I fink da Beanbag chair is sick. It just throwed up eberywhere. Wierd
huh?

ai regwet it

Picture by: holly Caption by: larscog via Loldog Builder

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I think the day after Christmas has to win the prize on this one. Even the normally “neat” areas of our house are just a crazed jumble of boxes, presents, wrapping paper, STUFF! There is stuff everywhere. I’ve finally hit my low point (or high point, of piles!) and am SO READY to tackle this. And even though we had one of the nicest Christmases ever, I am so relieved it is over and I can just DEAL. I am thrilled that my schedule is pretty empty this coming week, and we have no plans to travel, so I am just going to spend it trying to find my way out of these piles.

I almost had some mini (and maxi) meltdowns this past week. The things I couldn’t find (which I’m updating on Twitter) really threatened to send me into a very dark spirally self-loathing place. STILL can’t find my Mastercard, but I was reluctant to cancel it because 1) I know it’s LOST and not stolen, 2) I really needed it for online shopping for the holidays. But I may have to break down.

Lost my work keys. This is so bad.  I have a bright orange lanyard thing (SO I WOULDN’T LOSE IT) which has keys to two separate work sites. It is a huge, huge deal to obtain these keys (it took MONTHS) and if  I lost them it will be a very very very bad thing. I HAVE TO FIND THEM.

Lost my ankle brace, so had to do stupid modified workout. Happily, it showed up yesterday, in the guest room.

I’m actually pretty proud that I think I did not “lose” any Christmas gifts this year.  This happens to me every year: I buy stuff, then “hide” it but I hide it so well from myself, I do not find it in time for Christmas. I think I managed to give all my gifts this year! But how sad is it that this is like some big victory.

My declutter partner is returning midweek. I cannot wait for her to get back. I’m desperate, in fact. And I’m getting as much of a head start as I can before she arrives. For one thing, I have to do my homework from last week.

How do the rest of you deal with post-Christmas clutter? Do you have a method? A plan? Tell me, please!!

Holiday Lighting Fail

Submitted by Ruben R

MERRY XMAS EVERYONE!!!! how’s everyone’s xmas so far? ive just been cleaning my room etc… already had the big family dinner last night… realised how messy my room has become due to xmas… been shopping and just placing everything onto my desk… gosh…

Xmas Mess

I can. I can do it all. Or can I? I am working on my to-do list, checking things off and checking them twice. Kinda like Santa Claus. Except that fat bastard only has to run all over the world for one night, whereas I do it on a daily basis.

Figures.

Yes, I said that “F” word. Sorry. I don’t like the”F” word, but in this case, it fits. He’s the jolly old soul who’s belly is like a bowl full of jelly. Whatever, he’s gorged on cookies and milk and walks around like a hippo on two legs. Yet it’s ok. He’s Santa.

Let me tell you something, look at wealthy men built the same way and you will see an extraordinarily hot woman clinging to his arm. Let me tell you something else, it’s not because she dreams of climbing on top of him and screaming “let me get up you, you pot-bellied stallion, and ride!

Umm…nope.

It’s your green mister, your jack, your big hefty wallet and that fantastic pre-nup you gave her.

We are supposed to do it all,  but let me tell you something, I am tired of doing it all. I work, I volunteer, I am the secretary of the PTA. Yet, it’s not enough in most peoples eyes.If I compared myself to other mommy’s, I would be an A++ #1 slack ass.

My friends and I call those Moms “Super Mom “insert name”. Seriously. Do these women with the perfect hair, immaculate make-up, ultra fit body, I can do it all and will do it all and put you to shame attitude, live on nothing but air and ritalin?  Tell me your secrets. I beg you.

Because we have been led to believe we can do it all, but only if we keep doing everything else.

Then the criticism kicks in.

