via

I want them all.

Credits: taijizero2 @ YT

Sorry guys for the subs I don’t know how translate it.^^

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~Spread the BBlove~

PRODUCT PRESS RELEASE .pdf file(Link)

Kareena Promoting VAIO

Making Of Size-Zero Ad

Finished Product

Ad not shown in Indian market

Now: can you think of some archaeological applications?

See this post in Wired.

It’s called ProFORMA, or Probabilistic Feature-based On-line Rapid Model Acquisition, but it is way cooler than it sounds. The software, written by a team headed by Qui Pan, a student at the Department of Engineering at Cambridge University in England, turns a regular, cheap webcam into a 3D scanner. Normally, scanning in 3D requires purpose-made gear and time. ProFORMA lets you rotate any object in front of the camera and it scans it in real time, building a fully 3D texture mapped model as fast as you can turn an object. Even more impressive is what happens after the scan: The camera continues to track the objsct in space and matches it’s movement instantly with the on-screen model.

I haven’t found a website for this software yet, and I have no idea when/if it is available, but let’s hope it is soon. Should be a boon to those folks who are creating immersive archaeological simulations of real sites & artefacts (Colleen?)

edit: the website address turns up in the last few seconds of the video at 3.16, http://mi.eng.cam.ac.uk/~qp202

For the first time in about 6 years I took the robot for ’small work for robot and insects’ out of the box and plugged it in… and remembered that the majority of the servos were completely shot. Unfortunately the clear bodied Cirrus CS-80 servos I’d used the first time around are no longer available – a shame partly as they had great torque and partly because they were the only clear bodied servo on the market and went perfectly with the clear polycarbonate chassis of the robot. After scouring the world’s servo suppliers via the internet I finally settled on some Cirrus 704 MGs from Servo Shop – 14.6kg/cm torque at 6v should do the trick and they have a nice translucent black body. I could only afford 6 of them so decided I would replace all the vertical lift servos and hope to salvage enough of the old ones for the horizontal leg movements.

A major concern was remembering how it all goes together, and if I start unplugging things if I will be able to plug them back in to the same place. Thankfully the servo replacement went just fine and the new servos look really nice alongside the older clear body ones. Unfortunately though, the majority of the old servos are completely goosed, and won’t even move the legs horizontally without getting stuck and making scary grinding noises. It looks like the robot will only be making up and down movements and not forward and back ones for this show. Its not a big problem.

The robot on its back ready to have the old servos removed

Old and new servos side by side. The translucent body on the 704s doesn't show up so well in the image.

So, the new servos are all on, and now I’m running through the old program to weed out all the walking commands and the bits where it uses the horizontal movements. Which brings me to the next issue – the code is in a form of Basic on a semi-antique Olivetti Echos running Windows 95. It took me about an hour just to coax the thing into booting. Surpisingly its all coming back to me and I’m actually enjoying tweaking the code to make the robot move even more elegantly while simultaneously rebuilding the Max patch which hosts the AI and performs the sound analysis and generation.

I can’t wait to see the whole piece up and running again.

I have been blessed with the ability to go to through school almost entirely funded by my family. This has been amazing: I haven’t needed to stress about how I’m going to pay my bills, I’ve been able to live independently near my university, and I’ve only needed to work to pad my resume and get experience in my field of choice rather than to make sure I can buy my milk and cheerios.

However, this has given me a skewed sense of how much most staples of my life truly cost. Not intellectually; I pay a lot of attention to how much my gas and groceries cost. But the total, and the impact on my budget of the fluctuating prices of these staples, doesn’t pack quite the same punch when it isn’t my money that I made myself. This wouldn’t bother me so much, except that my better half and I are planning on getting officially engaged in the next year or so, and we won’t exactly be swimming in cash after we get married. I want to make sure that we are prepared to live with the budget restraints of a newlywed couple, and I am most nervous about my own ability to do this.

In order to track my own spending and further my goal of being financially stable, I bought a two-column ledger book several months ago which I had every intention of beginning to use immediately. But, there were always reasons not to – I’ll start right after I get paid, I’ll start once I deposit this check, I’ll start once this quarter of classes is over. But today, those excuses don’t matter. I’m going to start using this ledger right now, and it doesn’t matter when I’m getting paid, what I’ve already bought for the month, or how much money is actually in my checking account.

