Over the past month or so I went to some real neato deato smeato concerts. (Are we still calling them concerts? What are the hipster losers calling them these days? Rawk shows? Gigs? Smegma?)
First up was Thursday and Far at Bowery Ballroom. Oh yeah and the terrible opening band, Midnight Masses. Some of the most boring music I’ve heard in a long time and their performance was even more boring. This is exactly the kind of crap that Pitchfork is going to tell you is so hip right now. It was kind of sad actually because all six members sang but they did the most boring harmonies and background lines possible. It’s really a waste to have that many people in a band that can sing and just have them doing “ahhhhhhhh” on one note for a whole song. So I’m sure this time next year this band will be huge and having Carrie Underwood open for them.
Far was amazing as expected. I’ve been listening to them for over ten years and it was great to finally see them live. They didn’t play any new material from their upcoming which was good idea I believe. I was surprised that at least half of the audience seemed to know the songs and that some mini pits broke out. It’s too bad that the only shirts they had were youth small since I clock in at over 500 pounds.
Thursday played their “breakthrough” album, Full Collapse, from front to back. Personally, I would have preferred to hear War All The Time instead but Full Collapse translates better live than the recording. Geoff, the singer from Thursday, had also joined Midnight Masses and Far each for a song so that was something that happened. After playing Full Collapse Thursday played about six more songs including Jet Black New Year, which is scientifically their best song for sure. I’ll be seeing them again in December and hopefully they’ll play some of the better songs off of Common Existence. Also playing that show will be Dillinger Escape Plan(!), Glassjaw(!!!!!!) and United Nations(?!). When we got flyers for this while waiting in line we thought it was a joke because the lineup is almost too good to be true.

Sorry ladies, take your tampon napkin somewhere else!

Cockaoke.

Japanese princess?

Friday Night Fun!

Although a wide variety of official pre-fest events were offered, there was also plenty of other stuff to do:

Unsanctioned Friday Fun #1: Bats!

The Congress Avenue Bridge is the home to the world’s largest urban bat colony. Kate and I decided this would be a good way to kick off the weekend. We found a spot on the bridge at dusk, just as the critters launched their attack on Austin’s bugs.

As I was watching this happen, some old man put a button in my hand and walked away. It said “I love the bats” or something like that. It also said that I was supposed to donate money to the old man, because he was deaf and making buttons was how he supported himself. Whatever. I handed the button back. He called Kate a bitch or, more accurately, a screeching “Bith!” I gave him some sign language and we took off.

Unsanctioned Fun #2: The Stars of Aqua Teen Hunger Force Live!

You know what is weird? Seeing cartoon character’s voices coming out of real life people. It’s like you’ve entered some weird alternate dimension. You start to think, if Meatwad is actually a person, am I a cartoon? Have things gone topsy turvy? I don’t know. Give me a watermelon soda!

Essentially, this show was Dana Snyder (Master Shake) and Dave Willis (Meatwad and Carl) fucking around for a couple hours. They played a bunch of never-before-seen episodes and weird short films about evil telephones and butt massages. They also sang a Christmas song and gave everyone in the audience kazoos, allowing us to make enough racket to annoy the people watching The Box in the theater next door. It was fun.

It also cost us a shit ton to get to, because we didn’t realize it was at a theater that was actually way out in the suburbs. $40 cab rides each way. Our Greek cab driver, Zack, spent the ride back gushing about how in love with San Diego was. Now, I’ve never been there, but apparently it is a sunny wonderland filled with lemon trees that give off a soothing aroma that can be smelled throughout the city. Oh, he also mentioned that he didn’t like Austin as much because all the Mexicans call him an amigo and he is not an amigo. “I am as white as you are!”

Unsanctioned Fun #3: Mojo Nixon!

Zack dropped us off at the Continental club. We were still giggling from the show and from the cab driver’s crazy stories as we walked in to catch the tail end of the New Duncan Imperials.

Dash Rip Rock came up next. Midway through their set, they played a song called “Let’s Go Smoke Some Pot,” sung to the tune of “Let’s Go to the Hop.” Now, this would be no big deal ordinarily, except that earlier in the day, Kate had been singing that very song. “I have this stupid song in my head and I have no idea why!” she had said. Now we knew the reason!

Some fat old guy in jean shorts got up on stage next. “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, ‘Mojo, you got old! You got fat! Why don’t you go on a diet? Why don’t you dye your hair! Why don’t you get yourself a pair of long pants? Why don’t you make nice music?” When the rant concluded, Mojo Nixon stomped right into “Debbie Gibson is Pregnant with My Two Headed Love Child.” The hootin’ and hollerin’ continued, as the rambunctious band spit out all the hits: “Tie My Pecker to My Leg,” “Elvis is Everywhere,” “Are You Drinking with Me Jesus” and a rollicking rendition of “You Can’t Kill Me.”

All in all, we got a hilarious start to a killer weekend.

Saturday Fun Fun Fun!

After a leisurely stroll to Waterloo park, conveniently located in downtown Austin, we completely ignored the blue stage (that’s the stage where the hip-hop and dance stuff goes down), walked right past the orange stage (that one’s saturated with indie rock), didn’t even consider going to the yellow stage (comedy and acoustic) and went straight for the black stage (punk and metal, baby) for Coliseum.

With the sun shining down, I found a spot in the shade while Coliseum kicked out some mean, but surprisingly catchy, metal. They made some bad jokes about headliner Danzig’s height and clothes, unfortunately setting the stage for every other damn band to come up with their own Danzig joke. It was already tedious, but there were more to come.

After Coliseum, I wandered over to the Yellow stage to catch some of the Altercation Comedy show. I didn’t catch the name of the first guy, who didn’t so much tell jokes as spew stupidity about how he told his girlfriend that because they both had wide-set eyes they would have a hammerhead shark baby. JT Habersaat opened with the same material he used last year, which wasn’t all that funny then, so I headed back to the black stage for the Night Marchers.

The Night Marchers were dicks. Their singer’s between song banter included statements like, “We’re really happy to be here, and I’m only kind of lying about that” and “I had thought I was going to Boston up until I got off the plane. I have to say I’m pretty disappointed.” Maybe it’s his schtick. Maybe it’s brutal sincerity. Either way, it didn’t diminish the fact that the band rocks.

Things didn’t really kick in for me until I caught Shonen Knife on the Orange stage. If you can listen to this legendary Japanese trio without smiling, you are probably an ork. After playing a song about sushi, the singer mentioned that she had heard that Texas was known for its barbecue. They kept the food theme going by playing “BBQ Party,” which, incidentally, mentions deep fried tofu, which I’d love to see more of at Austin’s barbecue joints. My favorite: “Muddy Bubbles Hell,” Shonen Knife’s interpretation of Priest and Dio style metal. This is when the sets started feeling way too short.

I went back to the black stage to watch the Sword. After finding a seat on the not-so-swank PIP (pretty important person) viewing platform, I caught sight of a two-year-old perched on his dad’s shoulders. The little guy was playing drums on his pop’s head, which wouldn’t have been a big deal, except that he was keeping perfect time with the sludgy metal coming from the Sword. When mom stood next do dad, suddenly the kid had two drums, and man that little dude was rockin! The sword were fine, but that little guy really kicked ass.

