Por Girls of War

Desde o início da produção de jogos, os games sempre estiveram em um universo masculinizado, totalmente cinza-Metal Gear, às vezes com um toque de alguma mulher, mas que infelizmente não tinham tanto reconhecimento. Com o passar dos anos, e principalmente nos dias atuais, as mulheres dominam mais a produção de games e se destacam cada vez mais com trabalhos notáveis.

Mulheres, sejam ocidentais ou orientais, estão por trás de grandes produções de games. E não são joguinhos fofinhos e meigos, como muitos preconceituosos pensam, e sim, jogos como Assassin’s Creed, Phoenix Wright, Altered Beast, Mirror’s Edge e muitos outros.

Para provar a força da feminilidade nos games, a revista inglesa Edge publicou, no ano de 2006, uma lista com as 100 mulheres mais influentes na indústria dos games. São figuras que vão desde escritoras de histórias e designers até produtoras. Separamos algumas que estão presentes na listagem, e outras que ficaram conhecidas nos anos seguintes.

Conheça um pouco das mulheres que trabalham nos bastidores das empresas de games:

Rieko Kodama – Saúdem a Primeira Dama do RPG!

Esta grande designer é conhecida no mundo gamer como a “Primeira dama do RPG”. A japonesa, nascida no dia 23 de maio de 1963 e natural da cidade de Kanagawa, já atuou na produção de games do “alto escalão” da Sega, como: Phantasy Star, Sonic e Alex Kidd. Mas é claro que ela não parou por aí! Rieko também é famosa por muitos outros jogos como Shinobi, Altered Beast, SpellCaster, Ninja Pincess, Deep Fear e muitos outros. A designer já atuou como diretora no game Magic Knight Rayearth, para o falecido Sega Saturn. Um fato interessante na vida dessa designer de games foi ela ter começado a carreira com a arte e a arqueologia.

E, para provar que todo conhecimento adquirido é válido, muito sabiamente a japinha poderosa tratou de adaptar seus estudos – bem ao estilo Tomb Raider de ser – ao seu trabalho com games, quando, em 1984, um amigo a convidou para trabalhar na Sega (amigo bom!!!). As influências arqueológicas de Reiko podem ser percebidas em games como Phantasy Star e Skies Of Arcadia, por exemplo. Neles, os jogadores quase sempre têm que viajar e descobrir civilizações antigas.

Já trabalhando diretamente com games, Kodama começou como designer de personagens em títulos como Champion Boxing (1984) e Ninja Princess (1984). Ela também arrasou no saudoso Master System com jogos como: Alex Kidd in Miracle World (1986) e Quartet (1987). Como ela teve a sorte de ser uma das poucas designers da companhia, naquela época, ela passou a trabalhar em vários títulos ao mesmo tempo, o que a fez ficar conhecida e ter seu trabalho respeitado muito rápido. No entanto, o grande “boom” na carreira de Reiko aconteceu quando a artista teve a oportunidade de trabalhar em grandes projetos, como Phantasy Star, que foi lançado para concorrer com o também famoso Dragon Quest. Como a designer principal do games, Kodama foi a responsável pela criação do desenho de todos os personagens, dos mapas em 2D, das cenas de guerra em background, das pessoas da cidade, dentre outras coisas.

Agora vocês devem estar se perguntando. O que essa japinha genial está fazendo agora? Bom, rumores dizem que Reiko Overpower Kodama estaria desenvolvendo um RPG, 7th Dragon – para Nintendo DS, em parceria com Kazuya Niinou (Trauma Center, Etrian Odyssey) e o lendário compositor Yuzo Koshiro. 7th Dragon tem previsão de ser lançado em março de 2009. Tomara que esse boato se confirme!

Jade Raymond – A caloura mais bonita dos games

No meio de um grande império de produtores orientais e ocidentais e suas obras-primas nos games, eis que começam a surgir os primeiros vestígios femininos, mesmo que eles não sejam notados em suas obras em si.

