dit wordt cinema niet. (*****)
• Lomax The Songhunter (Rogier Kappers, 2004). Verrassend ontroerende documentaire, die vooral de voetstappen van Lomax volgt tijdens zijn Europese reizen. (****)
• Monty Python: Almost The Truth. Onverwacht onderhoudend. Eigenlijk had ik zelden of nooit iets gelezen of gezien over de dynamiek van die zes. Best leuk om ze te horen vertellen over elkaars inbreng aan de hand van allerhande klassieke stukken. Eigenlijk zou ik de oorspronkelijke versie van zeven uur wel willen zien. (****)
• Verder ook gekeken naar Them Crooked Vultures live @ Reading op de BBC (slaapverwekkend), Little Britain Season 2 (“Bitty!”) op DVD aan het kijken, en Hung, 24 Season 7 (vraag me niet waarom) en Mad Men Season 3 (greatness) aan het volgen.

NP: Digital Primitives – Hum, Crackle & Pop

…from “Sesame Street,” and it is a fun segment; but what’s really great about the skit is that the legendary Frank Oz plays the lead character, Mr. Draper.

What’s awesome about this is that it’s Frank’s first “Sesame Street” performance in nearly 15 years. Bert, Grover and Cookie Monster haven’t been the same since.

Check it out here:

Weird hearing a “Sesame Street” version of Rjd2’s opening song,

-Shady

Emily as Peggy: 1960's dress (Unique), burgundy tights (American Apparel, borrowed from Erin), t-straps (Anthropolgie), watch (Skagen, gift from Hays and Kathleen).

There’s no question about my love of the AMC tv show “Mad Men.”  Despite not being much of a tv person (I haven’t had since college), I adore the hisorically-driven, clever “Mad Men” and its remarkable aesthetic.  On Tuesday I decided that my adoration of Joan Holloway might be a bit exclusive, and so I  attempted to be generous with my affections and wear an outfit I felt was worthy Ms. Peggy Olson.  Although she lacks to sheer sex appeal of Joan and the elegance and icy cool of Betty Draper, Peggy shouldn’t be discounted as an style icon in her own right, particularly as she matures into her position as head copy-writer at the end of Season Two.  Her prim, tailored dresses, pillbox hats, and sweater sets all have a school-girl quality to them that is adorable and clever when done properly.

Thus, here you have my take on Peggy Olson.  The dress is from Unqiue and cost a whole $3.  I love its geometric buttons and the plaid top.  Much like Peggy’s dresses, this one has a fitted but modest bodice with broad shoulders and a conservative length.  My hatred of panty hose led me away from adherence to the vintage look and toward colored tights, which I think deepen the colors of the outfit and look quite interesting with the red-brown color of my much beloved t-straps.

In keeping with Peggy’s vibe I chose to wear a thin watch with a leather band, which is very out of character for me.  I hate wearing watches, but my generous bosses gave me this watch on Monday and I decided that it was perfect for an early 60’s look.  I also briefly wore (but had trouble keeping on) a strange and lovely fur crown I picked up at Unique which resembles Peggy’s pillbox hats.

Thus, here you have Emily as Peggy.  While she’s no Joan, Peegy ain’t no slouch, and dressed like her I felt quite un-slouchy myself.

It's not Thanksgiving without a big plate of Wonder Bread!

Ah, yes…tomorrow is the really big day….the family gathers together at a beautifully decorated table (oh my, where did you get those big pine cones?) with the house smelling deliciously like roasted turkey and dressing. The children are well-behaved(and well-dressed…no tee shirts) and appreciative of your efforts(“This is delicious Mom“), no one is tipsy…or mouthy…or late…no one say, “I usually put marshmallows on top of my sweet potatoes.” I’ve never actually attended the above feast, mind you, and maybe it exists only in movies or in my mind.

Truth is, tomorrow is a work day for many people…police officers, firemen(or women), doctors and nurses, and yes…news people have to work. So that already puts a little kink in the quest for perfection. In the perfect Thanksgiving no one ever says, “Will you shake a leg on the pie  honey, I’ve got to get to the hospital/police station/BGE/newsroom!”…whatever.

