So I’m in L.A. for an indy film premiere—a film I acted-in, and I’m feeling kind of cool, jetting-in for the weekend, staying at a posh hotel, wading through schools of tourists amassed on Hollywood Boulevard.

And just to bring my ego down below the smog line, I’m reminded that my hotel was paid for with reward points, the film premiere is actually part of a horror convention—not a bona fide film festival and, the picture I’m in had a working budget of somewhere around 84 pesos.

Suffice it to say, I’m not exactly attracting a gallery of paparazzi as I saunter along the strip.

Heading back to the hotel, I spot a cozy little dive bar across the street and decide to venture in for a nightcap.

Once inside, my non-descript Midwestern attire makes me look positively milquetoast among the motley rogues’ gallery of Hollywood Bohemians. There are: wispy, musician-looking guys with tattoos on every inch of their spindly arms. Girls aping Betty Page with the shimmering comic book hair and guys in retro ‘50s shirts with thick-framed glasses like your high school shop teacher wore back in ’79.

The bar was packed with people lounging on beat-up old sofas and probably would have been choked with smoke had it not been in L.A. where even the edgy and hard-assed apparently draw the line at sucking-in second-hand smoke.

So chock-one-up for Flyover Country where I hail, at least in our alternative bar scene, you can still show a little derring-do when it comes to breathing in noxious cigarette fumes. How edgy is that?

But again while I take it all in, I keep reminding myself that this is L.A., where new trends and style are constantly redefined for the rest of the country.

As the rare Tubes opus “White Punks on Dope” blasts thru the tinny speakers, I sidle-up to the bar, trying hard not to let my elbows touch the ripped part of the arm rest where the Styrofoam is exposed. I motion to the wiry, female bartender for a drink and I must confess, as she walks toward me, I notice she has more pierced fleshed than Pinhead from Hellraiser.

She asks me what I’m drinking. As I survey what’s on tap, what do you suppose I see?

Stella Artois? Guinness? Bass Ale? Pilsener Urquell? Sierra Nevada? Sam Adams? Freaking Blue Moon?

No, sir. As the barmaid curtsies backward, she waves her hand a la Vanna White as if to unveil the featured house beer. It was none other than….

Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Not one, but two large beer tappers dispensed the plebian suds that  

Dennis Hopper immortalized in the film “Blue Velvet.”

While over 20 years ago, I suspect that Hopper’s famous utterance was the beginning of what has now snowballed into the anti-premium beer movement.

So much for the hand-crafted micro-beers that were all the rage just a few years back, or the six dollar-a-pint foreign beers that wrested market share away from the domestic beer brands. Today’s urban hipsters thumb their noses at the effete beer snobs of recent years and proudly side with Joe Six-Pack when it comes to quaffing suds.

Although PBR is drinkable and to their credit they did earn a Gold Medal for their brew—albeit in 1896, the new taste in beer is on a downward spiral. Cheap swill is suddenly chic. The more devalued a beer brand you drink the more street-cred you earn amongst your peers.

It’s too bad the once mighty domestic beer brands didn’t see this contrarian trend coming. Despite all their resources, their best response to beat-back the microbrews and imports was to make commercials that basically said something like: “despite what your taste buds tell you, we actually do make a quality product.”

Instead, to better corral new legions of beer drinkers, what the domestic brands should be saying is:

“Do you value your hard-earned money over your brain cells?”

Do you long to spend your day seated on the porcelain throne instead of the La-Z-Boy?

Do you prefer a hangover as excruciating as a closed-head injury?

Then it’s time you took a step down and enjoyed some Milwaukee low-end.”

I’ve said it before (for instance, here) but it bears repeating: Thanksgiving is my favorite American holiday.

I love everything about it, from the mythology to the mashed potatoes; from my family’s adherence to our culinary traditions (like this regional requisite) to the outlandish reinterpretations I’ve encountered elsewhere (like this ghastly gallinacean); from the nearly non-secular nature of the celebration to its unabashed, yet rational, nationalism; from its emphasis on amplitude and generosity to its freedom from mandatory “gifting,” etc.

Your dinner guests will give thanks for receiving these native stand-ins.

In other words, it’s the perfect domestic festival: you stay home from work, cook or contribute dishes of delicious food, celebrate your connectedness with as many of your favorite people as you can stand, watch a parade or two on TV, play some football, say “thank you” more than “please,” and nosh and nip and (when lucky) nap. Rinse and repeat. That’s it, easy as pie — except for all the setting- and cleaning-up, of course. There are endless variations on this theme and very few regulations, and that’s about as American as it gets.

Oddly enough, it’s also one of the exclusively Yankee celebrations that requires the inclusion of French produce — namely wine and beer. As any regular reader of this blog knows (or can guess), we’re not here to discuss the former. In fact, when someone asks me what wine I want to drink with my meal, I say “beer!” Glib and annoying, yes; but no less effective, and no less true on the fourth Thursday of each November. Especially because, in this case, the beer of choice comes from the Pas-de-Calais region of northern France, near Belgium.

Biere de garde, or “beer for keeping,” is a light-bodied, slightly malty, and moderately hopped farmhouse ale (similar to a Belgian ale, such as saison) with a strong herbal component that is, in the words of Garrett Oliver, brewmaster at Brooklyn Brewery and author of The Brewmaster’s Table, “brilliant with turkey.” The aromatic quality of biere de garde, which is usually sold in champagne-like bottles, perfectly matches all the various and savory qualities of the Thanksgiving Day meal — from the salty seasonings on the crunchy, browned skin, to the bouquet of veggie flavors in the stuffing and sides, to the rich poultry and game essences in the meat — and it makes everything taste juicy.

Castelain is my favorite biere de garde. It’s like liquid stuffing: slightly sweet, bready, earthy, tangy, and the perfect accompaniment to nearly every ingredient on a plateful of the standard turkey meal — and, I would bet, it pairs well with the components of a non-standard one, too. Unfortunately, as I have come to discover over the past few years, it’s also hard to come by right now. Because biere de garde is typically brewed to be consumed as a summer beer, it’s not readily available the rest of the year. And despite the fact that Belgian-style ales are all the rage among microbrewers — for instance, the number of tripels on the shelf seemingly has trebled in the last six months — scant few Americans are brewing bieres de gardes, based on what I could find in my area, at least. It’s a shame, really, because I think they’re missing the boat (the Mayflower, as it were) when it comes to creating the perfect pour for the premiere American meal.

So, following a failed attempt to locate the proper bottles to serve at my table this year, I decided to turn my deficit into a dare and set out to discover something that is comparable, in terms of flavor and comestible compatibility, easy to obtain, and brewed by our native sons and daughters. Following are the byproducts of this harvesting.

One caveat, however: I have previously (and somewhat unwittingly) reviewed several of the beers that could serve as a stand-in for the Flemish habitue. And although I normally prefer to use this space to talk about novelties (or new-to-me’s, at least), I’m willing to risk repeating myself in order to introduce these quality quaffs to those who either have yet to be served or need a second helping. So, here goes. Enjoy!

Sixteen, Avery Brewing Company. This limited-release saison proved to be a great summer brew and would, I imagine, hold up equally well at turkey time. Created in celebration of the brewery’s 16th anniversary, this Belgian-style ale features just enough unique ingredients, including jasmine, peaches, and honey, to make it a stand-out among its peer beers. Pouring out cloudy-blond, with lots of frothy foam, hoppy floral notes, and a nice balance of fruit and spices, it’s surprisingly less sweet than expected, slightly tart and dry, and assertive enough to pair with a range of flavors.

Le Freak, Green Flash Brewing Company. As the name implies, and as I discovered this summer, this is one unusual farmhouse ale. A cross between an Imperial IPA and a Belgian-style tripel, it appears milky-light-brown, with citrus (grapefruit and orange) aromas and a potent whiff of alcohol. The IPA genes contribute some highly hoppy and dry-sweet flavors, while the tripel lineage confers a mix of herbs and spices and lots of carbonation. In August, it got down with a dinner of baked sweet (turkey) sausages and ears of fresh Silver Queen corn, and would no doubt prove tres chic with sliced turkey breast and sweet corn pudding.

Biere de Mars, Brewery Ommegang. As I predicted I might in my review, I’m definitely going to place this beer front and center on my Turkey Day table. Similar to a biere de garde (and, brewed in Cooperstown, N.Y., the closest thing to an all-American I could find), this more robust amber ale pours out in an orange hue, with lots of spice and citrus notes, and a tart, dry, and, well, funky taste due to a key ingredient: Brettanomyces bruxellensis, or “Brett,” a wild yeast used in secondary fermentation. This late-stage infusion apparently imparts a fruity, peppery, musty bite that, like a dry Chardonnay, will kick-start your tastebuds between forkfuls for an “out of this world” experience.

Saison Athene, Saint Somewhere Brewing Company. It seems fitting that this medium-bodied ale, brewed in Sarasota, Fla., is one of the most citrusy saisons (with pronounced grapefruit highlights) that I’ve ever opened. It’s also one of the sweetest. Both are qualities that I think make it an ideal partner for a meal that includes a variety of lighter-flavored ingredients, such as cranberry sauce (especially if it includes orange peel, the way my grandmother made it), and squash, turnips, and sweet potatoes. It is just dry and sour enough, too, that I’d bet it would do the Schuhplattler with a side of sauerkraut, which is a Maryland must-have.

