Οι απαιτήσεις του Mass Effect 2, δείτε τα νέα βίντεο | Game 2.0

Η Bioware αποκάλυψε τις απαιτήσεις του πολυαναμενόμενου Mass Effect 2, τις οποίες μπορείτε να δείτε παρακάτω.

 

Παράλληλα, η εταιρεία ανακοίνωσε ότι το παιχνίδι θα χρησιμοποιεί ένα βασικό disk check DRM και δεν θα απαιτεί online ενεργοποίηση. Όλα καλά.

Τέλος, μετά τις απαιτήσεις παρακάτω παραθέτω δύο νέα βίντεο του τίτλου, στα οποία παρουσιάζεται η Tali και η Adept class αντίστοιχα.[more]

BioWare’s writing has always been brilliant and Dragon Age is no exception. In addition the voice cast is the most divers and almost best out of all their games. It would have been the best if Raphael Sbarge [Carth Onasi, Kaiden Alenko] had a part, but I digress..

Apart from the well written main quest and the conversations and the general tone, there are conversations between different party members along the way. KotOR did this and Mass Effect tried to make the long elevator rides more bearable.

Alistair early on seemed interesting and quickly became my favourite character, although he’s fairly useless in battle next to my warrior. The best party conversations so far have all involved him, however, and I wouldn’t want to miss out on them, even though I still don’t fully like his actual voice.

Talking to the witch:

Alistair: “Why do you always go on about how stupid I am? I’m not stupid, am I?”
Morrigan: “If you need to ask the question…”
Alistair: “Because it hurts my manly feelings you know. All one of them.”
Morrigan: “Then I’ll be sure to write you an apology once all of this is over.”
Alistair: “I was educated by the Chantry. I studied history. They don’t make stupid templars.”
Morrigan: “Then I must have been mistaken. I’m very impressed.”
Alistair: “No you’re not. You’re not even listening to me.”
Morrigan: “My, you are smarter than you look after all. Your Chantry must have been very proud!”

—

Morrigan: So you met this sibling of yours?
Alistair: Half-sister, but yes.
Morrigan: And she turned out to be an insufferable hag?
Alistair: You’d have liked her. You two have a lot in common.
Morrigan: And you let her berate you? Without punishment?
Alistair: It’s moments like this when I truly appreciate the difference between you and me.
Morrigan: (Scoffs) ‘Tis moments like this when I truly wonder at the difference between you and a toadstool.

—

Morrigan: You… do not truly think I look as my mother does, do you?
Alistair: Have you really been thinking about that all this time?
Morrigan: I am simply curious.
Alistair: And not insecure in the slightest, I’m sure.
Morrigan: I think I look nothing like her.
Alistair: I don’t know. Give it a few hundred years and it’ll be a spot-on match.
Morrigan: I said that I look nothing like her!
Alistair: All right. Got it. Totally different. I see that now.

—

Chatting to the dwarf. Think Gimli, just drunk:

Alistair: What? You’re… you’re drunk, aren’t you?
Oghren: Eh? Was that a question? It didn’t sound like a question.
Alistair: How in the Maker’s name do you manage to be constantly drunk? Are we even carrying that much alcohol with us?
Oghren: Jealous, huh? (Laughs)
Alistair: A little, yes. Why can’t I be drunk all the time? I never get to be drunk.
Oghren: You know, if you drank more wine, you would whine much less.

—

Talking to Zevran, the guy with an Antonio Banderas’ accent:

Zevran: So are you a very religious man, Alistair? I am curious. I believe I heard you say you were raised in an abbey?
Alistair: I was raised in a castle. I was schooled in the abbey. As far as being religious… I don’t know. Not especially. What about you? Not in your line of work, I expect.
Zeveran: Why do you say that? I happen to be quite devoted, in my way, as most Antivans are.
Alistair: Truly? But you kill people. For money.
Zeveran: And I ask forgiveness for my sins from the Maker every chance I get. What manner of monster do you think I am?
Alistair: But… you ask forgiveness and then you go right on with your sinning?
Zeveran: The Maker has never objected. Why should you?
Alistair: I… have no idea.
Zeveran: Well there you go. Perhaps you ought to think about asking for a little forgiveness yourself, hm?

—

And after ‘experiencing the thrill of romance with Alistair’:

Oghren: So. With the boss, aye?
Alistair: Pardon?
Oghren: You and the boss. Rolling your oats.
Alistair: I don’t know–
Oghren: Polishing the footstones.
Alistair: –what you’re–
Oghren: Tapping the midnight still, if you will.
Alistair: what are you going on about?
Oghren: Forging the moaning statue. Bucking the forbidden horse. Donning the velvet hat.
Alistair: Are you just making these up right now?
Oghren: Nope. Been saving ‘em.

—

Zevran: Might I offer you a bit of advice, my good friend Alistair?
Alistair: I like my hair the way it is, thank you.
Zevran: Truly? As you wish… though my advice is regarding something else completely. It has to do with your recent… exertions with your fellow Grey Warden that I overheard.
Alistair: My…? Oh.
Zevran: It did seem as if you just got going when all grew quiet. You are… feeling all right, yes? Perhaps you are tired?
Alistair: We aren’t talking about this, are we? Did I hit my head?
Zevran: I have some roots from home that you may chew if you need energy. As for volume, perhaps you ought to try arching your–
Alistair: Whoa! Whoa! Awkward!
Zevran: You Fereldans are so finicky. How will you ever learn how to pleasure each other unless you talk about it?
Alistair: not listening! La la la la la!

—

And then there’s this..

Alistair: Do you really know what’s going on here? The Blight, the civil war… I really wonder how much of it you understand.
Dog: (He wags tail happily.)
Alistair: We’re all special… big parts to play. Even you. Especially you, in some ways. You are the mabari. You guard one of the most important people–
Dog: (Excited Bark)
Alistair: What?
Dog: (Excited barking!)
Alistair: You… you want to play? But I’m talking. Why doesn’t anyone want to hear me talk?

Got to be a part of a roundtable Q/A with Bioware’s Casey Hudson, the project director of Mass Effect 2. Most of the information had already made its way around the web, but much of it’s now clarified. A few new tidbits as well, and it’s not lacking on reflections on the original Mass Effect, either. Transcribing it took forever, check it out at Digital Chumps:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

BioWare ist der Meinung das man in dieser Gen nicht an der PS3 vorbeikommt , so hat man sich entschlossen intern für die wichtigste Plattform dieser Gen zu entwicklen .

Wir halten [die PS3] natürlich für eine der Schlüsselplattformen, wir werden also definitiv PS3-Dinge machen“, entgegnete BioWare Chef Greg Zeschuk auf die Frage, ob die PS3-Entwicklung in Zukunft In-House erfolgen werde.

Ein weiterer Entwickler der einsehen muss das man in dieser Gen unmöglich an der PS3 vorbeikommt .

Quelle

Christmas is nearly upon us so we here at the G4A fun house thought that before we get too drunk we would try to help you all out with  lists of 5  games on each format that we consider to be essential purchases.