Melt Banana were up next, starting their set by playing what looked like video game controllers. I’m always in awe by this band and the crazy noises they make. The fact that their songs actually have melodies and can still involve a guitar player who makes his instrument sound like an exploding squeaky toy blows my mind. After getting over the confusion that this band inevitably invokes, the crowd started moshing a bit. Spazzy, awkward, fast, bouncy moshing… the only kind appropriate for this band.

Oh yeah. Here’s where it really kicked in. 7 Seconds is one of my faves, but I haven’t seen them in a decade. I found a spot close to the stage and got ready for the circle bit action. Kevin Seconds and the gang bolted through a set that focused primarily on the classics like “Diehard Youth,” “Committed for Life,” “Red and Black” and “The Crew.” The tunes they drew from the more recent Good to Go seemed to fit in nicely. Of course, they’re nearly a decade old now, so they aren’t exactly new. “We’re Gonna Fight,” my favorite 7 Seconds tune, arrived mid set and I shouted along just a little louder to that one. They closed things out one of my favorite sets of the weekend with “99 Red Baloons.”

One of the other cool things about Fun Fun Fun Fest is that there is a lot of gushing going on on stage. Seems like every band said something about how great it was to be sharing the stage with so and so. As for Fucked Up, their singer gushed about the upcoming Negative Approach show. He also made a great joke about babies being receipts for sex, requesting that the crowd not tell his wife that he said that. Fucked Up kept it intense. Mentally, I was still back at the 7 Seconds performance.

Dinner time. With the fancy PIP passes Kate and I sprung for, we were entitled to free food. Unfortunately, that food was vegetarian chili on fritos. So that cloud of butt stink hovering over the crowd at the black stage? Yeah.

As we at and drank, we watched Les Savy Fav freak out on the orange stage. From the PIP area, it looked like the singer was wearing a big white dress. Kate said it was a space suit. Either way, he stripped pretty quickly. Each stage is actually two stages. A band plays on one while the next band sets up on the other. That’s why there’s only five minutes between bands. Efficiency rules. This setup gave the singer of Les Savy Fav the opportunity to wander over to the adjacent stage midsong and harass the sound guys as they tried to set up for Ratatat. He played their drums and goofed around for a minute before spazzing back to his own stage.

“This is gonna be good,” David Yow of the Jesus Lizard said, pacing around the stage as his bandmates grabbed their instruments. I suspect he was thinking more about himself than the crowd. With “Give me something to stop the Bleeding,” the opening words of “Puss,” he launched into the crowd, where he would spend the majority of the show riding on top of the hands of sweaty fest-goers.

Yow is a professional crowd surfer. You’ll see none of that sloppy microphone-dropping, verse-missing nonsense when the Jesus Lizard is in action. Even toppling end over end, he’s singing every word. It goes without saying that the intensity level is off the charts. Questioning the man’s sanity wouldn’t be out of order, especially when he pauses between songs to get emo about how he crowd surfed to where his sister was standing and gave her a kiss before following the natural motion of the crowd back to the stage. With the gentlest Texas breeze rolling through to cool off the crowd, the Jesus Lizard frenzied through tunes like “Mouth Breather” and “Gladiator” before wrapping up. I was sad that the fest was over for the day, but the night still had more to offer.

Saturday Post-Fest Fun!

Kate and I headed over to Red 7 for the aftershow. We caught Naw Dude, who were fine, but totally upstaged by Trash Talk. This band is intense. I love watching bands that are so violent, so insane, that I start to wonder if I’m at risk of physical harm. When the singer of Trash Talk swung his microphone, hitting the heads of people in the front row, he clearly didn’t give a shit, and the music reflects this. This is music to draw blood to.

I’m pretty sure that, at one point during their set, one of the guys from Christ on Parade shouted, “Yeah! 1984!” It was obvious that they were reliving it. I just wish they could have done it in private, because they were fucking boring. Beyond that, I couldn’t tell if the singer was trying to be rockabilly or the bride of frankenstein with his ridiculous hair. Fuck.

Negative Approach only has a limited pool of songs to draw from, and they played most of them. They started with “Lost Cause.” John Brannon sang this one so fast that words disappeared. It was just that gut-rattling growl of his, pounding on my ears. The crowd moshers had trouble staying on their feet. They tumbled over each other. Out of the nowhere, one guy appeared pushing another in a shopping cart. That came to a quick end.

“This is the only love song we ever wrote,” Brannon announced before the band bashed its way through “Ready to Fight.” As violent as the music was, there were no fight. Actually, I mostly saw smiles. I was sure the fuck wearing one. Two of my favorite bands in one night? What are the chances. Only at Fun Fun Fun!

Sunday Fun Fun Fun!

I woke up Sunday and looked out the window. Rain. Uh oh. Kate and I debated our options. Should we stay at our hotel until the evening? Should we go to the fest as planned? We decided to get a late start, not getting to the black stage until about 3, clad in weird orange rain ponchos we had hastily purchased from the hotel gift shop. We arrived just in time for Mika Miko.

Supposedly, that was the end for Mika Miko. Of course, they were playing at a fest with about half a dozen bands that had ended at least once before, so who knows if that will stick? Either way, they requested moshing and they got it. They requested crowd surfing and they got it. I liked the saxophone. Their brand of poppy, no-wave was a lot of fun.

Then it was back to the yellow stage for Metallagher. A Metallica cover band fronted by a Gallagher impersonator? You can’t go wrong. “You have some crazy fruit down here,” Gallagher said, smashing open some kind of melon. “What is this? Ant eggs or something?” he asked, looking at the insides of the fruit before tossing it at the crowd. The last time I saw Metallagher, it got messy, and not necessarily in a good way. Today, though, no bleeding. No problems. Well, they did require the management to shut their sound off and kick them off the stage as they were covering “Last Caress” (technically not a Metallica cover, although Metallica covered it, so they’re safe), but that’s really to be expected.

I got back to the black stage in time to catch the end of Youth Brigade. While I still maintain that Youth Brigade is a bunch of dicks, they’re music is pretty cool. And their guitar player was wearing a Riot Fest Sucks shirt, which I highly endorse. After chastising some kids for using records as umbrellas (Crystal Castles or some other indie rock band was actually selling their LPs as umbrellas at the merch stand), they wrapped up their set with “Sink With California.”

“Danzig is going to be flying in at dusk with the bats from the Congress Avenue Bridge.” And with that, the best Danzig joke of the fest had been made by the Street Dogs. They also got the crowd whipped up into a decent frenzy, regardless of the rain. The Street Dogs are one of those road warrior bands that are always out there, always putting on awesome shows and making crowds shake their fists in the air. Today was no different.

I didn’t watch Coalesce, but I heard them from the portajohn that I was in and it made me worry that the blue capsule was going to be blasted violently into the air, set afire and ripped apart while I was trying to pull up my pants.

I checked out some Riverboat Gamblers, some Lucero and some Torche. Unfortunately, as Danzig’s set grew closer, I had trouble concentrating on any of these bands. Also, I was getting hungry. I ran up to the PIP area to see what they were serving. Whatever it was, the line was way too long. As much as I wanted to eat for free, I didn’t want to miss bands for it. I opted for a bunch of cookies from one of the vendor. After giving one to Kate, I ate two of them and stuck the other one in my pocket. Not hungry for it, but sure it wouldn’t make it until I was.

