It’s not often that salesmen make their pitches towards testosterone driven young males’, et hem, “inner female”.

This year, the heavy stakes of supply side economics decided that using “the N word” was the way to get the punters hooked – Nostalgia.

Yup, after decades of scantily clad supermodels rolling around on the hoods of over sized cars, Madison Ave took a 360, and shot their arrows at that part of men which secretly welled-up and then hid behind the popcorn bucket when Carrie got jilted by Big.

The Terminator may be ruling TinselTown with an iron fist, but in these tough times, Alan Alda buys things.

It’s really challenging to take a good photograph Calvin Klein’s new Madison Ave. window displays, so this visual coming to you courtesy of Racked NY :

The windows, featuring images of model David Abodji (indeed!), is right around the corner from the venerable Metropolitan Club, where gentlemen are required to wear a jacket and tie. But that shot from the campaign is downtown Calvin Klein’s (in)famous Houston Street billboard.

Among other quite obvious reasons, the images are arresting for their sheer scale. The question: will what works in SoHo fly on Madison Ave.?

An elderly jewelry store worker was shot dead this afternoon by a well-dressed gunman in a brazen Upper East Side stickup on tony Madison Avenue, police said.

The tall, thin suspect fled with an undetermined amount of jewelry moments after the lunchtime shooting and is still being sought, with police searching in nearby subway stations as well as Central Park.

The shooting took place just before 12:30 p.m. at R.S. Durant on Madison Ave. near E. 76th St., down the block from the Whitney Museum and across the street from expensive shoe store Christian Louboutin.

Police said the suspect — dressed in a blue overcoat, grey slacks and a scarf — entered the store and announced a robbery to the victim and a co-worker.

Then, possibly because the workers were slow to comply, the suspect fired once from his semi-automatic pistol and struck the victim once in the chest, police said.

“I heard the ambulance and I walked outside,” said Patricia Wang, who works at Alexandre, a nearby accessories store.

“He was on the floor, people were giving him CPR. “I saw blood on his shoulder. “His face was really pale and yellow.”

The victim, believed to be 71 or 72 years old a resident of Long Branch, N. J., was rushed to Lenox Hill Hospital and died a short time later.

The suspect was described as a black man, about 30 years old. Police said he is about 5 feet 10 inches tall and 150 pounds.

-”The BklynBandette.” Mr. Hollywood’s Co-Defendant.

[ from addair who is listening to The Beatles (White Album) ]

what i can do. acrylic and ink on wood. detail.

Levon found a book in a trash pile on Madison Ave of Harlem (the beneficial aspect to the NYC custom of garbage removal via sidewalk littering) and brought it home to me.  

I’ve learned to adopt this library collection philosophy.  I use to hem and haw about bringing a found book home.  With all the moving around we do,  I’m keen to remember the heft of a box full of books and the monotony of traveling and keeping stuff.   These practical concerns battled the amorous sensations that any bibliophile understands. 

what i can do. detail.

But  Levon taught me that with all the possible book encounters in the world, when a special book catches my eye and crosses my path, it’s probably worth following fate and taking it home to read.

Thanks to Levon and an anonymous resident on Madison Ave, I am now reading Nothing If Not Critical by Robert Hughes, a collection of essays  on art and artists.  

what i can do. detail.

 He reviews shows from artist with florid seals of validation from the art world.  This plunge into “the scene” and it’s commerce  jolts me from my mindscape of ideals, personal priorities and fervor for color  into disillusionment. 

The book is raking over emotional land that is already volatile with insecurity.  Lately, I’ve felt harassed by the weight of corruption, meaningless fads, the necessary death in progress and the empty promises of history.

what i can do. detail.

But I’m saved from total despondency.  I like this quote I found on a friend’s (Amy Haag)  Facebook page “  …and may God bless us with enough foolishness to believe that we can make a difference in this world, so that we can do what others claim cannot be done.”  I’m assuming she wrote it.

what i can do. full view.

I’ve resolved that I will push for this.  To be awake and straining for the infantile possibility of real and lasting good.   Maybe we’re doomed;  but if I can give relief or bring sweetness or create beauty or stand in authenticity than why shouldn’t I?  The significance and durability of these actions isn’t likely to be known to me in my lifetime, and my efforts will be plauged with impurity but it is the best that I can manage.  To be awake and to share my awakening.

And when a book presents itself to me I will read it.

My mom has tried to coordinate breakfast with me at Cafe Madison for a few years.