So lets start with Microsoft’s beige box of wonderment the Xbox 360. If you are lucky enough to be unwrapping one of these Christmas morning these are some of the games you should hunt down in bargain bins or on Ebay as soon as you can afford to, or else RIGHT!!!

1. Bioshock

Ken Levine’s Art Deco underwater FPS masterpiece is a gaming tour de force. Everything in this game is a cut above from the art direction to script it is a ‘how to’ list of gaming goodness. After your plane crashes into the Atlantic sea you happen upon what looks to be a simple lighthouse which in fact is the gateway to Rapture, an  underwater city. Rapture was the ideological dream of Andrew Ryan a place where all the worlds leading luminaries could live together in a kind of intellectual utopia free from war and other such troubles. When you happen across it though it has completely gone to rack and ruin with dead bodies and flooded corridors at every turn. Crazed genetically mutated splicers roam the corridors looking for their next fix of ‘Adam’ the source genetic substance that allows you to alter your abilities. With a fantastically adult story (by this I mean it never once insults your intelligence),wonderful gameplay mechanics and beautiful Art Deco graphics this is a title that every gamer worth their salt should play. You will never forget defeating you first Big Daddy or the decision you make regarding his Little Sister, complete and utter genius. Lets just hope that Bioshock 2 lives up its predecessor but we here at G4A do have our doubts (but fingers crossed eh?).

2. Mass Effect

Bioware’s  Xbox exclusive, epic space soap opera RPG is a game with few peers. It is a Sci-fi epic on the scale of both Star Trek and Star Wars. Placing you in the shoes of Commander Shepherd, the first human to become a Spectre agent and charged with saving the galaxy. It boasts an incredibly well scripted and acted story with adult themes and explosive gameplay this game is up their with the very best to be found. Also as part of trilogy you really need to have played this before the sequel hits early next year.

3. The Orange Box

This compilation of Valve goodies is far too good to be ignored. Containing 5 games this was incredible value when it launched at £39.99, so it is damn near essential now that it can be picked in bargain bins for sub £15. To be truthfully honest it would be worth that much just for Portal on its own. The first person gravity defying puzzle game redefined what a first person game could be. Add on top that Half Life 2, Half Life 2: Episodes 1 and 2 and Team Fortress 2 and this is a proper bumper gaming package. Go get it now, I tells ya.

4. Gears Of War 1 & 2

Ignoring the fact this game series brought supposed games designer “Cliffy Blah Blah Blazinsky” to the fore at Epic you would have to be a fool not to count these games as titles you need to have if you own an Xbox. These games are straight up, good old-fashioned dumb Hollywood blockbuster action with incredible graphics. Forget about the dumb ass sub B-Movie plot and immerse yourself in well designed gored up shooting. With the aforementioned stunning graphics, rock solid gaming mechanics and enjoyable online modes you need to experience both of these exceptional titles. Roll on Gears 3 which I reckon is a shoe in for Xmas 2010 but until then get these in as soon as you can.

5. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

Hitting the streets just a few short months after the Xbox 360’s launch Bethesda’s massive fantasy role player remains a must buy. With an absolutely huge open world to explore and all manner of side quests to do this is still regarded by many to be the best role player on the Xbox. You can literally go anywhere or do anything it is entirely up to you whether you follow the storyline or just get on with leading another life. Speaking of storyline just before he is assassinated, Emperor Septim passes you the “Amulet Of Kings” and tasks you with finding his son, The illegitimate heir to the throne of Tamiril. What follows is your usual stock fantasy fiction story but with compelling gameplay, beautiful graphics and top voice acting, including Patrick Stewart it is a stunning game. For fans of fantasy fiction and or role players this game is essential. With the game of the year edition (which includes all the downloadable content) costing £15 or less you really have no excuses not to give this a go. Bethesda have remained largely quiet on the follow-up but rest assured as soon as we know anything we will let you peeps know ASAP.

The above list is just a few games that we here at the G4A fun house think that any new owners of an Xbox 360 should try.  If any of you out there want to suggest any other must try games for the Xbox 360 please add them in the comments section below. I’m now off for a beer so piss off and have a Merry Christmas.

Moonhead

Mass Effect 2 is very close now, due on January 26 (or 29 for Europe). Unlike its predecessor, it is set for simultaneous release on both Xbox 360 and PC.

PC owners who were wondering if their boxes, which would happily run Mass Effect, could handle the sequel need not fear, as the minimum requirements are the same (or even lower!) than the 2008 release’s. The full list of minimum and recommended requirements follows after the jump.

[via Big Download]

PC MINIMUM System Requirements
OS = Windows XP SP3 / Windows Vista SP1 / Windows 7
Processor = 1.8GHz Intel Core 2 Duo or equivalent AMD CPU
Memory = 1 GB RAM for Windows XP / 2 GB RAM for Windows Vista and Windows 7
Hard Drive = 15 GB
DVD ROM = 1x Speed
Sound Card = DirectX 9.0c compatible
Direct X = DirectX 9.0c August 2008 (included)
Input = Keyboard / Mouse
Video Card = 256 MB (with Pixel Shader 3.0 support).
Supported Chipsets: NVIDIA GeForce 6800 or greater; ATI Radeon X1600 Pro or greater.

Please note that NVIDIA GeForce 7300, 8100, 8200, 8300, 8400, and 9300; ATI Radeon HD3200, and HD4350 are below minimum system requirements. Updates to your video and sound card drivers may be required. Intel and S3 video cards are not officially supported in Mass Effect 2.

PC RECOMMENDED System Requirements
Windows XP SP3 / Windows Vista SP1 / Windows 7
2.6+ GHz Cure 2 Duo Intel or equivalent AMD CPU
2 GB RAM
ATI Radeon HD 2900 XT, NVIDIA GeForce 8800 GT, or better recommended
100% DirectX compatible sound card and drivers
DirectX August 2008

So I arrived home from work today and checked my post, and sure enough sitting there, in my mailbox, was the latest issue of Game Informer – the 200th issue no less.  In honour of their 200th issue, the team over at Game Informer decided to publish their list of the top 200 games of all time, so I thought I’d share some of the results with you.

Don’t panic, I’m not going to list all 200 with their reasoning, you’ll need to buy the magazine if you want that, but I thought I’d pull out a couple of highlights…

So, let’s begin at the beginning…  The top game of all time, the ultimate in gaming, the best there ever was?  Read on to find out…

Taking the top spot and pushing out all the rest was, from 1987, arguably unsurprisingly, The Legend of Zelda.

I realise there may be many cries of “Oh but we’ve come so far since then!  What about X, Y or Z?!” but they make some pretty good points in their justification.  As they stated, the Legend of Zelda is responsible for the creation of many lifelong gamers, not to mention future game developers.  This blast from the past may seem primitive in its style now, but it provided the starting point for many future developments, and for the 80’s it was pretty impressive! Shigeru Miyamoto can rest easy knowing that he did indeed create a level of greatness in the gaming industry that others could at that time barely aspire to, and that many have since credited this game as their inspiration.

