Jag har konstaterat att jag nog blivit stor nu. Och det var väl i så fall på tiden. Jag har hela veckan haft någon slags känsla av att jag borde göra något åt att det började närma sig advent. Inte för att jag riktigt kan förstå det utan tror fortfarande att någon tagit bort några veckor i höst. Men hursomhelst så har jag inte gjort ett enda dugg åt denna advent i antågande.

Förr om åren har jag löpt amok om det inte har varit advent på fredag eftermiddag för den första advent. Jag minns år då jag likt en rytande major kommenderat fram ljusstakar i fönstren medan jag själv bytt gardiner och skurat på samma gång. Allt för att sedan, helt utpumpad och med en mindre glad familj, kunna sätta mig ner och “njuta av friden”.

bild lånad från jenflem.wordpress.com

I går kunde jag njuta av lite ledighet och tänkte att det blir bra att pyssla med detta i morgon. Ta lite glögg, spela nån bra musik umgås lite med sambon medan jag kommenderar honom (ja jag vet…men bara lite) att sätta ljusstakar i fönstren. Det får nämligen inte bli fel ljusstake i fel fönster om ni fattar.

Och innan i morgon när mörkret faller kommer det att vara så fint och stämningsfullt så. Och då ska jag för övrigt på Lars Winnerbäck konsert. Det är väl ett trevligt sätt att fira första advent.

A performance appraisal is one of the best and most important ways to recognize a person. When you recognize people in this way you accomplish two objectives. You let the person know how you feel about him and you provide a permanent documentation of the recognition. The documentation will be important to the person’s future growth and advancement within the company.

When you recognize a person through the performance appraisal, make sure you provide as complete a list as possible of his major accomplishments. As you note the accomplishments, be specific. A person who is unfamiliar with the work of the area should be able to read the appraisal and get a fairly complete picture of the person’s accomplishments.

My Consultancy–Asif J. Mir - Management Consultant–transforms organizations where people have the freedom to be creative, a place that brings out the best in everybody–an open, fair place where people have a sense that what they do matters. For details please visit www.asifjmir.com, and my Lectures.

pregnancy cures

How adamantine is it to become pregnant Back accepting sex during her menstrual cycle the boilerplate woman who is not infertile has a one in bristles adventitious of acceptable pregnant. The women who are infertile however face abundant tougher allowance – if they can accept at all. But what are the above causes of infertility in women

Ovulation problems – this is the primary account of infertility in women who accept agitation conceiving. Abundance occurs back a male’s agent fertilizes a woman’s egg. A woman will commonly ovulate or aftermath pregnancy cures an egg about already a month. If a woman has problems in her menstrual aeon or contrarily is not ovulating regularly there will be no egg cat-and-mouse to be fertilized.

Age – due to bearing ascendancy pills and added amusing factors women in accepted are aggravating to become abundant abundant after than beforehand generations. One aftereffect of this is that back they’re accessible to accept accouchement they may acquisition that they are accepting agitation conceiving. Already a woman alcove puberty her abundance begins to badly abatement as her age Cure For Infertility increases. Just as her anatomy is aging Pregnancy Cures the Pregnancy Cures eggs in her abyss are crumbling also. As the affection of the eggs decrease it becomes harder and harder to conceive.

Blocked fallopian tubes – a woman’s fallopian tubes are the ducts in Pregnancy Cures her changeable amplitude through which the egg passes from the ovary to the uterus. Back a woman has blocked fallopian tubes the eggs are not able to accomplish this trip authoritative abundance impossible. Common causes of blocked fallopian tubes are pelvic anarchic diseases or PIDs which affect a woman’s pelvic organs. These can account adhesions and cysts on the fallopian tubes and ovaries which can anticipate an egg from authoritative it to the uterus.

Excessive exercise – back overdone exercise can account a woman to become too thin. This may advance to amenorrhea or missing menstrual cycles and missing periods. In fact ablaze or missing periods could actual able-bodied announce that ovulation has Pregnancy Remedy stopped. If you assignment at a job area you are accomplishing Pregnancy Remedy a lot of concrete activity it is the aforementioned as exercising and can accept the aforementioned effect.