One of the main problems I have with Albany is that there are a multitude of great destinations, but with too much distance between each.  Of course, Albany has the Lark Street end of Washington Park (with Daily Grind, Bombers, El Loco, Magnolias, to name a few), but I’m not comfortable walking more than a few blocks down Madison, Western, Washington, or Central Avenues.  That reminds me, I need to visit Bomber’s new location in Schenectady…

Having said all of that, Albany has wonderful restaurants and, after my experience this morning, Cafe Madison is definitely on my list.  We arrived around 10am, the downstairs was half-full, and we were seated within a few minutes.  Downstairs, there is a bar that runs the length of the room, a few tables in the front, and two-person booths along the other side.  There is also a small area upstairs with tables for larger groups.  The room has a warm atmosphere and seems to effortlessly combine the coziness of a coffeehouse with a slight trendiness.  Our waitress was friendly, efficient, and had a genuinely cheery disposition.  I had forgotten how those characteristics (and particularly the latter) should be typical of servers, but today was a nice reminder that there are still a few.

My mom knew she was ordering the oatmeal raspberry pancakes before we sat down.  I decided on buttermilk pancakes with blueberries and a hot chocolate.  The hot chocolate was what I’d expect for a standard breakfast cafe — hot chocolate mix with canned whipped cream — although it was a perfect temperature!

The oatmeal raspberry pancakes were delicious.  Slightly more dense and less crumbly than flour pancakes, the oatmeal created a consistency that was surprisingly pleasant.  The combined flavors of oatmeal and tangy, sweet raspberries made think of a dessert-like meal appropriate for breakfast (minus any guilt!).  They are heavy, though, so next time I’ll probably order two pancakes (instead of three) and a side of fruit.

The blueberry pancakes were cooked perfectly — very lightly crisped on the outside and soft on the inside — and were a medium thickness.  The blueberries, folded into the batter, were plump and fresh.  My one critique for the pancakes was that they could have had more blueberries, but regardless, the taste was delicious.

Leaving around 11:30, the downstairs was completely full for and the upstairs was steadily gaining groups of three and four people (including a few trios of two adults and a child).  The Cafe is open every day of the week for lunch (breakfast and lunch are on the same menu) and dinner.  Menus can be found on their website.  The dinner menu and drink selections are all very tempting, so I hope to visit again in the evening.

Our total (for a hot chocolate, three oatmeal raspberry pancakes, and three blueberry buttermilk pancakes) was just over $15.

Leggendo  ”I miti di Madison Ave” ho trovato due frasi di Alfred Politz (p. 85-86 )che mi hanno fatto riflettere sui Social Network e sul cambiamento della comunicazione in atto:

1- La comunicazione stimola le vendite di un prodotto buono mentre accelera la scomparsa dei prodotti di qualità scarsa. Affermare il beneficio che il prodotto non possiede non che aumentare la frequenza con cui il consumatore rileva l’inganno;

2- Una campagna che mette in evidenza un vantaggio inconsistente, che il consumatore non può riscontrare, in pratica non fa che accelerare la scomparsa del prodotto dal mercato. Una campagna cos’, ancora una volta, non fa che aumentare la possibilità che il consumatore ha di scoprire l’inganno del prodotto

Cosa fanno i SN? Aumentano la conversazione e la diffusione dei contenuti. Una mancata promessa, un vantaggio inconsistente non si limita al singolo utente, ma ricade immediatamente anche su tutti i suoi contatti (su Facebook ci sono al momento più di 12 milioni di italiani: in media ogni utente ha circa 124 “amici”).

I SN hanno quindi la capacità di accelerare il successo o la scomparsa di un prodotto. A questo aggiungiamo una gestione in alcuni casi naif della comunicazione aziendale sui SN, senza pensare che questa è uno strumento complesso da valutare attentamente  (come ben espresso dai 10 punti sul blog di Giovanna “10 cose che i SN non possono fare“)

Siete d’accordo?

WILD THINGS DAYS KICKED OFF IN NEW YORK TODAY WITH THE UNVEILING OF ORIGINAL DRAWINGS AND MANUSCRIPTS BY THE AUTHOR OF WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE.

By Dean Stattmann

When Maurice Sendak sat down in 1955 to put the final touches on his illustrated book, Where the Wild Horses Are, he completed but a framework for the story it would later become. Now, over a half-century later, with Sendak’s award-winning children’s book just days away from its international film debut, Where the Wild Things Are is about to enter the next stage of its evolution. To celebrate, The Morgan Library and Museum in New York City is hosting an exhibition of Sendak’s original illustrations and manuscripts to highlight the creative process that gave birth to the 1963 best-seller.