So what else made it?  In their top 5 are others such as Super Mario Bros (#2), Tetris (#3), GTA III (#4), and Half Life 2(#5) – all very well known and pretty well respected games – it’s almost enough for me to have another bash at Half Life 2, which if I’m honest, never really grabbed me.  “But,” I hear you wail, “where is Mass Effect?!?!”  I know, I know, that was my response too!  So I scoured the lists, I turned page after page until I found it, and they do indeed bill it as “one of the greatest interactive tales we’ve ever experienced” but sadly, and clearly in an horrendous misprint, it only comes in at number 58!!  Despite my now clear disagreement with their positions, I read on anyway to see what else they had come up with…

Perhaps somewhat oddly, given their reasoning for Zelda winning overall, Ms Pac-Man made it into the top 10, whereas Pac-Man itself was held back at a mere 52nd place.  The various Final Fantasies pretty much all made it in, with FFIII the best of the bunch apparently at #8.  The various Mario games all seemed to rank pretty high, with good ol’ Sonic not getting a look in til #34.  Otherwise there are very few surprises, though one or two did make me raise an eyebrow…

Perhaps the biggest shocker personally (other than ME’s clearly incorrect placement) was Batman: Arkham Asylum.  Yes, I know it’s Batman, and yes, I realise to those who are not very discerning that automatically makes it super cool, and yes, the graphics were fantastic, but dear lord the gameplay is shocking.  One button takes out 5 enemies, and to me, that’s just not what this sort of game should be about, so seeing it at #104, above the much loved (by some) Borderlands for instance was a bit of a surprise.  Modern Warfare 2, for all the hype, only made it in at #181, and Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! was in the top 20!?!

So there you have it, a very brief summary of a very lengthy article.  I have no doubt that others will have their opinions on where things should or should not have been included, and which games should have been higher than others, so buy the magazine, read the full article and feel free to let me know what congratulations or exclamations I’ve overlooked, but don’t think you’ll change my mind on poor old Shepard…

Warning: This game talks about sex. This may make you feel uncomfortable. Sorry if it does (Not really.)

So there I was, thinking about what to blog, and not coming up with any answers. Our blog didn’t get even come close to the normal amount of views for our podcast and George’s soapbox posts last week. I needed a good topic that would put us back on the map. I needed a post that would intrigue enough of my friends to the point of “fine, I’ll read your dumb blog.” I turned to my play of Dragon Age: Origins, hoping for some divine inspiration. I then proceeded to woo two of my female companions, one after the other, in the same night. I then proceeded to invite them to ”join me in my tent” as my Human Noble Warrior so eloquently put it. That’s when it I realized my topic. If there’s one subject that can gain reader’s attention, that subject would be…

SEX!

Sex! It's just as good as these balloons!

Or secks, however you want to spell it. Sex is a sensitive subject in the United States. For some reason we’re ok with children watching Pikachu shock poor Meowth to a burnt crisp, but heaven forbid if Pikachu were to find his (her?) soul mate and make little Pikachus on the show. We allow kids to watch violent movies all the time, but cause a humongous ruckus when they see Janet Jackson’s boob while watching the Super Bowl.

VS.

I haven’t heard of any stories where kids run around trying to rip off women’s clothes. Stories of kids beating the shit out of each other trying to be Goku however…

I digress. Sex is a very important subject in entertainment, especially in video games. The interactive nature of the medium can create very powerful moments in love (see: Mass Effect). It can also create some very…controversial ones too.

Sex FTW!

VS.

Sex, FTL! (Game is Artificial Girl 2, look it up.)

So what should the medium do?  There are a thousand ways to view love and sex, yet we only see it portrayed in a couple of ways in video games.

1: Sex As the Ultimate Goal

Don’t get me wrong, I love BioWare. However, relationships in their games, and many other story-driven RPGs, are treated like mini games. What’s waiting for you at the end? A hot cut scene and an achievement notification. This is the least offensive of the ways that sex is being used in video games. It demonstrates that relationships need to be built up over time, and are not a guaranteed thing if you refuse to say the right things. There are however, some fundamental design flaws that fail to capture the essence of the relationship between sex and love between people.

The first issue I have with this style is the message that the gameplay sends. All a player has to do is say the right thing out of two or three options. They can also gift bought items over and over (I’m looking at you Dragon Age) and women will fall madly in love with you (on second thought, maybe this is accurate…). There’s no incompatible people. There’s no heartbreak. If you want her, you can have her (or him).

Second of all, after the start of a relationship (or you have sex), it doesn’t alter the game. Those in a relationship and those not in a relationship will know, people tend to view your choices, decisions and what you say in a very different light when in a relationship. It has a profound impact on a person’s life. If a relationship does alter the game, it’s minor. Maybe your partner might say something flirtatious in private. Maybe he or she might add something extra in dialogue, or show faint feelings of jealousy if you flirt with an NPC. However, it doesn’t fully explore the consequences of the relationship when the player is in one.

This isn’t to say that this approach to sex in video games isn’t bad. It just isn’t good. It fails to capture the nuances of relationships and the beauty of sex. I almost dare to say that games like Mass Effect should include a sex game. But that would make Fox News really angry.

LOL, Fox News fail!

It would also lead to comparisons to…

2: Sex as a Game

Call me Mr. Controversy, but sex games have some merit. Talking with a former EA intern (you know who you are) really made me consider the value of sex games. If there are paintings meant to capture “still life,” then there are video games that are meant to experience “life in movement.” If done well, a sex game has the potential to capture the beauty of a part of the human experience.

The problem with sex games, of course, is that simple-minded design and quick attempts to capitalize on someone’s strong libido has more than diminished the ability of this genre to be recognized as something that could be a legitimate part of the medium. It’s like the difference between a beautiful sex scene in a movie (300) and pornography.

Sex games more often than not focus on “how many girls you can bag” and treat women like objects. Even the taboo “H-game” basically comes down to “experiencing” pornography. It doesn’t help when you have games like Rapelay, a Japanese game that focuses on the main character raping three members of the same family. It has sparked widespread controversy in the United States, even though it’s never been released in the States.

WTF Japan.

Sex can’t be the only part of the game. It has to be one part of the game, just like sex is only one part of the relationship.

3: Sex as a Product Differentiation

Let’s face it, most gamers are straight guys. Designers are constantly looking for ways to differentiate themselves, to draw gamers toward their product. How does Dead or Alive differentiate itself from Soul Caliber? How did Tomb Raider differentiate itself from Soul Reaver? How does Bayonetta distinguish itself from Devil May Cry?

wait, what? Were you blogging?

Boobs. Gorgeous bodies. Women are objects for men to stare at while they play games. Video games are not the first medium to do this. Every entertainment medium has done this. I’m not saying it’s wrong either. I’m just saying video games has the potential to do better.

In the End…

Video games have the potential to tug on the heart-strings and capture the essence of a relationship. Not every game has to center around violence. Conflict can be captured in other ways. There are other ways to design a game. I’m waiting for the game that captures the ups and downs of relationships, of love, of sex!