Uterine fibroids – these are amiable tumors that can abound Cure For Infertility in the Pregnancy Remedy uterus possibly causing abundant bleeding or pain. In general they don’t baffle with fertility but it is possible. There accept been cases area these tumors accept blocked the fallopian tubes and prevented the fertilized Cure For Infertility egg from actuality built-in in the uterus. In accession to infertility uterine fibroids can additionally account abortive delivery.

Smoking – smoker can do accident to the changeable systems of both men and women. It can account the accident and abasement of a woman’s eggs. Excess smoker on the allotment of the woman can advance to miscarriages or babies that are built-in with a Pregnancy Cures low bearing weight. In accession to Pregnancy Remedy smoking added chemicals or pregnancy cures drugs that are ingested into the woman’s anatomy can additionally affect fertility.

These are not the alone factors that can affect changeable fertility. Added factors such as booze abuse sexually transmitted diseases and diet can additionally appear into play. So abounding things accept to go appropriate that in abounding ways accepting a babyish is a accurate miracle.

Apulia is the heel of the Italian boot. It is located in the southeast corner of Italy on the Adriatic and Ionian Seas. Apulia was frequently invaded by the ancient Greeks and Romans. Among its many rulers were the Byzantines, Goths, Lombards, Normans, Spaniards, and Turks. Its moment of greatest glory was in the Holy Roman Empire of the 13th Century, when majestic Romanesque cathedrals and palaces were built. This article presents the western and usually northern part of Apulia. A companion article presents the rest of the region.

Apulia’s administrative center is Bari, the biggest city in southern Italy, with a population of over 325 thousand. It is a major port that includes a modern city center and an old town which you won’t want to miss. Everywhere you turn you can see the Adriatic Sea. The pedestrian-only street Via Sparano is the site of evening strolls. The nearby Eleventh Century Bascilica di San Nicola is said to contain the remains of St. Nicholas, yes Santa Claus. According to legend local sailors stole his remains from Turkey. Funny, I always thought that Santa Claus… To the northeast you will find the small port of Trani, once a major Adriatic port. Trani’s attractions include two medieval synagogues and several historic churches.

The spur of Italy’s boot is the Promontorio del Gargano (Gargano Promontory), which is a very popular tourist destination. Its mountain roads are very curvy so pay strict attention to your driving. Near the tip you’ll find the whitewashed town of Vieste which is known for its castle. You should take a ferry from Vieste to the nearby archipelago Isole Tremiti, but remember Tremiti as in tremor. The view is really spectacular.

The Foresta Umbra (Shady Forest) encompasses well over sixty thousand acres. It is home to hundreds of animal species and two thousand plant species many of which are normally associated with northern climes. Monte Sant’Angelo has been a major pilgrim destination for centuries. You’ll want to see the Santuario di San Michele (Sanctuary of San Michele) and the Tomba di Rotari (Tomb of Rotari), a medieval baptistery. Finish your tour of western Apulia at the famous Castel del Monte, a mysterious eight-sided castle built in the Thirteenth Century.

Among Apulia’s classified foods are Clementines, Olives, two Cheeses, and four Olive Oils. Be sure to see our companion article I Love Touring Italy – Western Apulia for a sample menu and more information on Apulia wines as well as an in-depth examination of western Apulia’s tourist attractions. The best-known local wine is Castel del Monte DOC, which is available overseas and is frankly not that great.

Can I major in media photography and minor in medicine, english, broadcasting, advertising, sociology, music, mass communication, public relations, and anthropology?

Can I major in you?

Here is what I came up with last summer while I was trying to help my students choose majors.

Strengths Interests

Values Preferences

The rationale behind the method is that in order to be happy and successful, you have to find the solid ground where all these elements overlap. We agreed that there are numerous ways to earn a decent living, so it would be better to do that in joy rather than in pain.