If I swear, if I say I have had a hell of day and need a drink. People are like “you’re just gonna get drunk” and then you are branded a drunk. Even if the bottle of vodka in my freezer has been in there for six months and is more than half full!  Lord help if you mention that you are horny and wanna get laid. That just doesn’t work for that June Cleaver/Betty Crocker appearance we are supposed to exude.

So, I shall haul my ass back to the kitchen to make more Christmas goodies. Something I actually enjoy, but believe me I am not juggling this task with 50 others. It’s Christmas, I am taking it easy…and fixing up a nice goodie plate for Santa Claus.

Maybe he will bring me something nice.

My husband and Artie decided this morning that things have gone too far. More than two days after the snow stopped falling, the side streets are still a mess and sidewalks still haven’t been shovelled. I have nothing to say about the side streets (can you really call S and T streets in Dupont “side streets” anyway) other than, DC sometimes rots.

As for sidewalks, that’s harder to take. I mean you buy a house and have what, four or five feet to shovel out front? It seems like an annoying but manageable task. Unfortunately, a lot of homeowners seem to disagree, as I almost fell on my face numerous times on my walk home from Safeway last night.

So, back to MJD and Artie. They declared this morning, that if you haven’t cleaned your sidewalk, dog owners should not have to pick up dog poop outside your house.

Fair deal, right?! Check out the streets in your neighborhood. I don’t think that’s a scrooge move. It’s a holiday gift in return!

I’m not talking about architecture and domination. 

I’m talking about order and good habits. 

I’ve always viewed myself as being both unstructured and undisciplined.  Kind of a free-flowing ‘gal’.  (Ugh, I hate that word ‘gal’.)  On my way to work this morning, I decided I needed to do a little self-examination to see if this is indeed true – am I more like a flapping flamingo than a steady eagle? 

Let’s take a peek…

I am a confirmed pig.  Of course, I mean pig in the nicest possible way.  I’ve always been quite fond of pigs, and have, in fact, been experiencing a mild yearning for a teacup piglet. 

But back to the point.  I’ve never been what you could call ‘tidy’.  Our house growing up was tidy enough, but cluttered, as my Dad was a saver – one of those people who kept almost everything, because you never knew when it would come in handy.  He stopped short of being a hoarder, but not by much.  I think that was a common characteristic of depression-era children.  I inherited the trait.  E-Bro, on the other hand, inherited my Mom’s less-is-more attitude.  (This woman gave away her wedding dress, for gods sake.)  The clutter in our childhood home made him nuts.  MY room was always a disaster area. 

My Mom eventually stopped hounding me about it, and just kept my door closed.  I’ll admit to some slight embarrassment when our house was burglarized when we were on vacation one year, and it was difficult to tell that they had ransacked my room. 

During college, I lived one summer with a friend who defined himself as a “surface dweller”.  Everything he needed was on the surface, not hidden away in a drawer somewhere.  I was wonderfully comfortable with this approach. 

Once I moved out on my own, things didn’t change.  My little studios would just morph from clean to ground zero over the course of a month.  One day, about once a month, I would walk in my door and see that it was a disaster.  Then I would clean it up.  And become oblivious again, until the next time.

Pat was never the neatest guy, but he had a lot of anal-retentive in him, and so my slob-esque qualities were a source of constant friction between us.

I just have a “what’s next” attitude towards being tidy, which translates to ‘drop the towel and it is gone from my consciousness.’   I don’t like this attitude.  I’ve resolved to change it many times.  I always feel better when my house is clean and tidy and I have less stuff.  But somehow, my resolutions never stick.  Why?  WHY??

Since moving out of Pat’s house, I am definitely better at getting rid of things, but still I can feel the clutter starting to rebuild.  I am NOT powerless to change it.  But somehow it’s not at the forefront of my consciousness.  Mr. GF expressed an attitude the other day that I yearned for.  He said he liked taking care of his things.  That’s exactly what I fuss at Kelsea about, as she seems to display my attitude of  ‘a dropped towel immediately passes into another dimension,’ although fortunately, not my attitude towards saving things. 

