Do nothing!

That’s right…take some time off from your important, time-consuming work and don’t do anything.

Personally, this is hard for me to do.  I grew up with parents who were always on the go and I have close family members who feel they aren’t worthy if they’re not always doing something “productive.”  So I feel all that pressure myself.

However, I know if I don’t take time for myself, or as Richard would say, “Preserve Self”, I will not be effective in my work over the long haul.

I’m going to tell you that NOT taking time off for yourself is counter-productive and quite unhealthy.  I find this problem particularly in the non-profit arena.  I’m not exactly sure why it is so prevalent in our industry, but often I witness people putting in 60 hours a week and others who have literally months of vacation time stored away.

And they’re not storing it away for some long vacation to travel the world.  No, they just don’t use their vacation time.

If you are one of these people, Richard and I implore you to take some time off, give your brain a rest and decompress.  Hey, you don’t even need to go anywhere.  Just stay at home if finances are tight.  The point is, YOU need to rest.  And the world isn’t going to end if you are NOT in the office.

That’s right.  Nothing will blow up nor will anyone die.

Taking time off allows you to get perspective, become renewed and once again feel inspired to do the work that you do.  If we don’t rest well, we don’t work well.  Somehow we forget that and think that if we take some time to rest, something will go wrong or fall apart.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Now, sometimes this is not your fault.  I’ve seen non-profit cultures that actually foster the type of environment where they encourage employees to work all the time.  People are expected to stay late, and if they want to take time off, it’s almost as if they’re breaking some kind of unwritten law.

Do you have this kind of culture?

Managers can be a problem too.  I’ve known MGO’s who have a hard time asking their bosses for time off because they’ve had too many negative experiences in the past when the manager makes them feel bad for taking time away.

If you’re a manager who acts this way…please stop it now.  There is no positive outcome for doing this.

Look, you have a stressful job.  There are a ton of demands, deadlines and headaches that come with working with major donors.  And I know that if you are good, you love it.  But, (and I’m just going to say it) you can LOVE it too much.  Don’t be one of those people.

Understand that to be effective, you have to rest.  You have to let go and just be.  Yes, I know that is hard for you.  But, if you can make a practice of times to rest, you’ll be much healthier and happier in work and at home.

Now, take some time off!

Jeff

You have roughly six weeks left in your summer.  And since summer gives many of us the opportunity to do things a little differently than the rest of the year, why not try something a little different with your donors?

Here’s what I mean.  There is a lot of pressure on you during the year to cultivate your donors for some significant gifts.  Sometimes this can pressure you to think first about the money rather than the donor.  This especially happens during times of economic stress for your organization.

Well, before any of that starts to hit you, why not plan to spend some enjoyable times with a few donors?   With the remaining weeks left in the summer, commit to spending quality relational time with at least one of your donors each week.  These opportunities should be spent purely relationally.  No asking, no pressure, just getting to know the donor.

Here are some ideas:

1. Go to a ballgame—Yep, call a donor who loves baseball or soccer and take him out to watch a game.  Take his spouse too, if she would like to go.  I used to do this when I was a development officer for a non-profit in Philadelphia.  I cannot tell you how great a time it was to really get to know a donor.  Think about it…you have 2-4 hours of time spent doing one thing.  That’s an entire afternoon or evening to talk, laugh and bond.
2. Schedule a visit to one of your programs—Summer can be a great time to invite donors to see what is going on first-hand with your programs.  Whether you are doing something local or have programs overseas, this is a wonderful time to invite donors to see what you are doing and how you are making an impact.  If it’s something local, invite them out for dinner afterwards and get their impressions.
3. Attend a local cultural event—Take a donor to a museum, concert, play, or other cultural event in your area.  If you know the donor likes a certain type of artist or music you can tailor it perfectly to her tastes.  What a great way to show a donor you “know” her and really care about her interests.
4. Introduce your donors to one another—One of the great things you can do for your donors is to introduce them to other donors.  Of course you are taking great care in making sure they would have some interest in each other besides caring for your organization, but I’ve seen some amazing things when MGO’s can do this right.  Whether you invite them out for a backyard barbecue, a formal dinner or even a weekend getaway, bringing people together who have similar interests is a great way to get to know your donors in a deeper way.

I’m sure this list could go on and on, but the point is to commit to deepening the relationship with one donor per week for the rest of the summer…even if it’s only for iced coffee at your local coffee shop.

Quality time with your donors now will pay huge dividends with them later when they are ready to make an investment in your organization.

Jeff

One of the great things about our work in fundraising, and specifically major gifts, is that there is always something new to learn.  And summertime is the perfect opportunity to set aside time to do it.

Richard and I highly recommend taking time to participate in a high-quality industry conference or training.  Notice I said high quality, because, believe me, we’ve attended our share of bad conferences and fundraising trainings that were a complete waste of time.

I would recommend something from either the national or your local AFP.  They typically have solid fundraising seminars with good content.  But beyond a conference or training, here are some other ideas that you can take advantage of right now!

1. Plan an on-site visit of one or more of your programs.  Richard and I have talked about this a lot in our blog, but you can never get enough programs.  You have to know what you’re talking about with your donors and the best way to do that is to volunteer for a day, or week, and get to know first-hand what your organization does.
2. Spend time with finance to learn about the numbers.  You can get a lot of information you’ll need for donors.
3. Take time to learn your donor database software.  I can’t tell you how many MGO’s have no clue how to get reports, enter in data and seek information from their own donor database.  It’s sad and frustrating for people who have to work with them.  So this summer, take some time to learn the ins and outs of your own database.  You’ll be empowering yourself and making life much easier for the people who have to help you figure it all out.  And, you’ll be amazed at how a better understanding of your own database can help you in your work.
4. Take an Excel course.  Yes, I’m getting really specific here.  I’m not saying you have to be a wiz at Excel, but you should know the basics.  If you have to be involved in putting together any kind of report for management or creating a budget, 9 times out of 10 you’ll need to know Excel.  Take the time to learn it.  You and the people around you will benefit greatly.  No excuses that you are too busy this summer.  Now is the time.
5. Do some reading!  There are a lot of great magazine articles and blogs out there that can be really helpful.  Besides going back into the archives of Passionate Giving, I recommend Fundraising Success Magazine, the Chronicle of Philanthropy, The Major Gifts Report, Future Fundraising Now, The Agitator and Pamela’s Grant Writing Blog, just to name a few.  There is just a ton of good materials out there, so take some time to bookmark them or print them out and bring them with you to the beach to read.

If you can do even a few of these things this summer, just think how prepared you’ll be for your busiest time of the year.  Learn something new this summer.  It will make you happy.

Jeff

Well, I want to take that same idea a little further.  During the summer I’m certain there are days that you feel like you’re the only one in the office.  It’s great, isn’t it?  No one’s there to bother you with endless questions, no one breathing down your neck.  It’s the perfect time to take real stock of your caseload and do a real SWOT analysis.

A SWOT analysis is about analyzing your caseload’s Strengths, Weakness, Opportunities and Threats.  See the graph below:

Simply draw these four quadrants on a piece of paper or whiteboard.  Now, while you’re sitting in your office or in an empty conference room, start filling these in.

1. Strengths—Who are your best donors? Why are they your best donors?  How can you leverage them?  How can you get more of your caseload into this category?
2. Weaknesses—Do you really even know most of your caseload?  Are you too event driven and not enough one-on-one driven?  Do you have too many B and C level donors on your caseload?  Who are your weakest donors?
3. Opportunities—Perhaps you have some A level donors who want to introduce your organization to their friends or invite your B and C level donors to hear them talk about your organization.  Maybe you have lots of on-site visit opportunities that your caseload can take advantage of to witness your mission first-hand.
4. Threats-  The local economy… too many C level donors…program people who are not geared toward fundraising… can’t get the numbers from finance?  These could all be threats to the success of your caseload.

You’ll be amazed at what you can come up with when you have some time to think.  And with just under half of the calendar year gone, you still have time to take this analysis and do something with it.

Once you have this worked out, I highly recommend putting this into a more formal document or PowerPoint and present it to your boss, executive director or board to show them that YOU are thinking about your donors and are continually planning and strategizing on ways to strengthen your caseload.

You’ll show your organization that YOU are on top of it and are taking time to really THINK about your donors.  Believe me, the work you do now will have huge payoffs later in the year.

Don’t wait until things begin to creep up on you.  Take the sleepy days of summer and get ahead of the game.

Jeff

“Summertime, and the living is easy…” I love that song from the musical, Porgy and Bess.  Unfortunately, I run into too many folks during the summer who actually put this into practice in their major gift work.

Now, I understand. In many development shops across the country, summer kind of slows down a bit.  That’s actually not a bad thing.  We all have rhythms in our lives during the course of the year, just like we do at work.  However, you can take two approaches to summertime.

The first approach is to sort of let it slip away from you, perhaps not putting in the hours you did earlier in the year, sip your favorite beverage and have a good time.  The second approach would be to use the more relaxed time to prepare you for what is going to be a very busy time of the year and set you up for a winning last quarter.

Over the next six posts I will be giving you ideas on how you can make good use of this more laid back time of the year and prepare for a great end of year and finish strong.  In other words, if you are getting ready to go to the beach or vacation by the lake, you can take the Passionate Giving Blog with you for some great summer reading and get inspired!

Now that the first half of the year has ended, the beginning lesson for the summer is to do a quick review of your caseload and  1) determine where you are compared to your overall goals with each donor and  2) create a new list of your caseload donors who are behind in your revenue goals.

Richard and I find it perplexing that many major gift officers have no idea at the half-way point in the year how they are actually doing compared to their goals.  Even more perplexing to us is how some MGO’s have a false idea of where they actually are.  Let me explain.  Recently I was reviewing a brand new client’s caseload and asked the MGO what his current status was towards his goal.  The answer? “Oh, I’ve already made my goal for the year.”  “Wow, great”, I said. “How did you do that?”