But even though yours truly will put in some hours at work, I’m all good with it. Tomorrow morning I will enjoy the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade, and begin what for me, is the arduous process of transforming butter, flour salt and ice water into pastry dough…where are you Optimus Prime? The one think I’ve been asked to make for the dinner I’m attending, is apple pie. And against my better judgement, I’m doing it from scratch this year. No Pillsbury-already-flatttened pie dough(how do they get it so round? that’s one of my big problems..asymmetrical pie dough), no canned apples-yech-it will be done by my very own hands, though I’m pretty certain….no, make that 100%… Stone Mill Bakery can make a better one.

I did buy an extra dessert, a banana cream pie from Atwater’s…I know, I know, nothing about banana cream pie screams Thanksgiving, but I think it’s nice option for those who might like something different from pumpkin or apple. At least I know that pie will be delicious.

After I make my apple creation, I may try to catch up on Mad Men episodes…as someone was describing the finale this morning, I realized I never saw it! Oh, Don Draper…you never disappoint. There’s a guy who truly does “live in the bubble”.(Ever see that 30 Rock? Hilarious…)

We’ll head over for dinner about 5…eat some fabulous food, talk, relax a little, and then I’ll head on to TV Hill to do the 11 PM news. And be thankful for a good job…and for someone who graciously feeds me Thanksgiving dinner…and for a warm home…all that stuff. While Thanksgiving won’t be perfect, it never is really, and that’s ok too. It’s Thanksgiving! Try to have a lovely day, no matter what it’s like…do something nice for yourself…let a couple of irritating things a family member says to you just  ROOOOOLL off. And smile. And if you have some leftover good karma…send it the way of my pastry dough.

Every Wednesday, from today until the end of time, my close friend and bitter foe Mad Adam is going to stop by and attempt to clarify his delusions of grandeur, dominance, and defeatism. He’s very complex. And, as you’ll soon find out, most of what he has to say comes out of his ass, but man, is he angry! And I’m not talking the kind of angry that can be aptly expressed with all caps and exclamation marks, or even simple declarations of anger… you’ll have to use your imagination a little. Picture the bright red face. Picture the popping veins. Picture the holes in the wall, the shattered remotes, the hospitalized “friends”. Now, multiply it by 386. That gets you halfway there. But here, we’ll let him explain it…

Hello everyone.  Allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Mad Adam.  That’s right, not Mad Hatter (Les Miles), Mad Max (Mel Gibson) or Mad Men (those booze swilling cats at Sterling Cooper).  No, just Mad Adam.

Why Mad Adam?  First, I have an anger control problem. This is particularly true when it comes to my sports teams.  I get mad when they let me down.  I get mad when they get screwed over.  I sometimes get mad even when things are going well. What can I say….I’m Mad Adam.  As a bonus, my name is a palindrome.  Don’t know that is? Look it up loser.  And while you are at it, send some hate mail to your language teachers who obviously let you down.

Now that I have revealed that much of my anger is centered on my favorite teams, I better let you in on who those teams are.  Warning, I grew up as a military brat, so I never stayed in a place long enough to pick a team based on geography.  So, I have a pretty disparate set of favorite teams (with the exception of my college team which is clearly a result of the totally awesome education I received at the undergraduate and law schools of the institution listed below).  So, in no particular order, here are the teams that matter most to me: New York Jets (last Super Bowl….1969, the roots of my anger begin to surface); Los Angeles Dodgers; Los Angeles Lakers; Manchester City Citizens (EPL soccer you morons); and of course, my beloved OU Sooners.  Looking for a hockey team?  Go (ice) fish.  Not a fun game to watch on TV.

My proclivity for temper tantrums does not end with my favorite teams.  I also get mad about betting on sports (i.e. placing bad bets, not the act of betting on sports which I am very much in favor of), bad calls, terrible commentators, incomprehensible TV twists, bad uniforms, those who don’t appreciate good music, politics, stupid fans, silly traditions, inane rules….you get the idea.  I am Mad Adam.

The gracious, yet logic deficient Ed Honcho, has asked that I occasionally drop by this site and let all of you know what I am currently mad about.  I appreciate the forum and the opportunity to vent.  I would be remiss if I did not kick things off with a mailbag devoted to my legions of fans and their questions.  So, without further ado, away we go…..