As D.R.I. was doing their soundcheck, one of the most intense mosh pits of the weekend broke out. It kept going when the band took the stage, opening with “Who am I?” As tight as these guys sounded, it was hard to believe that they were just coming off a multi-year hiatus from playing live. Their set was brilliantly structured, alternating between the old old stuff – the 30 second long songs – and the merely old stuff – the full on thrash assaults that went on for a few minutes. The rain died down, thrashed away.

Gorilla Biscuits carried the moment with their old school New York hardcore. They opened with “Stand Still,” moving through “Cats and Dogs” and others, throwing in a curve by playing Civ’s “Do Something.” The sound went weird about halfway through, but the energy level stayed constant. Some of the worst stage diving I had ever seen was going on though. Big guys jumping out into empty spaces. Little girls going knees first. Yikes.

After the shitty sound during Gorilla Biscuits and obvious problems during sound check, I started to get worried. I’ve seen what happens when Danzig has bad sound, and it’s not pretty. Last year’s Blackest of the Black stop at the Myth was proof. I couldn’t stand to see a repeat of that. Thankfully, the sound guys got it taken care of. It took a while, and I heard some grumbling from the crowd, but when Danzig took the stage to sing “Skin Carver” and everything sounded fucking perfect, it was worth the wait and then some.

I love Danzig. I’m not saying that in some ironic, hipster, retro bullshit way, either. I’m serious. Not to get all “I’m a bigger fan than everyone else,” but I’ve probably listened to Danzig 7 more than most people in the crowd have listened to Legacy of Brutality. That’s just the way it is. This is my favorite band that we’re talking about. Always has been. So part of me is a little weird that all the sudden he’s getting love from Spin magazine and all these other places that didn’t haven’t mentioned Danzig in years. Still, if it packs in the fans like it did tonight, then it can only be a good thing.

While I wasn’t surprised that I was the only one singing along to opener “Skin Carver,” I was caught off guard by how many people joined in when Danzig started going through the timeline chronologically with tracks from Danzig 1. The shouting along didn’t really start to fade until well into the set, when Danzig dug into material from 4 and later. Still, the crowd’s energy carried through, and it seemed like everyone noticed that “Black Angel, White Angel,” the penultimate song of the set, is absolutely amazing and easily one of Danzig’s best. The fists kept pumping.

The crowd at Fun Fun Fun fest is great. Everyone is positive. You don’t hear complaining. You don’t see boredom. You see smiles everywhere you look, that is if you can focus on faces as you see people running frantically from one stage to the next. Then, when you’re in front of a stage, everyone there seems to be totally psyched by whatever band is playing. While the crowd at Fun Fun Fun fest is a huge part of why Danzig’s set was so awesome, the weather was important too.

After constant rain all day, the precipitation finally stopped just before Danzig started. I can’t think of a more perfect environment in which to hear “How the Gods Kill” than under the black sky, the slightest post-rain chill in the fresh Texas air. Of course, Danzig took credit for this: “I heard you guys were having a drought, so I brought the Danzig black clouds of rain with me.”

Of course, the bulk of the credit has to go to Glenn Danzig and the band. They were tight, the tightest I’ve ever seen them. They went nuts. As Danzig sang about “Blood, like a crimson highway, spreading out from his forehead to the ground,” he charged across the stage, before holding the microphone out to the crowd to sing along. When he yelled “Go fucking crazy” during “Bringer of Death,” people did. When he hit the last song, “Mother,” it didn’t seem like there was a single person who didn’t know the words. The music boomed into the night, gripping everyone, pulling them in. I’ve seen Danzig many times, and this was quite possibly the best.

As the crowd dispersed, Johnny Kelly tossed his drumsticks from the stage. I’m not one to fight for shit thrown from stage, but one of his drumsticks bounced off the back of the girl in front of me (she ducked) and landed at my feet. I figured it was mine. I picked it up and immediately saw a set of hands grabbing for it. After seeing such an awesome show, it was hard for me to conjure up a pissed off face for the guy, but I did my best. He got the message, awkwardly withdrawing his hands, saying “Those are just like the drumsticks I bought yesterday.” I shrugged my shoulders and walked away, replaying the set in my head. Here’s how it went down:

• Skin Carver
• Twist of Cain
• Am I Demon
• Tired of Being Alive
• Long Way Back from Hell
• Her Black Wings
• How the Gods Kill
• Do You Wear the Mark?
• Brand New God
• Satan’s Crucifiction
• Bringer of Death
• Unspeakable
• Black Angel, White Angel
• Mother

Despite slamming around a few rows back from the stage, I checked my pocket and the cookie I had stowed away earlier was still in one piece. Evil doings, man! Tasty evil doings!

Sunday Post-Fest Fun!

Ah! Why did it have to end? Couldn’t it go on forever? Oh well. There was still one last nugget of fun to squeeze out of the weekend. Kate and I wandered to Beerland. Eagle Claw wrapped up and Easy Action took their turn. Easy Action, if you don’t know is John Brannon’s other band. His voice is just as soul-crushing and angry as it is in Negative Approach, only more depressed. Easy Action is rock ‘n’ roll for suicides. They ran through “Friends of Rock & Roll,” a Cheap Trick cover and some others while some annoying punk scenesters stood in front of the stage and waved at their friends in the back of the room. Bah. I grabbed the set list and we wandered over to Red 7.

We walked past King Khan & BBQ, who actually sounded so tight that I thought they were a recording at first, and went outside to see the Forgetters, featuring that weiner from Jawbreaker. This is the only dude in the world who would check the microphone at a punk show by reading poetry. “How does that sound?” the sound guy asked. “It sounds like John Keats, which always sounds good.” I rolled my eyes. I continued rolling my eyes through the first song, trying to fight off the fact that it was actually pretty awesome. Pretentious as fuck, but awesome. I imagine the weiner slaving over those lyrics deep into the night. The work paid off. It was a great set, and he didn’t make any fucking Danzig jokes.

The Stars of Aqua Teen Hunger Force Live took place at the Alamo Drafthouse Lake Creek. Mojo Nixon played at the Continental Club. Fun Fun Fun Fest took place 11/07/09 and 11/08/09 at Waterloo Park in Austin, TX. Afterparties were at Red 7 and Beerland.

Melt Banana played at Slims this past Friday. The last time they played SF was 2 years ago at the Independent which was a more energetic show, but their Slim’s show rocked pretty hard with the new addition of Melt Banana Lite. Spoiler alert… don’t read on if you intend to see them on this current tour and you don’t know what Melt Banana Lite is. For the rest of you… read on my friends. Melt Banana took the stage in the dark, wearing head lamps like some sort of punk rock noise miners. I’m not an expert on head lamps, but these must have been some bad ass japanese supersonic lights because they were awesome and bright and white. It was sick, they were playing in the dark and periodically I would get blinded by the lights from their headlamps. What was most impressive is that they were playing a different style too, it was a departure from their straightforward rock band set up. The music was electronic and distorted and noisy but I don’t think that the bass player was there (I was a little disoriented though, so don’t quote me). After some time, the stage lights came up, they left the electronic stuff behind and they launched into their classic Melt Banana goodness. The lead singer always tries to connect with the crowd at some point between songs, but this time she was really chatty. I remember the first time that I saw them in 1997 in Albuquerque at the Launchpad, which we lovingly called the Raunch-pad, she said something about Merry Christmas in major broken English and some dude in the crowd yelled “fuck Christmas”. She turned to the guitarist and was like “huh?” He leaned in to translate Fuck in Japanese and she was all “oooooooh. Okay. thank you” before jumping into their next face-melter.