Well, I found out how.  When I reviewed the goals and revenue of each donor I noticed that this MGO had 35 donors who had no goals attached to them, yet the revenue that came in this year was counted toward his goal.  So, in reality, this MGO was not even halfway toward his revenue goal…for the donors that HAD a goal.

So, here we are at just over the halfway point in the calendar year.  Let’s get real with our numbers, okay?  It does YOU no good to not know where you REALLY are.

Okay, so now you should know what your numbers are and can identify those donors who are behind goal.  At this point in the year, what you want to do is take some time to re-strategize how you are going to “make up” the revenue that you expected in the first half of the year.

I find this exercise to be really helpful because it allows you to stay ahead of a potential problem.  What do I mean?  Well, because you have roughly six months to obtain the revenue from that donor, you have the time to readjust and come up with new strategies and tactics.  If you don’t readjust, you’re most likely going to be facing a problem at the end of the year.

Even better, you can let your manager know about the situation by giving him a quick “half-year” caseload report that proactively points out potential problem areas.  This lets your manager know that you are indeed aware of the situation and that you have a plan to address it.  I don’t know any manager that wouldn’t love that kind of report from an MGO.

Unfortunately, Richard and I are amazed at how many MGO’s actually try to “hide” their numbers when things are not going so well.  That is the WORST thing you could possibly do.  Why?  Because I guarantee you that you WILL get found out and, once you do, you will lose the trust of your manager.  Please don’t make this mistake.

Get ahead of a problem.  Acknowledge it, and then figure out how to address it.  Now is the time.  Summertime.

Jeff

Success. Everybody wants it. A lot of people have ideas on how to get it. But what actually contributes to success?

I once was asked to put together a list of the major themes that ran through the marketing successes I’ve been involved in. Here’s what I found:

1. We had a market-driven plan that had a unique and desired product or service.  Is what you are offering to donors in your major gift program donor driven?  In other words, does it match their interests and passions or is it just something your management wants to do that donors are really not interested in?
2. The critical objectives were clearly defined in that plan.  Jeff and I have seen so many programs that have no objectives at all, not to mention critical objectives. Often, when a donor asks, “So, what are you trying to accomplish?” the MGO cannot really answer.  You must have objectives that are specific for each of the programs you are presenting to donors.
3. There was integration of effort in the plan.  Is the activity in program integrated and consistent with what the organization is doing in fundraising and finance?  Believe me, donors can tell when they are not.  It is rather embarrassing when an MGO is saying one thing and finance is producing a different picture.  For instance, we have a situation right now where finance is saying the project is fully funded and the MGO, who has talked to the people on the ground, is saying it isn’t.  Not good.
4. We tested the premise, idea or opportunity in a very small, low-risk way before we rolled it out. While this point doesn’t always apply to a major gift situation, my point here is this:  do not just roll out your big idea before you test it in a small, measurable way first.
5. We treated people as an end first, then as a means to an end. Here’s our people theme again.  People first.  Donors first.  Others first.  I hope you don’t get tired of hearing Jeff and me say this all the time, because it is so important. There is a direct link to success in major gifts and putting the donor first.
6. We knew that relationships were key to causing transactions. I just can’t understand why this one point doesn’t sink into every MGO’s head!  Seriously.  Relationship first.  Then transaction.  You just cannot jump into the lady’s purse and expect to extract any significant sum of money.  And if by some remote chance you are successful getting something, it will not happen again.  Money flows OUT of relationship.
7. We were obsessed with measuring cause and effect (or return on investment). This is so important.  There is one MGO I know who just cannot help getting involved in activity with donors on her caseload that produce no revenue.  She will spend hours fooling with an idea that has no bearing whatsoever on funding program.  It’s insane!  If only we could get her to just stop and see that the money she is spending to process something with no return is a waste of time. Getting her to see this would make all the difference.  You must stop and measure return on investment for every donor – every relationship – you have.  If you don’t, you will get lost in useless activity.

Those are the seven principles that run through successes I have had in the past and continue to have now.  I was then asked what threads ran through my most impressive failures. I said, “I got cute. I went for flash and impression rather than results. I should have stayed practical and used common sense.“

Well, that one statement says it all, doesn’t it?  Failure is so easy to find if you start focusing on yourself and give life to that latent “me energy” inside of you.  You have to manage this.  Now, failure is inevitable. But you can do a lot to avoid it in the first place if your planning sticks to the seven points above.

Jeff and I firmly believe that major gift program planning must be logical, strategically designed, and carefully executed. You must pay attention to how all the parts of your organization and major gift strategy work together. Remember — it’s a symphony, not a solo.

And there’s that other side of the business: People.  We have some principles regarding this most important asset as well.  Here they are:

1. No one can go it alone, because no one has all the gifts and abilities needed to achieve an organization’s goals. Get rid of solo players.  Lift up and honor team players.
2. If someone doesn’t love the organization’s goals first and his own goals second, you don’t want him on your team. Get rid of him.
3. We are meant to work in relationships, dependent on each other. It doesn’t work any other way.

We believe good strategic planning and thinking, coupled with people who value the whole effort, are the keys to success. It’s what makes the work we do successful.

Richard

I think the use of the word “fire”, as in “fire people”, is a little bit extreme.  Might it be better to say “relocate people” or “transition people”?  “Fire people” is so punitive.  It’s angry and final.  It hurts.  And because the word and the act of firing has that connotation, it is an action very few employers do right.

Here’s why.

A person is usually fired because of any number of reasons, among them the following:

1. He is not doing his job to expectation.
2. He has a work ethic problem, i.e., he’s late, sloppy, etc.
3. He is not a team player and constantly works against the group.
4. He has an attitude problem.
5. He’s involved in something unethical or dishonest.
6. The boss doesn’t like him and wants to move him out.
7. The boss has a family member, friend or someone else he wants to put in the position.
8. There are financial difficulties in the organization,  cuts need to be made.

It’s always something.  But often I find that employers do not deal with the actual reason for fear of conflict, so they maneuver circumstances and rationale to “move the person out”.  And that’s where the damage begins.

Jeff and I faced a situation a while back when a Development Director was so inept, so out of touch, so ineffective, that she should have been transitioned out years ago.  In the situation we encountered, she had constructed a major gift program and hired MGO’s (and spent a lot of money) that was not only worthless, but damaging to the organization.

This Development Director had somehow maintained her position in the organization, in various jobs, even though she didn’t actually belong in fundraising at all.  She had developed, over time, a system that kept her employed and kept her supervisors either believing she was doing a good job or knowing she was not doing a good job but too scared to do anything about it.

We see this quite often in our work.  People in the wrong jobs doing the best they can just to hang on, and employers allowing it to happen.  This situation has several devastating and damaging effects:

1. First of all, it hurts the organization in obvious ways.  Money is spent on labor with little or no positive return on the investment.
2. It hurts the employer.  The manager is letting a bad situation continue, which negatively affects his reputation and professionalism.  If you are a manager reading this and you are in a situation like this, you really need to change it.  You need to change it because it not only affects your track record, which you will need to own and “sell” in the future, but it also affects how you feel about yourself as a professional.  This important detail will undermine your confidence as a manager, as well as your effectiveness.  Believe me, it hurts you just as much as the lack of production of your employee is hurting the organization.
3. It hurts the employee.  You know how it feels to be doing work that you are neither good at nor motivated to do.  It’s terrible!  And having to get up in the morning and fake it for 8 or more hours is demeaning and tiring.  Then, having been through all of that, to know that the result you have achieved is below standards takes another chunk out of your sagging self-image.  All of this causes fear and anxiety which further takes its toll.  It is NOT a good situation.  It is like dying a slow death.
4. It hurts other employees.  You’ve seen how a nonproductive member of the team affects the team.  It’s difficult to watch – and more difficult to experience.  And the longer it goes on, the more chatter there is about how bad the organization is, how bad the manager is, how bad the person is, etc., etc.  The whole thing creates a larger negative dynamic that, as time goes on, becomes more and more difficult to control and contain.
5. In fundraising, it hurts donors.  When an employee who deals with donors is not performing up to standard, the donor suffers and eventually goes away.  Jeff and I have seen this happen far too often.  In fact, we have a situation right now where one MGO simply believes all donors are the same, that it is impossible and unnecessary to treat them as individuals, so he just does his direct marketing thing with every donor on his caseload.  This is so abusive and intolerable.  It does not honor the donor and it hurts the organization.  But it is the belief and work standard for this MGO, which is why he is not succeeding and why donors are being lost under his management.

Here’s the thing – the primary reason a person does not perform in his or her job is because the job does not match the person’s motivations and abilities.  It’s that simple.  That’s why, in my mind and management practice, I have changed the whole meaning of “firing” a person to “transitioning” a person to a place that really works for him.

Here are several examples.

A very good MGO is so good that the manager moves her into a position of managing MGO’s.  She fails.  Why?  Because her real motivation is to be out in the field talking to donors.  Her real ability is to help match donor interests and passions to the needs of the organization.  She does not have the interest or ability to manage other MGO’s.  She may have thought she did, but she doesn’t.

A person is hired as an MGO and fails at the job.  The hiring manager thought he would be good with donors.  He had a track record of doing well in major gifts in other organizations – or so his resume said,  but he fails.  Why?  Because he is really a systems, administrative, computer guy.  He would rather be behind the scenes creating order rather than out with donors on the front line.

An MGO is hired and fails at her job.  She is constantly organizing events and networking with VIP’s in the community.  She has worked her way into a relationship with the local television station and is on a first name basis with the editor of the local paper.  She is an unbelievable networker.  She looks good, talks good and knows how to influence people.  But when it comes to managing a caseload of donors, she is a miserable failure.  Why?  Because her real love is Public Relations.  She is not afraid to ask for attention and publicity.  She is terrified about asking for money.

So usually, the “fix” to a non-productive and unhappy employee is to align a job to the person’s motivations and abilities.  While this is easier said than done, it does work and it honors the person and protects the organization.

I have personally transitioned hundreds of people who worked for me and I know this works, which is why you should try it.  And if you are unhappy in your job, I suggest you take the time to look carefully at your motivations and abilities and how they align to the job you are in.