La Merle, North Coast Brewing Company. Here’s another farmhouse ale that, with its golden complexion, racy carbonation, and earthy, yeasty-biscuity flavors, would serve as a refreshing and versatile table-mate for Tom and all the fixings. Last week I tried it with pork chops baked with apples and acorn squash and discovered that, because the fruity aromas and hops bitterness are less dramatic and more understated here than with other saisons, the spice notes are more noticeable and draw out the sweet and herbal qualities inherent in such a piquant meal. Gobble, gobble!

Coup de Boule, The Brewer’s Art. This is a traditional Belgian dark ale spiced with cardamom, cinnamon, and saffron that pours out coppery gold with a lively head of aromatic foam. It’s mildly spicy, with hints of lemon and malty sweetness, and a taste that reminds me of an apple pie. Seems appropriate, doesn’t it? Moreover, because dark ales are considered a good pairing for game-based dishes, I thought this relatively new brew from the Baltimore-based (and Esquire’s favorite) brewpub would be a strong choice for those who favor dark meat and hearty stuffing — like the kind my mom makes, with apples, raisins, and sausage. And, oh yeah, save a little for dessert, too.

Other American-made French-style beers that I’ve read about, figured would be ideal, but couldn’t find on the shelf in time for this posting include Fluxus (Allagash Brewing Company), an ale fermented with sweet potatoes and black pepper — is there a better-sounding second-best beer for the Thanksgiving meal? — Fuego del Otono, or “Autumn Fire” (Jolly Pumpkin Artisan Ales), an amber ale and one of the few bieres de gardes to be released in the fall, and Garde Dog (Flying Dog Brewing Company), a conventional biere de garde from an unconventional brewery.

I’d also recommend the Pecan Harvest Ale from Abita. Although I’m not a fan of the ubiquitous, often uniformly flavored “autumn ales” that seem to be growing in popularity among brewers, I was intrigued by the possibility of this one, and enjoyed it with a slice of fresh shoofly pie. Mildly flavorful, dry rather than sweet, and slightly nutty, I imagine it’s cracking good paired with its eponymous pastry.

So, there you have it, a selection of six-plus native stand-ins that, though not quite achieving la perfection, nonetheless will squash your desire to serve grape-flavored libations at the dinner table this holiday — and that’s something for which your guests will be thankful. But keep the wine glasses out — you’ll enjoy the beer better if you don’t drink it straight from the bottle.

As always, talk turkey here and tell us what you think. Have you tasted any of these beers? Are there other American-made bieres de gardes, or different beer styles altogether, that you prefer to serve with your Thanksgiving meal? Let us know by leaving a comment below.

And be sure to visit (and join) the Scribbleskiff page on Facebook (find it here), where you can partake in wall-to-wall conversations, find additional information and suggestions from readers, and more.

Microbrews are amazing. I love them. It is not good enough to love them, however. We must actively and vocally hate any mass produced/ “blue collar” beer. It is this reformers belief that the makers of Miller Light are predestined to eternal conscious torment.

The La Quinta Arts Foundation presents La Quinta Blues and Brews at the Civic Center Campus in La Quinta, November 21st from 11am to 6pm. Event includes three live bands and over 30 Microbrews. Bring your lawn chairs and blankets. Parking is free.

Admission is $20 and children under the age of 12 are free. Your ticket includes your choice of four 4 oz samples or one 16 oz cup of beer, or one glass of wine or two bottles of water.

For more information, call 760-564-1244 or visit www.LQAF.com

The Dreadnaught is back on tap at Patricks!

Those who know about the mighty Dreadnaught understand that this is a Very Big Deal.

Dreadnaught comes from the Three Floyd’s Brewery in Munster, Indiana and Patricks is lucky -and hip- enough to have it on tap…no other bar in Indy has it.

In addition to this rare treat, I also got to meet Hans, who let us sample a couple of beers from his own private stash:

Cherry Lambic – first sour beer I’ve ever had. It was…interesting. I have never been a fan of “flavory” beers, but this one was so unique to my taste buds that I actually enjoyed the fruitiness. A few sips was just enough though – not something I’d sit and drink all night…

Also sampled Péché Mortel, a very dark, frothy, coffee-like beer that made for a nice contrast to the mighty Dread – the opposites definitely attracted. Never big on porters/stouts but I really liked this one. Again – little sips; this is not a chugging beer. (But if a beer is chuggable, is it even worth drinking??)

Sorry for the crummy photos – the mood lighting combined with my crappy camera didn’t make for great pictures!

And now here’s a discussion topic for you: why are there fantastic inexpensive wines, but you still have to pay an arm and a leg for a good craft beer? Talk amongst yourselves…

Lard! I hate lard!

This may sound as sacrilegious as an Exxon exec owning an electric car, but I often despise patronizing bars. I have a love-hate explanation: I love craft brews. I hate paying $6 or $7 a pint.

“Then come to Brouwerij Lane,” my beerloving pal Matt suggested. The Greenpoint beer store pours its growler-ready draft beers on premise by the pint ($4) and the half pint ($2), creating a low-cost tasting station. “It’s like permanent happy hour,” he said, joyous words that echoed in my ears as we convened at Brouwerij Lane (78 Greenpoint Ave., at Franklin Ave., Brooklyn, 347-529-6133).

Though more store than saloon, Brouwerij contains a smattering of tables and, most crucially, a bathroom. We secured a corner table and tiptoed to the taps. A chalkboard listed the night’s intoxications, ranging from North Coast’s dark, cockles-warming Old Rasputin and Heartland Brewery’s sweet, spiced Imperial Smiling Pumpkin Ale. Tasty, but we thirsted for fresh-hop brews. August and September signal harvesting season for hops—the flower cones that provide beers’ bitter, floral flavors.

And though most hops are dried and packaged, just-plucked hops form fall’s fleeting delicacy: fresh-hopped beer. It’s grassy and vibrant, greener and livelier than super-bitter bombs such as Stone IPA or Bear Republic Racer 5.

Heart palpitating, drool forming, I dove into a Southern Tier Harvest Ale.

It drank citric and piney with just the slightest caramel jolt. By contrast, Matt’s Victory Harvest Ale was assertively malty and earthy, and the Two Brothers Heavy Handed Wet Hop was light in carbonation but heavy on the tongue. Paying but $4 a pint, we quickly and economically drank ourselves into a David Hasselhoff-like stupor.

Unlike the Hoff, there were no hamburgers to scavenge off the floor; instead, we debated the best food to cure beer munchies.

I voted for area Mexican star Papacito’s (999 Manhattan Ave. betw. Huron & Green Sts., Brooklyn, 718-349-7292), which makes Baja-quality fish tacos. Matt was atwitter after reading a rave review: “The [bacon] combination we found most persuasive was a weirdo appetizer at Polish newcomer Karczma, which features a bread dip called ‘peasant lard’—a pool of molten fat dotted with smoky bits of bacon.”

He paused for a moment, letting the words marinate in my mind, then added, “I want lard, and I want it now!” Now, Matt’s as keen as I am for culinary adventures, eager to trek to Brooklyn and Queens’ hinterlands for, say, a slice of clam-crowned pizza or extra-spicy chorizo. I mostly trust his taste. But lard and bread seemed as appealing as another Bloomberg term.

“I’m watching my girlish figure…” I begged, pointing to the beach ball between my nipples and waist as soft as Wonder bread. “Lard,” Matt commanded, a dining dictator issuing his final directive. I meekly agreed. Bellies sloshing with a fresh-hop sea, we bounded up Greenpoint Avenue to Karczma (136 Greenpoint Ave. betw. Manhattan & Greenpoint Aves., 718-349-1744; Brooklyn). It looked like the Wild West invaded Poland.Wooden booths were complemented by wagon wheels and a faux well. Farm implements were strewn willy-nilly, providing ample weaponry should we be overrun by the brains-craving undead.

Using our tastily pickled gray matter, we ordered a banquet of Polish brews, beer-roasted ham hocks, stuffed cabbage, kielbasa, pierogies and peasant-style lard. “I enjoy that one very much,” assured the waitress, wearing a frilly dress. Matt beamed with I-told-you-so pride. His smile broadened as we tore into kielbasa that was split and griddle-crisped to a snappy, fatty crunch.The pierogies were plump and tender, swollen with mashed potatoes. The cabbage was as tasty as limp leaves wrapped around a meaty lump could ever aspire to be. However, the ham hocks were a brown slurry of bone, skin and swine. For once, I understood my girlfriend’s vegetarianism.

Matt gamely gobbled a couple chunks.

His smile sagged like 70-year-old cleavage, then skipped town upon the lard’s arrival. Thin-sliced brown bread was served alongside a cool ramekin containing what resembled chunky pomade. I sunk my knife into the thick spread, smeared it across bread and took my first and last bite.The lard was as slick and flavorful as Crisco. The bacon nibs were rubbery speed bumps. In car terms, peasant lard was a clunker.

“Seconds?” I asked Matt, whose face was lard-colored.

“Shut up,” he said, reaching for his crisp, palate-cleansing pilsner.