All you need is love! Love is like Oxygen!

I’m waiting for the “chick flick” game, that dramatic game that leaves you breathless. It’s time video games expanded beyond the role of blockbuster action and sci-fi/fantasy. It’s time that the different genres of romance and drama are done well, and not Barbie Horseback Riding or Leisure Suit Larry

Ew.

Ew is right. Let’s do better game designers!

Every website in existence told me that Mass Effect was essentially the second coming of Christ in video game form. So was it? Well, if Christ is a really annoying, boring asshole who closely follows standard genre tropes, then I guess the reference fits. Somehow, I don’t think that’s what they were going for.

Here’s a list of reasons why Mass Effect sucks:

1.) It’s not an RPG. — This game is billed as an RPG. Even though you have dialogue options throughout, and some of them are hilarious, that doesn’t really make it an RPG. The storyline is still just as linear as Final Fantasy X, which makes it an adventure game. You don’t actually “role play,” you just get to choose good, bad, or neutral dialogue options.

2.) The story is incredibly bland. — What’s that? A rogue alien has hatched a plan that will destroy all life in the universe? Yawn.

3.) The “ZOMG 8 Alternate Endings!” are really just 2 alternate endings. — There is a good ending and a bad ending. That’s it. There are minor variations in each, but those do not constitute “alternate endings.” Chrono Trigger had 12 endings, and that game was on the Super Nintendo. You’d think that the makers of Mass Effect would strive for something more, but they didn’t because they are a bunch of lazy assholes. On the other hand, maybe they figured they couldn’t top Chrono Trigger and gave up.

4.) Slow loading times.

5.) THE FUCKING ELEVATORS ARRRRRGH! — Could these things move any fucking slower? OK, I get it. They are just an opportunity for the game to load the next area and have it appear seamless, but it’s just boring as hell. I’d rather see a loading screen than stare at my three motionless party members and listen to announcements over the PA system.

6.) The side quests are annoying as fuck. — This is unimaginative shit at its worst. “Oh, can you please go collect 3 of these items or 10 of those items?” Is this really necessary? I thought collecting shit was supposed to be something you did on a scavenger hunt, not a fucking video game. All I want to do is kill shit, not waste my time traveling from planet to planet, and digging in the dirt for some random crap that will give me absolutely no advancement in the storyline.

7.) Barren Planets — What exactly is the point of this? I mean, seriously, who thought it would be a good idea to have you drive around on huge piles of dirt looking for the next plot point? Idiots, that’s who. And anyone who thought it was fun to explore and find “extra stuff” in the Mass Effect wasteland of mediocrity is retarded.

8.) The secondary characters are completely unmemorable.

9.) Driving the car — I’d rather lick my own ass than spend another fucking second driving the car around. It’s a rubbery piece of shit that bounces all over the place. The mechanics of maneuvering this thing are horrendous. It only has the one shitty machine gun, and no cannon. And just like your hand held weapons, the gun can overheat, which is annoying as fuck. Oh, and let’s not forget that while you are repairing damage you can’t move. Everything about the car is just another, “What the hell were they thinking?” scenario.

10.) “Before I can give you this item that will save all life in the universe, first you have to do me a favor.” — FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The one positive side of this game, is that you can have sex with one of your crew members. And they have a nice ass, too.

As far as RPGs go, Mass Effect is terrible and a waste of time… but it’s still better than Okami.

Verdict: Bad

Console gamers rejoice! Assassin’s Creed II is available for your sneaky, backstabbing pleasure. I have heard a lot of good things about this game and I’m looking forward to playing it.

When it launches for PC next year of course.

Is it acceptable for game companies to hold off releasing a game for a certain platform? Sometimes development can take longer for it to be optimized for PC. The controls need to be reworked, menus redesigned for mouse and keyboard use, and sometimes if we’re lucky the graphics will get a boost (GTA4 and Mass Effect). The last thing we want is a game on the PC that feels like it was made for consoles. Lost Planet is a hopeless example of this. I own the game and wanted to like it, but every time it asks me to hit the x button my insides cringe. It may take longer to get a version of the game ready, but release should be held back until all versions are ready.

The console version of Assassin’s Creed II was probably launched to get some holiday sales. Ubisoft was having some financial problems last I heard and a boost in sales will help the end of year reports look better.

Wait until next year to game people!

Dragon Age: Origins is a glorious amalgamation of every RPG I’ve ever played. I mean, really — all of them.

Of course it’s taking things right back to Baldur’s Gate with the party control and the pausing, and then putting the Neverwinter Nights direct movement control and pulling the camera around with the mouse, just like Drakensang. Also like Drakensang is the infinite plot-items inventory, that is apart from the main inventory. A part of me really likes this; it means you don’t have to worry about dropping loot for quest items, you don’t have to worry about them being too heavy, you don’t have to worry about them generally cluttering the place up. But another part of me is railing against having an infinite inventory, which goes completely against my realism sense. Yes, yes, it’s not meant to be real, but… It’s a tough one. I think the majority of players will call me nuts for saying that.

The plot is laid out just like Mass Effect. You do a little bit of starting quest (your chosen “origin”, and then some other stuff), then you get given four missions to complete in an order of your choosing. Once those are done, you lock back into one big mission to catch up with and kill Sovereign– Hurrrrrr.

The origin stuff is relatively slick, but by the time I’d chosen “Human” and “Warrior” I only had one option to pick from. Robe Cousland was born — looking absolutely nothing at all like his parents or his sibling(s?), indeed, hardly even dressed for his station. He’s bald and has a small beard (delightfully similar to my real beard, no less), but I’d have thought even worse for a noble,  a huge face-tattoo. To quote Paul Denton of Deus Ex, “I’m pretty certain we don’t have a stitch of DNA in common with either of our supposed parents.” Couldn’t they at least have modified their facial features to match me just a little bit? I’m quite sure such dynamism is possible.

Isn't he sexy?

The conversation system is pretty much Mass Effect too; people pace about occasionally, lips are synched (but nobody has yet solved the shouting issue — there are plenty of shouting moments where the serene face is warped into a grimace but the mouth remains moving calmly), responses can be chosen (though the radial menu is exchanged for a classic list of responses). Very Deus Ex, really. All dialogue is voice-acted except your character’s lines, which I find somewhat annoying — you go through the entire game never once being addressed by name, by anyone. My noble father called me “pup”, Shale from the DLC (we’ll get to that later) called me “it”, but that’s the best you get. Even after sleeping with Leliana (we’ll get to that later), she never called me by name. Yes, yes, voice acting increases immersion and whatever, but they could at least have given me a fixed nickname to go by. Insert rant about the need for quality speech synthesis in games to replace real actors.

The world map reminded me a lot of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, with the little “clay” tiles to represent places. One thing that really got me about the map, though, was the presence of large sub-world-maps; upon entering Denerim, for example, you get another world map with more little tiles floating about on it. Slick.