One thing I know for sure is that each of us has a unique set of motivations and abilities that perfectly match a job that needs to be done.  The goal is to find that match.

Richard

He was used to power and powerful people.  He called me from New York to talk about the position we had open.  Then the conversation took a twist that he did not expect.

This was back in the days when I was the co-owner and manager of one the largest direct marketing agencies in the United States.  My business partner and I had started the agency with a very focused mission statement and distinct set of operating values.

We weren’t just going to hire anyone, no matter how talented they were.  We were hiring people who first passed an “attitude” test, then we looked at aptitude, i.e., what they were good at.

We were on the hunt for a really good person.  I engaged a search firm and placed ads describing the position in most of the major industry papers.

And that’s how it came to be that this gentleman, a very, very talented man from New York, called me.  He had seen the ad and decided to get in touch directly because he felt he fit the qualifications for the job exactly.  He had decided to bypass the process we had set up for vetting people because, well, this would just save time and he was certain that once we saw what he brought to the table we would be convinced that he was our man.

He emailed me his resume and I had to admit it was impressive.  This was, indeed, a very talented guy.  So I asked him some basic questions.  And then gave him my “attitude” test.  Here is what I said:

“Paul (not his real name), I am genuinely impressed with your work history and your talent.  You have a remarkable track record of achievement and success.  Here is what I would like you to do:  come to Seattle, at our expense, and meet with our head of client services.  I would like to see what HE thinks about how you would fit in.”

Paul responded, “That would be great.  Would I also be meeting with you and Tim (the other owner)?”

“No”, I said.  “First I would like for our head of client services to see what he thinks about how you would fit in.”

“Well, I don’t think that would be worth the trip,” Paul said.  “I believe I will fit in just fine.  And, as you can see by my resume, I will be able to contribute a lot to your company.  I think it would be good for us to meet as well.”

I declined the idea and redirected again.  We got into a courteous tug of wills and words as to whether he would meet with me and the other owner.

Little did Paul know, he had failed the attitude test.  So then I said the following: “You know, Paul, I have changed my mind about bringing you out to Seattle.  I actually don’t think you would fit in.  But I appreciate your contacting us and wish you well on your job search.”  And I got off the call.

The thing Paul did not know was that, for these kinds of positions, when I sensed an orientation towards power and self, I always did it this way.  I always suggested that the person come and meet with a senior manager and not me.  If he or she came and did the interview as I suggested and IF the manager thought the person would fit in, I would also schedule a meeting.  This last part was the part that remained hidden in our process.  I wanted to see how the person would react to not being able to access power.

And here is why this one point was important to me.  We had set up a culture that was oriented towards reaching client objectives (focus on others).  We had, explicitly, set up a system where we valued the team (focus on others).  We actually had a values statement that said:  “we value a focus on getting things done vs. a focus on position and power”.

This man, with his “me energy” would have upset the very delicate ecosystem we had created, and I wasn’t about to let it happen.  I had already weeded out other employees and prospective employees who brought with them a high orientation toward self vs. others.  I couldn’t let this man get into the environment.

Now, I want to be clear about one thing.  I am not about hiring weak “yes” people who are cowering, self-deprecating types, only interested in doing anything the boss says.  It’s actually the opposite.  I want strong, independent, powerful people around me, men and women, who will contribute greatly to our collective efforts.  I want opinionated people around who will tell the truth, debate the point, not shy away from conflict and courageously and boldly lead.

But these people must be others oriented and use their power to build up the client, the group and the team.  That is the difference.

I have concluded that people who make a desperate and frantic grab for power are afraid that others will try to manage and control them.  So to avoid that scenario, they must control and manage everyone and everything around them.

I know about this first hand because I have struggled with these same fears.  My early childhood was filled with other people using their power to hurt me.  I have had to learn, through many hours of counseling and the good guidance of close friends, that misusing power because of fear is unproductive, impractical and hurtful.

So what does all this mean to you in your major gift journey?  Here are a few observations:

1. YOU are a powerful person.  Yes you are!  You might not feel like it, but that is likely because you have allowed others to make you small.  Get on a journey to come into your own power.
2. Use your power to honor, respect, help and lift up others.  These others include your spouse, significant other, fellow team members, your boss, your kids, your donors, the service people in your life, people on the street – every human being you run into.  And, all the animals in your life as well.  And the earth.  If you are using your power to abuse others, animals, things and the earth, then you are on the wrong track.  Get help to change your course.
3. In your major gift role, pay particular attention to using your power correctly with donors.  You have information, you have the ability to answer concerns and complaints, you are able to control how quickly a donor is thanked, you can match donors’ interests and passions to a project that will bring them joy, you are in control of the communication stream to the donor and can turn the frequency and “volume” up or down on what the donor receives – you are in control of most of the relationship between your donor and the organization.  Use this power wisely to lift the donor up and honor her.
4. Value and preserve yourself and, from that place of power, focus on others.  Learning to love yourself is no easy task.  I have spent a lifetime doing it.  And because I am human, I will always revert back to my old ways of selfishness and power grabbing if I don’t watch it.  So I am constantly on alert.  But I have discovered that there is a direct link between valuing and preserving myself and my ability to use my power to honor and lift up others.  When my love of self level is low, I tend to get more power hungry and self oriented.  When it is high, I am able to focus more generously on others.  So I have learned to stay in touch with that dial and take steps to correct my heart and mind when needed.  I suggest you do the same.

In the introduction to this series on money, position and power I asked you to make a list of what truly brings you happiness and fulfillment.

Hopefully, the main focus of your list is about others – serving them, lifting them up, building them, walking with them, encouraging them, helping them, etc.  Hopefully, there isn’t an entry on your list that says something like “if only I had more money I would be happy” or “if only I had that position or more authority and power I would be happy”.  If you have written something like that, I would ask you to re-read this series and ponder the question:  Does the pursuit of money, position and power fundamentally bring happiness and fulfillment?

I don’t think so.

And that is the dilemma we all face in this society of ours that is so oriented to the acquisition of money, position and power.  How do you operate and properly move ahead in such an environment?

Through service to others – outrageous service to others.

Richard

I have seen it happen so many times.  A very successful person, bored with the familiarity of his or her job and plagued by many conflicting desires, wants another place in the organization, maneuvers a transfer to that other place and is miserable after getting there.  In major gifts, Jeff and I often see a very successful MGO who “just has to” become the major gift program manager. Hmmmm…. That could be a pretty big leap!

Why do we do this?  Why is it we just have to move to another position and usually move up?

There are some good reasons:

1. You really do have more to contribute – better ways to put your skills and abilities to good use in the organization.  I say “really do” in the sentence above because not only do you think this is true, but others do as well.  (Don’t just go on your own thoughts on this one).
2. The organization needs you to help in new ways.
3. The two items above are true and you need (not want) more money.

There are also some reasons that are not very good:

1. You want (not need) the money.  I can’t tell you the number of times I have seen a person who, wanting more money, gets into a position that does not fit him, performs miserably, fails and then loses not only the job he so brilliantly got, but also loses the platform of respect and honor (and the position) he originally had.  This happens more than you know and it is a tragic situation.
2. You want recognition. This one is tricky, because recognition is not all bad. In fact, one of the key attributes of good sales and good creative people is that they love to get results through their own efforts, they love to self-express and they love and need the attention and recognition of others.  This is good.  When interviewing for these types of positions, I always try to discern if the person is satisfied with being one of many in his group or, instead, needs to be a key contributor?  If he is satisfied being one of many, he will not succeed in his job.  A critical attribute of good sales people (read MGO’s) is that they, motivationally, need to stand out from the group and they need to be key contributors.  So this is good.  But where this goes bad is when people are so hungry for recognition that they cannot see the limits of their abilities and they cannot respect and honor others.  They will do almost anything to gain recognition, including taking over the job duties of another person, grabbing the credit for something well done even though it does not belong to them and, generally, in an almost child-like way, demand attention, demand that their opinion be heard, insist they be included in a meeting, etc.  It is tiring to watch, believe me.  This is not where you want to go.
3. You want more authority and power. But you want this not because you want to increase your service to others and the organization.  You want it because it makes you feel good and you need to be in charge, controlling and directing others.  I recently encountered a situation with just such a person. This person needed more recognition.  He needed authority and power.  And he was totally and absolutely out of his depth in terms of ability.  He was so far away from his true, authentic self – so far away from the use of any skill or ability he had that, if it weren’t so tragic, it would be like watching a comedy.  One gaffe followed another.  The person dominated meetings, yakking away about total nonsense.  It was a joke.  I sat in one meeting where I just wanted to get up and yell at the person and tell him to shut up.  It was that frustrating.  But then, following my own advice, I looked at the person through compassionate eyes and saw a wonderful human being who was simply lost – a person who so desperately wanted to be valued, loved and accepted that he just could not help himself.  It was so sad.

So if you are making the money you need to make, if you are happy in your job and your boss is also happy with you, why worry about another position unless you truly believe you can contribute more there or the organization needs you to help in another position?

Someone might say, “Richard, you seem to be saying that a person should never desire or strive for moving ahead in his career either with the organization he is with or with a new organization.  Is that what you are saying?”

No, not at all – and I am sorry if I am giving that impression.  I am talking about the heart and the motivations behind the desire to advance, and NOT the actual act of advancing, which can be good.  In fact, if there were no interest in advancing in life we would stagnate into an unproductive place of no progress and no energy, simply being satisfied with the status quo. And that would be terrible.  No, I certainly don’t mean that.

Here is what I do mean.

If you have unrealized potential and can use that potential (those skills and abilities) to serve others outrageously; if you see an area in the organization you are currently working for or another organization where you know you could make a difference by contributing your skills and abilities; if you need more money and one or both of the previous statements are true, then go for it with gusto, energy and determination.  I call this reason for advancing the “others” reason because the focus of your help is on others.

If, instead, your motive is about gaining recognition, power and authority and the points above do not apply, then stay where you are; you are obsessing about the wrong stuff.  If you let it play out, you will get yourself into trouble.  I call this reason for advancing the “self” reason because the focus of your help is on yourself.