Beneath the lofty stained-glass and fresco-clad ceiling of The Morgan’s majestic East Room, surrounded by three-tiered antique bookshelves bearing historic titles by Charles Darwin and Mark Twain, art lovers and Wild Things fanatics alike converged this morning to browse early drafts and preliminary sketches from Maurice Sendak’s 1963 children’s book, Where the Wild Things Are in an exhibition entitled Where the Wild Things Are: Original Drawings by Maurice Sendak.

Where the Wild Things Are uses minimal prose and compelling illustrations to tell the story of Max, an imaginative young boy, who is sent to his bedroom without dinner and consequently creates a magical world filled with fantastic creatures, or Wild Things, by simply setting his imagination free.

Of the 15 artifacts put on display, three seemed to garner particular attention. The first, a drawing of Max sailing away from a ferocious sea monster, reveals Sendak’s process of developing his characters from early tracing paper sketches to the images found in the book today. Another piece, a pencil-drawn scene excluded from the final published version, shows Max, having discarded his utensils, tucking into a bowl of spaghetti, poised on all fours atop the dinner table. But perhaps the most insightful of all the items on display is a two-page excerpt from Sendak’s notebook, which reveals profound details about his artistic process.

“Not only do we see Sendak’s work, we see him giving instructions to himself,” says curator Christine Nelson. One page bears the ballpoint scribbles of a later Where The Wild Horses Are manuscript, with a note from the author, “Drop this story for time being – I’m forcing it and it won’t be forced.” On the adjacent page, after attempting the current title in verse form, Sendak simply writes, “ALL BAD.”

The exhibition, organized in cooperation with Philadelphia’s Rosenbach Museum and Library, the official home of Sendak’s artifacts, is part of Wild Things Days, a two-month-long, Philadelphia-based series of events, exhibitions and activities based around Sendak’s work. The exhibition at The Morgan is the only event to take place in New York and will remain open until the end of Wild Things Days on Nov. 1.

Image: Preliminary drawing of dust jacket for Where the Wild Things Are. Pen and ink, watercolor. Copyright Maurice Sendak, 1963. All rights reserved. Courtesy of The Morgan Library and Museum.

More information is coming out about the Creed store coming to New York City that I posted about on September 21. Turns out that Creed’s plan to launch it’s first store in North America doesn’t stop there. This first, new store, to be located at 794 Madison Avenue (corner of 67th Street), is a bit of a guinea pig. Upon it’s success, plans for two more U.S. stores will be carried out, possibly located in downtown Manhattan and Beverly Hills. And aggressive plans they are, with the Madison store to open in November, and the following two in the spring. Currently, the Paris based perfumer only has two locations, in Paris and Dubai. This big step forward is all about branding and reaching out to their international customers.

As I mentioned in my previous post, Creed is one of the oldest family businesses in the world and has had some of the most notable clients in its history, including royalty. For Creed’s 250th anniversary, which coincides with the planned opening of the New York store, the perfumer is releasing a commemorative fragrance from its archives. The 1936 creation, Windsor, will be available in limited edition leather wrapped, 1.7 oz. bottles for $405, and 8.4 oz. flacons numbered and signed by perfumer Olivier Creed, for $605. Windsor was originally created for the King Edward VIII (the Duke of Windsor), with ingredients from the British Empire. The worldly notes of Windsor consist of British gin, Jamaican lime, and Scottish highland pine top notes; a middle note of Duke of Windsor roses; and bottom notes of Bahamian orange, Canadian cedar, and Australian eucalyptus. Sounds like such a delectable scent, yet I would be still be hesitant to even open such a collectible item.

At the corner of Madison and 57th Street, there’s a Calder sculpture called “Saurien.” 590 Madison is big, gray, and reflective, so the sculpture adds a bright dash of color to the corner. Some think it’s out of place here, but I disagree. The space beneath the building’s dramatic cantilever needs something, and the contrast complements both the architecture and the sculpture.

Alexander Calder sculpture “Saurien” on the corner of 57th Street and Madison Avenue … 590 Madison Ave

Last night I met a lady who made my day. No, make that my month.

We were at the new Canturi store in New York for Fashion’s Night Out. Whilst sipping on champagne, I explained to the store manager that I make a breath freshener and proceeded to take a packet out of my bag. Moments later, Stefano Canturi’s publicist walks up and says “Oh i love that stuff! I have one in every bag I carry”. We begin talking and finally I boast “Actually, I make them”. The look on her face? Priceless.