Today, I started using a ledger, and made a way to protect my future family’s finances.

On Friday after work, I had planned to run, but I had some stuff to finish at work and quickly lost my window of light [on a side note, my getting to work early and running while there is still light in the afternoon is working out pretty well- except for days like this]. After work, we were going to go to a beer tasting event at Blue Palms, but ended up just going for drinks at Lola’s instead. Then we decided it was finally time we tried Oki Dog, a hot dog stand on Fairfax near us. And it was exactly as expected, haha.

On Saturday morning, we hiked Solstice Canyon [6 miles or so]. We found ourselves reminiscing about Boston on the trail, and then we randomly ran into someone that G went to high school with- It’s a small world sometimes. Anyway, it is probably one of the most interesting hiking trails I’ve been on in LA. There are ruins of an abandoned house tucked into the canyon that was mostly consumed by fire in 1982, but you can still see many parts of it- the fireplaces, oven, some walls. It’s definitely fun to imagine what the floor plan was based on the ruins- it kind of felt like stepping into Pompeii again. The best part was the waterfall that ran through the site, and a perfectly-intact Virgin Mary statue. We probably spent about an hour there exploring before hiking back out. The rest of Saturday was pretty lazy- watched the thrilling Oregon game [go ducks!], worked on a gift, tried to do some online xmas/birthday shopping [unsuccessfully].

On Sunday, I went to the farmers market for some Thanksgiving shopping, then came home and planned the menu with Jackie. Note to self: do not plan a Thanksgiving menu while hungry. Ha! Our problem this year was that we didn’t want to give up on the dishes we loved from last year, but still wanted to make new dishes, too. Which means that we ended up with an even bigger menu than last year! [George and Nathan started to make some comments from the couch but then decided better of it.]

After that I went to Michael Levine, a huge fabric store in the fashion district downtown. Unfortunately I was really hoping to go to the Loft store above it [which sells fabric by the pound] but I found out they aren’t open on Sundays. So I ended up in the main store instead… so huge and amazing, I could spend hours in there. Since they close early, I ended up not having enough time to pick buttons and snaps AND fabric, but I got a few yards to start some projects and will definitely be going back. They have good yarn too, ah!

Came home and made a shopping list for the rest of Thanksgiving, then went to the store. Between the two of us dividing the list and tag teaming, we hammered it out in less than 30 minutes. Just need a few items from WF, but we’re mostly ready to go. After making some dinner/lunch, I sewed on the buttons/knitted button holes for my mom’s cowl. I was initially going to seam it together and just make the buttons decorative, but then I realized my mom would hate to put it over her head and decided to make them functional. I’m totally pleased with the result, especially for such an on-the-fly quick knit- I’ll show you photos soon! [Photo editing/posting is one thing I did not do this weekend... I at least wanted to get through the rest of my Seattle batch!]

Looking forward to two four-day weeks coming up… though I definitely wish they were shorter.

Algumas imagens pertencentes ao “making-of” da última produção fotográfica “República”

- Manequins :

- Fernanda Carvalho, L’Agence

- Sara Trindade, L’Agence

- Rodrigo Santos, Central Models

- Produção : Marco Rocha e Hélio Félix

- Styling : Marco Rocha

- Make-up e cabelos: Carlos Gonçalves

- Fotógrafo : Hélio P. Félix

- Making-Of: Jaime Adão

Agradecimentos: Storytaylors, Filipe Faísca, Universidade Lusófona, Inês Santa, Luís Alegre, Filipe Luz.

Cleaning and keeping house can be a very creative activity, though it isn’t often written about in that light. Cleaning lets you take stock of the bathroom, inspect the fixtures, rearrange the things cluttering your counter, and generally take time to observe things in a room that is otherwise the epitome of mundane spaces. It also lets you take a small amount of control over those little things that can bother you on a daily basis: the archipelago of white spots on the corner of the mirror, the empty soap dispenser, the annoying dust bunny that has been growing in the corner behind the door. Small victories, small space, and small rewards.