There are more little things, that have jumped out at me along the way as being from other RPGs, but those are the main ones.

I should remark that it took me a good thirty hours to complete the game. Dragon Age is fucking massive. To compare, a super-completist run of Mass Effect at a reasonable difficulty level takes about 20 hours (including Bring Down the Sky and Pinnacle Station). The game claims that Robe has only experienced under 50% of the game’s content. Since I’m an achievement-whore (and I’ve been told that achievement-points can be turned into DLC-buying points), there will be repeated playthroughs. Value-for-money ho!

Yes, downloadable content. Chicks seem to dig that shit these days; right out of the box (yes, apparently DA was delayed so much that two DLC packs were ready to go at release time rather than afterwards), I got The Stone Prisoner and the Blood Dragon Plate (which will come with me to Mass Effect 2 when that rears its beautiful head). The Stone Prisoner introduces a bonus party member, Shale, who is a golem that is generally quite fun to have around. Complete with weapon and armour crystals that only he can use, plus gifts and banter. The second DLC, Warden’s Keep, is hard-wired into the game but not present — it, and The Stone Prisoner, add achievements. But the worst thing is that after a while a little bastard quest-given for the Warden’s Keep story crops up in your party camp with a glaring exclamation “take my quest” mark over his head, and of course, I can’t take the quest without buying the DLC. As I mentioned earlier, achievement points can apparently be exchanged for DLC, so this mitigates the annoyance somewhat — but it’s still just a little bit underhanded. I wonder if people that didn’t get The Stone Prisoner out of the box have a similarly niggling prop slotted in?

The Blood Dragon plate is pretty useless. I spent the first ten hours frantically trying to get the 38 strength required to equip the breastplate, by which point the rest of the armour (which can be bought from your portable merchant) had been completely superseded. The breastplate was pretty bitchin’, though, and remained better than most stuff until level 17 or 18.

I want to complain about variety. There’s basically only one set of ruins props; green lighting and some tree roots, and you have the elven ruins in the forest. Blue lighting and some snow-drifts, and you have the Andrastean ruins in the mountain. There aren’t particularly many types of enemy either (I remember how Drakensang boasted that it had 70 enemies… I pulled more than that out of my buttocks for This Wreckage; maybe I’m just spoiled by Warcraft III, or is it a symptom of increased detail meaning there just isn’t development time to produce a lot of models?) — you get darkspawn, a few demons and undead, some spiders… Though I did thoroughly enjoy the little velociraptor-like dragon kiddies.

I said “want” to complain because I actually can’t — they’ve followed my value-for-money-squeeze-every-drop-out-of-every-resource philosophy to the letter. The behemoth that they have achieved is truly immense — I haven’t played a game this big since Morrowind. I am extremely satisfied with what I’ve been given for my hard-earned (heu heu) cash. I’ve paid £34.99 for far worse games.

Uni might not be so satisfied, since I basically spent my every waking moment playing Dragon Age since I bought it last thursday. I’m also proud that it’s an 18 and I didn’t get ID’d — remember how I got ID’d when I bought Loki, Tomb Raider: the Angel of Darkness and Sonic Heroes (a 16, a 12 and a 3 respectively)? The shop assistant tried to sell me a strategy guide, which I scoffed at, then a games controller. I told him I was a mouse-and-keyboard man.

Yeah, we need to talk about DA being an 18. The game is covered in blood. I mean, it’s everywhere. It’s on the loading screens, spreading everywhere while you wait. It’s on the map, dribbles of it marking your path as you travel (to be waylaid by quests, Baldur’s Gate II style). And, if you’ve even looked like you might have entered combat, it’s all over your party too. Persistent blood splatters on characters are hilarious, yes, but when it’s a uniform speckle all around (shouldn’t my front be dripping and the rest be relatively clean? Do rats even have that much blood in them? Shouldn’t spider blood green or something?) it’s a little bit silly. Not to mention nobody remarks on it when you walk up to them absolutely sopping wet with the stuff.

So it has bad (but really, what doesn’t?), and it has good. But the good massively out-weighs any niggling little complaints. This is what the PC gaming industry needed so badly — a massive shot in the arm that just couldn’t work on a console (apparently the XBox version is absolutely dreadful. I’ve got a full mouse and keyboard and I don’t know what’s going on half the time, though playing with a rumble-pack would be cool). It’s Baldur’s Gate, it’s Mass Effect, it’s Morrowind and Oblivion. It’s Deus Ex and it’s Drakensang and it’s Neverwinter Nights. It is a masterwork.

I think I’ve said everything I want to say.

The verdict: Dragon Age: Origins is fucking awesome. Buy it now… Unless you’ve got a lot of work to do.

The real test comes next: the editor.

I’m ready, sir.

Yes. Yes, you are.

If you are unaware, The SuicideGirls are a group of like minded ladies who like to show off their tattooed and pierced bodies. Fear not as they don’t kill themselves or anything, Suicide is just a name and nothing more. Divulging ever more into the world of technology, the girls have put together an iPhone App which plays like a virtual dating game. Before you scoff at such a genre, even the mighty Mass Effect had a dating aspect to it, even if it was a bit weak. So it’s only fair that we listen to what the lovely NixiePixel has to say about the App in the video above. Ms Pixel likens Seduce a SuicideGirl to a choose your own adventure book reminding me of Ian Livingstone’s Deathtrap Dungeon – a successful book franchise and dodgy PS1 game. Apart from my digression, Seduce a SuicideGirl sounds like it could be a cheap laugh in the good sense of the term with a price tag of 99¢ or 59p to back up such a claim. Keep an eye out here for NixiePixel’s full review of the game.

Niechce misię.

Witam was słowami, które wypowiadam w ostatnich dniach aż nazbyt często. Niektórzy mówią, że danego dnia ukąsił ich bakcyl lenistwa. Cóż, ja obawiam się że swojego po prostu połknąłem i nie idzie go wywalić ze środka. Poza tym ostatnio troszkę się działo, a ja jakoś nie miałem ochoty na pisanie, ale jestem, macham, żyję. Co takiego się działo? Ehh, to i owo. Więcej w rozwinięciu, śmiało klikać.

First: Uniwersytet.