While it is easy to write about these two positions, others and self, it is actually very complex to apply the principles embodied in them.  There is always a little bit of self in everything we do no matter how “other” oriented we become.

But my major point here is to control and manage self and to focus those inner drives on others.  When you can tip the balance from self to others, then you will begin to experience true happiness and fulfillment in your life.

Richard

In my introduction to this topic a few days ago I told you that I got caught stealing money when I was in 7^th grade.  Now I want to tell you why I did it and how it influenced my relationship with, and thoughts about, money.

My parents did not have much money.  I didn’t notice it until they sent me to a boarding school for first grade.  The school had a mixture of kids from very wealthy families as well as kids like me at the bottom of the economic ladder.  It didn’t take me long to notice the difference.

I didn’t know it at the time, but the act of sending me off to a boarding school in another country started me down an emotional and psychological track of self-doubt and loathing.  I felt horrible about myself.  I was anxious all the time.  And I desperately was seeking to discover my value through the kids around me.

While my story is way more complicated than I have time to develop here, the bottom line is that the confluence of my low self-image and rich kids flaunting their money and possessions caused me a great deal of inner turmoil.  And so I decided to buy my way into love and acceptance.  I began stealing money from the student council store.  I did two things with the money:  I used it for myself and I gave large sums of it away to a group of friends I was “buying”.

This continued for some time until I was caught and got kicked out of school.  The consequences of this childhood event started me on an interesting and dramatic journey with money that taught me several lessons:

1. Money has nothing to do with one’s personal value.  While I know this intellectually, to this day I still struggle with it emotionally.  So I have an ongoing conversation with myself about this to remember that no matter how much or how little I have, I will be no less and no more valuable as a person.  And I will be no happier either.
2. Money will not help you find or maintain a relationship – any kind of relationship, business or personal.  When you have money, like I did at that school and like I have had in my career, there will be quite a few people who are happy to be your “friends”.  But if and when the money dries up, you will see most of them quickly disappear.
3. Money in the workplace is first about providing service, then about making a living. This one is counterintuitive.  We all need to make a living, so work is an important and necessary activity.  But I have found that many employers and employees are confused about this dynamic.  Over the years that I have been an employer I have found that, with an employee, there is a direct correlation between the employee’s obsession with money and a lack of quality service to the organization.  Conversely, those employees who are primarily focused on doing a good job and securing the agreed upon results in an effective and efficient way are the ones who consistently deliver quality services to the organization.
4. The acquisition of money needs to be a result, not an objective.  I have learned this lesson in two ways throughout my career.  The first way is in the progression of positions I have held.  Never in my career have I sought a position simply to earn more money.  In fact, if you were to look back at my job history over the years, each time I changed jobs, my salary dropped.  Why? Because I was seeking a new opportunity and I believed I could make a difference.  Here is what my compensation pattern has looked like over the years:

Now, I’m not sharing this to puff myself up or show what a wonderful person I am. I am simply saying that when you approach a job with a motive to secure an opportunity and provide service vs. just grabbing the money, something very magical happens in your heart and your employer’s head.  And financial rewards come to you in unexpected and generous ways.  Why?  Because a good and smart employer will see that he or she has an employee who is making things happen, an employee who is focused on getting things done, and an employee who puts the organization and his or her boss ahead of personal interests.  This is very powerful.  And in my case, the compensation trend line was up over the years to greater and greater financial rewards with some small “pauses” during transitions.

I know, some of you may have been burned on the compensation thing and are now cynical and careful, saying, “If I don’t take care of me, who will?”  I know.  But this “if I don’t take care of me” attitude, if not controlled and managed, has a way of putting negative energy into the relationship between you and your employer.  Believe me, I know this from being an employer myself and having been an avid student of this topic over the last 25 years.

The second way I learned this lesson is through my work with clients over the years.  While it is often said that profits and money come from providing a great product and great service, very few people actually believe this principle and put it into action.  Instead, they are obsessed with grabbing the money.  The result?  They set a tone in their organization that is self-interested and self- focused rather than others-oriented.  This is a dreadful mistake and one that leads to failure.

When you lead an organization that is providing services to customers and you honestly believe you can take short cuts, put yourself before others, and manipulate and lie in order to get what you want, you will fail.  It is just that simple and it is only a matter of time before reality catches up with you.

Conversely, if you serve your employees and your customers outrageously, with a heart and mind toward their interests, the financial rewards will follow.  I have experienced this principle in the organizations I have owned and led in my career.  And it works.  It really does.

So, what does all of this mean to you in your current major gifts job and/or your search for a new job?  How should you think about money/compensation in your work?  Here is what I think:

1. Adopt a philosophy of service vs. just going for the money.  Have a heart and mind that is oriented toward giving vs. getting. This means asking yourself why you are so obsessed with money, if you are.  You only need so much.  Why are you obsessed with wanting more?  I am not saying here that you shouldn’t want more or plan to get more.  I am asking why the wanting is so central to your being?  I have nothing against making money.  It’s fine with me if you go for the $150,000 job or you have discovered a way to make millions.  My question is about your heart and your motives. If the core driver is just about the money, you will not have a good journey.  If, instead, it is about good service to others, you will be successful.
2. Do not let your drive to want more money force you into a job situation that won’t work.  If you absolutely need (not want) to make $40,000 but the job pays $35,000,  don’t maneuver yourself into a situation in which you persuade the prospective employer to give you $40k.  It will set the wrong tone and the wrong expectations.  It will put pressure on you that you do not need.  If what you need is $50,000 and the range of the job is $50 to $60k, why not start at the $50k and “win” the rest of it through good service?  Why do you HAVE to have more to begin with?  The point here is simply this:  do not make money the driving and central force in taking a job. Do not let yourself get beyond your needs into wants.  Let your service be the thing that brings you the money, not your manipulations.
3. Be aware of and own the fact that your employer needs an economic payback from the money he or she is investing in you.  We hardly ever think of this point – that the employer needs to get something from the deal as well.  He or she not only needs to get work done – somehow it needs to be economically worth it.  In major gifts, if you are just starting out, the payback may be as low as 1:2 or 1: 3, meaning the organization gets back $2 or $3 for every dollar they spend.  As the program matures, that ratio needs to improve substantially.  If YOU own this and serve it, you will bring joy to your manager.  And I know that when this kind of joy happens, financial rewards for you are just around the corner.  That is how it works.
4. Be willing to take a step backwards financially in order to secure a better place for yourself.  Assuming you are taking care of your financial needs (not wants), when you are thinking about changing jobs or doing the same thing in another organization, think of the opportunity first, not the money.  And if the opportunity is something that really matches your motivations and abilities, but the starting pay is below what you make now, but above what you need, then strongly consider it.  I promise that in this situation, the money will take care of itself.

What this entire post comes down to is this:  Focus on giving of yourself vs. trying to get.  If you can do this, you will find true happiness.  Then all you have to do is sit back and watch what happens.

Richard

In other words, in your work, if you are doing it well, you will continually be hustling.  Yes, that’s a good word for it, hustling.

When I have my weekly update meetings with MGO’s, I can tell pretty quickly who is extraordinary and who isn’t by how fast those meetings seem to go.  Meetings with extraordinary MGO’s fly by because they are either super animated as they discuss situations with their donors, or they are creatively brainstorming with me a complex gift that has many twists and turns through which to navigate.

Listening to an extraordinary MGO describe what is happening with her caseload is like listening to a grandmother talking about her 23 grandchildren.  Like grandparents who really love their grandchildren, an MGO loves his or her donors and loves to discuss all the ins and outs of the relationship the donor has with the organization.

So, let me recap the six secrets for you so you either know what to aspire to, or, if you’re a manager, know what to look for and expect in an MGO.

1. Set goals you can’t make—This is about setting goals for each donor on your caseload that will stretch, challenge and motivate you.
2. Rejection is required—if you’re a great MGO you will be out there with your donors asking.  This means you will be getting a lot of rejections.  But, each rejection is just another learning experience to help you become better at what you do.
3. Mistakes are mandatory—much like #2, if you’re an extraordinary major gift officer, you are active and busy…which also means you’ll make a ton of mistakes.  That’s okay, as long as you don’t make the same mistake twice.  Mistakes are a great way to grow.
4. It’s not a 9 to 5 job—Extraordinary MGO’s are donor focused, therefore they work on their donor’s time.  Great MGO’s know what it takes to do the job.  Managers don’t need to micro-manage their time.  Instead, they manage them based on the overall objective: more donated revenue and deeper relationships.
5. You don’t have all the answers—meaning, you have to be curious, ask a ton of questions and never allow a roadblock to shut you down.  Great MGO’s are forever curious about their donors and how to overcome any situation.
6. You should never be comfortable—if you are setting high goals, actively cultivating gifts from at least 20% of your caseload at any given time and  stewarding the heck out of the other 80%,  you’ll naturally run into a number of situations which will be demanding and difficult.  But that is the role of a major gift officer.  This is not supposed to be some cushy job where you sit at a desk and write thank you notes.  This is a job that requires you to be “out there”, going to all lengths for your donors and for your organization.

Richard and I will guarantee you that if you bring to light these six secrets and embody them, you will be an extraordinary major gift officer.  Or, if you’re a manager, these six secrets are what you are looking for from your team of MGO’s.

Are there any secrets we missed?  Let us hear yours.

Jeff

One of the best things about extraordinary major gift officers is that they don’t have all the answers.  “Huh?  I thought if they were great they would know exactly what to do and say in just about every situation.”

No, in fact that’s not even possible.  However, what Richard and I witness in extraordinary MGO’s is their ability to ask questions and demonstrate curiousity about everything.  And because they are curious, they find solutions to just about everything.

Now, you may think, “Well, of course you have to ask questions.”  But, I’m telling you, it is not always the norm for people to be curious, interested and have a desire to know more.  If it were, we would see it all the time and, quite frankly, I wouldn’t be writing this post.

Over and over again, when Richard and I sit down with ordinary MGO’s, they are overcome by roadblocks and become completely stuck.  They tell us they don’t know what to do about a certain situation or donor and they have often allowed months, and sometimes even years, to go by without figuring out a solution.

