According to a Modern Language Association forecast, faculty positions in literature, composition, and foreign languages will decline 37 percent next year, for the biggest drop in 35 years. The previous record was set last year, with a 26 percent drop.

So things do not look bright in English depts. around the country, including mine, at the University of Delaware.

Rosemary Feal, the executive director of the MLA, told the New York Times:

Students thinking of going to graduate school in English should understand that right now their chance of landing a job that provides them a livable wage is 50-60 percent. What I often hear from grad students is, ‘I had no clue it was this bad.’ They need to go into it with their eyes wide open.

Much of the discussion on this bad news has centered on whether, in this kind of job market, graduate programs should continue to churn out PhDs who, even if they do find a suitable job to apply for, will be one of 300 or 400 applicants. One of the people commenting on the Chronicle of Higher Education article on the news did not spare the sarcasm, observing:

I am certain that responsible English departments everywhere will sharply restrict their literature graduate enrollments in light of this data. I am equally certain that departments with weak placement rates for their graduates will consider limiting or even eliminating their graduate programs, since their grads do not appear to compete well in the market. Finally, I am absolutely certain that grad programs in English will appropriately advise their current literature students on the risks of the market and counsel them to avoid accumulating debt to earn a degree that is oversupplied.

I am sure of these things because my literature colleagues are wise and practical people who care deeply about their students and their field.

I wonder what my distinguished colleague Charles Robinson, who for two decades and more has been helping UD PhDs find jobs, makes of all this. In fact, I am going to ask him right now.

—Ben

I hate my Brit Lit class.

Not because of my teacher – I actually really like him.

Not because of the assignments – I’ll admit, there’s a lot of homework, but it’s managable.

Because of the other students.

They all take everything personally- differentiating interpretations of poetry, when you use a word they don’t know, when you answer a question when they knew the answer, too, but the teacher picked your hand first. It’s terrible.

And here’s the thing. I’m normally in AP English. But this year, there was a scheduling conflict with AP Englsih 12 and Advanced Music Concepts. My major is music, not English, so I took the music course (And thanks to Music Concepts, my first theory class in college will be mostly review).

But being in Brit Lit sucks.  I have a couple people who are also in choir around me in that class, so I tried venting to a friend I which thought would understand my frustration. Here’s how that conversation went:

           “Oh, my word. Everyone in this class takes everything personally! Everything. It’s so frustrating, you know?”
          ”….Oh, gee thanks.“

….Followed promptly by pouting and acting insulted. He took it personally! Irony – At one of its most irritating scenarios.

And I was all, “…Really, Nathan??” And he started to emo-ly mumble his argument about why his feelings are hurt and he’s insulted and his ego can’t handle my not-geared-towards-people-I-like irritation.

I glazed over, gave up, and put my head on the desk for the rest of class.

Overly-sensitive, ignorant people with low self esteems amd false senses of superiority who make mountains out of mole hills. That is what my Brit Lit class seems to be full of.

If you’re still reading this, I’m impressed.

Also, it’s our last week before Christmas Break. So all the teachers are assigning packets of homework and projects to do on our break and trying to get tests in before we’re ready for them before break. So the students are antsy and angsty and moody and lathargic and hormonal and hard to deal with and all any of anyone wants is more time, less stress, and for break to come ASAAAPPPP.

rrrrrrrrrrrr.

Interesting conundrums befall college students (interesting, as in, ones that don’t involve money, dating, or ramen). I recently got the chance to truly reflect upon myself, as far as what I’m doing right now, majoring in the field of “Undecided”. Standing on this fence that crosses the lawns of Liberal/Fine Arts and Psychology is starting to get tiring.

I was recently opened to the fact that nothing in Psychology interests me besides the thought processes of human beings. You can’t just skip ahead of the boring stuff and dive into a fruitful career into studying/counseling people. In fact, there isn’t a clear cut way to that. No matter how I draw the picture, science is involved. I hate it.

No, I don’t hate it…I loathe the fact that I know what I love, and I can’t keep using excuses (whether they be disappointing my parents and family, or what-have-you). I have to face the facts: I am terrified of majoring in Theatre, or anything “Liberal Artsy”.