Q: Did you see the Patriots throw a deep pass with only 30 seconds to go this past weekend when they were up 31 – 14 on the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets? How did that make you feel? Cuz, I will tell you how it made me feel.  It made me feel like punching Tom Brady in his pretty face and defecating on Bill Belichik’s car.

- Francis Anastasio, Elizabeth, New Jersey

A: Francis, or can I call you Frank? No? OK. Francis, you could not be more right (except the part about shitting on his car, which is a tad bit weird). Not since Michael Bay decided to have “ghetto” robots in the newest Transformers movie have I seen such a brash and uncalled for decision.

What is he hoping to accomplish?  By kicking the Jets when they are down, does he hope to draw attention away from the most colossal coaching mistake in his career from the week prior against the Colts? By allowing a long pass to Randy Moss did he hope to show that Moss does in fact own Darrelle Revis? (if so, too bad, because Moss turned in a pedestrian 5 catches for 34 yards against my boy Revis).

Or is this just one more bully move by a guy that thinks he is God, but is in fact still the same a-hole that could not turn around the Browns and WHO WALKED OUT ON THE JETS IN 1999 A DAY AFTER TAKING THE HEAD COACHING JOB? What a loser. I HATE that guy. And, I really hate those spy-gate cheating, pretty boy Pats(ies).

Q: How are you feeling about the Lakers so far?

- Bonita Benson, Culver City, California

A: In a word….AWESOME.  So far, Khlomar has not been a distraction.  The return of Gasol has transformed the team.  Ron Artest is playing within the system and has not punched Nicholson in the face on his way down the court yet. And Kobe? Well, he is busy doing work.

Since the Lakers’ Western Conference coronation is all but assured, let’s turn to the more important issue.  Will those turd burgers from Boston make an appearance and get the whupping they deserved two years ago? As of this writing they are 10-4, and look pretty good (for a team in puke green adorned with a picture of a leprechaun sporting a vest, hat and bow-tie covered in freaking shamrocks).  I don’t want another beat-down on Orlando.  I want Ray Allen, Paul Pierce and “look at me I am yelling a lot, I must be really intense” Kevin Garnett to face the music like they did in 1985 and 1987 when Magic and crew beat Bird and his brigade of losers (like Kevin “the Armpits” McHale and Robert “Reefer” Parrish). SCREW THE CELTICS!

Q: When are you going to talk about the Sooners? Texas Tech destroyed Stoops and company and the crowd turned the House of Pain “Jump Around” into an anti-Sooner anthem.  And, don’t forget Capel’s b-ball team that got rocked by the VCU Rams, his former team.  Seriously, did you jump off a cliff this weekend?

- Rusty Jackson, Texhoma, Texas

A: I am typing out this response from the rather large ravine that I did indeed toss myself into after the collective DUMP THAT OU TOOK ON ME THIS WEEKEND.  This is the kind of showing that makes you want to give up sports.

That raises the issue.  Is it possible to really give up on your favorite team?  I say no.  The first time I ever tried to do it was when I was 8 years old and the Dodgers were on a serious losing streak. I declared that I was no longer a fan of Dodger blue and tried to become a Cincinnati Reds fan.  However, each morning when I would look through the box scores in the local paper I found my gaze straying from the Reds to find out what the Dodgers had done the night before. The reason?  If you are a true fan, you can NEVER give up on your team.  Even when they TEAR OUT YOUR HEART, LIKE OU DID TO ME THIS WEEKEND.

Did I kinda avoid answering your questions Rusty? You bet. Stay tuned, though, because if those goat loving, tobacco chewing troglodytes from Stillwater win Bedlam this weekend, then I may have to dedicate an entire column to how FREAKING BAD THIS OU FOOTBALL SEASON HAS REALLY BEEN.

Q: So, how about Les Miles and his clock management skills?

- Earl Papadeaux, Natchez, Louisiana

A: Oh, how I detest Les Miles.  What an overrated, egotistical, arrogant insipid little man crowned with an ill-fitting hat. How many times must he do something like this before Tiger Nation rises up and says enough is enough.  The LSU school newspaper, “The Daily Reveille” is calling for the firing of offensive coordinator Gary Crowton over this debacle.

