Commenter McKenzie posted this link in one of the other posts. It’s famous theologian John Piper’s list of questions to discuss before a couple gets married.

Here’s the section on theology:

• What do you believe about…everything?
• Perhaps read through the Desiring God Affirmation of Faith to see where each other is on various biblical doctrines.
• Discover how you form your views. What is the reasoning-believing process? How do you handle the Bible?

The last line there is important because I think that if I got married, I would have to have some way to win my wife over to my point of view on areas where she did not agree with me. I think that there is only one way to do that, and that’s by trying to convince her to study the issue and to see if her views change in my direction as a result of studying. So during the courtship, I would want to try to change her mind by having her study things with me.

I don’t believe that people can change their minds by an act of will. The only way to change a person’s mind is to give them space to consider arguments and evidence on both sides of a question. At least, that’s how I come to my beliefs about things. Anyway, I think that this question “how do you form your views?” is very important because it the person forms their views by studying, then I will have a way to move forward when we disagree about things.

Here are some other questions that would be fun to discuss:

• What is the meaning of headship and submission in the Bible and in our marriage?
• How do you understand who and how often sex is initiated?
• What about school? Home school? Christian school? Public school?
• Should we have a television? Where? What is fitting to watch? How much?
• What makes you angry?
• How do you handle your frustration or anger?
• Who is the main breadwinner?
• Should the wife work outside the home? Before kids? With kids at home? After kids?
• What are your views of daycare for children?
• What determines where you will locate? Job? Whose job? Church? Family?
• Is it good to do things with friends but without spouse?
• What will you do if one of you really likes to hang out with so and so and the other doesn’t?
• How do you think about exercise and healthy eating?

I think that it would be so much fun to talk about things like this in a relationship where both people were trying to see how and whether a marriage would work. It seems to me that these are the kinds of topics people should talk about when courting, and they should definitely not be focused so much on having fun. I tend to talk more about apologetics stuff with women, because I want to assess whether they can protect the children’s worldviews.

One thing that has always driven me crazy is when people say that they are looking for a spouse with whom they have many things in common. I disagree with this approach! Marriage is like a job, and you need particular skills to do it. Two narcissists may have narcissism in common, but that doesn’t qualify them to be happily married. A much better approach is to take a list of questions like Piper’s list and talk through them over a period of time.

You know what’s fun? A man and a woman talking seriously about how to get married and raise children. I’m a software engineer, and I love to design software. Thinking about how to marry and have children is fun for me, because it’s like software design. Identifying the challenges and solving all the problems that might come up is really interesting.

United Kingdom publication Daily Star has reported that rapper Kanye West will marry publicized girlfriend/supermodel Amber Rose in 2010.

Kanye is reportedly planning on tying the knot with the former stripper sometime next year in the Caribbean. A friend told the Britain’s Daily Star newspaper: “He has really bonded with her since losing his mother and needs another strong woman in his life.” Apparently they’re going to stay in a eight-bedroom villa in the Dominican Republic for the romantic occasion. The friend added, “He’s very serious, otherwise he wouldn’t be spending that much money on her.”

Joe McElderry has said that he would kiss Dannii Minogue and marry Cheryl Cole if forced to choose.

The X Factor winner told iVillage that he had a close relationship with Cole, who mentored him during the reality talent contest.

When asked who he would kiss and wed of the two female judges, McElderry said: “Well that’s a difficult one! I think I’d snog Dannii and marry Cheryl. I think that would be interesting.”

Of his relationship with Cole, he added: “Because we’re from the same area we got on really well.

“She calls in all time to see how I’m getting on, and I class her as a really good friend. I can see why people say we’re like brother and sister.”

Earlier this week, McElderry confirmed that he was straight and single, but not looking for a girlfriend at the moment.

Source

Word is Diddy is getting ready to settle down and Kim Porter should be expecting a proposal in the coming days.  He even reportedly purchased a 12-carat ring and sent Cassie on her way.  He also took some time recently  to talk to Playboy about a secret affair he was carrying out not too long ago.  He says he was involved with a young actress but because they were such big stars she told him “it’s not going to work”.  He says if it came out it would have been Puff and J. Lo part 2.