Then, we sit down with these folks and start asking questions that one would think were pretty obvious.  Within 30 minutes we have a plan and a path toward a solution.  Usually we shake our heads wondering how these folks still have jobs.

Curiosity is such a powerful tool for an MGO.  Yes, I said tool – because curiosity can become the driver to help you figure out a problem.  It creates the basis for understanding a donor and can catapult you to the answer to some very complex situations.

So, quite frankly, if you are not a curious person, you should NOT be a major gift officer.

Just recently I met with a brand new MGO.  She’s not even one year into the job, has  had a little development experience, but never in major gifts.  She was hired to start a major gift program for a non-profit that had no major gift donors.  She was given a list of donors in her area and some wealth screening notes on paper.

No training, no support…just her, and a list of donors who had never been cultivated.

In one year, she has developed a caseload of over 100 donors and has helped bring in over $300,000.  She has created a new major gift committee with former CEO’s and well-connected people in the community.  She has single-handedly created her own materials (even taking her own photos of programs) and figured out what projects she could raise money for.

When I sat down with her, it was the first time she had met with anyone who knew anything about major gifts.

So how did she accomplish all this?  By being curious.  She asked questions…lots of questions.  She started talking to donors, thanking them, making connections and reaching out to people in her community to help her.  Whenever she came up against a barrier, she figured out a way to get around or move through it.

I asked her how she could do all this when she didn’t know anything about these donors or major gifts.  She said, “Jeff, I just started talking to donors and asking them why they gave.  Then I asked them to help connect me to other people and it was amazing.  Once I started asking questions, people began to respond.”

I reviewed the donors on her caseload.  This caseload is full of multi-millionaires and leaders of industry in her area.  The potential for this caseload is unbelievable -all cultivated in one year from someone who had no training in major gifts…yet was curious…and fearless.

In recalling this story I find myself laughing because I just remembered that during our lunch together all she did was ask me questions.  She was so excited to talk to me that by the end of our meal I was exhausted from all the questions she was peppering me with.

Extraordinary MGO’s don’t get stuck.  They thrive on figuring out how to get something done when at first it seems impossible.  They love learning new things.  They love to know more about the people they meet.  They are interesting people themselves.  If you have dinner or lunch with an extraordinary MGO, you feel great at the end of the meal.  Why?  Because they are interested in YOU.

In fact, they are interested in everything.

Jeff

Extraordinary MGO’s:  1) view their jobs as a life passion and,  2) schedule their time around their donors’ lives and not some old paradigm that their non-profit is stuck in.

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard ordinary MGO’s talk about how they couldn’t get a hold of their donors either by phone or in person.  “I’ve tried 3 or 4 times to get in touch with this donor, but he is never home and never gets back to me.” When I dig a little deeper and ask a few more questions,  I come to learn that they are trying to reach out to donors during their own office hours.

Why are donors not at home?  Perhaps because, like the MGO, they are working!  When I suggest that they need to call in the evenings  or plan visits around the donor’s schedule, I get a strange look of horror.  You’d think I had asked them to jump off a bridge or something.

If you happen to be the manager of an extraordinary MGO, the absolute worst thing you can do is require that he or she work from the office and “punch a clock.”  I’ve seen great MGO’s whose spirit and creativity are crushed because some out of touch manager has a need to see their faces in the office everyday.

Now, I understand the tension for you managers.  You may have been burned in the past by other MGO’s who had a lot of freedom, could work from home and “do their thing,” and then took advantage of it and didn’t do their job.  Believe me, Richard and I have seen this all too often as well.

But, what Richard and I see across the board with extraordinary MGO’s is that they are constantly restless.   They don’t settle for an unanswered phone, but rather, do their best work around their donor’s schedule.   And they PRODUCE.

I remember a situation in which an MGO was really unhappy about his manager’s requirement that he work from the main office.  Most of his donor visits were either in the evenings, early mornings for breakfast or on the weekends, yet he was still required to be in the office by 8:30 every morning.

He wanted the ability to have more flexible hours.  When we sat down with his manager and looked at his goals v. actual revenue…he had more than doubled his goals.  And he had repeatedly done so year after year.

Why would you try and “control” someone like that by requiring him to work regular “office hours”?

You wouldn’t.  So, if you happen to be doing that…stop it now!

In fact, if I were the manager of an MGO who always came in on time and left at 5pm every day, I would be really concerned.

The extraordinary MGO knows how to work within the donor’s time.

If a donor says, “Hey, I know it’s late, but can you meet me at a diner at 10 pm?”,  there is no hesitation from the MGO.  “Of course!  I’ll see you there!”  If the only meeting she can get with her donor is right before a tee time on Saturday morning…she makes that meeting.

Does she sit around and complain about it?  No.  She gets excited that the donor has carved out time for them to meet.

You see, extraordinary MGO’s know that many of their donors lead busy lives.  They know that their donors can’t fit THEIR schedule.

Extraordinary MGO’s don’t concern themselves with a 40-hour work week.  They concern themselves with getting to know their donors, deepening their relationships, coming up with creative offers to present for funding and being relentless and RESTLESS about it.

Jeff

I don’t think I know anyone who actually enjoys making mistakes or messing up.  I sure don’t and I know Richard doesn’t, but a common characteristic we find in extraordinary major gift officers is that they make a ton of mistakes, just like all the rest of us.

Now, you may be thinking, “Well, that doesn’t make sense, because if they were really, really good, they wouldn’t be making mistakes.”

Wrong.

Extraordinary major gift officers are exceptional because they are not afraid to try new things, go out on a limb, test new ideas and strategies and do everything they can for their donors.

That type of major gift officer, one who aggressively tries new strategies, will make mistakes.  But, they are extraordinary because they learn something new with each mistake they make and don’t repeat that same mistake again.

That is the key difference between an ordinary vs. extraordinary MGO.  If you are a manager, you know what I mean.  How many folks have you managed who continually make the same mistakes over and over again without ever trying to do anything about it?  Unfortunately, Richard and I see this happening all the time.

Hopefully, as a manager, you don’t allow this behavior to continue.  Because, quite frankly, that is a mistake YOU’RE making over and over again.

I was in a meeting recently with a major gift officer who was conducting an evaluation of a  gift she had helped to secure from one of her major donors.  It was a fantastic gift.  But it was incredibly complex, involving many lawyers, senior staff, family members of the donor, etc.  It took 6 months to complete this seven-figure gift.

During the process of cultivating the gift with this donor, there were many phone calls of despair from the MGO.  She would say, “Jeff, I think I’m blowing it.  I got this one person involved and now I think I made a huge mistake because the donor is upset that he is involved.  I don’t know what to do…” That was just one of many mistakes and blunders during the course of the six months.

But during this process she continually learned new ways to overcome these mistakes and, at the end of the day, the donor felt incredibly good about his gift and what a difference it was going to make.

In our evaluation meeting, she had recorded all of the mistakes and miscues she had made during the course of the cultivation of this gift.  Then, she went over her list with me, step by step, about what she learned from each one, how to avoid those mistakes with another donor and how, in the end, she realized how much the process had taught her about being a better MGO.

This is the kind of MGO you want to be!

As someone who was managing her, it was music to my ears.  The whole experience made her better because she was able to clearly see what she had done wrong, learn from it, and move forward with the donor.

And, when all was said and done, she had become even more confident in her abilities.  Is she going to make more mistakes?  Of course she is!  But she will not make the same ones.  And knowing that mistakes are always going to happen, she’s learned that it’s what you do with them that will determine success for the long run.  Mistakes, handled properly, are stepping stones to wisdom.

Now that is what makes an extraordinary MGO.

Jeff

Being rejected is required?  As my dad would say, “YOU HEARD ME!”

Many people equate “being rejected” with “I’m a loser.”  Perhaps that’s true in the dating world, but in the major gift fundraising world, it’s essential.  And it’s essential because it tells you that you’re out there doing the work.

Richard and I have run into many major gift officers who fear rejection.  MGO’s who fear rejection should really be fearing unemployment.

MGO’s who fear rejection often exhibit some of the following behaviors:

1. They research a donor to death, sometimes taking over a year to get to setting up a meeting.  Research is paramount to really understanding a donor, but it can also be used as a crutch to not get out there and ask.
2. They’re “busy” with finding new prospects and attending events.  Have you seen this too?  An MGO has a caseload of qualified donors and, instead of working with his donors, he’s out there looking for new ones.  Then he wonders why half of his caseload didn’t give that year.
3. They’re hiding under the desk.  Okay, not literally, but MGO’s who fear rejection are the folks who spend MOST of their time in the office writing up strategic plans and goals and then going over them constantly.  Hey, you all know we LOVE plans and goals, but there is a time and place for that.  60-75% of your time should be out there talking to your donors…and asking!
4. They’re constantly explaining why their meetings got canceled. Boy, Richard and I have sure heard this one quite a bit.  After three or four cancelations you automatically begin to wonder if there ever was a meeting.
5. They’re consistently in meetings with you having to explain why they didn’t meet their revenue goals that month.  Usually the answer has something to do with the donor canceling their meeting.

Extraordinary MGO’s behave quite differently.  They don’t fear rejection.  It doesn’t mean they like it, but they know it’s part of the territory.  Great MGO’s know that the more they ask, the higher the likelihood that someone will say YES.  That’s how they view their work and their caseload.

In many ways it’s similar to a professional baseball player.  A great baseball hitter fails 7 out of 10 times when he gets up to bat.  In fact, Ted Williams, one the greatest baseball hitters of all time, during his greatest year, failed 6 out of every 10 times he came to bat.  And he was a hero!

Like a great hitter, extraordinary MGO’s know that the more they can get out there and match a donor’s passion with the mission of the organization, the greater the chance of a donor saying, “YES!”  Will there be rejection?  Of course!  But again, like a good hitter, they learn from those rejections, they ask good “why” questions and they get back out there and do it better the next time.