I went to Pittsburgh this week to go to the American Society of Agronomy – Crop Science Society of America – Soil Science Society of America annual meetings. It was a pretty though long nine hour drive from Raleigh to Pittsburgh. Most of the trip was in West Virginia. Unfortunately we were about two weeks behind peak fall colors but it was pretty none the less. The meetings were held at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center located riverside in downtown Pittsburgh. Here is the website for the meetings.

There was over 3,000 people who attended the meetings. During the meetings many people present their current research through posters and presentations, exhibitors present their products and companies, employers do job interviews, but most importantly – people network. I thoroughly enjoyed the conference. I was able to meet several well known “wetland soils people” and can now put a face to the names on the research journal articles I read all of the time. I presented my master’s research through a poster presentation at the conference. I had entered my poster in a contest with the other graduate students in the S10 – Wetland Soils division. I ended up winning the contest which was a nice surprise. For my poster I had to hang it early in the morning on Monday then stand by it between 4 and 6pm. At that time people can come by and ask questions. Posters are great for opening one-on-one discussion. Several people had good advice for where to take my research in the future. Several people also had great questions.

On Tuesday I ran in the annual meetings 5K run. The race started at 6:30am and the starting line was 1.5 miles from my hotel. I had to get up well before sunrise and walk the whole way to the run, then run the 5K (3.1 miles) then walk back. It was a lot of fun though. There was about 100 people who ran in it. I did my part as an ex football lineman and secured the back of the pack. I did 3.1 miles in 35 minutes. The running path followed a greenway trail that was on the opposite side of the river from the convention center. I was told that the trail dates back to before Pittsburgh was “Pittsburgh” when the river was only 4-6 feet deep and people had to portage their boats.

Pittsburgh is a great city (despite all of the Steeler fans). The city is very clean and has a lot of new industry and technology coming into it. The buildings have a lot of character to compliment their age. There is a lot of tradition in the city too. Some fellow graduate students and I did what we do best and went drinking each night. One night we went to East Carson St. which is a strip of bars and restaraunts that are between where the steel mills used to be and where the steelers lived. They would each stop in for food and beer then head home. The large amount of bars from way back when now make it a “premo” spot for nightlife in the city because each building has a liquor license. The strip had 60 bars in a very short walk. A bar crawl there would probably end up in a person actually crawling. Also, since there were so many bars, competition drives the price of beer down. We were drinking 89 cent Bud Lights and it only took $30 to get all of us buzzed. We also ate at Primanti Brothers which Pittsburgh is also known for. It is a bar-restaraunt which serves the whole meal in the sandwich. For example, I got the pastrami sandwich, which is a normal pastrami and Swiss sandwich, but with a whole serving of coleslaw and fries on top of it – all between two pieces of bread. We also had some Iron City beer and Yuengling which the area is also known for.

I also went to a mixer for Iowa State faculty, students, and alumni on Monday night. It was good to get caught up there with some old friends and meet some new ones. Attendees for the conference stayed at various hotels. I stayed with the rest of the NCSU grad students at the Omni William Penn Hotel. This place was the definition of class. I felt like I was underdressed the whole time except for when I was in my suit for my poster presentation. Here is the outside:

And here is the awesome lobby:

It was a good thing my research grant was footing the bill. The convention center was also really cool. It is hard to explain but here are some pics I took while on the 4th floor deck overlooking the river.

Colby checking out the view

Old School Riverboat

Upstream

Weinan and Wendy

The convention center roof with the Pittsburgh skyline

Convention center and more skyline

Adam and the looking glass

Pittsburgh was fun. I didn’t really know what to expect of it but I was surprised none the less. Plus it is where ketchup comes from so it has to be good. Anyway, the conference was good. Next year it is in Long Beach, CA. Hopefully I’ll be able to go to that one too since I’ve never been to Cali.

After two months in Peru, Rob and Jessie take a look back and try to put their fingers on just what it is that’s kept them here so long. Click here for parts One (Peruvian People) and Two (Peruvian Transportation).

In Part 3: You get the aeropuerto and I’ll get the tacu tacu.

One of my favorite parts of travel is sitting down at a restaurant, pointing at an unknown item on the menu, and seeing what they bring me. In Peru it’s been almost uniformly delicious, and almost entirely meat-based.

Peru has three main regions: coast, sierra, and jungle, and though the cities of each region have similar cuisine (coast–fish! sierra–cuy and potatoes! jungle–not sure, since we haven’t been there yet!), each city prides itself on their typical local dishes that you simply must try.

And try them we have.

Every Wednesday we’ll be posting our Midweek Snack, a column about the food we eat, the restaurants we eat it at, and the people who cook it. We plan to post reviews, recipes and plenty of photos. To start it off in today’s recap we’ll review our food journey so far.

You went to Peru? Did you eat cuy?

Cuy! We have to start with that, don’t we? Everyone’s favorite childhood pet, served up golden-brown with a tasty sauce! I of course had to try it when we were in Huaraz, but since we had no camera with us (what!!) I’ll have to send you over to Miss Chloé’s fantastic blog to see a photo of the cute little guinea pig that I ate.

For the record, Rob made a vow not to touch cuy, and he has firmly lived by it.

Like most of the Peruvian population, Rob is living instead on ice cream and pollo a la brasa (roast chicken with french fries). Both are readily available at every street corner.

Until moving into our new place in Huanchaco we’ve eaten nearly every meal in a restaurant. I’m not entirely sure what Peruvians eat in their own homes, but for those of us doomed to eat every meal out, our options are: pollo a la brasa , comida criollo (traditional food, such as lomo saltado: beef stir-fried with french fries, onions, and peppers), and chifa.

According to Jesús of Condor’s House in Lima, chifa isn’t Chinese, it’s Peruvian. “If you go to China, they won’t have chifa.” It’s really not that great.

Raw fish is awesome!

Rob and I both love sushi, and it turns out that Peru’s famous coastal dish, ceviche, is just another example of delicious fish au natural. Ceviche is raw fish sliced and marinated in lime juice, generally served with yucca and sweet potatoes. Everyone claims to have the best regional ceviche, but although we’ve tried it many places, I don’t know that I could choose my favorite.

We raved about El Muelle in Barranco, in particular because of their delicious conchitas a la parmesana. Huanchaco’s ceviche tends to be quite spicy, and Chiclayo’s contained the greatest percentage by far of things that I couldn’t eat (shells, etc.).

We’ve even tried ceviche in the Andes, at a delicious little place in Tarma, and back in Lima we came across a sushi joint in Miraflores that served ceviche sushi, complete with a mayonnaise-lime dipping sauce. That, my friends, was incredible.

Para tomar?

The soda of choice here is Inca Cola, a sugary, syrupy, fizzy-yellow concoction that tastes a bit like bubble gum. If you don’t want that, you can buy the most incredible fruit juices for just a few soles.

Though much of the coffee here is Nescafé, I’ve also had hands-down way better coffee than I ever found in England. Even the Peruvian instant coffee brands like Altomayo are better than fresh-brewed British coffee. (Confession time: I’m actually starting to like Altomayo).

Beer is unsatisfying and wine is too sweet.

I’ll admit that the Elysian has ruined my beer taste buds with their massively deliciously hoppy recipes, but still! We’ve gone on a search for good Peruvian microbrews and come up with a few: Industrias de Tomás, Cerveceria Andina, and others, but sadly our most satisfying beer experience was with imported British beer.

For some reason Peruvians seem to believe that drinking cold beer can make you sick, so it’s often hard to find a place that serves beer “helado,” or chilled. After my experience in Venezuela where if beer wasn’t straight out of the freezer Venezuelans would send it back, this is a bit strange. (Peruvian beer really has even less going for it when it’s at room temperature.)

Oh. And I’ve never seen a girl (or anyone) drink Quara.

I’m really looking forward to going down to Ica with Mama and Papa Kwak to do some wine tasting, since all the Peruvian wine I’ve tried is too sweet. I’ve always been a big proponent of drinking local wine (easy to do when you’re blessed to live in Washington State), but here I’m terrified of every bottle with a Peruvian label, after coming across one that tasted like uber-sugary raison-water that someone had used to put their cigarettes out in.

Settling in

Peru is an amazing place, full of great people, quirky but great transportation, and delicious food. Tune in tomorrow when we explore the natural beauty and fascinating archaeology we’ve found here, as well.

It is more than a little early for me to start hearing Christmas music in my head. In fact, it’s regrettably early. Nevertheless, it happened recently, while I was collecting my thoughts for this week’s post. (Mind you, a lot of stuff clatters around in that echoey hollow on a regular basis. Yet, when something suddenly increases in volume and rises above the din, I tend to listen up, whether I want to or not.)

They may be different from the rest, but who decides the test of what is really best?

While I was rooting around in the fridge for something to write about, I noticed a handful of single beers that were purchased for review but, for one reason or another, went unanatomized. “Huh,” I thought, “what a bunch of misfits.” Which inevitably led to that saccharine song of independence, the centerpiece of a reindeer-based animated TV show, suddenly sounding like a siren in the fog of my subconscious. (Please, forgive me if I’ve now planted this earworm in your brain.)

So I marshaled my orphans in the hope that they might prove to be rewarding on their own (they were) and serve as a much-needed antidote to the tuneful torment I was experiencing (they didn’t). Ultimately, some cohesion did emerge from the relative chaos of this collective. Two turned out to be celebrators, for instance; there was an even split between lagers and ales; and most could be characterized as “balanced” and “easy-drinking,” which isn’t always the case with microbrews.