Assassin’s Creed não deixa nem um pouco à mostra que a novata – mesmo com 10 anos de carreira e um curto currículo, mas já invejável – Jade Raymond, uma mulher determinada e com uma personalidade cativante, está por trás desse novo game que foi lançado para PS3 e X360.

Jade Raymond, nascida em 28/08/1975 no Canadá, começou no mundo dos games aos seis anos de idade quando jogou Pong pela primeira vez no computador de seu primo. A partir daí seu gosto por games só foi crescendo, especialmente com a ajuda de tio que comprava games para a pequena Jade e a enfrentava, tentando fazer com que ela o derrotasse nos jogos.

Após longos anos, uma das novas “musas gamers” tornou-se bacharel em Ciência da Computação e seu primeiro emprego na área foi na IBM como programadora de jogos educacionais, e logo depois foi consultora no Grupo de Pesquisas Avançadas da Microsoft.

Seu primeiro trabalho na indústria dos games foi na Sony, cujos jogos Jeopardy! e Trivial Pursuit tiveram Jade na equipe de programação. Nesse período, ela começou a produzir um game do filme As Panteras (Charlie’s Angels), mas não deslanchou. Após esse período na Sony, Jade foi para a EA Games e tornou-se produtora, desenvolvendo aplicativos de recursos online e acabou produzindo The Sims Online. Um ano depois foi para There Inc e foi Produtora/Arte do game “There”, um mundo virtual em 3D, concorrente do famoso Simple Life.

Quatro anos depois de trabalhar na There Inc, Jade Raymond aparece nos créditos de Assassin’s Creed – um de seus trabalhos mais reconhecidos pelo enredo, gráficos e jogabilidade, e lançado para dois consoles de última geração – ganhando um reconhecimento merecido e a surpresa dos gamers por se tratar de uma mulher produzindo um game de tamanha grandiosidade. Dizem que Jade é responsável pela roupa de Altair presente em Metal Gear Solid 4.

Claro que, mesmo com a falta de tempo, ela não deixou de ser gamer. Resident Evil 4 é o seu game preferido e no lançamento de Everquest ela passou 10 horas por dia durante 3 meses só jogando esse game. Ela também adora games que têm macacos, tanto que seu personagem favorito é o Donkey Kong. Além de produtora de games, Jade também é co-apresentadora do programa The Eletric Playground, do canal G4.

Minae Matsukawa – A feminilidade da Capcom

No Japão é raro ver uma mulher trabalhando em desenvolvedoras de games, especialmente na produção de um game, e pode-se dizer que Matsukawa é uma das japonesas mais bem sucedidas na área. Ela é responsável pela série Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney para Nintendo DS.

Essa japonesinha tímida é a única mulher desenvolvedora presente na Capcom. As outras são artistas e designers. Antes de entrar para o time da Capcom, Minae Matsukawa trabalhou em uma empresa de segurança. Logo depois esteve nos escritórios da Nintendo, onde conheceu Shigeru Miyamoto, e tempos depois trabalhou na IT, em departamentos de distribuição de jogos online até que em 2001, foi para a Capcom.

Miane está presente na Capcom há seis anos, onde começou com Breath of Fire V. Logo em seguida ela produziu a série Magical Quest da Disney, Disney Aladdin, Capcom Classics Collection, Mega Man X, participou nos Street Fighter, e por fim, em The Darkstalkers para PSP e a série Phoenix Wright, onde ficou conhecida.  Na verdade, Minae sempre foi uma assistente de produção. Ela só se realizou como produtora com esses dois últimos jogos citados.

Rhianna Pratchett – A autora de Mirror’s Edge

Nascida em 1976, na Inglaterra, Rhianna Pratchett é uma escritora de roteiros de jogos, designer e jornalista. O pai dela, Terry Prachett é um dos maiores autores de histórias de fantasia e ficção infantil. Rhianna se especializou em desenvolver histórias, humor e caracterização dos games.