Aside from the obvious reward of cleaning the bathroom (that is, having a clean bathroom), cleaning is one of those chores that simply gives a person time to think. Its a quiet chore, without noisy appliances, so it gives you lots of room in your head for wandering thoughts. It occupies both of your hands, so it keeps you from texting or writing shopping lists or any of the other myriad small distracting activities that can keep you busy. And, possibly best of all, it takes just the right amount of time – not so long that you get ridiculously bored, not so short that aren’t able to put aside your other worries and concerns and let your mind wander for a bit.

So today, I cleaned the bathroom, and made a clearer mind.

LINKS

Real Simple: 66 All-Natural Cleaning Solutions
Book: Home Comforts: The Art & Science of Keeping House

A história é engraçada. Ela distraída no ônibus, o 8030, ele sentado como quem não quer nada ao seu lado, usou a cantada certa, ou será que ela preparou a cantada e ele caiu direitinho?

O making foi bem humorado, música boa, família acompanhando cada pincelada no conforto da casa da tia da Rina. No  casamento, salão lotado de amigos e parentes, regado por belas palavras, as externas … nussa as externas … o Marcone suou um pouco mas acho que valeu a pena.

Espero que gostem do nosso trabalho, felicidades a vocês!!!

Bem o 8030 é um ônibus que já saiu de linha, mas pra valorizar o momento decidi traze-lo a 2009 pra relembrar em imagem o que vocês lembram com tanta riqueza de detalhes, o dia em que vocês se conheceram…

Fotografia: MARCO TULIO PINTO, MARINA USHIRO, BRENO MATIAS.

Make e Cabelo: Eduardo (Crystall Hair)

Agradecemos ao ferro velho Pato Feio que nos cedeu o seu espaço para alguns cliques…

The suggestion for today was to try and save water and electricity by remembering to turn off the light switch, a power point, a tap, etc. Because we forget these things the book suggests making stickers to place next to a light switch for example.

This is a somewhat simple solution to a possibly costly memory issue, in that forgetting to flick a switch/turn off a tap costs money by way of the bill, as well as costing more in terms of environmental costs.

I have found myself being far more efficient in these areas in the last little while and hardly ever forget to turn off a light when not needed, turn off a tap when brushing teeth, etc. It did however take a lot of self-discipline and I can see how stickers/post-it’s, etc, can be handy for some people.

A response to reading ‘365 Ways to Change the World,’ by Michael Norton

You guys know what Youtube is right?

Oh yeah…you have the internet. Duh.

Did you know that there are people who make a living by posting videos to youtube?? Check out Cory (Mr. Safety) at www.youtube.com/smpfilms . This guys makes some serious cashola by posting his videos. And when I say serious, I mean twenty-thousand dollars a MONTH serious!

It all happens through YouTube’s Partner Program, where if your videos are popular enough, YouTube will add you to their list of “partners”…which basically means that they’ll put an annoying ad right in the middle of your video. Now I’m not sure if they pay you per view or per click, but either way, 20 Grand a month is pretty nice. Very nice.

Geez… why the heck am I writing a blog when I could be making millions???

Oh yeah… I don’t have a video camera.

Most of the time you need a video camera to make videos…. or so I’ve concluded.

Dang.

Dylan Did his thing with this song! The video is aiight too. We play this song on the show every week! He even called the show…well here you have it Dylan Dilinjah (MAking The Band) Big Ego Video!

It’s really only about four weeks to go until Christmas!  I love Christmas, love the idea of it, love the traditions, love the thought of sharing it with a child old enough to appreciate the magic of it.  But like many people, I find it can be a daunting and stressful time, and alot of build-up to a bit of an anti-climax.  I find it’s really necessary to work hard enough at Christmas to keep the dream alive, but not so hard that it’s no fun.

So a pre-emptive strike is in order. 

First, the cards:  ideally quirkily handmade incorporating children’s artwork, yet still stylish, and enclosing a photo of the children ….. well, not this year.  I designed them online with the only decent cute photo featuring all three children and had them delivered.  They’re not too bad, and probably more economical than making a card and having photos printed to enclose.  And the relatives will love them.

Next, the wrapping paper.  I had bought up a few rolls of brown paper in the past when I’d seen it reduced, and decided that printing shapes on it would be a good activity for Rex and I.  I just used children’s acrylic paint and kitchen sponges cut into star and triangle shapes to stamp with.  It worked well, as you could get several impressions with one paint-covered sponge, and Rex really enjoyed it. (He was singing “I like yellow” as he stamped!).  We printed a whole roll in red, yellow,orange and browny colours.  I thought some dyed raffia would be good to trim the parcels, but I think I may try and use up all the red and yellow ribbon I have saved up to recycle in my overflowing ribbon box.  Though I really love Ali’s wrapping and link to these!