First, “The Daily Reveille,” really? I had to look up “reveille” to even know what the students there are referencing.  It is a bugle call associated with the military.  So, the newspaper is a daily bugle call.   Whatever.

Second, firing the offensive coordinator is completely missing the point.  Did anyone see Les Miles’ patented “deer in headlights” look as the precious seconds ticked away in the game against Ole Miss? He was befuddled, bamboozled and flummoxed all at the same time. This man could not coach his way out of a paper bag when decisions that are tougher than what to eat after the game are on the line.  Speaking of food…

Q: Don’t you think that Mark Mangino is just mean, mean, mean!

- Dolores Bitterbottom, Mulberry, Kansas

A: Look, I have had my share of crude talking insensitive coaches.  Heck, it is really part of the job description as far as I can tell.  Reminds me of a funny story.  Ed Honcho and I used to have a baseball coach that referred to him as “Colonel Sanders” because he was too “chicken” to get down on the ball when fielding grounders in practice.  That was funny. What Mangino (allegedly) has been doing?  Not cool.

When a college student confides in a coach about his alcoholic father, that should remain between him and the coach. Same thing with a player that tells coach about his brother getting shot in the neighborhood he grew up in .  To use that information against the players is the sign of a man that has lost touch with reality.  He is not breaking players down and then building them up.  He is just breaking them.

While we are on the subject, I am wondering if any Jayhawk ever gave it back to the coach? In case they have not, and current Jayhawks are looking for some ideas, here is my humble proposal for a dialogue with Mangino:

Mangino – “Hey, stop loafing WR!  You keep that up and you will wind up on welfare and turning tricks in an alley for crack cocaine like that story about your mom you shared with me in a closed door meeting the other day.”

WR – “Hey Coach.  Here’s a thought.  Maybe you should drop your daily caloric intake by, I don’t know, maybe 40,000 calories.  Seriously, do you really need that entire rack of ribs to go with your 22 ounce steak, double cheese-burger and fried okra covered in brown gravy?  I’m just looking out for you.  Well, I am also looking out for the players that keep getting hit by one of your 17 chins when you move suddenly on the sideline.”

Q: How about Jimmy Clausen getting cold-cocked by an angry Irish fan at local bar?

- Gaye Barr, Elkhart, Indiana

A: This had to be the first time anything associated with the Irish was on target this whole season.  My only question is why not track down and punch Charlie Weis?  The guy is pushing 3 bills and his knees are shot.  There is no way he could get away quickly enough to avoid a total pummeling. (please note that Mad Adam, while prone to fits of anger, does not condone nor promote violence against athletes and/or coaches….you know, unless they really deserve it).

Q: As an unabashed fan of front-running, big money teams like the Lakers and Sooners, is it any surprise that you’ve recently declared yourself a Manchester City fan? And even though you’ll do your best to spin the answer, it’s mostly rhetorical, as the indisputable answer is “no.”

- Ed Honcho, Sunbathing on the French Riviera

A: Nice try Ed.  You are clearly trying to bait me into a fit of rage.  However, unlike Tila Tequila, I am not that easy.  You see, what you are failing to tell our readers is that it is “undisputable” that I became a fan of the Blues prior to September 2008 when Man City was purchased by the Abu Dhabi United Group, making it the wealthiest club in the world.

Which means that I became a fan of Man City, a team that has not won silverware since 1976, before this fortuitous twist transformed them into the Champions League chasing team they are today.  So, SUCK IT ED.  Seriously.

Q: Is it true that you’ve been in the same fantasy football league for almost 20 years and never won?

- Bjorn Bjornssen, Hammerfest, Norway

A: Bjorn, now I am starting to get pissed.  Your “source” is mistaken.  Allow me to provide you a history lesson. Yes, I have been in the same fantasy football league since 1988.  In fact, Ed Honcho, myself and friends may have indeed invented fantasy football.

