92. Building a platform

For this topic, along with a few other topics I’ve spoken on in the past, I would like to direct you over to Kristen Lamb’s blog. Kristen is the goddess of all things social media and author platform. Anything I know already (which isn’t much), I’ve learned from her. If it weren’t for the good fortune of stumbling across her blog once and deciding to follow it, I wouldn’t know a damn thing about having an author platform. In fact, I’m not sure I would even know what the words “author platform” mean.

Put simply, Writer’s Digest defines an author platform as “your visibility as an author”. It is through this “visibility” that you connect with current and potential readers and (hopefully) sell books. You do so by making yourself available through such things as a professional website, blogs, mailing lists, social media, and any professional connections you have.

Currently my “author platform” is somewhat compact. I have this blog, which is my epicenter, as well as a Twitter account, and accounts at FictionPress.com and Fanfiction.net. I have no connections, to speak of, because I haven’t been in the game very long, and I’m held back by my career in the trades. I don’t currently share my Facebook page with readers because I haven’t yet figured out how to do so without readers being able to see every part of me, so to speak. I want to have some semblance of privacy, after all, some stuff that only family and friends can see.

Someday I hope for my author platform to grow because there is no doubt (now that I know what one is) that it is an important aspect of becoming a successful writer. So for now I keep my eye on Kristen and anyone else who enjoys sharing their knowledge and insights. Thanks all!

We have all heard that advice at one point or another in our dating career.  Any article that has been put on the internet or in print that deals with how to score a date with that certain someone is sure to mention it.  In fact, most times it is near the top of the list, deemed  to be an intigrual step.

This is a lie.

Well, okay, that might be a little dramatic. How about we go with, “not true”?

Specifically, I am talking about the game we all play.  The, “Let me check my schedule”, ignoring text messages, witholding sex (which is a whole other topic),  the waiting three days to call after you get a number. 

I have yet to meet someone that enjoys being on the receiving end of all that bullshit.  In fact, I challenge you to read the next line outloud without any hint of sarcasm in your voice:

“Yay! They are ignoring my texts messages. I love it when this happens!”

Even if you managed to keep the sarcasm out, you will never hear it in real life. Yet, we still play the game. We do it because we are told it will significantly increase our chances of getting that person that is in our sights. I have a problem with this premise, and here is why:

The two main arguments in favor of playing this idiotic game are:  it makes you seem valuable, and if a person has to work for you, they are much more likely to appreciate you.
On the surface, those arguments make a lot of sense, which is probably why we participate in the game so much.  However, under any sort of actual scrutiny, both of those points fall apart.

The “value increase” argument is basically a marketing strategy.  You see it a lot in retail. A common practice in electronics (new video game systems, Mp3 players, tablet computers etc) is to ship a low number of units to stores so they will sell out fast. People start to freak the fuck out, “ZOMG! They are out of the new Apple iHole (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IckmX8vwdWc)! I MUST have one, they are so amazing!“  News articles are written about how someone got stabbed in a parking lot over some sort of whatever the fuck. If people are willing to commit assault over something, it must be amazing, right? 

Think about it for a second.  Let’s say you want an iPad3000 (apparently I am on an Apple kick). You go down to the store and tell the teenage kid behind the counter to ring you up.  He replies in a snotty voice, “Umm we have been out of those for days. Our shipments sell out as soon as we get them.” Does your desire for the iPad increase at this point? I mean, in reality you are probably disappointed and maybe frustrated that you wasted your gas and time for a useless trip.
Now, you have to obsess about calling the store to see when shipments come. You have to re-work your schedule so you can run down to the store at a moments notice, before they are all gone.  Maybe you go you hop online and pay 3 times the retail price, just to have one.

Does any of this make the acutal device work better?  Does it give it more apps? Does it surf the web faster? Does it give it Flash support? In short, does it actually increase its value?  No, of course not.  It just creates an illusion of value.

So lets apply that to the dating world.  Basically, when you play the “marketing” game you are either creating or falling for a lie.  Is this really how you want to start a relationship (be it romantic, sexual or miscellaneous) with someone?  I mean do you actually ever think, “Oh they are busy, they must be awesome.”?  I know I don’t.  Similar to the iPad scenario above, I am just disappointed and frustrated. If I feel that way, chances are that anyone I play the game on would feel the same.  Why would I do this to a person, especially one I want to have sex with, or a relationship or whatever?

I am already an amazing person, and so are you. I am the only one of me on the planet. If that isn’t the very definition of rare and valuable, I don’t know what is.  That value works both ways, we should not need to create this illusion of value, and we shouldn’t settle for someone who stoops to cheap tactics to get us.

The second argument is a bit more solid.  Afterall, don’t we try and teach our children the value of things by making them work for them?  When a teen askes their parents for a car, the good parents will make them pay for part or all of it.  Once the teen puts in all that work and finally is able to get that car, they appreciate it so much more. They take care of it more, they are even more excited to have it, however…

We are not teens anymore. Unless, of course, you actually are a teen. In which case, re-read this post in 5 to 10 years.

If you gave me a car as a teen, I know that I would not have appreciated it. I would have treated it with disrespect and not really cared about it. However, if you gave me a car now, there would be absolutely no fuck left in it, because I would actively be appreciating all the fuck out of it. 
This is because I have owned cars that I have had to drop whole paychecks on to fix.  I have had to go without a car because mine was in the shop.  I have seen the glory and freedom of having a car and never want to have to rely on (shudder) public transportation. Or, worse yet (double shudder) actually have to walk somewhere.  Basically, I have  life experience.

Lets go back to dating world. Hopefully, at this point in your life you know a good person from a terrible one.  You know what its like to pour your soul into a relationship, only to have cheat on you, or try and sell your kidneys on the black market. We have all broken our backs for love and/or sex. We have all done the work.  In my mind, this fact renders the “work=apprecaition” argument null and void. 

I am not advising you completely throw yourself at a person.  No one wants some loser that has nothing going on in their life. Just stop and think about the people you are interested in. Do they have all the things you want in a person, or are they all hype?

If you are interested in a person, let them know. Send them a funny text. Return a phone sooner than that bullshit requisite 72 hours.

 Be smart enough to see a person for who they really are, and not the illusion they might create.  Realize your own value. If you truly see your worth, others will see it as well.

When you break it down, really he was saving himself time by taking on the work instead of giving me advice and then going back and editing my work later, but it really made me feel like my task was the most important task for the organization. Whether you are a CEO, or the newest member of an organization, making yourself available can have a profound impact. Taking on tasks that you may not have in your job description will show your commitment to the organization, adaptability and reliability, and build the trust of others. Also by making yourself available to others, you lay the groundwork to winning them over.

Whether it is an open door, volunteering for a new task, or simply checking in with a colleague, making yourself available can do wonders for any aspiring leader or team member. What are you going to do today to go out of your way to be available for someone else?