It felt like since it was the second show of their tour, they were saving their energy for something, but overall it was a solid show. You should definitely see them if they come through your town on the current tour.

Für alle die es wieder vergessen haben sollte: Am Fr (also morgen) Legt Fry van Houten in der Scheinbar auf. Bgeinn is so ab 21:00. Geboten wird eine wirre Rundreise vom schnulzigen Melancholiepop bis zum alleszerstörenden Noiseindustrialmassakern. Und alles was so dazwischen passt. Mal n paar Referenzbands was alles im House playen wird: Dälek, Melt Banana, Einstürzende Neubauten, Q & Not U, Fugazi, Beirut, Cotzbrocken, BRMC, Bauhaus, ASF, DAF,Knarf Rellöm, Zitronen, Cotzbrocken, Animal Collectiv, !!!, Avalanches, Beastie Boys, Curse ov Dialect, Das Bierbeben… und evtl. Cotzbrocken.

Weiter Infos:

http://marginalpop.wordpress.com/2009/10/16/werbung-in-eigener-sache/

bzw. einfach runterscrollen:)

Some nights I like to sit alone, weeping uncontrollably into the darkness. I’ll pour myself one too many babychams and think about times past. Maybe if I’d been willing to see things differently, maybe if I’d been willing to change, things could have been different. I light another cigarette, lie back, put another record on. Just a coupla more tunes to see me through troublesome times. Sometimes it’s Armchair Boogie by Michael Hurley, sometimes it’s the Never Ending Story by Limahl. Doesn’t matter. Just me, myself and the music. And sometimes – sometimes that’s enough, y’know?

But crapping crikey, do I really need to pay £20 to go and ‘see’ someone perform in near darkness? One of the best things about listening to music in the dark on your own is that YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN. It’s like being serenaded by angels whilst you have a particularly emotional wank. Things change when you’re sat amongst hundreds of other people doing the same.

Hope Sandoval’s last solo album, Bavarian Fruitbread (and most of the Mazzy Star back-catalogue), is one of those albums you can turn to in a crisis. It never lets you down. It’s dreamy, it’s hypnotic and it can completely re-tune your brain. It goes with darkness like civil servants go with a blank absence of ideas and intellectual rigour. But the choice to actually perform in darkness is questionable.

Ok, I’ve seen some bands pull it off: Mogwai, Melt Banana, Spiritualized etc. There are bands that made nineties journalists dribble themselves into a care homes with talk of soundscapes and sonic cathedrals. There are bands creating a noise such that you don’t know whether to punch yourself in the eyes, or shit yourself inside out. Hope’s music aligns her with the former. Trouble is, it’s music that engages through it’s emotional and lyrical resonance. It isn’t just about the sound. For the audience to be fully engaged and immersed, it helps to see the physical nuances of the performer’s delivery as they convey, amplify or even distort the feelings behind the words.

Don’t get me wrong, the video work is a captivating performance in itself. It’s repetitive enough to draw you in and let the music wash over you.  But without the focus of a visible human being, on it’s own, I’m not sure it’s enough . It may be that performing in darkness is a way for Sandoval to deal with a reported crippling shyness. It may be a way of resisting lazy journalistic reductions of this music to talk about the physical beauty of the performer, which used to happen a lot when she was in Mazzy Star. In which case, all well and good. It’s just a shame that such an unscalable barrier is erected in the process. It begs the question of whether Hope actually needs to attend her own gigs. And that can’t be a good thing.

• Doors at 9pm,
• $10 over 21, $12 under 21
• All Ages

So, I got into Melt Banana (aka MxBx) when they put out a 5″ vinyl / 3″ CD split with Mike Patton’s Fantômas back in 2005 called “Animali in Calore Surriscaldati con Ipertermia Genitale / Cat in Red” on Italian label Unhip Records.  MxBx are the Japanese noise metal cousin of Fantômas; so the split single as a marketing tool worked… I was hooked on Melt Banana.

They’ve got a new 3″ CD / 7″ vinyl coming out called “initial t.” on Init Records.  Three songs were recorded in early 2008, and it allegedly picks up where their 2007 album Bambi’s Dilemma left off.  The CD is packaged in a 3″ cardboard jacket.  The vinyl’s first pressing is limited to 1,000 copies (200 on blue marble vinyl, 200 on mixed vinyl, 600 on black vinyl) and includes a download card for MP3’s of the record.  Artwork on both the CD and vinyl is in “stunning full-color” by Aaron Horkey.  It is expected to be available for pre-order from the Init website as of today, 10/1, and it ships in late October.  They’re currently list as “coming soon”… so, if you’re one of the ones who wants to get a blue marble vinyl, keep your clicker finger warmed up.

CD: GO HERE
Vinyl: GO HERE

They’ve swung through Eugene once since I’ve lived here, but I was unluckily out of town.  Well, they’re playing Portland in December; so I’m there.  Here are the rest of their US Tour dates for MxBx Lite (vocals guitar & drums):

• 10/29 Visalia, CA at Cellar Door
• 10/30 San Francisco, CA at Slims
• 11/01 San Diego, CA at Casbah
• 11/03 Tucson, AZ at Plush
• 11/04 Phoenix, AZ at Hollywood Alley
• 11/06 Denton, TX at Haileys
• 11/07 Austin, TX at FFF Fest
• 11/08 San Antonio, TX at Rock Bottom Bar
• 11/09 Houston, TX at Walters
• 11/10 New Orleans, LA at Republic
• 11/11 Pensacola, FL at Sluggo’s
• 11/12 Birmigham, AL at Bottle Tree Cafe
• 11/13 Athens, GA at 40 Watt Club
• 11/14 Gainesville, FL at Common Grounds
• 11/15 Tampa, FL at Crowbar
• 11/16 Orlando, FL at Back Booth
• 11/18 Columbia, SC at New Brookland Tavern
• 11/19 Chapel Hill, NC at Local 506
• 11/20 Washington, DC at Rock and Roll Hotel
• 11/21 Baltimore, MD at Ottobar
• 11/22 Philadelphia, PA at First Unitarian Church
• 11/23 New York, NY at Bowery Ballroom
• 11/24 Boston, MA at Middle East Downstairs
• 11/25 Hamden, CT at The Space
• 11/27 Buffalo, NY at Mohawk Place
• 11/28 Detroit, MI at The Pike Room at Crofoot Ballroom
• 11/29 Cleveland, OH at Grog Shop
• 11/30 Chicago, IL at Bottom Lounge
• 12/01 Minneapolis, MN at 7th Street Entry
• 12/02 Madison, WI at High Noon Saloon
• 12/03 Iowa City, IA at Picadur
• 12/04 Sioux Falls, SD at Nutty’s
• 12/05 Omaha, NE at Waiting Room
• 12/07 Denver, CO at Bluebird Theater
• 12/08 Salt Lake City, UT at Urban Lounge
• 12/10 Missoula, MT at Badlanders
• 12/11 Seattle, WA at Chop Suey
• 12/12 Portland, OR at Dante’s
• 12/15 Pomona, CA at Glasshouse
• 12/16 Los Angeles, CA at Troubadour

~Dan – np: SF Jazz Collective (Dave Douglas, Joe Lovano, Miguel Zenon, etc) – Live 2009

I recently obtained a copy of Dynamite with a Laserbeam: Queen as Heard Through The Meat Grinder of Three One G (Various Artists). Three One G is an alternative record label that operates out of San Diego, and as you would expect, is the stable to many of the artists on this record.  As the title suggests, it features covers of Queen songs by various artists (16 of ‘em).