I keep telling myself that a Bachelors is only a piece of paper that I can use to get a job while I work on my masters, but I still haven’t immersed myself completely into acceptance.

Interesting conundrums befall college students (interesting, as in, ones that don’t involve money, dating, or ramen). I recently got the chance to truly reflect upon myself, as far as what I’m doing right now, majoring in the field of “Undecided”. Standing on this fence that crosses the lawns of Liberal/Fine Arts and Psychology is starting to get tiring.

I was recently opened to the fact that nothing in Psychology interests me besides the thought processes of human beings. You can’t just skip ahead of the boring stuff and dive into a fruitful career into studying/counseling people. In fact, there isn’t a clear cut way to that. No matter how I draw the picture, science is involved. I hate it.

No, I don’t hate it…I loathe the fact that I know what I love, and I can’t keep using excuses (whether they be disappointing my parents and family, or what-have-you). I have to face the facts: I am terrified of majoring in Theatre, or anything “Liberal Artsy”.

I keep telling myself that a Bachelors is only a piece of paper that I can use to get a job while I work on my masters, but I still haven’t immersed myself completely into acceptance. And perhaps, if I can’t just throw myself wholeheartedly into Theatre…then am I worthy of doing it at all?

Do you need help choosing a major? Are you eager to identify a course of study that reflects your academic strengths and interests as well as your professional goals?

The Academic Advising Center will be offering a non-credit course in the spring called “EXPLORE: MAJOR DECISIONS & CAREER PLANNING.” The course is designed to help you explore your strengths, interests, and values – as well as the academic opportunities here at Tulane University – so that you can make informed decisions about your education and begin to lay the foundation for a rewarding professional life.

Where do you sign up?

To reserve a space in “Explore” for spring, please e-mail Patrick Godbey at pgodbey@tulane.edu and indicate your time preference:

1. Tuesdays, 5-6 p.m.

2. Wednesdays, 5-6 p.m.

3. Thursdays, 5-6 p.m.

Classes will meet weekly for one hour in the evening starting the third week of the semester (the week of January 25^th). Each section will be relatively small (15 to 20 students) and will be facilitated by two academic advisors. Students will be using an workbook titled Selecting a College Major: Exploration and Decision Making as well as reading and discussing short articles related to major selection and success in college. (The workbook will be available in the Tulane University Bookstore.)

Your success is very important to us, and – if you need help choosing a major – I hope you will take full advantage of this opportunity.

By Kaitleen Gillis

Emmanuel College Education Club is holding two events of interest to anyone who is an education major or may be interested in becoming an education major. Tomorrow, Thursday December 3^rd will be “Meet the Education Department.” This event is being held between 12:30-1:30pm (activities period) in the Library G 18 classroom. This is an opportunity for anyone considering education as a major to meet professors and find out more about the program. Current education majors are welcome too. This is a great chance to ask any questions you may have about MTELs, studying abroad, or anything else you want to know about the education program at Emmanuel. Next up on Education Club’s calendar in the “Pre-Prac Forum.” What is a pre-prac? Come to this event and find out! The forum will occur on Monday, December 7^th from 8-9pm in the JYC glass room. Current education majors who have already completed pre-practicums will be there to discuss their experiences and answer any questions. Need more information on these events: Check the EC Portal

By Michael Mark, Creative Director & CEO

So you’re a scratch, maybe you have a weekly high-stakes automatic press blood match, you may be the club champ himself. Maybe you’ve walked the Majors so many times you got rope burn – it doesn’t matter. You cannot really understand what is inside the playing professional’s mind – his thoughts, her emotions — feel his twitches, you cannot be awed by her coldness and precision – unless you are on the bag.  Johnny Miller and Nick Faldo, good talkers as they are, will always come up short. The deeply personal behind-the-scenes profiles in magazines like this one may be close enough for a gimme but if you want to get all the way there, you need to get yourself to a Duramed FUTURES Tour player and get on her bag.

I did, and here are some tips from a first-timer. Play well.

Lesson one: keep control of the animals out there.

The baby penguin 5 metal head cover started in on me first. At the practice range, the fluffy thing kept slipping off the head forcing my attention off a series of my Pro’s warm-up shots. I needed to take inventory of her game, and this fowl was messing with me.