Cassie we’ll miss you!

I was sitting at my computer, iTunes was opened, and I was thinking of a playlist that I could never get bored of. For me, this is hard, because I am always finding new music and obsessing over a song or artist then moving on. I then got to thinking about the songs that will never die. Songs that have touched me or make me think. A few stood out:

1) Return to Oz by The Scissor Sisters

I was always touched by the lyrics of this song.  It reminds me of a time in my life where I started seeing the world for what it really was, and that amazing, accepting, glamorous place turned stale. I find the song so beautiful and the lyrics like a poem.

2) The Funeral of Queen Mary by Henry Purcell

This song was played in the beginning of A CLockwork Orange, and so, of course, every time I hear this song I am reminded of a movie that had so much of an impact on me. It is also such a dark, disturbing song, which gives it a lasting impression.

3) Heaven Must Be Missing an Angel by Tavares

This song is the most important song in my life. My daddy and I used to sing this song in the car all the time, and even when I went through that phase where corny disco music became “stupid” and “uncool”, I was always there with my dad belting it out and telling my dad that he was off-key. He said that they wrote that song for him to sing to me.

4) Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk by Rufus Wainwright

This song always, without a doubt, reminds me of Christmas and Chai tea lattes. I think it is because I started listening to it during Christmas while drinking a chai tea latte. I have a scene in my head of my mom and I driving home from shopping on a sunday, late afternoon and it starts to snow.

5) Origin of Love by Stephen Trask

The ideas presented in this song are so interesting, and the movie, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, has been a part of me for a long time. It reminds me of last winter my father was alive, which was a very (for lack of a better word) strange time in my life. This song brings back memories of the person that was always there for me after school, my babysitter, Kari. She was my best friend and understood all the shit I was going through. I look up to her so much; from her amazing talent playing guitar and singing, to her kindness and energy. She showed me the movie, so anything having to do with Hedwig brings back Kari.

6) Ghost Song by Jim Morrison

I have a HUGE crush on Jim Morrison. I don’t care that he is dead, he is still the hottest man… “alive”. This song is so poetic and so touching. The picture it paints is a delicate work of art. I just love this song and the feeling it presents.

7) The Theme Song to Cheers by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo

Haha! My friends make fun of me sooo much for loving this show, but it brings me back to when I was a kid in Florida, and my dad would let me stay up so I could watch Cheers. It is, to this day, still my favorite show. Whether it be the fact that it makes me laugh out loud, or that I love Shelley Long, or that it brings back memories of my daddy, but whatever it is, it makes me smile the biggest smile, both inside and out.

Do read this letter carefully and see how creative it is.

Read this “Hate Letter”. It is so funny and creative.This is a love letter

from a boy to a girl….

However, the girl’s father does not like him and want them stop their

relationship. …and so.. the boy wrote this letter to the girl..he knows

that the girl’s father will definitely read this letter……

you read this letter and then the message after it

“The great love that I have for you

is gone, and I find my dislike for you

grows every day. When I see you,

I do not even like your face;

the one thing that I want to do is to

look at other girls. I never wanted to

marry you. Our last conversation

was very boring and has not

made me look forward to seeing you again.

You think only of yourself.

If we were married, I know that I would find

life very difficult, and I would have no

pleasure in living with you. I have a heart

to give, but it is not something

that I want to give to you. No one is more

foolish and selfish than you, and you are not

able to care for me and help me.

I sincerely want you to understand that

I speak the truth. You will do me a favor

if you think this is the end. Do not try

to answer this. Your letters are full of

things that do not interest me. You have no

true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,

I don’t care for you. Please don’t think that

I am still your boyfriend.”

So bad!!!!!!! is it???

However,

Before handing over the letter to the girl,

The boy told the girl to “READ BETWEEN THE LINES”…

Between the lines ? ? Try yourself…

Read the Alternate Lines.. [ 1,3,5 etc... ]

It’s so smart & sweet….

Check Out The True Love Quiz

One of my four year old students approached me recently and asked…
“When I grow up, can I marry you?”

I told him that would not be a good idea. When he grows up, I will be very old and wrinkly.