Now, I’ve always been a bit ambivalent about cover versions. I’m of the school of thought that a cover version should sound nothing like the original, otherwise, all you’re really doing is high-class karaoke. You’ll be pleased to know then, gentle reader, that your intrepid writer can report that many of these songs sound nothing like the originals or at least twist them into grotesque mirror images. 

The Blood Brothers set things off with a surf -punk version of Under Pressure, before Get Hustle’s drunken jazz take on Another One Bites the Dust.  From here on in, things get a little more interesting and extreme. Indeed, one thing that’s apparently obvious from a quick scan of the tracks, is that the obvious choices of Queen hits are eschewed in favour of more obscure album tracks. Thus Asterisk* give us their take on Ogre Battle, which very much sounds as if the ogres gave up battling, ate the band, and decided to play the instruments themselves.

The Oath provide a nihilistic version of We Are The Champions and do for it, what Sid Vicious did for My Way, but with considerably more aplomb. Go Go Go Air Heart give Death on Two Legs a suitably lo-fi rendition, while Upsilon Acrux treat Bicycle Race to a curious, instrumental experiment.  Sinking Body provide the first of many tracks which are completely unrecognisable in their wholly original industrial interpretation of Who Needs You, which ticks all the boxes for me by being almost as far from the original as you might want to get.

The Freddie Mercury penned The Fairy Feller’s Master Strokemay seem little more than pastoral whimsy, all be it with a gay subtext, however Glass Candy’s version is a superior one, and one of the best tracks found here. The fairy glade is replaced by the altogether shabbier, rain-drenched backstreet of an unknown city, where pimps, prostitutes, and drug-dealers lie in wait for the unwary providing escapes into darker fantasies.  Next up are the excellent The Locust who deal with Flash’s Theme in around 56 or so seconds running time and do so with considerably more attack, urgency and excitement than in the original.

Now, those of you still paying attention will probably agree that it takes some balls to attack the operatic bombast of Bohemian Rhapsody.  Weasel Water makes a game attempt, however the awfulness of the original still shines through. The Spacewurm fare better with Vutan’s Theme (sic). Indeed the sound effects of the original are married to a grungy, electronic reworking that evokes a bio-chemical attack rather than Brian Blessed in a pair of speedos, showing off his big helmet and shouting a lot.  Continuing on an electronic theme Fast Forward offer a wholly joyous cover of Crazy Little Thing Called Love.

There’s something extremely satisfying about The Convocation Of’s version of Get Down Make Love.  While almost conventional in spirit, it embues the track with an altogether seedier atmosphere.   Of course the good thing about it is Freddie’s double-entendres which here, remain intact. Mind you, for that very reason, I’ve always wondered why The Eagles of Death Metal never covered this one.  Bastard Noise don’t so much as steam-roller Lily of the Valley so much as nuke the valley, encase the valley in concrete, and nuke it all over again.  I’m more than impressed that they heard this (well, let’s admit it) gentle love ballad and thought. “We can make over three minutes of noise here!” It’s terrific. If you are a Queen fan I would suggest that this version will be as shocking to you, as say, stepping on a cat’s tail is to a cat.

I’d not heard of Tourettes Lautrec before (they get bonus points for the name), but they do Killer Queen proud by turning a self-conciously bohemian and urbane song into something altogether more angsty and spiky.  The final word goes to my old favourites Melt Banana who provide delicate Japanese female vocals over the deep bass throb of We Will Rock You, before the song destroys itself in a blizzard of feedback and distortion. Most satisfying.

Of course, It’s very easy to take the piss out of Queen. They are rock and roll royalty after all. However I get the feeling that many of these tracks may well have been prepared with a love of the originals in mind.  And let’s not forget, certainly under the aegis of Brian May and Roger Taylor we were given the proto-punk of Modern Times Rock ‘n’ Roll, and Sheer Heart Attack.  Without doubt Dynamite with a Laserbeam breathes new life into old favourites – and there’s not a big gay moustache anywhere in sight!

A Rabid Poodle On Speed: (god help us) Melt Banana. Post updated, sessions added, no recanting whatsoever.

(ed. This was written by one of our new writers, Paula Anne Anicite, she does’t have an account set up yet so I posted it for her.)

Fun Fun Fun Fest has been gathering momentum since 2006, so this year’s Fest definitely promises to be something spectacular. The lineup is something to drool over, it has something for everyone.  Like Jap rock?  For you, there’s Shonen Knife and Melt Banana.  Into rap ’til the day you die?  I got one word for you: GZA.  Here’s another: Pharcyde.  Post Punk fanatic?  Mission of Burma is coming out of the woodworks for this festival, among others.  Crystal Castles are back in Austin–they blew the night scene out the water when they played SXSW a couple years ago.  They’re a real party.

Who am I kidding?  This whole festival’s going to be one huge party.  It’s in November, so we all have plenty of time to make travel plans, tell the boss ahead of time, and make it the hell over to Austin.

For those of us who don’t know, Fun Fun Fun Fest was created by “people in the music scene, that are in it everyday” and are fueled by the DIY attitude that a real love for music instills in creative, motivated people.  Thank God there are still some of us up there in the higher levels of Music Industry Hierarchy.  A lot of people in the industry these days are so wrapped up in tabloid reviews, looking hip, copyrights, starting trends, gettin’ rich and spendin’ it quick, the true spirit of DIY + music + people having fun gets overshadowed so fast; people don’t realize it’s missing.  Consider FFFFest a bright light in the cookie cutter music world, a wake-up call, some sort of revival, a defibrillator to the music scene.

Shonen Knife- Cycling is fun

Melt Banana- We Will Rock You (Queen cover)

Gza feat. RZA- Life is a movie

Pharcyde- Drop

Mission of Burma- That’s When I Reach for My Revolver

Crystal Castles- Crimewave (LAZertag Hard mix)

Um dem Bamberger-(und Umland) mal ein entsprechendes Forum für Ausgeh-Musthaves zu bieten, fangen wir jetz auch mal an Sachen zu promoten die nicht auf unserem Mist gewachsen sind. Den Anfang machen zwei Konzi hinweise für die seid Jahren damit nicht mehr gesegnte Domstadt(was keine Quali is, zählt nicht).

Den Anfang machen die Down Under HipHoper Curse ov Dialect am heutigen Do(10.9) ab 21h im Morph Club. Fängt für Morph Verhältnisse doch schon mal geil an (und soll wohl demnäxt mit Melt Banana und NOmeansno weiter gehen). Band is für Fans von Anticon bzw. Mush Records sicherlich n Trip wert. Is auch eins von nur 3 Tomanien Gigs. Die anderen 2 sind Berlin und HH. Wenn das mal keinen Großstadtflair verbreitet.

