One of the most over used plot devices in the history of Science Fiction and Horror is, of course, the lighting bolt that causes the robot/computer/what-have-you. I know I’ve said previously that the well can’t run dry on ideas. And I stand by that. But this plot device is just plain lazy. You know what happens when lightening hits a computer? It doesn’t run around plotting the end of mankind, for one thing.

We get that it’s a homage to the Boris Karloff Frankenstein. We liked the movie, too. But please, please, please, don’t just throw lightning around and leave it at that. Give us a reason why the bolt is doing this, for God’s sake!

You know what else doesn’t have any effect on computers? Soda pop! I spilled a Coca Cola on my key board once. Did I get a diabolical schemer plotting my demise? Of course not! I got a ruined keyboard and strange looks as I tried lapping up the spilled Coca Cola.

…

…

I like Coca Cola, okay? Sue me.

What follows are a few films in which lightning and the like created Life from our friend the robots, the PC, and the like. With one or two of them stretching the point a bit. I’m sure I am “stealth”-fully avoiding one or two of them, so feel free to point them out to me.

• Electric Dreams – An architect’s budding romance might be nipped in the bud by the growing jealousy of his sentient computer. See, here’s the thing. I remember seeing this movie. I remember liking this movie. I just can’t tell you word one about this movie. For instance, I thought it was a Pepsi that “created” the computer’s intelligence. Now I find out it was champagne. If it had been a Jack Daniels, imagine the kind of film it would have been! Or not.

• Weird Science - An electrical storm helps two nerds create the perfect woman. Which is redundant.¹ I remember, back in my fabled youth, my cousin Julie trying to talk Brother Eric and myself into seeing this film. We saw Back to the Future instead. Good times. Good times.

  Too bad I had to spoil my life by actually watching this flick. But what can you do?

• Chopping Mall - Four couples lovemaking in a deserted mall is interrupted by four killer security guard robots. Actually, um, this one isn’t that bad. It’s not good, don’t get me wrong, but it’s entertaining. In a completely predictable way.

• Ghost in the Machine – An electrical storm/CAT scan combination sends the soul of a serial killer into electrical systems including computers and video games. Is this stretching the point a little? Probably. But it does show how overused this plot device is. As to the movie… It’s a slasher flick. Those aren’t staggeringly original to begin with. This barely gets past it’s “original” premise.

• How to Make a Monster - A motion capture suit is brought to life to bring violence to video game creators. This is one of those movie where the ending makes you hate the film makers. Hate them lots.

• Short Curcuit - A lightning bolt turns a battle droid into a loveable loon who only wants peace. You know the type of loon, too. The one you want to hit over the head with a sledgehammer AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN! I deny watching this movie. But if I ever had, I would tell you this is the reason Alley Sheedy’s movie career tanked. This and Man’s Best Friend.

Dog Soldiers

A group of British soldiers on a routine exercise encounter a pack of werewolves

Had anyone asked me, I would have said the perfect werewolf movie would be a tragedy, like The Wolf Man or American Werewolf in London. I would have also thought that a Night-of-the-Living-Dead-with-werewolves would have paled by comparison.

I would have been wrong. This was a damn entertaining flick. Well acted, quick moving, fun. If you’ve seen a Night-of-the-Living-Dead type flick, you probably know the score here, but don’t let that stop you from checking it out.

One small word here: I watched this off Sci Fi Channel, where the viewer was wonderfully protected from all the nasty swearing. However, the gore scenes were intact. Including the disemboweling of Sean Pertwee (the Doctor’s son!) So, you know, there’s nothing wrong with their standards or anything

Pon/Phone

A reporter finds herself up to her neck in ghostly happenings, possession, and mad dog killers.

This South Korean horror movie really wishes it was a Japanese horror movie, ala Ringu/Ring. It doesn’t quite make it style wise.

Over-all, I was enjoying it right up to the climax, where there was a bit of a misstep that ruined the whole thing for me. Give it a shot, if you want, though. There’s worse ways to kill your time.

It Waits

A pretty ranger lady is threatened by an ancient evil.

One of the writers on this was Richard Christian Matheson, a damn fine writer. I hope no one holds this movie against him.

It tries real hard to build a character, which is nice and all, if you have tolerable actors and, maybe, a more original plot. Sadly, none of that is in evidence here. We have an ancient evil who is super strong and fast and utterly incapable of taking out one lone person. Nice.

A little more work here and there and we might have had something. As is…

(Note: like Dog Soldiers, I witness this cut up.)

Night of the Demons

A group of horny teens gather at a deserted funeral parlor for a Halloween party. Unfortunately the funeral parlor is haunted by a demon who kills and possesses the party goers one by one.

Can anyone explain to me why I want to see this movie again? It’s not like it’s any different from any of the hundred or so slasher/zombie movies out there. The characters are all card board cut outs and unlikeable at that. Not real wit is displayed (Though the lipstick scene is more than a little disturbing). It’s just a bad movie. And not even a “Ha-ha” bad, either.

And yet, every now and again, I feel the urge to see this movie.

There is something wrong with me. Oh so wrong.

Snakes on a Plane

A young man witnesses a murder and is being flown to L.A. The man he saw do the deed decides that the best way to handle the situation is to let loose a horde of snakes on a plane. Hilarity ensues.