Of course, gifts are required.  Lists were made and there has been a bit of online shopping, mainly books and kid’s things, and of course the odd gift for me too….   It’s now necessary to not only provide gifts for three children, but also gifts from them to each other.  And Santa gifts, and creche Santa gifts …    I think that there will not be much in the way of hand-made gifts, too hard this year.  Except for another Shetland Triangle for my Mum.

Decorations.  Well, a case of make-do with what we have, with the addition of replacing non-functional fairy lights.  Last year, as illustrated rather poorly below, we made these, and may do so again (yellows again being the suggested colourway).  Though I am sorely tempted to make these, and these.  Crochet or knitted decorations really appeal to me.

And then there will be food, but as I’m not hosting any major meals, this can be kept simple, and thought about at a later date. 

Hope you get the chance to enjoy your festive preparations…

Creating an organized and clutter free home environment for the elderly and physically challenged is essential to their comfort and safety. Modifying the home for their specific needs will create a highly functional environment allowing this special population to live independently. Each room of the home needs to be assessed for its challenges.

Kitchens:

The more accessible kitchen storage spaces are, the easier it will be to put things away and the less likely clutter will pile up.

Adapt shelves in closets and pantries for easy viewing and reach

Install sliding baskets and lazy susans in cabinets

Remove cabinet doors if they impede access

Store everyday items between knee and shoulder height

Set up centers for each type of food preparation activity

Mount mirrors on the wall behind the stove for viewing cooktop from a seated position

Living Rooms and Hallways:

Living rooms and hallways may require some modifications to reduce the ammount of furniture and other clutter that could be a mobility hazard.

Rearrange furnishings to clear walking areas

Use low pile carpet for ease of movement or wheelchair movements

Eliminated throw rugs

Lower thresholds between rooms to accomodate flooring changes

Use open storage baskets near activity areas

Remove clutter and furniture from hallway

Install handrails along corridor walls

Use ‘clappers’ or touch lamps to make turning lamps on and off less challenging

Replace standard light switches with ‘rockers’

Bedroom:

In the bedroom, the major areas where clutter collects are around the bed and in the closet resulting from poorly designed storage.

Lower rods and shelving in closets for easy access

Use open sheving instead of drawers for folded items

Add lighting in closet for greater visibilty

Keep a chair in or by the closet to use for assistence while dressing

Organize clothing by type and use

Keep a small basket at the bedside table for loose items

Limit the items on the bedside table to things used daily

Keep a phone at the bedside table

Bathrooms:

Bathrooms are the most challenging rooms in the house. These changes are essential for ensuring safety.

Keep bath products and medicines organized and with easy reach

Use a linen closet or shelf storage rather than under sink area

Use pill organizers to eliminate any guesswork

Remove excess clutter from the shower or bath areas leaving only essential items

Use slip mats in the tub or shower

Use bath benches

Install grab bars in shower, tub and toilet areas

Adapt or replace toilets

Replace faucets with lever handles

Replace shower heads with ones that can be hand held

Keep a phone in the bathroom reachable from the floor

Paperwork

Staying on top of paperwork may seem like a real challenge when mobility is an issue – but an organized system makes things easier.

Keep files current with all medical, insurance and financial information

Use a color coded filing system for easy retrieval of information

Use a summarized document locator, in case of emergency

These are small changes that can be made for minimal expense. When cost is not an issue, new innovative solutions using universal design are available. Cabinets, cooktops and sinks that can be modified to be height adjustable at the push of a button. Doorway opening can be enlarged to 32″ – 36″ to accomodate walkers and wheelchairs. The marketplace today offers a tremendous array of poducts to help provide solutions to make independent living easier. These products, combined with simple adjustments in the home, can create a safe, organized and accessible environment.

For those on medication, pill organizers eliminate the guesswork. Keep an organized filing system in the home with current information on medical and insurance information, financial files on investments. social security and disability benefits. Having this information accessible and organized will expedite its retrieval should an emergency arise.