Siedząc ostatnio na którymś wykładzie, otworzyłem “Monument Of Boredom 2009″ (jak zatytułowałem mój zeszyt) i zacząłem skrobać na tylnych stronach pewien dziwny wykres, mający na celu ukazanie mojej przyszłości. Wizualizacje są modne i efektywnie wyglądają, więc czemu miałbym sobie odmawiać tej jakże wspaniałej formy ukazywania różnych rzeczy. Pojawiły się dwie ścieżki rozwoju (RPG FTW), przy czym jedna zakładała pozostanie na Italianistyce, druga zaś przejście na Anglistykę. Po rozpisaniu 3 stron A4 w kolumny “Advantages” i “Disadvantages” (czasem łatwiej myśli mi się po angielsku) doszedłem do nieuchronnej konkluzji, że jestem jednak człowiekiem do bólu praktycznym, który musi się o czymś przekonać na własnej skórze. W tym wypadku, jedyne 1.5 miesiąca zajęło mi zrozumienie, że Italianistyka jest kierunkiem wybitnie nie dla mnie i trzeba było iść na Anglistykę od day one by mieć już za sobą rok dążenia w kierunku posiadania my very own cottage in the middle of Surrey. Oczywiście to metafora, chociaż prawdą jest, że chciałbym się budzić i wyglądać przez okno pijąc Earl Greya, by popatrzeć nad mgłę, która rozpościera się nad moim kawałkiem terenu, na którym pasą się owce. Następnie mógłbym założyć kalosze i iść z moim Golden Retrieverem i Nowofundlandem na spacer, podczas którego moje psy zamordowałyby stado lisów i bezdomnych kotów. Wracając do “wątku głównego” – jestem już po małym rekonesansie, dowiedziałem się co muszę zrobić by w przyszłym roku (przeniesienie się nie jest możliwe) przystąpić do rekrutacji na anglistykę. Tak więc stay tuned, wszystko jest na dobrej drodze. Dość tkwienia w marazmie i zastanawiania się “co teraz?”. Pozostaje mi tylko przekonanie moich rodzicieli do słuszności mojej decyzji, a nawet jeśli mi się to nie uda to i tak dopnę swojego – za wszelką cenę. Bo to ja mam być do diabła szczęśliwy i zadowolony z tego co robię, a nie oni lub banda nadętych bubków na UW (pozdrawiam panią z sekretariatu Italianistyki).

Second: Video Games Live!

Byłem, widziałem i uważam, że to było największe wydarzenie tego roku. Było to po prostu wspaniałe doświadczenie, show z wielkim wykopem metafizycznym, zgromadzenie ludzi którzy uważają gry wideo za coś niezwykłego, część życia, część siebie. Nie było jeszcze imprezy na której czułbym się tak doskonale, jak ta wczoraj, nie spotkałem się z tłumem który na słowa prowadzącego “The Game is: Final Fantasy VII. The Composer is Nobuo Uematsu. The song is…” odkrzykuje z dziką energią i chorym wręcz entuzjazmem “ONE WINGED ANGEL!” po czym wszyscy dostają zdrowego pierdolca, kiedy na ekranie pojawiają się zdjęcia Clouda i całej ekipy FF VII. Boże, ale miałem ciarki. Moc do potęgi n-tej, czysta radość i zdarte gardło. Kawałki z Metal Gear Solid, God of War, Zeldy, Mario i wszystkich innych gier które przewinęły się przez scenę brzmiały – na oko – jakieś 15 milionów razy lepiej niż na najlepszych słuchawkach. Live Performance to kompletnie inne para kaloszy, a jeśli jest to Live Performance takich utworów, można po prostu pie**olnąć na plecy z zachwytu. Tallarico i spółka przywieźli do Polski jeden z najlepszych eventów na świecie i powiem Wam jedno – za rok też idę. I tym razem wejdę na tą cholerną scenę, chociażby po to by zrobić z siebie błazna. Czemu? Bo jestem graczem, do ciężkiej cholery, a Ci ludzie jak nikt rozumieją random. FUCK YEAH!

Przy okazji – cała ekipa, z Tallarico i Leungiem na czele, to grupa do bólu sympatycznych ludzi, z którymi z resztą dało się normalnie pogadać po występie, bez przepychania się przez ochroniarzy wielkości bloków, bez limitu 5 sekund, bez całej szopki VIP. Tommy okazał się być kolesiem niezwykle równym, który na wspomnienie wywiadu z Marcus Corner zaczął się głośno śmiać (“If I put a dick into your mouth, would it be considered as a blowjob or a handjob?”) i nie szczędził wyjaśnień, że długo się przygotowywał do tego, by objechać Marcusa. Prócz tego widać, że woda sodowa nie uderzyła mu do głowy, bez problemów podał mi swoje PSN ID i dał zrobić ze sobą zdjęcie. Przy okazji – usłyszeć z jego ust pytanie czy jestem polakiem, bo mam świetny akcent – jasna cholera, ale mnie duma rozpierała! : D

Third: MS Mass Effect Box

Nie oszukujmy się – moją “platformą domową” jest PS3. Co jakiś czas jednak zdarza się, że sięgam na półkę po pada od Xboxa360, pakuję do środka któregoś z exclusivów, zatapiam się w fotelu/kanapie i znikam ze świata PlayStation. W takich chwilach, kiedy napierdzielam w Mass Effect, po raz kolejny ładując Emanuelowi na Eden Prime ślicznego FALCON PUNCH!, dochodzi do mnie, że bez konsoli MS byłbym, do pewnego stopnia, w ciemnej dupie. PS3 jako Home Platform spełnia swoją rolę doskonale, ale komfort posiadania 360 i grania w exclusivy jest jednak czymś fantastycznym. Mogę mieć w domu wszystkie generacje PlayStation (poza białym krukiem PSXem) i mieć poniekąd image fana Sony, ale xboxa bym teraz nie sprzedał. Za bardzo go lubię, pomimo tony wad stricte hardware’owych, za bardzo lubię sobie klapnąć z padem w łapie i pobiegać w Mass Effect czy też przerżnąć piłą Locusta w Gears of War. Teraz na tapecie (po raz n-ty) znalazł się Mass Effect, jak zawsze na Insanity, jak zawsze świetny. W takich chwilach, kiedy mam jazdę na Xboxa (A SCEP wypuszcza mega-giga-peta-ultra-gówniane polskie XMB, które ssie bardziej niż koło z włoskiego), nie pytajcie mnie czy lepiej kupić PS3 czy 360, bo najzwyczajniej w świecie zgłupieję i nie będę wiedział, co Wam odpowiedzieć. Na chwilę obecną nie szukajcie mnie za często na PSN, bo siedzę w świecie Johna Sheparda, rozwalając łby Gethom przy akompaniamencie muzyki z Battlestar Galactica. No, a skoro już przy tym jesteśmy…