I really wanted to like this movie more than I did. As it is, it’s pretty much criticism proof. I mean, what more do you want with a title like that? The acting is adequate, and I suppose so is the plot, too.

Problem is, it’s all a mass of well worn cliches that I’ve seen far, far too often. I just couldn’t get behind it.

Who knows? Maybe in a few years, I’ll change my mind.

Superman Returns

Superman returns from a trip through space to find Lois Lane had a kid, found a lover, and earned a Pulitzer on how the world doesn’t need him. Meanwhile, arch villain Lex Luthor has stolen some crystals from Superman’s Fortress of Solitude and is hatching an evil scheme.

The action scenes in this movie are really spectacular. Worth of the Man of Steel.

The rest of the movie? As dull as dirt. Outside of Puma Man, I haven’t ever seen a super hero flick as dull as this.

I’d rather watch Night of the Demons again.

God, do I need help…

More Mini Reviews! Such fun. Three this time, of varying quality and worth.

Night of the Blood Beast

A space pilot miraculously returns to life after a devastating crash to find himself pregnant with alien spore. Meanwhile, the papa alien is roaming about causing havoc.

Paging Professor Quatermass and Beluah from Venus. Your plots have been stolen and mangled together. Quite the mess, no hope for salvation.

That’s probably unkind and unfair. But… This movie did have some potential. I started watching it, giving it the full benefit of the doubt, and bit by bit it lost me. It wasn’t the big headed alien or the questionable science, or even the pilot, who’s continued existence is not quite adequately explained. It was just an overwhelming sense of tedium brought to the proceedings. I couldn’t help but think that maybe if it had Roger Corman as the director it might have been a contender. But alas, Corman was only an executive producer.

El sonido prehistórico/Sound of Horror

Treasure hunters disturb an invisible dinosaur and fun is had by all… save the viewers of this film.

This is one dull movie.

A story about an invisible dinosaur sounds promising enough. I guess. In principle. But in practice…

The monster doesn’t show up until half way through the film, and by that time you’ve heard so much about this treasure, the people looking for the treasure, how weak women are, and so on that you start praying for the monster to arrive.

Or fast forwarding to the monster bits.

Which was what I did.

Be warned: The monster bits aren’t worth it.

Dead End

A father tries a new route and sends his family into a nightmare.

And now for something completely different: a good Horror movie.

Anyone who has spent as much time watching Horror films as I have will know where this one’s heading long before any of the protagonists do. This does not mean that this is a waste of your time. Far from it. Unlike the first film mentioned in this post, this movie plays with its basic situation, adding fresh moments and dark humor to the proceedings. In the end, it proves itself a worthy entry into its own particular subgenre.

All that effort not to spoil things and I’ve probably ruined the whole thing.

Give it a shot. I think you’ll be glad you did.

We begin our look at the new Doctor Who series. Specifically, the first season.

Rose

written by Russell T. Davis

All Rose Tyler wants to do is to go home from work. However, a chance encounter leads her to an alien invasion and the mysterious traveler known as the Doctor.

It’s interesting to compare this episode to the disastrous Doctor Who movie. In both we have a.) an introduction to the Doctor and the Tardis, b.) an introduction to a new companion for the Doctor, and c.) an introduction to an old enemy of the Doctor’s. A lot of ground to cover, I say, and all too easy to botch.

Not only does this episode handle all of this in less time than the movie, it also a.) establishes a running themes for the series (i.e. mentioning of a Time War), b.) gives the companion far more characterization, down to family member and boyfriend, and c.) has more depth and intelligence to its plot. It’s almost appalling how much better Rose is.

For all of that, though, it never feels like a Doctor Who episode to me. A certain quality is missing from Davis’s script, one that I’m not sure that I can explain. I think you’d have to have watched the first series for years to really know what I mean. It’s not that Rose is bad, or that I don’t like it. It’s just not Who. I’d have liked it a lot better had it been the opener to another show.

One last gripe: the aliens used in this episode? Could have used a bit more screen time and been a bit closer to their roots. Although I’m a bit of a fan of theirs, so I might be bias…

The End of the World

written by Russell T. Davis

The Doctor takes Rose to a very special party, one that’s about to be crashed by nasty little invaders.

This one, however, is much closer to what I want out of my Doctor Who. It feels like something out of the Seventh Doctor’s tenure. That’s not my favorite portion of Doctor Who history (always with the caveats, aren’t I?) but it’s still in the right direction for me.

A nice variety of alien life is presented here, and you can see just how much better the new series will be practical effects-wise. On this, the CGI work is extremely well done.

Once more, the characters have depth to them and you do feel for those who go. It’s around this episode I started liking Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor. It feels like he’s getting his footing here. Especially good is his line on finding Rose in trouble (”Oh well, it would be you!”), as well as his various reactions to all things related to the Time War.

I think it was about here that most of my concerns vanished for the new series. If not, then they vanished with…

The Unquiet Dead

written by Mark Gatiss

The Doctor and Rose’s next stop leads them to a spooky encounter with the undead.

This one’s one of my favorites, and I had the Dickens of a time writing the synopsis as not to spoil the fun. If you want to know what I think Doctor Who should be, look no farther than this episode. It’s smart, funny, and scary. With a few changes here and there, this story could have popped up at any point post Hartnell Doctor Who and fit right in. That it’s better than a lot of the classic Who stories is just icing on the cake.

