I think every creative person has that voice floating around somewhere. Nothing, not even sex, makes you more vulnerable than making art, forming pieces of your soul into something others can recognize and putting the result out into the world, all the while hoping it will be well-received, or at least that people, or even just one person, will like it.  Or at least not hate it. At least, not laugh. We don’t want to be laughed at, we don’t want to be ridiculed.

But everybody has a weak spot. Even your inner critic. If you want to get past that voice to a place where you can really create, you have to find out what that weakness is. It turns out that mine has two: force of habit and early morning.

I used to buy a lot of books about writer’s block – how to recognize it, how to get rid of it. I did The Artist’s Way a few years ago to unlock my inner creative person, because I was suffering under a double whammy: a crippling dependence on my inner critic’s opinion and a frustrating marriage that sapped everything in me that wanted to create, each of which fed off the other, spiraling me into despair, often finding me at 3:3o in the morning crying in a ball in the corner of my study because I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I had to figure out the block.

The Artist’s Way did unlock things for me; it helped me understand why I was blocked, and helped me fix it. It was a painful growth process, but totally worth it. It was during that time that I really started to play with the idea for the book I’m working on now, making notes, building worlds, doing really preliminary exploring. (My inner critic was super strong at that point, so even in making notes – just notes! just playing with ideas! – about creating a world, it would scream in my head that I was stupid, that I had no right to create anything, that I should give up before I could get laughed at.)

The book was just some ideas for a while; sketches, thoughts, an evolution of story. I tried writing it while still inside my failing marriage and the story failed because it was pulling too heavily from real life – good release as a fictional journal type of thing, but not the story that I wanted to tell. It wasn’t ready yet. But I was unfolding as a creative person, starting to accept that creating is a process, and that – contrary to what my perfectionist tendencies told me – it doesn’t have to be perfect right out of my head. (That was super hard for me to accept. It looks so easy here in text, clean letterforms making a simple statement, but believe me – there were tears and cold sweats over not being perfect out of the gate.) So, great. I was having ideas. I didn’t do much with them, though.

Back to those books about writer’s block. They all gave varying advice, but the one thing they all had in common was “write every day.” Great, super, who has time for that? I go do my corporate job from 8-4:30 every day, I go home and make dinner and spend time with my boyfriend and go to bed. How am I supposed to make a daily commitment to writing when there is no time? Enter the early riser. I was lucky enough in October to move to a condo where work is only 15 minutes away, so by getting up at 5 instead of the 6 I’d need to to get to work on time, I could spend the first hour of my day writing. The bonus there is that Matthew is a night owl, so that early in the morning, he’s asleep. I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about skimping on us-time, nor would I have to deal with the distractions of trying to write while he was keeping himself otherwise entertained.

In carving out daily time in the early morning, I also discovered a most exciting side effect – at 5 am, when it’s still dark, my inner critic is asleep. My alarm goes off, I turn on my computer, I start putting words on the page. My word goal is only 500 words a day, which I’m generally able to get down in the hour I give myself – some days I fly through it, some days I drag and struggle – but my inner critic is still snoozing away, or at least hasn’t gotten himself up to full yelling volume yet and can still be ignored.

The last thing working on my side is that after a couple months of doing something every day, it becomes habit. Now, unless I’m sick or exhausted or for some reason have to adjust my schedule, I follow the same routine: 5 am alarm, start writing. I find that habit soothes the inner critic, like giving him bread to chew on to keep him busy while I work. I don’t have to fight past him to get to the page anymore now that it’s habit.

So, force of habit, early morning. I made the decision to write every day on November 4. Now here I am 4 months later and, at only 500 words a day (give or take a day here and there), I’m more than halfway to my word count goal. I still have to remind myself that creation is a process, that it doesn’t have to be perfect the first time. I’ve adopted as my mantra: You can edit later. You don’t have to make it perfect, you just have to make it. And I take comfort in the fact that through the wonder of the internet, I can know that people I admire, people who are creators for a living, have that same voice in their heads – they’re just real people, pushing through to make something. If they can do it, why not me?

It seems to be working really well for me. What helps you quiet your inner critic?

Day 13: Sunday

Ok we did a few Blogilates videos and I feel horrible because I can’t remember which ones we did… I usually write down what we do each day and silly me just wrote “Blogilates.” Past Allie wasn’t thinking about present Allie. C’mon.

Day 14: Monday

Monday marked another yoga class. This class was packed – I mean more packed than usual. And let me tell you something – it annoys me. Not a ton, but enough. There’s a handful of people that come to Mary’s class and giggle the whole time and/or leave halfway through or come in 20 minutes late. It was one of those days. All complaining aside, it was a great class!

Day 15: Tuesday

We started out with some cycling today and then moved on to the machines. Emily and I usually don’t hit the machines, one because there are huge beefy men on them and, two because the huge beefy men leave the setting on 150 pounds and look at us with crazy eyes when we move it down to 50 or 60 pounds. Anyway, we worked our thighs on the machines and I could barely walk the next day! Solid workout.