Pratchett é bastante conhecida por ser escritora da história de Heavenly Sword, Overlord e Dungeon Hero. Mas agora ela é responsável pelo enredo do jogo Mirror’s Edge. Rhianna buscou semelhanças em um seriado da TV, o Prison Break. Em ambos os casos, tanto o jogo quanto o seriado, o objetivo principal é resgatar o irmão/irmã, através de qualquer meio necessário. A história que gira em torno da cidade também tem bastantes similaridades, onde os governantes querem o melhor para a população, conquistando-a, também, custe o que custar.

E o que a inglesa está fazendo atualmente? A Electronic Arts fechou parceria com a DC Comics, responsável pelas histórias do Batman e Super Homem. Por esta razão, Rhianna Pratchett está ultimamente se dedicando aos quadrinhos sobre Mirror’s Edge. A coleção de HQ será composta por seis edições que prometem contar detalhes da história da protagonista Faith.

É o que sempre falamos: Por trás de um grande game, sempre existe uma grande mulher!

I had a long car ride last night (had to go up to Fort Collins to get a quail) and didn’t feel like playing a slow RPG. I was in the mood for something more jumpy-shooty so I grabbed Metroid Zero on a whim. People like to gripe that the Metroid series has lost the natural in-game storytelling that was present in Super Metroid. They complain that the games have gotten too wordy, citing Adam’s chatter in Metroid Fusion and the constant database scanning in the Prime games as examples.

Coming back to Zero Mission I was surprised how much of the game is a reaction to the complaints made about Fusion. Fusion is notorious for its linearity (though it does open up in the second half). Zero Mission, conversely, is open to sequence breaking from the get-go. Not only are there cleverly hidden roundabouts for obvious road blocks but skillful bomb jumping and spark-shining can get you to impossible places. Just like Super Metroid! The other main reaction to Fusion is that Zero Mission is almost completely silent. Except for a couple of sentences at the beginning the game keeps its mouth shut.

And while the plot is simple–Samus goes to Zebes to kill Mother Brain–the game uses pantomime to tell it with sophistication. Just like the way everyone bemoans the loss of! I was particularly struck by this during a neat little sequence in the middle of the game. Spoilers of a five year old game to follow!

While exploring the fiery caverns of Norfair the player comes across this little tunnel.

The path forward is blocked by a giant alien larva. It doesn’t move or attack and beams and missiles have no effect. The player has no choice to go back. He or she moves on to explore other caverns and soon the larva is forgotten.

Eventually, while exploring the western side of Norfair the player acquires the wave beam upgrade. This item allows the player’s shots to pass through walls. The path from the wave beam leads eastern and soon the player is on the other side of the tunnel containing the larva.

Here the path is blocked by another larva. But with the wave beam the player can shoot upwards through the floor and damage the larva’s vulnerable underside. Killing this larva reveals that it was in the process of shedding its skin. When it is dead it leaves a thin membrane behind.

Just to the east of this room the player encounters the original larva again but now the player is approaching from the other direction. By now this larva has finished molting and will charge at the player. The player must use weapons to push the larva back (they still don’t do any damage) and then lay bombs that, when the larva charges forwards over them, explode and hurt the larva’s soft belly. Like the previous one this larva has also left behind some shedded skin. The problem with the larvae is now solved and the path is open. It’s important to note that here the game has revealed that the larva are transforming. By showing the larva’s sheddings the game has added some depth to what would otherwise be just another obstacle in the player’s progress. A lock to the wave beam key, as it were.

During his or her explorations the player has also come across vine-like plants that sometimes have weak enemies trapped in their tangles.