[Review]

Das Konzert war noch fetter als ich erwartet hatte. Und dabei hab ich die Vorband verpasst, die wohl eine Sideproject eines Bandmembers war, inkl. postkoloinaler Pornoshow. Damn! Die Bamberger Sitte 1 1/2h nach Beginn aufzukreuzen wird im Morph jetz gnadenlos bekämpft. Die Beats waren wahsinnig fett. Abwechslungreich und durch wie man sie schon von Platte kennt, nur treten sie live einach gnadenlos Ärsche, im Gegensatz zur Platte wo ich sie immer eher gechilled wahr nahm. V.a. die indischen Samples gingen ab. Die Showeinlage bestand aus den Typen in ziemlich extravaganten Outfits (18. Jhd Uniformen, Tribal Zeugs), Videountermalung aller Songs, Publikum mit Schürfäden einschnüren und Zeitungen zerreißen. Bis zum Schluss viel da auch nicht auf, dass der Zyp der immer nur rumsaß und indische Armschlängelzeugs vorführte, schlicht und ergreifende nicht laufen konnte. Das war jetzt der erfreuliche Teil der Show(ausser natürlich die Tatsache, dass einer von ihnen seine untere Extremität verletzt hat). Sehr negativ war das kuluralistische und antiimperialistische Gehabe. Waren die häufigen Verweise auf das Leid von Aboriginies, Schwarzen und Indios zum Teil noch ok, szenecode und evtl. gerechtfertigt(wer kennt sich hier schon mit der Situation der Aborignies aus), war der direkte Link zur mazedonischen Nationalität(Ethnizität) des einen Bandmembers definitiv zu viel des guten. Neben fett Flagge zeigen gab es auch eine ultrapeinliche Performance,  in der er sich erst rhetorisch darüber beschwert, dass wir ja alle seine Sprache nicht verstehen(sehr eindruckvoll das einem deutschen Publikum auf Englisch vorzuwerfen). Anschließend konnte aber,  anstatt einfach nur ein platter Witz über den eigenen Minderheitenfetisch zu sein, der Verdacht eines ziemlich peinlichen Nationalismus nicht entkräftet werden. Denn aus seiner anschließenden fast dadaistischen  “my government – your government” Dialektik wurde nun wirklich keiner schlau. Dass er sich dann abschließend mit dem Verweis auf den andauernden Kampf seines Volks für ihre Rechte(?) wieder der Musik zu wandte, lieferte leider einen wirklichen schalen Beigeschmack.

Resümee: Wer peinliches Kulturalisten Gehabe wegstecken kann, kriegt eine echte fette Liveshow dargeboten, die ich echt nicht vermisst haben möchte. Aber in deutschen Gefilden gibt es diese Möglichkeit ja nicht mehr sehr oft.

PS: Habe das gefunden (runterscrollen). Gibt ne hohe Wahrscheinlichkeit , dass das der Song war. Bei dem ganzen GriechInnen wandern bei uns ein und BulgarInnen nehmen uns unsere Geschichte weg(genauer gesagt machen sie ein Sandwich draus), wundert es mich schon warum sie keine PLO/Nakba Statements abgeliefert haben. Aber da sie kein deutsch sprechen, bring ich sie wohl auch nicht auf dumme Gedanken.

PPS: Der Typ hat ja ein ganzes Sideproject darüber.  Was hab ich da nur angefangen…

Am Mo ist das Format B: UrUboot wieder augetaucht und schleppt in der Blauen Glocke die Nodzzz an. Ist ebenfalls eins von nur 3 Gigs, wobei HH und München schon waren(up yours Berlin!). Selbige sind im Lofi Punk angesiedelt und somit irgendwo zwischen Wavves, Blank Dogs und the Intelligence. Auch wenn alle drei Bands besser sind:) Aber San Franciso ist nich alle Tage hier.

Gibt hiermit also in Zukunft mehr bei eurem subversiven FN. Wir wohl auch bald ne Emailiste geben für all die RSS Noobs.

Yes, it’s all your favourite 60s classics, right here in one playlist, including…

(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction by Manfred Mann. This is an instrumental cover that alternates seemingly at random between a straight fuzzed-up guitar version and freewheeling hammond-organ-and-tenor-sax led jazz. Absolutely great.

Surfin’ USA by Melt Banana is a noise-rock cover version by the Japanese alt-punk band, who I first discovered through their other Beach Boys cover Well, You’re Welcome (which also included a big chunk of this song). Gavin R, you might like this one…

You Really Got Me by Tom Baker Says… is an electro cover of the Kinks song by these people, who used British Telecom’s automated text-to-speech facility, while Tom Baker was the official voice of it, to record Baker saying all sorts of things. This works surprisingly well.

I Saw Her Standing There by Anthony Newley & The Baker Twins is a lounge cover of the Beatles song. For those of you who don’t know Newley (primarily Americans), Newley was a songwriter (he wrote Goldfinger, Feelin’ Good (the Nina Simone song) and most of the songs for Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory), actor, celebrity husband (married to Joan Collins) and soap star, among many other things, and a huge influence on David Bowie. No, honestly…

(Theme From) The Monkees by The Benzedrine Monks Of Santo Domonica is the Monkees theme as Gregorian chant.

Hello Little Girl by The Stool Pigeons is the first song John Lennon ever wrote, and a hit for the Fourmost, here done by Lisa Jenio’s other band, a Merseybeat covers group.

Mrs Robinson by Frank Sinatra is exactly how you think it sounds, but more so. Especially ‘good’ is the way Sinatra refuses to sing ‘Jesus’ or ‘God’, so it becomes ‘Jilly loves you more than you can know’, before he just starts making up his own words…

You’re No Good by José Feliciano is surprisingly dark and funky for him – it sounds a lot like I Just Popped In To See What Condition My Condition Is In, actually…

Twist And Shout by Ike And Tina Turner is closely based on the Isley Brothers’ version, but sped up, and shows what a great R&B screamer Tina used to be before she started making terrible 80s pop records.

Speaking of terrible 80s pop records… Beach Boys Medley: I Get Around/Good Vibrations/Barbara Ann by Russ Abbot… the title really speaks for itself here, at least for Britons over the age of about 25. For the rest of you… just be glad you don’t understand. Trust me.

Ferry ‘Cross The Mersey by Pat Metheny is a multi-tracked acoustic guitar performance by the noodlesome Kenny G-baiting jazzer, and actually manages to bring out the rather lovely melody in this horribly sentimental song.

Telstar by Duke Ellington exists, and that in itself is enough to make me very happy indeed.

Unchained Melody by The Goons was actually banned for many years – the composer withdrew his permission for the record to be released, and it was withdrawn from sale. Many of the things that George Martin did with the arrangement here would later make their way into Beatles records (compare that piano sound to the end of Tomorrow Never Knows, for example).

Sweets For My Sweet by The Sweet Inspirations is a pretty decent straight soul performance by the greatest female soul backing group of all time (they backed Aretha Franklin and Elvis among others).

And Can’t By Me Love by Peter Sellers is my personal favourite of Sellers’ Beatles covers (again produced by George Martin).

I’m probably the last one to find Young Widows. No worries though, I’m glad I got to listen to them at long last. Can’t get enough of straight rock/basic hardcore with a massive sound. This one is taken from their latest on Temporary Residence called Old Wounds. It came out last year, but is currently back in stock on LP at the labels web site, but in limited copies.The also have two fresh split 7″ out.