This is not some rah-rah speech I’m giving you here.  This is a mindset-an approach, if you will, that Richard and I have witnessed in extraordinary MGO’s…over and over again. Each donor on their caseload is another chance to help the donor do something the MGO knows they want to do anyway…GIVE!

It’s a wonderful thing to watch.

Jeff

In our work with these MGO’s we have uncovered six secrets to what makes them so unique.  These “secrets” are unconventional and sometimes seem counter-intuitive, but I promise you, they are key if YOU want to be extraordinary at this work.

These “secrets” are to be shared, so please pass them on to your colleagues and give us your feedback.  We love hearing from you.  So back to that first secret, which is…

Set Goals You Can’t Reach

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Why would I set myself up for failure?”  It’s not about overextending yourself and setting expectations that management will consider are too high.  No, this is about challenging yourself.

Here’s what I mean.  In the process of goal setting with each individual donor, for most of the MGO’s we work with, we have a “management” goal and a “personal” goal.  The “management” goal is what we report to development leadership.  Usually, these goals already have a healthy percentage increase over the previous year.  In other words, there is no “sandbagging” going on.

You all understand “sandbagging” right?  Don’t do it.  The extraordinary MGO’s never sandbag their numbers so they can easily make their goals.  And if you have a good manager, it’s really irritating to them. They’ll see right through what you’re trying to do.  So don’t even try.

It’s a fast track to being out of a job.

Okay, so now you have your “management” goal.  But something we find in extraordinary MGO’s is that they will not be happy with that.  They don’t want to settle with the “management goal.” This is why we help great MGO’s create the “top-secret personal goal.”  These are the goals that, if you really kicked it up a notch, you could achieve from your caseload.  This is where you say to yourself, “If I spent more time with these 10 donors and came up with something that really matched their passions, I could get them to do much more than they even thought they could.”

Why is this a good practice?  Because it helps you stretch yourself and we find it to be a great internal motivator for extraordinary MGO’s.  And 9 times out of 10 what we find is that, when a higher goal is set…it’s achieved!

This “secret personal goal” is just that.  It’s between you and yourself.  Or, in our case, it’s just between Veritus and the MGO.  We don’t talk about this stretch goal with management.  (Okay, so now we let the cat out of the bag with all you managers…but you don’t want to know this anyway…you will be happy if your goals are met.  If they are exceeded, you’re thrilled!)

So here’s the deal.  You can put a bunch of motivational posters on your wall or screen saver, or, if you’re like the extraordinary MGO’s we work with, you can create your “secret personal goals” and challenge yourself to make them.  You’ll be amazed at what happens when you actually put something down on paper and commit to it.

Here’s one last bit of advice on these secret goals: If you don’t happen to be working with Richard or myself, tell one other person (who is not in management) about them.  Why?  Because that one person will hold you accountable and that is key to achieving your goals.

Jeff

There are very few reasons for failure in the major gift business.

Often the major cause of failure for the MGO is the organization itself.  It just does not have the program to present to donors OR, if it does, it has not prepared, packaged and priced the program as it should.

Sometimes the MGO should really not be in the job.  He or she does not have the talent or ability to do it well.

But often, the reason MGO’s fail is not because of the organization or because they do not have the talent or ability.  It is simply that they are not DOING the job properly.  And Jeff and I have been around this work enough years to see what “not doing the job” means.  It can basically  summed up in one or more of the following six reasons.

1. Failure to understand the joy of giving:  We have said this over and over again, but it bears repeating.  If you think the whole thing is ultimately about the money, you will fail.  If this is a new concept to you or you have forgotten our writing on this, go back into this blog and read the posts on this subject again.  It is not about the money.
2. Failure  to have passion and vision for the organization :   If you don’t really care about the cause of the organization you are working for and believe it is all about a paycheck, you will not succeed.  You have to have passion and vision for the cause – you need to have positive energy and be excited about it.
3. Failure to listen and understand the donor and put their interests first:   I can’t tell you how often this happens.  An MGO is so focused on getting the money (first mistake) that he or she doesn’t listen (second mistake) to the donors and therefore does not know their interests or how to serve them (the last fatal mistake).  It IS about the donor, remember?
4. Failure to understand the concept of moves management :  Moves management is the fancy term for relationship building.  We do it when we are dating or courting.  We do it when we are looking for a job.  We do it when we want something and it requires finesse and influence.  But for some reason we just don’t get it through our heads that we need to build a relationship with the donor.  We have to make those “high touch” cultivation calls and moves and build the relationship over time.
5. Failure to ask when we could:  I have seen very bold and assertive MGO’s just not ask when they could or should.  They wilt back into the corner, forget that the act of giving for the donor is one of real joy and just do not ask. It happens more than you know.  And it’s probably happened to you.
6. Failure to understand time and priority management:   One of the most frequent questions I ask  MGO’s when I am working them is “Why did you do that?”  And it usually has to do with either a priority (spending too much time with a “C” donor vs. an “A” donor), wasting time on non- caseload activity (like spending two days on an event for the organization has that has nothing to do with your caseload) or sitting in the office when you should be out with the donor.   Why are you doing that?  Jeff and I have spent a great deal of time in this blog outlining what is important.  If you seem to be out of time or off focus it is time to get back to the discipline of doing the right things at the right time.

If you are experiencing failure in your job right now I know how unsettling that can be.  But if you feel you are in the right job and working for the right organization, then the reason, likely, has something to do with you.

So, take a look at these six reasons for failure and try to discern if any of them apply to you.  If so, take steps to correct each one.  You know what to do.  Just make a decision to do it.  And I promise you will get to a happier place.

Richard

1. First, active listening means asking questions.  Questions are the best way to secure interaction and make sure you are disciplining yourself to listen.  There are four types of questions you should use in your interaction with donors:

• Confirmation Questions – “So, NAME, what we have agreed to is X?  Am I hearing you right on that?”
• New Information Questions – “There was one thing I was wondering about, NAME.   I’m curious as to why you are so interested in X?  Would you mind talking about that more with me?”
• Opinion Questions – “There is one thing I would like your opinion on, NAME.  What do you think about X?”
• Commitment Questions – “Thanks so much, NAME, for your commitment to give X.  So, as I understand it, you will be sending in Y on DATE and Z on DATE.  Is that correct?”

1. Always ask for permission to ask questions.  This shows respect for the donor, not only about the topic of the question, but as to how you are using his or her time.  Here is what it sounds like:  “Do you mind, NAME, if I ask you a question?”
2. Explain reasons for sensitive questions.  Let’s say you want to uncover the interests of your donor.  One way to do that is to find out what other organizations and causes she gives to.  But just coming out and saying, “What other organizations do you give to”, may be too abrupt and seem intrusive.  A better way is to say, “In order for me to get to know you better, NAME, I’d like  to understand what your interests are.  Would you mind sharing with me what other causes you give to so I can understand this better?”
3. Ask what benefits are desired in the donor’s giving.  It is very important to understand what the donor wants to get out of the giving transaction.  This is fundamental.  If you don’t know this critical piece of information you will not be successful in building a good relationship with the donor.  Here is a way to ask this question:  “May I ask you a question, NAME?  [Yes]. Well, one of the things I understand about giving is that there are reasons, often specific reasons, that people give.  Sometimes those reasons are all about the cause the donor is giving to.  Other times it is the cause and other personal reasons, like to memorialize a loved one or to make a statement about something that is important to the you.  What is it that matters to you in your giving to our organization?  And what do you want to get out of it?”  Then you talk about all of that.

So questions are a very important way to foster listening.  Ask a lot of questions.  Start with broad topics, then narrow down to more specific ones.  And always build current questions on previous responses, which means you are taking notes about the conversations you have had.

How will you know you are not listening well?  Here are some clues: 

1. You do all the talking.
2. You interrupt.
3. You avoid eye contact.
4. You put words in the donor’s mouth.
5. You cause the donor to become defensive by the way you speak to her.
6. You argue before the donor finishes his or her case, which means you are paying more attention to how you will respond than to what the donor is saying.
7. You digress with stories because you LOVE your stories and the sound of your voice.
8. You overdo feedback.
9. You make judgements.

Listening is also a state of the heart.  If you really care about the donor you will listen well.  If you don’t, and the whole thing is about the money, you won’t listen.  Catch yourself not listening and you have caught yourself not caring.  And that is a problem.  Not caring in major gifts is one of the most damaging things that can happen in the life of a MGO.

Make a decision to care and you will listen well.

Richard

When I was younger the word “no” caused me a great deal of anxiety. Whenever it came my way it brought with it a deep sense of failure and inadequacy. “No” meant I was a loser.

Then I became a student of the word “no”.  I sought to understand its true meaning in all of the situations of my life.  It started to dawn on me that “no” could actually be a positive and clarifying experience.  It didn’t have to mean failure and losing.

I wrote in an earlier post that a “no” simply brings you closer to a “yes”.  It is actually a wonderful and helpful thing.  But you can’t get yourself into this kind of mentality unless you understand the meaning of the word “no” – because it is in the understanding of the word, and its application, that you can find clarity, comfort and a new sense of direction.

That is why I wanted to write about this topic. The work of a MGO is filled with “no’s”.  That’s the nature of the job.  And I find that hundreds of good MGO’s are debilitated by the word and it renders them ineffective and deflated.