If I had one complaint to make (and you knew I would have one complaint) , it’s the episode feels rushed. It’s a feeling I got a lot while watching the new series. Maybe I’m just too used to the old series’ pacing.

One other thing: It’s about here I started noticing one of the “failings” of Eccleston’s Doctor. I won’t go into it here, as it is a wee bit of a spoiler. However, I will discuss it in the series overview, which should come after I finish with reviewing the seasons.

I watched a couple of movies over the weekend. Neither real deserve a full review, so I decided to do a couple of minis. Of course, Open House didn’t deserve a full review and I’ve posted twice on it, but let us not dwell on that, shall we?

Horrors of Spider Island

For whatever reason, be it chemical imbalance or just a warp in my mind, I keep thinking of this as Whores of Spider Island”. There is probably something very, very wrong with me. Or the natural result of watching this movie. Who can say?

On to the plot. A plane full of dancers on route to Singapore crashes into the ocean. The survivors drift to the titular island where they spend most of their time being catty towards one another, spiced with the occasional drag-out fight. They also like spending their time frolicking in the forest and swimming at the beach. Eventually events contrive a rescue and a bit of romance.

Oh, and their manager Gary gets bit by a spider and turns into a monster whose only desire is to throttle people. But not like that’s important.

Dad and I spent this movie picking it apart MST3K style. It’s full of near endless padding, and clearly was made to have the dancers in revealing costumes. As bad as it is, I’d watch it again quicker than I would Open House. Which isn’t saying all that much, now that I think of it…

Track of the Moon Beast

A moon fragment buries a particle of itself into a man’s head. Now when the moon rises into the sky, he turns into a terrible monster that stalks the countryside looking for victims.

This one is your standard Werewolf movie, down to the doomed romance between our Moon Beast and a pretty photographer. Gaping plot holes, foreshadowing akin to an eclipse, and some really stupid characters (particularly towards the end of the film) really weighs things down. The monster and transformation effects are about what you would expect for the time period. In fact, I’ve seen worse in more modern films (specifically The Howling: New Moon Rising).

All in all, I rather enjoyed Track of the Moon Beast while I was watching it. Not sure I’d watch it again, but it’s not beyond the realm of possibilities that I would.

End Notes

1. According to the IMdB, Horrors of Spider Island had nude scenes in its original form. This does not surprise.

2. Also coming in as no surprise is the little fact that both films were featured on MST3K. While I honestly liked most of Track of the Moon Beast, it could have used some assistance from the Satellite of Love

Here, for your consideration, are capsule reviews for the Godzilla movies in the Millennium series, made between the years 1999 to 2004. Only minor spoilers are given, with only the barest of plots to preserve some of the joys of the films. Longer reviews will appear when warranted.

• The reviews for the Heisei series can be found here
• The reviews for the Showa series can be found here

Note on these Reviews

With the exception of Gojira tai Mekagojira (2002) and Gojira tai Mosura tai Mekagojira: Tôkyô S.O.S., none of the Millennium Series are connected. For that reason, I’ve stuck a review of the American Godzilla in here. Hey, it’s a Godzilla film (sort of) and there is no other place for it…

Godzilla (1998 )
Director: Roland Emmerich

A mutant (Jira) created by nuclear testing appears. It heads with a purpose towards New York.

A “realistic” Godzilla, one that could be harmed by conventional weapons and followed the laws of physics and nature to a reasonable degree, would make a very interesting film. It also would be interesting to see what real world effects a Kaijû would have on the world, from the damage it would do to the surrounding landscape to the sociological effects its presence would have on civilization.

Unfortunately, this movie isn’t it. Hell, it doesn’t even meet most of the above criteria.

Between questionable situations (how many eggs did that lizard lay?), a horde of unnecessarily, borderline unlikable characters (pretty much all of the news related characters), an almost cowardly stance (blaming French nuclear testing instead of the usual homegrown accidents and experiments), and rather smug writing and directing, it’s not surprising that the film suffered so many harsh reviews. However, it does have its charms in places. Jira, while not quite Godzilla enough, is suitably impressive and all of his scenes are worth watching.

While a failure, it really isn’t that bad. Maybe a better over Gojira tai Hedorà, Chikyû kogeki meirei: Gojira tai Gaigan, and Gojira tai Megaro, but not that much better…

Gojira ni-sen mireniamu (1999)
aka Godzilla 2000
Director: Takao Okawara

A recently discovered artifact proves to be some sort of living creature that is far too interested in mighty Godzilla.

In many ways, the best Godzilla movie since Gojira tai Biorante. The Kaijû Orga (which is never referred to by name) is very inventive, with a motive that makes him unique among all of the other foes Godzilla has faced. The special effects are more or less impressive, with only a few weak moments. The plot is a bit silly in places, but in the end most serviceable.

All in all, an excellent Godzilla Movie.

Gojira tai Megagirasu: Jî shômetsu sakusen (2000)
aka Godzilla vs. Megaguirus
Director: Masaaki Tezuka

An experiment in a new weapon to use against Godzilla unleashes a new threat upon the world.

