Thanksgiving is upon us.  Since I don’t think I will be posting in the next couple days (and because I’m thinking about food) I figured I’d give you a few sports/politics and food related links.  Enjoy and best wishes to all of you for a very happy and healthy (kind-of) holiday.  Travel safely!

The best wedding cake of all time!

An unfortunate turn of events for noted Turducken lover, John Madden

What athletes would you like to have over for Thanksgiving dinner?  For me, my table would include me, Bill Belichick, Theo Epstein, Peyton Manning, Shaq and Kobe (that should be fun), Dan Rooney, Maria Sharapova, Kristi Yamaguchi, Shannon Miller, Tiger Woods,  Larry Bird, Natalie Gulbis, Magic Johnson and Pete Sampras.

Of course, it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without this really really odd tradition.

Welcome to Top Five Sports!  Thank you for taking the time to read our stuff and here’s hoping that we can all have a good time.  Now, onto our first post.

Our first post will be piggy-backing on the irritating success of the newest installment of the Twilight franchise.  New Moon is dominating the box office and will continue to dominate due to the Titanic effect (teenage girl goes to see it three times and suckers a different guy into going each time) and leads us into the discussion of which athletes would make the best vampires.

5)  Jeremy Shockey

Shockey may have been the easiest pick on the list.  He’s rocked the Lost Boys look for years, he’s lived in two places (New York and New Orleans) that you would expect to find the undead, and he looks like the kind of SOB that would be capable of biting someone in anger or in pleasure.  The kind of vampire that little girls only dream of in their nightmares, Shock would fit in nicely in the world of Blade, that is, until Wesley Snipes kicks his ass and then reminds him that white boys can’t dunk.

4)  Kasey Kahne

Fits the Twilight school of vampire.  Young and ambiguous-looking, Kahne makes teenage girls cry for his pouty good looks and makes guys roll their eyes while wondering exactly what’s so great about him.  Much like Twilight the answer is simple, there is nothing great about him.  He’s bubble gum and it’s drivers like him that are ruining the tough guy image of NASCAR in much the same way that Stephenie Meyer is ruining the legend of the vampire.  There are many male NASCAR fans who wouldn’t mind being the one to put a stake through Kahne’s heart and end forever his existence on this plane of existence.  Mainly so that their wives will stop talking about how cute his is.

3) Maria Sharapova

Name one athlete you’d rather be sucked on by?  That means you too ladies.  See?  That’s what I thought.

2)  Tom Brady

Think  Tom Cruise in Interview with the Vampire.  ‘Nuff said.

1)   Al Davis

Not an athlete (not in the last hundred years anyways), but if there’s anyone in the sports world that screams undead more than Al Davis, I haven’t seen their corpse.  Davis looks like Dracula after being left in the sun for as long as possible and then roasted with a flame thrower.  When you add in that Davis has bled the life completely out of a once vibrant sports franchise, there was really no other choice for number one.  There’s not a Raider fan that Davis hasn’t sucked the spirit out of, making him possibly the most successful vampyre of them all.

Bisher hat es Sasha Vujacic lediglich einmal geschafft hier Erwähnung zu finden und ich erwarte nicht, dass sein Name in Zukunft öfter fallen wird. Dennoch will ich mich hier ein bisschen am derzeitigen Gossip beteiligen. Diejenigen von euch, die regelmäßig ein Auge darauf haben, wie sich die L.A. Lakers momentan so machen, werden wissen, dass Vujacic derzeit Schwierigkeiten hat Minuten in Phil Jacksons Rotation zu bekommen. Spärlichen 7,9 Minuten pro Spiel steht der Slowene  pro Partie auf dem Court. Was das alles damit zu tun hat, dass „The Machine“ mit Tennisstar Maria Sharapova zusammen ist, weiß ich selbst nicht. Die beiden wurden händchenhaltend in Los Angeles abgelichtet. Sportlich betrachtet könnte man Sharapova als Schuldige ausmachen, falls Vujacic es nicht schafft sich wieder mehr Minuten zu erspielen. Lob werden ihr die ortsansässigen Medien jedoch dann entgegenbringen, wenn Sasha eine unerwartete Leistungsexplosion vollbringt. Ich stelle mir hingegen gerade die Frage, ob es überhaupt jemanden interessiert, wie Vujacic spielt?