Strengths: these are the skills you are proud of, what people praise you for

Interests: these are the questions you ask, the topics that make you curious

Preferences: these are your likes and dislikes

Values: these are the pillars of your life – for some values might include family and trust, for others these might be fame and challenge – all these are things you find as essential as air, food and water

You might be a really smart person who can retain myriads of facts in her mind and see how they interrelate (strenths). You might also be interested in biology (interests). Some people might say you should become a doctor. Well, what if you hate dealing with people? (preferences) You’d better become a vet? Mmm, what if you hate the smell of animals and you could never imagine touching them? (preferences). You see, it’s  not as simple as drawing the cliche lines from favourite school subjects to what you could do as a job.

In class we are going to discuss that, and later I might write more on how you discover what your strengths, interests, values and preferences are. Some people feel they don’t have any of these , but that is barely possible. Meanwhile, you might start topics in the forum and discuss them 6 days a week while you are away from our classroom

Tsunku ilmoitti eilen Hello! Project Eggsujen konsertissa videon kanssa, että S/mileage tulee valmistumaan Eggsuista ensi keväänä ja heistä tulee jäseniä. Valmistumispäivää ei olla vielä ilmoitettu.

MoMusu Love toivottaa paljon onnea Maeda Yuukalle, Wada Ayakalle, Fukuda Kanonille ja Ogawa Sakille heidän tulevasta majordebuutistaan!

You know the Crew has to keep supportin’ the scene, especially it’s presence in WDC.

MAJOR DC will be introducing two new collaboration 59FIFTY fitted caps with New Era this Holiday Season. Both hats are inspired by the greatest basketball player to ever play the game and the footwear that he wore during his career. The first cap is the Flu Game Fitted, which will be released on Black Friday, November 27th at midnight to coincide with the release of the Air Jordan XII “Flu Game” sneakers. The second hat, the Space Jam Fitted, will be released on December 23rd at midnight to hookup with the release of the Air Jordan XI “Space Jam”. Both hats feature New Era exclusive Worsterlon wool and a glow in the dark outline of the MAJOR font embroidery.

Major DC, 1426 Wisconsin Avenue, NW, Washington, DC. 20007, 202-625-6732

via Freshnessmag.

Ho

We have a large inventory of new parts for Ford tractors (1939 and later), New Holland, Bolens, Troy-Bilt, Kohler, Tecumseh, and Briggs and Stratton.

Online Parts Lookup Tool

Contact Alan at 717-896-3414 or parts_sweigardbros@yahoo.com

We also have a large inventory of NOS (New Old Stock) parts for Ford tractor, New Holland, Dearborn, Ferguson, Bolens, Troy-Bilt, Garden Way, Fordson Major, Fordson Dexta, Ford 6000, 9N, 2N, 8N, NAA, Golden Jubilee, 600, 601, 800, 801, 900, 901, 2000, 3000, 4000, 5000, New Idea,  Avco, Woods, Wood Brothers, Tecumseh, Lauson, Briggs and Stratton, Kohler, Sauder, and others.  Give us a call or send an email.  We will be happy to check if we have it.

We also have hard to find plow shares, moldboards, landsides, shins, coulter parts and other plow parts to fit Ford, Dearborn, and Ferguson.

Nestling in the Aravali hills, in the midst of the arid plains and denuded tracts of Rajasthan in North India, lies Ranthambhore. Ranthambhore National Park is hailed as one of India’s finest wildlife sanctuaries. A hunting reserve for the Maharajas of Jaipur, the park was once open to only the select few.

But gone are the days of it being the destination of royal hunting parties, Ranthambhore is now strictly a home to India’s wildlife. Nearly 400 sq kms, the Park is set between the Aravalli and Vindhya range, its forests once a part of the magnificent jungles of central India. Today, Ranthambhore is famous for its tigers and is often referred to as the best place to see these majestic predators of the wild.

Ranthambhore’s unique climatic and vegetation features have given rise to forests that are dry and open with little and shunted ground cover. This makes wildlife viewing relatively easier on the safari. And three major lakes Rajbaugh, Milak talao and Padam talao serve as watering holes for the herbivorous and carnivorous creatures that inhabit this National Park.
Geographical Details:

Longitude: From 76-23-00 E to 76-39-00-E
Latitude: From 25-54-00 N to 26-12-00 N
Average rainfall: 800mm
Temperature: Min 4, Max 47 (deg.cel.)