“Oh my g-d, I feel like i’m meeting a celebrity. I love eatwhatever!!!”.

It was so much fun to hear how her ex-boyfriend stole packs out of her bag after she got him hooked on them too. It was about the best feedback I have ever had and I was simply thrilled.

So, thanks doll- you know who you are. You made a great night even better. And boys, if you haven’t checked out the new Canturi store on 66th street between Park and Madison, the ladies in your life are really missing out. You’ll love his stuff just as much as she does (just remember to bring your checkbook and be ready not to eat for a while).

I was rather partial to the black sapphire ring, by the way….

These are a few photos that I took of the street fair held on Madison Avenue after work, on 56th street down to 34th street…enjoy!

While more stores are shuttering their high-rent second or third-store locations on streets like Madison Ave., Hermés seems to keep chugging along.  The photo below is the luxury brand´s newest store opening soon on Madison at 62nd.  The shop will be four stories of purely men´s products ranging from belt buckles, to shearling coats, to cashmere socks.

(Swans – February 23, 2009) It was a cold, miserable, and dangerous journey dodging German U-boats across the Atlantic. On D-Day, Stasio, along with his platoon, landed at the Omaha beach and somehow survived the German eighty-eights. The first letter for him arrived towards the end of June. His mother had passed away pining for him.

Continue Reading

Hot Dog Stand, originally uploaded by Christine Bailey.

I’ve been waiting to get a picture of the hot dog cart guy – now I know that good weather is here to stay for a while! I walk by there a few times a day and it smells so good. It would have been better to get closer for the picture but then I’m always afraid someone will say “What the hell are you doing taking pictures??” And this is why I’m an amateur.

A reggeli géppel ugorjunk el NYC-be és szerezzünk egy masszív, nem túl hivalkodó, a tájba könnyen belesimuló járgányt.

Welcome to NYC

Ha  megvan, gondoljunk erősen bármelyik amerikai sorozatunkra és próbáljuk megtalálni a helyszíneket. Ha krimi párti az illető és szereti a kihívásokat, javaslom Harlem, vagy Bronx felkeresését. A túra könnyű, csak a gázt kell nyomogatni, azt viszont erősen és időben. A filmszerűséget növelheti, ha közben azt játsszuk, hogy statisztákat keresünk következő gangster filmünk forgatásához.

A JFK reptérről induljunk a Whitestone Bridge irányába, lehetőleg kis utakon. Ezzel elérjük, hogy a jamaicai negyeden áthaladva Harlembe érkeztünkkor már nem lepődünk meg semmin.

Beérve Manhattan 7. és 14. utca környékre, forduljunk északnak és autózzunk el a Central Park mellett. A 125. utca és Madison Ave. kereszteződést megcélozva lassan araszoljunk a híres sarok felé. Próbáljuk meg kivárni, hogy pont jöjjön a metro, vagy legyen egy kis rendőri intézkedés a magasvasút alatt.

Ha nagyon csendes az utca, akkor tetszőlegesen felhívhatjuk egy kiadó lakás telefonszámát és open-day keretében be is mehetünk a getto egy- egy épületébe.

Javasolt esős időben abszolválni a túrát, úgy a szürke szín Munkácsy színgazdagságát lepipálva vonultatik fel minden árnyalatban. Ha még belefér időnkbe, ugorjunk be a sarki Mc’Donaldsba egy tripla hamburgerre. (2,6 usd) A székek és asztalok lecsavarozva, ne égessük magunkat azzal, hogy odébb akarjuk húzni. Ha esetleg verekedés zajlik, akkor a drive-in részben kaphatuk enni, de az ablakot akkor sem ajánlott túlzottan kinyitni.

A délutáni géppel hazaindulva, másnap 11 órakor, kis késéssel, de rengeteg élménnyel gazdagodva beeshetünk munkahelyünkre.

A kalandhoz vizum nem szükséges. Visa kártya ajánlott.

Now for the perfect job, the franchisor:

1. Hijack a concept that sells (regardless of profit), create an alternative product with not a creative bone in your body or differentiator (other than price) to separate yourself from the leader.  Good models are Subway/Quiznos, Dunkin Donuts/Tim Hortons, Gold’s/Curves, Taco Bell/Taco Johns, McDonald’s/Burger King, Red Lobster/Long John Silvers, Dominos/Papa Johns, Midas/Meineke, Kinkos/UPS Store, Carvel/Baskin Robbins.
   