While Megaguirus was a very interesting choice for a foe for Godzilla (the Kaijû first appeared in Sora no daikaijû Radon/Rodan) the plot makes him and his kin superfluous. Speaking of plots, the weapon concept is phenomenally bad; it must be heard to be believed. And even then…

The effects in this movie are good, except for one scene where the wires supporting Megaguirus is clearly seen. In this day and age, such errors really shouldn’t be made.

Not a very good movie, it does have one saving grace: it does illustrate one of the benefits of little continuity…

Gojira, Mosura, Kingu Gidorâ: Daikaijû sôkôgeki (2001)
aka Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah:
Giant Monsters All-Out Attack
Director: Shusuke Kaneko

Once more the mighty Godzilla has risen from the sea to punish Japan for its sins. All that stands between the nation and utter destruction are the Guardian Monsters. And even they might not be enough…

One of the best Godzilla movies in years, period. And a very odd statement coming from a Showa fan, as Godzilla has never been as evil as he is in this movie.

Which is really the reason why this movie is so good. It is so unlike any of the movies that came before it or after it. Malicious and dark, Godzilla is clearly a threat that must be destroyed at all cost. The special effects are constantly excellent and while the story is questionable in places, it never becomes utterly ridiculous. (Well, maybe a bit at the end…)

If this isn’t the best of the Godzilla films, it’s damn close.

Gojira tai Mekagojira (2002)
aka Godzilla Against MechaGodzilla
Director: Masaaki Tezuka

Using state-of-the-art technology, the Japanese Defense force builds a robot protector from the remains of the first Godzilla. It is successful in defending Japan from the threat of the second Godzilla, but proves to be just as big a threat to innocents.

A return to the usual, with a monster that’s been seen before, a hero with a personal grudge against Godzilla, and one of the most static battle scenes in the history of the character. By all rights, this should have been another low point. And yet, it is one of the best of the Millennium series.

Gojira tai Mosura tai Mekagojira: Tôkyô S.O.S. (2003)
Aka Godzilla, Mothra, Mechagodzilla:
Tokyo S.O.S.
Director: Masaaki Tezuka

The Moth Goddess Mothra warns Japan to abandon its experiments with Kiryu/Mechagodzilla or face her wrath. However, Kiryu is still needed as protection from a still marauding Godzilla.

Rather disappointing, after the fun Gojira tai Mekagojira (2002). Although it begins promisingly enough, it soon sinks back into the same old routines of Godzilla’s past. It might have been interesting to see Kiryu battle Godzilla and Mothra at the same time, or see Kiryu and Godzilla team up against Mothra. Instead, events unfold pretty much as one might expect.

Still, it is an entertaining film, worthy of a viewing.

Gojira: Fainaru uôzu (2004)
Aka Godzilla: Final War
Director: Ryuhei Kitamura

A monster mash in the spirit of Kaijû sôshingeki (Destroy All Monsters)

Of all of the Godzilla movies talked about in these capsule reviews, this one is the most unique, the most inventive… and the most empty. Not that one notices while watching; while watching it’s thrilling, exciting, and funny. It’s only afterwards that a sort of empty feeling comes.

It’s a very interesting experiment. I wish more of the Millenium series was as daring. I just wish that this, the last Godzilla for the foreseeable future, had a bit more substance to it.

Here, for your consideration, are capsule reviews for the Godzilla movies in the Heisei series, made between the years 1993 to 1995 . Only minor spoilers are given, with only the barest of plots to preserve some of the joys of the films. Longer reviews will appear when warranted.

• The reviews for the Showa series can be found here
• The first part of this series is located here

Gojira VS Mekagojira
(1993)
aka Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II
Director: Takao Okawara

A new weapon is built to fight Godzilla: a giant robot replica known as Mechagodzilla. Meanwhile, an Godzilla egg is discovered and brought to Japan, drawing not only Godzilla but also a second monster…

The return of Mechagodzilla and Rodan should have meant a little bit more, somehow. This is little more than a light show and typical of what was wrong with the Heisei series. Not as aggressively irritating as the previous two film, but not equal to Gojira tai Biorante, either.

Two points of interest do exist with this film. This is the first film in the Heisei series to treat Godzilla as anything other than a pure villain. Also introduced during the course of the movie is the series final reoccurring major character: Baby Godzilla (aka Little Godzilla, aka Godzilla jr.)

Gojira VS Supesugojira
(1994)
aka Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla
Director: Kensho Yamashita

An attempt to control Godzilla leads to problems as gangsters try to steal the control device. However, there are worse problems afoot as a Space Monster comes to Earth to battle Godzilla.

All sound and fury signifying nothing. Yet another Godzilla movie where very little makes sense. For instance, take Space Godzilla’s entire existence. According to a scientist in the film, Space Godzilla was created by a fragment of Biollante passing through a Black Hole. Aside from the specious origin, there are two questions that remain unanswered in the movie:

1. How does the scientist know all this?
2. How is any of this possible when Biollante can’t even exist in this timeline due to the events of Gojira tai Kingu Gidorâ?

One might think that such questions are a result of thinking too much. Which is probably true.

In any case, Space Godzilla is, without a doubt, the dumbest ideas to come out of Toho. Godzilla with crystals out of his shoulders; real imaginative. More lights flashing, more thunder, and more boredom. Not even the presence of a second Kaiju foe (the robot Moguera from the movie Chikyu Boeigun/The Mysterians) can help this one.