No, it is NOT true that I have failed to ever be crowned champion.  My team has a long and storied history.  I consistently make the playoffs, and I have been in not one, not two, but THREE championship games.  Several years ago Ed Honcho and I squared off in the championship game.  The game ended in a tie according to an on-line fantasy sports site that will not be named.  Incredibly, after nearly two decades of fantasy sports our collective group had never devised a tie-breaker scenario.  So, we declared a tie and the championship was split between Mad Adam and Ed Honcho.

Now things get interesting.  Approximately 6 months later, one of our friends and fellow fantasy owner, we will call him “ass-wipe,” decided to peruse the web-site because he had nothing better to do.  He was surprised to see that the CRAPPY, STUPID AND PROFESSIONALLY NEGLIGENT web-site that shall not be named had changed the score for Jeff Garcia (my starting QB at the time) by one measly STUPID point.  Ass-wipe decides to share this information with the league.  The result? Years of bickering and a COMPLETELY FALSE AND WHOLLY UNSUBSTANTIATED CLAIM of an undisputed and sole championship by Ed.

Many of you may ask, and rightly so, how in the world can you change the score of a fantasy sports championship MONTHS after the fact?  Isn’t that like tuning in for the Super Bowl and watching the Pats lose to the Giants, only to find out the following summer that the NFL had changed its mind and declared that the David Tyree “helmet catch” was an incompletion and the Pats actually won?  Good point.  And Bjorn, you no fantasy knowledge having dude from Hammerfest, did you stop to ask what would have happened if we applied the tie-breaking rules we have today?  No? Well, let me tell you what would have happened. I WOULD HAVE WON.  And, what would have happened if we played the next week (since we tabulated the points just to see)?….wait for it….that’s right….. I WOULD HAVE WON.

Dammit.  Now my blood pressure is though the roof.  Bjorn, I am sure you can see from the foregoing synopsis that in fact I DID WIN A FREAKING CHAMPIONSHIP.  And, if you don’t agree with me then you CAN JUST ENJOY YOUR CITY WHICH REEKS OF REINDEER MANURE.  That’s right, I said it.

Q: Why so angry? Childhood trauma? Life stacked against you? What?

- Adolfo Ocampo, Ushuaia, Argentina

A: As I am sure you can see from the questions posed by some ingrates above, as well as the other stupid topics that got me riled up, there are plenty of reasons I am angry.  SO, STICK YOUR POP PSYCHOLOGY UP YOUR ASS ADOLFO.  I will be sure to call if I ever need your attention.  Don’t hold your breath in the meantime.

Thank you loyal readers.  Until next time, keep watching sports and DON’T PISS ME OFF!!!

VOTED THE NEW KING OF CONDOMS!

COCKSOXXCONDOMS ALLOWS CUSTOMERS TO CHOOSE

WHAT BRAND OF CONDOMS THEY WOULD LIKE IN THEIR

CONDOM PACKS THAT CONTAIN AFREE ADULT DVD 9 NAMEBRAND CONDOMS

AND LUBE!……FOR ONLY 9.99…OMG!

WWW.COCKSOXXCONDOMS.COM

Le Parker Meridien Palm Springs, opened in 1959 as one of California’s first Holiday Inns. In the 1960’s, Gene Autry purchased it and added five more buildings. Merv Griffin took over in the 1980’s, transforming the property into the Givenchy Resort and Spa—where cops busted Robert Downey, Jr., in room 311. In 2004, Jonathan Adler performed a $25 million make over that brought the hotel’s sixties roots out and added some playfulness to it.

At our table and playing with our penlights I ask our waitress what drinks she might recommend. I request a Manhattan and my girlfriend goes for their signature Pomegranate Martini.

The Manhattan – going for something classic since we are in the proper dark wood and leather dining atmosphere, and what the fuck, it is Palm Springs. Kind of a what would Don Draper, Dean Martin order moment. Not only is the Manhattan a classic made famous by the Rat Pack, it also a perfect drink for a bartender to exhibit their skill. It is a drink that allows for endless variation and creativity. The standard Manhattan is made with whiskey, vermouth and bitters. I order mine with Maker’s Mark and let the bartender decide the rest as the waitress claims it is their specialty.