Then on the first tee my of my professional career my Pro reached past the floppy dragon driver cover for the droopy sunflower, revealing the rescue two where the 3 mental belonged. She gave me a “you know there’s a difference between a caddy and a bag carrier and you look like a bell-hop” look.

The stupid, fluffy, numberless head covers had switched on me on the range and left me to melt in my own sweat. My Pro hadn’t spiked a tee in the ground and I had already botched it. Would I ever gain her confidence? She took the three metal and I stepped back with the bag, head bowed, shamed, thinking of recipes for penguin stew, fried penguin, penguin on a stick.

Lesson two: your towel is your job.

I first noticed the damp, green terry cloth square had been stolen when my Pro handed me her wedge after she worked 7 gentle 110 yard fades and one slight pull on the range.  She went to work her 9 iron and I reached for the stained towel that minutes ago I’d used to wipe away nothing from her putter as she marched to the range from the practice green. A quick check of the crime scene showed no evidence. I spied over at the other caddies: proud fathers, overheated uncles in too-tight shorts, tender-faced brothers of other players: ruthless bastards.

I stayed caddy-calm, motioning to my Pro that I needed to go potty real bad, and ran knocked-kneed to hunt the holy green hand rag. Guilt got the better of the perpetrator. Like a note of confession, it was hanging over a post on the fence near the practice green. I held on to that shmata the rest of day like it was my job.

Lesson 3: Doubt cannot enter a player’s swing or a caddy’s mindset ever.

These words came out of my mouth at various times during the round, all aimed at my player’s confidence:

“Sweet, focus, smooth power, good putt-great roll (in one phrase as if they were different or would engage a distinct part of her putting brain), you almost got that one (when she clearly got it all and then some), they heard that one in the parking lot (it came out, who knows what it meant), hey what’s the loft on that? bad break keep stroking like that, zero in, commit, see it and execute it.”

Never knowing if I was annoying, confusing, amusing, cajoling, inspiring, depressing embarrassing my player.

I focused her when I sensed she was uncertain by saying, “take your time, lock-in then pull the trigger.” I tuned in to the natural pace in her movements to get a sense of how she was feeling. If she was moving too quickly to get over the ball, I asked, “what do you see?’  If she looked too often at her yardage book, I asked, “how much we got?”  When she was lagging more than a stride I handed her a bottle of water, and when she pulled out the driver with a too aggressive tug, I’d ease her with” tempo.” 

Lesson 4: I freely admit these transgressions:

Three times I forgot to the take the pin from the other caddy when it was time for my player to putt.

I forgot the towel with the bag so I wiped the ball 4 times with my shirt.

I put the bag on the wrong side of the hole for the next tee twice.

I did pour ice water on my player’s towel and wrapped it around her neck – that, she liked, even though when she gasped I wasn’t sure.

I misread almost all the putts – good thing on the first hole, when she asked for my opinion, I said, “I trust you on these, boss.”

Once, unintentionally mind you, I rustled clubs in a competitor’s back swing, causing her to blade a 40 yarder over the green, down a wooded incline, setting up a neat double bogey.

Another time, I mindlessly clapped the magnet putter shut while the other opponent was in her pre-shot routine, adding a stuttered pause, extra half back step and throwing off her routine. 

Lesson 5: Do the Caddy Dance.

Follow after me and keep the beat, and here..we..go: 1- wait for the instant her ball touches onto the green 2- once it hits the green, pull the too-tight magnetic putter cover off fast enough to 3- take her iron from her 4- as you get the putter in her hand before she makes two steps toward her ball so she can walk with confidence towards her putt 5- fit the non- geometric shape of the putter cover into your pocket – she liked it there, she said, ‘cause it helped her make putts (see, she noticed – we were communing)  6- run up to grab her iron’s divot, 7- run back to set it neatly back into the fairway, quick two step-step – then 8- yank up dead-weighted bag onto your shoulder and trundle towards the green while 9- wiping the dirt from the grooves of the club that got her on the green to 10- drop bag, to the greenside nearest the next tee box 11- take the wet part of the towel and give the ball a quality wipe and 12- deposit it clean and prepped to fall in her hands all in time with the relentless, perfectly set caddy/player clock – not a time piece but a piece that keeps her timing. Oh, and 13- get the flag when she putts. Cha-cha-cha.