In major gifts there are many different meanings to the word “no”.  The ones we encounter most often are: 

1. Pure lack of interest – You may have thought the donor was tracking with you and really wanted to engage, but they don’t.  Period.  So they say “no” and that means you must move on.
2. A mismatch of interests – You present a program to the donor that she isn’t interested in.  You either didn’t do your homework or you presumed that your offer would be more interesting than what the facts say about the donor’s interests.
3. Your ask is not personalized to the donor – So the donors know that all you’ve done is taken a boiler plate proposal or direct mail letter and tossed in some personalization.  It is really not about the donors and their interests, their journey with you, their style, their preferences, your knowledge of them – it’s not about any of those things.  It is simply about the money.  And it doesn’t feel very good.
4. You asked for too much –The donor fell out of his chair when you mentioned the amount you      would like him to give.
5. You asked for too little – The donor gets the sense that you really do not value her participation in the cause you represent.
6. You ask before it’s time to ask – The donor feels disrespected and devalued.  As a result of your sudden reach into his pocket he now understands that, for you, it’s just about the money.
7. You don’t ask at all – I just heard an amazing story in which a MGO took six high capacity couples overseas to visit projects they were interested in, and then did not ask them for their financial involvement because “I thought it would be a little too intrusive.”  This kind of thing really confuses the donors and they start to drift in the relationship and use the word “no” more often.
8. There is a lack of understanding – You are not clear in your presentation about the need so the donor cannot understand the benefit of his or her involvement.  This happens a lot in our work. The MGO is not prepared, leaves out critical facts about what the organization is trying to do, does not frame the ask properly and, as a result, gets a “no”.
9. The donor doesn’t relate well to the MGO – You knew it all along but you ignored the fact that this donor just does not connect with you.  But rather than pass the donor to someone else, you keep trying.  It doesn’t work.  A “no” is in your future forever with this donor.  Their “no”, quite frankly, means “would you please go away?”
10. You didn’t include the significant other – And since you didn’t you missed the fact that he or she is the real decision maker.  The net result is that the person you are relating to can ONLY say “no”.  “Yes” is not an option.
11. You didn’t tell the donor that her giving made a difference – Jeff and I have said this over and over again.  If you don’t regularly tell the donor that his or her giving made a difference, you will be the disgruntled recipient of “no’s”.  Please listen on this point.   Donors cannot be satisfied in their relationship with you unless they know their giving actually made a difference.  It just will not happen.

So, that is our list of the most common meanings of “no’s” in our major gift work. When you look at the list it is not surprising that a MGO is getting a “no”.  It is so logical and straightforward – so easy to understand.

Well, if that is true, then why doesn’t MGO behavior change to eliminate the “no’s” in their relationships?  I am studying that question now. It is truly a mystery to me.  It could, fundamentally, just be laziness.  Or it could be a lack of respect and valuing of the donor.  I don’t know, I am still thinking about it.

But here is one thing I do know with certainty.  When you get a “no”, the ONLY thing you should do is look at the situation with curiosity and a researcher’s mind.  Try to figure out which of the “no” meanings are operating in your situation.  Then take steps to correct it.

Do not take a “no” personally.  Instead, take it as a signpost for a new direction that you must take with the donor.

Richard

MGO’s are always consumed with the donor: making a connection with her, relating to her, sending her information, etc.  When I sit down and talk to MGO’s about THE most important aspect of their job, they always say something about the donor.

It is true.  The donor is very important.  Without her there are no funds.  And without funds there is no organization.

But I’ve seen a number of situations in which an organization has great donors and above average MGO’s but they are failing to cultivate the donors and raise the money they could for their cause.  Why?  Because there isn’t any offer. No one has taken the time to look at the budget of the organization and frame it into offers or “asks” that can be presented to donors for funding.

Many of the leaders and managers in these organizations believe it is enough to just make the overall case of their mission to donors and ask them for a gift.  “That will do it”, they say. “You don’t need specifics on anything else!”

So if it’s a rescue mission, they believe that all you have to do is simply tell the donor that you need funds for food or shelter to take care of the homeless.  Well, that “offer” will take the organization somewhere.  But believe me, it won’t raise the kind of money the organization needs.  It is just not enough.

As I have studied this topic over the last few years I’ve come to realize that, in most organizations, the finance, accounting and business people are the ones who are really running the show. And that’s not all bad.  Controls need to be in place to make sure the money is handled properly.

But the whole orientation is one of putting money into nice little boxes and categories not for the donor, who is the source of the money, but for the board, the government, the watch-dog agencies, the auditor, the bank, etc. – all those other people who, for the most part, are not concerned about program impact as much as they are about percentages, overhead, proper controls, etc.

Again, please don’t get me wrong.  I am not against any of those practices.  I am just wondering where the donor is in all of it.

So, one of the major efforts Jeff and I are leading in the organizations we serve, and the industry in general, is to bring program and offers back to the forefront of everyone’s thinking.  This is why this post is about making the program person your best friend. 

Without a close and cooperative relationship with your organization’s program person, you, as a MGO, cannot succeed.  He or she holds the key to information that is critical to the offers you will construct for your donor.

Here are our specific suggestions on how to make program people and their information a bigger part of your major gift efforts:

1. First, develop a mindset that sees program as a critical part of your success.  While on the surface you may think you have program at a higher level of involvement in your daily work, my experience often shows that the MGO is really not spending enough time integrating program process, values and information into his or her major gift work.  Remember, program is the fuel that drives the fundraising engine.  You cannot live without it.  So, before going further, commit yourself to making program a bigger part of your thinking, your preoccupation and your use of time.
2. Regularly spend time with program people. Regularly visit program sites.  One client of ours insists that all the MGO’s and their managers must visit a different program site every month and develop a comprehensive report on (a) what the program is, (b) what need is being addressed, (c) who the clients are, (d) how the funds are being used, (e) what financial needs there are, and (f) client testimonials of success AND need.  You must regularly place yourself INTO the program to hear, smell and feel all of it.  You also need to regularly sit with program people to hear about the successes and the challenges they face.
3. Always look at what your organization does through the donor’s eyes.  Donors really do not care about your financial categories, your organization, your financial reports, etc.  Only the insiders care about that.  Donors want to know (a) how they can help, and (b) that their helping actually made a difference.  Period.  Nothing more.  Don’t make it more complex than that.
4. Construct offers that are big.  It’s fine to create an offer for a donor that is in the $1000 to $5000 range.  But how about coming up with one that is in the $100,000 to $500,000 range?  Or $1 million to $5 million range!  There are donors in your file right now who will support a larger ask;  you just haven’t asked them.  And you haven’t asked them for two basic reasons.  First of all, you don’t believe they will give that much.  Secondly, you have nothing to present to them.  This chicken and egg scenario repeats itself in major gift programs every day.  Break through to a new paradigm by (a) finding the three donors on your caseload who can give substantially and (b) creating an ask/offer that has vision, high energy and boldness to it.  You can do it!
5. Construct offers that include all the costs.  Jeff and I have said this many times before.  It is not enough to ask a donor to just fund the direct program costs.  If you do that for every program, your organization will be 25% or more UNDER funded!  That is not good.  Add the proportionate share of overhead to every program and ask for that amount.  It is the right thing to do.

I have seen so many organizations where the program people and the fundraisers never meet.  Or, if they do, it is a perfunctory meeting to exchange some rather dry and meaningless information vs. treating the whole subject of program content as the lifeblood of fundraising which is what it is.

It is shocking to me to hear a MGO say they have never talked to a program person – they just read the reports and that is the sole source of their information.

If you are not currently talking to program folks– please – get out of your office and go look them in the eyes, go see the program, go get into the trenches and let it affect your mind and your heart! Please do this.

It will not only move you to higher levels of performance with your donors, it will increase your technical knowledge of what your organization does.  At the same time it will increase your job satisfaction as you begin to more fully understand that you, your colleagues and your donors are truly making a difference in our hurting world.

Richard

It was amazing to see how such a simple concept could be so profound.  But when I heard the story I knew I had to pass it on to you.

These days we all take pictures whenever we want.  With smartphones a picture is just a click away and we can document anything we want.

But this is not true for many of your older donors.  They are often alone at home, just waiting for the days to pass.  And when a grandkid or son or daughter shows up, the encounter is one of immeasurable joy which turns into a passing memory.

If the donors do not have any relatives or friends to visit, their moments of joy are often the times they spend with their husband or wife, knowing that every passing day gets them closer to a parting that will bring great sadness.

All of this, I have come to learn, is a very delicate and precious situation, which one MGO chose to respond to in a most amazing way.

She, the MGO, came upon this idea while visiting an older couple in their home.  She was sitting there, just chatting with them when she realized there were no pictures of the two of them anywhere in the house.  She also noted the affection they had for each other and how they brought so much joy and comfort to one another.

So she said, “I’ve noticed how utterly in love the two of you are and how important your relationship is.  I’ve also noticed that you don’t have any pictures of the two of you.  Would you like me to take a picture of you so you can capture this moment?” 

It was pure genius – and a real act of caring.

So the MGO took the picture, had it printed and framed and gave it to the couple.  The couple was just thrilled.  And you can imagine how this simple act really deepened the relationship between the couple and the MGO.

But the MGO decided to take the whole thing a little further.  Here’s what she said to me: “You know, Richard, I just love my donors.  And, if they’ll let me, I want to take a picture of every one of them so that when I retire I can look back at all the wonderful people who have been such a joy to me.” 

Goodness.  Does this get any better?

Here’s an MGO who loves her job, loves her donors and wants to memorialize her experience with them.

As I have thought about this more I realize that this story puts flesh on several major gift principles that Jeff and I have tried to communicate through this blog.

1. It’s not about the money.  The transaction between donors and the non-profits they love is more about relationship and doing things that matter than it is about the money.
2. It’s about being authentic.  What happens between donors and their MGO is about real life, real situations, real pain and sorrow, real joy…  It is about being real with these good people and being a part of their journey.
3. It’s not about a paycheck.  Jeff said it in an earlier blog – the whole thing about being a giving person – about being IN the dynamic of giving vs. outside of it.  This major gift thing is really a journey of the heart in that, to be really successful, you have to be IN it – totally in it.  What I mean is you really have to care about helping the donor do the good they want to do with their money.  And you need to be present to them in their journey as well.  If all you care about is putting in the time and grabbing the paycheck, there are difficult times ahead for you.  Please change that.  Make a decision to invest your heart and yourself into your job.

Make a decision today to find new ways to bring joy into the lives of your donors.  There are so many acts of kindness that cost so little, but that can mean so much.  And if you have stories to tell about creative things you’ve done, please share them with us.

Richard

You’ve heard it at a seminar you attended.  You’ve read it in your “Everything You Need To Know About Major Gifts” book.  You’ve even seen it in our blog when Jeff and I have written that major gifts is about personal relationships and not about direct marketing.