Area Details:

Total area: 392.5 sq.km
Core area: 274.50 sq.km
Buffer area: 118.00 sq.km

Seasons and Climate:

Cold: October to march (good animal sightings, best time for bird watching)
Warm: April to June (excellent animal sighting)
Wet: July to September (national park is closed)

Ranthambhore National Park is the only place where all God’s creatures struck about the stage in all their majesty. There are around 320 species of birds, both resident and migratory, over 40 species of mammals and over 35 species of reptiles. The major Mammals that are found in Ranthambhore National Park are Tiger, Leopard, Jungle Cat, Caracal, Spotted Deer/Chital, Nilgai, Sambar Deer, Wild Boar and Jackal.

And the major Birds that are found are Graylag Goose, Woodpeckers, Indian Gray Hornbills, Common Kingfishers, Bee Eaters, Cuckoos, Parakeets, Asian Palm Swift, Owl and Nightjars.

or: Let’s all be honest, you would rather find boas than bombs in a closet

or: fun fact, gays can smell terrorists…but sadly they can’t tell us

Right now in Washington D.C., there are investigations in to the recruiting policies and monitoring of enlisted soldiers as to their religious affiliation in congruence with the mental stability of our soldiers. These hearings and investigative panels, of which there was one Thursday led by I-Joe Lieberman, are the direct result of the alleged actions at Fort Hood on Nov. 5, 2009, by Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan. Investigations are going to delve deep, eventually, and massive overhauls of privacy rights for soldiers and further screening in recruiting as well as monitoring while in the armed forces will come, doubt on this can be none. These findings of the panels will be arbitrary at best on an isolated incident that has been categorized as ‘terrorism’ before the blood even dried in Texas. What will come out of this fear is policies put in place to allow for the government to monitor and spy on it’s servicemen and women…but what if they find something they don’t want to? How does this new ideology that will come from the aftermath of this tragedy affect the long standing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy put in place under Bill Clinton? Reconciling our fear of attack and the consequences of full disclosure run contradictory leaving us in nothing less than a moral and legal stalemate.

I foresee that within six months from now panels will find that monitoring the personal e-mails, contacts, phone records, and personal interactions of its soldiers as necessary to the further security of this nation. It will be stipulated that extensive background checks will be called for, and recruiting standards are going to come under close scrutiny as to allow for enough soldiers, but not let in too many ‘questionable’ individuals. What will occur is that each soldier will have to agree to give up their civil liberties, which to some extent they already do, but they will now be under full discretion of the Patriot Act and every facet of their lives will be a matter of military record and available for review at all times. Psychological exams and test as well as regular counseling and drug testing will be mandatory. Before enlisting every soldier will be subject to military, and the finding of the hearings will also dictate an outside department, the FBI, to fully screen every single candidate. Becoming a solider will now become a moment of being all that you can be, and then letting the government see exactly what that is, intimately.

Will this be the right path? Time will tell, as will public outcry or protest from soldiers, but it will happen. The nation is terrified at the possibility of the very idea that some ‘terrorist’ could possibly infiltrate US military defenses, weapons stockpiles, et al, and as with 9/11 we will allow for the government to take any measure to assure our safety. No doubt that incidents against Muslim servicemen and women will go up, we probably won’t hear about it though. As a minority, especially of middle eastern decent, they will be profiled and most likely scrutinized further than anyone else; they will be unfairly profiled, this is America and that is our knee-jerk reaction. Sorry. What will follow will be a Muslim witch hunt that will both embarrass and weaken the strength of our branches of the military. The shifting eyes from soldier to soldier started on that day, don’t pretend they didn’t, and now we are weary of one another which leads to fear which leads to incidents. Indeed.

