this whole post is dedicated to Samuel Medeah.

sam, i have so much to say to you, but i don’t have any way of contacting you except through AIM.
i don’t want to tell you what i need to tell you on AIM, but you don’t want to talk to me, so i’ll just say what i need to say here & i will just have to hope that you’ll somehow read this – through you, i’ve experienced many things & through you, i’ve changed.

i thank you for letting me realize that my friends were right – i was too good for you.
i thank you for proving me wrong.
i thank you for proving me right.
i thank you for not pressuring me to meet your parents.
i thank you for ignoring me.
i thank you for changing me for the worse.
i thank you for changing me for the better.
i thank you for showing me that i’m able to forgive.
i thank you for being too busy with work.
i thank you for being too busy with school.
i thank you for not seeing me for a whole month before you finally ended things.
i thank you for the months that we’ve been together.
i thank you for the way you broke up with me – it made me see the real you.
i thank you for being so scared.
i thank you for being such a coward.
i thank you for letting me “pick up the pieces” of what was left of our relationship.
i thank you for being so selfish.
i thank you for putting up a front like every other guy i’ve met.
i thank you for getting mad.
i thank you for making me look like the bad person.
i thank you for giving me false hope.
i thank you for your fickleness & your confusion.
i thank you for letting me experience a guy like you.
i thank you for not knowing the real me.
i thank you for being the same trash that’s already out there.
i thank you for enabling me to understand the difference between a “boy” & a “man”.
i thank you for making me another “number”.
i thank you for leaving our relationship with a bittersweet ending.
i thank you for giving up.
i thank you for all of the dumb, little things you had to lie to me about.
i thank you for our time together; it’s only a distant memory now.
i thank you for walking out.
i thank you for ending our relationship instead of dragging it on.
i thank you for avoiding me.
i thank you for doing what you did – i will remember.
i thank you for making me into a stronger person.
i thank you for making me become smarter.
i thank you for making me become more stupid.
i thank you for making me different than the rest.
i thank you for giving me the strength to go out & try new things.
i thank you for saying that you loved me.
i thought i was in love with you, but i thank you for giving me the eyes to see that i really wasn’t.

because of you, i have experienced so much.
& through you, i have forgiven so many people who used to be in my life<3
i can now accept you as a friend.
you are a special person to me – you have opened my eyes to so much & you are the reason why i have become stronger.

i have become a better person/friend/woman/lover through you.
THANK YOU.

Sesja w opuszczonej fabryce w Krakowie 08.05.2008 r.