Um diesen Post noch zu retten, widme ich mich jetzt noch der Iverson-Affäre in Memphis. Allen Iverson hat die Memphis Grizzlies aufgrund persönlicher Angelegenheiten mit Zustimmung der Verantwortlichen verlassen.  Temporär, so hofft man. Bisher ist nicht bekannt, wann A.I. wieder zu seinem neuen Arbeitgeber zurückkehrt und schon kursieren Gerüchte, er würde seine Karriere vorzeitig beenden. Nicht nur Grizzlies Besitzer Michael Heisley wäre darüber enttäuscht, doch leider muss ich sagen, dass ein solches Ende in den Lebenslauf von A.I. passen würde. Iverson hat in seiner NBA Laufbahn unglaubliches geleistet, viele Kritiker verstummen lassen, und auch immer wieder neue Kritik herausgefordert. Sei es durch kuriose Pressekonferenzen oder Eskapaden abseits des Spielfeldes. Er hat die NBA ein Jahrzehnt lang geprägt, das ist unumstößlich, bevor sich sein rapider Abstieg bemerkbar machte und jetzt nimmt er sich vermutlich die Möglichkeit, sich einen gebührenden Abschied zu bereiten. Bleibt zu hoffen, dass an den Gerüchten um seinen Rücktritt vom Basketball nichts dran ist. Andererseits wissen wir ja um seine abermalige Unzufriedenheit, ob der Rolle, die ihm bei den Grizzlies zuteilwird. Dass er also keinen Antrieb mehr hat, ist durchaus vorstellbar. Einen guten Artikel zum Thema Iverson findet ihr auch hier.
Wie bewertet ihr “The Answers” Verhalten? Hat er nicht damit rechnen müssen, dass er auch in Memphis nur eine reduzierte Rolle erhält?

Now that the WTA season is over and the ladies are resting up for Australia, I thought it was time to look ahead and give my predictions for 2010. 2009 was a drama filled year and I expect even more next year. Players will be “ranked” according to what I think their year-end ranking will be for 2010.

1. Serena Williams – Even with the return of Justine Henin and Kim Clijsters, I don’t expect anyone to take over the top spot from Serena and expect her to win at least two Slams for 2010.

2. Caroline Wozniacki - “Sunshine” as she’s known on the tour will have another consistent year and will find herself in another Slam final. If she can win a big one remains to be seen but it will be hard to bet against her next year. Conditioning and her excessive match play may hurt her down the road.

3. Dinara Safina – A lot depends on Safina’s current back injury and her mental toughness for 2010. I can see her in a Slam final but she will have to dismiss whatever demons she has in order to make it back to the top spot.

4. Svetlana Kuznetsova – Despite her mental flaws, “Sveta” will always be a factor in 2010 and will probably make it to another Slam final. If she wins a Slam next year is entirely up to her. Watch out for her at the Australian Open as she finished 2010 in good shape healthwise.

5. Venus Williams – 2010 will be the last chance at glory for Venus as she turns 30 this year. Aside from Wimbledon, she’s not been a factor for a while at the other Slams and her knee could be a big issue. Plus the fact that no one tour is afraid of playing her could may next year very tough.

6-9. These slots will change depending on the names, i.e. Jelena Jankovic, Victoria Azarenka, Elena Dementieva, etc. They could breakthrough and win a Slam, but let’s face it, shouldn’t they have done so already?

10. Kim Clijsters – Everybody keeps salivating over Henin’s return but Clijsters, who played lights out tennis at the U.S. Open, will still go into every tournament with nothing to lose and thus no pressure. I expect Kimmie to be a factor in Australia and a heavy favorite at the U.S. Open again.

Wildcards – Justine Henin will be the story at the Australian Open win or lose. It will all depend on her draws and I actually think the clay court season is where she will find the most success. She has more to lose than Kim Clijsters in her comeback so a Slam victory in 2010 is paramount.

Sam Stosur – Stosur finally won a WTA event in ‘09 and will probably break into the top 10 next year. She’s got the game to win a big one, maybe even Wimbledon, but does she believe she can win is the question.

Maria Sharapova – Sharapova is finally getting back on track after a rocky 2009. If her serve starts clicking again, she could be a factor but probably not until Wimbledon.