Fourth: Battlestar Galactica Season 4 Soundtrack – Bear McCreary

Pisałem już o BSG, prawdopodobnie najlepszym serialu w dziejach ludzkości. Prócz świetnego scenariusza, doskonałych efektów (przynajmniej do póki zajmował się nimi ZOIC i Cyloni nie byli pokryci chromem…), conajmniej bardzo dobrej gry aktorskiej i masy innych rzeczy, jednym z aspektów BSG jest muzyka (dla tych co wiedzą: “The Drums”), którą pisał Richard Gibbs (Miniseries), a później (Season 1 – 4) Bear McCreary. Soundtrack z 4 serii jest równie epicki co sam serial i jeśli ktoś z Was uważa się za fana Battlestara, MUSI, ale absolutnie MUSI mieć tą płytę na półce. Ostatnio pozbyłem się na jakiś czas obsesji zwanej “Reanimation” (Linkin Park) oraz “Runnin’ Wild” (Airbourne) na rzecz BSG S4 OST, które jest najczęściej odtwarzanym albumem na moim 5800. Od “Ressurection Hub”, przez “The Signal” i “Roslyn Escapes”, aż po “Assault on the Colony” i “The Heart of the Sun” – one hundred percent epic. W każdym calu, w każdym dźwięku. McCreary popisuje się nieludzkim wręcz wyczuciem w kwestii dopasowania kawałka do fabuły serialu i tak na dobrą sprawę, muzyka sama może opowiadać historię BSG. Naturalnie, jak w przypadku poprzednich części soundtracku, mamy absolutnie fe-no-me-nal-ne bębny, które swoją soczystością przyprawiają o zawrót głowy, a także przegenialne wykorzystanie znanych fanom nut “All Along The Watchtower” (Season 3, “Crossroads Part II”), które są wplatane w nowe kawałki (“Kara Remembers” i “Kara’s Coordinates” to absolutne arcydzieła) w taki sposób, że można dostać ciarek. Nie ma tu utworów słabych, są po prostu bardzo dobre i wybitne. Przy okazji – na święta planuje sobie kupić kompletną sagę BSG na Blu-Rayu. Nie oczekujcie wpisów w styczniu, bo poprostu mnie nie będzie. Wepchnę swoją dupę w fotel, zabunkruje się z pilotem od PS3 w pokoju i nie wyjdę, do póki nie obejrzę wszystkiego, co znajdę na tych płytach.

Fifth: Gry.

Jestem złym człowiekiem, bowiem wepchnąłem “Borsukowi ze świecącymi na czerwono oczami” (Pozdro WW3) pieniądze do kieszeni. Kupiłem Modern Warfare 2, grę która sprawiła że w tym roku nie będzie BioShocka 2, Final Fantasy XIII, a święta zostały przesunięte na później. Co o niej sądzę? Świetna, po prostu. Nie będę się tu rozwodził zbytnio nad grafiką, fabułą czy kontrowersjami (rosyjskie lotnisko i rozstrzeliwywanie cywili). Powiedzmy sobie szczerze – MW2 nie jest grą dla dzieci i jak komuś nie pasuje tak realistyczna wizualizacja przemocy, nie spierdziela na szczaw i nie kupuje tej gry. Napomknę jeszcze tylko że jakieś 99% populacji najchętniej by mnie zasztyletowało, bo MS2 kupiłem dla Single Player, bowiem nie lubię multi, ale jako gra na SP, pełna akcji i rozpierdzielu, zdaje egzamin doskonale. Więcej o MW2 będziecie mogli usłyszeć w kolejnym podcaście LittleBigBlog, który będziemy nagrywali w ten weekend, więc na stronie powinien się znaleźć najpóźniej w okolicach środka przyszłego tygodnia. Prócz tego, mój headset no-name na BT 1.3 się rozsypał, więc kupiłem nowy, sygnowany przez Sony, z logiem PlayStation. Działa wyśmienicie, długo trzyma na jednym ładowaniu, prócz tego świetnie pasuje do ucha, ma bardzo dobrą czułość i ogólnie działa tak jak powinien. W międzyczasie na blogu my-ps3.pl pojawiła się także moja recenzja Brutal Legend, a ja doczłapałem się do 10 levelu na PlayStation Network.

No, to by było na tyle. Możecie się spodziewać nowego wpisu jakoś po weekendzie, coś czuję że będę miał ochotę coś poskrobać.

Tymczasem dzięki za uwagę, wszelkie opinie jak zawsze mile widziane,

Take Care!

Dragon Age: Origins is a recently released game that is one of the precious few to address the effects of organized religion on its world in a non-cynical manner. Instead of being set in a world steeped in nothing but ancient traditions and esoteric ritual, developer Bioware has merged such religious conceits into the “current” storyline of its game in a way that much more reflects reality.

The subtle but brilliant difference here is that every competing faction, every sect that follows the game’s equivalent of Jesus, has a very, very good reason for doing so, for their traditions evolving the way they have, even though most all of them claim a common source.

Most video game RPGs treat organized religion as either a superfluous element of a game’s backstory, or as a huge evil organization that must be destroyed. Here faith systems become the driving force behind the entire plot, finally.

I always knew there was a reason I liked video games. The people at Bioware kicked up wingnuttery for their interspecies lesbianic action on their last game, Mass Effect. With their newest relase, Dragon Age: Origins, it seems they’re keeping the whole ‘interspecies’ part but this time it’s hot man-on-man action. Er, well man-on-elf but still!

While this fireside romp is rather tastefully done it’s still probably not safe for work, so make sure the coast is clear before you check it out after the jump.

Hat Tip to Queerty.

Two highly anticipated sequels, two unoriginal box art covers.

See?

It’s not terrible art, but it lacks a certain punch. The hero, the lady with poised gun, the multicolored alien, the lens flare…it’s all just a bit generic, which is a shame as previews would have you believe that Mass Effect 2 is bigger and better than its predecessor. The first game’s cover definitely gave off a “explore the galaxy!” vibe while this one merely says “shoot things!” and “be disgruntled!”

Oh well. Can’t win ‘em all, Bioware.

Bioware has unveiled the final box art for their forthcoming role playing science fiction sequel Mass Effect 2.

The game is the sequel to the best-selling Mass Effect, and focuses on the continuing adventures of Commander Shepard, learns that entire human colonies are mysteriously vanishing. Shepard must team up with the human supremacist organization Cerberus in the investigation, and journey across the galaxy.

The game itself has a unique selling point in that saved games from the original can be transferred into the new game, allowing gamers to continue the arch from that game. Decisions in the first game impact how events unfold in the sequel. That is not to say that new gamers can’t just start with this one, as the game is complete in and of itself.

Personally I loved the original, and I’m currently deeply involved in Bioware’s latest Dragon Age: Origins. The company have a long lineage in RPGs, having created Baldur’s Gate, Neverwinter Nights and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, and this game is shaping up to be one of the highlights of the new year.

With the original now selling for between €15-20 it’s a good time to pick it up and see. The new game will be released  on PC and Xbox 360 on January 29th, 2010

I still prefer the first box art though.

Another pair of fortnights, another new column!  Futurismic have my 21st Blasphemous Geometries column entitled “The Mechanics of Morality : Why Moral Choices In Video Games Are No Longer Fun”.

It is a little bit longer than my usual BG columns but I felt that I had quite a bit to say about this issue.  I am particularly proud of what I am calling The Clarkson Effect :

In order to be fun, transgressive behaviour requires the existence of a strong moral code to transgress against. However, when the transgressive opinions and behaviour become an accepted and recognised way of being, the behaviour ceases to be transgressive and thereby ceases to be fun.

Não é nenhuma novidade que o sexo se torne assunto pra mesa de bar e roda de amigos. Não importa de que forma ele seja abordado ou em que contexto, falar de sexo sempre faz a audiência subir, as revistas venderem ou pessoas pararem para assistir.