Items in a well planned home should be placed in logical locations, making maintenance simple. For those with vision problems, finding things where they are supposed to be is essential for the home to run smoothly and safely. Clothing rods in the closets. placed at reachable heights, will prevent strains from reaching or falls from climbing. Possessions scattered all over the house could cause a fall or make an area of the house completely inaccessible. For this special population, being organized is not only helpful, it can be a lifesaver

You walk out the door and are bombarded by a swarming mass of onlookers. Click, click, click, is all you hear, and flashes are all you see from cameras snapping in every direction. Everywhere you walk heads turn and stare. Whispers of praise fill the air. With a fearless sense of style and uninhibited sway in your step, you strut down the catwalk. Today, you are the star, and you owe it all to your fabulous new summer ‘do.

While you may not actually be walking down a runway, there’s no reason you can’t look like it.

You want to be a rock star, a socialite, a surfer girl — how about a glamour goddess or a sophisticated diva? You can pull off any look you want with the right hairdo. The secret to wearing the hottest celebrity looks in real life begins with scissors. This season the most wanted styles are no-fuss, easy-to-do and simply sexy. In order to pull off these effortless looking styles, you must have the right cut. With a great haircut, the rest is easy.

This spring and summer the streets will be sizzling with sexy style. While the main buzz may be to simply state it, these new looks are simply hotter than ever. French twists, basic braids and loose ponytails are favorite picks. This look is about saying it without screaming it. It’s a no-fuss, less-is-more look that can be worn anytime.

In order to keep up with the latest trends you will also have to get ready to travel back in time. You are going to bump into some new versions of old favorites. Don’t worry, you won’t have to dust off your leg warmers, but you will have to get your fingers ready to start scrunching. Bigger is better this season, and a little scrunching and the right cut is all you need. This time around it’s a softer, lighter and more natural scrunching look.

Another popular blast from the past style is popping up on foreheads everywhere. That’s right! Bangs are back and they’re sexier than ever. Celebrities such as Jessica Alba, Mandy Moore, Charlize Theron and Rachel McAdams have helped them make a strong comeback. Long, short, heavy or wispy — everywhere you turn, you will surely bump into bangs.

Alan Kurkland, Top Stylist and Manager of Salon 151 in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, says, “The hottest trends we are seeing for the summer are just above the shoulder cuts with small, swooping bangs or long bangs.”

Texture and layers are the secrets behind achieving these great looks. Kurkland says:

“Nicole Ritchie’s hair has been a favorite. Many of my clients want the same look. The long layers at shoulder length with the swooping bangs is very popular. For shorter hair, I recommend lots of texture and movement.”

The main idea is embracing the effortless sexy look in any style you choose. In other words, don’t look as you’ve spent hours in front of the mirror. Look terrific without going over the top.

Blonde hair and summer have always gone hand in hand, but this year browns are moving in with a vengeance. There’s been a brunette boom, and it’s not slowing down — from Britney to Brittany.

You will undoubtedly start seeing darker shades on the beaches. There are still, however, plenty of blondes and light highlights to go around. “We are seeing lots of partial highlights and lots of contrast, light on top and dark underneath,” says Kurkland.

The sun is out and shining strong along with this season’s most wanted looks. Have fun, feel sexy and show off your sense of style. You don’t need to walk on a runway to turn heads. Nothing will heat up the streets and spark up the summer season like a hot new hair style. Here’s a list of the top ten most wanted:

1. Longish and Somewhat Irregularly Cut or Layered Bangs

2. Modern Scrunch

3. Relaxed Up Dos

4. Layered and Textured Bobs

5. Shaggy Surfer Style Layers

6. Choppy Crop

7. Softer Layers for Longer Hair

8. Short, Blunt Edgy for Shorter Hair

9. Shoulder Length Curls

10. Wavy Locks

Apartment Therapy has become one of my favourite relaxation/inspiration sites of late.

What do you get when you combine lego and stationery?….no not heaven….. this.

image from Apartment therapy

Simple idea, but with endless possibilities.

I am going to show this idea to the girls and see where their imaginations take them.