2. Find a big franchisor law firm that writes bullet-proof UFOCs/FDDs.  “Put in two CYA clauses for every claim your broker will make.”
   
3. Get a referral from your law firm for that less-than-respectable banker that can build a contract based on UCC and not common law.
4. Sell the concept to unsuspecting franchisees who are naive and in a place of vulnerability (immigrants mostly, displaced corporate America , mom and pop hopefuls) to finance your venture (mostly because anyone with a brain won’t touch such a business plan).
   
5. Then watch the money come in.  Schedule your 12 weeks of vacation per year, buy your VIP box at your favorite stadium and start shopping for yachts.  It’s only a matter of time until you have the cash flow to live like a king.
   
6. With some of that initial franchisee deal money, hire some bloke who can’t otherwise make it in the real world to be your marketing officer (sort of like Quiznos hired Steinfort, some young 30 something who’s only experience was in telecommunications!).
   
7. Introduce them to the other brilliant creative minds on Madison Ave. and the party will now begin!  All you have to do is attend dog-and-pony shows, make a decision and whatever you choose is paid for by the franchisee!
8. If you need more ad money, simply raise the rates on your ad royalties and make it retroactive to every FDD/UFOC (that confirms it’s coming out of the franchisee pockets of course). No one can object because if they do, you can pull their franchise!
   
9. Cut an ironclad kickback agreement with your vendors and dictate to each franchisee that they have to buy from that vendor.  If they refuse, threaten to pull their franchise and thus their livelihood.
   
10. Hire average salespeople (yes men) who will do exactly as you instruct them in coloring the truth just enough to the franchisees to get them to sign.  Those from the mortgage industry, timeshare sales, car sales and any other large ticket, one time products make great fits.  They’re used to instilling the confidence necessary to maket the sales and because it’s only one-time, they don’t have to worry about repeat sales.  Salespeople with integrity and honesty are considered bad prospects.
    
11. Spend all your time building your marketing programs to sell more franchises, letting the other stuff work itself out.  You don’t need rockstars for this, average blokes from the local community do just fine.  If you hire too much IQ, you suffer someone questioning your motives and the long term.  Remember, your job is to sell franchises, not worry about how they do as a business.  If they fail, you have the opportunity to sell another in the same region.  And because you the majority of your money on the initial sale, their success or failure is absolutely of no concern to you.

Stop by tomorrow to learn how to build your internal staff to accommodate your new high roller lifestyle.  We’ll teach you just what type of people can help you build your kingdom with the life savings of the naive who are seeking to survive.

Bloody

Quiznos wasn’t happy with giving away its franchisee’s money with the unannounced 1,000,000 free subs, they’ve now risen to an all new low by dropping the bar on sandwiches from $5 to $4.  So how did this come about?  Well, it starts with your young and less than knowledgeable (no clue on human nature, past historical ramifications of such actions) marketing person, Ms. Rebecca Steinfort:

“The reality is that we are a challenger brand,” Chief Marketing Officer Rebecca Steinfort said in an interview. “Our main competition is Subway, which is an 800-pound gorilla. We may be 200 pounds, but they’re 800.” – AdAge article by Emily Bryson York

Now who pays for the reduction in profits?  Why the franchisees of course!  Check out the next statement:

At Quiznos, marketing failed to drive traffic and closed stores. The chain now has about 4,500 locations worldwide, by Ms. Steinfort’s estimate. The company is private and does not disclose sales figures. – - AdAge article by Emily Bryson York

What a great job!  I can try and try and try until I get it right, because I don’t have to absorb the cost of my actions!  The franchisees take all the grief.  I get to sit in the VIP box at the Yankees games while those miserable blokes deliver sandwiches 24/7!  The franchisees are simply collateral damage.

Question for Ms Steinfort: If stores go out of business selling a $5.00 sub, then how many more will go out selling a $4 sub?  Let’s view Ms Steinfort’s experience/profile on LinkedIn:

When one scans education, it’s quite respectable (Princeton, Harvard Business), though still wet-behind-the ears on experience.  But look a little further and you see Ms Steinfort came from Level 3 Communications claiming a title of corporate strategy, and it’s labeled as (Restaurants Industry).  Folks, Level 3 is a telecommunications firm which barely survived the dotcom bust, the telecom meltdown (thanks to a billion dollar bailout by Warren Buffett).  IT’S NOT in the RESTAURANT BUSINESS.  Can you spell L-I-A-R?  Does this speak volumes as to how desperate Quiznos is and how no one will work for them who does have a brain?  Ms Steinfort has found a place to play with absolute immunity from prosecution!  Obviously, she couldn’t make it in the telecommunications market as Level 3’s stock topped out at $120.00 about the time Ms. Steinfort started, immediately dropped below $10 in a freefall, never to recover.  Today Level 3 is selling for a paltry $.95  (having realized a low of .76 the last 12 months).