These plants aren’t much of a danger. They can easily be blasted through. It’s neat to see that they feast on the native creatures though. Shortly after getting through the larva’s tunnel the player comes across more of these vines. In addition to the smaller enemies caught in them there is also the corpse of a larva tangled as well. With this simple background element the nature of both the vines and the larva have become more complex. This set up pays off a screen or two later when the player comes to the game’s next mini-boss:

A larva corpse suspended by a knot of vines. In a battle reminiscent of the Spore Spawn from Super Metroid the corpse/vines will release small plant spores that can hurt the player. Shooting the corpse accomplishes nothing and so the player must focus his or her attacks on the vines. Destroying them all lets the corpse fall into the ground and reveals a new path forward. If the player looks carefully they’ll notice that larva isn’t dead. It’s slowly pulsating. By destroying the vines the player has revived the larva.

The player moves forward and comes to an elevator downwards into the deepest depths of Norfair. They can only proceed a short distance before they come to a dead-end. Here, though, is an interesting sight.

A larva has started building a cocoon. There’s no way to get to it though and so the player has no choice but to return to the elevator and head back to upper Norfair. Returning to the room where they fought the mini-boss they find that the larva is gone and a new path leads downwards. Following it will take them to the cocoon, which is now empty. The larva has metamorphosed.

Moving forward, the player starts to come across eggs. Whatever hatched is now creating more larva. The player reaches a huge mass of eggs and behind it is the newest power-up: the super missile. But there’s no way to get to it. Not that the player will have much time to experiment because the monster from the cocoon comes sweeping down.

The larva has grown into a giant wasp. It moves quickly and hits hard but it’s not too tough to beat. And when the player does it crashes into the nest of eggs and opens the way to the super missile and the rest of the game.

This whole sequence is done in-game without cut scenes or dialogue. It uses backgrounds, enemy sprites, and the player’s exploration to tell a story. Sure, it’s a short, simple story about giant alien bugs but it is a story nether the less. It has a beginning (the discovery of the larva getting past them), middle (the larva and the vines), and end (the transformation and fight with the wasp). It creates a fun and memorable set piece. Perhaps the best in the game? Certainly it rivals the extended ending sequence, which I remember as very cool. We’ll see how it compares now in Obama’s America. Maybe the ending will still stand out. Maybe not. Until then, I declare the larva sequence in Zero Mission as the best Metroid moment of the aughts.

A big thanks to Metroid Recon for actually having screenshots of all of this.

Also, in case you didn’t see it, my Mega Man 2 comic/review/thing went up at Gamespite last week. In it Mega Man admits to having sex with metal blades. That is to say, it’s worth your time.

In a world of flying cars, digital dogs, and cyber security guards, there’s bound to be a few rogue robots.  Dr. Light, that heart of gold scientist who paved the road to hell with good intentions, is in a bit of a bind.  His old high school lab partner, Dr. Wily, has stolen a few of Light’s non-union droids and reprogrammed them for destruction.  Who can protect us from a robot with scissors on his head, another that hurls Mario bombs at us, one that creates electricity balls of death, and an android version of The Hulk?  Well have no worries folks, Dr. Light has crafted us a hero.  He’s the ultimate boy in blue, with an arm cannon that can “borrow” other robot’s weapons.  They call him Mega Man.  Let’s watch some of his adventures.

The Beginning

Electric Nightmare

The Big Shake

Mega-Pinocchio

Once again, Youtube has proven to be super lame when trying to find a rad cartoon to show you guys.  But it’s all good.  The Mega Man show only lasted 2 seasons, not bad considering it was based off of a Nintendo game.  If you feel the need to dive balls deep into Mega Man, just break out yer old NES, grab a few 12 pacs of your favorite malt liquor, then waste the day/your brain away killing robot things.

After the Mega Man knucks, I wanted to make a scarf to go with them.  The project was started and so gorgeous. After getting past the first energy pellets, my husband commented that they were amazing gloves I was making. I thought about what he said for a minute and agreed with him. What was going to make an okay scarf turned into one of my favorite pairs of fingerless gloves.

Mega Man Fingerless Gloves

Mega Man Fingerless Gloves Front

Mega Man Fingerless Gloves Back

To see a list of all my fingerless glove posts, click here.

If you would like to find fingerless glove patterns, try one of these: knucks (men and women), bella fingerless gloves (women), or even here (men and women) for a list of a bunch of patterns.