I started making creams and soaps about 10 or 12 years ago. My sister’s roomate at the time turned me onto soap making. Since the soap making book I bought had a page about making creams, and since I have always loved slathering myself with silky potions, I jumped right in and have rarely bought a jar of cream since. I had a small business for a while before life distractions took hold of me. I’ll never forget the fun of selling my homemade concoctions at the local farmer’s market, mostly because of the beautiful people who stopped by my booth to chat, but also because it was nice feeling like a tangible a part of the community. But now, since time is of the essence and I have a baby, I’m back to doing what I did in the beginning; just giving away the creations from my kitchen as I make them, to the friends and family who love them.

I was literally scraping out my last jar of cream this morning to apply to my son’s eczema when I took myself in hand and hunkered down and made the standard cure-for-all-skin-needs, Infinity Cream. I call it ‘infinity’ because I use it for all my skin all the time! It only takes me about an hour and a half to make my cream, so I don’t know why I procrastinate the task, but I do. The hardest part for most people is simply acquiring the ingredients. I bought my favorite oils in bulk a while ago, and I have plenty of jars left over from my business, so the hardest part for me now is just gathering the oils and measuring them out.

I am almost out of Montana beeswax (a must-have for my creams), so I weighed it first so I could accomodate my recipe because I want to use the beeswax in its entirety. I use a small, cheap ($10) scale to make my creams and lotions and even soaps. Here is a picture of the beeswax on the scale.

Next I weigh out the olive oil, cocoa butter, almond oil, jojoba oil, castor oil, and avocado oil and place them in a pan with the beeswax on low heat, in order to melt the beeswax and mix the oils. Then I weight out the water soluble ingredients: Montana rain water, aloe vera gel, vegetable glycerin, and borax (a natural emulsifier) and heat and mix that in another pan. When both pans are about the same temperature, I then place them together in a mixing bowl and mix on low, scraping the sides of the bowl constantly of its hardening beeswax, returning it to the center for a uniform blend. As the mixture cools, it thickens. I increase the mixer speed accordingly, working up to slightly above-medium speed. The mixing process is the most time-intensive part, made more time-intensive for me because my mixing stand is broken! After about 30 minutes the cream is looking creamy and has cooled down enough for the essential oils (scents) to be added. I mix some more until it is fully cool. Then I place in jars which are ready to be filled with sensuous, luxurious, natural cream! It really does look good enough to eat, to which my children can atest from time to time when they’ve ambled into the kitchen thinking I’m making cake batter!

I love giving away my cream to people who like it as much as I do. I just wish I could make more because the list is quite long now……..And I wish I could make enough cream to give to women in shelters or who are very financially challenged, because there is no need to spend a fortune on nice body care products, and there is something so satisfyingly right–so comforting–about skimming your fingers over the firm silky surface of handmade cream and smoothing it on your face, while the scent wafts over you in a rapture of the senses. It really is that simple.

Work on screen being prepared for print.

I managed to haul myself out of bed at the very un-studenty time of 9am last wednesday morning the reason for this was that I had to get some screen prints done. When i arrived, I was annoyed to find the I.T. Department staff dismantling the computers so they could “fit new ones”. So i could have stayed in bed for another hour. After eventually getting my screens finished and ready for printing I managed to get some pretty good prints made. The colours that I used at the start were red, black and white inks. But then I got bored so mixed me some purple and silver to enhance my graphics a little, think it worked.  I ended up with a huge ammount of prints that I can add to the development of my project work. Along witht he masses of prints that i’ve already made they might combine to make a really massive print monster. Also planning to make an insert for my magazine that is screen printed. Thanks to my buddy Sam Johnson for the photography.

The first layer of some test prints

2 layer prints with black and purple colours.

More work on the drying rack.

The first print of the day, made from last weeks screens while i was waiting to print the new pieces.

Print outs ready to be transfered onto screens

A closeup of some of my work.

Ladies and gentlemen, today you are in for a rare treat: a transcript from the personal life of Big Time Hollywood Producer/Director Barry Sonnenfeld that does not include an appearance by Will Smith.  Today’s transcript comes from the period of Mr. Sonnenfeld’s life when he was working on the Smash Hit “R.V.,” which sadly did not star Will Smith.

In this transcript, Barry Sonnenfeld has to confront Joanna “Jojo” Levesque about certain problems that had been noticed on set.  Enjoy:

Barry Sonnenfeld: Joanna, please come in.  Thanks for your punctuality.