Gojira VS Desutoroia (1995)
aka Godzilla vs. Destroyah
Director: Takao Okawara

Creatures created by the Oxygen Destroyer device that killed the first Godzilla appear and wreck havoc on Japan. However, there are bigger problems afoot; something is wrong with the current Godzilla and if it isn’t stopped, the world will be destroyed.

The final film in the Heisei series is a vast improvement over what has come before, despite being as silly as the rest. (Freezing laser?) Destroyah is a wonderful looking creature (ignoring its debt to Alien) and his battle with the dying Godzilla is great. All in all a good movie and a sad reminder of what the Heisei series could have (and should have) been.

• The first part of this review can be found here
• The reviews for the Showa series can be found here

Here, for your consideration, are capsule reviews for the Godzilla movies in the Heisei series, made between the years 1984 to 1992. Only minor spoilers are given, with only the barest of plots to preserve some of the joys of the films. Longer reviews will appear when warranted.

• The reviews for the Showa series begin here.
• The second part of the series begins here.

A Note About the Heisei Reviews

Nothing major. Just a bit of trivia.

When worked on the first portion of these reviews, I was unaware that Gojira (1984) was technically a part of the Showa era. However, the Heisei series has a continuity (albeit a loose and confusing one) that starts with that particular movie. So, rather than squeezing it back in the Showa reviews, I’m keeping it here.

Gojira (1984)

aka Godzilla 1985
Director: Koji Hashimoto

A second Godzilla appears, resuming where the first left off with the destruction of fishing vessels and a slow approach towards civilization. A modern Japan must now face an indestructible force from Earth’s prehistory.

A decent, albeit slow, start to the new series, this movie is a combination sequel to and remake of the original Gojira. The special effects are a vast improvement over the earlier movies and the human protagonists are given the rare victory over mighty Godzilla.

Like the original, this movie was graced by the presence of Raymond Burr. Unfortunately his scenes were not inserted with near the care and skill of the first time through. Which, all things considered, says something about the job done.

Gojira tai Biorante (1989)

aka Godzilla v. Biollante
Director: Kazuki Omori

A grieving scientist mixes the cells of his dead daughter with the cells of a rose and Godzilla. Meanwhile, terrorist try to blackmail the Japanese government. Either the government agrees to their demands or they release Godzilla from his volcanic prison.

And what father wouldn’t want to mix his child’s DNA with that of Godzilla’s? Nothing FREAKING BIZARRE about that, now is there?

Questionable motives and science aside, this is an excellent movie and, unfortunately, the best of the Heisei series. There are some great scenes here, from a class of psychic children drawing a very specific figure from their shared dream to Godzilla’s first battle with the massive Biollante. Biollante herself is spectacular, suggesting imaginative possibilities that the Heisei series never quite lives up to.

This film introduces the psychic Miki Saegusa, one of the few reoccurring human characters in Godzilla’s history.

Gojira tai Kingu Gidorâ (1991)

aka Godzilla v. King Ghidorah
Director: Kazuki Omori

A team of scientists from the future come back in time to modern Japan to enlist help in dealing with the Godzilla situation. Their plan: prevent Godzilla from receiving the initial dose of radiation that made him such a terrible force.

After the heights of Gojira tai Biorante, there is this. Widely considered one of the best of the Heisei series, this film makes no sense what so ever and effectively screws up the continuity set up in the previous two films. Consider this: the protagonists go back in time, accomplish what they set out to accomplish, return and are promptly asked by the people they left behind if they were successful in moving Godzilla. It hurts the head.

On this, the only real way this movie works is if some of the characters are absolute morons. That and the villains’ scheme could have been accomplished in a far easier way without the hassle they go through…

Such daft plots and shaky characterizations might have been okay during the Showa series, but that was solely because that series seldom asked to be taken seriously. A waste of opportunity and time.

Also the most likely of the Heisei series to get a full review, for that very reason.

Gojira tai Mosura

(1992)
aka Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle for Earth
Director: Takao Okawara

As the Earth screams in rage at the damage inflicted upon her, she sends out the Destroyer Battra to punish those involved. Only the Moth Goddess Mothra can stop the end of all life. However, greed humans have stolen her priestess and she before she battles her ancient enemy, she will stop at nothing to get them back.

Note the distinct lack of Godzilla in that summery. While theoretically a remake of Mosura tai Gojira, it is in truth an inferior remake of Mosura with Godzilla in a more or less extended cameo. Again, as with the previous Gojira tai Kingu Gidorâ, character motivations change at a drop of the hat with little to no rational explanation. In fact, the summery above, the complete basis of the whole story, is proven inaccurate by the closing moments of the film. A disappointment.

Mothra would continue from this movie to appear in a series of her own, in which she would take over Gamera’s role as a Friend to Children Everywhere. Lucky girl.

• The second part is located to this series is located here.
• The Showa Reviews can be found here.

Here are capsule reviews for the Showa Godzilla movies that were released in the years between 1971 and 1975. Only minor spoilers are given, with only the barest of plots to preserve some of the joys of the films. Longer reviews will appear when warranted.