Having a few gloves under my belt, I wanted to try to give knucks a try again, but this time, I wanted to add a little something that was me. I decided that I wanted a pair of Mega Man knucks. With the size double pointed needles I was using (5) I could not fit much on them, but what I wanted is something that didn’t scream nerdy, but was something that everyone could enjoy, but some would recognize. My final decision was Mega Man energy pellets in Microspun yarn. The result is gorgeous and soft.

Mega Man Knucks Front

Mega Man Knucks Back

They are tight around the middle, but because the top is looser, they fit me like…well… a glove.

For Megaman-themed fingerless gloves click here.

To see a list of all my fingerless glove posts, click here.

If you would like to find more fingerless glove patterns, try one of these: knucks (men and women), bella fingerless gloves (women), or even here (men and women) for a list of a bunch of patterns.

When we got the tip off for a So Solid re-birth there were visions of Asher D lacing up his Air Max, Ms Dynamite flexing her gunfire vocals and Neutrino bleaching his roots for a strong team reunion. Then we got the video and the hype balloon popped. This is unfortunately, the kind of come-back that stinks of overdrafts and overdue mortgage payments – a need for cash flow and credit.

‘Since you Went Away’ has some high points: Lisa Maffia’s vocals are as sharp and decent as they ever were, Romeo still growls along like a new engine, but the court-side seats and suit\shades combination don’t make us wag our tails the way we hoped – this guy was a uk garage heartTHROB – now he looks like the guy from HSBC that still wears CKOne. Mega puts on a reliable show, some neat rhymes and traditional style, but the groupies and 90’s chorus melody just doesn’t offer enough.

The kind of UKG comebacks we’ve seen recently have been explosive. Ms Dynamite’s ‘Bad Gyal’ is a contender for track of 2009, Maxwell D and his ‘Blackberry Hype’ led rise is a transformation into quality UK Funky and inimitable MC style, We’ve seen Zed Bias sticking a bass heavy luxury seasoning over ‘Neighbourhood’ making something so era-definitive into a contemporary 2009 highlight. MJ Cole has teamed up with some of the UK’s most important DJ’s (L-Vis 1990, Toddla T) and rattled out quality work that pushes his talents in front of a whole new audience. Even Heartless Crew have made a valiant and respectable effort with  ’The Greatest 09′, with nods to bashment popularity.

So Solid – you’ll always have a warm spot in our heart – but like my year 8 history teacher always said :

MUST TRY HARDER.

From/De: Capcom

Today, Capcom is releasing two fan favorites on the PlayStation® Network. These titles include Darkstalkers Chronicle: The Chaos Tower and Mega Man Maverick Hunter: X both playable only on the PSP®.

Mega Man Maverick Hunter X
Back by popular demand! When Sigma leads a group of Reploids in a revolt against mankind, it’s up to X and Zero to protect the world from ruin. The revolutionary Mega Man® X side-scrolling game is recreated with 3-D graphics, remixed music and special unlockable features!

Darkstalkers Chronicle: The Chaos Tower
The secret power of the dark is unleashed! Fight head-to-head in a fierce and brutal battle for supremacy!  This fan favorite features vivid animations and unbeatable fighting combinations. This fighting phenomenon is updated, redesigned, and ready for a comeback.

Log into the PlayStation® Network and grab these titles today.

Who died and made you king?

Mega Man X 3 is like a whitewashed tomb: its pristine and beautiful exterior belies the putrid, rotting corpse within.  I don’t usually subscribe to the whole graphics versus gameplay diametric, but this time the relationship is definitely inverse.  In Capcom’s efforts to make a better looking, better sounding Mega Man, they actually forgot how to make a Mega Man game in the process.  Deliberately unforgiving level designs densely populated with death machines hell-bent on your destruction give way to sparse, open, and redundant rooms, sometimes filled with nothing at all.  The former – characteristic of the NES originals – was frustrating yet strangely fulfilling, to the point where you may find yourself yelling to no one in particular, “I AM A HARDCORE GAMER!!” after some astounding feat or other.  The latter will have you scratching your head, wondering when the game will suddenly kick into gear and become a real Mega Man game.  This, of course, never happens.