Jojo: What’s on the new, B-Feld?  Keep it short, pops, I’ve got eight flapjacks and a fifth of bug juice waiting for me in my trailer.

BS: It’s four in the afternoon, what are you doing eating pancakes?

JJ: I’m not talking about pancakes.  D’uh.  Haven’t you ever heard of slang?

BS: For legal reasons, I have to insist that you not explain what you’re talking about.  I don’t want to be responsible for knowing what you do with your private time.  But, we still need to talk.

JJ:  Look, if this is about whoever heaved on the craft service table, I already told you that wasn’t me.  I’ll give you two hints who it was: he’s hairier than Cousin It, and his name rhymes with Bobin Billiams.

BS: Joanna, please tell me that you have evidence of this, that you’re not just throwing around baseless accusations.

JJ: Okay, look, look.  Last night, me and Robin (Williams) were having a little party.  We were smoking some trees, watching Triumph of the Will…

BS: …whoa, whoa.  You’re not old enough to be smoking anything.

JJ: …so, the movie ends, and Robin turns to me and says, “OMG, we should do some poppers,” and I was like, “totally!”  So, we got really freaking out of it, and then out of nowhere Robin starts trying to kiss me, and I’m like, “ewww, you’re icky…”

BS: Oh my God, that’s at least six felonies.  My insurance rates are going to go through the roof.

JJ: So, he grabbed my boob, and I was all like, “no you didn’t,” so I slapped him good across the face.  He got up, and he was all like, “you’re going to be sorry you didn’t get on board this fuck train.”  Then he disappeared, but he was, like, walking towards the craft service table.

BS: Oh God.  I’m going to prison.  I’m an accessory.  I’ve got to call my lawyer before the police catch wind of this.

JJ: Stop being such a baby, B-Feld.  It’s party time!  It’s the fucking 90’s, bitch!

BS: It’s 2005.

JJ: What’s a year, man?  It’s just a state of mind.

BS: I’m fairly certain that it’s more than that.

JJ: If I believe it’s 1997, who are you to disagree?  Are you in charge of time?  Is your last name Calendar?

BS: If it’s 1997, then you’re only 7 years old.  I can’t handle this, I’ve got to call your parents.

JJ: Look, old timer; you call my parents, and I’m out of here, and when I go, this project goes with me.  You think people are going to watch a movie about Robin Williams driving around in an RV?  Puh-leez.

BS: (to Mary, Barry Sonnenfeld’s assistant) Mary!  See if you can get Lindsey Lohan on the phone.  And get me a Xanax.

JJ: Right, like LiLo would ever sign on to a sinking ship like this.  You’d be lucky to get Evan Rachel Wood.

BS: Shit.  Motherfucker.  We’ll never be able to afford Lohan, not after the success of Mean Girls and Herbie Fully Loaded.  Mary!  Get over here (pulls Mary aside).

Mary: What’s up, boss?

BS: Alright, Mary.  We’re taking this ship into overdrive.  The challenge before us is this: we’ve somehow got to finish this movie before a cast or crew member gets arrested and charged with gross sexual imposition.  No more multiple takes.  I can’t stress that enough, we’ll cook things up in post.  And if you see anyone who’s even thinking of planning a prank for a blooper reel, shit-can them immediately.

Mary: No problem, boss.  We’ll have this think finished before you can say “Space Chimps.”

BS: What’s that?  Space Chimps?

Mary: Calm down, boss.  It’s just an expression.

BS: An expression?  Where the hell do you hang out, NASA?

Mary: It’s just an expression, boss.  Everyone says it.

BS: I don’t know about that.  I like the sound of that, though.  “Space Chimps.”  It just rolls off your tongue.  “Space Chimps.”

Mary: That’s right, boss.  It sounds great.  Especially when you say it.

BS: Alright, let’s just get this thing done.

Mary: Yes, sir! (marches off towards the Stage B)

BS: Joanna, I believe you’re needed on set.

JJ: Fuck that, B-Feld.  You’re needed in my hot, wet p…

BS: …Whoa!  Joanna, kindly remove your hands from my pockets.  Those are really exclusively for my personal use.  And get to Stage B, we’re picking up the pace here.  And stop stealing my Xanax.

JJ: Please, I never stole any Xanax.  Why don’t you ask Bobin Billiams about that?  (Jojo walks off towards Stage B)