Another child standing nearby shouted…

“No she wont! She wont be old! She wont be wrinkly!”

I was beginning to feel good about myself – almost believing that child was telling the truth until he added…

“Cuz when you grow up, she’ll be dead!”

(That kid killed me before I was ready to go.)

Copyright © (2009) Diane

to continue along the lines of the upcoming “Name all the creatures!!NAME THEM!!!!” debacle soon to be revealed on AATM, here are 2 snippets of video from the recent non-MFer/Engagement extravaganza 2009:

from these videos i draw 2 conclusions -

1) i have a very large array of facial expressions, in fact, i am somewhat muppet-like

2) i need major neck liposuction-ectomy. eeesh!

and how cute is that fiance of mine??!! that is all.

A court in Beijing is helping couples to fight infidelity by making it easier for a spouse to press charges against their partner.

The Haidian court will allocate more time to investigate cases of infidelity if the complainant can provide pictures, e-mails or text messages of their partner in intimate relations with another person, said judge Zhang Xuan.

Previously the court would only continue a case if it had strong evidence such as documents to prove cohabitation or sexual intercourse, Zhang said.

When a partner tries to prove his or her innocence, it’s possible for them to undergo a medical examination to prove if sex took place outside of their marriage, Zhang said.

But doctors at Peking hospital say the exam must be performed within 48 hours of sexual activity to be valid.

Doctors take a sperm sample and check activity to determine if the man has ejaculated recently. The case of women is much stronger because the hospital will check any sperm remaining in her vagina against her husband’s by using DNA techniques.

In April, a 43-year-old woman surnamed Hu sued her husband, surnamed Xue, at Haidian district court for infidelity. She also applied for divorce.

Hu presented photos of her husband with a young woman, as well as e-mails and short messages, to the court and demanded 180,000 yuan in compensation for mental damages.

Xue denied he had an affair, saying the compensation was unreasonable, and Xue refused to divorce Hu.

Hu made a court request for Xue to undergo a medical examination to prove that he was guilty. Xue agreed.

The medical examination report said: “Xue has had no sexual relationship within 48 hours, based on his sperm activity level.”

Zhang said the court strongly valued the medical examination and this prompted the couple to withdraw the case with fears of damaging their personal reputations.

From January to October, the court dealt with 2,764 divorce cases, of which 995 were triggered by extramarital affairs, according to court statistics.

Zhang said collecting relevant evidence of extramarital affairs is often difficult because the court does not accept photos obtained without permission.

“In order to protect women’s rights, we prefer the idea of stating in court that there has been ‘cold domestic violence’ as a way to support divorce request lawsuits,” she said.

Zhang said that in previous divorce lawsuits, the court always made its decision based on whether or not the couple’s emotional connection had broken down.

However, this is usually difficult to prove. Some women sue their husbands in court and apply for divorce by claiming that their husbands are showing affectionate apathy towards them, but again it is hard to prove, Zhang said.

The court said about 60 percent of citizens involved in divorce proceedings hold at least a bachelor’s degree, and men more than twice as likely to have an affair than women.

This phenomenon is largely due to men generally having higher degrees than their wives, and holding managerial positions in well-paid industries such as finance or technology.

Women play supporting roles at home and this creates an imbalance of power. According to the court, affairs frequently occur in relationships when the couples both work and travel as a result of highly paid jobs.

bron: www.chinadaily.com.cn [9-12-2009]

 Yes, come in.

 When I looked up, it was a new face. She was a very young girl, whom I had not seen earlier. As the Bank Manager, I used to meet almost all well known people of the town, but she did not appear like a customer. There was something elusive and attractive about her innocent face. She sat down only when I told her.

 What can I do for you?

 Sir, I want to stay in your hostel.

 Who told you about my lodge? It is my house. I stay in the first floor and in the ground floor they are all men. No female in my house. I am a bachelor, unlikely to marry at my age of fifty five.

 How does it matter? I shall occupy a room in the first floor with you.

 I do not know you. Who are you? Don’t you have your parents?

 When she told about her father, I was surprised, he is one of the richest in the town. She had some reasons which obviously she does not want to share with me.