Well, how does this effect those in the military who are under a prime directive put forth by the Commander in Chief, the President of the United States? What happens to those men and women serving, or wanting to serve, in the military who have something to hide because it is the law? For those in the military who must keep their sexual orientation and relationships secret, don’t you think that with enough snooping for terrorists we might uncover a few gays? “Sir, Private Jones is not a terrorist, he’s a queen, sir.” What then? It kind of defeats the purpose of a law that stipulates that a serviceman will not initiate a conversation on the nature of a soldiers orientation, but what if an investigation does the leg work for him? Then we have a primary issue, once it is known the soldier must be discharged, right? That’s the law. Wait, but we weren’t looking for gays, we were looking for terrorists. Look the other way then, but wait, that soldier is a gay…back to the shifty eyes.

What these investigations present us with a need to take a good, long look in the mirror as a nation and decide where we draw the line. The end result of this incident, the longest standing victim besides those killed, injured, and effected, will be the policies of full disclosure and something I think will be called the ‘Servicemen Activities/Identity Transparency’ act, or “say-it” (SA/IT, get it?), the antithesis of the DADT policy of today. This will, of course, require that we have full disclosure from all troops on all subjects, but this might be hard without first ending the DADT policy of the last nearly 17 years. Installing this policy shift without repealing DADT will be one slippery slope indeed, you cannot have two orders that are so utterly contradictory; they are both compromised by the presence of the other. We, as a country cannot have a full investigatory policy of all servicemen and women without first coming to terms with what we may find and how to deal with it. Has anyone even given a thought as to how we would arrest, imprison, court martial, sentence, or just discharge, a serviceman or woman…if they were either gay or a terrorist? How the hell would either of those proceedings go? We need to, before putting in new policies, decide about the end game and what the consequences might be if we got our wish and started outing people.

It is clear that there is a fundamentally philosophical issue at hand, “How much do we want to know to feel safe?” We are shining the light of scrutiny in to the closets of our citizens, and some of those closets may be quite flamboyant; that is not a military issue boa. What will happen to our puritanical beliefs and ‘ignorance is bliss’ mentality when we find answers to questions we weren’t asking? We want safety, but we don’t want [to know about] queers; what the fuck do scared, bigoted lawmakers do!? Well, I think in the interest of national security after this singular isolated incident of ‘terrorism’ by and ‘islamic extremist’ that is not the fault of policy or of any specific layer of governance, that we need to DO something; or at least appear to do something. We will rape the civil rights of soldiers and sodomize personal privacy for the good of the nation. However, this cannot go on while DADT is in place. I think I speak for everyone that, in this matter of relative safety, we can’t have two standing orders that contradict themselves; “Say It” and “DADT” cannot both be followed, and in the interest of the people’s feelings of safety, we might want to get over ourselves and be open about…everything, so as to further secure this country. I can’t speak from experience, but I would rather the man in a foxhole next to me be a confirmed ‘gay’ than a suspected ‘terrorist’, but that’s just me.

MAJOR DC dropped this collab fitted with New Era back in late May, but it just caught my attention.  For all of you sneakerheads out there, the whole MAJOR DC and New Era fam searched to find the exact materials and fabrics used on the Nike Dunk Low Pro SB “Diamond” sneakers or commonly known as “Tiffany’s” due to their resemblence of the Tiffany jewellery box.  This hat is by far one of the most detailed I’ve seen in the last little while.  The front and back of the cap feature the MAJOR DC “Trinity” logo and “3 Stars” logo in black, outlined in metallic silver.  The inside of the cap features MAJOR DC’s “Step-N-Repeat” logo imprinted on the satin lining, while the top button is done in silver satin, inspired by the ribbons used when packaging fine gems. 

SOURCE: MAJOR DC

SPALI – SUPALAI PUBLIC COMPANY LIMITED
11月の終わりより、徐々に買い戻し株を市場に放出してゆく予定。来年度は売上20%増の計画。

TRUE – TRUE CORPORATION PUBLIC COMPANY LIMITED
2010年度は地下埋設の光ファイバーケーブル補修の許可を得次第True Internet Gatewayに3億バーツの投資。

S&P – S & P SYNDICATE PUBLIC COMPANY LIMITED
本年度は9%の成長であったらが来年度はさらに上をゆく12%の成長を計画。