E atualmente os jogos de vídeo-game não ficam longe disso. Muitos títulos famosos entre os malucos por jogos de plantão trazem cenas explícitas ou insinuam sexo entre seus personagens. Seja como for, a própria produtora Ubisoft afirmou que o novo “Assassin’s Creed 2”, que chega às lojas no dia 17 de novembro, conterá cenas de sexo. ]

Por conta disso vamos listar em alguns post os jogos que utilizam a “forma de procriação” como um chamariz. Vale lembrar que todos esses jogos têm faixa etária para maiores de 18 anos:

Mass Effect (PC, Xbox 360)

O jogo de RPG da produtora BioWare oferece a possibilidade dos jogadores controlarem as ações do seu personagem. Desta forma, o game permite que seja iniciado um relacionamento amoroso com outros personagens na história. Isso quer dizer que você pode tanto escolher uma menina, quanto um menino para namorar. Por conta disso, o título foi banido em diversos países por oferecer atos de homossexualismo no enredo. Claro que não é algo que faz parte do jogo, mas qualquer criança ou adolescente pode induzir seu personagem a fazer o que quer.

Contudo, a produtora, na voz de Grag Zeschuck, respondeu às críticas durante entrevista no último evento grande sobre games o E4 em Los Angeles dizendo que as cenas não estão presentes à toa, existe um sentido para elas. “Não Acredito que todos os jogos devam ter cenas de sexo, penso isso, sim, que em alguns tipo de jogos faz sentido elas existirem. As críticas relacionadas ao ‘Mass Effect’ foram extremamente exageradas, já que não houve nudez explicita; mostramos apenas uma parte de uma perna. Esse tipo de alardeamento é típica atitude de pessoas que gostam de se aproveitar da situação. A verdade é que esse tipo de cena a gente vê normalmente enquanto jantamos em frente à televisão”. Exagero de um dos responsáveis pela produtora do game? Certamente ele estava só defendendo seu peixe, mas continua evidente que as imagens existem.

http://www.platformnation.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/mass-effect.jpg

I like video games a whole bunch. I don’t discuss them too much here. I like to think I’m a sort of casual/hardcore gamer. Okay that doesn’t make sense. Basically, I don’t play night and day, but when I get a few hours of down time I like to sit back and play the one game I’ve been playing for the last few weeks or so.

I have a general like of shooters. Mostly because some of the best games that have been made in recent years have indeed been shooters (Halo, Call or Duty 4, Bioshock). Halo, while being a muck of an overall story, does indeed have the best shooter engine and physics ever. That’s the reason the multiplayer is so beloved, it’s just so fluid and telling. COD 4 meanwhile is such a wonderfully immersive game, with great goosebumpy moments. And Bioshock is my favorite, not much replayability, but such great art design and some really story/thematic points to boot (it’s a criticism of Randian Objectivism, perhaps it was made just for me).

But most of all I love RPGs. I’m a sucker for story and immersion. I just am.

I particularly love the final fantasy series. Yeah, I completely understand that the series has a real particular set of flaws, most stemming from the fact it is uber-japanese themes and eastern storytelling, but they’re awfully unique even in their samey qualities. And they have the scope not just of a novel, but an entire series of novels. Outside of the FF series, I also have particular love of the elder scrolls series (Oblivion!) and their other revamp of Fallout 3, which took the same exact engine as Oblivion and managed to make a completely different feeling experience. Fallout 3 is just fantastic.

Which brings us to Mass Effect and it’s RPG/shooter hybrid shittyness.

First note, I’ve played Bioware games before. I’ve played the KOTOR series and thought they were pretty good-ish. It definitely lacking some of the organic qualities i loved in the eldar scroll and ff series, but it was essentially interesting storytelling. Then again I tend overvalue any star wars property and grade it a full letter grades above where it should be. When you like everything about a particular universe it’s just more fun. What can I say?

So I was very excited for Mass Effect, I’ve gone a long time without getting and heard some very good things … and now, having beat it… I am very, very, very disappointed. I seriously have no understanding of how it got that kind of love. It’s exceedingly repetitive. Go here. Find this base. Kill this thing. Seriously, the side missions are especially meaningles. People complained about Oblivion and those missions were terribly unique compared to this stuff.

And don’t even get me started on the sameness of the design. Lazy. Lazy. Lazy. Every cave, every planet, every mine, they’re all the exact same. Seriously, THE EXACT SAME MAP. Sometimes the same exact box layout. It makes every mission a paint by numbers exercize. And believe me, I’m a completionist when it comes to my gaming so it’s very, very boring.

In terms of story I didn’t give a shit about anyone, usually Bioware is a tad better than that even with it’s generic clunkiness. I could tell you every story beat right before it happened.

This hilarious chart is completely accurate.

I’m sorry, but it’s true. And Bioware doesn’t seem to get it either.

Look, I know and understand Cambellian Hero Story analysis just like everyone else whose been in high school. It’s great and is responsible for so many great stories. But it’s not a lame excuse for paint by numbers storytelling. With this generation it’s become the most lazy storytelling exercise in the world, because they just make a beat for beat version of Star Wars and claim it’s the Cambellian Hero Story! No it’s not, what makes those stories unique is originality of detail and way you make the story seem as if it’s different, not how strictly you adhere to it.  There’s virtually no distinction in HOW you emphasize those story telling points anymore and it Mass Effect was the best example.

What stinks about that is that the scope of Mass Effect is great, the sheer idea for building a fully explorable universe has just fantastic possibilities and the shooter aspect was actually pretty well executed, which makes the fact that it’s eventually a boring, pointless game all the more annoying. Look, I understandd how much it took to build something so big in scope, but when it came to subtle execution in giving each little corner it’s own distinction (and HELL a reason to even go there!) all we get is long semi-amusing paragraphs written about the planet. And for character? You ever hear of show don’t tell? Well instead of getting to see that character’s story in some fashion (you get in FF) or have it play into the story in some fashions (KOTOR, Elder Scrolls), the character’s background is just explained to you in the most boring dialogue options. Tali’s plight made me want to shoot myself in the face.

I’m sorry but it’s a lazy, lazy game in the end.

Compare it to the Final Fantasy series where the whole thing strings along in a fluid series of vignettes and starkly different looking environments and goals, and employs weird reality-dream-bending methods of storytelling… Some people don’t dig it and think it’s weird and I totally understandthat , but the last thing you can accuse the story telling of being is lazy.

I get it’s a matter of taste and what not, but COME ON. Bioware just keeps making the same-ish sort of game. I don’t get the universal adoration. Hell, Fallout 3 used the same exact engine as Oblivion and it managed to feel exceedingly different, all because of the nuance of detail. Even recent shooters like COD4 and Bioshock felt more like interesting stories, because they were organic, fluid, and detailed. The details are everything in video games and Mass Effect opted for the sparse boring map. Anytime a RPG gets shown up by a shooter is a big warning flag to me.

And look I’ll eat my hat if ME 2 improves on any of the repetitive qualities and the entire game was excuse to build an engine, but seriously. I don’t get it.

The ability to say something sarcastic in every dialogue option, does not a great game make.