Okay, I admit it. I’ve horribly neglected my blog because I haven’t been reading as much. A friend of mine,

I own a first edition.

who shall remain nameless, has been monopolizing all my reading time… The only book I am reading at the moment is The Stand: Complete and Uncut Edition by Stephen King. It’s been a favorite for over 10 years now and I’ve read it so, so many times that I can really just pick out my favorite parts in the book as I read it, and skim through the rest.

The Stand is Stephen King’s masterpiece and since I don’t feel that I could do it justice in a review, I will just say that it is not only his best book, but easily one of the best that I’ve ever read.

I am determined to pick it up and have more titles to review soon.

My recommendation for the week is the book Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane.

Dennis Lehane writes Mystic River and Gone, Baby, Gone, among several others. This story starts out on a ferry headed toward Shutter Island. The two men that are traveling on the ferry are detectives and brand new partners who seem to have really hit it off. These detectives have their own pasts to contend with and they are currently investigating some strange happenings in the foremost mental institution in the country, that is located on Shutter Island. The mental institution was converted from military barracks long ago and what was rumored to be a secret ops location. The doctors there have a unique style of dealing with their criminally insane, and they house only the world’s most dangerous criminals. The book is exciting and filled with unpredictable plot twists! I highly recommend it to anyone.

This is now being made into a movie by Martin Scorcese.

Sometimes I think that I’m insane.  At work, I tend to have flashes of insanity at least once a day.  Insanity in our lives can stem from a lot of things (kids, work, money, alcohol, traffic, etc.).  And I don’t think we need to pay a therapist $100.00 an hour to tell us that we are in fact, insane. 

I’m offering this list of “Ways to Be Insane” or at least “Things to do to make people think you’re insane.”  I’m bogged down with these job applications and today I actually have a sort of interview.  I’m calling it a pre-interview interview.  So I spent most of last night researching the organization and practicing my spiel about my level of awesomeness.  I’m nervous but confident.  I’m so ready for a challenging job.  I will try to be normal and not talk about things like, Penis Hats, Breastfeeding, my fur children, and Bingo.  Honestly, in real life-I think that I come off as a rather normal person.  I think. 

DO SOMETHING INSANE TODAY!

19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

*I realize that random words are capitilized.  That in and of itself is a little insane.*

1.   At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.   See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom.   Don’t Disguise Your Voice.

3.  Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4.   Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it ‘In’.

5.   Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks  Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.   In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ‘ For Smuggling Diamonds’.

7.   Finish All Your sentences with ‘In Accordance With The Prophecy’.

8.   Don’t use any punct u ation

9.  As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10.  Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.  Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is ‘To Go’.

12.  Sing Along At The Opera.

13.   Go To A Poetry Recital.   Ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

14.   Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15.  Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You’re Not In the Mood.

16.   Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17.   When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream ‘I Won!  I Won!’

18.   When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling ‘Run For Your Lives!   They’re Loose!’

19.  Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ‘Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.’

My faves are:  #2, 9, and 10. 

Thank you T for passing this list on to me.  Are you trying to say something?  Like I need to be more insane? 

I can do that. 

J