So tell me people, wouldn’t you rather have someone selling your sandwiches whose background is in telecommunications?  And wouldn’t you rather it be someone who ran the previous company into the toilet (stock prices from $120.00 to $.016!)?  When is America going to wake up and realize that the franchisors and Madison Avenue are no different than Wall St., AIG or Bernie Madoff!  They’re the elite and you, main street America are the idiots falling for the ruse!  Prediction:  Quiznos will continue to be the “Sprint” of sub shops without any hope of being purchased (there’s only one Wal-Mart folks).  They will die a wikid slow death at the likes of boneheads like Ms. Steinfort and Mr. Schaden.

Bloody

Valentino, Madison Ave and East 65th
Valentino for Valentine’s? A Feb window.
Listen to: Mon Amour (DJ Gregory Remix), Little Louie Vega

Job hunting is such fun. Not.

I enter Reckless Records on Madison, ready to hand in my resume. They accept it. Mission accomplished. I suavely attempt to place my folder back into my empty backpack, and end up ripping some pages of my book (The World According to Garp, so far so good). Nice. Suave.

I trip on a snag of carpet upon exit, and try to open the door on my right, which I figure out is locked. Nice.

When I get back outside I try to get into my bag again, this time for my sunglasses. Only after battling the flaps of the messenger bag for clearance.

I’m pretty sure the employed at Reckless Records can see me. I just love first impressions.

With wallets tightenint and windows shuttering around the globe, luxury retailers are turning to new tactics to encourage would-be customers to buy buy buy. On Madison Avenue (NYC) of all places, the most exclusive designers stores seems to be embracing the everyman in hopes of selling products. I recently read about several instances of brands training and giving seminars about how to be friendlier and more welcoming.

MaxMara, for example, is teaching staff how to greet and engage customers so that anybody with a credit card will feel like a star. Eric Wilson from the International Herald Tribune tried an experiment to see how these seismic changes would really affect the daily shopping experience… “

Within 30 seconds of walking into Chanel’s fine jewelry store at 735 Madison Avenue, I had a $4,500 black ceramic J12 watch snapped onto my wrist and a cheerful salesman telling me he had just read a book that claimed men who wore big, chunky watches were often remembered by those who met them as being taller than they actually are. I had walked in wearing a digital watch that cost less than $3 (made by Acqua, if you’ll excuse my name-dropping), which was placed gingerly on a velvet tray.

At Emanuel Ungaro (792 Madison Avenue), I tried on a $3,000 salt-and-pepper tweed topcoat with side vents, interestingly enough, in the front. It looked silly, but the saleswoman offered to stitch up the vents, even though the coat was on sale at 60 percent off.

Walking though the Ralph Lauren mansion (867 Madison Avenue), I felt like a regular, encountering no fewer than 17 employees who said “Hello,” “Howareya?,” “Can I help?” on three floors.

At Prada (841 Madison Avenue), where years ago I was made to feel small for returning a belt that, paradoxically, would not fit around my waist, a patient salesman attended as I tried on eight styles of loafers in three different sizes, all of them too big in the heel.

After switching to lace-ups, the only pair that fit well looked like safety shoes. They cost $695. I told him I’d think about it. He couldn’t have been nicer, although I will point out that at John Lobb (680 Madison Avenue), the salesman actually got down on his knees to put my feet into a pair of $1,100 loafers.”

However, there was one bad apple among the group of test subjects… Gucci. t was almost shocking, then, to step into the Gucci store (840 Madison Avenue) and encounter a greeter who asked, in a sharp tone, “What are you looking for?” Upstairs, I thought I’d try on a $350 swimsuit — what the heck? — but stood stock-still in the middle of an empty room for a full five minutes before anyone appeared to offer assistance.

The swimsuit was cute, but unrealistic. As I left, another salesman approached and asked, “You still here?”

“I’m just looking.”

“Looking, looking, looking,” he said, wagging his head….

Funny clip here…