The cocktail arrives in a martini glass. Never cared for Manhattans in a cocktail glass as I prefer them in an old-fashioned, especially if they are on the rocks. In this case it is probably better that it is in the martini glass as it was shaken in ice but strained out. This way the warmth of the hand doesn’t ruin the drink. The glass is chilled and the drink has a slight slushiness to it. It is has a bit of ruby color to it so it might have some port or cherry juice in it. After a taste, it must be cherry juice. It is slightly sweeter than the average Manhattan but not in Cosmo territory. The Maker’s Mark shines through with a nice coating after the initial sweetness of the drink. All in all a perfect drink and great start to the evening. Would have loved to have had this king of cocktails at the bar but the restaurant ambience is well suited that it doesn’t matter. The night is young and the drink is an excellent start to the blog. A true drinking man’s cocktail. Cheers!

So Donny took it — mirror ball and all! He’s the Dancing With The Stars champ and was said to be “numb”, while Mya, about whom they said the trophy “was hers to lose” on account of her “astonishing dance scores” was reportedly “disappointed”.  Well bravo,  Donny, and my guess is Mya — especially given her stellar work on the dance floor this year — will have many happy days (and performances to come).  Same with Kelly O., who still has the vote (and adoration) of millions.  Now…let’s move into some holiday fare.  With Thanksgiving upon us, everyone’s probably going to be spending lots of time at the table or in front of the TV.  And so now let’s take a trip over to the basic cable realm, where fans of USA’s Burn Notice have good reason to be delighted — the show, starring Jeffrey Donovan and Gabrielle Anwar, has  been picked up for a fourth season.  Which got me thinking about basic cable in general, and how much good stuff is seemingly right under our noses.  And while we spend a great deal of time talking about the premium cable shows like Weeds, Dexter, Nurse Jackie, Entourage, Big Love, Californication etc…today I’d love to know where you all weigh in on some of  basic cable’s original series. Now since there are several of them that people love, I’m just going to throw out a few shows to see how everyone feels about that netherworld between networks and cable. You’ll notice I’m leaving out Breaking Bad, Monk White Collar and others — but that’s just because we’ll be talking about them next week.  So here goes…voice your choice in today’s featured poll and tell us which of these cable original series is your favorite? (and while you’re at it, have a fantastic Thanksgiving!)

1) Mad Men

2) Burn Notice

3) Damages

4) The Closer

Warning: season 3 Mad Men spoilers ahead

I find my reaction to the relationship between Don and Betty Draper challenging. He lies to her, spends little time with her, is a serial philanderer and is barely engaged with her life, feelings or problems. She, on the other hand, looks after their children, is bored and trapped at home, and has a chaste romance, which leads her to find a way out of her suffocating marriage and life. And yet, and yet, it is Don with whom I sympathise and Betty who frustrates me. It is a point of identification that confuses me a little, so I thought I might try and think it through.

There is something about Betty which is so distancing, so lacking in empathy. It makes me wonder whether what Henry Francis (perhaps like Don before him) sees some sort of ideal notion of womanhood, rather than an actual person. With her amazing, Grace Kelly beauty and her perfect poise, she seems to fit that late Fifties/early Sixties notion of womanhood – the beautiful homemaker.  Henry, we must remember, hardly knows Betty at all, and yet he has determined that he wants to marry her. However, she seems to be without any really love or affection or even interest or care for anyone else. The way she treats her children, the general annoyance with the world around her, makes us feels that she lives in a state of perpetual disdain. As Don drunkenly implies in the final episode, she does see herself as too good for everyone. While realising that some of this froideur is defensive, is a reaction to the lack of emotional intimacy that she receives from Don, I think for me, that it presents a barrier to the kind of identification needed to empathise with a character.

And then there is Don. I’m not on Don’s side in every situation. When he tells Peggy she doesn’t deserve a raise and demands that she comes to the new agency, I can side firmly with Peggy. But when it comes to his relationship with Betty, I seem to find myself on his side. The manner in which he treats her really demands that my sympathy should be with Betty. He is completely emotionally remote in the way he relates to her, yet clearly he is full of emotions. The emotional remoteness is most likely a defence as well, a result of the emotional battering of his childhood-as Betty’s is from the disappointment of her life-or a product of the conception of masculinity that was prevalent at the time. the notion that two people could marry, when they can barely communicate is such a weird idea for me, and yet I imagine that it does characterise a lot of relationships. His attempts to feel, to connect occur through his infidelities, and perhaps this is what make them more understandable or forgivable.