Day 16: Wednesday

Wednesday we did some yoga. We definitely had planned to do more than just yoga but our little thigh workout set us back – we were so sore. So yoga was the only thing we did to workout. Still a successful day!

Day 17: Thursday

Thursday we did some more yoga. We got to do our headstands in class, which headstands are by far my favorite yoga move. Mainly because you look super awesome when doing one. I’ll put up a picture later.

Day 18: Friday

Today we did yoga in the morning and then, believe it or not, we went back to the gym! We did a little bit of biking and then some abs and some arms. Oh boy. As you know, arms are my favorite thing to workout – sarcasm. But my theory is the more I work them out, the more I’ll like it. I’ll let you know how this goes.

Day 19: Saturday

So Saturday, or day 19 marked a great day. Why you ask? Because we only have two more days until workout out every day becomes a habit! How exciting is that? It’s really exciting. First of all because 21 days was our initial goal. 365 days as a goal is very daunting but we told ourselves as long as we could make it to 21 days, we were golden. Secondly, there are surprisingly a ton of people who don’t think we can actually do this. Don’t get me wrong, there are some extremely supportive people – Brenden Crowley I’m looking at you – but there’s still a handful doubting us. So this one goes to our haters.

Sounds lame I know, but anyway…today we did Blogilates videos: What Makes You Bootyful, What U Back Triceps challenge and As Long As You Love Me Love Handles challenge as well. Then when we are all done with our videos, we took a nice long walk. I should have mapped it out to see how far we actually walked, but I didn’t. Sorry y’all.

Now, speaking of schedules, one of the best things to do is (drum roll)  . . .  add the workout into your schedule. I know, I know; just a second ago I said “it was tough to squeeze a workout in”, however, it is only tough if you don’t “schedule” in your workouts. Planning to do your workouts should be just like picking up the kids from school or taking your beautiful wife or girlfriend out to dinner (it is okay to be flexible with your workout times, but officially scheduling it in,  will at least help to  remind you).

Another tip you should consider  is finding a buddy to workout with, now make sure,  you find a partner that can motivate you and help you stick to your fitness plan, however, be willing to motivate your partner as well. With a buddy, it’s way more difficult to back out of a workout when your friend is waiting for you at the gym.

Technology rules and today technology can really help you stay on track; for example there’s an awesome app called Gym Pact, its an app you can schedule visits to the gym and it uses a gps tracking feature, where if you happen to miss or skip your visit to the  gym, the app takes a dollar out of your account (an account set up with Gym Pact, not your bank account).  You can also have a similar experience with the website 21habit.com, where you can, not only, start good habits, but get rid of undesirable habits like smoking, etc.

Don’t give up!  habits can be hard to break and can be easy to make;  researchers say it takes up to 19 days, to create a habit without even thinking about it or obsessing over it . . .  So don’t fret, schedule your time to sweat.

Since routine is actually a good thing I need to start somewhere. Today I have absolutely no routines what so ever framing my life. Not even a bedtime, a get-out-of-bed-time or even a food routine. I sort of just let it all go. I used to have routines, or frames if you will, that gave me a sense of control and efficacy. I want to get back to that place but I know that I shouldn’t rush it. I’ll use some psychology to help me, some numbers:

• It takes six weeks to make or break a habit (not including CNS stimulants like drugs, cigarettes and alcohol abuse etc.)
• It takes six months to integrate a behaviour as a part of your person. For instance regular working out is in the beginning something you DO, later it becomes something you ARE. “I’m a gym-bunny” “I can’t imagine not working out they way I do now” “My morning run keeps me sane” “I’m a runner”. Someone who has just finished his/her first attempt at jogging isn’t going to present himself as a runner, but say “I went running today”.
• If you have an addictive personality breaking a habit might take longer but making a habit will also take shorter time.
• A way to trick your self and your body is to exchange a bad habit for a good one. For example stop smoking and start running. When you feel like smoking you go for a run, feel good about yourself “healthy” (you get a shot of happy hormones as a reward instead of nicotine) and then smoking would only be counter-productive to your new habit. The more you get into your new habit the longer you’ll get away from that person that used to smoke. Your (new) self-image as a runner will clash with the one of a smoker. So minus 1 plus 1 = +- 0. It’s a biological and psychological way of changing your behaviour.

Routine itself is a wonder for all people, especially children since it gives them a context, a frame to this big scary thing called the world. If you know that your bed-time is at 11pm at 10pm you won’t be starting to watch a new movie. You’ll go brush your teeth and make sure your clothes for the next day are laid out and that you have put that book you need to return to the library into your bag. It guarantees you (a fair chance) that you’ll wake up well-rested. Who hasn’t stared at the clock and thought “Crap, I have to get up in 4 hours, I’m gonna be dead-tired tomorrow”.