/ Mikael Nordlander.

Hey friends,

Ahhhhh Sunday morning. A time to relax and take it easy? No! What are you doing?! Get up and run around! Listen to this amazing song by the awesome Melt Banana and go nuts! It’s like if Sonic Youth was driving in one car and Deerhoof in another car and they were speeding towards each other straight into a head on collision but instead of there being a terrible accident they made this really great band.

Mmmmmmmm… Melt Banana. Has anyone ever made a banana melt? You know, like a tuna melt but with banana instead of tuna. Sounds yummy.

-Rufus Leaking up up and away!

This post is long overdue. A couple of weeks ago I went to see DJ Donna Summer at an event here called Murder Channel Vol. 22. In addition to the DJs, live bands, like local punk/noise stars Melt-Banana, also played. There were mosh pits, and my friend’s bag burst open onto the floor after being smashed into. The moshers politely avoided the little area until we’d picked everything up.

Donna Summer played a super high-speed set that was at times pretty incredible, and just a little too much at times, too. If you took your mind or body off the beat for just a moment, the music sounded deceptively like typical hyper-speed techno, but delving into it was rewarding.

I was working till midnight and so missed some of the other artists I wanted to see, like Himuro Yoshiteru.

The show was at the famous Star Pine’s Cafe in Kichijoji, one of the Tokyo’s most fun and interesting areas, about 20 minutes west of Shinjuku. I wanted to mention this the day after the event but I started writing this post and didn’t remember I’d started it until today.

Andres

Just back from a weekend in the Butlins camp at Minehead for the ATP music festival curated by The Breeders, where a good brilliant time was had by all (ten of us went, in two separate chalets).

We were fortunate to get a chalet that was very close to all the stages – before we’ve been ten minutes or more walk from them, but this time we were less than one minutes’ walk (and given some of the outbreaks of abysmal weather Minehead experienced over the weekend that was a hell of a lucky break!)

We were unfortunate in finding a glitter-covered cowboy hat in the chalet attic that someone had done a poo in!

Holy F***, Yann Tiersen, Deerhunter and Whispertown 2000 were all great live.

Melt Banana, The Bronx and The Throwing Muses were not.

Having spent most of the past 72 hours in various stages of intoxication I am now quite tired, but nevertheless glad to the point of hysteria to see my family once more.

So apparently there’s no Fierce Festival this year. Bah. A very music-centric one this time (even more so than usual), anyway, but there’s still plenty of different things agwaan.

Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. This is just a list of things I found that looked like they might be interesting, so please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.

Friday the 1st of May – IWW West Midlands’ International Workers Day party @ The Wagon & Horses, Digbeth, Birmingham – Not actually on the day in question but nevertheless featuring food and drink and music a-plenty (including Una Corda and D’Corner Bois).

Friday the 1st – Mayday Art Crawl @ sundry locations in Digbeth, Birmingham – Like the above it’s not actually on Mayday, but still: Vivid, Ikon Eastside and Eastside Projects all have new exhibitions, and then there are plenty of good pubs in that neck of the woods for afterwards. Pubs where you can complain about people saying ‘Eastside’ instead of ‘Digbeth’.

Friday the 1st – Paul Murphy @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Doing a solo/smaller version of the “Sir Rhu Barb’s Tale” lark I saw in December. I suspect this way might work a bit better than that did, actually.

Saturday the 2nd till Monday the 4th – ‘The Ultimate Pet Show’ @ The NEC, Marston Green, Birmingham – Not just your ordinary pets, oh no. This is for the ultimate in pets. Also including Britain’s Most Talented Pet (click that – I love the fact that the pictures of dogs playing the piano and mowing the lawn are left to explain themselves, but if you hover your pointer over the picture of a horse on its back you get a caption saying ‘horse rolling’. Just in case, y’know, you thought it had just died or something).

Saturday the 2nd – ‘World 501 Dholis’ @ Centenary Square, Birmingham – An attempt to break the world record for the number of dhol drummers playing in one place at one time, in aid of Macmillan Cancer Support. Wasn’t this meant to happen at Artsfest last year? I don’t know, I get confused.

Sunday the 3rd – Ginger / Laika Dog @ J.B’s, Dudley – That would be Ginger of The Wildhearts fame, and the current band involving Tony Wright of Terrorvision fame. It’s like some 90s Britrock extravaganza.

Sunday the 3rd – Sky Larkin @ The Victoria, Birmingham – An interestingly dynamic indie rock’n’roll band about whom I’ve liked the odds ‘n’ sods I’ve heard for ages but haven’t ever really got around to checking out properly. As is my way. I think they may be headlining an alldayer here, actually, but I’m not entirely sure. Uselessness all-round from your correspondent, then.

Sunday the 3rd – Sway @ The Drum, Newtown, Birmingham – A man who deserves to go down in history for his guest verse on The Mitchell Brothers’ “Harvey Nicks” (watch 2:35 – 3:23 here, really now).

Monday the 4th – Cancer Bats / The Plight / SSS @ The Academy 2, Birmingham – Very metal, although I suspect it may not be metal that is considered True by the purists…

Tuesday the 5th – Saxon / Doro @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – …Unlike this one, which qualifies as proper metal under any and all systems that you might use to count.

Thursday the 7th – Jeffrey Lewis And The Junkyard @ The Academy 2, Birmingham – He was with The Jitters last time I saw him, rather than The Junkyard. These people should make their minds up, I say.

Thursday the 7th – ‘Making Do’ @ The New Art Gallery, Walsall – Great big free extravaganza from Capsule and 7 Inch Cinema, based around themes of post-war austerity. There’s live music from Pram, July Skies and The Winter League; there’s a film programme including the Housewives’ Choice series that I was sad to miss last year; there’s knitting courtesy of Stitches And Hos; there’s loads of other stuff too.

Friday the 8th till Saturday the 23rd – ‘Serious Money’ (Birmingham Rep Theatre Company) @ The Rep, Birmingham – Caryl Churchill spearin’ yuppies. Possibly given newer relevance on top, what with recent financial happenstances ‘n’ such.

Saturday the 9th – Project X Presents “Xhibition! @ a few different venues in Moseley, Birmingham – An assortment of various stuff, as is Project X’s wont, all centered around the big crossroads in Moseley.

Monday the 11th till Saturday the 16th – ‘Dinnerladies’ @ The Belgrade Theatre, Coventry – I really thought the telly programme (the second series in particular) was one of the most wonderful things ever. This stage version stars Tony and Anita from that, too.

Wednesday the 13th – Morrissey @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – Stephen, not Neil.

Thursday the 14th till Saturday the 16th – “Our Country’s Good” (Rage Ensemble) @ The Old Rep Theatre, Birmingham – Australians wouldn’t give Castlemaine XXXX for anything else.

Friday the 15th till Saturday the 30th – “Looking For Yoghurt” (Birmingham Rep Theatre Company, Hanyong Theatre, and a pile of others) @ The Rep Door, Birmingham – A collaboration between British, Japanese and Korean theatrical sorts, this children’s show involves a little ‘un looking for her cat, Yoghurt. That is a magnificent name for a cat.