Hello? Is anybody there?

I kid you not, some of these rooms exist for no reason whatsoever.  You run into the room, only to immediately run out of it again (you even unlock a door on both ends).  And yet, during both these events, the ‘camera’ slide-transitions as if to signify ‘this is the next area’.  That’s just stupid!  If I was the artist, I’d be pissed, not only for wasting a perfectly serviceable room, but also for wasting my valuable time.

X 3 is full of these unnecessary flourishes that force you to expect more than it can hope to deliver.  The polished visuals and cyperpunk settings scream ‘anime’, but its back foot remains firmly planted in the NES era.  The ’story’, ‘acting’ and dialogue is especially cringeworthy, and while I’m sure it’s no worse than what you’d expect to find in Mega Mans (Men?) 1 through to 6, at least they were upfront about their intentions: to be games.  By bringing the presentation forward, Capcom have announced their anime aspirations.  By leaving the rest behind, the game appears naked and antiquated.  The playable ‘intro’ would have been nice if it wasn’t just a pre-game wank.  You’re Mega Man, you run in there, blow up a few things, only to get punked by a former ally within the first minute (“you’re far too trusting, Mega Man!”).

Excuse me, waiter! There's some Elizabethan acting in my Mega Man!

This is the game’s ‘Raiden’ moment, where Zero (a robot replete with ridiculous anime hair, originally groomed to be the star of the X series) must rescue Mega Man.  Except, instead of saying “I thought this was called Metal Gear Solid because it had Solid Snake in it”, you’ll be saying, “I thought this was a Mega Man game!”  Once you’ve rescued him, though, it’s back to business as usual, and Mega Man will be handling things from here, thank you very much.  This ‘intro’ seems to have served no other purpose than to show off a playable Zero character, only to neuter the titular character in the process.  For the rest of the game, Zero is relegated to piece work and similarly showy cameos.

Robot hair is all the rage in 21xx.

I tried oh so hard to love this game, but I couldn’t help but compare it to its uglier, more frustrating cousins – you know, games with some semblance of level design.  And then it dawned on me that level design, important though it is, is never graded by the mainstream gaming press alongside the bullet points of graphics/sound/gameplay/replay value.  Even though graphics should be servant to level design; good gameplay is a symptom of good level design; and replay value is a symptom of good gameplay. Followed closely by: how many poorly designed videogames got a pass on those four bullet points alone? Answered by: probably this one, for starters! And then I started thinking about games with good level design, and booted up a new game of Super Metroid.

I’m somewhat confused here.

Mega Man X was Dr. Light’s attempt at creating a self-thinking and feeling robot. Dr. Light was also worried that X might be able to turn against humanity (obviously, because he made the same damn mistake multiple times already in the previous games), so he seals him away in a capsule for thirty-plus years until it can be decided whether X would be a threat.

How about this, Dr. Light: Don’t put guns and crazy super weapons on robots! PROBLEM SOLVED.

X supposedly has thoughts and emotions in-line with a normal human. Nice, but then add a titanium-alloy skin and a fucking energy weapon for an arm, and it doesn’t take a PhD to point out that we have a damn KILLING MACHINE on our hands. I mean, what kind of emotions do you expect to go through his head the first time he meets someone and they want to shake his hand, only to find that it’s been replaced with a space-man gun? Or when he tries to hold a loved one on a cold night against his icy, metallic epidermis?

“Hey, X, high five! Oh, shh…sorry man, I forgot…”

Asshole.

Por Alexei Barros

Essa é uma nota absurdamente hardcore, portanto se você não se interessa por quem faz as músicas, o texto a seguir não é muito recomendado. Aclamada como uma das melhores de todos os tempos, a trilha sonora de Mega Man 2 é creditada ao trio de compositores Ogeretsu Kun, Manami Ietel e Yuukichan’s Papa, como comprova a foto.

