"What on earth did I sign up for?": A Mud Run Race Report

denise:) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 18:38:52 +0000

6am Sunday morning. My sister and I are leaving for the 2.5 hour drive to Granite Bay, CA. We’re dressed in black tank tops, black capris, old running shoes and new black tutus. Hair is contained to braids and a black bandanna. We’re channeling our inner Commando Sniper but adding a dash of frivolity. Hopefully we’re conveying the message that we’re going to have fun and not take this endeavor too seriously, because we could certainly fail miserably.

6am – “Woo hoo. Coffee. Stat.” says Debbie. “Agreed!” I say- we’re both pumped up and excited to go- as much as we can be at 6am on a Sunday.

7am – “Are we there yet??”

8am – “Omigod, what are we doing?!” ”I don’t know. I’m beginning to get nervous. I can’t back out; Linda will never let me hear the end of it!” I replied.

9am – We are stalling in the bathroom at the Shell station five miles away from Folsom Lake in Granite Bay.

9:20 – We’re parking. There are lots of people in costume, and many girls in tutus. Whew! Keith was wrong – tutus are fine. We have arrived at the

9:45 – We’ve checked in, affixed our bibs, taken our “before” shots and we’re watching the finish line mud pit. The 5k runners are coming in. They look EXHAUSTED. Our stomachs are in knots. We run into my friend Linda, whom I talked into this race and she then talked her husband and another couple into the race. We’re both looking at each other like “Oh Shit!” She’s nervous. Her girlfriend is nervous. The men are “cool with it”. Whatever.

We’re in the last 10k wave- we all reaffirm this is just to “have fun” and there’s no pressure to break our 10k time or even do all the obstacles. We’ve already seen the “Slippery Wall” and that is causing a swarm of butterflies- well perhaps bumble bees, in my stomach.

10:30am- We’re next to go- ”Ohmigod! We’re gonna die”“No! We’re Commando Snipers in Tutus – we’re Kick Ass!”

The race starts and we’re off. The course starts out on sand and trails and winds around to the edge of the lake.

photos from http://www.downanddirtymudrun.com

1^stObstacle: Marine Hurdles. A quick jog into thigh-high water and back up onto the sandy path. Then we have the Marine Hurdles. Three 5’ tall beams we need to hurl ourselves over. Ya right. We climb over. More running and now we’re on a foot trail winding up a hill with several switchbacks. We have to walk. My sister hasn’t run since the Wine Country Half Marathon exactly one year ago. The weather is warm and she’s not into running uphill.

We come up to another mini-obstacle. This is the “Spider web”; a series of bungee cords stretched across poles that we have to climb through. Simple. It would have been more challenging if they were real spider webs (ick). Then we start running downhill.

2^nd Obstacle: Tunnels. We felt like pipe cleaners going through. Our tutus were the same diameter. The capris came in handy here because there is gravel and we have tender knees.

3^rd Obstacle: Haybales. Other than being advised we need to slide down on our rear-ends and having a bunch of straw stuck to our bums, this was easy. The torture of the Haybales is the constant plucking of straw from your rear for the rest of the course.

More running along footpaths in the park surrounding the lake until the next mini obstacle – the Balance Beam. Child’s play. We barely miss a beat. More running and we’re now on the 5k course – the volunteer at this location says we’re half way there. Already?!

4^th Obstacle: The 4’ Wall. I’m running already and Debbie is behind me. I leap and swing my leg over and I’m clear. I finish with a “plie” as I come down then see that there are two cops sitting in the shade watching the runners. They clap! Um, Awkward! Deb copies my move and makes her way over the obstacle on the first try. It is funny to see the tutus sticking straight up when our ungraceful bodies move over and under things. They tease us about our tutus and then say we have 5 more miles… HAHA. Funny guys.

We wind our ways through the parking lot and see the finish line and expo- WOW! This course is short! We’re almost done! Then we take a right instead of a left and suddenly it’s clear, we’re not done. We’re going to another hill climb on trails that wind around and the finish line disappears. We can’t even hear the music anymore. After a steep climb we come to the

Photo from http://www.downanddirtymudrun.com

5^th Obstacle: The Ladder Wall. Other than feeling a little vertigo at the top as you’re climbing over, it’s not hard.

More running with steep climbs and fast downhills. After a mile or so of this, we pop back out into the beach and arrive at

6^th Obstacle: Mini-MudPit. Finally- we could use some cooling off! We get on our knees and climb the mud berm and slide into the muddy water. It’s nice and cool but not cold. My head goes in unexpectedly and I have a moment of panic breathing before I scoot on my elbows across the pit. A drill sergeant is scooping mud with a shovel and tossing it at us from the sidelines. A plop lands on my head. Deb is out fast and watches me as I climb out, tutu dripping. She told me I looked funny. “Blllpphhhh”.

We run across the dried out lake bed toward the last mile or so of the race. We are dripping mud and trying to clean off our sunglasses with muddy hands and muddy shirts. It’s futile. Finally we get to the event grounds where the last of the obstacles, including that Slippery Wall, are located. We arrive at the

photo from http://www.downanddirtymudrun.com

7^th Obstacle: The 12’ Climbing Wall. This one worried me because there are no belayers. But it was actually quite easy and I was up and over before I even realized it. Debbie had a bit of vertigo, the heat and running was getting to her. She was rewarded by the next

8^th Obstacle: 2^nd Water Jog into the lake. She dunked herself. Most everyone around us dunked themselves. I didn’t want to ruin my muddied face and hair and stayed upright.

Squishing shoes and more running up a little incline to the fearsome Slippery Wall.

photo from http://www.downanddirtymudrun.com

9^th Obstacle: The Blasted Slippery Mountain This monster is an 8’ wall on an incline covered in shampoo and you use knotted ropes to climb up. You cannot use your feet or knees. ONLY your arms can pull you up. The military gals and volunteers pitted Debbie and me against each other, “She’s gaining on you, hurry up!” “Don’t let her win!” I got up two arm pulls before I begged for mercy. A volunteer pulled me up just barely in reach and told me to swing my leg over. UGH. This one was hard.

Finally, the last obstacle presents itself.

10^th Obstacle: The Big Mud Pitt. We slide in and make our way with our elbows and toes while a fountain of muddy water rains down on us. As we climb out, Black Eyed Peas “The Time (Dirty Bit)” is playing and we grab hands and shake our tutus down the finish corral. I hope the photographer got us. Each racer gets a “Dog Tag” finishers medal on a ball chain. Super cool!

Fear conquered, feeling cocky!

For your listening pleasure: Black Eyed Peas “The Time (Dirty Bit)”

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"What on earth did I sign up for?": A Mud Run Race Report