But that’s about it, as far as generalities go. The following sixer consists of standalones only, mere holdovers from forgotten or abandoned thought processes, with virtually no rhyme or reason for a review. It’s just a little post-Halloween rattling and prattling. Nothing more than an excuse to “crack tubes” on something new and dream a little dream (within a dream). This is Scribbleskiff, after all, and it’s how we roll. Enjoy!

Lhasa Beer, Tibet Lhasa Brewing Company. Although I received a bottle of this beer several weeks ago, I just haven’t been able to find a fit for it. With good reason: It’s one of the most unique imports I’ve encountered in awhile. It’s the only Tibetan beer on the market, for one thing, brewed on the world’s highest mountain plateau (the word Lhasa means “place of the gods”), and it’s got a conscience — 10% of the annual profits will be donated to “socially responsible initiatives” back home. I was a little concerned that its singularity would fizzle once poured into a glass. Luckily, my trepidations proved pointless. Beyond its typical, light-straw color and working-class carbonation, this pilsner proved more enlightened than its peers. According to the press kit, one-third of the beer’s malt is brewed using a native, huskless barley which contributes to “a clean taste, without any harsh or astringent flavors” (whatever that means). It’s certainly not as malty as some lagers, and gives off a nice, sweet biscuity aroma that’s accentuated by plenty of hops bite and flavor. It’s supposed to be available nationwide by year’s end and is definitely worth searching high and low for, especially to pair with light fare.

Shiner 100 Commemorator, Spoetzl Brewery. Brewed in celebration of the brewery’s 100th birthday, this limited-release doppelbock packs a double wallop of exuberance. Tawny, almost ruddy in complexion and overwhelmingly full of rich, malty flavors and aromas, from toffee and caramel to raisin, vanilla, and sherry, the beer makes me think the brewmaster was overdoing things a bit, on purpose. Often called “liquid bread,” the doppelbock style was traditionally crafted with a heavy dose of malted grain (and alcohol) to fortify fasting monks during Lent.   Smoother and creamier, sweeter and more filling (and slightly more serious) than its flagship beer, Shiner Bock, this celebratory Texan is ample enough to keep even the most zealous brethren smiling long past Easter. Get it while you can and enjoy a glassful with an earthy, buttery pre-dinner snack, like warm brie with roasted almonds and ginger snaps.

Whig Street, Penobscot Bay Brewery. My in-laws went to Maine this summer and all I got was a case of assorted local microbrews. (Such a gift makes me wonder why I ever settled for a lousy T-shirt.) I’ve enjoyed several bottles, but so far this one, a curious blonde ale, is the best of the bunch. The label uses terms I would not ordinarily prescribe to a favorite: “soft and delicate,” “uncomplicated,” “easy drinking,” and “comfortable.” And yet, that’s exactly what pours out — an expectation-defying, delicious, and very likable beer. In my experience, American blonde ales are, well, blond and show off a maltier, more subtle hop character with low bitterness. Classic examples include Redhook Blonde or Molson Golden. This Downeaster, on the other hand, is amber, with a subdued though no less sweet maltiness and lots of fruity hops aromas and flavors (including lemongrass and apple). Best of all, it’s low in alcohol and thus “easy to enjoy” (as advertised!) with some zesty tacos and fresh guacamole.

Saranac Black Forest, F. X. Matt Brewing Company. Even though this traditional Bavarian black beer is part of Saranac’s “core beer” collection, it’s the first time I’ve ever tried it. And it definitely won’t be the last. With its deep chestnut hue, malty-bready aroma, and creamy, roasted caramel flavors, this beer reminds me a little of Guinness. But it’s a bit sweeter and, even better, takes me back to one of the best beer-drinking moments I’ve ever had: downing several mugfuls of black beer at U Fleku, arguably Prague’s most famous brewpub. Now, whenever I want to remember that stolen afternoon, which also included lots of sight-seeing with close friends, searching for and locating the 500-year-old restaurant (in spite of the great vowel puzzle that plagues Czech signage), and enjoying plates of homemade sausages with mustard and brown bread, I can simply drink in this enchanting New York brew. (It also goes great with purloined Halloween candy, by the way.)

Millennium Ale, Old Dominion Brewing Company. Here’s another byproduct of a brewer’s attempt to capture (Jim Henson-like) time in a bottle. According to the packaging, “Millennium” is an English barleywine-style ale originally brewed in celebration of the company’s 1,000th batch of beer. Now an annual release, it’s noticeably sweet (because it’s brewed with Virgina honey) and strong (10.5% alcohol), with a generous helping of hops bitterness and a distinctive ring of yeast on the bottom for aging, to be enjoyed at any milestone. Normally, I like to sip a barleywine as an after-dinner treat, with a hearty oatmeal cookie, for instance. But on the night I first tasted this one, it proved an equal match to a dinner of “pigs in a blanket” (with homemade sweet-hot mustard) and creamy macaroni and cheese. A timeless combination, if ever there was one.

Whole Hog, Stevens Point Brewery. When I first noticed that the phrase “5-Hop” on the label was crossed out and the word “six” was scrawled in over top in what looked like black magic-marker, I thought it was a prank. But after opening it, I realized the marketing hype on this limited-release specialty beer may not be exaggerating its characteristics enough. Because there really are six hops used to create, as the label goes on to state, “a massive hop flavor,” this singular India Pale Ale should be called a “double.” In spite of its benign golden-amber color, it tastes as heavily (and heavenly) sweet and racy — and, at 8.5% alcohol, is as potent — as any of the best Imperials (like this old dog) I’ve ever had and enjoyed. In fact, had I known it really was such a hog, this beer may not have been penned up for so long.

So, there you have it, a mixed-up six pack’s worth of nonpartisan, new-to-me beers. Sidling up to these improbable shelf-mates may not make you want to become a dentist, but they could very well inspire a shiny red nose.

As always, tell us what you think. Have you tried any of these beers? If so, which did you like the best? Are there other, stubbornly independent beers in your fridge waiting to be discovered? Let us know by leaving a comment below.

And be sure to visit (and join) the Scribbleskiff page on Facebook (find it here), where you can partake in wall-to-wall conversations, find additional information and suggestions from readers, and more.

Full Sail Cascadian Fresh Hop full pint; wee cider pint; voting materials

Whether you choose Mallahan or McGinn for Seattle Mayor and approve or shoot down tax-money initiatives, on Election Day (and, hey, every day), raise a pint to the brewers who continue to keep our city/county/state/country in incredible microbrewed beer.

Better yet, show your democratic support (or lack thereof) while consuming a pint of said beer. I trust your opinions and personal endorsements will be made before you drink … too much.

Also, on this particular election eve, raise a pint to the families and friends of two particular brewers who’ve very recently, suddenly, and unfortunately left us to our earthly imbibing and decision-making devices: Dick’s Brewing Company’s Dick Young and Diamond Knot Brewery’s Brian Sollenberger.

Thanks for everything, sirs.

When you think of October, you think of Oktoberfest and traditional German celebrations with plenty of great beer. This year, in Cleveland, there’s a new reason to think of beer when you think of October: the first-ever Cleveland Beer Week, October 16-24. If you love great food and great beer, you will not want to miss this!

Cleveland Beer Week is a not-for-profit collaborative celebration to raise awareness of and education for the strong American and imported craft brew industry while promoting patronage at local establishments. Bars, taverns, restaurants, grocers, specialty beverage stores, and other retail and purchase locations throughout the region are celebrating with musical entertainment, leisure activities, ale tastings, and brewmaster meet-and-greets offering unique specials to raise awareness of craft brews. It will all culminate in BREWzilla, a grand reception on Saturday, October 24, at The Arcade in downtown Cleveland. BREWzilla will feature more than 80 tasting stations, appetizers and other culinary delights that pair well with craft brews, as well as entertainment and guest appearances by renowned brewers. All proceeds will be donated to the Malone Scholarship Fund, managed by the Cleveland Scholarship Program, Northeast Ohio’s only nonprofit resource that promotes educational awareness and community enrichment by preparing the workforce of tomorrow.

Bistro 185 is proud to be part of the Cleveland Beer Week celebrations, and you can be part of them with us starting tonight! From 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. this evening, we’ll be hosting the Great Draft Beer Tasting, an event at which you’ll be able to choose any six beers and receive a 6 oz. sample of each one, accompanied by sausage, smoked meat, fruit, and cheese. Our featured beers will be Guinness, Magic Hat Summer Wacko, Labatt Blue Light, Great Lakes Grass Roots, Moosehead Lager, Ithaca Apricot Wheat, Great Divide Belgica, Sam Adams Summer Ale, Stella Artois, Breckinridge Avalanche Ale, and Triple Karmeliet. Cost is $35 per person.

On Thursday, October 22, starting at 5 p.m., we’ll host a Great Divide Keg Tapping, a special tapping from Great Divide Brewing of Denver, Colorado, featuring $4 pints of Great Divide 15th Anniversary Oak Aged India Pale Ale. Stop by to enjoy a fine product from this award-winning Western microbrewery.

For more information about Cleveland Beer Week, visit the Web site. For more on our Beer Week events, call us at 216.481.9635.