• Part One is located here
• Part Two is located here

Gojira tai Hedorâ (1971)
aka Godzilla v. Hedora
aka Godzilla v. the Smog Monster
Director: Yoshimitsu Banno

A terrible monster is created from the pollution of man. Only Godzilla and a dedicated scientist can save the Earth from its devastating power.

Poor Yoshimitsu Banno. Here he was, thinking he made an excellent movie, even planning a sequel using Hedora again, only to have the producer, Tomoyuki Tanaka, tell him that he had “ruined Godzilla”.

As if Gojira-Minira-Gabara: Oru kaijû daishingeki hadn’t already done as much…

In comparison to the previous outing, Gojira tai Hedorâ is almost praiseworthy. There is no recycling of footage, for one thing. While it clings to the Godzilla Plot, Hedora is an actual threat to both Godzilla and Humanity. What could be better?

This movie, for one thing. It drags. It’s filled with bizarre and pointless imagery. It preaches, oh how it preaches. Godzilla suddenly becomes a scientist at the end, or psychic. His breath obtains mystic and magical properties…

Godzilla fans have been calling this the worst Godzilla movie, and it’s hard to argue.

Still, it’s almost worth recommending for just one moment: Godzilla, chasing Hedora, flies. The damnedest moment in the whole Showa series. However, as it is possible to see the scene online (for instance, here at Badmovies.org, if you happen to want to spare yourself the anguish), you might want to spare yourself.

Chikyû kogeki meirei: Gojira tai Gaigan (1972)
aka Godzilla on Monster Island
aka Godzilla v. Gigan
Director: Jun Fukuda

Alien invaders plot to kill Godzilla and take over the world with the help of the Kaijû Gigan and Ghidora. Only a manga artist and his friends can save the radioactive dinosaur from certain doom.

While this movie isn’t nearly as good as Fukuda’s earlier work, it is still a step up from Gojira tai Hedorâ. Just not a big step. Gigan is one of the most unusual of Godzilla’s foes, with his hook hands and saw blade belly (!). Ghidorah, when not presented via scenes from previous Godzilla movies, looks awfully stiff.

Notable for the only Godzilla movie where the viewer can understand a portion of Godzilla’s speech. (It was revealed that Godzilla was capable of communication way back in San daikaijû: Chikyu saidai no kessen, remember.)

Gojira tai Megaro (1973)
aka Godzilla vs. Megalon
Director: Jun Fukuda

The underground dwelling Seatopians, furious at Humanity’s mistreatment of the Earth, steal the robot Jet Jaguar from its creators. It is immediately set to diabolical use, acting as a guide to the Kaijû Gigan and Megalon in the destruction of the surface.

This marks the last of the REALLY BAD Showa Godzilla movies. It’s mainly about Jet Jaguar, that Ultraman/Spectreman wannabe, and his creators struggle to regain control of him. Dull as dirt.

Except, to be perfectly honest, there is some small degree of charm towards the end as Godzilla finally enters the picture. It might be worth fast-fowarding through the other parts to see. Beyond that…

Gojira tai Mekagojira (1974)
aka Godzilla v. Bionic Monster
aka Godzilla v. Cosmic Monster
aka Godzilla v. Mechagodzilla
Director: Jun Fukuda

The heroic Godzilla has gone rouge, returning to his city stomping ways and even brutally attacking his friend Anguirus. The only hope of stopping the rampage can be found in an ancient prophecy and, perhaps, the God King Shisa.

That synopsis keeps the mystery of what’s going on far better than the movie does; one roar from Godzilla and viewers know something is up. (Well, that and the title). On top of this is yet another alien threat and the Godzilla Plot unadorned and unloved.

Still, this is an entertaining entry in the series and a decent farewell from Fukuda to the series. Shisa is distinctive looking in amongst the dinosaurs and giant animals Godzilla usually encounters, though his powers are a bit of a dud. Well worth a watching.

Mekagojira no gyakushu (1975)
aka Terror of Mechagodzilla
Director: Ishirô Honda

Once more the world is threatened by the terror of Mechagodzilla. But this time he has help from the mammoth Titanosaurus. Can Godzilla alone stop them both?

The final Godzilla of the Showa era, this isn’t a bad way to go out. Titanosaurus is a bit of a drip, however, and we have yet again another alien invasion to deal with (same ones as last time, by all appearances.) But, all in all, not a bad little film.

This ends the look at the Showa era Godzilla.

• Part One is located here
• Part Two is located here

Here are capsule reviews for the Showa Godzilla movies that were released in the years between 1966 and 1969. Only minor spoilers are given, with only the barest of plots to preserve some of the joys of the films. Longer reviews will appear when warranted.

• Part One is located here
• Part Three is located here

Gojira, Ebirâ, Mosura: Nankai no daiketto (1966)
aka Godzilla v. the Sea Monster
Director: Jun Fukuda

The four castaways wake on an island that is, unfortunately, far from deserted. It is the base of the military group known as the Red Bamboo as well as the home of the Kaijû Ebirah, a massive man eating lobster. On top of all of this, the four find Godzilla sleeping in an underground cave. With discovery by the Red Bamboo’s search parties only a matter of time, they form a desperate plan: wake Godzilla and hope to find a way off the island in the resulting confusion.