And this IS true.  You can’t run a major gift program with direct marketing strategies.  I have routinely said that if you are just packaging and personalizing the direct mail from your direct marketing program for your caseload donors you will not succeed in successfully cultivating the donor.

So you need to be careful with how you use the mail in your relationship.  I still believe direct mail does not generally work as a major gift strategy.  So, when it comes to mail of any sort, maybe the distinction is “real” mail vs. direct mail.  Direct mail, defined as taking a direct mail kit for the general file and personalizing it for a caseload donor, does not work.  “Real” mail does.  By “real” mail, I mean mail that is written to the caseload donor for a specific and real reason that is related to him or her.

Let me give you an example that comes from a MGO client of ours.  Here’s the background.

The MGO was going through her donor list and noticed the name of a donor who is the heir to the fortune of a well known author.  This author is so well known that if I mentioned the name you would sit up in your chair, believe me!

She did some research and noted that the donor had given only $100.  We normally do not add smaller donors to a caseload even if they do have a lot of potential.  But after talking with me about it, we agreed that the MGO should try to contact and cultivate this donor.  The MGO tried every strategy and tactic to get the donor to engage – and they all failed.

But before giving up she decided to put into operation an old and dependable principle in major gifts:  talk to the donor about something he is interested in and see if that creates some movement in the relationship.

In her research, the MGO had uncovered one non-profit the donor had contributed a seven figure gift to just a few months earlier.  It was a local arts charity that had a small museum attached to it.  She also found that the donor had recently been given a recognition award and that there had been an extensive write-up in a local newspaper.

The MGO did two things with this information.

First, she got in her car and went to the local charity to go through the museum.  She wanted to experience the place that had motivated her donor to give such a large gift.  She spent a good part of the afternoon there, talking to people, getting a feel for the place and just soaking in the energy and ethos of the cause.

The second thing she did was to cut out the newspaper article.

Then she sat down and wrote a piece of “real” mail to the donor.  Here is essentially what she said:

“Dear NAME.  I don’t know if you’ve seen this recent article in the [name of newspaper] where you were given that award last week.  I thought the write-up was really good and I wanted to make sure you got a copy.

Also, reading the article inspired me to visit [name of charity], which I did last Wednesday.   I can see why you love it so much.  There were a couple of very good moments for me while I was there. [The MGO describes the moments]. 

So, congratulations on the award and thank you for loving our community and the [name of the charity] so much to give so generously. 

I also want to thank you for giving to [name of MGO’s charity] and wanted to let you know how your gift has really helped others. [The MGO describes how others have been helped].  Thank you so much for all you do. 

I know you are very busy and may not have had much time to read the materials I have sent earlier.  But if you have any questions, please write or give me a call at [phone number]. 

That was the essence of the “real” mail.

The following week a check for $25,000 showed up from the donor who is now fully engaged.

“Real” mail works.  Please stop sending all that other stuff.

Richard

My family often accuses me (and rightfully so) of not listening to them.  I admit that I often get distracted with technology or I get lost in my own thoughts when I should be clearly focusing on the person in front of me, taking in what is being communicated to me.

I recognize this is something I have to continually work on.  And when I really do listen, I find my relationships with others are much better.

What this tells me is that we all have a desire to feel “heard.”  And when we feel that someone really hears us, we have a deeper appreciation for that person.  That leads to a deeper relationship.

Richard and I have written quite a bit about the importance of listening to your donors.  We’re talking about a listening that goes beyond hearing what they are verbally telling you – a listening in which you commit yourself to a greater awareness about who the donors really are, what their desires are and how they want to use their resources to make a difference.

This takes hard work, focus and real desire on your part.  It’s no small thing to truly listen to your donor.

Recently, I was talking to John (not his real name), an MGO who I help coach. He told me about a donor family he’s been working with this year.

John has a really special quality about him in regards to how in tune he is with other people.  When you are in his presence you feel you have his total attention and focus.  His ability to listen to you and affirm what you are saying is quite amazing.

This year he has been assigned to this family who has given quite a bit to his organization. They are very personally connected to the work of the organization, Lately, however, they have become frustrated because they wanted to fund some very specific projects, that, didn’t quite fit the organization’s objectives and program folks have been pushing back.

The family’s previous giving was in the $10-25K per year range, but they had stopped giving because they saw no movement on their request.

The MGO who had been working with this family previously had left the organization and they were then assigned to John.  John was told this was a challenging and demanding family and that he had his work cut out for him.

John, however, understands the value of listening to his donors.

He scheduled a meeting with this family as soon as he could.  Over the course of six months, he basically sat with them and listened to their concerns, hurts and desires…that’s it, just listened.  At the same time, he went to the program folks and, for six months, listened to their concerns and reasons as to why they were pushing back on this family.

By really listening to both his donor family and program folks, John was able to figure out a fantastic solution that both parties felt really good about.

The result was a three-year commitment for $300,000!  This was way above anything the family had given in the past and way beyond what anyone in leadership of this organization could have imagined.

When John met with the family to sign the gift agreement, one family member spoke up and said with tears in her eyes, “John, thank you for listening to us.”  It was powerful!

Because John had spent the time really listening to his donor and the program staff of his organization he was able to inspire this family to do something incredible for the organization and for them.

John’s story inspires and convicts me.  I know I need to listen more.  I hope you’re listening.

Jeff

Does this sound like you?

I read a blog post from Seth Godin the other day that started me thinking about you.  Your work never ends.  As Seth put it so well:

“For the marketer, the freelancer and the entrepreneur, the challenge is to level set, to be comfortable with the undone, with the cycle of never-ending. We were trained to finish our homework, our peas and our chores. Today, we’re never finished, and that’s okay.”

 He’s right; we are people who like to always finish things.  But as a fundraiser, you know it’s never really finished.  How do you cope with that reality?

I think you can deal with this in one of two ways:

One way would be always striving to “get finished” only to be left frustrated and angry with yourself and others.  Be honest, how much of your stress is actually about not being able to figure out how to get all of your work accomplished?  You rush to finish a proposal while trying to complete a review of a colleague, then realize you have a ton of edits on another proposal you have to get out.  This causes you to snap at people, become grumpy and find yourself in a bad place emotionally.

The other way is to understand, that as a fundraiser, there will always be another donor, another event, another “situation” you will always have to deal with and that it will ALWAYS be that way.  And that is part of the job…knowing that the work never ends.  I think this is what Seth is getting at.  In order for you to ultimately be successful, you have to be comfortable with knowing that not everything is going to get done, that you may not finish all your work…and that it’s all right.  No one is going to die because you didn’t get to everything today…or tomorrow.

For many of you, this is the beginning of a long weekend.  I challenge you to let go of the work and just try to enjoy that time off.  Trust me, the work will be there waiting for you when you return, but you will come back more refreshed for having let it go for a bit.  And it may help you see the work from a new perspective.

I know for myself, when I can do that, I’m much better off.  The problem is that I keep forgetting that until my stress level forces me to take a break.  So the trick is not to let it get to that point.

You’re not going to finish everything.  And, it’s okay.

Enjoy your weekend.

Jeff

Fear is a powerful motivator.  It can motivate you to do some crazy stuff.  I know in my own life fear has gripped me so hard at times that it forbade me to be real, honest and free. When you deal with fear in your own life, it inevitably allows you to see it in others and in institutions.

Personally, when I witness fear, I have this mixed sense of utter sadness and hope all at the same time.  I know that sounds contradictory, but it’s true.

I feel sadness because I can commiserate with that person or organization that is acting out of fear, but  I also feel hope because I know it’s possible to get loose from the grip of fear and move into freedom.

Richard and I have written about fear quite a bit in this blog.  I think that is because both of us have done a lot of inner work identifying our own fears, making us especially tuned into it when we see it faced by colleagues in our industry and non-profits around the country.

This isn’t to say that Richard and I no longer face any fears.  We do.  But, we recognize them now and are there for each other to call them out.

Major Gift Fundraising and fundraising in general is really tough work.  There are extreme highs and equally extreme lows.  As you know, there can be times of stress during the course of the year in which you literally are not sure if you’re going to make it.

And, there can be pressure – a lot of pressure.

This pressure comes from boards, bosses, donors, colleagues, executive directors…and even yourself, all wanting to make sure you are going to “hit” the numbers, say the right things or execute the perfect strategy.

Behind all this pressure is fear.

“I’ll get fired if I don’t make my goal.”  “We won’t be able to create this program if I can’t get this donor to say yes.”  “I’ll make my executive director look bad to the board if we don’t get this funding.”  “If I fail at this I’ll never move up in my career.” “I can’t talk to my boss about this because she’ll hold it against me for years.” “If I recommend this strategy, it could fail.” “I can’t let them execute this new idea because I’ll lose some of my budget and never get it back.” “I can’t resign this position, I’ll never find another job.”

Does any of this sound familiar?  It feels like you’re in the pit of hell.

This is where Richard and I often find the colleagues and organizations with whom we work.  They are gripped so tightly by these fears and others that they don’t move.  We have seen individuals who block strategies, ideas and the growth of colleagues which would improve the organization and allow them to do greater things, all because they are paralyzed by fear.

Are you saddled by fear?

Here is where the “hope” part comes in.  If you can look fear in the eye and realize it’s not going to kill you, you have a chance to find freedom.  Like any paradox in life, it can be a tremendous challenge, but at the same time, very simple.

I know this first hand.

It takes work to overcome fear.  You have to be honest with yourself and with those who are close to you.  But, if you can muster the courage to confront fear, you can be free from it.

Fear prevents us all from moving forward.

Freedom allows us to open our palms and welcome the unknown, embrace change and show grace to one another. It also allows us to take risks, invite collaboration, become bold and courageous and ultimately find the passion we long for in ourselves and in others.

Just think what that can mean in your job and your organization.  Visualize the barriers that could be brought down that are preventing your organization from realizing it’s full potential.

You don’t have to allow fear to take over. Look at it, name it, move it to the side and enter the path to freedom.  That freedom has incredible possibilities for you.

Jeff