So I’m scheduling this – an idea to share. I’m nice like that.

We have a birthday party to go to on Saturday. It’s actually one of the kids who came to Big Kiss’ 6th birthday party – he fell in love with the place (mini golf, how awesome, right??)

Big Kiss is stoked and it’s one of his buddies that goes to a different school – we don’t see them much.

Today I was out for lunch and remembered I had to get a gift. Sadly, it didn’t fit in our schedule to have my kid shop with me for his friend. He’ll have to get over that.

I’m wandering the aisles of Toys R Us, picked something simple and then went to get a gift bag. Found the wall of bags, and every single one? Over $4. Four Bucks? For a throwaway bag?? And those were the plain ones, the ones with cartoons and shit all over them were at least $6.

I’m not cheap – but just couldn’t see spending that kind of money on a bag the kid will rip up and toss within 2.2 seconds.

And then. I turned around and saw them. Reusable bags! Cute ones! AND?? Only $1.29!

Tossed the gift inside – Big Kiss will make a card – Buddy will get a bag to carry his swim crap around. Or his toys. Or whatever, I don’t care.

Cute right?

I’m a genius. I know it.

Hope y’all are having a fab weekend like me (don’t be jealous).

God Bless America!

click on over and say hi, dammit!

Half day of work for me today. “Work.” Then I get to go wrangle 159 balloons into my car, pick up a cake, put together tablecloths and napkins and other goodies for my kid’s birthday party. The weather is FAB for this event, this – his first ever “real” party with friends. Not too hot, not too cold, no rain. Mini-golf tourney is gonna rock. And then pizza, cake and homemade sundaes after? Dood, Big Kiss knows how to party.

I’ll be refraining from cake, though. Yep. So here’s the deal. I’m on a medically monitored diet. I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired every 3 weeks or so. I’m not sleeping well (unless I drug myself), stressed out, have the belly fat that comes with not sleeping and stress. I needed help and finally got some. It’s not some “buy our food” or “drink this shake” program, or even counting calories…it’s a simple You must eat breakfast, x amount of protein at every meal and tons of veggies. The first couple of weeks, I’ve avoided whites (sugar, rice, potatoes, etc.) & fried foods. I’ve been really good and it’s actually giving me life style changes. Not just a quick fix.

They also recommend this powder in a jug of water once a day: Macro Greens.

It’s the equivalent of like 5 servings of raw veggies or something. I swear to god it’s even tasty. But holy shit.

No, I mean it. I’ve had to have a conversation with my colon begging it not to blow before I get to the bathroom.

They also provide a B-12 shot, I honestly have no fucking clue what it does, but I yanked up my pants and they shot me in the ass. I felt like an athlete getting steroids. Isn’t that what they thought they were getting? B-12? But it was really human growth hormone? Whatever, doc says get the shot, I took the shot.

I am sleeping better and have lost a few pounds off the gubba, so I’m happy I’m sticking to it.

Which brings me to my next dilemma. Vacation. Hell Yes, I’m taking a chic vaca, leaving tomorrow. My girl A and I are going to Savannah. We went there like 9 years ago and totally loved it. That trip, we drank from sun up to sun down. Visited the gay bars. Went to a drag show. Full on entertainment. This trip, we plan to lounge by the pool. A lot. We may surface around town to say we “did something” but after the winter we both had – lounging is much needed.

We’re also going to walk, which we’re actually excited about (?!) My blisters are healed, I need to do a few miles a day when I’m gone.

ANYFUCK, the thing is? I’m gonna have to try to stick to my diet while there. I don’t want to be a total downer, so I guess I’ll try to make good choices with 2 meals a day and let myself enjoy the 3rd. Probably lunch since that’s my biggest meal on a typical day.

Whatever. If I don’t lose, I’ll be OK with it. I’m going to try to be good but if not, I’ll survive & reset when I get home.

Peace out, kids. Don’t be all brilliant when I’m gone. I’m just going to hit “clear all” when I get back anyway

click on over and say hi, dammit!

…january

…hangnails

…furrowed brows

…snice*

…my momma being hundreds of miles away from me on her birthday

…overpaid asshole human resources morons who fuck up offer letters

…depression

…the color yellow

if you’d like to link up, please do…

*snow/ice, which is a motherfucker.

click on over and say hi, dammit!

She’s hosting a linky (and contest, which I MUST WIN!!) for others sportin’ their antlers.

*Photo taken by my Momma. She’s here. Did I mention? Heh. ‘Tis why I’m not playin online as much. You know you miss me. Just admit it.

And tell KLZ to pick me as a winner, dammit. I’m hot. I deserve it.

click on over and say hi, dammit!

Thanks for being a working mom. It takes a lot to do that nowadays and glad you have a grasp on that and expenses. I see some of the guys really struggling here with this decision to move* because they are single income with wives who don’t ‘get it’.

Love you.

*the move is a potential job in Texas, as their company has been bought by the Fucking French.

Well his e-mail kinda made my year.

I shop. I shop a LOT. Mostly at Target. But I can get every-fucking-thing-under-the-SUN at Target. Prescriptions, food, make up, shampoo, toys, clothes, miralax (don’t ask).

And sometimes? He gives me shit about the Target bill. Like “That was $1,300 in the past 3 months!” Well, Honeypie, imagine if I were some snoot and HAD to shop at Needless Markup? Or even Macy’s? And HAD to buy shoes Jimmy Choo?

Because seriously, that would most likely quad-triple-multiply the monthly expenditures.

After I let it sink in, I had to realize that even though the man gets under my nerves sometimes, he’s pretty good to have around. Just acknowledging the struggles of a working mom gets him some points, not to mention the “love you.” He rarely signs e-mails that way.

So I had to reply to him, right?

Here you go:

Who are you and what did you do with my husband?

Kidding, Thank You. Love you, too.

p.s. this means my dress shopping at Target was ok, right? Spent $39 for your party, but it could have been $129.99 at Ann Taylor

p.p.s. I need $40 for my hair appointment tomorrow, for your Party.

p.p.p.s. And don’t forget I’m getting my nails done. For Your Party!

Don’tcha wish you were married to me?

footy-note. I’m off to NYC for a while.

click on over and say hi, dammit!