Como se poderia imaginar, os nomes são pseudônimos – estapafúrdios demais para serem os verdadeiros. Com o passar do tempo, seja por meio de entrevistas ou pelos créditos dos álbuns lançados, foi descoberto que Manami Ietel e Yuukichan’s Papa são, respectivamente, Manami Matsumae e Yoshihiro Sakaguchi. Contudo, pairava a dúvida acerca da identidade de Ogeretsu Kun. Uma incerteza que durou décadas e finalmente foi revelada graças ao GeOnDan Video Game Creator’s Alliance, uma espécie de sindicato dos compositores games japoneses liderado pelo ex-Konami Yuji Takenouchi. A coalizão já inclui um número generoso de associados, incluindo Yasunori Mitsuda, Noriyuki Iwadare, Michiru Yamane, Michiko Naruke, Kenichiro Fukui, Kenji Ito, Ayako Saso, Shinji Hosoe, Takenobu Mitsuyoshi, Akira Yamaoka, Hiroki Kikuta, Motoaki Furukawa…

O nome real de Ogeretsu Kun é Takashi Tateishi, conforme suspeitava o mestre da investigação CHz no fórum do VGMdb. Não só isso, como foi revelada outra alcunha: Takashi Sasugano. São escassas mais informações, haja vista a foto de um cachorro no perfil dele, e ainda restam dúvidas sobre a autoria de cada faixa da trilha do Mega Man 2, mas é um avanço e tanto, levando em conta que até mesmo o GMCL, banco de dados supremo de compositores, considerava a real identidade do Ogeretsu Kun como desconhecida. Além disso, foram confirmadas outras participações de Tateishi, como os arcades Side Arms Hyper Dyne, shmup de Yoshiki Okamoto, e Willow, baseado no filme Willow – Na terra da magia, talvez um dos melhores jogos licenciados já feitos.

After all my talk of how Mega Man is one of my favorite video game series, and after creating Bomb Man and Pharaoh Man, I felt finally ready. Using the Beary Jackson pattern once more, I set to make myself a Mega Man. He was more difficult than Bomb Man because of the helmet, but the helmet was more basic than Pharaoh Man’s headdress, so Mega Man took a little less time. I even considered giving him some hair to poke out from underneath his helmet, but decided against it.  Here is the final product:

Bring on the Pews!

Top 1980’s Video Games

1. Super Mario Brothers 1
2. Mike Tyson’s Punchout
3. Super Mario Brothers 3
4. Mega Man
5. Legend of Zelda

Swedish rapper Pato Pooh with his music video for Follow Me. It’s so cool. And retro. I love Mega Man.

The rhymes are alright. Cool 16 bit style beat.

163. Stockholm City.

I think in the US he would get sued for copyright infringement by like 15 different companies.

I can’t help but like this a little bit. I thought Mega Man was still in jail, apparently not! You got to have a listen and remind yourself what it was like 2001. Romeo Dunn!!

You're really getting to the bottom of the villain barrel when their elemental power is wheels.

Wire Sponge.

Morph Moth.

Flame Stag.

Magma Centipede.

Crystal Snail.

Wheel Gator.

Bubble Crab.

Overdrive Ostrich.

Are these Mega Man bosses, or Splinter Cell subtitles, or Japanese vending machine drinks? In any case, they’re evidence that someone is running out of ideas.

Wire Sponge?  Wire Sponge? Really?

Shockingly, it turns out that Wire Sponge’s level is really hard and he has like, grappling pom poms that kill you.  Are you surprised? I’m not.

I have decided that I hate Mega Man, and his incredibly deadly world.  Why would anyone live there?  It’s miserable.  Either there are thousands of robots trying to kill you, or there is one unkillable robot constantly trying to kill you and all your friends.  Nobody wins.

Just kill yourself, Mega Man.

Just kill yourself.