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Just Watch.

Monday 17th November 2008

In an episode which has reached the frustration levels similar to that of not being able to reach an itch on one’s back, Hollyoaks has managed to serve up

‘All-about-me’ Calvin accuses sweet innocent Carmel of cheating.

Michaela turns to alcohol to ease her troubles whilst her dead sister’s husband (Dom) is befriended by an accessory-to-murder (Justin) and an abusive partner (Ste).

And gothic Lauren turns on the teenage charm that would have any parent with a child verging on ‘young adulthood’ breaking out in a cold sweat at the thought of their child turning into the increasingly gobby Lauren Valentine.

Calvin, finding a packet of condoms in his wife’s bag (they belong to his younger sister), jumps to the typical ‘Oaks conclusion that she is cheating on him.

If Calvin was married to Mercedes or Mandy he could be forgiven for this outrageous and slightly unfounded comment.

But he is married to the innocent Carmel McQueen. The one woman in the ‘Oaks who has the ability to support her family through a great deal of thick and thin; who constantly attempts to ‘do the right thing’; and one of the only women in the ‘Oaks who would never dream of cheating on her man.

Turning down the advances of newcomer Mark (he just swans into the ‘Oaks, sleeping with our women willy-nilly! Damaging relationships. Just who does he think he is?) Carmel demonstrates her dedication to her marriage with Calvin, only to be received with the comforting words ‘it feels like I don’t even know you’.

Risking cracking the television screen with off-the-radar noise levels, shouting at the set only makes the viewing of the scene that little bit less frustrating.

Tanned Barnesy (overdoing the sun-bed of late) finds a drunk and desolate Michaela in the arms of unknown man.

Scaring him off with the threat of Barnes-style violence, Mike and Michaela find themselves locked in a DMC (deep and meaningful conversation) at the ‘Oaks bus stop (there for effect, buses are never seen in the ‘Oaks, only black cabs).

It is bewildering and almost unheard-of that they do not engage on a sneaky Hollyoaks smooch.

Newt and Lauren are still causing unnecessary teenage havoc.

In between finding, using and losing other peoples’ credit cards and attempting to lose their virginity, it is a wonder that they can keep up their high maintenance appearance.

Robin (Dom) has escaped from his place next to Batman (Tony) and has become a Musketeer… with Ste and Justin. Unlikely trio, but every superhero has to move on at some point…

If you want to stop at Frustration Station, get on the train to Hollyoaks.

Upshaw’s death, labor strife further cloud pension controversy as ex-players grow increasingly bitter

Fallout: Ex-Colt Harvey Armstrong, making a tackle in 1988 (above) and as he looks today (below), has battled back and knee pain for years. - Associated Press file photo

Mike Barnes broke his neck while playing defensive end in 1981, the last of his nine seasons with the Baltimore Colts. He suffers from severe arthritis and disc conditions in his neck and back, and has problems with his right shoulder and right foot.

Barnes, 58, still works. He has to. His NFL pension, which he took at age 46 rather than wait for full benefits at 55, is $1,500 a month.

“Ask yourself if you could live on $18,000 a year in 2008 without medical,” said Barnes, a Pro Bowl player in 1977 who now lives in Meadville, Pa. “My health-care premiums are $8,000 a year for husband and wife, plus $1,000 deductible. Half my ‘pension’ goes to health care.”

Still, Barnes considers himself extremely lucky.

“I don’t have to deal with the terrible pain so many guys do,” he said. READ MORE