From this point on, Jun Fukuda is the regular series director. Unlike the majority of Honda’s films, Fukuda’s Godzilla films are decidedly absurd and do nothing for the radioactive dinosaur’s fearsome image.

Nevertheless, they are entertaining films and Nankai no daiketto is one of the best of the bunch, with one incident following the next so quick that one has little time to wonder at how daft it all is. (But afterwards… oh, afterwards…)

Originally, this film was to star King Kong and it shows. Godzilla uses physical attacks far more often than usual, and at one point shows a decided interest in a beautiful woman, something far more suited for his erstwhile ape opponent. Ebirah is, while somewhat impressive visually, a poor choice of monster to pit against the aquatic fire breathing dinosaur.

Note that this an inversion of the previous film, Kaijû daisenso, in which not only the Guardian Kaijû defeated by the Invader, he is defeated twice.

(One could make a case for Godzilla being a Guardian Kaijû as well, as he does show an interest in the beautiful woman, to the point of rescuing her. However, that particular moment goes nowhere. He never returns her phone calls and later pretends not to know her.)

Kaijûtô no kessen: Gojira no musuko (1967)

aka Son of Godzilla
Director: Jun Fukuda

A scientific research team, located on a jungle island plagued by giant mantises known as the Kamacuras, learns that they also share the island with a lost egg belong to Godzilla. Unfortunately, the egg has been emitting a distress signal and Godzilla arrives to rescue his newfound son, destroying the team’s camp in process. Now the scientists have to deal with the savage Kamacuras, a sudden illness, and a radioactive dinosaur teaching his son the tricks of the trade. If that isn’t bad enough, the island’s true threat, Kumonga, wakes and begins to scuttle about the island for food.

This movie is notable for several reasons, primarily the introduction of the mildly disturbing son of Godzilla, Minya. The second is that, while the Kamacuras and Kumonga are both inclined to eat the Humans, they also lean towards dinosaur meat, making them a markedly different threat than Godzilla’s previous foes. Finally, this is one of the rare Godzilla films that end with Humanity triumphant over Godzilla.

After a wee slow patch at the start, the movie takes off and, like the previous Nankai no daiketto, does not let up. Most entertaining, so long as you like goofy movies.

(Small note: the English version refers to the Kamacuras as Gimantis and Kumonga as Spiga.)

Kaijû sôshingeki (1968)
aka Destroy All Monsters
Director: Ishirô Honda

In the far flung future of 1999, all of Earth’s Kaijû have been contained on a single island known as Monster Island. This proves to be a less than sound an idea as aliens invade the island and take possession of the titans, sending them out to beat Humanity into submission.

The return of Honda to the series brings with him a mild return of form to the series. The movie spends entirely too much time on the search for the alien invaders, but as nearly every one of Toho’s monster roster is on display within its running time, it’s hard to complain.

At one point intended to be the end of the Godzilla series.

Gojira-Minira-Gabara: Oru kaijû daishingeki (1969)
aka Godzilla’s Revenge
Director: Ishirô Honda

A troubled young boy imagines himself to be Minya’s best friend and learns a little bit about courage in the process.

The Showa Godzilla series drops straight to the bottom with this film. That’s not to say there aren’t good moments in this movie; there are. Unfortunately, they’ve all been stolen from previous Godzilla movies. This film is little more than a rehash episode with a few new sequences added in.

It’s tempting to label this not only the worst Godzilla movie of all time, but also the worse Kaiju movie ever released. Sadly, this is not the case. Three other future Showa Godzilla movies would rivaling it for the spot.

On this is the existence Uchu kaijû Gamera (Super Gamera) which redefines pain. It uses the same cost cutting measures as Oru kaijû daishingeki, using footage from earlier Gamera movies. Only, unlike Oru kaijû daishingeki, it is without the wit, humor, and intelligence a kick to the head provides. Avoid. At all cost.

This ends Part Two of this look at the Showa Godzilla.

• Part One is located here.
• Part Three is located here

Here, for your consideration, are capsule reviews for the Godzilla movies in the Showa series, made between the years 1954 to 1965. Only minor spoilers are given, with only the barest of plots to preserve some of the joys of the films. Longer reviews will appear when warranted.

• Part Two to this series is located here.
• Part Three is located here

Gojira (1954)

aka  Godzilla
Director: Ishirô Honda

 

A giant dinosaur, disturbed by atomic testing, begins destroying fishing boats. When the military steps into end this threat, the beast leaves its hunting grounds to wreck havoc on Japan. Its downbeat nature really sets it apart from the other monster movies of the period.

A bit slow moving, this is nonetheless an excellent example of the giant movie genre in general and Kaijû (Japanese Giant Monsters) in general. The film comes in two varieties: regular version and Raymond Burr enhanced.

Gojira no gyakushû (1955)

aka Gigantis the Fire Monster
aka Godzilla Raids Again
Director: Motoyoshi Oda

A second Godzilla appears, battling a new monster (Anguirus). After defeating its opponent, the massive monster continues the destruction his predecessor started.

This is one of the lesser known Godzilla movies, and for good cause: it’s very dull. It’s notable for the introduction of Anguirus (who is notable for the wide variety of indignities put upon him), and being one of two Showa Godzilla movies directed by someone other than Ishirô Honda or Jun Fukuda.