PTT – PTT PUBLIC COMPANY LIMITED
2009年の利益は昨年度よりも良くなる可能性。年初より9ヶ月で400億バーツ以上の利益。

TKT – T.KRUNGTHAI INDUSTRIES PUBLIC COMPANY LIMITED
2010年度の売上は10億バーツで、本年度の実績8億5千万バーツよりも伸ばす計画。

PTTCH – PTT CHEMICAL PUBLIC COMPANY LIMITED
2010年度事業計画に合わせて、アセアン域内での事業拡張について研究中。

TTA – THORESEN THAI AGENCIES PUBLIC COMPANY LIMITED
4銀行よりの協調融資2億米ドル、タイバーツで68億バーツをビジネス拡張のための3つの新規事業に投資。また、これ以上必要になればさらなる融資を受けることも検討。

MAJOR – MAJOR CINEPLEX GROUP PUBLIC COMPANY LIMITED
Q4の営業成績は改善。カリフォルニアWOWフィットネスクラブの持ち株を減らしたことと、映画館への集客の増加で。（Info Quest 11月20日配信）

Nella lunga battaglia fra i fautori alla lotta alla pirateria ad oltranza ed i contrari, è sceso in campo anche Stanley Kirk Burrell, alias MC Hammer, famoso soprattutto negli anni 80 e 90 ma che ha influenzato profondamente la cultura e la musica hip hop, il quale avrebbe detto che finora la strategia per la lotta alla pirateria è stata tutta sbagliata e fa perdere solo i clienti paganti.

Come sappiamo molti artisti si sono schierati da una parte o dall’altra della contesa da Lily Arden che aveva aperto un blog per sostenere che la lotta alla pirateria era giusta ai Radiohead ed a Moby che hanno diffuso liberamente le loro opere su internet e pensano che le associazioni anti-pirateria e soprattutto la RIAA dovrebbero lasciare stare i loro fan.

Della stessa idea è MC Hammer, il quale dice che molte colpe le ha l’industria musicale che non vuole aggiornarsi ai tempi e rendersi conto che la musica digitale è il presente non il futuro.

Un tale oscurantismo, secondo lui, porta le industrie musicali ad incaponirsi a voler vendere CD a gente che magari non ha mai posseduto un lettore standard CD e trova difficoltà anche nell’aprire la confezione del disco che poi userà esclusivamente sul suo computer.

Altra cosa assurda, sempre secondo lui, sono processi tipo quello AFACT contro iinet, in cui le major si interstardiscono a voler risarcimenti dall’ISP perchè non ha disconnesso i clienti violatori del copy-right.

Sarebbe come affermare che è colpevole l’uomo che ha venduto la pistola ad un omicida, oppure come incolpare i costruttori di un’autostrada di un furto avvenuto sulla stessa.

La legge, infatti, non dovrebbe permettere questi collegamenti assurdi, sfruttando anche il fatto della scarsa conoscenza del mondo di internet delle corti dei tribunali e soprattutto dei mezzi che permettono la libera condivisione dei contenuti.

Per concludere secondo Hammer le vendite digitali crescono esponenzialmente di anno in anno, la crisi del CD è più un segno dei tempi, che colpa della pirateria musicale.

Fonte Torrent Freak
Articolo italiano a cura di Janet su p2patuttonet.it
Licenza CC http://www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.5/it/

L’industria discografica sostiene da tempo che i nuovi artisti soffrono enormemente a causa della massiccia condivisione di file e solo gli artisti riconosciuti sono un pò più al sicuro dal pericolo che essa rappresenta.

Tuttavia, molti artisti della new wave hanno dimostrato che ciò non è vero.
Dan Mangan è un altro artista per il quale file-sharing non è un demone divora-entrate ma un modo per raggiungere un pubblico più ampio.

Nice, Nice, Very Nice, l’ultimo album di Mangan, è stato ben accolto dalla critica e dal pubblico in Canada, e ha gli ha fruttato un premio di $ 25.000 come “Artist of the Year Awards” all’XM Verge awards.
L’artista sarà presto in tour nei paesi europei come Francia, Germania, Olanda e Regno Unito.