Ana Ivanovic – 2010 will define Ivanovic’s entire career. If she can get over her mental and physical fatigue, she could work her way back into the top ten again. If she can’t, I could see her retiring early. Hope I’m wrong.

Melanie Oudin - Next year will be the real test for the feisty American to prove the U.S. Open run was no fluke. I definitely see her in the top 20 before too long. Perhaps the French Open will be her next surprise Slam as she says she likes the clay?

Amelie Mauresmo - There’s been no word yet on Mauresmo’s potential retirement but even if she decides to stick it out, 2010 will probably be her last year. Maybe she will finally go for broke and play with nothing to lose? If so, we could be in for a real treat.

Let me know what you think!

The next headline came as a huge shocker to me. Miss Jay from America’s Next Top Model is a dad!!! He and his ex-boyfriend were asked by a french lesbian woman to donate their sperm. Jay’s ex is the real dad but they both see their son regularly and Jay already loved it that the 7-year old has a great sense of fashion.

Madonna is in Brazil this week to meet the in-laws. A funny detail is that Madonna could technically almost be the mother of her boyfriend Jesus’ mother. Jesus’ mother got her son age 13 and is 15 years younger than Madonna. Wow, I wonder what she thinks about that affair then. She probably likes the fact that Madonna is rich, talented etc, but the age thing could be an issue for any mother.

Maria Sharapova has a new boyfriend, she is dating L.A Lakers guy Sasha Vujacic. She is 6′2 and he is 6′7, so they will get some huge kids(if they ever will of course)!!  I heard rumors that Sharapova was a lesbian but I guess those are not true.

Nicole Kidman and Gwyneth Paltrow will play a couple in the new movie, the Danish Girl. It;s about one of the world’s first transsexual people Einar Wegener. Paltrow will be playing the role of the wife instead of Charlize Theron, who I personally like a lot better. Kidman can play a good tranny I think. There is something off about her face anyway after all the botox, so…

Maria will play in 2 exhibition matches in South America December 2nd in Chile and December 5th in Brazil.  The two matches both will be against Gisela Dulko.

Maria will kick off her 2010 season in Hong Kong on January 6-9.

She has also entered Cellular South Cup in Memphis, TN on February 14-20.

Maria has also entered Family Circle in Charleston, SC  onApril 10-18.  I’m also sure she will play all slams if healthy.

There is also the Sasha Vujacic but I really don’t want to get into that.

Maria Sharapova and current squeeze Sasha Vujacic of the Los Angeles Lakers were out and about in LA today. Holding freaking hands! What has Sasha done with Masha that she now shows affection in public? Jesus. He better not screw this up. I mean, if he dated Paris Hilton then… just don’t screw this up dude.

Wonder what happened to my favorite Masha boyfriend.

Anyway, stay happy, kiddos.

Image via TMZ

I don’t really think I need to tell you why U2 (specifically Bono) needs to stop anything they do and hide underground until they die of prostate cancer, but I’m going to anyway. Two news headlines caught my attention in the past few days that proves to me that U2 is not helping to save the world, but in fact are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

"Unos, dos, tres, cuatro!"

News Headline #1 - Outrage over wall blocking free U2 Berlin concert

During it’s existence from 1961 to 1989, the Berlin Wall stood as a monument of dissection and invariability.  Following WWII, Joseph Stalin and the rest of Soviet Union really took a bitch-slap at the Allies by implementing a communist Western Germany.  The Allies on the other hand wanted a more democratic  Germany all together.  You see, the Soviets had control over the east, and the Allies controlled the west.  Where, you might ask, does this leave Berlin?  Smack dab in the middle.  On the 13th of August 1961, eight years after his death, the influence of Stalin was greater than ever.  The border between East and West Berlin was shut down completely by the East German army, and construction began on the wall.  It wouldn’t be until 18 years later that the wall would come down by it’s own citizens in a frenzy of freedom.

So in the famous words of President Ronald Reagen… “Bono!  Tear down this wall!”