 I was in a dilemma. I did not want to annoy her. I was reluctant to admit her to my house. What will people say?

 Sir, you will have no problem with me. I will come at 5 pm.

Thus she left me wondering, what lie shall I tell my lodge mates to keep their mouths shut?

 She came exactly at five. After winding up my work, we left for my house in her car.

 There was only one or two in the lodge. We went upstairs and opened my room. It had the typical bachelor’s look, with newspapers, magazines, writing pads etc. scattered here and there, my shirt thrown on the bed and bath towel hanging on the rope. She took it all in one glance. You can see the rooms, so saying, I left her and joined the men in the lodge.

 Who is this girl?  A distant relation; may stay here for a couple of days. She was in the States.

 Actually she looked very odd in her loose pants and T-shirt, with her hair cut very short, and care free walk. So I thought it convenient to explain, pre-empting further questions.

 After some time, she came down with black coffee. All were pleasantly surprised.

 You may wonder who I am. My name is Tinu. I am studying in evening college.

 Then she asked the whereabouts of all, including myself. She left soon. I was relieved.

When I went to my room, I found every thing in order. She had swept all the three rooms, opened the windows and switched on the fans. Soon she returned with her baggage, a lot of books and a bed roll. She occupied the room next to mine.

 She distributed cakes and sweets among us and invited us to dinner in an expensive restaurant. She hired a car so that all can go together. After dinner, we said good night and retired to our rooms.

 For some time I could not sleep. Early morning at five, she came with bed coffee.

 Get ready, we are going for the morning walk, she declared.

 When I looked in surprise, she continued: I know you are not in the habit. But who will take care of your health? Tomorrow I have fixed up with a doctor.

She walked very fast and I found it impossible to keep pace.  After half an hour,we was returned.

 She prepared break fast of sandwiches and told me she will bring lunch to the Bank.

The next day, I was nervous when the doctor told me to lie down in the bed in the consultancy room and fitted all those gadgets and wires. My heart began to beat faster. Blood, urine and sputum were also examined.

 On our return, she said my ECG was normal. It was a great relief.

It seems she is a dietician. I thought she forgot to put salt in the curry. When I reminded her about it, she gave me a lecture on the desirability of reducing salt intake. That bewitching smile can disarm any die hard glutton! I gave up.

 On Sundays, we used to drive aimlessly. Whenever we like, we stop, eat fruits which she always stocks in plenty in the car, and drink coffee from the thermos flask. A hill top is always preferred.

Often I like something spicy to eat, but she will object.

One evening I saw a young fellow with a Nepali look, talking to her at home.

Who is he?

 He wants some work.

 But we don’t need any watchman here.

 I am thinking of giving him some project. The west side is just a forest now. We can set up a cattle shed there. Initially ten cows will do. I will manage all expenses. This boy will do the work.

 I thought about it. Not a bad idea. So the work  started immediately, and in record time a dairy farm was ready. We all enjoyed good cow’s milk, curd and ghee. In due course, a chicken farm too was established.

 For some days she went away. I never questioned her activities. So I did not ask where she was going or when she will return.

 One fine morning she came with a new born baby with a trained nurse to look after the baby. We all were curious to know about the baby boy which was somewhat dark. I studiously avoided asking any question.

 At night, I came out into the balcony and stood watching the sky. There were a few stars. Some white clouds moved slowly, aimlessly across the sky. The eastern horizon was becoming brighter and presently, the half moon rose reluctantly, as though with a guilty feeling about being so late.

 She was standing very close to me. I don’t know how long we were standing like that, immersed in the enjoyment of nature, so pure and calm.

 I came alive, when she placed her feathery soft hand on my shoulder. She smiled shyly and said softly: it is this quality which I like in you, Sir. Any one else would have asked a thousand questions about this baby.

 She kissed my cheek and continued: before telling you everything, let us relax.

 So saying, she gently took my hand and led to my room.

 During the last one year, she had carried out extensive repairs in the whole building, to make it more comfortable and modern. The west side wall of my room was demolished and replaced by a single glass pane which can be lowered, like the glass window of a car. Now I can view the sloping grass land beyond our house, and the sun set.