I want her to take care of her things.  So why don’t I take care of my own?  Setting that example is the best way to get her to follow it.  And I WANT to be like that.  There’s a sense of peace that comes from lack of clutter and from order, and a positive sense of caretaking that comes from taking care of your things.  As if the things themselves appreciate it.

A larger issue is that this undisciplined attitude spills over into taking care of myself.  I don’t get enough sleep.  I don’t eat right.  I set good exercise goals, but then let them go.  And that’s not what I want to do.  I want my 27-year old body back!  Perhaps that’s unrealistic, but hey, I’m not asking for my 21-year old body back, and I’d settle for my 30-year old body.  But it’s not going to happen by thinking real hard, now is it? 

I feel decidedly better when I take care of myself.  There have been lots of excuses for slacking off – depression, losses, the divorce, the lumps, too much work.   There’s ALWAYS some excuse.  Which means that there should be NO excuse – other than projectile vomiting, because no one really wants that in the weight room.  What is it in me that keeps me from pursuing what I want?  Is it inherent laziness?  I’ve always worked, and have never considered myself to be lazy, but perhaps I am wrong.  Is it fear of success?  Meh.  Don’t think so.  Is it the need for immediate gratification?  Possibly – I may have been turned towards that attitude by our society’s constant emphasis on immediacy.

Having a partner in these kind of things helps.  I have always done better with a workout partner.  I always wanted Pat to help me with housecleaning (didn’t happen).  And now that I am on my own, it gets harder to do it all alone with each passing year.  Kathy and I have talked about walking together when she gets back after the first of the year.  But here’s the problem with that…

I just found out that my job officially ends on February 28th.  Lack of time will no longer be an excuse.  It will be time to stretch my flamingo wings, to see if I can grow pinker and stronger and more orderly, in order to make my life move forward, in order to not just stand in a marsh on one leg, head tucked beneath my wing.

It will be nothing if not interesting.

I got in trouble for my last post. My dad walked behind the computer, and, instead of being a parent, he asked my mother to address it with me.

I explained my situation and we’re all good. My mom did say my language makes me sound like a cheap ho, however, and I would concur. Except today kind of called for it.

Since the minute I got online this morning (before eight), I knew it would be a long day. I could say I’m not so angry now, but that would be a lie. I’m still really, really furious.

But in all honesty, it’s not worth my time. It’s not worth my energy to be angry.

And besides, I have discovered that I’m not a complete mess when it comes to finding a cute boy. The one I wanted, I got. It turns out he just needed a little more time to think than most people.

Yellow and purple do go together, after all.

I was just sat here thinking about this blog. Nothing bad has happened today. Does that really mean I can’t post here? Let’s be positive for once!

Yesterday I wrote Kieran a letter. I’d woke up in the morning and the question “Why is he going after other girls so quickly?” popped into my head. Of course this nagged at me all day and my temptation got the better of me. He’s told me about this new girl he’s met etc. It pretty much looks like they’re going to be together. (Wow, and I felt very little typing that. Go me for not getting upset!) Anyways, I think that’s why the question came into my head the next day.

I pleaded for an argument not to happen, but we had one anyway (this is over msn). Eventually he signed out. Normally I would of instantly grabbed the phone and texted or rang until I got through, pleading for him to not ignore me. I didn’t. Ed taught me that if I do that I’m going to learn to do it with everyone. If I back down and beg it’ll just make me worse emotionally in the long run. So I left it, and let Kieran do his own thing. And y’know what? About 10 minutes later, he came back online, and we were able to speak calmly again. Fantastic!

There wasn’t too much of a straight answer, but it did comfort and settle me. I’ve gone back onto Facebook, after not being able to bare seeing Kieran on it. I don’t want to block him, but I can’t stop visiting his page. So, I’ve asked for him to just let me know when he’s not single, so I can prepare myself and deal with it. Then I won’t have to visit his page wondering “Will it be today?” because I know he’ll let me know. I’m glad he’s being this good about it. The situation that started this all off was ugly, and he did cause it, but the anger has diminished for now, and he’s at least trying and not being a fool about it. I’m grateful that this isn’t one huge hateful mess, and that we’re not going at each other’s throats.