Lesson 6:Some encouragements should not be offered:

I said, “great drive, nice up and down, good roll…”  to the other players in the group – until then I got the sense via a creepy look from my boss that my business was not to enjoy and celebrate great golf, my purpose was to get my player around the course in the fewest strokes possible.

Lesson 7: The answer is: don’t ask the question:

My biggest gaffe came on the last hole when I asked what she thought of the speed of the greens. We were chugging towards her 12 footer for birdie, racing the applause of thunder so we could avoid a delay in the clubhouse. She left it 3 feet short totally because I placed the wrong thought in her head. I directed her senses toward speed – what I should have done was put the idea of making the putt in her hands. I missed that one.

What you will see and do that will make you think you have never played golf before

I played golf that day. Maybe for the first time. My course was the golfer and the tee boxes, fairways and greens. I monitored the direction of the wind and her temperament. I inspected the lie and her countenance. I measured the yardage and her focus. I channeled the strength of her spirit at the moment and measured it against the place we were on the course and cross-referenced how she executed the previous shot with something she just said partly under her breath. I got in close enough to hear the inner whispers of doubts before they hardened into fear, tapped into her blood’s current, checking for energy level, and remained just far enough away so she would not detect my presence as an intrusion.

Is it fair that caddies feel responsible for such outcomes? You have to accept responsibility. Good caddies live in the dappled shade of intuition and insinuation in a town called Connectivity. Make your movements work with hers as naturally as the back swing blends into the down swing. It is a harmony the caddy must master.

There were no crowds out there – no ropes, no corporate tents, no leader boards – just the hard-grinding-last-breath-in-your-gut golf you read about at Q school. Desperation against prayer vs. hope, nature takes on nature, will meets up with fear. All or nothing golf. You want to see shots that matter, come out here. You only interested in the glitz and glam of a highlight real, balls that attack the pin and hop past then zip back to inches and the like – check out the slicksters on the PGA. Even the mediocre shots caught my breath as they were all struck with such utter intention. Each meant so much.  And though I didn’t touch a club with any intentions of swinging it, I was in every shot as deeply as if I had hit every one.

This improved my game

I learned about ball striking as if I’d had ten one-on-one lessons. She put on a personal clinic – everything was level with the pin. All day. Even when she was wide.

She has answers to those questions that have plagued me for years: how to stop a ball when you’re short-sided, in 3 inch rough from above the hole – how to read blue bent, how to keep it going when the meter has been so passed empty it’s blinking vulture bait. You want those answers – all it takes is a meeting between back and bag.

A caddy’s job is never done

I texted my pro late the night of my caddy debut, knowing I couldn’t work the next day – my other work called: “If the greens are rolling the same pace tomorrow, read a bit less break and stroke with a touch more pace.” It took me a long time to find the words.

I hoped she wasn’t sleeping and the buzz of her phone wouldn’t wake her up and out of her timing.  We caddies think about that kinda stuff.

Caddy to caddy advice

When she took back her bag after carding a one under 71, my Pro said that I could caddy for her anytime. It is my full intention to do so. I was a caddy on the Duramed Futures Tour. My professional advice to all golfers is that you should too.

                                              ###

Michael Mark carries a 6 index.

Tag Team Match

Cryme Tyme vs The Hart Dynasty

Vencedor: The Hart Dynasty

_______________________________________________________________

Single Match

CM Punk ( c/ Luke Gallows) vs Matt Hardy

Vencedor: Matt Hardy

_______________________________________________________________

#1 Contender Match

Kane vs Batista

Vencedor: Batista

_______________________________________________________________

Intecontinental Championship Match

John Morrison vs Eric Escobar

Vencedor: John Morrison

_______________________________________________________________

Single Match

Undertaker vs Chris Jericho

Vencedor: Undertaker

_______________________________________________________________

Championship Series Round 1

Abyss vs Bobby Lashley (c/ Kristal)