 My small bed was replaced by a double bed, all with her money. We now lay down side by side and she continued: I have a fast friend in the US. I too was there. She wanted to terminate pregnancy, but I strongly objected. So we came secretly to India. She gave birth to this baby in a hospital in Calcutta, in total privacy as she is still unmarried. I went there and took custody of the baby, saying I am her sister. In the birth certificate, my name was given as mother. A large amount of money has been deposited in the boy’s name, in the Hyderabad branch of your Bank, from where I extracted all information about you, and this is how I came to you in advance, to secure a place to live, in total privacy. I thank God I was not mistaken in my calculations.

 You are very sweet. Afterwards I began to love you.

 She turned to me and asked: have you ever loved any one?

 I do not think so.

 Can you love me?

 I do not know what love is.

 Do you read poetry?

 No.

She remained silent for some time. She then embraced me and said: poor boy. There is nobody to look after you. Now you have to marry me, as the baby must have a father. We cannot live incognito all the while.

 Are you afraid?

 I shall think about it.

Did you miss me when I went to Calcutta?

 YES, VERY MUCH.

 I too wanted to fly back as soon as possible. This is love. So saying, she kissed me long and passionately.

December 14 Rush.

Hmmm, a rush… what has given me a rush this year… anything?

Oh I know!  I got a huge buzz when friends of mine asked me to marry them! That was an awesome feeling. The wedding is in January and I know I’m going to be high on it

Typically in the US, weddings are usually held around spring or summer. The only exception to that implicit rule are the Filipinos who reside in the tropical region of the Philippines. Why? Filipinos are hard-core believers of the Catholic faith and getting married  in the month of December is considered to be a blessing for the marriage.

In SL, we don’t have  to follow a season to get married. We simple follow our hearts. Being said so, a winter wonderland- themed wedding isn’t out -of the ordinary.

I’ve got three sets and I don’t think I’ll be marrying someone anytime soon… which is rather misfortunate since I don’t have any interested bachelors    Weddings are expensive in RL and it can be for SL, but if you are on a strict budget , you may have to look for  glamorous gowns that aren’t that ridiculously priced. I managed to find 3 dollarbee- freebie wedding gowns that won’t hurt your pockets. The gowns that I found are exquisitely made to fit a blooming bride.

I found this in Xstreet and the quality is impressive. The details on the bodice and and the dress are absolutely adoring.

Gown:  !sonia Rosalinda Dress white 1L

I was doing a google search on “freebie wedding gown second life” and stumbled along Farah Palmer’s FabFree blog post dated October 28, 2009.  I thought I would never find the gown because it says “time limited, october only.” Though I still tp-ed to the place and found it!   I suggest you follow my slurl because the store moved.

Gown: Ero Rabbi—Weddings Dress       0L

Bouquet: Ero Rabbi rose Bouquet             0L

**** There is also a FREEBIE white wedding tux for the gents, unfortunately my friend, Turbo isn’t on to parade the tux in my studio. So you all will have to tp there and have a look! ******

This gown came from Wetherby’s ! Unfortunately, timing is rather bad in posting this because the top half of the dress became a group freebie last Monday and the bottom half is a MM board price won last night. However, you can still tp to Wetherby’s and buy them which will probably be around 100L. I believe that 1ooL is a reasonable price and the quality is stunning!

Top half: #243 Wetherby’s MiaLavan Dayoff Dress          (Group Monday freebie)    0L (Regular price: 100L)

Bottom half”: #243 Wetherby’sMiaLavan Dayoff Dress – Optional Prim Skirt       (MM board)    0L

I’m not sure about the price, but you can always ask the assistance at the store or the product creator: Alejandra Jumanya.

Like any women in SL and RL, I am looking forward to the day I finally get married. But for now, I’d like to find Mr. Right. Anyways, I hope I’ve helped some ladies who are looking for gowns that won’t cost them 1000L or more.

“When you make a sacrifice in marriage, you’re sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship.”
- Joseph Campbell

Stay beautiful!

~Aurora Savira

“You know what I want to do today? I want to marry you.”

-jim halpert (the office).