News Headline #2 – Maria Sharapova dating Lakers’ Sasha Vujacic

Ok U2.  Come here.  Have a seat.  If your going to be at least partly responsible for unions such as Maria and this fag than you need to just stop what you’re doing all together and go drown yourself in an acid bath.  Hook Susan Boyle up with somebody for tits sake!  You guys suck.  Your music sucks.  And your really pissing me off!

On a final note, Bono is a douche.

La NBA es una inagotable fuente de chismorreos. Los líos de faldas de los basquetboleros están a la orden del día y sus amoríos saltan de la pista a las páginas rosas con una tremenda versatilidad que ni Larry Bird en sus mejores tiempos. Los centímetros cotizan alto entre las señoritas, esto lo saben hasta los monjes de Santo Domingo de la Cogolla, pero si el mito se alarga hasta los dos metros ya ni te cuento. El sex-apeal de los gigantones del aro parece no tener límite. Y si el residente habita en Malibú o Bervely Hills la cosa está que arde, porque lo que es en España, a dos velas. Llevamos un verano de idas y venidas con el señor Lamar Odon, reciéntemente casado con una modelo de apellido caucasiano –Khloe Kardashian– y piernas interminables que tiene en sus apariciones televisivas en reallities subiditos de tono con sus otras dos hermanas su acceso al famoseo. El bodorrio del Laker y la guapetona tuvo migas y se alargó por la falta de un acuerdo prenupcial para dejar las cosas claras antes del futurible divorcio, que estás mezclas no suelen salir nada pero que nada bien.

Pero no es el único en el vestuario del Staples que tiene un hueco en las páginas del Hallo! tras los pasos por los juzgados del señor Kobe Bryant por un casquete hotelero. Resulta que el señor Sasha Vujacic está flirteando con la rusa Maria Sharapova, esa tenista que repite longuitud interminable de piernas y que lanza unos alaridos que quién los quisiera en la línea de fondo. El peloteo ha saltado a los mentideros de varias publicaciones yankees del ramo y parece que se les ha visto de la manita en el último concierto de U2 por tierras californianas.  Y resulta que Sasha es el mejor colega de Pau Gasol (recuerdan los rumores con la señora Pataky) en el vestuario. ¿Podría hacer ‘Gasolina’ de enviado especial de Sálvame o salir en DEC para sacarse un sobre suelto desvelando los secretos de alcoba de la pareja?

Hagamos recuento… Parker pasó por el aro de Longoria, el prejubilado Marko Jaric duerme al lado de Lima, ahora ésto… Para que luego no digan que los europeos no tienen buena mano en la NBA. Y algo más, digo yo.

MARIA SHARAPOVA AND SASHA VUJACIC.

That’s right. SbB is all over this one. There had been reports that the two had been seen together lately, but Tennis man, Matt Cronin kicked it up a notch earlier today stating: “Sharapova recently began dating the Lakers’ Sasha Vujacic. Now if she can only help “The Machine” get his deadly jump shot back.”

There’s still a little bit of fogginess regarding the seriousness of the relationship, but this Matt Cronin happens to be the Managing Editor of Inside Tennis Magazine, so there’s definitely some credibility there.

For the record, The Navy did not endorse the marriage of Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian, even though this picture wouldn’t have happened.

Now Sash just needs some minutes.

Masha and look-a-like winner Courtney Witz

Maria Sharapova helped out Sony Ericsson and T-Mobile on Halloween at the launch of T-Mobile’s new playground store in Los Angeles and SE’s new Equinox mobile phone. Of course, she comes to my side of town when I’m not here.

There were lots of activities during the event including a Maria Sharapova look-a-like contest in which Masha picked out the winner herself. Ridiculous, I know, but it was Halloween so we can forgive the event coordinators for that. She picked Courtney Witz (nope sorry, that’s not Forty Deuce, tennis geeks!) out of 5 contestants who dared to register. Too bad none of them are my neighbors.

Masha looked amazing and sported those curls that I oh so love. I obviously missed a lot.

Images via WireImage

Maria Sharapova launches the new Sony Ericsson Equinox. Photo via Getty.

Maria Sharapova celebrated Halloween in Los Angeles, and made an apperance at the launch of the new Sony Ericsson Equinox phone.

Usually, Sharapova gets her style right. This time, she did one mistake – the strange, black pants. Maria, they should have been skinny OR harem style! Something in between? Does not work so well…

The hair is great though.

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