Here’s a funny quote that I have occasionally seen on T-shirts and posters and that recently came to mind again: “Give a man a beer, and he wastes an hour, but teach a man how to brew a beer, and he wastes a lifetime.”

Well, I tried brewing my own beer once, about 15 years ago. And although I surely wasted more than a few hours (and lots of greenbacks) in the attempt, I never learned enough to waste a lifetime. Not on beer-making, at least.

Looking back now on this experience, I’m not sure why I even tried. The main reason, I suppose, was that I got caught up in the microbrews craze that was beginning to sweep the country in the mid to late 1980s. As soon as I discovered that there was more to beer-drinking than winning the “great taste/less filling” debate, I thirstily sought out as many different species as I could find. I read high-brow brew magazines like Zymurgy and Beer Advocate, and lucked into a few bartenders and shopkeepers willing to introduce me to the rich array of commercially available styles and flavors — silky porters and stouts, hoppy ales and bitters, sweet lagers, sharp pilsners, and the like.

Another reason for my interest was that I had a friend and neighbor who had brewed a batch or two and made it look so easy. In fact, to hear him talk, as we swizzled his delicious spiced “Winter Warmers,” it all seemed so simple: Heat some water, add sugar and a little yeast, pour it all into some containers, set them aside for a few weeks, and, ta-dah! — beer as good as (and perhaps, if you do it right, even cheaper than) the craft brands I was buying.

So I decided to try my hand at do-it-yourself beer-making. I bought everything I supposedly needed — a copy of homebrewing pioneer Charlie Papazian’s quirky how-to book, The Complete Joy of Home Brewing; a couple of appealing recipes for my favorite styles; and an odd assortment of ingredients and equipment, like malt extract, dried yeast, a hydrometer, a glass carboy, chlorine bleach, a funnel, a length of rubber hose (what was I making?) — and then I went to work.

My goal was to produce a few batches of simple brews (British-style pale and brown ales, mostly) over the course of a year, or about enough to last a month or two, and to make some seasonals to give to relatives and friends as Christmas and birthday gifts. That way I would always have fresh beer on hand, to drink or share, and I could supplement my supplies with store-boughts as needed (or as my checkbook allowed).

Sounds simple enough, right? At first, it was. And for a brief period, I was an avid participant, having loads of sudsy fun. But after awhile, I gave it up. I have “tuns” of excuses for ending my brief career as a homebrewer — we were starting a family, there wasn’t enough time in the day, we didn’t have enough room in the house, my house guests didn’t like the smell, I didn’t have the right ingredients or equipment, etc. But that’s all they are, excuses.

Truth is, I boxed up my books and equipment and stowed them in the basement for one reason: I stunk. Despite getting help from some well-meaning friends, and from my wife, who is a darn good cook, I couldn’t produce a bottle of anything that I was brave enough to serve to others, or that was even remotely drinkable at my own table. As I quickly discovered, once I ventured beyond the basic (and very boring) starter recipes, homebrewing is an exact science, not an art form. It’s like the difference between baking a loaf of bread and making an omelette. There’s a chemical equation at the heart of every seemingly simple list of beer ingredients, and I was never very good at chemistry.

So in the end, after a number of failed batches, I realized that, to obtain good quality beer, it was easier (and cheaper) to buy it from a store.

Now, I’m telling you all this because I recently attended an event that might cause me to change my mind. A week or so ago, I was cordially invited to the first homebrew tasting at The Wine Source. As Scribbleskiff readers know, I have been to many tastings at TWS. But unlike their previous events, this time the store provided only the nibbles — the attendees were the ones who supplied the beer. And, oh my, what a supply!

This inaugural event, organized by Jed, my new-brew adviser, included more than a dozen beers, divided into three categories: light, medium, and heavyweight. Not surprising, since the tasting was more or less a talent show, and the half-dozen or so participants were anything but bashful about their brood of brews, most of what was opened fell into the latter category.

And the beers sampled (well, consumed, really, since every bottle was empty at the event’s end) covered a surprisingly wide range of styles, including a ginger beer, a hefeweizen, two barleywines, a saison, a lambic, an IPA, a Belgian/IPA hybrid, a few porters, and several kinds of stout. Even more impressive were the creative variations on the themes — the lambic was made with Chardonnay grapes rather than berries, for instance, while the porters and stouts featured a mishmash of ingredients, everything from chocolate and cherries, to coffee beans, chipotle peppers, and raw (post-Halloween) pumpkin. A far cry from the “Continental Dark,” a lifeless, cardboardy concoction that was my first-brewed beer in 1994.

I know what you’re thinking — who cares about their stylistic variety and complex pedigree, how did they taste? Simply put — scrumptious. Each of the evening’s offerings was as different from the other as could be, giving new meaning to the notion of “craft” beer, yet all were equally tasty and outstanding . Frankly, what these so-called amateurs produced in their kitchens rivaled many of the commercially brewed beers lining the store’s shelves.

So, what’s changed over the last decade and a half? A lot, apparently. What’s available now, in terms of ingredients and equipment, as well as readily accessible information and know-how, seems to have transformed homebrewing from a relatively solo activity to an exciting communal experience.

I’d venture to guess that the birth of the Internet has contributed the most to the pace of change. At the time I was hanging up my brewmaster’s apron, circa 1996, Al Gore and crew were still weaving the World Wide Web. But even if I had wanted to use the technology for my purposes, what was available then was a pittance compared to what’s out there today. Over the past 10 years or more, the Web has produced a multitude of highly informed and useful sites (I Googled “homebrew beer” and got 1.5 million hits!), offering everything from recipes, supplies, tips, and FAQs, to how-to advice, message boards, and social networking groups. Having expert help at your fingertips — like being able to email, or even Twitter, a fellow brewer when you think you may have “overboiled” the wort (I did this) and get instant advice about what to do next — could mean the difference between salvaging some part of a 5-gallon brew or dumping $40 worth of ingredients (and countless hours of time and effort) down the drain — I did that, too.

There are also many new and improved products available these days. For instance, when I was starting out, the malt — the main flavor ingredient in most beer — was only sold as a dry powder or as a thick, syrupy extract in a 3.5 lb can, which was problematic for a number of reasons — not the least of which was, what do you do with the sticky excess when the recipe calls for less? Nowadays, in addition to the liquid extract variety (some of which comes in resealable containers), malt may be purchased dried, flaked, or even whole grain. This allows for greater flexibility and creativity, as I was told by several participants. There are also many new devices and products to make cleaning and sanitizing (a very palpable source of anxiety for me) much, much easier.

Another especially helpful innovation is YouTube. There are literally hundreds of videos available, through outfits like Expert Village, offering clear, concise and watchable instructions for navigating the entire brewing process, from start to finish. For visual learners like me, this is a godsend. No longer would I need to rely on my interpretations of Papazian’s often indefinite instructions (and cloying “relax, don’t worry” condescension). Rather, if I could observe someone else brewing the same beer, step by step, and compare what I was doing (or, truthfully, not doing) against what a pro was doing, I really wouldn’t need to worry.

Perhaps the most important change is the growth in popularity of homebrewing itself and the rise of groups and clubs. The camaraderie that developed, almost spontaneously, among the evening’s attendees was both touching and telling. As each participant opened and shared his or her wares, the tasters began asking questions, some technically oriented (like, “What hops did you use?” or “How did you keep it cold enough?”) and others slightly more irreverent (like, “Are you still using an extract?”). Conversation flowed naturally from these informal probing-jibing sessions in between rounds, spawning helpful comments, such as suggestions for which beer went best with the food provided, and inspiring hilarious confessions — like the person who, after having one too many homebrews, mistakenly downed a half-filled bottle of yeast reserves (and apparently enjoyed it).

As with any shared experience, companionship and commonality beget a feeling of conviviality that can prove productive and memorable. As I mentioned, I did have one or two friends who helped me out from time to time, but mostly my “brew-my-own” adventures occurred on my own (and often, as it felt, in the dark). I imagine that, had I had such an attentive and generous group at my disposal, I might still be homebrewing to this day.

As it stands, I wish I could say I had a reawakening of affection for an old hobby that evening, that I came home full of inspiration, ready to dust off the carboy and start boiling some wort again. Alas, I still don’t think I could cut it as a homebrewer — I certainly don’t possess the spirit of adventure and entrepreneurship (or the fridge and freezer space) it would take to make beers of this caliber. No, what I have left, after 15 years, are a lot of tired, old excuses.

Instead, I’m content to be a recipient of all that energy and creativity. In fact, I can’t think of a better way to waste a lifetime, one or two hours at a time.

As always, let us know what you think. Have you ever tried brewing your own beer? Or would you rather be the beneficiary of someone else’s (positive) homebrewing experience?  Let us know by leaving a comment below.

And be sure to visit (and join) the Scribbleskiff page on Facebook (find it here), where you can partake in wall-to-wall conversations, find additional information and suggestions from readers, and more.

I’m finally getting on the ball and updating our beer page. Head on over to read about our search for Microbrews of Quality.

The Great American Beer Festival is making its annual trip to Denver!  The festival runs from September 24-26, and features over 400 breweries showcasing over 1800 beers!

Buy your tickets in advance – THEY WILL SELL OUT!