Vencedor: Bobby Lashley

_______________________________________________________________

Championship Series Round 1

Desmond Wolf vs Suicide

Vencedor: Desmond Wolf

_______________________________________________________________

Championship Series Round 1

D´Angelo Dinero vs Kurt Angle

Vencedor: Kurt Angle

_______________________________________________________________

Championship Series Round 1

Homicide vs Robert Roode

Vencedor: Robert Roode

_______________________________________________________________

Knockouts Battle Royal

Hamada vs Daffney vs Alissa Flash vs Traci vs Lacey vs Velvet Sky vs Madison Rayne vs Taylor Wilde vs Sarita vs Tara

Vencedor: Tara

_______________________________________________________________

Championship Series Round 2

Desmond Wolf vs Bobby Lashley

Vencedor: Bobby Lashley

_____________________________________________________________

Championship Series Round 2

Kurt Angle vs Robert Roode

Vencedor: Robert Roode

______________________________________________________________

Championship Series Final

Robert Roode vs Bobby Lashley

vencedor: Bobby Lashley

Non Title Match

The Miz vs. Santino Marella

Vencedor: The Miz

_______________________________________________________________

Single Match

Vladimir Koslov (c/ William Regal) vs. Goldust

Vencedor: Vladimir Koslov

_______________________________________________________________

Single Match

R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler

Vencedor: R-Truth

#1 Contender Match

Zack Ryder vs Shelton Benjamin

Vencedor: Shelton Benjamin

_______________________________________________________________

Single Match

Vance Archer vs. Alex Reynolds

Vencedor: Vance Archer

_______________________________________________________________

Single match

Yoshi Tatsu vs Willian Regal

Vencedor: Yoshi Tatsu

Breakthrough Qualifying Match

Kofi Kingston vs Dolph Ziggler

Vencedor: Kofi Kingston

_______________________________________________________________

Breakthrough Qualifying Match

Sheamus vs Finlay

Vencedor: Sheamus

________________________________________________________________

Non Title Match

CM Punk vs John Cena

Vencedor: John Cena

_______________________________________________________________

Breakthrough Qualifying Match

Jack Swagger, Chavo Guerrero e Chris Masters vs MVP, Mark Henry e R-Truth

Vencedor: MVP, Mark Henry e R-Truth

_______________________________________________________________

Breakthrough Qualifying Match

Randy Orton vs Evan Bourne

Vencedor: Randy Orton

_______________________________________________________________
Indias vs Peregrinas Match

Melina, Kelly Kelly e Mickie James vs Michelle McCool, Layla e Jillian

Vencedor: Melina, Kelly Kelly e Mickie James

_____________________________________________________________

Tag team Match

DX vs The Hart Dynasty

Vencedor: DX

_____________________________________________________________

Breakthrough Qualifying Match

Cryme Tyme vs Legacy

Vencedor: Legacy

_____________________________________________________________

Breakthrough Battle Royal

Kofi Kingston vs Sheamus, vs MVP vs Mark Henry vs R-Truth vs Randy Orton vs Cody Rhodes vs Ted Dibiase

Vencedor: Sheamus

Five-on-five Survivor Series Elimination Match

Team Morrison (John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, e Finlay) vs Team Miz (The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, e Jack Swagger)

Vencedor: Team Miz

_______________________________________________________________

Single Match

Batista vs Rey Mysterio

Vencedor: Batista

_______________________________________________________________

Five-on-five Survivor Series Elimination match

Team Kingston (Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, e Christian) vs. Team Orton (Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted Dibiase, CM Punk, e William Regal)

Vencedor: Team Kofi

_______________________________________________________________

Triple threat match World Heavyweight Championship

The Undertaker vs The Big Show vs Chris Jericho

Vencedor: Undertaker

_______________________________________________________________

Five-on-five Survivor Series Elimination match

Team Mickie (Mickie James, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Melina, e Gail Kim) vs. Team Michelle (Michelle McCool, Jillian Hall, Beth Phoenix, Layla, e Alicia Fox)

Vencedor: Team Mickie

_____________________________________________________________

Triple threat match WWE Championship

John Cena  vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H

Vencedor: John Cena