Maybe it is the fact that we see Don’s backstory and understand where he has come from and what has shaped him in a way we don’t with Betty which assists in this identification. But it doesn’t change the fact that I find myself on Don’s side, especially in season three, when I know that I should be more sympathetic and understanding of Betty. I find myself regretting that she wants to divorce him, even though I know that if she was my friend, I would have been advising her for ages to get out.

These reactions demonstrate the power of the acting and writing in Mad Men and why, having watched 3 seasons this year, I cannot believe I have to wait for months and months before seeing what happens next.

Palm Springs, 2009

I couldn’t think of a more perfect place to start a blog on drinking than while having a Manhattan at the Parker Meridien bar in Palm Springs. Palm Springs defined the golden era of West Coast benders from the 1950’s through to the 80’s. Sinatra and the Rat Pack were regulars in the modernist town and practically every hotel from the period mentions, that they drank there. Palm Springs is still the weekend getaway of choice for Angelenos, Hollywood starlets and the SoCal gay community. Mix this crowd with some desert 50’s modernist architecture and a new spin on the sixties style Mad Men design and you have the makings for a great a weekend. Just add alcohol.

We head for dinner at Mr. Parker’s in the Meridien, making sure to get there early so we can have a pre-dinner cocktail. Only valet parking, so we pull up and immediately are immersed into the episode of Mad Men when they come out to LA.

The bar is appropriately opposite the check in desk of the hotel, absolutely brilliant! What better place for a hotel bar than right where you check in? Start the vacation off right. Head straight for the bar but it is jammed with a significantly over dressed crowd. Turns out they are not overdressed but are here for a wedding. No way we are getting to the bar before our reservation. Instead, we decide to head to our table early and order a drink there while looking over the menu. We are seated at a dark table in the back where my girlfriend sits against the wall, framed by a Spanish style painting of a woman with the most perfect breast and on the other side a painting of a woman’s disproportionately long legs and perfect ass. We are handed our menus and pen lights that remind me of my grandfather who used to carry one, not sure why. Probably because he drank in a lot of dark places too.

There are three phases to my gratitude for the lovely Alison Brie.

1) As Trudy Campbell on Mad Men, she first caught my attention.  Playing a put-upon cuckquean, she somehow reminded me of a real-life Disney Princess that realized wishing gets you nowhere.  And oh how I wish to meet her! she was on Saturday Night Live instead of co-star January Jones!

His disregard for her feelings makes me a mad man!

2) As Annie Adderall Edison on Community, she wriggled further into public awareness in a more notable role.  And she’s also proved she’s funny.  And funny goes a lot further in the cute department, of which she’s the manager.

Will she end up with Troy, Jeff, or the entire Community?!?

3) And of course, there’s always this case study in stunning black and white…

Susan R. Opel

Remember Grandma’s kitchen on Thanksgiving Day? She was the hostess with the mostest, and she had everything covered – even her best dress – with a frilly and functional apron.

Aprons are pretty hip these days, appearing in stylish TV shows like Mad Men and all over Etsy and Anthropologie. I think that’s why this card from Paper Crafts Go-to Gal  Kim Kesti that appeared on the cover of Card Creations, Volume 7 tugged at all of our hearts and made us ooh and ahh.

Apron Strings Card by Kim Kesti

Perhaps the trend of cute aprons coupled with Kim Kesti’s apron card inspired reader Winter Sims to create this utterly adorable card. And how appropriate! This card would be a perfect thank you for a gracious hostess on Thanksgiving Day, don’t you think?

For a Gracious Hostess Card by Winter Sims

Winter submitted her card online in response to this call:

Have you ever browsed through a Paper Crafts magazine or special issue and created a card or project inspired by one of the designs you saw in the publication? We want to hear your story and see your creation! Maybe you took the design of a birthday card and made it into a Valentine, or maybe you switched up the colors to take a Mother’s Day card to a Father’s Day card. Submit an image of your Inspired By project, tell us where we can find the original in our magazine, and you just might have your card featured in the Paper Crafts Connection section of one of our issues!