I guess the main thing that comforted me is that he said he does still miss me, but he knows it wouldn’t have worked if we’d stayed together. I’m glad he hasn’t forgotten what we had. Perhaps that was all I needed to hear, to put me back into a better mood. Let’s hope now I can start pushing forward with my life.

I started the tidying of my room today. I’ll post pictures when I get the chance. Most people say “Oh, mine’s proberbly just as bad”, and then change their mind when they see mine! As a friend says:  “Messy bed, messy head!” Hopefully when it’s tidy I’ll finally have my own space where I can just chill out and clear my head. Surely then, that will help me feel more focused on tasks ahead, and to get my life back on track.

Is life starting to get just that tiny fraction better? I sure hope so.

M – It seemed to stay November for an extremely long time, December quietly slid in, and it is already the 19th. Whew. It has only been a few weeks (okay, probably a month)  since she started hanging on to stuff in an upright position, and she is already ‘walking’ around our place while holding anything she finds in both her hands (which she then tries to give to anyone nearby.) Just yesterday in fact, I watched her balancing herself on one foot without falling. Of course, when she really needs to move, she still drops to the floor and crawls like a speed demon. She has now reached the next higher shelves – forcing us to push everything up higher. I would like to say the rearrangement created a ’spring cleaning’ effect, but now everything just seems messier and more cramped. The picture is off her trying to yank the headwear off. While it doesn’t relate to the post, it was a difficult to take that picture and so we decided to put it on to justify the efforts.

Are you sure that you're not laughing at me? I look cool.

I am not my happygolucky self.
Well, it’s really not hard to guess why.
I’ve left home for home. But this place feels unfamiliar.

This box.

I am tired. I am a mess.
I feel out of control when I have no control.
I am done.

Oh dear, this place is a mess. I’m ashamed, really. Just another teenager left home alone who doesn’t tidy up behind herself and forgets to do chores because she’s busy watching old episodes of Fringe. I bloody love Fringe.

My mother is in hospital again, she’s just had her ovaries taken out and should be home tomorrow. Gran’s been offering to come up and stay, but there’s no way I’m letting her see my room. The shambles that it is. I’ll get the place tidied before mum gets back tomorrow. At least, I’ll think about it. It’s the thought that counts.

The dog’s not eating anything. It’s scary.

Also, how many days until Christmas day now? Eight? Nine? SIX?! I still haven’t bought any presents, and forget about your cards. I’ve been meaning to, but with mum in hospital it just hasn’t happened. The three younger brothers are semi-behaving, which is progress. “You’re not our mum.” is the most commonly used phrase in our house at the moment. No surprise there.

I should get a poem up on here soon, I just have to write one that I like first. Tougher than you think.

I wake up with two major thoughts in my head: first, if my hair will have pretty locks after i take a shower, and, second, this Saturday is OFFICIALLY a part of a loong holiday vacation that will end next year. *hubba hubba

Now to make my last schoolday of 2009 a bit memorable (maybe in the future some of my classmates will read this one) let me tell you the stuff that happened.