Friday the 15th till Saturday the 17th – ‘English Originals’ folk festival @ Symphony Hall and Town Hall, Birmingham – The second year running for this TH/SH weekender. Here we have the lovely Rachel Unthank And The Winterset on Friday night, a tribute concert to Nick Drake on the Saturday (involving Vashti Bunyan amongst others), and Seth Lakeman on the Sunday. On top of the big gigs there are also films, talks and free performances (including a set in the ICC on Friday from Mama Matrix, who also appear to be playing at The Wagon & Horses later that night).

Friday the 15th – Melt Banana @ The Rainbow Warehouse, Digbeth, Birmingham – Japanese madness for May #1 (also: this is at The Rainbow Warehouse, not The Med Bar/Factory Club as advertised in some places).

Friday the 15th – Church Of Misery @ Busk, Birmingham – Japanese madness for May #2/Sabbath worship for May #1.

Friday the 15th – Cursive @ The Hare And Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – I think this is beginning to take the Michael a bit, with so many worthwhile gigs on the same night. Overwrought but witty American indie, anyway.

Saturday the 16th – Chris Addison @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – Ooh, I’m looking forward to seeing ‘In The Loop’. I really do love ‘The Thick Of It’.

Saturday the 16th – “Caliban’s Island” (Somesuch Theatre) @ The Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham – What happened after ‘The Tempest’, when they’d all buggered off and left Caliban on his own.

Sunday the 17th – Witchcraft @ The Rainbow, Digbeth, Birmingham – Sabbath worship for May #2.

Monday the 18th – Mark Thomas @ The Warwick Arts Centre, Coventry – And you can submit your own policies for the “People’s Manifesto” he’s compiling. Compulsory wearing of wigs on Wednesdays it is, then.

Tuesday the 19th – Maximo Park @ The Academy, Birmingham – I described the first song I heard by them (courtesy of Paul Greyshades) as sounding like ‘a Sparks/Therapy? collaboration voiced by a cross between Ian Curtis and Spuggy from “Byker Grove”’, and if that doesn’t sound enticing to you then I don’t know what will.

Wednesday the 20th – The Autumn Store @ The Victoria, Birmingham – Dance the lindy-hop to some indie-pop.

Thursday the 21st till Saturday the 23rd – “Hit The Baby, Natasha!” (Happiness Patrol) @ The Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham – A new variation on Chekhov’s “Three Sisters”, with a genuinely fantastic name.

Thursday the 21st – ‘Sublime Frequencies’ tour @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – With Omar Souleyman from Syria and Group Doueh from Western Sahara.

Friday the 22nd – Great Lake Swimmers @ The Glee Club, Birmingham – Lovely mellow Canadian folk-rock. They sound like Crosby Stills & Nash hugging their duvets and yawning melodically.

Friday the 22nd – Subhumans @ The Wagon & Horses, Digbeth, Birmingham – One of the best punk bands ever, kiddo. Apparently this do is a benefit for the Faslane Peace Camp.

Saturday the 23rd and Sunday the 24th – Birmingham Pride 2009 @ Various places in Birmingham city centre – Apparently the largest two-day LGBT event in the UK (any jokes I made here about size being important would be cheap and unnecessary). There’s lots of stuff happening and various stages. The website doesn’t seem to want to say who will be performing on them, but they’ll be there.

Saturday the 23rd – “A Night Of Aural Carnage” (Capsule) @ Vivid, Digbeth, Birmingham – Noise, noise, lots of noise. Prurient are headlining, and Beestung Lips are also on the bill (seeming a bit out of place, unless I’ve massively misjudged the nature of the rest of it).

Saturday the 23rd – Beyonce @ The NIA, Birmingham – Buuuuuuur. Buh buh buh buh buh buuuuuuuuur. Buh buh buh buh buh… ahem. Sorry. Just got the urge to do the horn bit from ‘Crazy In Love’.

Sunday the 24th – Terror @ Busk, Birmingham – Metallic hardcore band more widely remembered for the wit and wisdom of their singer, Scott Vogel.

Sunday the 24th – Hypnotic Brass Ensemble @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Hip hop-influenced brass band aceness. The sad thing (and not to take anything away from Hypnotic) is that finding out about this made me wonder when The Youngblood Brass Band were coming around again, and upon inspection it looks like they’re touring in May but not doing any gigs anywhere near here. Bah.

Tuesday the 26th – Combichrist @ The Robin 2, Bilston – Mentioned mostly due to how weird it looks to see an EBM/industrial/goth-techno/whateverhaveyou band alongside all the tribute acts and trad blues-rockers on the coupon at The Robin. I just have a feeling it’ll turn out hilarious, although I’m not sure why.

Wednesday the 27th & Sunday the 31st – Mahler’s 2nd (CBSO) @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – My favourite symphony, as Mahler would no doubt have been gratified to know.

Friday the 29th and Saturday the 30th – “The Iron Eyelashes” (Imaginary Forces Theatre) @ The Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham – Does your man there pick family in East Berlin, or freedom in the West?

Friday the 29th till Sunday the 31st – “Bach – A Beautiful Mind” @ Town Hall and Symphony Hall, Birmingham – A mini-festival type thing. I’ve mentioned this on here before, but I love Douglas Adams’ quote on J.S. Bach – “When I hear Beethoven I understand what it was like to be Beethoven. When I hear Mozart I understand what it is to be human. When I hear Bach I understand the universe.”

Saturday the 30th and Sunday the 31st – Birmingham “Rat Race” @ various places in Brum but starting in Centenary square, I think – Race about the place in what is apparently “a multi-disciplined challenge of navigation, endurance, skills and guts” requiring participants to “run, climb, mountain bike, kayak, abseil and navigate”. Best of all, it’s set against a “70s skyline”.

Saturday the 30th – The Mighty Diamonds @ The Drum, Newtown, Birmingham – Y’know, the ones that can pronounce ‘Kouchie’.

Sunday the 31st – Mark Steel @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – Ah, Mark Steel. One of the highlights of last year was hearing a professional comedian describe my beau as “the most pedantic woman in the Midlands”.

Sunday the 31st – Chrome Hoof @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Capsule finish off a busy five-gig month by hosting the band who really must be the world’s greatest tinfoil-wearing disco-krautrock-metal group, and I don’t throw that sort of praise around lightly. (EDIT: Cancelled~! Boooooo. Still, though, there is a talk from Martin Atkins of Public Image Limited at the H&H that night. It’s free, too).

I can’t believe I have yet to catch this band…. Granted, Exusamwa have only had three public shows, but still… they’ve got members of Fat Day, Life Partners, and the owner of Weirdo Records! And they’re as secretive as none other, nothing but a few online pics to do justice (that’s right – not even a myspace page to speak of).

Luckily, Dischord and Dynne posted this mp3 of their recent on-air gig at 95.3FM. Needless to say, it’s something else, a nice little mix of acoustic strumming, experimental aural noise, and Melt-Banana-esq juxtapositions of post-hardcore noise and bursts of sweet pop… a nice mix from a lot of bland emo-pop of today.

I’ll stand on watch for the band’s next gig… I suggest for others to do the same!

Mi Ami Water Sports:

Sloppy fun noise rock with a singer who squawks like a neurotic bird. Similar to Melt Banana, but with more traditional instrumentation.

Rating: 11/15 undanceable tracks