To learn more and to purchase tickets, visit www.greatamericanbeerfestival.com

To keep up on all the important updates, follow fortcollinsbeer on twitter (@fortcollinsbeer).

by Brian

Mikey and I took a run down San Diego way a while back and were looking for another great place to review.  Luckily, this time I did a little thinkin’ ahead and called my friend Talia, to pick her brain about where I could find some delicious pizza.  She let me know that Pizza Port was, hands down, the best pizza in all of San Diego.  And with a recommendation like that, how could we not go check it out?

Some of you might have noticed that it’s been a while since we did our last pizza review.  The reason for that isn’t the fact that we started hating pizza, but instead that Mikey and I have been struggling to find places that live up to our rigid standards.  Pizza is the only thing on the site that we rate (a la Zagat) and, so far, we’ve yet to have a pizza crack 80 on our 100 point scale. (Otherwise known as the Pizza Measuring System or PMS)  Our last pizza was the highest scoring yet and it only managed a 76.

Is there a new Godfather in our pizza mafia?  Keep reading to find out…

Pizza Port – On Highway 101 in Solana Beach

The first thing that I have to say about this place is that the location is perfect.  It certainly didn’t hurt that it was 88 degrees and sunny.  Oh, and there were about a gazillion beautiful women walking around which definitely added to the ambiance a little.  But the real surprise was how cool everyone was.  Mikey and I probably met about 10-15 people while we were sitting there eating and drinking away and not one of them was douchy in the slightest.

So we made our entrance and were immediately confronted with tough decisions.  Not with what pizza to get (since we always order the same thing), but with which of the microbrews we were going to drink first.

I’m a fan of the hoppy brews, so I went with their award winning Swami’s IPA, while Mikey got a Commando Scottish Ale. The hops in the Swami’s was more intense than any IPA I’ve ever drank.  It ended up being a little too much, even for me.  Don’t get me wrong, it was fantastical.  It’s just that for such a hot day, I needed something a little lighter.  Another great thing about Pizza Port is that they brew their own beers in-house.  Because I love you guys so much and want you to be happy, I made it my persoanal mission to sneak back and get a picture of their top-secret brewing area.

So Mikey and I settled in with our beers and prepared for a long wait.  Instead, our pizza was out within 15 minutes, which I thought was pretty impressive considering the number of people who ordered ahead of us.  As it turns out, we hadn’t seen busy.  Later that day, the crowds swelled until the point that you could barely move through the restaurant.  I’m just estimating, but there were easily 20 people waiting for takeout at any given time.

So let’s get down to brass tacks.  Was the pizza any good?  Hell yes, it was!  Mikey and I differ in opinion on some of the details, but we both agreed that it was the best that we’ve reviewed so far.

Rather than write it all out in nice little paragraphs, I’m just going to give you our opinions on each category.

Dough – Mikey 8, Me 9

Mikey took points off because he got a couple pieces that had some residual flour on the crust.  I didn’t have the same issue and thought the dough was both crispy and chewy and cooked just the right amount of time.

Sauce – Mikey 9, Me 9

We both agreed that this was the first pizza place to give us enough sauce on our pie.  We had just about lost hope, but here comes Pizza Port to save the day.  Not only was there enough sauce, but it was also pretty unique, having a tart and tangy flavor.

Cheese – Mikey 7, Me 8

Mikey deducted points here because he didn’t think that there was enough cheese.  I thought the amount was right on and based that opinion on the fact that my toppings stayed glued to the pizza for the most part.  It wasn’t the best cheese I’ve ever had, but they added some herbs to it that put it into the above average category in my book.

Toppings – Mikey 8, Me 8

Despite the scores, this was the best part of the judging for both of us.  First of all, we both agreed that the sausage was the best out of any pizza we’ve judged thusfar.  Our main complaint was with the mushrooms.  Mikey described them as “small, and harder to find than a buffalo at a petting zoo.”  They were also a little on the dry side, which was surprising considering the fact that they were cooked underneath the cheese.  We were also a little put off by the fact that the pepperoni was cooked underneath.  It was good quality, but without being on top, it never got the chance to get that crispy, greasy texture that we love in our pepperoni.

Overall Score – Mikey 8.5, Me 9.5

Mikey called this pizza “great” in comparison to all of the others we’ve reviewed for the site.  He really liked the place, but expressed a wish that the inside be slightly cooler than “Lucifer’s jacuzzi.”  As for me, I really enjoyed Pizza Port.  We made some great new friends, drank some quality beers and ate our best pizza yet.  The only reason why I couldn’t give them a perfect 10 overall was the fact that they weren’t within cab distance of my house.  Open up a Thousand Oaks location and then we’ll talk.  On second thought, I’ll just move.

Final Scores – Mikey 40.5, Me 43.5 for a Total Score of 84 – (Goodfellas – Good Anytime)

One quick side note…

If you go to Pizza Port on a Thursday night, be sure to get in on their free beer glass promotion.  $5 bucks gets you a pint of their featured brewer (Firestone in our case) and a free pint glass to take home with you.  These things are sturdy, manly-man drinking vessels and are pretty freakin’ classy too.  Plus, as far as I know they’ve never featured Coors or Pabst Blue Ribbon, so you know you’re going to be drinking the good stuff.

by Brian

This is a place I’ve been wanting to try for quite a while.  Lucky for me, we had a few readers who wanted to try it too.  So last week, after a long day of work, I hopped in my car and cruised down PCH to Santa Monica toward an evening that can only be described as epic.  Out of the three people I was meeting for dinner, I had only met one.  My buddy Chris, who actually shot the pictures for this post, was in town from NYC and wanted to find out if the burgers were as good as everyone said.  The other members of our group were Liisa, who is an awesome and frequent commenter on the site and Courtney, a NYC transplant who is just starting to figure out how awesome L.A. is.  I was glad that EatMeCalifornia could help with that.

Father’s Office – On Montana Ave., between 10th and 11th Streets, Santa Monica

Father’s Office was very similar to another one of my favorite burger joints: The Apple Pan.  They’re both tiny, hole-in-the-wall places, they’re both famous for their burgers and they both strive to keep things simple.  Father’s Office is a little more “upscale” than The Apple Pan, but has a similar attitude when it comes to dining in their fine establishment.  The Apple Pan makes you wait your turn, standing around the lone counter, but FO, once filled to capacity, forms a line outside so you can patiently wait your turn to go inside.  Both places also frown on substitutions, with the Apple Pan being the more lenient.  If you want something changed at Father’s Office, they’ll just turn you down.

So this place is not for the picky.  What else?  It’s not for big groups either.  In fact, the four of us lucked out with getting our table.  Courtney and I got their early and shared half of a table with two random dudes.  When Liisa and Chris met us inside, the guys were just leaving so we got to snag their seats.  I don’t think that’s the norm, as I spied a ton of people just hovering around waiting to slip into an open seat.  If the worst thing I can say about a place is that it’s hard to get a seat, you know it must be good.

Once we were settled into our table we went to the bar and placed our orders.  At FO, there are no waiters, just busboys who bring out your food and take away your empty beer glasses.  Speaking of beer, FO has one of the most impressive selections of beer that you’ll find anywhere.  They have about 30 beers on draft and plenty more in bottles, with their specialties being California microbrews and Belgian ales.  They also have a good wine selection, which hopefully Liisa will comment on because I stuck to the beer.  With so many amazing choices on tap, how could I not?

I could write a whole post on the beers I tried, but this is a food website, so I’ll give you what you want: just the facts food.

I quickly realized that nearly every single person in this place was gettin’ down on the burger.  Not that I was shocked, mind you, just aware.  I had heard about the unique Father’s Office burger, but until I actually took my first bite, I just figured it was all hype.  It was not.

The Father’s Office burger comes one way… theirs.  It’s an all beef patty, on a soft roll with Maytag blue and Gruyere cheeses, caramelized onion and arugula.  We all ordered our burgers mid rare, which ended up more on the rare side, but I didn’t mind.  It was clear that these guys were using above average ground sirloin and the grill, that charred the outside of my burger to perfection, also provided more than enough temperature for the middle.

If there was an aspect of the burger that I found lacking it might be that the cheese was only a big flavor when you were taking a bite off the side.  For a burger with two pungent cheeses like that, I was hoping to get a little more in the flavor department.  The main factor neutralizing the cheese was the caramelized onion.  They reduce that onion until it has an almost jelly-like consistency.  I actually thought someone had put some kind of jam on my burger after the first bite.  Then the flavor slapped me in the face and I realized what I was dealing with.  I’ve never had onion like that in my life and I don’t think anyone else does this on a burger, so if you’re a burger fan, this is one you have to experience (at least once).

The best choice for burger accompaniment is a basket of the sweet potato fries.  They are the best example of this particular dish that I’ve ever had.  Usually I find two things wrong with sweet potato fries.  First, they go soggy too fast and second, they are just too sweet.  These were neither.  They were crispy on the outside and soft and warm inside.  Also, they were made with a nice amount of black pepper on the outside, which made them perfect in my eyes.

After eating our burgers, Liisa asked one of the bartenders, “What was on the menu, beside the burger, that was flying out of the kitchen?”  His immediate reply was the soft-shell crab, a dish that I’ve never had before.