It rained. And we only have until one pm to finish the “party”. Ven and i appeared at the same time, which was an hour and a half late *lol. However, it wasn’t a loss, because the party began thirty minutes after our arrival. According to my mates, the juniors are already partying like crazy while they were staring at thin air because the sound syst wasn’t even there. But the minute i arrived, i can tell it was pretty-everybody looked awesome with their clothes, rock music filled the air and the little decors and “red carpet” turned out to be cool. So after some picture moments and practically doing nothing (well some were planning if the Amazing Race game will push through) they set the foods we’ve donated in the long table. Buffet style, it was hard to push myself into the crowd, nothing different from the crowded cafeteria. Don’t worry, i’m used to it. Any filipino buffet is like that anyway. So i took my seat and silently ate, talkin with kristine every bit and now, when suddenly, i saw someone smudging cake frosting on the cheeks of people who were standing. Gladly i was sitting. Then after a while, the cheek smudging became hardcore and they were chasing one another in front of our hall (and also soaking themselves in the light rain) with cake frosting in the hair, whole face, clothes. I got one in my cheek but didn’t chase anyone. I was just laughing at them. Then someone took a bottle of soda, placed the thumb on the mouth of it, shook it hard, then made the soda spill out as if the bottle’s a hose of soda and we’re garden vegetables. In an insant, the room was a total mess. /next/

This post is the equivalent of standing and being photographed in my underwear before embarking on a weight loss journey. It is humiliating. It is disgusting. But somehow, I feel it is necessary.  It is like those 400+pound people standing on the scale on Biggest Loser. The only way they can survive such exposure is the HOPE that things will change, and they will be different. That is my hope as well.

Welcome to my house.

That’s what my life is. One big ball of crazy. I haven’t started walking around with my hair looking like Gene Wilder’s, but if I add more thing to my plate, that’s what is going to happen.

When did life become so fucking hectic?

Yes, I said the “F” word. I have been known to swear like a sailor. Actually, more like been known to make them blush.  But, I digress.

Who in the hell said that we have to do it all?  I mean, we do it all in most cases. Housework, laundry, yard work, cook meals, shop for groceries, take care of the kids, PTA, go to soccer games and when we get a break in our “easy life” gussy up like a French Whore and screw like a nymphomaniac sex machine who is multi-orgasmic and wants as little foreplay as possible. Oh and then there are the jobs that many of us hold.

Seriously?

I think Betty Friedan said what I am trying to say best:

If divorce has increased by one thousand percent, don’t blame the women’s movement. Blame the obsolete sex roles on which our marriages were based.

speech, New York City, January 20, 1974

Seriously though. We do it to ourselves. We want to over compete with the next woman. It’s like if we don’t do enough, we will not measure up in some sick way and that measuring up to others is essential to our being
Whatever.

I say screw those people.  Be yourself, dammit.

Well, you know that implied promise I made to increase posting frequency…?  It kinda got shot to hell after my supposed “minor sniffly headcold” turned into a vortex of suffering.  My entire head kept feeling stuffier and stuffier, and then on Monday afternoon of last week, I noticed my voice getting a little hoarse.  By Tuesday morning, my voice was COMPLETELY gone.  I’ve never had such extreme laryngitis before, and it lasted for a full 4 days before even getting partial voice control back.  Along with the laryngitis fun and games, was a profound sinus infection, fever, unholy snot production, severe fatigue, and general crankiness.  All in all, I’ve been a fabulous one-person party for the last week.  I was prescribed antibiotics on Thursday, which have slowly started me back on the path of wellness, but I continue to worship at the altar of Mucinex and Puffs, with some random coughing thrown in for good measure today.

It was a very weird, cognitively dissonant, out-of-touch-with-reality kind of week.  I spent a great deal of time cocooned in FF’s Magic Blanket (more on this in another post) sleeping, which of course has driven the evil genius a little nuts, but overall she has been very sweet and caring. 

Anywho, ’tis the season and all that jazz.  Unfortunately it seems as though FF has started on the path of sickness himself today.  We shall see.  Would be nice to just be well and get caught up at work and housework, and spend a little time shopping and getting ready for Christmas. 

Since we are actually celebrating at home this year, and it is our first year in the new house, and because K is really into the excitement of it all, we* decided to put a little extra effort into decorating this year.  Now, some of you may know that FF is a bit of a “Bah-Humbug” sort of man, but he patiently & valiantly helps me with whatever crazy complicated holiday thing I cook up. He’s such a good hubby.