“Non mi importa se le persone condividono la mia musica, se scaricare o piratare in formato digitale una canzone porta gente ad un concerto e quindi ad un vero faccia a faccia, un’interazione umana, magari portando un amico e forse comprando una t -shirt, tutto ciò è davvero grande per me“, dice Mangan.

Mangan has accounts on both Facebook and Myspace (like most young artists nowadays) to help him keep in touch with his fans but also a site for anyone interested in his works at www.danmanganmusic.com .
Mangan ha account su entrambi Facebook e MySpace (come la maggior parte dei giovani artisti al giorno d’oggi) per aiutarlo a tenersi in contatto con i suoi fans ma anche un sito per chiunque sia interessato nelle sue opere a www.danmanganmusic.com.

Il suo punto di vista sulla condivisione di file si riassume con poche parole molto ispirate:
“Anche se l’industria musicale è cambiato così tanto e la gente compra sempre meno CD, mi rifiuto di credere che le persone non vogliono sostenere l’arte in cui credono“.

Fonte: http://www.p2pon.com/2009/11/18/canadian-artist-supports-file-sharing/

Schools are closed and homes evacuated as torrential rain leads to widespread flooding across Cumbria…. From BBC News. Full story

This site may contain information about: elementary school. For a different topic see use it in a sentence. The blog is also related to: grades.

Well, today seemed to be interesting. I mean, it proved to be interesting at least. I had to turn in my rough draft for my research paper for English. It’s  on the use of Neuromuscular Electrical Stimulation for the treatment of dysphagia in speech pathology patients. Yeah, real interesting, right? Well, I didn’t think so either, but it had to be “involved” with our major (Communication Disorders) and be a “major topic”, trust me, that’s all I could find. Anyway, after that, I also had my 3rd test for Elementary Statistics, which I didn’t get to finish studying for. So, considering i’m not so hot in the math department, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have another “retake” on my hands. [face palm].

My dad picked me up at 7p and we somehow got to talking about my needing a new job closer to home. I, for some reason, hate it when he used those words. “Closer to home”?! What does that even mean?! I told him, rather frustrated with the thought, that I’m not going to be living with them forever and that I’d rather be closer to school, if anything. He went on to say that he works in sales and he knows what its like wanting to get away from people. That thats why he likes living all the way over here in the outskirts where we live, so he could get away from everyone. The problem with his logic is thinking that it applies to me.

Sure, I dislike certain people. I want to get away. But, be it a stage in life or simply a concept that I’m trying to get rid of… it’s them I want to get away from the most.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family. I love their quirks and their ridiculousness. But I also hate it. I hate feeling trapped, as if I have nowhere else to go. I hate that it feels like they hold me down. Always try to keep me in the valley, where I have family, “close to home”. It all bothers me.

My sister and her husband, who happen to live across the street from school, offered me their extra room in their apartment. They offered it to me since I found out I couldn’t afford to go back to Austin. This time, they’re for real about it and want to legitimately lay it out for my parents, who seem to think that I’m forcing myself into their house. See, my parents, everytime I even bring up spending the night to help out with Melina (my niece), seem to think that I’m bombarding them and getting in the way. All i’m doing is helping. That’s why they want me to live with them, even if just for the 3 months of the semester. They haven’t talked to my dad about it, and I know he’s going to say no. That i’m in the way. That it’s ungrateful and unnecessary. But honestly, it’s perfect.

I think I’m going to suffocate in this house.

There’s too much pressure to conform to their wishes. My sister got out by getting married. I got out by going to Austin. Then I got sucked back in, and even if I am only 30 minutes away from them, I feel like it will be 600 miles. It will liven up the load and the hold they have on me. I’ll probably even learn to love them again, the way I did before any of this began.

I’m just not who they want me to be.

I wanted to be in Karate, but my dad said it wasn’t for girls. I wanted to be in gymnastics, but my dad said that they’re sluts. I wanted to go to the Air Force, but my dad said that I wouldn’t be able to handle it and that it’s also not for girls. It wasn’t until I got into cheerleading (because my dad didn’t like it) and that I went away to Austin (because it’s for school and they couldn’t stop me) that I got any kind of freedom.

I just want it back.