Aside from being beautiful on the plate, it was delicious.  They gave us 5 small crab and the term “soft-shell” was certainly applicable.  Liisa told us about eating the dish several times in NY, where the crab’s shell was a little more difficult to bite through.  When I ate mine, I couldn’t even tell that there was a shell on it.  The batter that they coated the crab in was light and well seasoned, but the real star of the dish, in my opinion, was the red jalapeno sauce that coated the bottom of the plate.  It looks like a tomato based sauce, so be careful, because it actually has a fair amount of heat to it.  Needless to say, I’m a fan.

I’ve mentioned, on a number of occasions, that the people you eat with greatly influence how you feel about a meal.  Despite the fact that I had an absolute blast with Chris, Liisa and Courtney, though, I still think that I would have loved Father’s Office.  Is $12 a little expensive for a burger?  Sure.  But it’s on par with The Counter Burger and the atmosphere at Father’s Office is worth the difference in price, as is the enhanced beer selection.  Bottom line, this is a cool place to eat, drink, hang out and generally have a good time.  If you don’t go to crazy at the bar, you’ll end up walking out having had a great time without feeling like you spent too much.  After all, it’s all about what you get for your hard earned cash, right?

Needless to say, I’ll be going back to Father’s Office anytime I get within’ 10 miles of Santa Monica.  The hype around their burger is well deserved and hopefully I can do my part to add to it with my recommendation.  I don’t know that I’ll ever get the chance to eat there with as cool a group as I had last week.  But even if I don’t, at least I’ll have superb food and drink to fall back on.

The Hopleaf, my favorite bar, made the NYTimes!  I had no idea that the official name is actually “Mary & Louise’s Hopleaf Bar”.  Check out the article on microbrews in Chi-Town.  Definitely my scene.

Michael & Louise’s Hopleaf Bar in Chicago, Amanda Rivkin for The New York Times

by Mikey

First off – Raise your glass to the King of Pop. No matter how funky, odd, or down right strange you thought Michael Jackson was, you can not deny he put together some of the greatest music we’ve ever heard. I myself even had my own red leather jacket and glove back in the 80’s. Yeah that’s right, I did, and I’m proud of it. Anyone who doesn’t think Bad and Thriller contain some of the best beats in music history probably smells like cheese and shops at gas stations for groceries. Of all the Jacksons we could have lost I would have prefered Tito since he always looks like he’s up to no good. Right now you all need to head to your local karaoke joint and pick a song. If you pick Billy Jean you best do a leg snap and a crotch grab. Shamon!

Ventura has its own award winning micro brewery. The Anacapa Brewery recently won some major awards at the LA County Fair. Winning ribbons at this fair for beer is definitely something to boast about. Brian and I had already decided to get our drink on there before we knew about the awards, but after tipping back a few of their classics it was easy to see why they won.

Anacapa Brewing Company – Main St., Ventura

For this review we are going to concentrate on beer, beer, and then on some beer. Of course we will throw a little food in there but not too much because we don’t want to ruin your buzz. Plus, any night you’re going to be out drinking you need to lay a nice foundation before you drink, pizza, bread, burgers, burritos, you know, stuff that will soak up the tremendous amounts of liquid that are about to invade.

Drink it in Ventura, it always goes down smooth.

B and I both started off with a sampler of the beers to get a little bit of everything. You get an espresso stout, blonde, ipa, a wheat, and their pear cider. First off, the espresso was way over the top for me, but that doesn’t make it bad. If you like espresso you may be in for a real treat. If you don’t like espresso then your gonna make a face like you just got hit in the jejunum. It is really strong. The IPA is bitter. Just like it should be and pretty much covers all the ground an IPA should. The blonde is clean and crisp and would be perfect for runners at the LA Marathon instead of that water and Gatorade they pass out. The wheat is good and I pretty much will only order wheat’s right from the brew houses that make them otherwise they taste kinda funny to me. The pear is like a little pear spritzer its good for those of you who like pretending they are drinking an adult beverage. It’s really sweet and reminded me a lot of what I used to buy for girls to make sure they’d show up to my parties.

The Brewery itself is a nice little place. There is a very long bar, which is a must for most of us alcoholics and they have some great outside seating on Main St if you’re staying for dinner.

We went with the bbq chicken pizza as suggested by one of the 3 owners we talked to. All three owners are great to talk to and it was here we learned that there IPA had placed 2nd, their Seaward Golden had placed 2nd, and their Porter placed 3rd. This is a really great accomplishment because there are a lot of beers in this competition, so to place this high with not one, but 3 beers, deserves the big thumbs up. Just for the beer and atmosphere alone I’d say you gotta pop in and have a drink.

The bbq pizza was adequate. It’s not the best pizza you’re ever going to eat, but they give you plenty of chicken. The cheese is strong and fragrant and the sauce has a really good tang that sneaks up on you like a ninja with Dr Scholl’s in his shoes. The one suggestion I would make is that they dice up the cilantro. It was more like some one just shook it over the pizza and when you ate it you were eating full leaves.

The size is good for an appetizer but its priced closer to a full fledged pizza. So if you get one, don’t share.

Anacapa is a great place to hang out and drink in Ventura. The beer is great, they have new brews all the time, a few TV’s and a great atmosphere. The owners are knowledgeable and friendly and pour like Jedi masters. As a place to get your nights off to a good start, Anacapa gets the EatMeCalifornia high five of approval.

another recommendation for places to check out if you have a railpass in japan: the baird beer brewery in numazu, shizuoka prefecture!

basic story behind the brewery: around 1994, japan finally allowed microbreweries to go ahead and start selling their own beers.  this american guy above, bryan baird, set up shop in the industrial town of numazu, and i was finally able to stop by and try out everything he had to offer (yes, good public transportation meant my dad and i really did try everything!).  the brewery has a nice little pub right next to numazu’s fish market, and yes, they are very english-friendly for all you non-japanese speaking travelers.

so if you are a beer fan and are hitting up tokyo, i definitely recommend you try the big brews available all around the country.  just be sure to order a nama (生); my favorites are suntory malts and kirin.  and i don’t care if you’ve tried them here in the states, because all of the asahi, kirin, and sapporo that you can get in this country is brewed in canada (it’s cheaper to send the ingredients and brew it there, and then send it to the u.s. as an “import”).  the japanese versions are definitely different, and better!!

but if you’re looking for a more unique experience (and usually better beer!), go support some japanese microbrews (jibiiru 地ビール)!  aside from baird, i definitely recommend fujizakura in yamanashi or echigo in niigata.  or better yet, support the japan craft beer association at their annual great japan beer festivals!!  sure, some of them are terrible, but it sure makes a good excuse to travel around the country

Father’s Day is Sunday, and if you haven’t already put a card in the mail, there’s still time!

As I said about Mother’s Day, being unemployed does not excuse you from honoring that parent who has put up with you for, I’m guessing, 20+ years. Dad deserves it. That said, I know you don’t have $$$$ to spend. And if you’re reading this and have yet to get it together, you’re in luck. Here are five gifts you can get easily, quickly and, most importantly, cheaply. I know it’s a cliche, but it’s always the thought that counts.

1. For the Beer Lover- Grab a painted or galvanized metal bucket or perhaps a small cooler and head over to your neighborhood liquor or grocery store. Fill with six different hand-selected microbrews or interesting import beers. Tailor them to your Dad’s taste, favorite locales or vacation spots. For example, if he loves New Orleans, grab a mix of Abita beers. You can probably put something together for around $20-30
2. For the Sports Fan – Is your major or minor league baseball team in town Father’s Day weekend? Grab a couple of cheap-seat tickets on the fly and spend an afternoon or evening cheering on the home team. I know you can grab Atlanta Braves tickets for very reasonable prices, leaving you a few bucks for hot dogs or peanuts
3. For the Movie Buff - Grab a DVD of his all-time favorite classic movie or childhood cartoon (My Dad LOVED getting a special-edition DVD of “Blazing Saddles” as well as “Bullwinkle & Rocky” DVDs) or treat Dad to a matinee at your local theater. There are some great flicks out right now, namely “The Hangover”, “Star Trek”, “Angels & Demons” and “The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3″
4. For the Reader – Personally select a brand-new hardcover novel or hot nonfiction title if your dad can’t put a book down. Just one volume can cost anywhere from $15-30. If you are a member of a bookstore savings program, you can even get $$ or certain percentages off. I love browsing the bookstore aisles, tailoring a selection to my Dad’s interests, habits and hobbies. I’ve been able to introduce him to new thriller writers as well as intriguing political and sports titles. It’s a gift that keeps on giving
5. Yourself – If you’re in town or within driving distance, hop in the car and make an in-person visit. I promise that quality time together will make Dad happier than anything you can buy. Your only cost is gas for your car.

Happy Father’s Day!

Join us for the 6th Annual Hood River Hops Fest — one of three fresh hop tastivals sponsored by the Oregon Brewers Guild and the Oregon Bounty program of Travel Oregon.

The event runs from noon to 9 p.m. in downtown Hood River, in the spacious parking area between Cascade and Columbia Streets, 5th and 7th Avenues.

We’re planning to host more than 20 Northwest brewers, each providing one of their favorite brews, plus a fresh-hopped brew just for this event.

Admission is free. Wristbands and tasting mugs for those 21 and over run $5. Taste tokens good for a 4-ounce pour run $1.

For information, or to volunteer, contact us.

I need to start off by saying this is WAY more than a pub. However, after a quick review of the food, I’ll switch my focus to the beer.