So the decorating mania actually started the weekend after Thanksgiving with Uncle Bubba’s helping us to get the exterior lights up:

Uncle Bubba complained EXTENSIVELY about this garland over the garage

A blurry night shot of the overall exterior

Old timey lights + icicle combo around the porch

Uber Festive Front Door

So then later in the week we started on the interior stuff, which ended up getting postponed due to a) broken tree lights b) sickness c) stupid stores not carrying enough stupid lights, d) lack of motivation.  In the interim, we did a family gingerbread house project, which I think turned out pretty spiffy:

The front (and the reclining snow-people on the left)

Back view

Close up view: GUMDROP TOILET PLUNGER!

And fortunately, the stupid, broken, annoying, fake, 4-foot tree is finally now up and decorated.  So that the cats can immediately begin plotting how best to destroy it, of course:

Look mom, Santa brought me some boxes to unpack and a BAD CAT!

The pretty view

Pretty much, the only other efforts made were to hang up the stockings and my special Storyteller doll wreath, which I inherited from my Grandma.  Oh, and a random extra string of lights and garland over the back door:

RANDOM DECORATING: should be an olympic sport

Stockings and wreath

Storyteller close-up

He fell off the wreath...I think he is drunk!

So there you have it…full photographic disclosure of all external evidence of my tenuous holiday spirit.  Now, if only I had a shop full of elves to finish unpacking, clean the house, make some money, do the shopping, wrap all the tasteful/thoughtful gifts, and cook Christmas dinner.

*we = this actually means it was solely my idea and then I mercilessly wrangled FF into helping.

Life with kids isn’t always a  picnic in the park.  But, I still love them unconditionally.

For the past week I’ve been crocheting Christmas bonnet wall ornaments.  I give them out for Christmas presents to family and friends because money is very tight right now.  It take me six hours to crochet each bonnet, not including the starching, drying, and decorating time.  It takes less than a minute to starch them but, the drying time exceeds 8 hours .  Decorating them takes about 15 minutes.  So, with that being said, it takes over fourteen hours for the finished project.

I have produced 10 bonnets of all different colors.  I was so proud of myself for getting them done in plenty of time for Christmas.  Dealing with the pain that Fibromyalgia entails, it was a feat in itself.  However, I endured the pain and fatigue just to make sure that there were enough gifts for everyone on my list.
This afternoon, after finishing my last bonnet and placing it on the starching board to dry, I retired to my bed for a nice long nap.  While images of smiling faces receiving my gifts danced through my head, I was quite unaware of what was going on in the living room.  To my despair, my two sons were wrestling and knocked over a cup of coffee that I had abandoned earlier.  When I opened my bedroom door, I almost cried.  Coffee was splashed all over my Christmas bonnets, table, chairs, floor, and the boys.
Once I had the mess cleaned up, I took inventory of what was salvageable.  I had only saved four ornaments.  Well… it’s back to the starching board.  Thank God I still have time.  Needless to say, the boys spent the rest of the night in their rooms.  But, from the heart of a mother, I still went upstairs and tucked them in, doled out hugs and kiss, and wished them a good night.  After all, a mothers love is unconditional.

UNTIL NEXT YEAR

‘Tis the evening of Christmas and in our old house
The snoring shakes windows . . . I speak of my spouse
He said he’s exhausted, though not one to shirk
He just looked on, as I did the work

I purchased and wrapped ….. ‘twas left up to me
Baked cookies galore and put up the tree
Now the kids are playing with a few old toys
The new ones are broken; so much for new joys

The floor is quite messy with boxes and bows
And discarded ribbons . . . along with new clothes
New puppy just did what puppies do best
He wet on the floor, his hourly quest.