Now it’s your turn… Whip up a birthday or thank you card based on any card that you’ve seen in the pages of one of our many publications. Then, upload your card to your blog or in our Inspired By Flickr group. Be sure to tell us in what issue and on what page we can find the inspiration project. Next, use the Mr. Linky feature below to share your project with us and our readers!

You’ll have until Monday, December 7^th, at 9 am MST to add your Mr. Linky link. Three winners will be chosen and announced later that week. The three winning cards will appear on the blog, and each winner will receive a free subscription to Paper Crafts magazine or special issue of their choice!

Make sure to take it one step further. Submit that card to us! Any time you create a project based on one you see in our magazine, submit it online here in the Inspired By section. You just might have your card featured in the Paper Crafts Connection department in our magazine. 

Let the submitting begin!
Susan

P.S. Speaking of submitting, we have a very exciting submissions call for Card Creations 8. Get creating and submit your ultimate in wowie-wow, never before seen, most amazing cards EVER.

For my 30th, I had a Mad Men themed party. It’s possibly my favourite show ever, which is a big call, but there hasn’t been a show that before that I’ve really obsessed so much over. Sure, I’ve enjoyed many shows in the past but not like this one.

I based my look on Don and had actually ordered a suit from TopMan about two weeks before the party, thinking that would be plenty of time for it to arrive. On the Friday, the day before the party,  the suit had yet to arrive. I started to get worried that I’d have nothing to wear at my own party, so I ventured out to Roger David to see what they might be able to offer. I bought a black suit that I had to have altered as the pants were too long. On the Saturday, shortly after picking the tailored pants, a white courier van pulled up out the front. ‘No way!’ I thought, but surely enough, my TopMan suit arrived. I’m pretty glad that it did, it’s a great suit and definitely fitted in more with the Mad Men vibe than the Roger David suit.

More pictures after the jump…

My girlfriend pretty much organised everything,  it was such a great night. I’m pretty sure she has a future career in party planning.

Jane and Betty

Thanks to everyone who came!

A lots been happening around here and I haven’t had the time to share.

Well I have to be honest, I have had the time, but I’m having a bit of a love affair with these people…

Have you met them yet? The cast of Mad Men.

My girlfriend gave me Season 1 & 2 on DVD for my birthday and I’m obsessed. So a lot of my free time has been consumed with watching this fabulous show.

But I have found time to take pictures of what Ethan likes to do.

He likes to watch Brett mow the lawn from our front window.

He likes to eat cake.

He likes to go from screaming to happy in just seconds.

More fun pics to come very, very soon. But I think I might end for the night and watch me some Mad Men.

Mad Men marathon calls. Blog suffers. Sorry!

Here’s Bat Man to make up for things…

This week it’s typical for people to express thankfulness for their family, friends, jobs, and health. And I’m very, very grateful for each of those things. But this year I’m also counting the smaller blessings that make life a bit easier or a lot more fun. James reminds us that “every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

So thanks, God, for…..

….waffles

….the first glimpse of a new plant sprouting above the dirt

….old books bound in cloth

….Mad Men and The Office and Glee

….hair dye

….iPods

….the smell of sawdust, permanent markers and gasoline (am I the only one who loves these?)

….pasta. Okay, all carbs.

….blog comments that make me think or make me smile

….rain

….massages

….laughing with old friends

….Pomeranian puppies

….antique stores

….sleeping with the windows open

….hot water bottles

….losing two pounds without trying

….babies with sumo-wrestler-chubby legs

….the first cup of coffee in the morning

….receving an actual letter in the mail

….Sesame Street 1976-1983

….the old Electric Light parade at Disneyland

….that “just one more chapter” feeling when reading a great book

….hitting send to deliver a huge completed project

….endorphins after a workout

….old cathedrals

….Van Gogh paintings

….drifting off to sleep

….the color green

….the grey tshirt I’ve had since 1993

….the Charlie Brown Christmas special

….peonies

….beans and rice and tacos and guacamole and diet coke

….dusk

….Sunday afternoons

….singing difficult music with a good choir

….the diamond ring my grandma left me

….making lists