BJ’s Brewhouse & Restaurant

We were up at Disney Holiday Townhome (DHT) for a long weekend to re-supply and do some deep cleaning. It was the Saturday evening before Mother’s Day (our traditional night out for Mom), and we were having a bit of a problem deciding where to go for dinner. We were already at The Loop mall, so my wife suggested we try BJ’s Brewhouse. Knowing that is was also a micro-brewery, I had no problem with her decision!

Wow! What a pleasant surprise! Located in the 2nd phase of The Loop mall on the Osceola Parkway, BJ’s has something for everyone. Sure, they had the microbrews, but they also had a great selection of wines and mixed drinks. They even had microbrewed rootbeer!! (BTW, if you are even a modest fan of rootbeer, you must try BJ’s – great stuff!)

Food

BJ’s menu is very wide-ranging. From pizza and pasta, to soups and salads. From burgers and sandwiches, to full blown entrees. Knowing that I would be ordering the beer sampler and we’d be getting salads, we decided to forego the appetizers.

My daughter had the classic stuffed baked potato, which she loved. It was so big she actually had to take it home! My son surpised me with a selection of the New Orleans Jamalaya. It was a perfect selection for him – spicy (he’s had a cast-iron stomach since he was 10!), a variety of meats, and good mix of peppers, sauteed onions, and tomatoes.

My wife and I went with a couple of entrees. My wife decided on the blackened fresh Atlantic salmon. We both seem to be a bit picky when it comes to blackened anything. We feel that term gets thrown around way too much to describe items that are NOT blackened, but merely seasoned with Cajun-type spices. However, she was duly satisfied with her choice to go with the blackened instead of the broiled salmon.

I had the New York strip, which was perfect. Cooked precisely as I had requested (medium-well), the steak had great flavor. Not a bad piece of meat on the entire strip!

Beer!

If you’re a first-timer to BJ’s like I was (and you like beer), I’d go with the sampler, which features all of the beers brewed by BJ’s. I’m guessing here, but I believe you get 5 ounce servings.

BJ’s Brewhouse Blonde – a light Kolsch style beer. I’m not a fan of wheat beers, and there IS a hint of wheat flavor. In spite of this, I would still rate this a good beer.

Harvest Hefeweizen – again, I’m not a fan of wheat beers. I tried 2 big swigs, but finally had to pass on this one. I’m sure a fan of wheat beers would like this one.

Piranha Pale Ale – OK, I started seeing a pattern with the light beers. Even this one had a slight hint of wheat. I guess this would be my only complaint about the BJ’s beers. Fellas – you can make a light beer without wheat!! Seriously! Once again, however, in spite of this, I would rate this a very drinkable beer.

BJ’s Jeremiah Red – maybe it’s just because the next few beers are in my wheelhouse of preference, but I think the darker beers are where the BJ’s brewmeisters really excel. Fruity, as you would expect in a “red”, but also very malty. This beer had great flavor. Watch out – this one packs a punch at 7.3%. I would rate this beer as very good to excellent.

Nutty Brewnette – this one was a bit of a surprise. I expected a more traditional British brown ale. However, this one has a very hoppy bite that I’m use to in a lighter beer.  I would rate this beer as very good.

Tatonka Stout – I ate the majority of my steak with this beer. I have to say, the pairing was perfect! Awesome flavor. Very rich. Yet another suprise – topping out at 8.5%, this represents BJ’s strongest brew. If you’re a Guinness drinker you know that Guinness is nowhere near this for alcoholic content, which is around 4%! I would rate this beer as excellent.

BJ’s P.M. Porter – I finished off my steak with this beer, and then just sat back and enjoyed the rest of this fine porter. Thick, rich, and slightly sweet, it is the perfect after dinner beer. Who needs coffee when you have a porter? I would rate this beer as excellent.

For a more in-depth (and professional!) description of the beers, check out the beer page on BJ’s website.

Prices

Prices are very reasonable for this type of restaurant. It’s not Wolfgang Puck’s, but it’s no Olive Garden either. Even with my wife’s cocktail, my beer sampler, a couple of fairly high-end entrees, and a couple of desserts, we paid around $80, including the 20% tip. Not bad for a family of four!

Summary

Overall, I would highly recommend this restaurant. Great food, great beer, wide selection. Oh! And the service was excellent! That may be the most high-end part of this restaurant. My family will definitely be back! In fact, we may have to do it for Father’s Day. (Hey, Mom got to choose the last time!)

Up Next

Maybe some minor attractions and/or a restaurant. We don’t have annual passes to Disney this year, so we’ll have some time to check out all of the many non-Disney activities. It should be an adventure – stay tuned!

by Brian

For those of you who have been keeping up with Mikey and I, you probably already know that Mikey and I had a recent adventure in San Diego (Which according to Ron Burgundy means “a whale’s vagina”).  We had an awesome time while we were there and figured that between fine cigars and pints of cold brew, we’d hit a restaurant or two.  Fortunately, we never had to stop drinking because we found a place in the Gaslamp that brews their own.

Rock Bottom Restaurant and Brewery – G Street, Gaslamp District San Diego

Get it? We've hit rock bottom. I'm such a dork!

This trip was completely unplanned.  Mikey and I didn’t have time to consult our informants to get the lowdown on where to eat and imbibe.  But I think we did a pretty decent job with this place, all things considered.

Rock Bottom is housed in the Carriage Works historical building, built in 1890, in the Gaslamp district of San Diego.  San Diego is an awesome town, but the Gaslamp and downtown as a whole have experienced a renaissance of sorts over the past few years.  There are a ton of places to eat down there and if any of you readers have suggestions for our return trip, let us know in the comments.

The restaurant as a whole is very similar in feel to BJ’s Brewery, which many of you will be familiar with.  They have a couple more homebrews than BJ’s, but all the rest of it is the same.  Higher end pub faire and a comfortable atmosphere are the hallmarks.

As an appetizer of sorts, Mikey and I decided to try the beer sampler.  They had all the standards: Blonde, Pale, Red, Hef, Stout and Porter and they threw in a few bonus beers too including an IPA and their special Cinco de Mayo Lager.  The beers were all pretty good, but none really stood out above the rest.  They did look impressive on the table though.

The only bad thing about the beer is that because the servings are small (4oz) the beer tends to get warm a little too quickly.  The easy fix for this is to drink fast.  But if you aren’t into that, I suggest drinking the lighter beers first as the darker brews tend to do better at closer to room temperature.

To eat, Mikey ordered the Chicken Mac & Cheese and I got the Chicken Fried Chicken.  I disagree with Mikey’s pick on principle.  It is my firm belief that the only meat that should ever go into mac and cheese is bacon.  Anything else is sacrilege.  Because he broke the laws of nature, Mikey was punished with a merely average mac.

As many of you know, I am a fan of all things chicken fried, which tends to weigh heavily on my vegan-centric mind.  That’s why I am so thankful that you guys read this stuff and give me a reason to eat all kinds of unhealthy food on a regular basis.  Thanks for that, by the way.

My chicken fried chicken was pretty average too.  My biggest complaint was that there just wasn’t enough batter on the chicken.  Take note guys, the fried outside is always more important than the inside.  At the end of the day, chicken is chicken and beef is beef, but crispy, perfectly spiced, crunchy awesomeness is forever.  The potatoes were nicely done and the gravy was rich and savory, but with the chicken falling flat, the dish was a flop overall.

At this point you’re probably thinking that this is not a place that you would want to go.  Let me tell you why you’re wrong.  I’ve said many times before that good service and good people can turn average food into a great dining experience.  I suppose the same can be said for booze, but that’s beside the point.

Our server, Grant, was part waiter, part tour guide, part ninja.  Not only did he take good care of us and exhibit a “working” knowledge of the beer, but he also saved me 24 bucks in parking at Horton Plaza by letting us know where to get validated for free.  That’s above and beyond in my book.  He also gave us directions for parking for the Padres game, which could have been a disaster if we had not been educated.

Grant’s service is a perfect example for how much people matter in the restaurant biz.  I could be eating the best steak in the nicest restaurant, but if I’m being ignored there is no way in hell I’m ever going back.  Eating out should be an enjoyable experience and it should make you feel good.  Grant, EatMeCalifornia salutes you for a job well done.  Tell your boss to give you a raise or something.  We would do it, but we’re still kinda broke.

I would recommend this place for bigger groups and beer drinkers.  The food is pretty basic and a little pricey for what it is, but this is where happy hour deals come in handy.  The beer sampler alone is an experience worth checking out.

Also, if you are a baseball fan, you’ve gotta check out Petco Park.  It is clean and beautiful and the exact opposite of the Oakland Colosseum that we visited a few weeks back.  We got seats at the box office minutes before the game.  They were in the 20th row right behind home plate and they were only $55 per ticket.  They had cheaper seats, but Mikey and I believe that life is too short for bad seats.

This pitch made a guest appearance in the left field bleachers about .5 seconds after I took the shot.

If you do manage to take in a game, make sure you visit one of the Ruby’s diner locations in the park to get the richest chocolate shake you’ve ever had.   (When in rome…)

All in all, it was a fantastic night in San Diego.  Hopefully Mikey and I will be back for an extended stay in the near future.  So make with the suggestions people.  We need to know where to eat next.