The fireplace clogged – I was choking on smoke
My husband kept snoring and never awoke
The tree got knocked over – I cleaned up the mess
What happens next, is anyone’s guess

Hot chocolate spilled from a broken mug
And cookies got ground right into the rug
The turkey’s a carcass, the leftover’s, few
I’m left with the dishes, but that’s nothing new

And out in the kitchen where pans are piled high
I scrub and I scour, and I sigh . . . and I sigh
Am I tired? You bet! I’ve stayed up too late
So fell fast asleep with my face in my plate

We waited all year for this wonderful day
And I’m glad that the next one’s A FULL YEAR AWAY

11/22/95 Phyllis DeWitt-VanVleck
(revised 12/02)

The hobby room is totally completed! Well, not totally totally…but it’s pretty much done. All of the furniture is in place, all of the Christmas decorations are, too. Painting is done. Bookshelves are settled for the most part… Mary Kay shelf is all done. It’s so nice! I even cleaned and shined the floor and put down the rug.

We even got up the Christmas tree and the lights on the balcony (and I ‘winterized’ the balcony by folding up the chairs, dumping the old dead plants and throwing away other garbage), got the Christmas decorations done in the kitchen and bathroom, and finished all of the laundry … AND even hung up the family photos I’d been wanting to put up in the walk-through in the kitchen. It was super productive for a Sunday!

So… as promised, here are some before pictures of the hobby room:

So, that is all before. You can see the lovely couch I have mentioned. It’s so perfect for the room. I hung up curtains we had in the bedroom in the doorway that leads to my closet room – so now that wall is usable. That was a big problem for this room…there was just insufficient wall space to really do anything. So the door is blocked on both sides now and it hasn’t been an issue with traffic because we never really used either room anyway.

You can also see the paint! Both colors are Valspar, but I don’t have the names available off hand. They are great colors though and I like them so much better than the blue. I’m over the blue and I’m glad I didn’t go that route. I tried the dark brown on a whim and I’m sure glad I did. It’s just perfect. It really opens up the room and the other color is so mellow that it helps tone the brown down. It has pink undertones in it, too, which are great with the couch, rug and curtains.

Okay so here are the after pics!

So here we have the mantle area. The large hutch is the magazine/crafty cabinet. I tried to stay simple with the decorative items but honestly it still feels a little cluttered. In person it doesn’t really but looking at this picture it kinda does. There’s a tealight holder on top of the hutch along with some book stacks…the 3 prints above the fireplace (which we want to replace with 1 large, simple B&W photo)…and some other stuff. So I guess it isn’t that much going on. I really toned down the Christmas stuff this year so that was a big plus. I haven’t bought any new Christmas decorations at all so I’m proud of myself there! It’s always so tempting.

Oh, the mantle isn’t on fire, by the way. That’s a candle I have lit.

Here’s the other side of the fireplace, with my Mary Kay shelf I mentioned earlier. I was going to put a curtain inside the shelf to hide everything but for now I think it looks okay and it will encourage me to make sure it stays organized if it’s going to be exposed to the world. We plan on selling that stand that the printer is sitting on and getting a 2-drawer filing cabinet. It’s not pictured, but right now we have this floor filing box that is okay…but we’ve outgrown it.

Well I didn’t take an after picture of the desk because that is still not organized… so we’re skipping right to the ‘reading area.’ Doesn’t it look nice?! That’s my grandpa’s old reading chair, and a great cart I picked up on sale at Hobby Lobby. I’m using 3 storage cubes as a coffee table type thing and I was also able to use the rug I’d had in the bedroom so that was great, too. I love being able to re-purpose things…which is why I love having my furniture and accessories all relatively the same so they work in pretty much any room.

Here’s a closeup of the cart because I love it so much. I’d been searching for something like this for quite some time so I just had to get it when I saw it at Hobby Lobby. I don’t know if I’ll keep all those books on it but for now it works.

Last part of the room – the bookshelves. Both were purchased on sale at Target. They were pretty simple to put together. I got the mirror earlier this year at a local antique mall. It looks more expensive than it is…bonus! The corner where the candles are will change after Christmas because my MIL is getting us a record player thing and we’re putting it there. But for now the candles work. Not sure what I”ll do with them later.