Kingukongu tai Gojira (1962)

aka King Kong v. Godzilla
Director: Ishirô Honda

 

As Godzilla escapes his icy prison, an expedition to a distant island captures the Ape God Kong. As the expedition bringing Kong nears Japan, he detects the presence of Godzilla and frees himself in order to hunt down the monster.

A rather silly movie with a sad looking Kong, this is nonetheless one of the highlights of the Showa series. It is also the first Godzilla movie to follow the Godzilla Plot.

Mosura tai Gojira (1964)

aka Godzilla v. the Thing
aka Godzilla v. Mothra
Director: Ishirô Honda

A giant egg washes up on a Japanese beach and claimed by a land developer. As Godzilla wakes from his slumber to once more thunder across the countryside, a pair of reporters and a scientist struggle to convince the developer to return the egg to its rightful owner, the Moth Goddess Mothra.

A more serious sequel than Kingukongu tai Gojira, this is another entertaining installment in the series and a step up in quality. (Not a large step, mind you…)

San daikaijû: Chikyu saidai no kessen (1964)

aka Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster
Director: Ishirô Honda

A foreign princess, injured in an assassination attempt, reveals herself to be a Prophetess from Outer Space. She predicts the return of the monsters Godzilla and Rodan, but these monsters pale besides the coming world destroyer, Space Monster Ghidorah. Mothra is summoned to convince Godzilla and Rodan to fight against the newcomer, but neither monster is willing assist humanity

A bit of a dip after Mosura tai Gojira, this is Toho’s first monster mash, featuring all of its major monsters and introducing Godzilla’s greatest enemy. From this point on, Godzilla would be portrayed as less of a monster and more of a hero.

Note the hypocrisy going on as Mothra talks with Godzilla and Rodan. Both monsters object to saving the Earth based on Humanity always attacking them. The nerve! They started it!

(This marks Rodan’s second appearance. His first, in the movie Sora no daikaijû Radon/Rodan, is reviewed here)

Kaijû daisenso (1965)

Aka Godzilla v. Monster Zero
Director: Ishirô Honda

Ghidorah has left Earth and is now plaguing the hidden Planet X. The inhabitants there ask for the assistance of the monsters Godzilla and Rodan, but their motives are less than benevolent…

Another dip in the Godzilla series, though not out and out terrible. This movie stars Nick Adams and varies the standard formula by having the Guardian Monsters beat the Invader twice instead of just once.

This ends Part One of this look at the Showa Godzilla.

• Part Two to this series is located here.
• Part Three is located here

Godzilla has always been a favorite character of mine, and ahead, as my first reviews for the site, are quick little capsule reviews covering every Godzilla movie ever made, with the exception of the most recent, Gojira: Fainaru uôzu (one will be added whenever I finally get a chance to see it.) I plan to do fuller reviews for the films, but as I don’t own the entire series, it’ll have to wait until another day.

Before all of that, I thought I’d share a few brief thoughts on the monster, to give a tiny bit of context to what follows.

Personal Preference

My preferred Godzilla is that of the Showa era (the Godzilla films made between 1954 and 1974). I especially like the later ones where Godzilla is more of a hero, but I think the good stories back then were better. Perhaps not in craft, but in heart. There was less concern about delivering morals (though there were morals) and more effort to make an engaging, if in some cases silly, tale.

The Showa Godzilla also always strikes me as having more soul. The fights seem more personal to me, and less about the colored beams being spouted hither and yond. The Heisei Godzilla (the Godzilla featured in the films made between 1984 and 1995) was, to me, too stiff, as if the special effects department was afraid he’d break.

I don’t want to give the impression I don’t like the Heisei Godzilla movies, or the Millennium movies that followed, for that matter. It’s just that I grew up with the Showa Godzilla. When I think of towering dinosaurs crushing landscapes, it’s of a rubbery suit with eyes, more often than not, pointed in a direction other than where he’s supposed to be looking. The love I have for him and his movies is hard to beat, even with the most advance special effects, even with the heights of animatronics.

The Godzilla Plot

While I do love Godzilla movies, and Kaijû (Japanese Giant Monster) movies in general, it’s hard to ignore the fact that many of them are built on the same basic plot, with the occasional variations. They tend to go something like this:

• Invader Kaijû attacks the given Locality – Usually, but not always, that Locality is Japan.

• Guardian Kaijû fights Invader and loses – On rare occasions this means the death of Guardian. When that happens, kin of the Guardian comes to finish the score

• Guardian fights Invader again and defeats Invader - Again, in rare cases this means the death of the Invader.

• Guardian leaves Locality in peace – Or, more often than not, pieces. Kaijû are not the most careful of beasts

Invader is any Kaijû that is more interested in destruction than anything else. Guardian is any Kaijû that is specifically guarding a place, or shows an interest in something other than rearranging landscape.

Secret Shame

One further thing before I wrap this essay up. I like the 1998 Godzilla. It’s a terrible movie, and it’s probably more than a little bit disrespectful of it’s source, but I can’t help it. I find the monster parts vastly entertaining.

To differentiate between mammoth lizards, I’m going to follow the lead of Gojira Fainaru uôzu and refer to the American Godzilla as Jira, which, for whatever reasons, strikes me as a far classier and clever name than “GINO” or “Deanzilla”