I know what else you’re probably thinking. Wait, how can you be an aunt already? Your brother is only 13. And I have yet to see him featured on Jerry Springer.

Well, with marriage comes benefits. And so in addition to being entitled to 50 percent of the fries on my husband’s plate, irregardless of the fact I ordered a salad, I also gained two nieces. Two adorable and wonderful nieces. Two adorable and wonderful nieces who are both celebrating their birthdays this week.

(And just to reiterate, two adorable and wonderful nieces who are both celebrating their birthdays this week and that are better than your nieces).

I must admit, it feels pretty awesome to be an aunt finally. I mean, technically I didn’t become Sydney and Kiera’s aunt until I was 28. And by that time, most of the people I knew were already aunts and uncles. So I had a pretty steep learning curve.

But I must say, it seemed to come pretty naturally (just like how wedgies and noogies came naturally once my brother was born…speaking of which, what up, turd-face?).

That is to say, most of it comes naturally. I still haven’t gotten the hang of sending them their birthday presents out on time so that they actually get them when they are supposed to (although in my defense, I’m lucky if I remember to feed my dog on a daily basis).

And so, to try and save face as an aunt and to tide them over until their presents arrive,** I drew these incredibly unskilled pictures of them as princesses!!!

Happy birthday, Sydney and Kiera! I love you!

P.S. While I don’t have any solid proof, I highly suspect these two are also secret members of the mass baby marketing campaign I’ve written about before that has been waging an all-out assault on my latent maternal instincts. And I have to admit, it’s starting to work. In fact, if I could guarantee my kids would turn out an eighth of the level of awesomeness those two are, I’d pop out five right now.***

*Exception: My own four aunts and uncles.

**Which should be before you girls go off to college…graduate school at the latest.

***Mom, simmer down. I said only if I could GUARANTEE.