The last picture before I sign off for the night is our Christmas tree! We normally put it in the hobby room but … this year I wanted it in the living room. Alex picked by the window which I didn’t think would work but it actually does. We aren’t doing a tree skirt because our dog will just pee on it, haha. It’s okay though because the stand will be covered with presents anyway and it’s not that bad looking of a stand actually. We had just enough ornaments, which was great and the tree was pre-lit so that was nice too. I’m finally in the Christmas mood! I’ll put up a picture of our Menorah tomorrow night… I lost it but thank G-d it is back again…and with plenty of Chanukah nights left. Yeah… we do both holidays…we’re modern Jews

Seriously? Does it ever happen? Sleeping seems to come in spurts these days. It’s more like I crawl in bed at 1:00am and follow a predetermined pattern. Doze, wake, doze, wake, doze wake. You do that nine or ten times a night and Hannibal Lecter has nothing on you at that point. 5:30 rolls around and you are a zombie.

I like to sleep. That’s the bad thing. If I can stay in bed until six I can sleep for days. Seriously. Let me roll over onto my stomach and I am gone until noon.  However, I am not allowed to sleep like that. My nine year old wakes me up wanting cuzzles and if it’s not him it’s my husband rolling over with Captain Happy and thinking that poking me in the heiney with it is going to rev my motor.

Yeah, right. He can take a cold shower and date his left hand for all I care at that point. I will even draw a face on his hand if that makes him happy.

So, what is this magical drug called sleep? It is something I can magically create? Or is it that elusive tease? Taunting me with it’s sexy, sultry, slinky goodies and letting me know that its erotically crafted lap dance only lasts for a few minutes and that I have to pay out the ass in order to get any real action.

well its sure a good chocolate! and a rather expensive one too!

i don like chocolates but they do something to the already ignited senses;)don ask me about the whole chocolate thing.coz somethings are best left to imagination !!

i thought somethings and people could only make me laugh but some others can make me do a lot more…  make me open up after having lived in hibernation and in a safe comfy coocoon of silence .

silence is definitely comforting .its the best way of hiding secrets and mistakes and regrets and thus you can save yourself from being  in a lot of doubt of havin to pay for revealing ur sweet lil follies .ouch! O.U.C.H. it hurts wen people say double meaning sentences thinking they cannot be understood or when you do not have an answer to simple questions in life or when the whole world except you is convinced of something bang opposite of what u believe in.

its painful to count the number of friends you lose over time because they  wARned you of the dangers lurking behind your irresponsible actions and it hurts when friends leave when they are tired of seeing you fall again and again and to see you rise again only to see you stumble on the same path on those same roadblocks yet again.

facing the truth after a long sustained period of confusion ,doubt ,denial and daydreams is like moving out of thick fog to an unexpected fury of the blazing sun.

good things though: i realized i loved the movie hatari although I was very nervous that i might not.

i am in love with the pepper chicken and hope to learn how to make it!

glad to realize that i remember that i am enrolled in a college and three and a half years down the line i still feel like becoming a lawyer might just be a good idea.thoughts of studying further have been put on hold .think makin a lil bit of money before that is not a bad idea.

travelling is getting to interest me more and more.believe it or not im becoming even more intolerant of injustice.one thing i can never stand.recently saw a rather angelic baby girl on the road.the desire to be able to drive effortlessly is beginning to resurface.have started to finally enjoy a lil bit of music.opening up to people and talkin is fun again.am back to innocent small things in life.goin totally mad about watchin movies.may be after all,girls are not all that bad and boys can bitch too!big groups and big fun.still,a lot of reconstruction remains to be done.whether or not i will succeed is still a big BIG question.its always good to have good company around .always wanted that partner in crime.don think i can do without madness in life.taking chances is fun,taking responsibility is not so much fun.leaning used to be ok  BUT now that there’s no shoulder -to-cry/lean on..either I fall or look for a strong eligible shoulder!!*wink*.

(from addair)